Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- So, I finally heard back from the universities I applied to.

- Oh? And? - I got in!

- Ah, Sally! Wait, to which ones?

- All of them! - Ah, beauty and brains!

I'm a lucky guy. So, which campus am I going to be driving to on weekends?

Am I going across town to Western

or a couple of hours to TDot? - Actually,

I'm choosing UBC. Vancouver, here I come!

Isn't that cool? - Vancouver? - Yep.

- It's going to take me all week to drive there on weekends.

- I know, but B.C. has the mountains and the islands

and the university has a great arts program.

- Okay, well, then I'll just move out west

and snowboard at Whistler while you hit the books.

- Derek, you have to finish grade 12.

- Okay, then I'll transfer to a high school out West

and I'll have a sweet loft in Van-Groovy.

- C'mon, you can't do that.

- Then go to a university here.

- But I want to go to UBC. I've never been out West.

I've never been west of Ontario. I've never even been on a plane!

This is a huge opportunity!

You understand, right?

- Totally.

Well, it's been nice dating you. Good luck out West.

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married, that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school... A new house... ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora ♪

♪ Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

- When relationships end, sensitive people feel the pain.

Insensitive people try and deny feeling anything at all.

The question is, if you ARE a pain,

do you still feel pain?

- Woof, woof, woof, woof.

- Marti, I thought the doggy phase was over.

- Woof, woof, woof, woof.

- George, role-playing is good for a little girl's imagination.

Here's your dinner doggy, Marti.

- So, Derek, where's Sally? She always comes to dinner on Sundays.

- Yeah, I bathed just for her. - Woof! Woof! Woof!

- Maybe it's because she doesn't like dogs. Or maybe because

we broke up last night. Can you pass the salt because

this meatloaf has no taste. - You broke up? How could you do that to me!

- I mean, her. - Yeah, Derek, what did you do?

- Nothing. And next time a little less loaf

and a lot more meat. - Derek.

- Hey! Salt, please. - Derek, I'm really sorry

you guys broke up, but it's not the meatloaf's fault.

- Yeah, we really liked Sally. - We liked Sally a lot.

- Yeah, more than we like you!

Well, it's true.

- Hey, Derek.

Yeah, that was some bomb you dropped at dinner. I thought Sally was like

the love of your life, or something. Wanna talk about it?

Come on, it can't be that bad.

It is that bad? Well then turn on the old Derek charm,

or try that whole, like, fake humble apology thing.

Oh, I get it.

You're waiting for her to call.

Yeah, good strategy.

[Cricket stridulation]

- Derek. I'm sitting on your bed.

Aren't you gonna yell at me?

- Hey, Casey, I don't know how to tell you this, but I was just in Derek's room

and he didn't kick me out, even when I sat on his bed!

- Ahem.

- Right, um. - Ahum! - Listen, I think he's really

hurting about this breakup, okay? Even more than I am!

- He doesn't seem upset to me. He hasn't locked himself in the bathroom,

hasn't spent hours crying on the phone to his best friend,

hasn't started gorging on chocolate.

- Casey, that's what you do when you're upset.

- Okay, so then, what does Derek do? - I don't know.

But, I don't know that he's ever been upset before. He's never liked someone as much as Sally.

- So then it's only natural he'd be a little upset, but why does that upset you?

- Because whenever Derek suffers, we suffer.

It's only a matter of time.

So could you please look into this?

- Okay!

I will, as long as you stop making me suffer.

Now get out! - Nice try, but you're no Derek.

- Ahh! So, ah, what'd you do to get dumped?

- Ah, who said I got dumped?

- Well, I assume you're acting all “chillz” 'cuz your ego's bruised.

- Actually, I was the dumper not the dumpee.

- Oh, no, it's worse than I thought!

- What are you talking about? - Well, you've just asked him a question

and he answered without insulting you!

- And that's bad, why? - 'Cuz it means he's really hurting.

- But Edwin, Derek claims he did the breaking up.

- Well, then don't you wonder why he's so upset?

Don't you want to get to the bottom of this?

- I'm sorry Edwin, but this is none of my business.

- Why? That hasn't stopped you before, Casey!

- Hey.

- Oh! Hi, Edwin. Ah, what's up?

- Teenage stuff. You wouldn't understand. What's up with you?

- Little girl stuff, you wouldn't understand.

- Ah.

Okay.

[Whistling]

- Sam! Hey! Um...

not that it's any of my business, but how do you think Derek's handling all this?

- Handling all what? - The breakup.

- What breakup? - He didn't tell you?

- Tell me what? - He broke up with Sally.

Didn't you talk to him yesterday?

- Yeah. But about the Leafs' game.

- He just talked about hockey?

Then maybe he isn't messed up about Sally.

- Actually he took the overtime loss really hard.

I think he is messed up about Sally!

I'll have to talk to him.

- Okay, I so don't understand guys.

- Dude, just so you know,

if you need me, I'm... I'm here for you.

- Yeah, I can see that. - So, you're sure you're okay with this?

- Ah, yeah, you know how I feel about cutlets.

- I was talking about Sally.

- Mm! A little step-sister gossip, huh?

- Casey might have said something, but out of concern.

- Well, I broke up with Sally, so why would I not be fine?

- Because you like Sally? Quite a lot? - I quite used to, now I don't.

Time to move on. - How many girls are in this room right now?

- I don't know. - Exactly!

If you really were over Sally you would have already scoped the caf for girls,

categorized them into “yes, no and maybe” without even thinking. Dude, just admit it.

You're messed up! - Dude, I'm fine

and if I don't seem fine it's because

I can't believe that the Leafs didn't beat the Canucks on Sunday! I mean...

I hate Vancouver!

- You okay? - Yeah, I'm just a little sad about the breakup.

- I thought we already went over that breakup with Max thing.

Extensively.

- Not my breakup. Derek and Sally's.

I really like her and I thought Derek did too.

But he's pretending it's all fine.

- Well, the first time a guy gets his heart broken, it's tough.

Second time is no picnic. Third time's no walk in the park.

Fourth and fifth! - Yeah, okay. Um, but it's his own fault.

Derek did the breaking up! - Sometimes people deny how they feel

because they're not ready to deal with those feelings.

- So Edwin's right... Derek's stifling his feelings.

- Could very well be.

- What are we going to do about Derek?

- Did he pour fruit punch in your fish tank again?

- No. I'm talking about Sally, okay? He's really upset.

- Really? I hadn't noticed. - Me neither.

- See, parents are always the last to know. Here he comes.

Ah, just, watch closely.

- Hello.

- So, ah, how was school?

- Fine.

- Hey, freak show's over.

- Hey, did you see that?

School was 'fine'.

- That is a little surprising. - Yeah! He ate a carrot!

He didn't even touch the chips! - Yeah! The boy ain't right!

- Hello, family. - Everything's normal.

- Hey, hey! You don't want a snack?

- No, thanks. We're going to go outside and play in the backyard.

- Children love fresh air! - What's in the backpack?

- Sweaters. - Children love sweaters!

- Yeah, I don't think any of our kids are right.

- Tell me about it.

Hey!

- Edwin, you may be right about Derek. I think he's in denial.

- Well, finally! - I think you should tell your Dad.

- No, I did that and I got ignored. So we're on our own.

- You're on your own. - Oh, Casey, come on!

He's hurting! If he had broken his arm you wouldn't be saying

“tough bananas”. - To be fair,

I'd never say "tough bananas". Ever.

- Alright, okay. Maybe we could help him if we knew why they broke up.

- Oh, that's an excellent idea

and I say we go straight to the source.

- Derek? - No, silly... Sally.

- You know her number by heart?

- I'm a big fan.

[Knocking] - Occupied.

- Derek, I know why you and Sally broke up.

- No, you don't. - It's because she's going to UBC.

Yeah, I called her, but not because I was snooping!

It's because I'm concerned.

- Oh! So you wouldn't mind if I called Max,

you know, ask him about your breakup because I'm concerned about you.

- Go ahead. I don't mind. - So you don't mind if I, ah,

give him a call, tell him how bummed you've been,

how you said you'd never meet another guy like him,

how you made the biggest mistake of your life?

- You wouldn't!

- No, I wouldn't because it's none of my business but,

for some reason, that rule doesn't apply to you.

- Fine, I get it. But,

like it or not, Edwin and I are actually concerned about how you're feeling.

- Ah, I'm touched. But you and Edwin should butt right out.

- Fine.

[Knocking]

- What is wrong with you that you can't take a--

- Dog?

- Ah, what's that doing in my room?

- Not “that”, he. - He's a boy dog 'cuz he's got a--

- Yeah, yeah! Got it. So where did he come from?

- I found him hiding under the porch of that empty house on my way home from school.

He was hungry and scared.

- So talk to Dad or Nora.

- No! They'll make us take Punkin to the animal shelter!

- Punkin needs us. - Punkin needs a new name.

- You have to help us hide him. Everyone's afraid to come in your room,

especially now that you're upset about the breakup. - Hey, I am not upset.

- Please, Derek. We had a close call last night.

- Lights out, honey. Marti, I thought George put you to bed an hour ago.

- It didn't take.

- Ah! Well, ah, come on honey. [Dog barking]

- Woof, woof, woof!

Don't tell me you're going through a dog phase too?

- No, just making Marti feel okay about her dog phase.

- Woof, woof, woof!

- Yeah, I think she's pretty okay with it. Night honey.

- Oooh! Ooh, baby.

- Look, I'm sorry, but

I'm not a dog sitter, okay? Why don't you talk to your sister?

- No way!

Casey will make us do the right thing. - You never make us do that.

- Please, just keep Punkin in your room until we can figure out what to do?

Please, please, please?

- No! I hate dogs.

Look, they're needy and they're stinky and they're all... licky!

...like Edwin. Hey, why don't you get Edwin?

- Ah, I wouldn't trust Edwin with a dog.

- 'Member what happened to the guppies?

- I'm sorry!

But the dog can't stay.

[Whining]

- For more than one night.

- [Both]: Thanks! - Oh!

But, yeah, he, ah, he sleeps in the closet.

- Oh, 3 words: doggy breath-mint.

Now, can we go back to sleep?

No? Oh!

- You know, there's more blue on the left one than the right one.

- Edwin! - So, what are we going to do about Derek?

I know, I'm persistent. - And annoying.

- Casey, his symptoms are getting worse. Look, before he just wasn't himself.

Now, he's a total weirdo! - Oh, like brother like brother.

- Casey, late last night I was feeling a little peckish...

- Ah, hey! Save some cake for me.

- What? No, it's, ah, it's not cake.

It's health food.

- You don't eat health food. - Yeah, I do now.

I'm on a health kick, you know?

- That smells like dog food.

- Yeah, but, ah, it'll give you a shiny coat.

- Who wakes up in the middle of the night to eat health food?

And this morning, when I knocked on his door to see if he wanted

me to make his lunch, he said he'd make his own.

- Really? - Yeah! And his room smelled

like he'd sprayed it with this lilac-scented deodorant!

- That's where my deodorant is?

Is nothing sacred?

- Well, my theory is that the flowery scent reminds him of Sally.

Okay, the guy is losing it! - Yeah, that is definitely odd.

- 'Kay, and then he put on this old coat of Dad's over his pajamas

and said he was going for a walk. At eight 8am! Like... like he hadn't slept all night

and he needed some fresh air to escape the pain of his feelings.

- Also very odd, but he's never really been normal.

[Whimpering]

- Casey, Derek is whimpering.

- He is losing it!

- That's what I've been trying to tell you! - Shh!

- Derek, pretending you don't care about your breakup is only making it worse.

Hiding in your room. Ignoring nice people who try to talk to you. You need someone

at times like this. Someone who understands your pain and can help you through it.

Reach out, Derek. You'll be glad you did.

- Derek! - Uh, I'm just hiding from Casey and I'm not hiding

anything else, if that's what you're wondering. - Casey! Let me out!

- I'm not leaving until you talk to Paul!

- Look, Casey, you can't force anyone to talk to me!

- Yeah, and you can't lock me in here! - Derek, talk to Paul,

you know you want to! - Fine! I will talk to Paul,

if you go away. - Okay.

- So, do you really want to talk to me?

- Um, actually, yeah.

How do you get rid of fleas?

- Hey there! Don't worry, I shopped.

- Oooh, hey, I shopped too.

- Oh, well, then, we're gonna have a lot of left over food

considering Derek isn't eating as much as usual.

- And doesn't that worry you? - 'Cuz it should!

I tried to get him to talk to Paul about his feelings,

but apparently all he talked about was his fleas.

- Derek talked to Paul? - Derek has fleas?

- [Both]: Hn-nn. - Look, guys, it's sweet

how concerned you are for Derek and we're concerned too, but we just have to be patient.

- Yeah. I mean I've waited 17 years for Derek to deal with his feelings,

what's another day or two? - George! Edwin and I heard Derek whimpering.

- Whimpering?

Oh. I'll maybe go see if he's alright.

- He has no idea what he's up against.

- A wall of denial so thick! - C'mon.

[Growling and laughing]

- Derek, can I talk to you please?

- Ah, hold on.

Ah, if you're starting a barbershop quartet, I'm not interested.

- Derek, come on, let me in. - No, I...!

- Derek!

Is that a mouse? - No, no, no! It's can't be a mouse. It's too big.

It's gotta be a rat! - [All]: AAAH!

- [Both]: Woof! Woof! Woof!

- Lizzie! Marti! We think it might be--

- Wha...? Ah?

- Well, that is one funny looking rat.

- Alright Derek, explain yourself.

- Okay... I was born 17 years ago in London, Ontario and--

- The dog, Derek.

- I don't know when the dog was born.

- Derek!

- Derek only hid Punkin 'cuz I begged him to!

He has no home.

- Don't send him to a shelter!

- Yeah, if he goes, I go! - Me too!

- Girls, the shelter will take

great care of Punkin until they find his real owners.

And if they don't, they'll find him new ones.

- But we want to keep him! - I know, but girls,

someone out there might be really upset at losing Punkin.

- Yeah, and I can help you put up posters around the neighborhood.

- And we can keep him here until someone calls.

- Okay. - No! No, no, no, no

not... not okay!

You should let the girls keep Punkin! Do you have any idea

how much Lizzie and Marti love this dog?

Alright? You can't break two little girls' hearts!

And what about Punkin's feelings? I mean, he's already been rejected once!

He deserves the love that I...

that we, our family, can give him!

He belongs with us, not in Vancouver!

- Um...

yeah, posters. Posters are a good call.

- Well, that was weird.

I always thought Derek hated dogs.

[Knocking]

- Derek, I think Punkin isn't all you're upset about.

So if you're ready to talk about Sally leaving for Vancouver,

I'm listening.

- You know what,

I think I am ready to talk.

But... but not to you.

- Hey. - Here.

- Ah, we need to talk.

- Yeah, we really do.

- Look,

the reason I broke up with you is because

it felt like you were choosing a university over me and

it hurt. - Derek,

I wasn't choosing a university over you, I was just choosing a university.

- Sorry, okay? I told him I was going to UBC

and then he dumped me and... You don't really care, you just want your food.

- Yeah, he does.

Look, Sally,

this is the best relationship I've ever been in.

- So let's enjoy all the time that we've got left.

- Yeah, and then we'll just break up on the way to the airport at the end of August?

Isn't it best to just get it over with now?

- But I want to spend every last minute with you.

- But we're still going to feel lousy at the end of August.

- Well, why face today what we can put off 'til the end of the summer?

- Beauty and brains. I knew I loved you for a reason.

- Did you just say that you loved me?

- Wha? No, no!

- Well, fine. Be in denial. But I love you, too.

- Thank you so much for taking care of Angus.

- Angus? Punkin is a way better name. - Well,

you both can visit any time.

And if we go away on vacation maybe you could take care of him?

- Could we? - Of course! - Ah, thanks!

- Yeah, thanks! And Angus is a nice name, too.

- Bye, Punkin. I mean Angus. Bye, Clara.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Oh...

I am so proud of you two!

- Punkin went home. - Are you sad too?

- No. Well, maybe a little.

- Well, we get to dog-sit him sometimes.

- Oh, well, that's great. Oh, and by the way, ah, Sally's coming for dinner on Sunday.

- Excellent! - Oh! You guys are back together?

- Yeah, for now, I guess.

- Way to go, bro!

- Eh! Ed. Snack. Now.

- Yes! That means the old world order is back!

- I said now. - Yes sir.

Closed captioning by SETTE inc.

- Oh, ah, if you're opening...

[Laughing]

- Look, next time, a little less more lo-la.

- Who gets up--

[Laughing]

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

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