Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

[Jazz]: ♪ Once upon a time ♪ ♪ A new man came into town ♪

- Oh, not again. Come on, let's go upstairs.

- Wait a sec. Who is that goddess?

- Stepsister Casey. She's practicing for some dance competition. C'mon.

- But, but -- it's rude to leave in the middle of a song.

[Sigh] [Applause]

Yeah!

- Uh... Um... Edwin? Who's your friend?

- Jason. And we were just leaving.

- That was amazing. You are so gonna win that dance competition.

- You think? 'Cuz I'm actually kinda nervous about the whole thing.

- Anyhow, okay... Jason, let's go!

- Very nice making your acquaintance!

- Come on!

- Finished rehearsing? - Are you kidding?

I keep messing up the last combination.

- Oh, I'm sure you know it just fine, honey.

- Well, maybe you could watch one more time? Please?

- I'd love to watch it again.

[Jazz]: ♪ Once upon a time ♪ ♪ A new man came into town ♪

- What did I miss?

- ♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

ming for a live audience.

But beforehand? I'm freaked.

It's part of being a sensitive, artistic overachiever.

As opposed to insensitive, crude underachievers - like Derek.

Argh! I'm awful! I'm terrible!

I stink! - I couldn't agree more!

But there's no reason our couch should have to suffer for your mistakes.

- Derek, not a good time for jokes.

- What's wrong? Did Casey sprain her...

- Jazz hands.

- No! But d'you wanna see my jazz fists?

- Whoa, touchy.

- Um... No TV.

The dance competition's Saturday and I have to rehearse.

- Sorry dance studio closed. And the last time I checked,

the living room was considered shared space.

- Not before a dance competition.

- Casey! - Gimme that!

- Show me the routine in your room! Okay?

- Fine! But this isn't over!

Your selfishness will be punished!

Karma's gonna get you!

You think it's all about you. You're king of nothing!

- See you later.

What are you doing here? - Avoiding Derek. You?

- Avoiding Casey. She's driving me crazy!

I've watched her dance routine so many times I could do it.

- She always 'king of the drama queens' before she performs?

- Always. Before dance recitals, public speeches, plays.

C'mon, Casey you can't miss the play. You're the lead!

- But I am horribly miscast!

- No, you're not! Now, c'mon Annie - get your gun and let's go!

- Don't make me do it! This is all a terrible mistake! No! No!

- She's a wreck and then she totally nails it, every time.

- That was the best night of my entire life!

I can't wait 'til the next school play! [Horse neighing]

- I sure can.

- That's rough, sis. - I know, bro.

Anyway, she'll be back to normal after Saturday.

- Saturday?

The same day Derek's hockey playoffs start?

Oh, not good, not good at all.

That's why I've been avoiding him!

- But Derek didn't say anything about hockey playoffs.

And he didn't seem tense.

- Yeah, that's 'cuz we guys don't talk

about our feelings like you girls.

- Then what do you guys do?

- You know how Casey demands all this attention when she's nervous?

- Yeah. - Derek requires constant distractions.

- Alright kids, I'm ready to laugh. Starting... now!

- What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into the bar?

- What? - They shot my paw!

- Not funny. Next. - Why is six afraid of seven?

- Why? - Cuz seven eight nine!

- You call these jokes? - [Together]: Yeah.

- Alright, enough comedy. Marti: foot-rub. Edwin: Sandwich.

- No thanks, I'm not hungry.

- That's funny. Now go.

- Then after his game, he's back to being a great guy.

- Derek's a great guy?

- Well, briefly. Right after his team wins.

- And the first star? Me!

[Screaming in celebration]

Pizza's on Dad! - [Together]: Whoa!

- For the next two days Casey and Derek are gonna be freaked out at the same time?

- Be afraid. Be very afraid.

- Well, hopefully our parents will protect us from the drama-teens.

- Yeah.

- And then I got to the part about...

- Has anyone seen my briefs? - Yeah. Check the basket in the laundry room.

- No, I don't mean my underpants briefs. My legal briefs. I have a major trial on Monday.

- Yeah, I know! Check the basket in the laundry room, honey.

- Good.

- Mom? - Ah, in -- in a sec, Lizzie.

I -- I gotta huge client meeting and I've gotta finish this.

- So dinner's delayed? - Dinner?

What are we having? - Usually you tell us!

- Oh! Dinner! I forgot!

Uh... I'll go order a pizza.

- Nora was right. The report was in the laundry basket. Ha ha.

Did I miss dinner? - Nora's ordering it now.

- Ah, good. Give me time to go over some of this.

- Dad, we need to talk. - Okay, I'm listening, Ed.

- Alright, it's about Casey and Derek.

You see, right now they're both freaked out

'cause of Derek's hockey playoffs and Casey's recital...

And right now they are both panicking and they're both

on edge and everything is going haywire.

[His voice echoes to the sound of a sitar]

So what do you think?

- That's a great idea, Ed. Yeah, you do that.

- Lizzie, we're on our own.

- I'm afraid. Very afraid.

Go Casey go!

Go Casey go! Go Casey!

- Pepperonis for sale! - Dad, you're coming Saturday, right?

- To...? - To my hockey game at eleven?

- Right, of course, of course. We wouldn't miss that for the world.

-Good to know who the favorite is.

- Oh, was there ever any doubt?

- What about my dance competition? It's also at eleven!

- Then Lizzie and I will come see you.

- I will? - Yeah, yeah.

Edwin, Marti and I will come and see you. - I will?

- Don't we have a say in this? - Yeah! I have plans Saturday!

- You'll be glad to hear my schedule's clear!

- But, Liz, I have to have you there, like always.

- And Edwin, you will be at my hockey game Saturday. Period.

- They totally take us for granted! - Totally!

- What about my tae kwon do on Saturday? We're breaking boards with our feet!

- Saturday's my "me" time! I like to watch cartoons in my PJs!

- You deserve your "me" time! - Yeah!

Being the middle child stinks!

- I used to be the cute little sister. Now I'm stuck in the middle... with you!

- [Marti from downstairs]: Edwin, Derek wants you right now!

- Well -- I'm not coming!

- [Marti]: Fine! Then I'm telling!

- Alright! I'm coming!

- Hang tough, bro. Hang tough.

- You too, sis.

- Ed -- slap shot practice, now!

I don't wanna be a human target! Use Marti!

- That would be cruel.

- Lizzie, c'mere.

I know how I can stop worrying about the dance competition.

- Does it involve me? - Of course!

We'll crank the music and clean the house! Won't that be fun?

♪♪ We're too busy having fun ♪

♪ We would only stop for lunch ♪

♪ You're my best friend, next to none ♪♪

- How was hockey? - Unfortunately, Derek has very bad aim.

Or very good aim, depending on how you look at it.

- Brutal. I think I sprained my mop wrist.

- Derek is out of control! - So is Casey!

But, what choice do we have?

- None? - Exactly. Unless... we rebel.

- But if I stand up to Derek, he'll just push me back down!

- We middle children have been taken for granted too long.

The time has come to take a stand!

Are you with me?

- I'm with you.

Ow.

- Uh... Too nervous to sleep last night.

Mom, could you make me one of your special

soy, wheat germ and fruit shakes?

- Can't. Late.

Love ya'.

Bye!

- Liz, could you make me one of Mom's special soy wheat germ and fruit shakes?

- Sure. - Ahem.

- Surely I should get ready for school.

- But I feel so weak.

- Sorry Case, but...

I've developed this irrational fear of blenders.

[High pitched screaming]

- I get no support from this family.

- I do. Ed, cereal.

- It's in the cupboard. - Great! Get it, pour it,

milk it. - Ahem.

- You know what, Derek? Milk your own cereal!

- What did you just say?

- I... I, actually...Actually...

- He said milk your own cereal!

- Did he actually just say no to me?

- Join the club. Lizzie said no to me, too.

- I never thought I'd have to resort to this.

- Pouring your own cereal? - No.

Marti! Cereal! Now!

- [From upstairs]: Coming Derek!

- I am so nervous, I haven't felt like eating all day.

- Do you want half? - Thanks.

My family's usually

totally supportive, but my Mom's flipped about work

and Lizzie's just... stopped caring.

It doesn't sound like the Lizzie you told me about.

- I know! This morning I asked her to make me a simple little milkshake and she refused.

How selfish is that?

- Well, actually, I've -- I've - I've heard worse...

- But Lizzie's always there for me.

Especially during my pre-performance bouts of nervousness!

- Okay, would you say you're... demanding when you're nervous?

- Maybe a little.

Okay I'm a total nightmare, but that's when a little sister comes in handy!

- I used to take advantage of my little brother, Bernie, too,

like during high school exams.

I would make Bernie stay up all night and study with me.

- What's wrong with that? - He was eight.

- Well, I'm not taking advantage of Lizzie!

And I'm not being selfish! - Okay.

- And I don't need criticism, especially when I'm so vulnerable!

- Okay. - Please stop saying okay. Okay?

- Al-- alright!

- Ed, jacket, now.

- Oh, please report to my room after dinner.

I'd like to discuss... the, ah, breakfast incident.

- Aye-aye, sir.

- [Together]: Yeah.

- You wanna come see my routine again?

- Can't! I have to uh...

- C'mon, Liz. You were going to help me with that origami assignment.

- Origami? My foot.

- Thanks, I nearly froze.

- No problem, I got your back.

- That was awesome! I think we're ready for Middle Child Rebellion Phase Two:

the parents. - Let's do it!

- Hey, Lizzie, can I do my window-treatment presentation for you?

- No, thank you. - Okay. Well, do you have time to finish the dinner dishes?

- It's Casey's turn.

Yeah, I know, but she's a little stressed so she's meditating and

you have always been my special little helper.

- Well, not any more. I'm growing up.

- Ed, listen. I've got some more work to do. Do you mind putting Marti to bed?

- [Marti]: I'm not tired yet.

- Oh, I don't know. Isn't that a dad's job?

- Yeah, but you can help out.

- Sorry, Dad. My favorite show's on.

Planned my whole evening around it.

- Ah, well...

took three stories, two tickles and all the change in my pocket,

but I finally got Marti to bed.

- Hm.

- I asked Edwin to help? He flat out refused.

- That's curious. Lizzie refused my request to do the dishes.

- Hm.

Edwin and Lizzie have never been the rebellious types. Ya...

I don't know, you think they're having trouble at school? - Ah George,

we are so thick.

I know exactly what it is.

Hey, lizard.

- Mom, look...

I'm sorry I wouldn't do the dishes before

but... I had my reasons.

- I know exactly how you're feeling.

- You do? - Yeah!

You said it yourself: you're growing up.

Adolescence is a time for changes.

Emotional, physical, hormonal.

- Hormonal?

- Yeah. Hormones are kinda like, ah,

well, they're kinda like emotional pimples, you know?

They -- they mess with your head!

And that's exactly why you wouldn't do the dishes!

- Mom, my hormones are not the reason why I wouldn't do the dishes!

- Really? 'Cuz, ah, getting mad at me

is just another symptom of puberty and your hormones are...

- Mom, please stop saying that word!

- What word? Hormones or puberty? -Uh! Mom! Stop!

- Puberty!

- Hey, Ed. - Hey.

- Hey! - Um, Ed...

I, um, I think it's time for a chat.

Man to man.

- Dad, are you having another mid-life crisis?

- No -- no Ed!

No, this is about you...

becoming a man.

- A - a what?

- Surely they've taught you something in school

about, um, puberty?

- Yes! So you don't have to talk

about it. Really I'm begging you -- don't.

- Yeah, but did they discuss,

you know, how your - your voice is changing?

Your skin is spotty and

there's hair in places where there wasn't hair before.

- What's that, Derek? You want to take slap shots at my head?

Coming! - Ahhhh!

- Alright Ed. What's going on?

First you didn't pour my cereal

and then I find my jacket on the floor...

with footprints.

- Really? How did that happen?

- Look, I won't tolerate any more of this insubordination from you, okay?

Especially before the hockey playoffs.

- Yeah, sorry, but I gotta go. - Hey! How did you do that?

- I don't know!

So dad, about this puberty thing...

- Ah, Dad, phone.

- Really? I didn't hear it ring.

[Grunting]

[Whistling] - [Lizzie]: Coming!

So what's the nine-one-one?

- Hey! I was trying to meditate!

- There's nobody on the phone.

- See ya!

- Dad, what is going on with Edwin?

- What's going on with Liz?

- Well, Nora and I figured it out... puberty.

- All of a sudden? - At the same time.

- Well, maybe the puberty of one kick started the puberty of the other.

You see, at their age, hormones...

- Yes, Dad. We already had the puberty talk, remember?

- Oh yeah. How awkward was that?

Come on people!

Puck drops, dance starts in an hour! Derek! Casey!

- I'll get Edwin and Lizzie.

- Thanks, Marti. - [Screeching]: Lizzie! Edwin!

- Mom! I am totally blanking Does my routine start on the downbeat or the upbeat?

- Down. Now let's go, we're late!

- Lizzie! Why are you dressed for tae kwon do? - Cuz I'm going to tae kwon do!

- But this is Casey's competition day.

Don't you want to be there to support her?

- No, I wanna break a board with - my foot!

- But you have to come. I need you.

- No! And stop making me feel bad!

- Oh, guess some older sibs inspire more loyalty than others.

- Edwin, what are you doing in your pajamas?

- Getting ready to watch cartoons.

- Ah, but you're supposed to be cheering me on to victory, you little weasel!

- Guess I'm not the only one with a disloyal sib.

- Dad, you have to tell him he has to go! Edwin's

my good luck charm! I am very superstitious!

- Edwin, we should support Derek.

- You support Derek because I'm sick of being taken for granted by you two!

"Edwin, make me a sandwich! Edwin put Marti to bed! Edwin balance my checkbook!"

- He balances our checkbook? - He's very good at it.

- Derek, find yourself another target,

punching bag, tackling dummy and good luck charm!

- Can I be a good luck charm? Please, please, pleeeease!

- Sorry, Smarti, but it's Ed or nothing!

- Edwin, listen, I understand your concerns, but can we talk about it later on tonight?

We have to get going now, please!

- You can. I'm not.

- You work on Ed, I'll work on Lizzie. - Fine.

- No, I will, Mom.

This is a switch. Usually I'm the one freaking out.

- No comment.

- Liz, am I selfish?

- No comment. - Lizzie, please. Talk to me.

- Well, usually you're not selfish.

But before a competition you get all wound up and we all have to suffer!

Especially me!

- You mean, I'm a high-maintenance sister? - Very high!

But usually it's worth it.

- So does that mean you'll come today?

- Nope. I'm going to tae kwon do. I hope you understand.

- Lizzie's not coming. - What?

But she can't go to tae kwon do by herself.

- I'll go with her. - What about your cartoons?

- I'm willing to make the sacrifice for Lizzie.

- Oh, but not for me! Oh you... little...

- See ya'!

- Three, two, one...

Cold out there, huh, Ed.

Who are you?

- I'm Jason.

And you must be the tyrannical Derek.

- Oh, so that's what he calls me?

- Hi Edwin. - Hi Jason.

- Shouldn't we be leaving for, ah, Casey's dance competition?

- Yes we should. And, uh...

will you be joining me?

- Definitely! - Okay.

Derek, would you let Edwin and Jason go and would someone

please get in the car!

- Alright, you're gonna squash me aren't you?

- No, I'm gonna thank you, dude!

You totally helped me get over my pre-game nerves.

I'm ready to score some goals! Yeah!

- Alright then. You're welcome.

- C'mon everyone. In the car! - Hey wait!

I'm not nervous either!

Thinking of Lizzie instead of myself actually worked.

- Whatever gets you out of the house. C'mon gang!

- Finally. - Girls and their nerves.

[Throwing up] - Happens every time.

- You were poetry in motion, Casey!

Way better than that second place loser!

- You mean your cousin, Jenna? - Well?

- First place in the intermediate jazz.

- I knew you could do it.

- How bout that board in tae kwon do?

- Snapped like a twig. - Ah! Way to go!

- I have two very talented daughters.

- And the first star is me!

Ha ha! - Yeah!

And Derek scored the game-winning goal!

- And I'm a lucky charm!

- Oh, she sure is! Congrats Ed, you're fired. - Sweet!

- Well, let's all go grab some pizza. Whoo! Dad's treat!

- [Marti]: Yeah, pizza!

- Ah, you wanna come Jason?

- Yeah, I could eat.

- Come on.

- I'm okay folks.

- [Crew]: Back to one.

- I understand exactly what... [Bee buzzing]

- I want to thank you Dude! - you....

[Beeping]

- Wow!

- Am I being silly? - Bravo!

Closed Captioning by SETTE ltée

♪♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0