Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

[train whistle toots]

[train whistle toots]

Oops.

Dad!

I'm outside, Emma!

I'm outside, Emma!

I thought we agreed

to unpack the important stuff first?

You know, the stuff we need to survive the harsh winter?

You know, the stuff we need to survive the harsh winter?

Microwave, TV, toilet paper?

Microwave, TV, toilet paper?

[groans]

Stop eye-balling me, elf.

[toy squeaks and giggles]

[toy squeaks and giggles]

Yay, Christmas!

[muttering]

Uh, maybe we should just hang a wreath on the door?

Uh, maybe we should just hang a wreath on the door?

Ah, my sweet child.

Potkins do not simply hang a wreath.

It's go big or go home.

It's go big or go home.

I like the "go home" part.

[sighs]

Come on, Em.

This is a fresh start to our fresh start.

This is a fresh start to our fresh start.

New job.

New 'hood.

We gotta do this right.

You should help.

Get your Christmas on.

You can untangle me!

You can untangle me!

As amazing as that sounds, I'm missing a box.

A crazy important one.

It's labeled "crazy important"?

It's labeled "crazy important"?

Check my office.

I left a bunch of unopened stuff in there.

And I was serious,

please untangle me?

please untangle me?

♪ You'd better watch out ♪

♪ You'd better not cry ♪

♪ You'd better not pout ♪

♪ I'm tellin' you why ♪

♪ I'm tellin' you why ♪

♪ Santa Claus is comin' to town... ♪

Whoa, her house is phenomenal.

Whoa, her house is phenomenal.

♪ He sees you when you're sleepin' ♪

♪ He knows when you're awake ♪

♪ He knows if you've been bad or good ♪

♪ He knows if you've been bad or good ♪

♪ So be good for goodness sake ♪

♪ You'd better watch out You'd better not cry... ♪

♪ You'd better watch out You'd better not cry... ♪

We're gonna need more lights.

♪ ...Tonight! ♪♪

♪ ...Tonight! ♪♪

Any luck?

Uh, yup, all here.

Christmas is officially saved.

Christmas is officially saved.

Well, good.

Aw...

Aw...

the Potkins pajama photo.

[chuckling] You know,

your mother always picked those pajamas herself.

Yeah, she had a real gift for hideous.

Yeah, she had a real gift for hideous.

[laughs] She sure did.

Look at that one.

Adorbs.

What was that, five years ago?

Four.

Four.

And no one says "adorbs".

It's the last one we took.

It's the last one we took.

We should take this photo again.

The two of us?

Sorry, Dad, it's just not the same.

Sorry, Dad, it's just not the same.

Ah, come on,

I can photoshop in Uncle Charlie and Grandma.

Or the latest teen pop sensation

Or the latest teen pop sensation

whose name I'm not hip enough to know?

Hey...

It'll get easier, I promise.

It'll get easier, I promise.

Eventually, this will start to feel like home.

Not by tomorrow.

Not by tomorrow.

Not by Christmas.

[♪♪♪]

[laser zaps]

We have shrinkage!

This Christmas,

This Christmas,

I've incorporated

the shrinkage/de-shrinkage technology

that allows us to fit a world worth of toys

onto a single sled!

All we need

are these slick shades.

Just because you're stuffing stockings

Just because you're stuffing stockings

doesn't mean you can't look snowman cool.

Isn't that right, Commander Chill?

Just give me the goggles, Elfonso.

Just give me the goggles, Elfonso.

It's Christmas Eve.

My squad's on the clock.

Of course, the clock!

Of course, the clock!

Like all Elf-Tech, these babies are powered

by Christmas Magic.

Which means they only work on Christmas Eve.

Once the sun comes up on Christmas morning,

everything shuts down.

everything shuts down.

No shrinking, no unshrinking.

Nada.

[snaps fingers]

Got it. Let's go.

Got it. Let's go.

Wait!

You need to know how to unshrink the toys.

All right, talk fast,

and no model poses.

and no model poses.

It's simple.

This button,

right here.

[laser zaps]

Freeze ray!

Freeze ray!

My bad.

Uh, wrong button.

Just need to reverse the process.

[laser zaps]

[laser zaps]

Wowza!

The dreaded orange mohawk!

Oh, uh... [clearing throat]

Oh, uh... [clearing throat]

I must have programmed the buttons wrong.

Why do you always find the bugs during the demo?

Elfonso!

Elfonso!

You're gonna have to come with us.

Fix it in flight. Let's go--

In flight?

Have you flipped your pointy-hat?

I-I'm not field trained, I'm a tech-elf.

I-I'm not field trained, I'm a tech-elf.

You're the Chief Tech-Elf!

Nobody knows this stuff better than you.

You can swap out with one of my elf commandos, okay?

You can swap out with one of my elf commandos, okay?

Come on.

But I've never left the North Pole,

or even seen a normal-sized kid,

or even seen a normal-sized kid,

or their hideous rounded ears.

[shuddering]

Get it together, elf!

We need you on that sled.

We need you on that sled.

Christmas is depending on you.

[slaps shoulder]

[snaps fingers] It's go time!

[snaps fingers] It's go time!

[exhaling nervously]

Okay...

[novelty car horn honks outside]

They came!

They came!

They actually came!

Emma! Emma?

What?

What?

Did the neighbor's lights start a fire?

I know you miss the old house.

And this Christmas seems a little lonely

without the extended family.

without the extended family.

Father...

what shady thing are you up to?

No shade.

Santa's work.

Santa's work.

A little Christmas surprise.

Since we can't be there

for the annual Potkins' shin-dig,

I decided to bring some family to us.

I decided to bring some family to us.

[gasps] Is it Grandma?

Or Aunt Cicely?

Or Aunt Cicely?

Oh, the Prizapelly twins!

Please say the Prizapelly twins!

No, uh...

They're all too far away,

They're all too far away,

so... I found our closest living relatives.

There's a Monster Truck in our driveway.

And it's bouncing.

And it's bouncing.

We've never actually met them,

but we know them,

by their reputation.

No...

No...

You can't mean...

the Farkleys?

I'm sure they're not as bad as the urban legend suggests.

I'm sure they're not as bad as the urban legend suggests.

[doorbell rings]

So they didn't blow up Uncle Ted's station wagon

on the Fourth of July?

on the Fourth of July?

Or toilet paper the White House on Halloween?

Or sink that cruise ship on Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Or sink that cruise ship on Talk Like a Pirate Day?

[laughs]

Those crazy Farkleys.

Look, it'll be fun.

Look, it'll be fun.

Just don't turn your back on them,

and hide the forks.

[bag thuds heavily]

Seasons greetings, Potkins!

Seasons greetings, Potkins!

Barkley Farkley.

Here's a fruitcake!

Might want to re-gift that.

[cake thunks solidly]

[Barkley's mom calls]: Merry Christmas, baby!

[Barkley's mom calls]: Merry Christmas, baby!

Be good!

Daddy and I love ya!

Daddy and I love ya!

[tires squealing]

Your parents,

they're not staying?

Nope.

They're off to Peoria.

They're off to Peoria.

There's a Monster Truck Rally on

[imitating hype ad]: Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

But today is Friday! Friday! Friday!

But today is Friday! Friday! Friday!

Which gives us

plenty of family bonding time.

[sniffing]

[sniffing]

Uh... I'm not sure what's happening.

She's your cousin.

She's your cousin.

Fourth Cousin,

thrice removed.

[sniffing]

[whispering] I can smell the resemblance.

[whispering] I can smell the resemblance.

We should hang some stockings.

On what?

On what?

We don't even have a fireplace.

Oh, don't we?

It's not even moving.

It's not even moving.

And...

I got some fancy Christmas duct tape

to put them up.

Oh, no, you don't!

Oh, no, you don't!

Mom hand-made this stocking for me.

You don't just duct-tape it to some television.

You don't just duct-tape it to some television.

We could superglue it.

Well, since stockings are out,

Well, since stockings are out,

let's at least get ready for the annual

Christmas PJ picture extravaganza!

Christmas PJ picture extravaganza!

[laughs in triumph] Ha ha!

Whoa, freaky.

Whoa, freaky.

I'm in!

I'm out.

So...

you got any chestnuts?

[sighs]

[sighs]

[spooky music cue plays]

[spooky music cue plays]

Uh...

what is happening right now?

I'm new to the whole Christmas Eve sleep-over thing.

I'm new to the whole Christmas Eve sleep-over thing.

Should we be doing something?

Oh, a burping contest.

No, no, no, that's not neces--

[expels an extended burp]

[expels an extended burp]

[finishes burp]

Not Christmassy enough?

Not Christmassy enough?

I mean, I can do "Jingle Bells."

Oh, no, no, no!

Just sleep.

You know sleep, right?

You know sleep, right?

Do that.

[turns on tape of loud yodeling]

[whispering] Helps me sleep.

[whispering] Helps me sleep.

[yodeling blasts]

[descending scream from outside]

[descending scream from outside]

[body thuds]

[groaning in pain]

[groaning]

Sorry, sir.

[incoming call chimes, "Jingle Bells" tune]

Elfonso!

Are you okay?

Can you even talk?

No permanent damage.

Santa broke the fall.

You're supposed to use the parachute.

You're supposed to use the parachute.

Kinda hard to pull the cord with my eyes closed

and all the screaming.

Just deliver your toys

and meet back at the rendezvous point!

and meet back at the rendezvous point!

It's go time!

Commander Chill out!

Who builds a house without a chimney?

Gonna have to do this the hard way.

Gonna have to do this the hard way.

[roaring]

[wincing] Christmas is hard...

Did you hear that?

Did you hear that?

Barkley?

[screams]

[screams]

My stocking!

My stocking!

What are you doing?

You know,

You know,

just binge-watching some fireplace TV.

No spoilers.

My stocking will not be hung from a Plasma Screen.

I have standards!

Oof!

[whispering] It's a--

Lawn gnome.

I knew they'd rise up and attack.

I knew they'd rise up and attack.

The signs were there.

--Elf!

Aren't they supposed to be shorter, though?

Aren't they supposed to be shorter, though?

That's an awful stereotype.

[sighing with satisfaction]

Piece of cake.

Piece of cake.

[chuckles]

[laser zaps]

[yelps] Ah! Missed!

Sweet Gingerbread!

[wood splintering]

Not again!

Not again!

Okay, I'll just shrink you back to normal.

You got this, Elfonso, you got this.

Please work, please!

Too small!

Oh, it's stuck!

What is happening!

This is a disaster!

This is a disaster!

Run!

I can fix this.

[laser zapping]

[laser zapping]

[screaming]

[together]: We're alive!

We're alive!

[together]: Wait, what just happened?

[together]: Wait, what just happened?

And why are there two giant Viking ships

in your living room?

Those aren't ships.

Those aren't ships.

They're shoes!

[Elfonso gasping in panic]

Elf-zilla!

Kids!

I saw kids!

Curvy-eared freaks.

Curvy-eared freaks.

You're seeing things, Elfonso.

It must be the hologram feature.

It must be the hologram feature.

Yeah.

You saved my life.

You did like my burping!

You did like my burping!

No...

No, this is not happening.

No, this is not happening.

Okay, not a hugger.

I get it.

I'll send you a thank you note.

I'll send you a thank you note.

Or a pet snake. [clicks tongue]

Please, no snake! It's all good.

What is this place?

What is this place?

[gasping in awe]: Gift heaven.

[gasping in awe]: Gift heaven.

[Mr. Potkins calls]: Emma!

[gasping in fright]

Emma?

Barkley Farkley?

I thought I heard a noise.

[wind gusting through window]

Hmm.

No more eggnog before bed.

[Elfonso panting in fright]

[yelping and jostling]

[yelping]

Stupid elf!

You never get caught!

You never get caught!

That's the first rule of elf club!

Barkley?

Barkley?

I think I swallowed a doll head.

I think I swallowed a doll head.

[incoming call chimes, "Jingle Bells" tune]

Chill!

Thank Gumdrops you called!

I'm way out of my league here.

This is worse than the Frosty Meltdown of '66.

This is worse than the Frosty Meltdown of '66.

Elfonso, why aren't you wearing your goggles?

Goggles...

Goggles...

Oh, no!

You need to find those goggles!

You need to find those goggles!

Without them, you can't unshrink anything!

[Elfonso]: They must be in here somewhere.

You're the one who warned us,

You're the one who warned us,

once the sun comes up,

Christmas magic goes away,

and they won't even work anymore!

Stop stressing me out!

Stop stressing me out!

Oh no...

Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no!

I'll call you back.

Where are those stupid goggles?

[screaming]

Incoming!

Stupid goggles!

[shrunken gifts clattering]

Okay, I went into my first house,

Okay, I went into my first house,

I zapped the snowglobe,

then that scary guy showed up,

and...

They must still be there!

They must still be there!

All right, Elfonso,

time to put on your big-boy stockings,

time to put on your big-boy stockings,

and find those goggles.

I just need a little elf-confidence.

[exhales bravely]

Oh, no...

Oh, no!

I've lost my fourth cousin.

Dad's going to kill me.

My-my stocking!

Where's my stocking?

Down here...

Look down, beneath the toys.

Getting warmer.

Jackpot.

Jackpot.

You can talk?

Is this like a Ghost of Christmas Past situation?

Is this like a Ghost of Christmas Past situation?

Look inside!

"To my favorite cuz, Love, Barkley."

"To my favorite cuz, Love, Barkley."

[Barkley in menacing voice]: What's in the box?

[laughing] That was good!

So good.

So good.

Merry Christmas, cuz.

We're walkie-buds!

Look down,

by the bench!

by the bench!

[Emma groans in frustration]

Aw, so cute.

Aw, so cute.

You look like a cricket.

A cute, little, angry cricket.

There's nothing cute about this!

There's nothing cute about this!

Or crickets.

We're trapped!

[musical fish ornament activates]

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

♪ I n a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ I n a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ O'er the fields we go-- ♪

Stop! How are you even a decoration?

♪ --Giddy-up now! Dashing through the sn-- ♪

♪ --Giddy-up now! Dashing through the sn-- ♪

Stupid fake fish.

We need Dad.

We have to get back to the house.

Ooh, that's a negative.

Ooh, that's a negative.

Your house is all the away on the other side of the street.

And at our current shrunken size,

we're a gazillion miles away.

we're a gazillion miles away.

It would take a week to walk there.

We don't have a week.

We need the elf's goggles to unshrink us, tonight.

We need the elf's goggles to unshrink us, tonight.

Maybe we can find a stamp,

mail ourselves.

Barkley, this is serious!

We're gonna be stuck like this!

We're gonna be stuck like this!

We'll be freaks!

We'll have to check into a roach motel, and...

and buy doll clothes!

Have you seen doll clothes?

Have you seen doll clothes?

They don't make cool doll clothes?

It'll be all flower dresses and overalls!

Okay, chill out, cuz.

We've got till sun-up.

Which is in exactly three hours and 15 minutes.

How do you know that?

Doesn't everybody?

Doesn't everybody?

Here, I'll set my stop-watch.

Let's see...

[throwing star lands, rattling]

Bingo!

Nice.

Nice.

And...

[countdown clock beeps]

Do you have anything in that fanny pack

that might actually help us?

Like a plan, maybe?

Like a plan, maybe?

I have a plan.

We hire ourselves out

to salvage loose change from sofas.

Or those keys that fall between the seats of cars.

Or those keys that fall between the seats of cars.

Anyway, we save up enough cash,

then hire a mad scientist to build a machine

that stretches our bones to full-size.

that stretches our bones to full-size.

Boo-yah!

[groans in exasperation]

I knew you'd dig it, cuz.

I knew you'd dig it, cuz.

[Emma groaning]

[grunting with effort]

Locked.

[doorbell rings]

[doorbell ringing]

[doorbell ringing]

Uh... who are you?

Uh... who are you?

♪ Elf-A-Gram! ♪

Man, talk about Christmas overload.

Man, talk about Christmas overload.

Okay, Emma,

it's up to you to find a way out of this mess.

it's up to you to find a way out of this mess.

There!

Barkley, are you seeing this?

Barkley?

Barkley?

Tell me

Tell me

you're not eating floor food.

Of course not,

Of course not,

that would be gross,

and violate the 10-second rule which I firmly abide by.

We're in my neighbor's house,

and we need to get her attention.

Copy that.

I could burrow under her toenail--

No!

Not what I'm saying.

What's wrong with you?

I meant, something a little less... blech.

I meant, something a little less... blech.

Okay.

Copy that. Negative on the toenail.

Going with plan B.

Going with plan B.

I climb up,

crawl inside her head,

and kung fu an S.O.S. into her eardrum.

and kung fu an S.O.S. into her eardrum.

[sighing]

Who exactly should I thank

for sending me an "Elf-A-Gram"

at 2:00 in the morning?

Uh... secret admirer.

Uh... secret admirer.

Uh... need-to-know basis.

Huh... I could've sworn

Huh... I could've sworn

we moved the couch into this room.

Couch?

[chuckles] I don't think so.

What are you doing?

Looking for rat infestations.

It's part of your Elf-A-Gram signature service.

It's part of your Elf-A-Gram signature service.

Lucky you.

I should go wake the kids.

Kids?

You mean with the high voices,

You mean with the high voices,

and the diapers, and the messy rooms,

and the creepy little ears and stuff?

Sort of.

They're real?

They're real?

Off the ground! Now! Come on!

Let's go, off the ground.

Move, move, move!

Move, move, move!

[crunching underfoot]

[gasps in horror]

Oh, no!

What have I done?

What have I done?

Oh, no.

I can't look. Is it...?

I'm afraid so.

I'm afraid so.

A little person.

[gasping in despair]

It's okay.

We can glue its head back.

Glue its head?

Glue its head?

What kind of sick monster are you?

I've got others.

I can spare one.

[relieved] Oh!

It's just a Christmas Village figurine.

It's just a Christmas Village figurine.

Now, what are you doing still awake?

Santa's coming, and I would hate for you

to end up on the naughty list!

to end up on the naughty list!

Now, for the love of reindeer,

don't step on the ground!

You're gonna crush somebody!

I'll just see myself out.

I'll catch a cab back to the North Pole.

Here I go, leaving now.

Bye!

[stumbling and yelping]

[muttering] Stupid gingerbread man...

[novelty decoration giggles] Yay, Christmas!

[novelty decoration giggles] Yay, Christmas!

[whispering] Kids?

[whispering] Kids?

Are you there?

Kids!

Are you sure we shouldn't just sleep here?

I mean, these slippers look really comfortable.

Just wake her up.

Just wake her up.

But be gentle.

Don't want her squashing you like a bug.

Got it.

I got just the thing in here somewhere.

I got just the thing in here somewhere.

What's up with the whole fanny-pack anyway?

You must be talking about my utility belt.

You must be talking about my utility belt.

Why? You jelly?

Uh, that's a definite "no".

Oh, I get it.

Oh, I get it.

I'd be jealous of the best Christmas gift ever, too.

Look...

my parentals have to get a little creative

my parentals have to get a little creative

with their gifts.

Truth is,

I'm usually flying solo on Christmas.

I've had these walkies for five years now.

Never had a friend to try them out with.

Till now.

Till now.

Ba-dang!

Here it is.

Uh...

Uh...

why do you have a tickling feather

in your fanny-pack?

Where else would you keep your tickling feather?

Where else would you keep your tickling feather?

[sighs bravely]

Gitchy-gitchy-goo!

Ah-gitchy-gitchy-goo!

Ah-gitchy-gitchy-goo!

Definitely a Christmas to forget...

Gitchy-gitchy-goo! Gitchy-gitchy--

Gitchy-gitchy-goo! Gitchy-gitchy--

Wait,

Why do you get the cute, sparkly walkie-talkie,

and mine is all, "Ten-hut!"

Oh...

Oh...

I just thought that the camo one was more your vibe.

You know, less girly-girl.

Since you're clearly going

for the whole "I'm super serious" thing.

for the whole "I'm super serious" thing.

Wait, what?

Me?

Uh... that is so not what I'm going for!

Uh... that is so not what I'm going for!

Oh, well, either way, the bedazzles match my eyes.

I think I need some radio-silence.

I think I need some radio-silence.

I should go off-radio, too.

These old lady dogs are pretty calloused.

It's time to double-feather.

It's time to double-feather.

Goochy-goochy-goo!

Come on, wake up.

Come on, wake up.

Ah-gitchy-gitchy-goo! Ah-gitchy-gitchy-goo!

[snoring]

[snoring]

[purring]

[purring]

Uh... Barkley?

We have a problem.

A big, furry, whiskered problem.

A big, furry, whiskered problem.

Did you hear me?

Turn your walkie back on!

Turn your walkie back on!

What up, cuz!

Behind you!

Behind you!

You need to run!

Go, girlfriend!

Go, girlfriend!

I mean, the moves are kinda whack,

but I like the funk.

♪ Go shorty, go shorty ♪

♪ Go shorty, go shorty ♪

♪ Go, go, go, shorty ♪

Run!

It's behind you!

♪ Go, shorty ♪

♪ Go, go-- ♪

Look behind you!

♪ Go, shorty, go, shorty ♪

♪ Go, shorty, go, shorty ♪

♪ Go, shorty go, shorty... ♪

Move!

Behind you!

Behind you!

[cat purring]

[cat grumbles]

[screams]

[screams]

[scream echoing]

[snoring]

[snoring]

[meows grumpily]

There's a giant cat-monster down here!

Why didn't you warn me?

Why didn't you warn me?

I was trying to!

He saw me dive under here.

You know what, I'm gonna make a break for it.

You know what, I'm gonna make a break for it.

[screaming]

[screaming]

[Barkley meowing hopefully]

[Barkley meowing hopefully]

Meow! Meow!

What are you doing?

I speak cat!

I'm trying to reason with this thing.

I'm trying to reason with this thing.

[cat meows]

Nobody speaks cat!

[screams]

You're just making stupid sounds!

Keep running!

Keep running!

Yup!

Couldn't agree more.

[screaming]

[cat meowing]

[cat meowing]

[screams echoing]

Barkley, talk to me!

Barkley, talk to me!

Come out to the coast, have a few laughs.

It's okay!

Just stay where you are, you'll be safe.

Just stay where you are, you'll be safe.

[cat meowing] Safe?

It's cardboard!

[screaming]

[screaming]

Come on, kitty,

stop it!

This is only fun for one of us.

[screaming]

I think I'm gonna barf.

Barkley, stay in the tube. It's not safe.

Wowzers!

Wowzers!

That is totally going

in the new Christmas Tradition file.

Barkley! Furball, 12:00!

Barkley! Furball, 12:00!

[gasps]

Hey there, kitty kitty.

Look, I know you're angry.

Look, I know you're angry.

I'd be angry, too, if I had to wear that.

[cat snarling]

[cat snarling]

Run, Emma!

Get home!

Hang stockings and eat candy-canes in my honor.

[activates novelty singing fish] ♪ Dashing through the snow-- ♪

[activates novelty singing fish] ♪ Dashing through the snow-- ♪

[Emma calling] Hey!

Hey!

Yeah, that's right, over here!

Some real fine fish caroling goin' on up here!

Some real fine fish caroling goin' on up here!

♪ Makin' spirits bright ♪

[snarls]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Wait, no, no, no, no.

I just meant for you to look this way,

not actually come this way.

You... You see the difference, right?

You... You see the difference, right?

[binoculars clatter]

[binoculars clatter]

Good kitty...

She even decorates her kitty litter?

Oh, come on!

You're too high up!

Don't do it!

You're why cats have a bad name.

[growling]

Cannonball!

[walkie static]

[walkie static]

Well, that ribbon did absolutely nothing.

[object falling]

I stand corrected.

Hello?

Hello?

Little dudes?

Anyone in there?

If you can hear me,

go to the light.

go to the light.

Go to the light!

Cuz?

Cuz?

[static crackling] Cuz?

Barkley?

Can you hear me? Cuz!

Barkley!

Barkley!

Answer me!

[static crackling] Answer me!

Oh, come on, dead battery.

Stupid bedazzled walkie!

Stupid bedazzled walkie!

[rousing, groggily]

Tinselpaws...

[sighs]

You know you're not supposed to be on the table.

You know you're not supposed to be on the table.

[cat meowing]

Help!

Look down here!

Play with your own toys.

Play with your own toys.

[sighs]

Oh, my word,

it's the middle of the night.

Timothy and the kids should have been here by now.

Timothy and the kids should have been here by now.

[screams]

Where's my phone?

My phone...

Grandma again.

Must have fallen asleep.

Must have fallen asleep.

Um, you were supposed to be here hours ago.

Everything is ready.

Everything is ready.

I even have something extra special

for little Timmy Jr.

Please call me when you get this.

[sighing]

[humming]

[humming]

What..?

Yes!

Tinselpaws...

you understand.

After all these years.

I knew!

We have to record this,

for science!

I'll get the camera.

I'll get the camera.

Cat people.

[alert pings]

[alert pings]

Oh, no.

The sleigh is on the move.

It's my only chance for elf backup!

It's my only chance for elf backup!

Children, I'll be back.

Remember, the microwave and the garbage disposal

Remember, the microwave and the garbage disposal

are not your friends.

Just touch the letters that spell your name.

Come on, you'll be famous.

They'll put you on the interwebs.

They'll put you on the interwebs.

[cooing] You can do it,

yes, you can...

[kissing and beckoning]

Come on!

Please, cuz, say something!

Anything! Grunt!

Anything! Grunt!

Scream! Yodel!

You know what,

I'm coming in there after you.

You saved my fanny-pack back there,

You saved my fanny-pack back there,

the least I can do is--

[inhaling bravely]

[groaning] Oh...

[groaning] Oh...

for the love of humanity,

what is she feeding this cat?

Oh... Oh, I'm sorry, cuz,

I thought I was strong enough,

but the smell...

The smell.

The smell.

I didn't deserve you.

I didn't deserve you.

You were the best fourth cousin I ever had.

We didn't know each other for long,

but the times we had?

but the times we had?

Good times.

[clears throat]

You're alive!

You're alive!

And you smell like a cat toilet.

And you smell like a cat toilet.

Well, hold your nose.

We've got a table to climb.

[gasping with effort]

See?

The cat-lady's phone is on the desk.

We can call for help.

Okay, well, we better hurry,

because we have less than two hours left--

because we have less than two hours left--

Whoa...

Candy!

Candy!

Sweet monster-sized candy!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Barkley...

stop acting like Barkley@

stop acting like Barkley@

We're on a mission.

Oh...

Mayday!

Mayday!

Elf emergency alert!

I can't find the sled.

I can't find the sled.

Does any elf copy?

[incoming call chimes]

Elfonso!

You missed the rendezvous point!

We had to take off!

We had to take off!

Don't go!

I have a situation.

And we've got stockings to stuff!

You're gonna have to fix it on your own, kiddo.

You're gonna have to fix it on your own, kiddo.

On my own?

I'm not trained for this!

Whoa! Watch out for that plane!

Whoa! Watch out for that plane!

[forlornly] I'm not trained for anything...

[forlornly] I'm not trained for anything...

Huh, the grandkids.

Huh, the grandkids.

They do the whole pajama thing, too.

I should've taken that picture.

I should've taken that picture.

We will.

I promise.

Uh... what are you doing?

Gotta stretch out

Gotta stretch out

the old number-dialing legs.

Barkley!

Please stop making me roll my eyes.

Please stop making me roll my eyes.

I'm getting a migraine.

Okay, uh...

[beeps]

[beeps]

[beeping]

[beeping]

Okay, you hit the "6" and "8", and I'll hit "Call".

Okay.

[call ringing]

[cell phone rings]

Who is this?

[low voice booming] It's the middle of the night!

[low voice booming] It's the middle of the night!

Uh... Dad!

It's Emma!

We need help!

We need help!

[high-pitched squeaking]

Whoever this is...

Whoever this is...

[low voice booming] ...don't call here again.

Whoa!

Okay then.

Okay then.

Uh... we'll send a text.

An S-O-S.

You jump on "S", and I'll jump on "O".

But I want to do "O".

But I want to do "O".

What?

[beeping]

Watch it, Tiny Tim!

This is fun!

I like this game.

Barkley!

Watch your feet!

It should not be this difficult!

Total butt dial!

[text alert pings]

[text alert pings]

[groans]

This just got weird.

[groaning]

Auto-correct!

You are the bane of my existence!

You are the bane of my existence!

[incoming call ringing]

Dad?

Dad?

Coming!

Hey! Look down!

-Timothy? -Can you see me?

-Timothy? -Can you see me?

Are you on your way?

You're still at the airport?

I-I didn't realize the storm was that bad.

I-I didn't realize the storm was that bad.

Well, it has to clear up soon.

Everything's ready when you get here.

Everything's ready when you get here.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

[sighs sadly]

[sighs sadly]

It's okay, Tinselpaws.

It's okay, Tinselpaws.

They know how much this visit means to us.

We just have to wait a little while longer.

We just have to wait a little while longer.

[sighs]

I need some candy.

And we need a new plan.

Right, Barkley?

Barkley, where are you?

Mm...

It's so good!

Stop eating the calendar!

I can't stop myself.

It's so much yum.

I've eaten my weight in sugar.

I've eaten my weight in sugar.

My cavities have cavities.

My blood runs thick with chocolate.

Uh...Barkley, this is bad.

Uh...Barkley, this is bad.

Old lady's eating her feelings.

You've gotta get out of there.

No!

No!

I won't leave my sweet babies!

We could stay in the calendar,

and live the sweet life,

the milk chocolatey life.

the milk chocolatey life.

I need some chocolate.

I need some chocolate.

She's coming.

You have to get out of there.

You have to get out of there.

Barkley!

She's gonna eat them all!

You've got to get out of there!

You've got to get out of there!

Don't worry!

I mean, how much chocolate can she eat?

Chocolate-eating freak!

This one's mine!

[Barkley screaming] Whoa!

[Barkley screaming] Whoa!

Not the dentures, not the dentures!

Not the dentures, not the dentures!

Hey!

Don't eat my cousin!

Merry Christmas?

Merry Christmas?

[screams in horror]

[screams]

[screams reverberate]

[screams reverberate]

[sighs wearily]

I guess a good night's sleep

is something I'm not getting for Christmas.

is something I'm not getting for Christmas.

The snow's really coming down.

The snow's really coming down.

I bet it looks good against all the lights I put up.

The girls should see this.

Crazy cat lady!

Crazy cat lady!

Come back!

You're our only hope!

You're our only hope!

Emma, look.

Wow.

It's snowing.

On Christmas Eve.

On Christmas Eve.

[sighs]

It's...

...beautiful.

I mean, you can almost see

I mean, you can almost see

the individual flakes.

My dad did a good job with those lights.

[cuckoo clock chimes 3:00 a.m.]

[cuckoo clock chimes 3:00 a.m.]

Clock's ticking.

What are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do?

I've got the most epic idea.

I've got the most epic idea.

Kids!

You gotta see this!

You gotta see this!

It's like a winter wonderland.

Kids?

Kids?

Yes, yes, an exterminator.

Yes, yes, an exterminator.

Two of them!

They were like tiny girls,

only scary.

Elves?

Elves?

[gasps]

They were around the presents.

And one of them had a magic bag

And one of them had a magic bag

tied around its waist.

My cat saw them, too.

He might be able to describe them better.

He might be able to describe them better.

Hello?

Hello?

[gasping]

[gasping]

No, no, no, no, no...

Kids?

Kids!

Kids!

Kids!

"Help"?

You are here.

Freeze!

Freeze!

Easy...

Is that tree loaded?

Maybe.

Maybe.

Who are you?

Elfonso,

the Elf... exterminator.

I heard you had a little problem.

I heard you had a little problem.

A very, very little problem.

Where did you see the elf infestation?

Where did you see the elf infestation?

The advent calendar.

They were on my chocolate.

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Great Caesar's Snowballs!

Are you in there, kids?

Hang tight!

Hang tight!

I'll get some oatmeal and prune juice,

and have you out in a few hours!

[spluttering]

I did not eat them.

I did not eat them.

I don't think.

My stomach has felt a little funny.

Probably just nerves.

Probably just nerves.

Tonight has not turned out exactly as planned.

Fear not!

Elfonso, the great Elf, Gnome, and Leprechaun chaser

Elfonso, the great Elf, Gnome, and Leprechaun chaser

is on the hunt.

If they're here, I'll find them.

[drone activating]

[drone activating]

They can't escape my expert eye.

Look out!

Look out!

[quad-copter whirring]

[girls screaming]

[girls screaming]

It's them!

They're... flying?

They're... flying?

That copter was for my grandson!

Thieves!

Stop them!

The remote.

The remote.

No!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No!

If you don't mind?

Give it to me!

Give it to me!

[arguing]

No!

Give it to me! Give it to me!

Give it to me! Give it to me!

[screaming]

[arguing]

Give me that!

You can't!

They'll crash!

[screaming]

[gasping]

Elf ears...

You're one of them!

[screaming]

[groaning] Christmas... still hard.

Emma?

Em?

Emma?

Where are you, Em?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

My snot has turned to snow boogers.

Well, that plan went bust.

You think?

You think?

We're done.

We'll never make it now.

Don't worry, cuz.

I got a plan.

I got a plan.

Two words,

snowball...

cannon.

Please stop.

Wait,

Wait,

is "snowball cannon" three words?

Who cares?

It's crazy!

Like riding quad-copters,

Like riding quad-copters,

or wearing fanny-packs,

or tickle-feathers.

The only reason we're here

is 'cause you wanted to hang my stocking

is 'cause you wanted to hang my stocking

from a DVR'd Fireplace!

I just wanted to help.

Well, stop,

Well, stop,

'cause your help isn't helpful.

It's a disaster.

It's no wonder you never had a walkie-talkie buddy.

You're right.

You're right.

I pushed too hard.

I had to go full Barkley.

I had to go full Barkley.

It's just that my parents are always on the move,

It's just that my parents are always on the move,

and I've never had a real Christmas,

so I wanted this to be special.

You know, with stockings hung by the chimney,

You know, with stockings hung by the chimney,

and presents under the tree,

and family and friends.

and family and friends.

I've never even had a real friend.

I've never even had a real friend.

But when I met you,

I thought that maybe...

I thought that maybe...

It's stupid.

No, it's not stupid.

No, it's not stupid.

I'm just being a Grinch.

I needed a friend, too.

I never expected...

this, exactly, but...

this, exactly, but...

it's growing on me.

And not totally in a fungal way.

[laughing]

[laughing]

I should've just hung my stocking

I should've just hung my stocking

from the stupid TV.

It really is a great stocking.

Mom made it.

She rocked Christmas.

Every year,

she got my dad these insanely hideous sweaters.

Itchy, disgusting ones.

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

I got my dad one this year,

for old times sake.

It's so gross.

It's so gross.

It's under the tree right now.

She loved Christmas so much.

She loved Christmas so much.

It hasn't the same without her.

Maybe not the same.

But it doesn't mean it can't be good.

But it doesn't mean it can't be good.

You're right.

It's Christmas,

anything's possible!

anything's possible!

Especially with a friend who's got your back.

I feel a heartfelt hug coming on.

I feel a heartfelt hug coming on.

And right back to full Barkley.

Oh, you know you love it.

Hey!

[screaming]

[screaming]

[wincing]

You can hear us?

[quietly] Elf ears.

Upside, super-sensitive.

Upside, super-sensitive.

Downside, impossible to find earmuffs,

and headphones.

The elf, he's talking to us.

I'm really sorry

I'm really sorry

about the whole shrink-ray-snafu.

Totally my bad.

I'm a tech guy.

I usually work behind the scenes.

I usually work behind the scenes.

I've never even been up this late on Christmas Eve.

We are so doomed.

We are so doomed.

But I am gonna Christmas-up, and save the day.

We are going to your house to find my unshrinking goggles.

We are going to your house to find my unshrinking goggles.

Ah! Easy with the grip there, fella!

Blech! Sweaty-hat-head!

Blech! Sweaty-hat-head!

Dude needs some serious conditioner.

Yeah, but have you felt this elf skin?

So smooth.

Like a baby.

Stop moving!

What, are you Irish dancing in there?

You're making me itch.

Again, conditioner.

Again, conditioner.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

[yelps in fright]

How could you possibly have gotten here so fast?

You're like a granny ninja!

You're like a granny ninja!

See, Tinselpaws?

I'm not crazy!

I caught the elf!

Now, where is my grandson's toy?

Now, where is my grandson's toy?

Toy?

Um...

Um...

Look!

A flying reindeer!

-Huh? -See ya!

Stop!

Stop!

Kids!

Run for the house!

I'll distract her!

[yelps]

[growling and fuming]

[gasping for air]

[gasping for air]

We should do something.

He's a big boy.

Big enough to not be eaten by owls.

Big enough to not be eaten by owls.

[owl hoots overhead]

Unlike us!

[screaming]

[screaming]

There you are, toy thieves!

She really is a granny ninja.

[moaning in terror] Okay, uh...

[moaning in terror] Okay, uh...

I thought you elves

were supposed to give presents,

not steal them.

That copter was a special surprise

for my grandson.

I need it!

Well, hopefully you got a gift receipt?

[cell phone rings]

[cell phone rings]

Timmy!

Timmy!

Are you near the house?

I had to take care of a few tiny things.

I had to take care of a few tiny things.

Closing the airport?

For a little snow?

But what about the food,

But what about the food,

the presents?

A blizzard.

I see.

Well...

maybe we'll see each other in the New Year.

Or in the summer,

Or in the summer,

when the kids are off school.

Love you.

Hug my grandbabies for me.

Well,

I guess I won't be needing that copter after all.

I guess I won't be needing that copter after all.

She's gonna be all alone.

She's gonna be all alone.

On Christmas.

Come on, cuz.

We got a mountain to climb.

We got a mountain to climb.

[♪♪♪]

Let's Christmas!

Like a boss.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

So cold.

I can't feel my eyeballs.

We're so close.

We're so close.

Nothing is gonna stand between us and that window.

[toy elf laughs menacingly]

[toy elf laughs menacingly]

[spooky, low frequency playback] Yay Christmas!

[screams]

Sweet! Body-sledding!

Sweet! Body-sledding!

Whee!

[crashing below]

Let's do that again!

[Emma groans] We cannot be related.

[Emma groans] We cannot be related.

Tell me again

Tell me again

why we had to use the back window?

I don't like the way

that elf eyeballs me, okay?

that elf eyeballs me, okay?

Point is, we're home.

But not home free.

Ten and a half minutes left!

Ten and a half minutes left!

We need to find those goggles.

They had flashing lights on them..

look for those.

This should help.

This should help.

[grunts with effort]

How'd you do that?

Atomic elbow-dropped the power strip.

Atomic elbow-dropped the power strip.

Look.

Yes.

From down here,

From down here,

this village looks really creepy.

This place is gonna give me nightmares.

And I love nightmares.

You're such a goof.

You're her favorite aunt,

You're her favorite aunt,

I thought maybe

she might be trying to head back home for Christmas.

Yes, I've searched everywhere.

Yes, I've searched everywhere.

I'll call you back.

I'll call you back.

All right, all we've gotta do

is climb up the base of the tree

and crawl out onto one of the branches.

and crawl out onto one of the branches.

[power surges on]

[train horn tooting]

Not me.

Not me.

For once.

Emma?

Barkley?

Barkley?

Dad!

Come on,

we can't go back.

It's now or never!

It's now or never!

It's just like a videogame.

An extremely dangerous videogame,

An extremely dangerous videogame,

where your only get one precious, fragile life,

and no savesies.

That's your pep-talk?

Yeah, it could really use a little bit more pep.

I'll work on it.

For next time.

For next time.

As if there'll be a next time--

Still not helping.

[grunting with effort]

You call it.

Now!

Now!

What are you doing?

I thought there was gonna to be a countdown.

Why?

There's always a countdown!

There's always a countdown!

I can do this.

Just going on instinct.

No!

[train bells clanging]

I'm alive.

I'm alive.

I'm alive,

and I don't know how!

You're also going the wrong way!

Open your eyes!

Whoops! My bad.

Whoops! My bad.

[train horn blaring]

[train horn blaring]

[wincing] Ah, I can't watch.

I'm stuck!

Take your shoe off!

Take your shoe off!

Darn you, discount pleather.

[horn blaring]

This is gonna leave a mark.

This is gonna leave a mark.

[horn blaring]

[horn blaring]

Did I do that...

Did I do that...

with my mind?

No, I did it.

With my hand.

I just realized this thing was a train switch

I just realized this thing was a train switch

Oh.

Tiny-peeps?

Tiny-peeps?

Are you in there?

Let me guess,

another Elf-o-gram.

Let's Christmas.

Like a boss.

Like a boss.

The kids are in here.

The kids?

My kids?

Where?

Where?

What are we gonna do when we reach the goggles?

I mean, our tiny fingers can't work the buttons.

I mean, our tiny fingers can't work the buttons.

You're right.

We need to signal my dad.

But... how?

But... how?

[ornament clattering]

[shatters]

It's them.

They're in the tree!

The goggles!

[groans, yelping]

[screams]

[screams]

[groaning]

I'm slipping.

I think I can reach you.

All you gotta do is grab my hand.

All you gotta do is grab my hand.

But your stocking!

It could be lost forever.

Barkley...

it's okay.

Is there going to be a countdown--

Now!

Wow.

I can't believe that worked.

I can't believe that worked.

I've got a really crazy idea.

The ugly Christmas sweater?

The ugly Christmas sweater?

I mean, this is crazy, even for me.

I knew you'd dig it.

It's been an honor Christmassing with you.

It's been an honor Christmassing with you.

[screaming]

Saved by the sweater.

Aw, it itches so bad!

Aw, it itches so bad!

Oh, scratch my face, scratch my face!

[screaming]

Girls?

Girls?

How is this possible?

Are you all right?

Dad!

40 seconds!

We need to hurry!

Back up!

Dawn is coming!

Dawn is coming!

I can't watch!

Neither can I!

The sun!

It's Christmas morning, we're out of time!

It's Christmas morning, we're out of time!

[laser zapping]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I feel taller.

I feel taller.

Hey, could you give me another zap?

You know, give the old basketball career

a little boost?

a little boost?

No problem!

Whoa!

Stop while you're ahead.

[sighing in relief]

If anything had happened to the two of you--

If anything had happened to the two of you--

It's my fault.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I've been a total Emma-neezer Scrooge.

I've been a total Emma-neezer Scrooge.

I shouldn't have made you move here.

Dad, it's just...

different.

different.

But different can be good.

Different can be awesome.

You know, there are actually gifts

under here, too.

You might need a magnifying glass

You might need a magnifying glass

and tweezers to open them.

I could zap them.

[together]: No!

Whoa.

Okay then.

Okay then.

I guess it's yell-at-the-elf-day.

Wait.

The sun is up.

Why do the goggles still have power?

Why do the goggles still have power?

[clatter of hooves on the roof]

[incoming call chimes, "Jingle Bells" tune]

Chill!

Chill!

I let you down.

Christmas Eve is over.

Not everywhere.

Hawaii, for example.

Hawaii, for example.

We still have a few hours on the clock.

You invented this stuff.

How do you not know that?

I've never field-tested,

I've never field-tested,

We're on the roof.

Get up here!

We've got a ton of toys to deliver to Maui.

And you are piloting the sled.

And you are piloting the sled.

Me?

For reals?

For reals?

Sled pilot?

It was gonna be a surprise.

For all the work you've done over the years.

For all the work you've done over the years.

We all bought crash helmets.

[laughs in delight]

I'll be right there!

Ah, we did it, boys.

Ah, we did it, boys.

[voice breaking] I love the holidays.

[voice breaking] I love the holidays.

Oh, hey,

let's just, uh...

keep this on the down-low,

keep this on the down-low,

okay?

What happens on Christmas

stays on Christmas.

Aloha.

[thuds, groaning]

[groans] Christmas remains hard!

He really needs to learn how to use the door.

He really needs to learn how to use the door.

Mm-hmm.

Should we open some presents?

[doorbell rings]

[gasps] Giant elves!

Tinselpaws, attack!

Tinselpaws, attack!

Wait! We come in peace!

I'm your new neighbor,

I'm your new neighbor,

from across the street?

We were wondering

if you might want to come over

and be part of our Christmas tradition?

and be part of our Christmas tradition?

You can bring your psychic cat.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Ah, a microscope.

Maybe now I can find our couch.

Maybe now I can find our couch.

[laughing]

Oh.

Hey, this one's for us.

"From Elfonso.

"It was stuck to my shoe when I left,

figured it was worth unshrinking."

figured it was worth unshrinking."

I think there's something underneath.

I think there's something underneath.

Oh.

[gasping]

Our walkies!

Our walkies!

And something for you.

What?

Maybe I'll open it.

Maybe I'll open it.

[chuckles]

Oh, my...

[chuckles]

[gasping in awe]

They're...

...glorious!

[sighing in delight] Oh..!

[sighing in delight] Oh..!

Tinselpaws...

[cooing fondly] It's your color...

Yes, indeed.

Yes, indeed.

We should take a picture.

[shutter clicking]

[all together]: Merry Christmas!

[all together]: Merry Christmas!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]