Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- Everyone's going somewhere great this March Break. Except me.

- And me. - Well at least we'll have each other.

- Ooh! Maybe we could start our own little book club!

- Reading on... on March Break?

- Sisters of the White Cave.

Oh, I cannot put it down. It's so magical and moving!

- Sounds fun. But you know what could be even more fun?

A girls' weekend! We could watch movies, do our nails...

- That does sound fun!

Ah, but it'll be tough Considering I share a house with--

- Boys, March Break has arrived

and there will be a party.

- Not ¢a' party, D, ¢the' party.

- Oh, and not just the party, Sam, but the party to end all parties.

- That sounds better than my party. Should we go?

- Ralph, the party is your party.

- I'm throwing the party to end all parties?

- [Both]: Yeah. - I'm the man!

- Ah ha! - He's the man!

- Ralph is throwing

the party to end all parties?

- Ralph's the man? - And after our spa day,

we'll be fully exfoliated for ¢the man's' party.

- I am sorry, Em, but if I'm not going away for March Break,

I at least need a March Break away from Derek.

But, I mean, if you still wanted to go--

- Okay!

- ♪♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married, that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school... A new house... ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora ♪

♪ Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪♪

- Ah, March Break. A refreshing change

from the trials and tribulations of school.

Unless you spend it with Derek. Then it's like flying out of the frying pan

and into the swamp.

- How great is this?

That this great, blended family is just

getting along so great!

- Dad! - Do you know what we need now?

Are some great, blended memories! You guys know what I'm talking about!

- Ah, no, but I think it would be a lot easier to understand you with the TV back on.

- Forget TV. - Dad!

- You know what? We'll just use mine. - Look, look, look, look!

- Since our families blended,

we've never gone on a family vacation, huh?

So how ¢bout we take a little March Break... road trip!

- Road trip? As in driving?

- With seven of us in one car?

- With Derek? - With you driving?

- I call shotgun! - Road trip! Road trip!

- And where will this so-called family fun be happening?

- How ¢bout Quebec City? All that great history and culture

is only a 12-hour car ride away.

- ¢Only' and ¢twelve hours?' In the same sentence?

- Casey and me in the same car for twelve hours?

- Yuck! - Yeah, I'm-I'm more of a

fly to Florida kind of gal. - Huh?

- But a really long road trip

could be a lot of fun. - Oh, great!

- Goodnight, Lizzie. Don't stay up too late packing, honey.

You haven't started packing? Are you sick?

- Um...

Mom, I-I didn't want to hurt George's feelings,

but I don't think I should go.

You see, I have this major algebra mid-term coming up...

- ...and you didn't expect to go away for March Break?

Join the club.

- But you guys go. Have fun without me.

- Ha! I always do.

But there's no way I am leaving

¢Lamey McReadsalot' alone in my house.

If she stays, I stay.

- You can't stay! I need a March Break from you!

- Ooh, fine. Have fun on the road trip.

- No! Staying home was my idea first.

- Yeah, well, I had the idea the second Dad suggested this.

- Yeah, well I had the idea before George suggested this!

- Leaving the two of you alone in this house?

Mm mm-- I don't think so. - Fine!

Derek insists on staying home,

then I'll go-- - Huh, see?

- About my business

and deal with Derek's presence.

- C'mon, guys. Let's hit the road!

Woo hoo!

Oh, this is gonna be fun! Oh!

- I'm still really not happy about this.

- Relax, Nora! I'm sure you'll have

fun on your trip! Somehow.

- I am talking about you and Casey staying home alone. - It's okay, Mom.

I'll be spending most of my time at Emily's. - Yeah, I'll be chilling

at Ralph's. - Yeah and if we see each other around the house,

we'll just ignore each other. - I'm already ignoring you! - You guys can't even open

a bag of chips without fighting! - Oh, that is his fault!

He opened them from the bottom with his teeth! I mean, who does that?

- Nora! Let's go! - Now, I'm only going to tell you once...

- Yeah, we know... No parties and meatloaf's in the fridge

and, oh, water the fergus. - The ficus. - What about the fergus?

- What's a fergus? - What's a ficus?

- One more thing...

- Mom, don't worry.

- Oh! It's too late. Look, if you guys fight

or there's any damage to this house,

you're going to lose your clothing allowance. And you are going to lose

your gas allowance. - Hm?

- Forever! Good luck.

- You too.

- I'm going to miss you, too! - Miss you lots!

- Mm-hm. Have fun. But not too much fun.

- Bye Mom. - Bye.

- You forgot you were going to the Y

People forget about a dentist appointment,

Not the Yucatan! - Dentist appointment! Mmm! - Ralph!

What about the party to end all parties?

Man, you are ruining my March Break!

- Hey, Derek, if it makes you feel any better,

go to my appointment for me. Ha ha!

Have a good break, buddy. - Ralph? For--

About the Yucatan! What about the party? Ralph?

- Emily. - Emily? - Derek?

- Casey!

- Emily.

- Emily? I'm almost finished my book!

I'm at the part where Morwyn, the last sister,

is chained to the Wyvern's tail, down to her last vial of moth blood.

- Casey! - I'm coming over soon with the

pedicure stuff. I bought this huge thing of pumice--

- Casey! Listen!

I called to say that my parents got this really cheap airline ticket?

Well, guess what? I'm going to Aruba!

- Oh! You wanna pack my pumice?

- You're upset.

- No, no, I'm not upset.

Why would I be upset? I'm never upset!

Der-rek! - Ah! Casey!

- Ah, sorry, Em.

- Have an awesome trip in Aruba!

I'll just be here doing Derek's laundry. Bye.

- This'll fix him!

- Sam's going hiking with his Dad! Ralph's off

to the Yucatan, even though he doesn't know where that is!

Sometimes, I think my friends are lamer than you!

- For future reference, don't take clothes out of the dryer

unless they're dry.

- No, you're definitely lamer than my friends.

- And to show you that I don't hold a grudge,

I let your clothes dry and then I folded them.

- My hockey clothes smell like spring!

Casey!

- You having fun yet? [Fart]

- Ah! Edwin, control yourself! - Wasn't me!

- Can we open a window?

- But it's cold. - Edwin!

- George, aren't we looking for Sortie trente-six.

- Uh hm. We sure are. - That means thirty-six and we just passed it!

- Oops. - My tummy hurts. Can we stop?

- Ah, not just yet, honey. [Throwing up]

- How ¢bout now?

- Derek have you seen my book? - What's a book?

- You know, those things you never read?

I can't find Sisters of the White Cave and I have to find out what happens in the end!

- Oh, yeah, I think that Morwyn girl flies off

on a moth. Pretty unoriginal if you ask me.

- You went into my room and took my book?

- I did you a favour. The writing is terrible.

- Where is it, Derek? - I'll tell you...

if you tell me why you perfume bombed my hockey gear.

- I was doing you a favour!

Look, Derek, we told my Mom we could get along and so far we are not.

[Telephone]

- Hello? Mom?

Yeah, we're getting along great!

Yeah! How are things with you?

- Well, everything's good,

ah, except, ah...

Edwin's got an upset stomach from chili popcorn.

And, ah, Marti got car sick

and, uh, barfed all over Lizzie.

Ha ha! And now we're in a motel

in a town so small it doesn't have a name

because George... [Door opening]

- Ooh! Ah, there you guys are!

- ...can't count in French. - Had a little trouble finding room trente-six.

[Laughing]

Isn't that funny? - I'll call you back later.

- Well!

- Oh, Derek.

Derek.

Der-rek! - What?

- I was just wondering...

Is this card valuable?

- You never take a hockey card

out of its plastic!

And you never go into my room without permission!

- Oh! Just like you went into my room without permission?

Let's make a deal: my book for your card.

- I'd never make a deal with you!

- Okay. But I also have another question.

Are hockey cards waterproof?

- Wha...?

- Here's your stupid book! Gimme my card!

Okay, gimme my card. - Not until you give me my book!

- [Both]: Ahh! Derek/Casey!

No!

- Ah, hem, hem! Watch your step.

- What is this? - This is the only way

we're going to get along. My side is pink,

your side is blue and I came up with

this little roundabout so you can still go to the bathroom and I can go downstairs.

- Cute.

- What about the kitchen?

- Neutral. Just stick to your side of the house

and we'll get along just fine.

Derek, stay on your side!

- Poo-teen?

- It's a Quebec thing: french fries and gravy.

- Yeah, with the great taste of cheese curd. - ¢Kay, gang.

Let's get ready for bed! We still have a few hours of driving left to do tomorrow.

- Plus a few more hours after you miss the turnoff and get lost.

- I didn't get lost! I was... confused.

Nora! Tell him.

- Yeah, your father's confused.

Ah, why don't the girls sleep in one bed

and the guys sleep in the other? - Dad snores!

- And Edwin passes gas.

- Here Liz--

- Ah!

Let me get this straight. I got to sleep in a bed

with Mom, Marti and the poutine. Or in the other bed with Snorey and Gassy.

- Morwyn raced to the brink of the precipice and peered over.

She was all alone now, confident in her new powers, yet still afraid.

The future of her people rested on her shoulders

and as the enemy approached over the horizon she...

- What the?

Where's the... The last page is... Derek!

[Loud music]

Okay, Derek, you can stop now.

- What are you doing?

I'm on my side of the house. - Where is the last page?

- Number one, I have no idea what you're talking about.

And, number two, you are on my side of the house.

Okay. That was the line

and you literally just crossed it.

- No you crossed the line when you stole the ending of my book!

So guess what?

Things are about to get ugly.

- Bring it.

- I'm watching you. Yeah.

- Oh, come on, guys! Let's, let's look on the bright side, huh?

I mean, things didn't turn out like we expected,

but we're still having fun, right?

- Uh? - TV with no cable.

- A broken snack machine? - Two single beds?

- Yeah, but just think of all the funny stories

that we're going to tell!

- Daddy? - Huh?

- If you're done looking on the bright side, can you turn out the lights?

- Hold on, Smarti. It's just getting to the good part!

- Edwin... - That's enough. Nora.

- Ah, man! - Okay, good night everybody!

- Good night, everyone!

- [All]: Good night. [Fart]

- Edwin, did you... - Ahhh!

[Screaming]

- Not bad.

- No food? Not even like the...

Leftover meatloaf?

Whoa.

[Telephone]

- Hello.

- Hungry are we?

- Ha! You got me with the empty fridge,

but that's the last time you're going to get me. - Oh, I'm not so sure...

...considering you answered the phone.

Ah, Po' Dewek!

Not getting what he wants, is he?

- Whatever. I'm done with this!

Just stay out of here between 11 and 2 a.m.

¢cause I'm going to be watching hockey live from the West Coast.

- Then just give me the last page of my book!

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- You know, it's gonna be pretty tough watching the TV while I'm... flipping.

- Ha! I got my own.

- Ha, ha!

- Casey!

- Can we turn over?

- Oh, okay. Ready?

Five, six, seven, eight...

- Hey! - Sorry!

I'm sorry!

- Oh, sorry! - Oh!

- Oh! Oh, honey!

- Hey! - Are you okay?

- What is that sound?

- Dad's snoring. - Nudge him.

- Wha...? Wha...?

Are we having fun yet? - I can't sleep.

- You can't sleep? There are three of us in this bed.

Mom doesn't even have a pillow! - Yeah, but listen!

I mean, what a great family experience, huh?

You know what, maybe I should

capture this moment with a picture?

- George, did I say anything

when you sprang the road trip on me, or when you

let Edwin eat the stinkiest popcorn known to man?

No I did not! But if you think

capturing this moment while I am pillowless--

- Honey, honey. It's okay. I mean,

do you want a pillow? Here.

Here's a pillow.

- Ooh. Edwin, are you okay? - You know,

I think I'd be a lot better if I wasn't sitting in poutine.

[Laughing] - Hey! Take that!

- Oh, Nora! You're going to get it now!

[Screaming] [Knock! Knock!]

- Sécurité. Qu'est-ce qui se passe?

- Oooh!

- Some great hockey toni of-

- Casey!

- Thought I'd fall asleep, didn't you?

Well, I can't sleep unless I read before bed.

- Fine. A trade.

Missing page from your book for the remote.

- May I enter? - Yeah.

- I gave you the remote, what else do you want? - Leftover meatloaf.

- Derek! This is the table of contents!

- Still counts as the missing page from your book.

- Want some leftover meatloaf? - Yeah.

- Have some leftover meatloaf.

- Hey! You throw like a girl.

- Oh yeah? - Yeah!

- D-d-don't throw that at me with your pitching arm.

- Oh, oh! Watch out! Derek!

- AH! - Oh!

- Oh! My baby!

- Derek, George gave that to Mom as a wedding present!

- This is bad.

Very, very bad. And... and... and it's your fault.

- My fault? Who knocked the TV over?

- Oh, who's the one throwing meatloaf like a girl?

- Who ripped the last page out of my book? [Telephone]

- Who is calling so late? - Nora?

- Ah! - Oh! - Oooh!

Hey, Mom. You're calling late.

Oh, yeah, yeah. We're,

we're just getting along great.

Just, ah,

just watching a little late night...

...TV.

You're what?

Why?... Okay...

Bye.

- They're coming home... tonight.

- [Both]: Ah!

- Okay, well the room is clean,

but the TV is still broken.

- ¢Kay, I know. We replace it with an exact replica!

- At 3 a.m.?

- Think, think.

What would Morwyn do? - Drink moth's blood?

- No, Derek.

She would believe in herself,

she would know that she had the power within.

- You actually thought that would work?

- Stupid TV, stupid book, stupid meatloaf fight,

stupid me for fighting with stupid Derek. Ahhhh!

Ah! I did it!

- Ha! Yeah, you keep thinking that. - Mm hm.

- Hi guys. Night guys.

- Someone wants to explain what happened here?

- Okay. What happened was--

- What Casey means is... what do you mean?

- My ficus. - Your ficus?

- There's meatloaf in my ficus.

I think you two were fighting!

- Please don't take away our allowances forever. - Shut it.

- You know what, guys? We got kicked out of our motel

for having a pillow fight. I'm in no position to judge.

But on the bright side,

we had a great time.

Ooh. Good night, guys.

- Hockey.

- [All]: Dad! - Look, look, look, look!

I know you were disappointed about cutting our road trip short,

so I have come up with another idea:

Niagara Falls! One of Canada's greatest natural wonders

and only 3h away!

- I'm in! - Well, they do have wax museums... I'm in.

- And haunted houses... I'm in too.

- Well I don't do museums and this house is scary enough...

So, ah, I'm out. - Well, if Derek's out, I'm out.

- I think this family road trip should include the entire family.

- I agree. - So you'll go?

- Of course! But I have some conditions:

3 hotel rooms, no poutine, I drive--

- And gassy takes the bus. - Alright!

Ha, ha, ha. That's what I like to hear!

Okay everybody!

- Ahhh! - Hold on.

- Ha ha! It's a keeper.

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.

♪♪♪

- It's only a twelve-hour car ride away!

- The Ficus. - Ficus? - What's a Fergus?

- What's a Ficus? - Whoa!

- There's meatloaf...

- There's meatloaf in my ficus!

There's meatloaf in my ficus! - My hockey's most... smam... smore.

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪♪

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