Original subtitles

[twinkling music]

[twinkling music]

♪♪♪

- Guess I'm not big on the whole "think first act later" thing.

- And I'm way too big on it.

I don't believe it! Am I really having a normal conversation with

the bane of my existence, A-K-A Derek?

I mean, usually we're like this.

- Casey. Put that down.

- Make me. - Fine. Don't.

But prepare to be shampooed.

- I've seen your 'bathroom aim' before.

No way you hit the target.

- Oh, yeah? - Ah!

And I promised my mom everything would be fine.

- Yeah, I promised my dad too.

Guess I'm living down to expectations.

- But, maybe it'll be okay.

It's not like it's total chaos.

[ Screams and loud voices ]

♪ Used to be my mother and my sister and me ♪

♪ A happy little family and all right with me ♪

♪ But Mom got married that's when everything changed ♪

♪ Some things were lost and others were gained ♪

♪ A new school, a new house ♪

♪ So many changes it makes my head spin ♪

♪ Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Derek ♪

♪ This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George and Nora, Marti and Casey ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

♪ Living life with Derek ♪

How did this happen? How Does a person who prides

herself on being in total control lose it?

Why am I sitting on the bathroom floor?

Why is there an out-of-control party in my living room?

The answer to all of these questions could only be... Derek.

Stupid door won't stupid open, because it's just so--

- Stupid.

Casey, the doorknob's been busted all night.

I don't think it's just gonna magically work now.

- You're right you don't think.

In fact, you never use your head.

So maybe we should use it to knock down the door.

- You need to calm down.

Take a magazine.

Have a seat. Everything's gonna be fine.

[ Crashing sounds downstairs. ] - Whoa-oa yeah!

- Does that sound fine?

How could I have let this happen?

If only I could turn back the clock to the exact moment when my mom said:

- We're going away for the weekend.

- N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no! This all started when

you hogged the remote again.

- Thanks! - Excuse me!

- Give it. - Let go!

- Fight, fight, fight! - Hey, hey! Hey, hey! That's enough.

That's enough. Hey Nora! Nora!

A little back up here. - All right! Everybody!

- That's it! - Time out!

- Time out? - Mom, we're not six!

- What's wrong with being six?

- Nothing, Marti.

- Can't you two work things out without fighting?

I mean, what kind of an example are you setting for Marti?

- A bad one. - It's not my fault Derek has remote rage.

- Oh, and it's not my fault you moved in here in the first place.

- Oh, that's much better.

- I'm sorry, Mom, but I don't see an end to this fighting.

Derek and I don't like each other.

- Yeah, won't fight with you there!

- And we will continue to fight and not like each other until

I leave for university while Derek sits on this couch

deciding which correspondence career path to take.

- Well, unfortunately we can't

wait that long because we're going away for the weekend.

- Really? That's great! 'Cause you guys totally deserve a vacation.

- Vacation? Cool! Where are we going?

- Ah, Edwin, we're not going anywhere.

But, uh, Nora and I are going to a bed and breakfast for the weekend.

- We have beds and breakfast here.

- W... well, Lizzie, your Mom and I, we, um,

we barely had a honeymoon and, uh, we need some time alone.

- Okay, so, I don't want you

giving Missus Higgenbotham a hard time.

- Missus Higgenbotham?!

- You didn't think we'd leave you guys overnight

without a babysitter, did you? [ Laughter ]

- Babysitter?! - Mom, I'm 15.

I've been baby-sitting since I was 12.

It's time to take the next step. You can trust me.

- Trust us!

- Two seconds ago you guys were wrestling for a remote.

And we're supposed to leave you in charge, together?

- I call a truce.

- What are you talking about?

- I'm talking about you and me getting along.

- Let's be realistic. Is that ever gonna happen?

- If getting along with you will get our parents

out of the house for the weekend, it has to happen.

- You think we can solve our differences just like that?

- No.

But we can pretend to.

- You mean hold our noses and get along?

- Exactly.

- Morning, Mom. Derek would you like mustard or mayonnaise

on your sandwich? - Um, both please. And would you like

soy milk in your cereal? - Yes, thank you, I would.

- Okay, what's going on?

- I'm making the lunches and Derek's helping with breakfast.

- It looks like our house.

- The bathroom doorknob is broken.

- Since when?

- Since Marti started sticking her ABC gum in it.

- Already been chewed.

- [Marti]: I gotta go!!! - Okay!

Better let Marti in the bathroom before it gets messy in the hall...

Derek, can you set the table? - I am setting the table.

- Yeah, you are setting the table!

You two aren't having your early morning fight? What's going on?

- Well, we're just acting responsibly and we're getting along

with each other.

- Excellent!

- [Marti]: I gotta go!!!

- Think you can tone it down a bit?

They're gonna know we're acting!

- No, they won't! - Yes, they will!

- No, they won't!

Casey, what would you like to watch?

- Oh, no Derek, you choose. - No, I insist...

- And I insist you two cut it out.

- Like, how naive do you think we are?

You're obviously pretending to get along.

- George and I discussed it.

We're not going very far, and, um, although it was forced

and contrived, you two did manage to work together without fighting.

And, um, Casey, you've always been responsible-

- And Derek you've always been... good at sports.

Now's your chance to show you're responsible too.

- Wait, does that mean that we get to...?

- No babysitter. - Ha! Ha! Ha!

- Marti's gonna come with us, just so you don't have

too much to handle and, um...

if all goes well, we might do this again... - Mm hm.

Maybe even without Marti.

But if all goes wrong, then it's Mrs. Higgenbotham for life!

Now, this is a big step for you two,

so you better make the most of it.

- Oh, trust me, Dad, we will.

- Ah, clicker, Derek.

There's a good Hugh Grant movie on.

- Ah. - Don't tell Georgie, but I like Hugh!

[ Crashing sound ]

- Why do I have to go with you?

- Because we can't imagine a second honeymoon without you, sweet pea.

Ah, okay, We're going to call to check in every two hours,

you've got all the emergency numbers, you, uh, uh,

the first-aid kit and you know what to do in case of a fire.

- Uh, save your jewelry?

Stop, drop, and roll. Call 9-1-1.

It's okay, mom. I've babysat before.

Everything'll be fine, I promise.

- I, I know it will.

- Now, here's my cell phone in case of emergency.

Nora has hers, so if anything happens--

- Blame Casey. I know, I'll call.

- Derek, I really went to bat for you here.

Now, I promised Nora that you can handle this.

You can handle this, right?

- Yes I can handle this. I promise.

I don't know why you don't just trust me.

It'll be some great family bonding.

Alright, this is how it's gonna work.

Edwin, Lizzie, you got to stay in your rooms.

Casey, stay out of my sight. - Excuse me?!

- Why do we have to stay in our rooms? - You don't.

Emily's coming over tonight. We're watching movies.

- Then you might want to take the TV upstairs,

'cuz I kinda need the space down here.

- For what? [ Doorbell ] - I'll get it!

- Is this where the party is?

- Hey, how ya doin'?

All right, drinks are back there.

- How could you? - Easy. Open bag, pour, serve.

- You're having a party and you didn't tell me?!

I thought we were watching a movie! I'm wearing sweats!

- It's not my fault! Derek did it without telling me!

- He did? That is awful!

Hey Derek. Cool party.

- Thanks.

- Guys, could you not erase my saved game?

It's taken me a year to get to level nine.

That's like ten per cent of my life.

- Move.

- Come on, move it!

- Ew.

Gross. Uhh...

[ Cheering ]

- I can't believe you?!

We promised our parents we wouldn't let them down.

Trashing the house definitely falls under that category.

- Casey, calm down.

They won't even know, it's just a few friends.

And a few friends' friends.

- Well get your friends' friends out of here before this gets out of hand!

- It won't get out of hand!

- Time for a dance floor!

- I hope.

- Wooh! [ Laughter ]

- I saw this guy touching tongues with the girl, it was gross.

- Give it a couple years. - I'm giving you ten minutes

to get everyone out of here before I do it myself.

In the meantime you two go upstairs.

- But I was making friends! - Go!

- Fine by me.

Teenagers are freaks.

- Okay, I know the party's a little bigger

than I expected, but c'mon, lighten up!

You're 15 going on 50.

C'mon Casey!

Don't you ever want to live a little... dangerously?

- So Emily wanted me to go to this neo-pop-punk concert thing

but I figured if I go, it'll totally throw off my study schedule.

- Casey, Casey, most teenagers don't ever think about the consequences.

But don't you ever want to just...

You know... - What?

- Cut loose! Cut loose and have some fun?

- Cut loose? - Yeah. - No.

But I have fun all the time.

- Oh, really, really. When?

- Um... Well, what's more fun than leading

a well organized and structured lifestyle?

- Ha! Ha! Ha! Are you, are you kidding?

- No.

[ Bell rings ]

- I was totally confused. How does this work?

- Away! Old!

This sucks!

- Maybe we should hide.

- Don't worry about it Lizzie, teenagers are nothing to be afraid of.

Besides, if we're going to become them someday, we need to observe their behaviour.

You know, like scientists study wild animals on the Nature Channel.

- This is all garbage! Who buys this stuff? - That's it!

All right, people! Party's over! Sorry no loot bags.

- No, no, no, no! Everything's okay! Party on!

[ The crowd cheers ]

Casey, what are you trying to do?

- I'm trying to get people out of here!

- Well, why can't you try to have fun?!

- Fine. But I won't like it!

- That guy wants to talk to the cute girl who's throwing the party!

- Emily, I'm trying to get people out of here.

This is not the time to be talking to a...

really cute guy. - Hey!

This is a cool party. Do you wanna go dance?

- Observe the normal female teenager in her habitat.

- That's no normal female teenager. That's Casey.

- Yeah, my parents leave me in charge all the time.

- Dude, the bathroom doorknob's broken.

And I really gotta go.

- Okay, I'll get my daaaa--

I mean, my tool belt.

- I see you around school.

You don't seem like the throw-a-party kinda girl.

- Really? I love to have fun. Wait?!! You can't go upstairs!!

- Yeah! - Stop that! - Do it!

- Come back here!

Clean that up!

Go to my room and stay there. Now!

Derek! - Don't shut the... door.

- You started this party so you have to stop it now!

- Well that's gonna be kinda tough

since...

We're locked in the bathroom!

- What are you talking about?!

We're locked in the bathroom!

- Mmm hmmm. - What are we gonna do?!

I can't supervise what's going on down there from in here!...

Okay, don't panic, at least Emily's down there.

- Oh yeah, Casey and I throw parties all the time.

- Yeah? - Mm hmm.

- Help, we're locked in!

This is a disaster! - I know.

The party of the year and we're locked in the bathroom.

[ Scream and crashing sounds downstairs ]

- We've gotta call for help, now.

- Uh, okay, but, but not our parents.

- Then who?!

- A rocking party in our own house and Casey sticks us here?!

She is so mean! Well, you know what?

We can be mean too!

[ Phone rings ]

Macdonald-Venturi residence.

- Edwin, we're locked in the bathroom! We need your help!

- Yeah. Let me think about that... No!!!

- Put Lizzie on the phone...

- Hello?

- Someone has to go downstairs and calm down the crowd.

Or find Emily and bring her upstairs.

- But it's scary down there.

What if they want to pierce me in weird places?

- Put Edwin on the phone!

- Hello?

- Edwin, I don't care how you do it, just calm the crowd

and I'll give you my allowance for a month. - Deal!

If I don't come back, half my stuff goes to you.

[ Cash box bell ] - What about the other half?

- Your attention please!

Behold the wonders of the Incredible Edwino!

Pick a card, any card!

- King of dorks!

- Um, I see we... have a joker!

- Let's shave his head! - Emily, help!

- Kinda busy here.

- Get him!

- Lizzie, just try and pull the doorknob off.

- I can't! It just spins.

I think it's broken!

- We know it's broken.

- Hey Derek! I didn't know you were friends

with guys on the senior hockey team.

- I'm not. - You are now! - Uh... what? Edwin!

Get them out of here. - Forget it!

There's no way I'm going back down there!

They're gonna shave my head! Teenagers are freaks.

- Let's hide in the attic. - Good call!

- Lizzie, comme back here!

- Edwin! I'm gonna pound you! [ Door slam ]

- Let's play hockey! - Who's got a puck?!

- We have to call our parents. The house could get wrecked!

- No. It's too late. You should've

called earlier! I-I-I can't deal with my dad now.

[ Cell phone ]

Hello? Dad?!!!

Party? Who said we're having a... a party?

No friends. Just a... a small study group.

Dad, Dad, you're breaking up...

I can't believe it. He assumed I'd have a few friends over.

Well, I can't have him calling back.

- You can't turn that off! What if there's an emergency?!

- He shoots, he scores!!!

- Give me the phone, I'm calling George back!

- No! - Yes! - No!

- Yes! This party has to stop.

- Calm down. - Calm down?

I hate it when people tell me to calm down!

It makes me very tense!

- Casey. Put that down.

- Make me.

- Fine, don't!

But prepare to be shampooed!

- I've seen your 'bathroom aim' before. No way you hit the target.

- A party? How come I wasn't invited?

- Not now! I'm busy!

- Uh, Emily.

[ Sound of truck honking ] Have you seen my children?

- Ha! Ha! Ha!

- Ho! Ah!

- It's official! You've driven me crazy.

- Yeah? Well, it wasn't a far drive.

I can't believe you just laughed at that.

I heard that one from Edwin.

Guess I have driven you crazy. Sorry.

- Wait, did you just say "Sorry?"

- No. Why would I?

- No reason.

And I promised my mom everything would be fine.

She's gonna be so disappointed in me.

- Yeah, I promised my dad too.

Guess I'm living down to expectations.

- But maybe it'll be okay.

It's not like it's total chaos.

[ Screams and slamming door ]

- Probably shouldn't have thrown a party the first time

our parents went away for the weekend.

- Then why did you? - I don't know. It's...

It's like people expect me to mess up, so I do.

But don't worry, I, I'm sure they'll just blame me. You'll be fine.

- Thanks.

But it was actually kinda fun. Before it got nuts.

- Um... Why is it all quiet downstairs?

You don't think the police came and cleared out the place, do you?

- Better them than our parents.

[ Efforts ]

- Study group? Oh please.

As soon as we heard that, we turned around and came home.

- How could you let this happen?

And why didn't you call!

- Well, things got a little out of hand.

- A little? There was a hockey game in the living room!

Edwin and Lizzie went into hiding.

I mean, this house is trashed!

You know, Derek, despite my better judgement,

I trusted you! You really let me down.

- Both of us. - Wait!

Why do you assume it was all Derek's fault?

Maybe I had something to do with the party.

- What? - What? - What?!

- You had something to do with this?

- Yes.

- Well, if you're both responsible

then you can both clean up this mess... now.

- We'll talk about this later.

- Casey--

- It's okay, you don't have to say anything.

- Yeah, I do.

You really surprised me tonight.

I can't believe that you bought my sob story.

You are such a sucker!

Good luck.

- What?

What?

Derek! I cleaned the living room! The least you can do is take out the trash!

- Fine. - Here it is.

- What are you doing? Oh, No!

- Sucker.

Closed captioning: Technicolor, Creative Services - Montreal

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0