Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- Watch your step, Nora. - Guys, I'm scared I'm gonna fall.

Is this really necessary? - I don't think so.

- But George does Mom

and he planned this whole anniversary surprise for you.

Okay... last step. - Here you go.

- You did use clean socks for the blindfold, right?

- Uh... Yeah. - No peeking, Nora!

- Eee! - Ow!

- I'm sorry! Look, guys, it's just our second anniversary.

It's no big deal. - So I just lost a toe for nothing?

- Now, sit down

‘cuz Daddy has a special present for you.

- Oh, I know George loves me

and I don't need a present to prove it.

- Oh, really? Um, so I guess

you don't want to go to, ah... ♪♪

Mexico! - We're going to Mexico?

- Better! We are going to bring

Mexico to you

with a special family fiesta

right here at home!

- Wow! What fun!

I didn't know you knew how to cook Mexican food.

- I don't! Listos Muchachos!

- [Both]: Olé!

- Oh my.

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married, that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school... A new house... ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora ♪

♪ Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

- Merging two families is a major decision,

especially when there's a Derek in one of those families.

But, in the end, love must prevail.

Even if there are some... minor objections.

- Derek, that was for everyone!

- Sorry! I guess you'll just have to wait for Dad's Mexican fiasco.

- You mean 'fiesta'. [Broken dishes]

- No. Fiasco.

- Everything's fine, everything's fine!

No use crying over spilled chimichangas.

- You know what? Maybe I should go help him.

- Sit down, Nora. - Yes, Mom. It is your anniversary...

...you should just relax. - I thought that was Mother's Day.

- And Nora's birthday. - Three days of doing what you want? Pretty sweet.

- Oh, almost as sweet as doing what you want year-round!

- Don't you two think you owe it to us

not to fight today, of all days?

Especially after... ‘Operation Dis-engagement'.

- You said you'd never mention that!

- Yeah, ancient history. Come on, moving on.

Hey, Dad! Dinner! Mmmm! Hungry!

- Well, as it is my anniversary,

I'd love to reminisce about the day that Casey and Derek met.

- [Both]: Mom!/Nora! - The greatest story never told. - Why haven't we ever

heard this story? - No reason. I'll go help George.

- Yeah. - Sit down, Casey.

- Yeah! I wanna hear the greatest story never told!

- Oh, but I have a better story!

Ah, the last time Edwin had Mexican food. Ooh hoo!

- Alright, I'll tell the story!

It all started 2 years and 4 months ago

when George proposed to my Mom and she said... maybe.

- Casey! - What?

- Casey. - Mom! You told me we had a dentist appointment

and then drove me 2 hours to London for a tour of some school

I have no intention of attending. Not to mention you forgot a change of clothes!

- Oh, come on! No one's gonna notice. - Nice kilt.

- Whatever! I don't care what people here think of me because there is no way

I am moving to London and you can't make me!

- Please, Casey. Just keep an open mind.

- Mom, you're not gonna marry George.

Otherwise when he proposed you wouldn't have said 'maybe'. Can't the man take a hint?

- Yes, the man can take a hint and I said 'maybe' because I 'definitely' wanted to make sure

that you and Lizzie could handle moving here.

- Mom, we've talked about this. I can handle it.

I'm just not doing it. - Look, Casey.

Casey! Derek has been kind enough to volunteer

to give you a tour of the school.

- The least you could do is meet him.

- Well, I've met Marti and she's great and I've met Edwin and he's...

something. And I've tried to meet Derek,

but every time, something comes up: he's away,

he's sick, he's away and sick. Obviously Derek is avoiding me!

- Well, he's definitely not avoiding you now because he's meeting you here at eleven.

Look, Casey, please...

do this for me?

- Please, Derek, don't blow this for me.

- Dad, what is the big deal

about meeting this Casey character?

Nora said 'maybe' to your proposal. Can't you take a hint?

- Casey's feelings are an important factor in Nora's decision.

I mean, would it kill you just to give her

a tour of the school? - Yeah! But for 20 bucks it'll kill me a lot less.

- Um, one condition.

When you give Casey the tour,

can you be a little nicer than usual? - For 20 bucks?

I won't be me at all.

- So, I'm Derek and you must be Casey from Toronto?

Oh, I have cousins there!

- Oh, George never mentioned that. - Oh you mean Derek's dad.

- Yeah. Um... thanks for the tour.

I'm sure you probably have better things to do.

- Nah, I don't. Derek does, though.

- Does Derek always speak of himself in the third person?

- I don't know

if Derek knows what the third person means. I know I don't.

- Derek's a pretty funny guy.

- Yeah, Derek's funny. Ralph's funnier.

- Can you believe he did that? - I can't believe you bought it.

- I can't believe we're still talking about this!

- Nora, you're gonna love this salad!

It is made with 5 kinds of beans.

- Ah! - Which means 5 times the gas!

- I would love to stay and smell the gases,

take a little trip down memory lane but, ah,

got a sock drawer to organize. So...

- Oooh, I'll help! - No, you're both gonna sit down and enjoy this fiasco.

I mean, fiesta. Because

I'm about to give Nora

part two of her anniversary present!

- Oh, a gift certificate!

For a lube, oil

and filter service on my car.

How... practical.

- Lube, oil and filter?

Nice.

- And they say romance is dead.

- Mm. - Oh, not at all.

But wait till you hear the rest of the story.

Come on, Casey. Tell us what happened next.

- Fine. So I thought I was having lunch with Derek...

- This is really great, isn't it? - Yeah, our school

has the best 'taters in Ontario. - No, I meant

you and I having lunch together. To be honest I was really

nervous to meet you. Were you... nervous?

- Ah, not until I saw you. And then I almost threw up.

No, in a good way. In a good way.

- Ah, how sweet!

So, ah, how do you get along with your brother and sister?

- Oh, oh! You must mean, um,

my sister Edwina and my brother Martin.

- No!

- You really are a jokester. - Sure I am.

But, look, enough about me...

Let's talk about you. Um, do you have a boyfriend in Toronto?

- Actually, I go to an all-girls school

so it's kinda hard to meet guys.

- Well, if you ever move to London maybe you and I could... um...

- Derek, could I talk to you... alone?

- Actually, we were enjoying

a really lovely lunch together, right Casey?

- Right Derek. I'm sorry, we haven't met. - And I'm okay with that.

- Don't be rude to Casey, Ralph. - Yeah, Ralph!

Maybe you could learn some manners from Derek.

- Yeah, maybe you could learn to take a hint.

- Excuse me? - You're excused. Here's 5 bucks.

Why don't you go check out the caf's apple cobbler.

I hear it's made with 'taters. - While I'm gone,

maybe you could teach your friend some manners!

- Dude, I think she likes me.

- Yeah, you think she likes Derek!

The guy who could possibly be her stepbrother.

Wait for it,

it'll come to you.

- Ew!

- There ya' go, buddy.

- It was nice to meet you.

Oh, hey! How'd it go?

- Of all the rude, arrogant,

insensitive people I have ever met!

- Look, Casey, please! Don't judge Derek based on one meeting.

- I'm talking about Ralph! Derek's a great guy.

Very kind and decent. - He is?

I... I mean he is! Oh!

- Mom, are you okay?

- I'm just so glad the 2 of you got along.

And maybe if dinner goes well... You might be more open

to the idea of moving to London? - Maybe.

- Oh! Did you hear that everyone?

She said maybe!

- Oh, Mom, get... off of me.

Control yourself, Mother.

- So, tell us about the dinner.

- Well, Marti, it started out as burritos

turned into enchiladas

transformed into chimichangas

and now it's a, ah... - Brown stuff?

- No, no! It's a... it's a smorgasbord!

- Ah, smorgasbords are Swedish. - Then it's a special Swedish/Mexican

fiesta. It's a Smorgasbordiesta! - Ew!

- And it tastes way better than it looks!

- It would have to. - Well, it looks awfully...

uh... filling. But, ah,

before we actually eat it, maybe we should let it cool down?

‘cause I know Casey's dying

to finish the story. - No I'm not!

- Would you rather eat the brown stuff? - Okay, so where was I?

- Uh hum...

- Ah. What do you want? - Well...

...a one-day school week and my own modeling agency.

- Go away, Ralph.

I'm expecting people.

- Yeah, your people are running late,

probably cuz George got a ticket.

- You know George? - Ah, yeah.

He's my Dad.

- Your Dad? How is that possible unless you're Der--

DER-REK! How could you?

- I do funny stuff like that all the time.

But from what I've seen, you have zero sense of humour.

- Well, the idea of moving in with your family is a joke!

I love living with my Mom and sister,

I love Toronto and I love my school!

- You love school? Figures.

Trust me, I don't like the concept of this merger any more than you do.

- Well, your opinion doesn't matter. My Mom wants me to be on board with her decision

and you're turning my ‘just maybe' into a most definite ‘no'!

- Well, then we're on the same side.

- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about...

Operation Dis-engagement.

- You know,

maybe we can get along after all.

- You teamed up with Derek to stop Mom from marrying George?

- Hm. - So what happened next?

- Please, can't I just enjoy my Mexi-mush in peace?

- What's wrong, Derek? Don't like to reminisce,

or ashamed of your behavior?

- Don't you mean our behavior?

- Okay, this is how operation dis-engagement's going to play out.

- You can't tell me what to do! - I could if you stop talking.

- I will do what I think is best, thank you very much!

Thank you very much. - Just tell your Mom ‘no.'

- My Mom won't take no for an answer!

- That's because you have no power in your family.

In my house, I'm the alpha dog

and when I bark, my Dad listens.

- Oh, so you think I should just bark to get my way? Never!

- Then you're never going to get your way! So start barking, or start packing!

- Okay, you know what? I'm outta here.

- Casey, wait! - What?

- ‘Kay, we can't stand each other, right? - Right.

- And living under the same roof would be a nightmare, right? - Right.

- So instead of telling them that we won't get along,

we show them!

- You know,

that idea may just be dumb enough to work.

- Yeah, well, most of my ideas are.

- Oh, don't look at me like that! Derek did it too!

- ‘Kay, Nora... [Rumbling]

...wait'll ya see present number three!

- Oh, George! I love it!

Oh, this totally makes up for your Smorgasbordiesta!

Ah, look at you guys

all here like that.

Edwin! Why is your finger in your nose?

- I'm just scratching the outside!

- No, in the picture. - What?

- Oh, Edwin! Gross!

- Edwin! - But I didn't!

Look, you can see both my hands! That's not my finger!

- Who else would stick their finger in your nose?

- You actually think I would stick my finger

in Edwin's nose to ruin a picture?

- [All]: Yes! - Don't... don't worry, I...

...I'll have Derek's finger removed.

- What? - Oh, that's okay, guys.

The important thing is that we're all here together. Hm?

Casey, please, continue the story

because I'm really enjoying it. Please?

- Okay. - Where are they?

Can you chew with your mouth closed? - I don't know. Never tried.

- So, um, what do you do in your spare time?

- Eat, play hockey, watch TV, chase girls.

- That's it? - No, sometimes I eat while I watch hockey on TV with a girl.

- How you doin'?

Um, bun. - Please, no more chewing.

So, tell me about your brother and sister.

What do they think about George proposing to my Mom?

- Well, Marti's too young to have an opinion and, uh,

Edwin does whatever I say, so he's against it.

- Well, Lizzie said there's no way she's moving.

- That's not true! I wanted to move!

- Yeah! And I wanted new sisters to help me deal with you!

- And I wanted Daddy to marry Nora.

And not just cuz she brought me a stuffed monkey when we met!

- Casey, Mom kept you and Derek away from each other

for as long as possible because they knew you'd never get along! - No I didn't.

- Like... like... Swedish and Mexican food!

- So Derek wasn't avoiding me? You kept us apart for months!

- We were waiting for the right moment and, as it turns out,

there wasn't one. But please finish your story.

- No! I can't believe you did that!

Derek can tell it. - Yeah, tell us!

- Fine. But this counts as your present. So...

...I threw all of Edwin's clothes out the window.

- Guess you had to be there.

- Ah, please. Goody-goody like you wouldn't know a funny prank

if a pie hit you in the face. - Hey, I love a good prank!

Oh, once, Lizzie was having trouble with remainders

so I gave her a remainder-reminder note to take to math class,

but her teacher found it and thought that

she was trying to cheat. - You have no idea what a prank is.

- Oh yeah, well you have no idea what a remainder is!

What's so funny? - Just how ridiculous the idea

that we could possibly live in the same house is.

- Yeah, I know!

- Looks like our plan worked!

- Huh? Plan?

- Okay, we were late for dinner on purpose

so you'd have more time to get to know each other

and get used to the idea of living together.

- But it looks we worried for nothing. - No, no, no.

You were worried for something! ‘cause we can't stand each other, alright?

We are like cats and dogs, day and night,

toothpaste and orange juice. I...

...I'm running out of opposites. Help me out?

- Ah, Derek I need to talk to you.

We need a new plan. Operation Dis-engagement is just too mean.

- Fine. Then get ready to move to London with me.

Me!

- Actually that can be our new plan!

You guys could move to Toronto. - Ah, my Dad works in London!

- So? Why is your Dad's job more important than my Mom's?

- Ha ha! My Dad's a lawyer

and your Mom's a window washer!

- She is not a window washer!

She's a... a...

- What do you do again? - Uh, window treatments.

- Window treatments! And don't insult my Mother!

- I wasn't insulting your Mother, I was insulting you!

- Derek you are just so completely--

- Impossible? I know, I'm kinda proud of it! Right Dad?

- Derek! - Alright, you know what? That does it.

Mom, our plan was to show you

that we couldn't get along so you wouldn't get married,

but we can't even get along long enough to go through with that plan.

So, I'm really sorry, but this just isn't going to work.

- Uh, yeah. What she said. - C'mon guys!

Don't be hasty!

- Ah, you know what, George? Maybe Casey's right.

- But Nora, you just have to learn to ignore Casey...

...like I ignore Derek! - No, I... I can't ignore Casey.

It's wrong. - Mm hm.

- And besides she won't let me. - What are you saying?

- I'm saying that, um...

maybe this is just too much, too soon.

You know, maybe in a year or two? But, um,

right now

my answer to your proposal has to be no.

- Oh. - Guess that's a no to dessert?

- You made Mom give back the ring?

- You broke up Dad and Nora!

- This is the saddest story never told!

- And that's why I didn't want to tell the story in the first place!

- Yeah, and the reason I didn't want tell the story is cuz of all the lovey-dovey stuff

that happens next. - You should really try this.

- It's gonna to be so hard to be without you.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

- You know what?

You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.

- And this cake's the best thing that ever happened to me.

- Anyway, come on, I'll give you two a ride back to the hotel.

- Wait! Derek, can I talk to you...

again. - Mmmm.

- Derek, look at them.

They're in love! Who are we to stand in the way of their happiness?!

- I don't know who you are, but I'm Derek!

- Well, Derek, I want my Mom to be happy.

So if you won't help then I'll just have to go this alone.

George Venturi...

- Uh... here?

- You‘re a sweet and kind man

and you have good hair. And I know you're nice to my Mom

and that it's not your fault that you have an extremely

rude son and that living with him will make me miserable.

- Casey, what are you saying?

- I'm saying...

- George,

will you marry my Mom?

- I don't know what to say.

But maybe Derek does, hm?

- Oh! For the love of Peter!

Nora... as, uh,

crazy as it is that someone as great as you would

fall for someone like my Dad.

It's, ah,

it's crazier for me to stand in your way.

So, yeah,

my Dad'll marry you. - He will?

- Will I ever!

- Ah,

can I have the ring back?

- Ahhhh!

[Applause]

- Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

- You proposed for Mom?

- You accepted for Dad?

- You saved the family!

- In a way we did. - Don't remind me.

- Oh, I will never forget it.

- Just like you will never forget this anniversary

because, Nora,

actually this whole night? It's been a joke.

- The Mexican food, the, ah, oil change certificate

and the, ah, family photo that I had doctored...

- So it looked like Derek had stuck his finger in Edwin's nose.

- See, this finger picks one nose!

- Ah, Georgie, I was trying so hard not to be upset.

- Good one, Dad!

- But your non-joke gift is that this winter

we are definitely hitting a resort in Mexico.

- Yeah. - Alright!

- George! - Musica! Musica!

♪♪ - I meant just us.

- Ah, you wanna tell ‘em?

[Farts] - Everybody dance!

- Olé!

C'mon everyone!

♪♪

♪♪

Closed captioning by SETTE inc.

- Cool down before actually eat it. [Laughter]

- Wa wa wa wa wa wa.

- I would like to sp...

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

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