Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

[Talking quietly] - Don't even... think about it.

- Make meatloaf for dinner?

- Oh! Sorry. Thought you were talking about something else.

- Quick, hide the list!

- Lizzie, if you and Mom are doing what I think you're doing you better not do it

'cuz I will freak right out! - Casey's gonna freak? Well then, where do I sit?

- Casey's not gonna freak cuz we're not doing what she thinks we're doing.

- What does she think that you're doing? - Planning a surprise party

for my sweet sixteen. Which they better not do because they know I hate surprises!

- Like, ah, when I told you I was marrying George and we were moving here?

- Ooh! She didn't handle that surprise too well.

- I don't handle any surprise too well.

Particularly surprise parties.

So please don't waste your time throwing me one because I'm planning my own.

Ooh! But these parties don't plan themselves so the meeting's at 2 p.m. 'Kay?

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

handle any surprise.

As long as I'm given plenty of warning.

Like, ah, if someone hides behind a door to scare me, they have to knock first.

- Hello?

- Don't tell me you're coming to my meeting.

- Unless your meeting's about pizza toppings for tonight's dinner, then nope.

- We're meeting to plan my surprise birthday party.

And yes, I'm aware that a planned surprise party's an oxymoron.

- What did you just call me?

- An oxymoron is a contradictory term,

such as jumbo shrimp,

living dead... Brotherly love.

- Okay! Good meeting.

- So what kind of shindig are you planning to throw yourself?

- It is not a shindig! It is a sophisticated party.

- Sophisticated party! Now there's an oxymaroon.

Look, parties are about going nuts, letting loose, pretty much the 'oxymaroon' of you.

- Well that is the kinda party that I want. - Come on, Casey!

It has been at least a month since the last decent bash

and me and my peeps are feeling severely party deprived,

so you could really help us out.

- Well, I'm sorry, I don't care about your party-starved peeps.

This is my party for me.

- Selfish much? ♪♪♪

Edwin! Down here!

- What's up D? - I need you to go to Casey's party planning meeting.

- Derek! If you're punishing me for sampling your aftershave,

I'd prefer a noogie.

- This is not a punishment. I need intel.

- Why?

- Are you questioning my authority?

- Casey! Don't start the meeting without me!

[Clock ticking]

[Bing!]

To recap, you say you want a mature kind of party?

Uh, Casey? - Edwin. Don't interrupt! Casey's thinking.

- I've got it!

What about a sit down dinner for 8?

Everyone would wear fancy clothes and listen to classical music.

- That sounds lovely. What time should I be there?

- Um, actually Marti, this would be a real dinner party

for friends my age. No family members.

- Are you thinking that George and I would

cater this party, or cook for it?

- You guys can't cook.

I mean you shouldn't cook because that wouldn't be fair.

Um, I was thinking at a restaurant...

not too expensive but elegant.

- Ah, hi! Sorry, Casey,

my work meeting ran late.

So how is, ah, this meeting going?

- You can read my notes.

- Okay. What do we have here?

- Thinking? - Uh huh, we've past the thinking stage

and have moved onto the next item. Budget.

- That's B-U-D-G-E-T. - Um, how much?

- Well, I was thinking of dinner with 8 of my closest friends

at an elegant yet inexpensive restaurant.

- Isn't elegant inexpensive restaurant an oxymoron?

- Oxy what-y? - Oh, how about dinner for 6 and you pay for half.

- I second that motion. - Oh! Motion passed! Meeting adjourned!

♪♪♪

- She's talking fancy friends eating fancy food at a not-so-fancy restaurant.

- Just when you thought she couldn't get any lamer!

- Hm! You said it, D.

- And as Casey's stepbrother

it's my duty to de-lame-ify her lameness.

Add that element of, ah... Surprise.

- But Casey has this irrational fear of surprises.

Especially surprise parties.

- Everybody knows people

who say they don't like surprise parties

love surprise parties.

- And do those same people plan their own surprise parties

because they're so afraid of having a surprise party thrown for them?

- Trust me Edwin.

This is going to be the su-weet-est sixteen ever.

- [George]: Hey there! How was Smelly Nelly's?

- Oh, good tipping night.

Plus I have got some good news for Casey.

- [Nora]: Really?

- Yeah! I heard from Edwin that Casey wants to have a dinner party at a restaurant

and I thought why not Smelly Nelly's?

Plus I could probably talk Pablo

into whipping up a special menu.

Consider it my gift to you.

- What do you think Case? - Can Pablo cook duck a l'orange?

- Oh yeah. Orange duck's his specialty.

- Okay. Wait, are you working that night?

- I'll make sure I'm not. And no need to invite me.

So, what should I tell Pablo?

- Tell him... to get cooking! Thanks Derek!

- My pleasure. Really.

- Okay! Now all we need to decide is: menu, invitation, wording and font

and suggested dinner conversation topics.

- You're planning our conversations?

- No, no, no! Talk about whatever you want.

As long it falls under one the following categories: music, the performing arts or literature.

- Yeah. - Max!

You will never guess what we're doing for my 16th birthday!

- She's right. You'll never guess. - What are we doing?

- Dinner for 6 at a fancy restaurant! Okay, Smelly Nelly's,

but we're going to get all dressed up and have mature dinner conversations.

- Sounds like, ah, fun.

- Oh, great, because I was so afraid you guys would think

the whole idea was pretentious or something.

- Oh, and if you in case you're searching for that perfect gift. I came up with a list.

Actually I made 2 copies in case Em wanted one too.

- A silver teaspoon? - A quill pen?

- A velvet pouch to carry the quill pen?

- I know. I'm a romantic. But I'm sure whatever you guys get me'll be great.

Anywho, I'm off to class.

- I guess I better take back those earrings.

- Yeah, me too.

- Hey guys. Y'know the party Casey's planning?

Well I've got a better idea. - Yeah?

- Forget it Derek. I want no part in something that involves upsetting Casey.

- Yeah, what Emily said.

- Look! I am not trying to upset Casey!

I'm just trying to make her dinner party a little, little less lame.

Look, we will tell her that everything is on for Friday,

but we'll actually invite a bunch of people to Smelly Nelly's

and surprise! - Casey hates surprises.

- Guys. It is our job to save Casey from herself!

- He makes a good point. - Ah, course I do!

- I guess it makes sense.

- Course it does! Great! You guys are in? I'll be in touch!

♪♪♪

- Come in.

- Happy sixteenth birthday!

- Please don't sing.

- Casey, honey, I want to tell you how proud I am of you

and how your birth was the happiest day of my life.

[Clearing throat] - Until I had Lizzie, which tied.

- Casey, are you okay?

- Yeah, yeah! Just trying to get used to being 16.

- Happy birthday, Casey!

- Ah ha ha! Please, please don't sing.

- I am really pumped about tonight!

- Oh, that's great 'cuz I kinda thought you were dreading it.

- Oh no. The more I thought about it, the more psyched I got.

- Happy birthday, Casey.

- Oh! Thank you. That's so sweet.

How does a girl I don't know know it's my birthday?

- Um, good news travels fast? Are you okay?

- Yeah! Yeah! It's, it's, ah, just a little stomachache.

I'm sure I'll be fine by tonight.

- Oh yeah. But, ah, maybe you should go home early and rest up?

- I do not need to... Ow!

Yeah, a little rest couldn't hurt. Ah!

- We can't do this! Casey's gonna know we didn't make her cake from scratch.

- Is that cake from a mix?

- [Both]: No.

- How do I look? - How do you feel?

- Sick... With excitement.

- Or just sick?

Oh, Casey you're burning up.

- I'll be fine. It's probably just... birthday fever.

♪♪♪

I just didn't sleep well because I was so hot

and because I felt like throwing up.

Oh! And because of the sharp pain in my side.

- Here? - Ow! No.

- Casey, darling, why didn't you tell me you had a fever?

- Who gets a fever for her sixteenth birthday?

- The same person who gets appendicitis on her 16th birthday.

Casey, darling, I've got to take you to the emergency room.

- No, no! I'll go tomorrow, Mom!

Tonight's my sweet 16!

I wanna eat duck a l'orange with Max and Emily and listen to the Brandenburg concertos!

- We'll pick another night and we'll make it perfect, I promise.

- Derek! - [Derek]: Alright.

- Come on, honey. - Where's the fire?

- I need you to phone the restaurant and cancel Casey's table.

I think she's got appendicitis

and I've got to get her to the emergency room. Come on, Casey. Lizzie!

- Ah, canceling? Might be a bit tricky.

- But why? Did you give them a deposit or something? Just call and cancel the table.

- Well see, it's like this:

the entire restaurant's booked for Casey's event.

- The entire restaurant for 6 people?

- Well, it seemed a shame to have such a small party

for such a big occasion, so I invited a few more people.

- How many more people?

- Well, let's see, ah...

The hockey team, the football team,

carry the one... a hundred and two.

- Derek, you threw me a surprise party!

- Surprise? - Cancel it!

- Casey, let's get in the car. Lizzie, help me out.

- Derek, you are ruining my life!

Ow.

- Come on honey. Lizzie, you get the door.

- I gotta get outta here! I gotta go surprise Derek

and ruin his party by kicking all his stupid friends out of my stupid surprise party!

- You're going into surgery to have your appendix removed.

- Then call George and get him to do all that! - You just try and relax.

I'll be right here when you wake up from your operation.

- Everyone knows I hate surprises.

He's so obnoxious. Surprise?

Well he is lucky I'm having surgery! Very lucky!

'Cuz when I get outta here, surprise!

- I love you!

- Yeah. Okay, I will. I will.

Right. Bye bye.

So, girls...

Casey's just been taken into surgery to have her appendix removed.

- I'm gonna go make Casey a get- well-right-away card!

- Okay.

Oh, come here Lizzie! It's alright.

It's alright. It's going to be fine.

- But poor Casey, having an operation on her 16th birthday?

She's been looking forward to this day for like, 16 years!

- Yeah. Lousy luck.

- Where are you going? - I'm going to Casey's party.

I mean it's a shame to have it without her but party train's already left the station.

Woo woo!

- Derek, how could you? How could I what?

Organize a surprise party for Casey?

- You took the party she wanted and made it into the party you wanted!

- What Casey wanted was totally lame.

If you think about it, it's actually a very unselfish thing to do.

Hm?

- Wait!

So you're really gonna go to this party

with your stepsister in emergency surgery?

- Dad, I have no choice. I'm the host!

It's a little thing called responsibility, alright?

Wish Casey luck on the whole surgery thing.

♪♪♪

- Where's Casey?

- Oh! Emergency appendectomy. You hungry?

- What's wrong with you? We have to cancel the party!

- Why? - I dunno! Maybe because the guest of honour's in surgery?

- What? We gotta cancel the party!

- It's too late to cancel the party! Casey would want us

to have a good time, so we have to honour her birthday wish by having the best time ever!

- Max, we got duped. Derek won't cancel Casey's party

'cuz it never really was Casey's party! It's Derek's party!

- Course Derek does throw a mean party.

- Hey, Casey.

You just had your appendix out.

Everything went well.

Oh, the scar will be small.

- Hm. Is it still my birthday?

- Yeah, for another... Two hours and eleven minutes.

- Derek'll pay for ruining my birthday.

- Okay, let's, let's not talk about Derek right now. You may burst your stitches.

- Okay. Mom?

- Yeah, honey? - Derek is such a...

Such a...

- Yeah, I know.

- Casey. I wasn't expecting you.

Aren't you supposed to be at your birthday party? - Well, that's just it Paul.

I was planning my own surprise party

and Derek planned a different surprise party to make sure I was really surprised.

But the biggest surprise of all is that I had an emergency appendectomy.

- Okay, well that's a lot of surprises. Maybe I can help you with that.

- C'mon, Paul, you never actually help with the Derek thing. You just let me vent.

- Well, it's your birthday,

so this time I'm gonna give you a little more.

- Wow!

That's, that's very surprising and kinda scary.

- You can wish for anything you want.

- You mean you made me talk about my feelings all this time

when you could have just granted me a wish?

- Do you want it or not? - Yes please.

♪♪♪ I wish for a life without Derek.

- Your wish is my--

- Wait. Maybe I should wish for world peace.

- Your wish is my-- - Wait! Well, what do you think I should do?

- I'm sorry! Genies do not tell people what to wish for!

- Well, it seems wrong to wish someone out of existence.

Course, I could just wish Derek out of my life.

- Your wish is my command.

- Derek?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa Barjy Barjerson!

Who gave you permission to enter my room without permission?

- Excuse me? - No one comes into this room unless expressly invited.

- Edwin you shouldn't be in here. - I shouldn't be in here?

That's funny! Now out!

Marti, come in Marti.

- Reading you loud and clear Edwin.

- Yeah, P, B, & J, heavy on the P. Stat.

- Edwin, you can't treat Marti like that!

How would you like it if you were treated like that, say by an older brother?

- Oh, well, thankfully I don't have an older brother.

- I don't believe it! You're worse than Derek!

- I don't know who this Derek is,

but I do know that you're really annoying.

So could you get Lizzie and have her catalogue my hockey card collection?

- Oh, Edwin! What have you become without Derek?

- There is no Derek.

- [Derek]: Wake up Casey.

Wake up!

'Cuz I'm here to remove your gall bladder.

- No! It was my appendix and it's already gone.

Wait, why are you wearing a plastic stethoscope...

Doctor?

- Sup? Happy to see me?

- Happy? I oughta throw a bedpan at you.

- Oh, why? - Derek, you wrecked my birthday!

- Hey, hey, hey! Don't blame me! Blame your appendix!

- My appendix saved me.

Otherwise I would have gone to the surprise surprise party and ended up crying in the bathroom.

- Oh, I'm sorry I missed that. - So how was 'my' party?

- See for yourself!

[Laughter] Hey! Welcome to Casey...

McDonald's surprise 16th birthday.

- Casey. I'm so, so sorry.

Max and I let Derek talk us into turning your dinner party into a real party,

which was of course really wrong. But I gotta say

it's incredibly fun, but I...

I mean I'm so sorry you couldn't come.

And I am so lucky to have you as a best friend because...

- [Derek]: Yeah, whatever!

[Music at party] Hey, got anything to say to Casey?

- Ah, who's Casey? - Her!

- Well! Happy Birthday, Casey.

- And let's hear from the hockey team!

- CASEY! CASEY! CASEY!

- And the football team! - Casey! Casey!

- So... you, uh, seeing anybody?

- Well, it goes on for a while. And some of the tributes get,

Well... a little pukey, so you'll have to watch those in private.

- So, um, did the guy I am seeing say anything?

- I'll let him say it.

- Surprise. - Max!

- Hey!

I've got something for you.

- Oh.

Congratulations on the birth of your twins. How sweet.

- Sorry. That's all the drugstore had left. Plus this...

- A blue monkey?!

Ah, Max, I love it.

- So you're not mad at me for going along with the party?

And for not getting you a quill pen?

- I blame Derek for the party

and this present is way better than a quill pen. What time is it?

- A minute to go before it's tomorrow.

- Kiss me quick then. ♪♪♪

- C'mon, Max, we gotta go. The nurse is onto us.

- Bye, Case!

- Hi Casey! - Hey Casey! - Hey Case! How're you feeling?

- [George]: Hi Case! No one could sleep until they saw you.

- Awww, that's so nice!

- I was so worried about you! - [Marti]: Can I see where they cut you open?

- Can I see the appendix? I hear it looks like an alien head!

- Edwin, promise me you will never turn into Derek!

- Uh? - The anesthetic hasn't worn off yet.

- Well, looks like a party in here!

But this young lady had an operation tonight.

- I am telling you, this is my family!

- Is he with you? - [All]: Nope.

- I'm calling security. [Derek whimpers]

♪♪♪ - Well, come on guys, let's go rescue Derek.

- Bye, Casey. - Bye, Casey!

- We love you. We miss you. - Get well soon! - Bye!

- Okay so it wasn't the sweetest sixteen ever.

- But at least I got over my fear of surprises

'cuz nothing will be more surprising than this.

- Oh, I hope not. Sleep tight, honey.

- Bye, Mom.

Seven, six,

five, four, three, two,

one.

- [George]: So Casey,

your mother tells me that, ah,

you would like to choose Derek's punishment for wrecking your surprise party.

- Make Derek have bathroom duty for a year!

Or he can be your butler!

- You know guys, now that I'm 16 and more mature,

I've learned you have to make the best of the family you've been given.

- Well, then Derek can be my butler.

He still deserves to be punished, right?

- Lizzie, even though Derek can be horrible,

that's his role in our family. At least he keeps Edwin in line.

- Edwin's in line?

- [Derek]: Hey.

- Well, Derek, it looks like this is your lucky day because,

ah, Casey has decided she doesn't want you to be punished for ruining her party.

- Oh! Then if I'm not being punished, can the birthday girl reimburse me for the food

'cuz those football boys sure ate a lot of duck.

- Der-rek! - Derek, leave the room now.

You're interfering with Casey's convalescence.

- Yeah and once I'm fully convalesced, I'm putting him in the hospital.

- Well, sounds like you're feeling a lot better already.

♪♪♪

- Casey! Wake up!

- Hey, guys! You know that party Casey's planning?

Well I've got... [Gibberish]

- There is no Derek!

- What?

- And, yes, I'm aware that a...

- [Gibberish] Come on, Max. We gotta go!

- [Nurse]: There you are! [Gibberish]

♪♪♪

- Clear! Good to go!

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

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