Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- Derek, I think the meat has already been tenderized.

- I think Derek's in a bad mood.

- Is it something to do with Sally?

You guys usually go out Friday night. - Not tonight, no!

She's gone to dinner with her good ol' buddy Patrick.

- Patrick? The guy she went out with for like five years?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Sally's friends with a dude? Well, is he moving in on your turf?

- Edwin, Sally is not turf! - Sorry. Well, is he moving in on your woman?

- She claims they're ¢just friends'.

- Just friends? Oh, guys and girls are never just friends.

- They aren't? - Of course they are and who told you such nonsense?

- Hey, somebody's got to teach the boy right from wrong.

- Edwin, men and women can be friends. - Hn?

- My friend Ernie's a boy. Can we still be friends?

- Of course you can, honey.

- Yeah, and Edwin, what about Michelle?

- Michelle is not my friend!

She's my girl friend.

- Okay. - Edwin, Derek is wrong, as usual.

Guys and girls can be friends. I for one have lots of male friends.

- Oh, yeah? Like who? - Uh, Ralph, Sam--

- Ah, they're my friends.

- Okay, well, I have plenty of other male friends.

Like, um... um...

- Um-um-um? Ah! Love that guy.

- ♪♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married, that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school... A new house... ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora ♪

♪ Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪♪

- Can guys and girls be friends? Of course they can!

To think they can't is the opinion of someone so utterly immature

he doesn't know the meaning of friendship.

So there!

- Great day at the office, Derek. Looks like the movie's on me.

- Oh! You don't have another date with ¢Pattycake'?

- Derek, last night wasn't a date.

It was a dinner with a friend and we had a really good time, thanks for asking.

- Friend?

Oh, Sally, Sally, Sally.

So gullible, so naive,

so... good looking.

Look, guys and girls can't be friends. Things get weird.

- But you have female friends. Like Kendra.

- My ex-girlfriend Kendra? - Yeah.

- I go out of my way not to hang out with her out of respect for you.

- Derek, I'm fine if you're friends with Kendra.

- Okay. So then you'd be fine

with me texting her to have lunch with me on Monday.

Just the two of us. Alone.

- Wouldn't bother me one bit. - Okay!

Don't try and stop me.

Here I go.

- Derek, how could you?

That emoticon should be a ¢smiley' not a ¢frownie'.

- Look, first week in a new town,

a new job can be overwhelming, so, ah,

if there's anything you need, my door's always open, alright?

Yeah, mostly because it's warped and won't completely shut.

- Who's he talking to?

- New guy at work. Terry. - Alright, Terry. I'll see ya Monday. Okay, bye-bye.

- Wow! You know that Terry was a great hire...

smart, a lot of fun to be around.

- It's nice you've got a new work buddy.

Hey, you should invite Terry for dinner next Saturday.

- Great idea! I'll call her back.

- Guess the new guy's a girl.

- Yeah, I guess so.

- Terry? Me again. Listen, would you like to come to dinner Saturday?

- Emily, I got a situation here and I need your help. - What's wrong?

- I need a boyfriend fast! - Hm! Tell me about it.

- No, I don't need a boyfriend, I need a boy who is a friend.

- But why do you need one of those? - Because Derek says it's

not possible for guys and girls to be friends which is typical Derek so I told him

I have plenty of male friends. But I don't have any, so I need to make one, fast!

- Well, Casey, I kind of agree with Derek. I mean, when guys and girls are friends

it just gets kinda complicated. - Wait a minute!

I have a guy friend I forgot all about!

- Noel? - Yeah!

We were great friends when we were in the musical.

He's smart and funny and most importantly, he's right over there! Do I look friendly?

- Uh, yeah, yeah... Very. - Perfect!

- Hey, buddy. What's shakin'? - Besides you calling me buddy,

not much. - Well, how ¢bout we go catch up over lunch?

- I guess we could. - Great, let's go.

- So Noel, my friend,

anything exciting going on in your life?

- Well, this is it. Why do you ask?

- No reason. I just thought it'd be nice to catch up.

- This is so embarrassing.

- Oh, don't be embarrassed. I get lettuce stuck in my teeth all the time.

- No, I was talking about the note.

- Oh!

¢Hope you gobble, gobble the turkey all up. Love, Mom'...

Aw, your Mom still makes you lunch every day?

- No! Ah, not on the weekends. - That's sweet.

- Uh, what do you have? - Um, some tofu salady thing.

You wanna trade? - Betray my mother's turkey for tofu?

I can't do it. - Fine, then gimme a sip of your chocolate milk.

- Okay. [Slurping]

- Whoa, whoa... a sip, not a slurp. - Sorry!

You know, we should have done this a long time ago.

- Yeah we should have.

- So what's up? You need money? You need to borrow my study notes?

- Actually, it's Sally.

She made friends with her ex and it's kinda bugging me,

so I figured we should hang out. - You're having relationship problems?

- More like, ah... philosophical differences.

- You? Philosophical?

I bet you just want to make her jealous. - Hmm.

- Derry, I have really missed hanging out with you.

- Yeah, me too!

You always had the best sandwiches.

- So, you wanna go out Saturday?

- That would really bug Sally.

Let's do it! - Okay.

- The lettuce is so greasy... It's not even in season.

- You are the cutest ever!

- So Nora, is it true that Dad's

new ¢work chum' Terry's coming over for dinner Saturday?

- Yeah and I'm looking forward to meeting her.

[Telephone] - Oh. And will her husband be joining us?

- Ah, Terry's not married. - Not married? Does this concern you?

- No. - Daddy! Your friend

who's a girl's on the phone.

- Still not concerned? - Yeah, I am.

- About you, Edwin.

- Mom, this is Noel. - Hey.

- Nice to meet you, Noel. - Ah, is Derek around?

I want to introduce him to my friend. - Not home yet.

- Oh. Well, we're just going to go up and study. - With the door open?

- Yes, Mom. I'm sorry Noel.

- Don't be. I'm kinda flattered.

- So... I... I was wondering...

You dating anyone lately?

You know, since you broke up with ¢Johnny Football Hero'.

- You mean Max? Sadly, no. You?

- No, I... I'm not dating anyone.

I'm as single as a slice of cheese on a single slice of bread.

- Oh... I get where you're going with this.

- You do? - Of course.

You want a snack. I'll go get us something.

- Hey, I'm Edwin. You must be Casey's new boyfriend.

- Noel. I'm just her friend. - Ah, please! Guys and girls can't be friends.

- They can't? - No. Oh sure, you have to chill

in the ¢friend zone' at first, but then BOOM!

It's girlfriend city, population you.

- You really think so? - Oh yeah! It happened with me and my lady friend, Michelle.

You know, one minute we're hanging out and then

BOOM! We were going out.

- Edwin, out! - Bye! Good luck!

- So, I was thinking, do you wanna do something

Saturday night? - Boom is right!

- So, guess who has plans with a male friend Saturday night?

- Guess who's going out with Kendra Saturday night? - You asked her out on a date?

- No, she asked me out as a friend.

- So you found out that guys and girls can be friends!

Ah, Derek Venturi, I am impressed.

- Please, I'm just doing this to bug Sally.

And Kendra knows the score so it's all good.

- Derek somebody dropped off a cookie for you!

- Can't wait for our date. XO XO Kendra'?

- Hm. Sounds like Kendra thinks

Saturday is a real date not a pretend date.

- See, I told you! Guys and girls can't be friends! The cookie proves it!

- Ah, no, the cookie proves that you need to work on your communication skills

because obviously your ¢just friends' message

didn't get through. Because when I asked Noel out, he knew exactly what I meant.

- So what do I do now? - Give me the rest of the cookie?

- Well, that's a good idea. [Bell]

- Hey, Em, what's up? - You tell me.

I just got a text from a friend of a friend of Noel's

with huge news! - Ooh, what?

- You asked him out on a date Saturday night. - I did what?

[Laughter]

- Lizzie, we got problems. - Well, I know you do.

- It's our parents' marriage! Did you know that

Dad's new ¢work chum' Terry isn't married?

- Edwin, if my Mom is not worried about this, then I'm not worried about this.

- Well, that's just because you're not a relationship expert like me. Trust me,

unmarried Terry plus married George equals big trouble.

- No, you plus dumb theories equals me leaving.

- Hey, buddy.

- Casey!

You look really... nice.

- Thanks. Um, listen, about our plans Saturday night...

- Wait, you're not canceling are you? - No! No!

No, of course not. As long as it's a

friendly, casual, chillz kind of thing.

You know what I'm saying. - Yeah, sure, of course.

- Oh. - Wait,

what exactly are you saying? - I'm saying...

pick me up at seven.

- It's a date!

- Actually, it isn't.

- Did you like your cookie, Derry?

- Ah, yes, I do enjoy baked goods.

But you do know we're only going out to bug Sally, right?

- I know. I know

that if things with Sally were going well, you wouldn't waste your time playing games

and that deep down, you still like me.

- Ah, no! I don't like you deep down!

I like you as shallowly as possible!

- Derek! - You!

Guys and girls can't be friends. I told you!

Kendra can't take a hint, even when I spell it out.

- Yeah, well, Noel for sure thinks it's a date and

I didn't have the heart to set him straight.

- Yeah, well, I have to cancel or find Kendra

someone else to call ¢Dew-wee'.

- It's too bad we couldn't set Kendra and Noel up.

- Casey,

you just had one of those really rare good ideas.

We'll set them up! - You really think they'd hit it off?

- Who cares?! I mean... sure!

- So you're going out with Kendra, Casey and Noel on Saturday night?

Sort of seems like a double date. - Are ya jealous?

- No. Why would I be jealous?

- No reason.

Actually, ah, Casey and I are planning

on setting up, ah, Kendra and Noel.

- Derek, I'm very impressed! - Really?

- Yeah. You're really trying to be a good friend to Kendra.

- That's exactly what I'm doing.

- And it works perfectly for me because on Saturday

Patrick wants to take me to an exhibit at the museum

and then we're grabbing a bite here after. - Museum?

Who's this kid trying to kid? No guy's going to a museum unless he was trying to impress a girl.

- Derek, you couldn't be more wrong. Patrick is just trying to be my friend.

Just like you're trying to be friends with Kendra, right?

- Right.

- So Nora, it's great to finally meet you.

George talks about you and your family all the time.

- Did my Daddy tell you about me?

- Yes, he said you were very smart and very adorable.

- I try to be. - So, where's the rest of the family?

- Oh, Lizzie and Edwin will be right down

and my daughter Casey's out with her friend Noel

who she and George's son Derek are trying to set up

with his ex-girlfriend. - Teenagers?

- Teenagers. [Laughter]

- Lizzie, come here! We need to observe the enemy.

- Edwin, Terry seems really nice.

- A little too nice.

You know, it's all part of her plan to confuse Nora

so she doesn't find out Terry has designs on my Dad.

That's why we need a plan to foil her plan.

Are you with me? - Are you kidding?

I'm staying as far away from you as possible.

- Ah! Wasn't that exhibit amazing, Patrick?

- It was incredible!

- You know, I had no idea you were such a big fan of pre-Cambrian artifacts.

- I, ah, figured you didn't get to see a lot of museums with Derek, so...

- Well, we went to an art gallery once, but I did have to bribe him with ice cream.

- How are things going between you two? - I gotta say

they're pretty go--

That jerk!

He knew we were going to be here.

He is just keeping his eye on us.

Can you believe that? Why can't he accept

the fact that we are just friends?

- Maybe because, um...

we're not.

Sally,

I still like you.

Say something.

- Um... I say

that I see my good friend Casey. Let me introduce you to her!

- It is so nice to have a real home-cooked meal for a change.

- Oh, so you don't cook. My Dad loves a woman who can cook.

[Knock] - Ow!

- Sorry, can you pass that on to Edwin?

- George loves a woman who can cook? Well, there goes our marriage.

- Ha! Ha! Ha! - Terry,

how do you feel about kids?

- Well, I love children. I hope to have a family of my own some day.

- Your own family or, ah, someone else's? - Ow!

- Sorry. That was for Edwin too.

- Okay. Terry, cards on the table:

what are your intentions with my Dad?

[Laughter]

- You! Yo... good one, Ed.

- Always the comedian.

- Yeah! But no more jokes, okay, comedy boy?

- Ow. Okay, okay!

- So, isn't this nice? My boyfriend Derek,

my friend Patrick, my friend Casey,

her friend Noel, Derek's friend Kendra, all sitting here together.

- Yeah. It's really nice.

- Um, Casey,

I bet you and Patrick have lots in common! Why don't you tell him about yourself?

Please?

- Okay, um... well, I...

I like to sing and dance and I like reading and writing.

- You like reading, don't you, Patrick?

- I, ah, read the sports section.

- Ha! Ha! Ha! Isn't Patrick funny?

Casey loves funny guys. You know, you should really go out with her sometime.

- Do you think maybe you could wait to ask her

until after our date's finished?

- Ah,

what does your date with Kendra have to do with this?

- I'm not on a date with Kendra, I'm on a date with Casey.

- And I'm not on a date with Noel,

I'm on a date with Derek. Aren't I?

- Ah, man, these chicken wings are spicy.

- Okay, um, big confession.

- Derek and I thought that you two would

get along, so we set you up on a blind date. Isn't that fun?

- Without telling us?

- Ah, it... it was Casey's idea! - I'm shocked!

- I'm stunned. - I'm confused. You're trying to set me up with his date,

even though I told you I... - Wow! The kitchen is slow tonight.

I'm going to go see what's up.

- I, too, will see what's up!

Uh, question... Why are you trying to set up Casey and Patrick?

- Because I thought they'd make a cute couple?

Okay fine, Patrick told me he still likes me and

I thought if I set him up with Casey he would leave me alone.

- Ah! See, I knew it! That slime ball!

I was right all along!

- Yes, you were. But you were wrong not to set Kendra straight about the set up.

- Okay, if I told her the truth she wouldn't have come.

See, she's convinced that I'm interested in her again when

all I wanted to do was make you jealous!

- Derek that's terrible! Even though seeing Kendra

sidle up to you just now did make me a teeny, tiny bit jealous.

Stop smiling! We gotta figure out how to get out of this.

- Run? - Yeah. I'm right behind you!

- Oh, hi Mom! Can't talk long, I'm just having dinner with a friend and his family.

Yeah, they're great! I can't wait ¢til George and I have a family of our own.

- I don't believe it! Edwin was right! You are after George!

- I knew it! - Um, Mom? I'm gonna have to call you back.

- So you weren't just being funny?

- Oh, please, Edwin's never funny. - Yeah, that's right. I--

What? - I just can't believe you're in love with George!

- This is awful! - Actually it's wonderful.

- So you admit it? - Yes, I admit it.

I'm in love with George Prendergrast.

- I can't believe-- who? - George Prendergrast.

He's my fiancé. He's a doctor in Toronto

and he'll be moving here soon. And your George

has been my really good friend while I've been here in town alone.

Just a good friend. - Oh, well, well,

if that's the case, I'm going to go dig a hole and climb into it.

- Yeah, I'll get the shovel. - I've got a better idea.

Why don't we go back downstairs

and just pretend like none of this ever happened?

- I can see why my Dad really likes you.

- What is taking Sally so long?

- Well, if I know Derek, he ran and took Sally with him.

- That's incredibly rude. - And Sally isn't?

- Well, I'm sure it was Derek's idea. - Please, you're just jealous

that he's dating your ex! - Well, you're jealous my ex is dating Derek!

- Then I guess we have a lot in common! - Yes, you do!

So why don't you guys go to another table and get

to know each other better? - Great idea, Noel.

- Fine! Let's go Patrick! - Oh... Okay.

- Nice arms. - Nice grip.

- Oh, is that the bill? ¢Cuz I

kinda wanted to buy you dessert to make up for what I did.

- So you didn't want to go on a date, huh?

- I didn't have the guts to say I just wanted to go out as friends,

so I tried to set you up with Kendra.

- Really? Me and Kendra?

- I... I know. Bad call.

- Oh, it's a note from Derek and Sally.

¢Dessert is on us.'

- So... what do you think?

- I could totally go for some dessert.

- No, I meant about us just being friends.

Because maybe...

you like me?

- Me? Like you?

I was pretty psyched when I thought that you wanted to go on a date.

But I'm more psyched that we're friends.

- Oh, good! Good!

¢Cuz I... I wanna be friends and not just to prove to Derek

that he's wrong about whether guys and girls can be friends.

- Well, then I say we have three desserts each.

- Oh, ho! Are you sure we can handle all that?

- I'll... I'll help you out.

What're friends for?

- Cheers.

- Dad if I'm going to wash these dishes the least you can do is dry.

- No, the least I can do is nothing...

and what you're gonna do is finish washing those dishes

as punishment for your rude behavior at dinner.

- Dad, look,

I know I was rude, but at least my heart was in the right place.

You know, I just wanted to make sure that Terry didn't mess things up with you and Nora

because

Nora is the best thing

that has ever happened to you. - You missed a spot.

- Fine, but need I remind you

that any opinions regarding men and women were not my opinions,

but rather the opinions of my older brother.

So when you think about it, it's really Derek's fault that I acted like such an idiot.

- Edwin, you have to learn to take responsibility for your actions.

[Door open]

- Hey, guys. How was dinner?

- Great food. Curious conversation.

You're grounded. - Why?

- For planting ridiculous ideas in your brother's head.

- Whoa! It's not my fault that Edwin's got the bad sense

to listen to me! - Yes! Yes it is because I am very impressionable.

- Okay, Edwin. Then listen to this: run.

- Help!

- Come here! - Sorry Ed.

- Derek! - That'll teach you to listen to Derek.

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.

- Okay.

- Thank you! - Hurry up! We're very close!

- Grounded.

- Blblblb... - Marker.

- Ah!

- Right.

- Guys!

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0