Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- Oh, hey honey! How's, ah, how's studying going?

- Done. Now, as per my pre-test ritual,

all I need is a granola bar, 9 hours of sleep and I am good to go.

- What's the test on? - Ivanhoe.

- Ivan-who? - It's about nobility and chivalry and...

- It's about this knight dude who's in love with this babe,

Lady Rowena, yet he ends up saving this other babe, Rebecca,

from burning at the stake.

- You actually read... ♪♪♪

The comic book. - I prefer "graphic novel".

- [George]: Ah, Edwin?

What are you doing carrying 2 buckets of water on a yoke?

- No reason, um... Do we have any bigger buckets?

- Edwin! - Okay. Okay.

So, there's a tiny little hole in the roof. It's no biggie.

- A hole in the roof? - What? Wait, wait, hang on! When did that happen?

- Maybe a couple weeks ago? - Why didn't you tell us sooner?

- Well, 'cuz I didn't wanna lose my sweet attic bachelor pad.

- I'll go take a look. See what I can rig up to keep the rain out.

- Oh! Oh! You're not going on a ladder! - And not using a hammer.

- Hammer? No. No hammer! Hammers are loud!

Buckets are good! Until tomorrow?

- Nah! That's an easy job but...

Where's my tool belt, 'cuz I, ah...

Gotta protect my family from the elements.

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

s still appreciate chivalry.

There's nothing more chivalrous than a guy risking life

and limb to protect his loved ones.

Except at midnight, the night before a test.

[Hammering]

- Huh? What? Where? - Ed, what do you think you're doing?

- Well, Dad told me to sleep here until the roof was fixed.

- Oh, no way.

Mi casa es mi casa. Out.

♪♪♪

- Thanks for caring.

- Look what you did to my bed.

- I am never gonna get enough sleep to do well on this test.

- Hello? - What?

- Earth to Mom? - Sorry, honey.

I was, ah... rereading Ivanhoe.

I forgot how much I loved it when I was in school.

- All that gallantry and chivalry.

Being swept up by a knight in shining armor.

It's so romantic. - Yeah.

Too bad chivalry's dead. - C'mon, Mom!

George is... chivalrous.

He's not exactly handy, but he's trying to fix the roof. - Sweet, isn't it?

- Okay. The tarp's up. - Ah, great, honey!

Ah, look, I'll call the contractor in the morning and he can finish the job.

- Don't bother 'cuz I'm gonna fix that myself.

Save us some dough.

And I get to use my caulking gun.

♪♪♪

- Well, at least your knight has called it a night.

- Sleep well, honey.

- Marti?

What's wrong? - Can I sleep in here tonight?

- Why? - 'Cuz wild animals might get in

through the hole in the roof.

- Okay, but you have to go right to sleep

'cuz I have a big test tomorrow.

Alright? - Okay.

Be right back! ♪♪♪

- Ah...

- Oh! Ed!

- Huh? What? What? Is-Is it morning?

- Ah, you'll be lucky to see another morning

if you don't get outta my bed in the next 2 seconds.

- I thought you wouldn't notice. - Dude, your feet smell like compost.

- Oh, well, I thought that was your feet.

- Get out... now! - Fine.

But I'm taking Mister Fuzzy.

[Both screaming]

- Edwin! What are you doing?!

- I was about to go to sleep, but how was I supposed to know you were here?

- Ah, 'cuz ya' look before ya' leap!

- You better move 'cuz I'm taking the couch! - Oh, no, you're not

because I have a test tomorrow! - So? I don't have a room!

- Me neither! - Give me the couch!

- Not without a fight. Get off!

Please. I was here first! - I don't care! No, I was!

- I don't either! Move!

♪♪♪

- I'm going to bed! - No!

- Hey-hey-hey! Guys, it's 3:00 in the morning.

- What's going on here? - She attacked me with a pillow!

- What? I was trying to sleep because Marti has a gazillion stuffed animals!

- Hey! Those are my friends!

- And I would've gone to Lizzie's room but she snores! - I just breathe loudly!

- And then Edwin tried to smother me by sitting on my head!

- Derek wouldn't let me in his room! - Hey! I don't wanna breathe

in your foot fumes! - Ah, can we discuss 'foot' notes in the morning

because I have a test tomorrow and I need at least 8 and a half hours of sleep

and so far I got none and a half!

- Well, why don't you just sleep on the floor because nobody really cares about you!

- I'm going to bed here! - No! - Yes, I...

[Commotion] - It's just my breathing.

♪♪♪

- Enough!

Here's what we're gonna do.

Edwin's in Lizzie's room. Lizzie's in Marti's room.

Marti is in our room. Derek and Casey are in their own rooms.

There. Now, everybody go to bed.

♪♪♪

- [Casey]: Night.

- And Ed? Wash your feet.

- Okay. If I get to sleep now, I'll get 3 and a half hours of sleep.

That's at least good enough for an A minus.

[Alarm clock]

Derek, did you set my alarm?

- Keep it down in there! Some of us are trying to sleep!

[Alarm clock] - Derek...

Oh, come on. Morning already?

Okay, it's okay.

I got 15 minutes of sleep between 6 and 6:15,

plus that 8 minutes before I fell out of bed.

That's a combined quality 23 minutes. I'll be fine.

- Hey, Case. Everything okay?

- Yeah! What? Fine. Everything's fine. Why do you ask?

- Isn't it a little early for candy and pop?

- Not if you didn't sleep a wink!

Get it? Huh Max? - So you're sure you're okay?

- Oh, sorry there was a leaky roof in the attic and Marti's stuffed animals attacked me

and Edwin has stinky feet and Lizzie with her big snoring and Derek and the alarm clock.

- Oh... Bummer.

- Someone a little overtired?

- I am completely fine! I'm perfectly fine, thank you.

- Okay everybody!

Pencils out and no talking.

- Okay, Casey... all you have to do is get through this test.

[Snoring]

- Okay, everybody. Pencils down.

Just leave your tests on your desk.

[Bell ringing]

- Bye, Casey! - Sweet dreams!

- Casey? Casey, it's time to wake up.

- 5 more minutes, Mom. - Uh, Casey?

It's time to hand in your test.

- The test is blank! - Hm.

- I slept through the test?

Derek Airlines?

- Thank you for flying with us.

- Mornin', sleepyhead. - Hey, thanks for watching my back!

- Casey!

Where ya' going?

- Away from you and Derek!

- I see... Rip Van Casey.

- Not a good time for jokes, Paul.

- Sorry. I heard that Mister Sheehan is gonna let you rewrite the exam.

- I cannot believe Derek did this. Humiliating me in front of the whole class!

- Mm?

- "You're cute when you drool. Max."

- That's... sweet. - Sweet?

That is not sweet!

Not only did Max allow this to happen,

but he was part of what happened!

A boyfriend should stick up for his girlfriend not put a sticky on her!

- I-I guess you're right. - I thought Max was a perfect gentleman.

Isn't he?

- ♪♪ I don't care ♪

♪ I don't care I don't care when I'm with you ♪

♪ I don't care, I don't care ♪

♪ I don't care when I'm with you ♪

♪ Na Na Na Na ♪♪

- [Guy]: Heads up, Dude! - I didn't know that!

- Oh-ho-ho-ho. Bulls-eye! - Ha, ha! Yeah! Thanks, bro!

- Max is a total jerk!

I can't believe I got mad at Derek for doing what he always does!

You know, I should have gotten mad at Max

for not doing what he should've done! For not defending my honour!

For not being chivalrous! - Uh, Casey,

don't you think the idea of chivalry is a little... old-fashioned?

- I don't believe that, Paul. Bell-bottoms? Out of fashion. That tie?

Way out of fashion. But chivalry? Chivalry is timeless.

It's, it's... classic!

And Max is classless!

♪♪♪ This is not a good day!

- Ah, Casey, ya- Ya' got, um...

- Hey! Hey! Can you untie me? Hey!

Hey! I'm tied to a tree here, people!

Hey! Untie me!

Help? ♪♪♪

- But I thought chivalry was dead.

- Why do people keep saying that?

- 'Cuz it like so is.

- Okay. Look,

I guess... Deep down,

I kinda always wanted a boyfriend like...

I dunno, like...

- Ivanhoe? - Exactly.

A guy who would help me off my horse.

- Your horse? - Or, bike, whatever.

A guy who would carry my books, or... Or put his jacket over a soda spill.

- Case, c'mon. You have a great relationship with a great guy.

Don't you think maybe you're expecting a little much?

- No. No, I do not.

- Well, Max certainly looks the part.

- Ladies.

- Tell him you wish he was more like Ivanhoe, or whatever.

- You know, Em, that is exactly what I am gonna do.

♪♪♪ Max!

- Hey, Case.

- Hey, um... Did you put this on my back when I was sleeping?

- Yup. And it's true. You do look cute when you drool.

- Max, drooling isn't cute!

And if you were more like Ivanhoe or King Arthur

or Sir Lancelot, you'd know that. So, for my sake

and the sake of my dignity, I need you to make things right with Derek.

- Oooookay.

- So you'll talk to Derek? - Sure.

- Great. Oh, there he is.

So hop up on your trusty steed and giddy-up on over there to defend my honor.

Now. Go. - Ah... - Yeah.

- Casey told me to come talk to you.

[Whispers]

- Well, how'd it go? - Great!

- Great! So Derek apologized? - Actually, he did.

- Oh, that just makes me feel so much better.

- He said the only tickets he could get were back balcony.

- Tickets? - Yeah, for wrestling.

But the ring's so big it won't even matter, right? - Wrestling?!

- Yeah. I'm glad you got me to talk to him.

- Need... Sleep... Now!

- Oh, hey! Where are you off to? - Goin' up to fix the roof.

- Oh, that's nice. Oh! From underneath or on top?

- Nora, you can't fix a roof from underneath.

- Ah, George, it's, it's far too dangerous.

Roofs are very slippery and...

You're very clumsy. That's why I forbid you!

- Ha! Uh-uh! You can't forbid me.

I am the man of the house. Nay, the man, period!

And it is my duty to fix the dwelling in which my family resides.

- And it is my duty to stop you

from damaging thy dwelling or thyself!

♪♪♪

- Nora, I know what I am doing! - No, you don't!

The noble thing to do would be to call a contractor.

- Never!

- Ah, Casey, tell George that I'm right.

- George, Mom is right. She's always right.

Now, I have had a day of disappointments and I'm gonna nap.

So please, could you stop fighting about whatever it is

and let me get the peace and quiet I desperately need.

- Ah! Ah. - Shh.

Not a word.

- George, are you okay? - Yup. Yup.

I'm just gonna go downstairs. Scream a little.

[Muffled groaning]

- Hey! Edwin! - What? How?

- Out. Now. - But I don't have anywhere to go for my siesta.

I'm a man without a country, Casey.

- Well, you're gonna be a man without a 14th birthday

if you don't leave, now!

- Oh, fine!

You know, you are cranky when you don't sleep.

[Squeaking]

- Ow!

- Aw, you poor baby.

[Yawning]

- Nothing like a 2-hour catnap before dinner.

How's the foot feelin', George?

- It hurts, but, you know what, it's my own fault for trying to fix the roof myself.

I'll call a contractor tomorrow.

- Hey, at least you tried to be macho.

So what if you're not. - That's right!

You embarked on a brave, though foolhardy mission.

Unlike my lug of a boyfriend who doesn't protect me

from spitballs, paper airplanes and sticky notes.

- Ah, c'mon, Case, let it go.

I'm sure if there were a fire-breathing dragon

chasing you, Max would defend you.

- You'd hope so.

You know, maybe he does deserve a second chance to prove himself.

- I need you to make me look like a fool.

- Those P-Js beat me to it.

- Not now. Tomorrow. At school.

I need to give Max the opportunity to do an honorable thing.

- Okay, you're kidding, right? This a gag?

- No gag. I just need you to prank me. Tomorrow at school.

- Let me get this straight.

You want me to make you look like a fool in front of everybody at school

and it will be completely sanctioned?

- Yup. I'll even put it in writing. - Yes!

I have got a ton of new material kickin' around.

- Oh, great! Do your worst. Now, there are a few conditions.

- Oh, here we go.

- It has to be in the caf between 1:00 and 1:05 p.m.

It can't hurt. And you have to wait for my signal.

- No problem. - Don't you want to know why?

- No. But I'm sure you'll be compelled to tell me.

- I mean, I guess I always just thought

a lady shouldn't have to ask for chivalry.

You know, a gentleman should just be chivalrous all the time.

And if Max isn't?

Well, then maybe he's just not the guy for me after all.

So I'm giving him one more chance. What do you think?

- I think...

I really need a sandwich.

[Roaring] - Help!

Help! Help!

- Where is he? - Where's who?

- Hey, Max.

Um, no one.

- Casey, why did you want to meet me here

at exactly this time?

- Oh, you know me. Gotta keep on schedule.

- Hey, guys! Beautiful day, isn't it?

- Just get to it, Derek.

One sec.

What is the hold up?

- Well, I thought about it all night and...

how do I make Casey mad and look like a fool?

- Yeah, and? - Realizing you're desperate,

the answer is... Nothing. I'm not gonna do anything.

That's the prank!

- And it took you all night to come up with that?

- C'mon Case, let's grab lunch.

- Ah, yeah, just wait one second.

- Why?

- Hey man!

- Ah, Casey, what is it?

- Casey!

- Der-ek!

Max? Can you believe he did this? - Did what?

- He dumped his entire tray of food on me. Aren't you gonna stand up for me?

- Casey, what are you doing?

Mmm. Strawberry.

- Max! - What?

[Squeaking boots]

- Aren't you gonna say something to Derek?

- Ah, me? Wait a sec I didn't do anything. This was all your idea.

- Your idea? - Um...

You weren't supposed to say that.

- That wasn't in the conditions. - Casey, what's going on?

- What's going on is...

that I dumped a tray of food on myself

because Derek selfishly wouldn't do it.

- What? Why?

♪♪♪

- Let's talk in private.

- I'm really confused.

Why would you dump food on yourself?

- To show that you were different.

- How does doing something weird prove that I'm different?

And, and different how?

- Different than every other guy out there.

I wanted you to stick up for me so I set up a situation

in which you could be my knight in shining armor.

And you failed, again.

I guess you're just not the Ivanhoe I was hoping for.

- So what exactly was I supposed to do?

- Well...

- ♪♪ I'm crazy ♪

♪ I'm crazy for you ♪

♪ To make sure that you have the best in life ♪

♪ There is nothing I wouldn't do ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm crazy ♪

- Are you okay? - ♪ Crazy for you ♪♪

- Casey? - Hm?

- Casey, I didn't think you needed all that stuff.

- Why would you think that?

- 'Cuz you're smart, independent, strong.

You can handle yourself.

Which is what I really like about you.

- Phew. Okay, okay! You are forgiven!

But would it kill you to open a door for me once in a while?

- It would be my pleasure.

May I help you up, m'lady? - Yes, you may, kind sir.

[Laughter] - [Guy]: Nice!

- Did you actually think I was going to do nothing?

- Uh! Stop!

- Allow me. Hey! You can't do that to my girlfriend!

Say you're sorry!

♪♪♪

I challenge you to a duel!

How was that? - Perfect.

[Alarm clock]

Ah!

[Whistling]

Good morning.

Ah! Much better.

- Ahhh!

- Edwin? What are you doing?

- What do you think? This is the last place in the house I can sleep.

- Oh. Well, in that case.

Don't forget your feet. - Hey!

Could you at least hand me a towel?

Or some bubbles! C'mon, have some courtesy here.

♪♪♪

- Yes! I've got a ton of new... [Dissolves into gobbledy gook]

- Well, hey!

Gu... gu... how 'bout some...

pillow... or towels, or...

- Thanks for watching my back.

- Still rolling! - Background.

- Wait, wait! Okay.

- Edwin tried to smuggle me... What's the word? - Smother!

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0