Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- [TV]: He's coming! [Sobbing]

[Scraping blade sound] [Screaming] - Ah!

- Ha! - What on earth are you watching?

- Curse of Evil. - Part 9.

Gruekor's Revenge. - Much better than part 8.

- Yeah, but not as creepy as part 6. - You want gore? Try 4.

- [TV]: And now. I will have my revenge.

- Watch out for the hook! - [Casey]: The hook?

[Screaming] [Scraping blade sound] [Lizzie's whining]

- [TV]: Come to me. - What? Ah! - Is it over yet?

- For you? Yes. Why would you let her watch this?

- It's okay. I can handle it.

Ah! - Okay, ah... Liz

Liz, c'mon! Let's just go to bed.

- What? Scared much?

- Please. These movies don't scare me. They bore me.

- Bored by gore? I don't buy it.

- C'mon Liz. - Come to think of it, I am a little tired.

[Woman screaming on TV]

- Ah, remember Liz, it's just a movie... - Just a movie!

- No it's not... - Would you stop scaring her.

- You mean scaring you. - Ah!

Please. If you really wanna scare me, hide my personal organizer.

- [TV]: You can't escape.

- Ed!

I do believe that sounded like a dare...

to scare.

- Ha! Ha!

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

an art form?

Please. More like a weird form of escapism for Derek-types

who like their thrills and chills.

Well, we rational people find them... ridiculous.

[Metallic banging]

It's okay, Casey.

It's... it's not real! It's just a dream.

See?

- Hello Casey! Looking for your organizer?

Ha! Ha! Ha! [Screaming]

- Ah!

Just... a dream.

Ah! - Casey...

You mind if I sleep in here?

My room isn't... safe.

I was reading in bed when a hand grabbed my leg.

[Screaming]

- Oh, I'm sorry! Did I scare you?

- Ah, sure... don't worry, Liz. I'll be safe with you here.

I mean, you'll be safe with me here.

- Thanks.

You mind if we turn... - Great idea!

- Ah!

The pipes are acting up again. I should call the plumber.

- Whoa, Dad, how could you?

After what happened to the other plumber.

- What other plumber?

- It is that time of year.

- What time of year?

- The anniversary of his demise.

Fixing the pipes. In this very house.

- Stop it, you 2.

- Oh! Speaking of scary...

- I didn't sleep well. - Somebody have a nightmare?

- No! I was up late... reading a really... good book.

- Something better than Curse of Evil?

- What? You guys rented that? Why didn't you tell me?

- George, you let the boys watch scary movies?

- Um, well how shall I put this? Yes.

[Both laughing] - Bong!

- Oh, c'mon! What's a little bit of harmless horror?

We are talking PG-13 here?

- Oh, of course, of course, of course.

- Um... Lizzie's 12!

- George, it's a good thing Marti's at her Mom's.

- Okay, Derek, no more watching scary movies when your sisters are around, okay?

- Ah, yeah. Sorry!

I... I keep forgetting they're the weaker sex.

- Oh, thank you Derek.

- No worries. But George, I wasn't scared!

The problem was your other son who hid under my bed and grabbed my ankles.

- What? [Laughing]

- Edwin, do not scare Lizzie by hiding under her bed!

- [From upstairs]: Sorry, Lizzie!

- There. Problems are solved.

See, I really think we're getting the hang of this compromise thing.

- Alright! Love to stay for the group hug but I've got things to do!

- Waaah! - Ah! DEREK!

[Screeching]

Okay, Casey. Snap out of it.

Okay.

Ah!

- What'd I do? - Um, nothing. Sorry. I didn't sleep at all last night.

- Why not?

- Have you seenCurse of Evil?

- Only like 5 times.

Remember the part when Gruekor chases that ghoul on the skate--

- Unfortunately, yes, um... Wait, you like scary movies?

- I love them! What's not to like?

It's a total rush.

Remember the part when Gruekor jumps up from behind that fence?

- Casey, you look like you've just seen a ghost.

- More like a hook-handed zombie. - Pardon me?

- In a movie! A stupid, illogical, irrational scary movie. And I fell for it!

Why do people watch those stupid things?

- Well, uh, physical fear produces an endorphin

in the pleasure centre of the brain. Like in the movie...

[Whispering]:Curse of Evil.

- "Et tu", Paul? You like scary movies?

- Yeah, I love freaking myself out.

Um... because, ah... physical fear serves as a biological function.

- It does? - Yeah. It helps the mind prepare

for fear for later on in life.

- Are you just saying that to make your juvenile interests seem mature?

- Yep. But it could help you to appreciate...

Scary movies! [Hissing]

- Paul? Not funny.

- Too soon for jokes? - Yeah.

- [TV]: There'll be clear skies early this evening,

but the weather could turn ugly later tonight with the...

- What's ugly? The idea of me spending the entire weekend in a tax seminar.

- Why don't Lizzie and I drive you to the train station?

- That'd be great, guys. - You wanna come, Case?

- Oh, nah. I'm exhausted. I think I'm just gonna read my book

and enjoy the peace and quiet.

- Enjoy.

- Bye-bye! - Bye! - Bye!

- Ah! Edwin! How long have you been here?

- Since, I was born.

What'cha readin'?

- A book.

- Betcha I got a better story.

About the guy who died in this house.

- Go away, Edwin.

- You should have been told before.

This house is haunted by the ghost of someone

who died on this very day 16 years ago.

- Really? Do tell.

- Before we lived here? The owner? Freddie Cleaver?

He was fixing the plumbing? All by himself, right?

- You asking me or are you telling me?

- He messed up. The pipes were clogged.

- So when he turned the water back on... Boom!

- Ah! - The pipes exploded!

Sending water everywhere. And a piece of pipe pierced his heart.

Freddie was dead-y!

- Nice try, "Edd-ie".

Ah!

- So, I'm going to go over to Sam's for a bit.

- Yeah and I'm going over to Jason's.

- Oh, and uh... if I were you I wouldn't flush, you know, unnecessarily.

- Have a nice evening... Casey.

- Mom?

Probably just the wind.

[Water running]

What's up with the tap?

Was that the wind?

Terrific.

Okay! That is so not the wind.

Okay, Casey. Get a grip! You're just overtired.

[Creaking]

Derek if that's you, I swear--

[Muffled sounds from upstairs] [Water running again]

Not scared. Nope! Not scared. Not scared! [Creaking]

Ah!

[TV sputtering] Oh!

I don't believe in ghosts! [Strange devilish laughing]

Oh!

Leave me alone, whatever you are!

[Door opening]

[All screaming]

[Glass breaking] - Casey?

What happened? What's wrong? - Is someone in the house?

- Ah! Just us. - WHAT? You told me you were both going out!

- I... you. Mom, he...

In what twisted world--

- I just wanted to prove that despite all your rational explanations,

you'd wig out just like anyone else would.

Well, anyone but me, of course.

[Both laughing] - Boys, scaring people is not funny.

- I respectfully beg to differ. - Me too!

- You better watch your back, Derek.

- Or what? You're going to study me to death?

[Laughing] - Okay, that's it!

- Ah, no, no, no! I'll handle this.

Derek, Edwin, you went too far with this. Now go to your rooms!

- Ha!

Oh! How cute is that?

- Oh, adorable! - Cute?

That wasn't meant to be cute! I meant business!

- Nice try, Mom. But you really wanna show 'em,

let me get back at them.

- Let us get back at them.

- Casey, Lizzie... - Come on!

You said yourself this time they went too far!

- Just make sure no one gets hurt.

- [TV]: Come to me. [Screaming]

- Is the scary part over yet? - Not yet. Um-um!

[Screaming] - Ah!

- [TV]: Help me! - 'Kay, now it's over.

If you hate scary movies, why are you watching this?

- I'm watching it because I hate scary movies.

I'm trying to desensitize myself.

[Screaming] - You can't hide from me.

- Yeah? Watch me!

[Screaming] - Ah! Ha! Ha!

Did you see that? - Uh... yeah!

- C'mon Casey! You're never gonna get desensitized from up there.

- [TV]: Come back here! - Okay, but...

I still don't see why this thing wants to eat all these people anyway.

- Hello? They're the undead.

- Ah! - Ha!

- Rrrrah!

- Hey Lizzie.

That's a cool mask.

- Mark my words, Edwin! I will scare you! Some day! Somehow!

- [TV]: Prepare to eat your maker.

- Boo!

We've been prepared for an hour!

What are you: the maker or the faker?

- Hey! The best part's coming up!

- Em, after 6 movies and 3 bags of popcorn

I think I can honestly say

I'm over my irrational fear of fear.

Thank you. - Are you sure?

- Yeah. No, I mean. Yes.

Absolutely. Now, as my horror consultant,

are you up for another challenge?

- [Lugubrious]: Anything!

- Ha! Em...

I wanna scare Derek.

- But that's not possible.

- Sure it is! Cuz we're going to use something Derek would

never think of using in a million years.

- And what's that? - Our brains.

Gotcha!

- Seriously? That's how you're going to get me back?

- Wow. You really don't get scared.

- No, I really don't.

- And even if I were to try to get you back,

you'd probably just get me back ten times worse anyway, right?

- Yeah, I probably would.

- Well, congratulations. You win!

Truce? - Bloody hand. Pretty cool! Uh... can I keep this?

- Darn. I was so sure...

- Bye.

- 1 part red food colouring.

One part baking soda.

And one part vinegar.

[Laughing like a demented scientist]

[Whistling]

- Ah!

- Scared you. Scared you!

Ha! You should've seen your face!

- Lizzie? You know I'm not easily scared,

but I'm really not easily impressed.

How did you do that?

- I'll show you on one condition.

There's a plot afoot to scare Derek and we need you to join the team.

- Impossible!

- Joining the team? Or scaring Derek?

- Both. I value my life.

- Edwin. Every student has to take on the master!

If we're successful Derek will have a new respect for you.

- New respect? And when did I have the old respect?

- Starting right now?

- I like your moxie, kid. I'm in.

- Excellent.

- Can I have my milk back?

- ♪ Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish. ♪

- Uh-um! - ♪ How many pieces do you wish? ♪

- Trying to watch TV here.

- ♪ 1... 2... 3... 4... ♪

- Okay. Either be quiet or get lost.

- That's uh... better.

- Hey! Have you seen Edwin?

- Nope. - How 'bout chips? We got any chips?

- Second drawer.

- Want some? - No thank you.

- 'kay, well, if you see Edwin, tell him that

I'm about to watch Toxic Werewolves From Mars.

Oh! We got any, uh...

Dip?

Ed!

Ed! Movie starts in 5!

'kay, this is weird.

Uh... you wanna catch that flick with me?

- Of course.

- Then move it. Cuz I don't want to miss the beginning

where the werewolf jumps out of the laundry hamper... he's like raaaah!

And the guy in the shower reaches for his towel,

but it's really the werewolf's fur. Ha!

Ed? [Thunder]

- Web cam's all set. - I've got picture.

- Operation Scare-Der starts now.

[Laughing dementedly]

- Sorry.

- We'll see who doesn't get scared.

Edwin!

- Ha! - Okay! Stop hiding now!

Someone please answer me!

Edwin? Lizzie? Anybody?

[Phone ringing]

- Hello. - Ha!

- Okay! Ha! Ha! Very funny!

You guys can come out now.

- Oh, we won't come out, but something else will!

- Alright, activate... The Banshee.

[High pitched sound] - Who's there?

Ah! Ah! Ah!

[Giggling] - My ears!

- This is one horror film I like!

- Ah! Oh!

[Edwin's laughing]

- Um... - What? He's faking.

- He better be or Mom is going to freak.

Derek! Oh no!

Oh no! Oh no. Derek, wake up!

[Screaming]

[Strange devilish laughing]

[Screaming]

[Door opening] [Screaming]

- What's happening?

- Nothing. Why do you ask?

- You... you... jerk! - Don't talk to me!

- Talk to the head. - Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah!

- You dirty double-crosser.

- Hey, at least I got Derek's respect.

- But you lost mine! - Easy come, easy go.

- You can run, but you can't hide!

Come back here you dirty rotten, lying faker!

- So the "Scare-Derek" didn't work?

- No! He already knew. - But of course.

[Thunder] - Ah!

[Door shaking]

- Uh... you guys expecting any company?

- No.

- Oh! Oh... There.

- Oh... Eeh! [Bip!]

The line is dead. - Oh!

[Water spattering]

- Ah! - The Plumber!

[Thunder] [Door opening]

[All screaming]

- Someone called a plumber?

[Derek's laughing]

[Both laughing]

- I almost was scared myself.

The plunger, nice touch. Oh!

- Oh, I knew you'd be impressed.

- George how could you?

Well, I already had the overalls...

[Laughing] And the water in the sink?

- That... that wasn't me. We really should get that fixed.

C'mon Nora! I just wanted to show you that...

that being scared could be fun.

- Well I didn't have fun.

- I did. - Me too.

- Derek, go to your room. And George... you!

Go back to your tax seminar!

- Oh, come on! Come on! - Get out! Get out! Oh yeah!

- Quite a night, huh?

- I guess.

- Don't tell me you weren't just a little scared tonight.

- Casey, just accept it. Unlike you, I don't get scared.

- You're lying.

- Oooooooooh!

- Oh!

Oh! There's a monster in my bed!

I better get it before it gets me! Aaaaah!

[Giggling]

- I'm home!

- You certainly are.

- I scared you, right?

- Oh! I was terrified!

Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! [Screaming and giggling]

Closed Captioning by SETTE inc.

- Have you seen any chips? - Secon...

- Derek, Edwin, you went too far...

- The pipes exploded! Spraying water every...

[Laughing]

So then he turned the water back on...

[Laughing] ...before he...

[Laughing] - Get it together, boy.

Alrighty!

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0