Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

- Time out, Derek! I need a water break.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Aaaah! Derek!

- Would you kids grow up? Play outside. I'm trying to read.

- Derek!

- Hey, hey, hey! - Ah!

- Dad, would you move? - Derek, settle down. - What?

- No water guns in the house. You wouldn't think I'd still have to say that at your age.

- Well, talk to Edwin, he started it. - Derek.

- What? - Edwin's 12 years old. You're almost 16.

- [Casey]: Mm-hmm! - Which is why he's such an easy target.

- Picking on a 12-year-old? Grow up!

- Yeah, Casey's right. Why don't you grow up?

Give me the Supersudser.

Give me the Supersudser!

Thank you.

- You're no fun! - Humph!

- [George]: Reach for the sky, Edwin! - [Edwin]: Oh, Dad! Grow up!

[Water sizzling] Aaah! Aaah! [George is laughing]

- [Edwin]: Aw, Dad! - You know, I don't need to grow up.

I shaved twice last week.

Okay, twice last month. - It's hard to believe

people think you're cool when you're just incredibly immature.

- You know, being immature is a choice, not a state of mind.

Whoa! Mouse! [Casey is laughing]

[Screaming]

- Ha! So you choose to act like a big baby?

[Moaning] - Ha! Ha! Ha!

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

use as Derek,

a pattern has emerged: he's Mister Chills and I'm Miss Freak-out.

So on the rare occasion Derek does lose his cool,

I have to milk the moment for more than it's worth.

Ha! Ha! Oh, I can't wait to tell the world

Derek's afraid of a tiny little mouse.

Ah, I will treasure the memory.

- I wasn't scared. I was startled.

- Hmm... Derek, look out! - Whoa!

- Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, oops! It's just a dust bunny.

Are you scared of bunnies too?

- You know, laugh in my face.

But be prepared to watch your back.

- Mouse for real! - Whoa!

- Ha! Ha! Ha! Kidding!

[Sighing]

- Ah! Ouch! - Ha! Ha!

- Classic Derek story for ya, Em.

- Hey. - Hi, Kendra!

- So which one of you is the new school super keener?

- I... I guess I am. But I'm not a super keener.

- Okay, then just a regular keener?

- Hey! I like to have fun, too! And homework can be fun.

- Yeah, you're the one. Um, I need a partner

for that poetry assignment.

Normally I would work with one of my friends,

but my parents want me to do well for a change.

- Well I'm flattered, I think?

But Emily and I always work together, so-- - Casey, can I talk to you?

The most popular girl in the grade ahead of us

wants to be your partner. Say yes because we really need this!

- We need what?

- An in to their lunch table, to their older cute guy friends,

to their parties.

- I like our lunch table.

Besides, who's going to be your poetry partner?

- Who cares! Casey, you're my best friend,

but your keener rep is staring to spill over onto me. Say yes!

- Okay, Kendra, I'll work with you.

- Isn't that great?

- So, what do you know about Elizabeth Barrett Browning?

- Absolutely nothing. You'll tell me all about her at lunch, okay, Stacey?

- Cool! See ya, Kendra!

- Um... it's Casey! - Whatevs.

- I love your shirt, Kendra.

- Thanks. We only shop in boutiques or vintage.

It's kind of a rule of ours.

- Really? Us too. We hate the mall!

- Then why have we spent the past 4 weekends there?

- Oh, you! She's kidding.

- So, Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

She lived in the 1800's and wrote the most amazing poetry.

In fact, her poetry is the reason the poet Robert Browning fell in love with her.

Isn't that the most...

- Ew-ah!

- Ew! - Ew!!

- Casey! What are you doing? - I know!

- There was a worm in my sandwich!

- That's disgusting! - I think I ate part of it!

- Gross. - Problem, Casey?

- [Girls]: Oh! Ew...

- Eat worms much?

- Only the gummy kind.

[Girls are laughing] - You know, that wasn't funny, Derek.

- Told you to watch your back, sis.

- So that was your brother? - Stepbrother.

Thankfully there's no genetic link. - Really?

This poetry project just got a little more interesting.

- Forget Kendra! I should be hanging around Derek!

And working on the project at your place.

- I know! It's one thing to use me for my brains,

but using me to get Derek? Now it's personal!

- Then it's settled. You'll dump Kendra!

- But I can't do that. - Why not?

- Because I've already made the commitment.

I'm just gonna have to keep Kendra focused

on the poetry project and not on Derek.

[Bell ringing]

- Lizzie's gerbil got out.

- But Lizzie's gerbil died.

- Uh...

Then it's walking dead.

- Ah, that's no dead gerbil.

That's a live mouse. - That's the second one in 2 days.

They usually show up when the weather gets cold.

- So you've had a mouse problem before?

- The mice visit us every winter.

- Yeah, but they're polite guests.

They don't eat much, they sleep in the walls and you won't even know they're here.

- It... it's okay, George. I'm not afraid of mice

And neither are my girls. - Really?

- Nah. - Okay, good. Good!

'Cause I was really afraid that you were gonna freak.

- Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh my! [Giggling]

- Ah, like son, like father.

- I was not scared. I wasn't scared.

I was just afraid I was going to step on our little guest, but...

- Daddy! - Maybe the mice do need different accommodations.

I'm gonna call the exterminator. - No! You can't!

Don't you know what exterminators do to mice?

- Yeah, they exterminate them. - You're so cruel!

- Look, Lizzie, the mice can't live in the house; they'll multiply.

- Can't we just find a nicer way to get the mice to move?

We don't have to... you know.

- You mean... [Snapping sound]

- Eek! - What if I caught them,

set them free outside and then plug the holes they use to get in?

- Ah, Nora? Nora, Nora? Can you help me out here?

- Sorry, George. Lizzie's very protective of animals.

I think we should give her a chance.

- Okay, fine, fine. But you've got a couple of days.

- Me and the mice thank you, George!

[Giggling] Yes!

- Eh! [Sighing]

- "I never gave a lock of hair away, to a man,

dearest, except this to thee."

[Sighing] Sonnet 18. My favorite.

- Hmm! - Of course, we all know the most popular Browning poem:

"How do I love thee, let me count the ways"...

- Seven? - What?

- I thought you were "counting the ways". I guessed 7.

[Sighing]

- Hey! Hey! My screen went blank.

- Probably 'cause someone pulled the power chord with a hockey stick.

- Der-ek! You can run, but you can't hide!

- So, apparently you can hide.

- You!

You... you here?

- [Casey]: Derek, where are you?

- Is she gonna be okay? - Oh, she... she okay never...

I... She... Ha! She's never okay.

- Are you gonna be okay?

- Oh, uh... - You!

You better hope my work is still there! Now get out!

- Okay.

Ow! Ha!

- Ha!

- Bye-bye.

- Ah! My work is gone!

I can't believe Derek! He is so immature!

- Yeah, uh...

He is. Um... Is he single?

[Edwin is shrieking]

- Mouse! Mouse!

In... the... cookie jar!

- Was it Howie or Mavis?

- Lizzie likes to name her animal friends.

- We had a special naming ceremony!

- Yeah, okay, well, either Howie and Mavis go, or I go.

- Fine. [Sighing]

Drop us a postcard when you get settled.

- Mouse! Mouse! Mouse! Mouse! Aaaah!

- Sorry about the computer glitch. Let's call it even.

- You erased my homework

and put a fake worm in my sandwich.

How is that even?

- I don't know. You're the mathlete.

So, um...

Yeah, uh... Kendra.

She uh... say anything about me?

- Yeah. She said you're incredibly immature.

So go cut and paste with Marti and leave me alone.

That'll learn him!

[Sighing] - What are you doing?

- Reading. - Comic book?

- Still counts. - No, no, it doesn't!

'Cause I asked you to do several things and not one of them involved reading comics.

- I'm doing things without being asked.

It's a sign of maturity! - But I asked you to clean the garage,

pass your French test and stop bugging Casey.

You did none of those things.

- See, I thought they were suggestions.

I didn't know they were orders.

- Derek, it's time to grow up.

You can't act like a 4-year-old forever.

- Hey, Dad, I at least act older than Marti.

- That's debatable.

[Loud rock music]

- You're cute.

Too bad you're so immature.

[Sighing]

- I should shave.

[Knocking] - Derek, you're gonna be late...

again. Ah!

- Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you there, Dad.

Well, I am showered, shaved and good to go.

- Showered? Shaved?

Good? - Mm-hmm.

- Alright, what did you do?

- I took your advice. I'm trying to act my age.

- Morning, Ed. - What's that supposed to mean?

What's wrong with him?

- He took my advice.

- Did anyone see my coral sweater?

- You know, I saw a peach-esque sweater...

on the bathroom door. - What did you do to it?

- Nothing. - If you dipped it in the toilet, I swear!

- Need some help, ladies? - [Marti]: We're not ladies!

- And you never help us! - Well, people change.

- Are you really Derek?

- Maybe his body was snatched

and that's just a zombie Derek.

- Let's get outta here! [Screeching]

- You girls have a lovely day.

- What's with Derek? - Well, he took my advice.

Decided to put in some effort, grow up a little.

- Aw, Georgie, that kind of change usually doesn't happen overnight.

- It's dry, it doesn't stink and there's nothing written on it.

- So that's coral!

Well, it's a lovely colour on you.

Anyway, I'm off, folks. I have to get to school early,

you know, catch up on a few things. Ta-ta.

- Who was that guy?

- That is the new and improved Derek.

He's trying to be more mature.

- And I think I know why.

[Whistling]

- Kendra. Nice morning, isn't it?

- Hardly. My day began with a parental lecture

on the merits of scholastic achievement.

- Well, maybe your parents are right. Study now, fun later?

- Right...

- I have some studies of my own to do.

Perhaps we should meet at the library later this evening.

- You mean like a study date?

- Ha! I assure you it will be more study than date, but...

Yeah.

- Sounds perfect.

- Looking forward to it.

[Sighing]

- Do you hear that?

- I don't hear anything.

- Not even a mouse. - Exactly.

Dinner in peace. I never thought I'd live to see the day.

- More chicken, anyone?

- Why? Put your "nose gold" in it?

- [Together]: Edwin, please.

- [Shouting]: It's too quiet!

[Normal]: Can I go shout in my room?

- Yeah. Sure. - Yes, may I also be excused, please?

I have a study date with Kendra.

- What? - You hear that, Nora? Derek has a study date.

- I'm impressed. - I'm annoyed.

Kendra should be helping me with our poetry project,

not studying with you!

- Well, I guess Kendra prefers to spend her time

with someone more... mature.

- Ugh! - Well, I have to go wash up. Excuse me.

- He's washing up! It's like I don't even know him!

- Don't worry, Edwin. Derek hasn't really changed.

He's just acting mature to impress Kendra.

- But I thought he took what I said to heart.

- Oh, honey! I...

I'm sure that's part of it. Right, Casey?

- Oh! Right!

Uh, but I wonder how long he's gonna keep it up.

You can't fake maturity.

- Well, sure you can. Dad's been doing it for years.

[Forced laugh]

- Ah! Mouse!

[Giggling]

- Here, Casey. I did this at the library last night.

- You actually studied on your study date?

- I had no choice. Derek wouldn't talk,

cause he was "respecting library rules".

- Derek respecting the rules? Really?

- I know. I have never gone out with a guy like that.

My parents would be so proud.

- Really? - Too bad I was so bored.

Remind me why I thought he was funny before?

- Well, forget about Derek. Let's just focus on our poetry assignment.

- Fine by me. We can go over what I did and finish

the project at my place so my parents see me studying

and I'd prefer not to see "Derek the Dull".

- That all sounds... great!

Hi! - Uh... good day?

- Funny day.

You should see how mature Derek's acting. It's hilarious!

- What's so hilarious about it? - 'Cause it's all an act!

I told him this girl Kendra thinks he's immature

and now he's all Mr. Neat-and- Tidy-Got-A-Study-Date-Guy.

- So you finally got back at him.

- I know! He's even keeping up the act at home,

thinking I'll tell Kendra he's all grown-up.

- Okay, but you would never do that, right?

- Oh yes, I would! 'Cause what I didn't tell him

is Kendra likes immature guys. [Both laughing]

- How funny is that? - Very, unless, of course,

uh, he has feelings for Kendra, in which case that would just...

be mean. - No. Mean is putting a worm in my sandwich.

- He did that? - Yeah! Course it turned out to be a fake worm.

- So, that's not so mean. - But, he also unplugged

my computer so I had to start my poetry project all over again!

- That is mean, but if Derek is...

is seriously interested in this girl, I mean,

don't you think messing with his mind would seem meaner?

- Please, Paul. Derek isn't seriously interested in anyone but himself.

- Yes, yes. Reminds me of someone.

can't put my finger on it, but... someone I know.

- Hmm! - Someone.

- Good evening, Casey.

Will you be meeting with your project partner?

- Yes! I'm on my way to Kendra's house right now.

Kendra was bored to tears on your study date,

so she kinda wants to steer clear of you.

- What? Uh, she said I was boring?

Uh, what were her exact words?

- Oh... well... maybe she didn't say boring, exactly.

I... I... I'm exaggerating a bit.

- How much?

- Derek, do you actually really like Kendra?

- You know me better than that. Just part of the act.

- Kendra? Hey, it's Casey.

I need a favor. Is there any way you could work at my house tonight?

I promise the person you didn't want to see won't be here.

- Oh, what's this? The "new mature" Derek eating

milk and cookies.

- Mmm. Want one? - Yeah.

So... so tell me about the girl.

Sources tell me you're not acting this way to impress me.

- Dad, I don't try and impress girls.

- Ha! Ha! Ha! Really?

Wow... I was always pretending to be

sophisticated in high school.

- Okay, maybe I did try and impress this girl,

but I totally blew it.

- Well, at least you tried.

You know, you put in an effort. I mean, that's a huge step for you!

- More like a huge mis-step.

- Why? - Didn't work at all.

She thought the "new" me was totally boring.

- Ah... well,

as much as I have enjoyed the peace and quiet around this house,

maybe you should go back to being yourself.

Because you might not have been mature,

but, ooh, you were never boring.

- Ah, that means a lot coming from, you know,

a mature, grown man with...

[Baby talk]: A major milk mustache. [Forced laugh]

- At least I can grow one.

[Laughing]

- Um, aren't I supposed to be distracted while you work?

- Work, work, work. Is that all you do? Let's have some fun!

[Squeaking] Ha! Ha! - What's with that?

- I've attached some fishing line to a toy mouse.

Derek should be home from hockey any second. - You said he wouldn't be here.

- The "dull" Derek won't. At least not for long.

You should see what happens when he sees a mouse!

[Door opens] [Squeaking]

- Oh... Casey said you...

Well, uh... later.

- Oh... mouse!

- You really think I'm gonna fall for that?

- Fall for what?

[Squeaking] Hey, it's moving!

- Gee, I wonder why?

You're not afraid of real mice,

and Kendra's not afraid of fake mice.

- Look who I found! Howie and Mavis!

- Who are Howie and Mavis? - Mice.

- Real ones?

- Don't worry, I'm gonna let them go outside.

- Can I... can I see them? Aw, they're so cute.

You know, Liz, I think it might be too cold for them outside.

[Kendra and Derek are shouting]

- Howie! Mavis! Come to mama. No!

- You look ridiculous!

- Yeah, well, I'm surprised you didn't break a window with that girly scream.

- Well, you're not looking so macho right now.

- Hey! I have an idea!

Why don't you two go for a walk while I finish the project?

- Well... you wanna ditch this mouse house?

- Definitely.

[Door closes]

[Door reopens] - Casey?

- Two things: One... thanks. And two...

Reach for the sky!

- Ah! Der-ek! Stop!

- Oh, hey Case, I forgot to thank you for the A+

on the poetry thing. My parents are over the moon.

Of course I know how they feel.

- So, you a big Browning fan like me now?

- Totally. Ahem!

"I never gave a lock of hair away to a man, dearest, except this to thee,

"Which now upon my fingers

thoughtfully, I ring out to its full brown length and say, take it."

- Um, I'm not really into the whole poetry thing.

- Yeah, Derek's more of a comic book type of guy.

- Oh! Really?

How cute is that? Ha!

- Guess that love poetry works after all.

Closed Captioning by SETTE ltée

[Laughing]

- I did the puzzle!

- And camera!

- Oh, sure, now you're happy!

- Well, may I... [Loud sound]

- I think they've come to pick us up.

[Laughing]

- ♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0