Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY ON...

I THINK YOU'RE A LOUSY MOTHER. GABY WAS INSULTED.

DID YOU JUST SAY THAT TO MY FACE?

I CLOSED THE DOOR TO ASK

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE MY NEW SENIOR V.P.

LYNETTE CHOSE NOT TO MENTION HER PREGNANCY. OH!

YOU GET TO STAY IN SCHOOL.

SUSAN TRIED TO PROTECT JULIE.

YOU SHOT ME!

THAT GUN IS UNDER OUR REAL NAME.

I WANNA CALL THE POLICE. UH, JUST...

AND ANGIE HAD TO PROTECT HER SECRET.

HIGH ROAD ALL THE WAY. THAT'S A GOOD POINT.

MM-HMM.

(Mary Alice) BREE HODGE HAD A PROBLEM.

SHE DID NOT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE

WITH KARL MAYER.

SHE WAS APPALLED BY HIS TABLE MANNERS...

WHAT?

HIS PERSONAL ETHICS...

WHAT?

AND HIS WANDERING EYE.

WHAT?

NO, BREE DID NOT WANT TO FALL FOR KARL MAYER,

AND YET SHE KNEW IN HER HEART

THAT SHE WAS STARTING TO.

AND THAT'S WHY SHE ALSO KNEW

THE TIME HAD COME...

WE HAVE TO TALK. TO LEAVE.

(laughs) HEY, WHAT'S WITH THE FACE? YOU DUMPING ME?

KARL...

OH, MY GOD. YOU ARE DUMPING ME.

WE'VE BOTH KNOWN THIS COULDN'T LAST FOREVER,

SO LET'S END IT NOW BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT.

BUT IT'S GOING SO WELL.

I FEEL WE'RE GETTING CLOSER. WE ARE.

THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

WHEN I AGREED TO BE YOUR LOVER, I FELT QUITE SURE

THAT MY DISDAIN FOR YOUR VULGARITY

AND ASTOUNDING LACK OF SCRUPLES

WOULD PRECLUDE ANY CHANCE OF MY DEVELOPING FEELINGS FOR YOU.

BUT AGAINST ALL REASON,

IT'S HAPPENING.

I DON'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A MAN

I'M NOT EVEN SURE I LIKE.

I'M GLAD WE'RE BEING CAREFUL ABOUT NO ONE GETTING HURT.

PLEASE, LET'S NOT MAKE THIS ANY HARDER THAN IT HAS TO BE.

OKAY.

YOU SAY WE'RE DONE, WE'RE DONE.

I WAS GONNA WAIT TO GIVE YOU THIS LATER,

MAYBE OVER DINNER OR SOMETHING.

I GUESS NOW IT'S SORT OF A PARTING GIFT.

I COULDN'T.

OPEN IT.

(gasps) (chuckles)

IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

OH, AND IT'S INSCRIBED.

"TO MY DEAR AND BELOVED... IRENE"?

IRENE WAS MY GRANDMOTHER.

MY GRANDPA GAVE IT TO HER ON THEIR FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.

OH.

WELL, SHE HAD NO GRANDDAUGHTERS, SO SHE WILLED IT TO ME.

SHE SAID, "SOMEDAY YOU'LL FIND

THE PERFECT WOMAN TO GIVE THIS TO," AND SHE WAS RIGHT.

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

I'M--I DIDN'T PLAN ON FALLING FOR YOU, EITHER.

AND I DON'T BLAME YOU

FOR WANTING TO RUN THE OTHER WAY.

AND FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH...

I LOVE YOU.

AND IN THAT MOMENT,

BREE KNEW THAT THE TIME TO LEAVE HER LOVER HAD COME...

AND GONE.

ANN PETERSON

WAS THE PRINCIPAL OF FAIRVIEW ELEMENTARY SCHOOL,

AND SHE BELIEVED IN RULES.

SHE USED THEM TO TEACH HYGIENE,

TO CONTROL BEHAVIOR

AND TO INSTILL ORDER.

YES, MRS. PETERSON BELIEVED IN RULES.

SHE ALSO BELIEVED

THAT THOSE WHO DIDN'T FOLLOW THEM

SHOULD BE PUNISHED.

OKAY, THE CAMERA IS ROLLING.

ARE THERE ANY WORDS YOU'D LIKE TO SAY

BEFORE YOUR DAUGHTER MAKES HER STAGE DEBUT?

LET US PRAY. GABY, JUANITA IS GOING TO SEE THIS.

OH, TRUST ME, THIS IS NOT FOOTAGE YOU'RE GONNA WANNA KEEP.

WELL, I'M SORRY. I TRIED TO WORK WITH HER.

BUT YOU MAY AS WELL KNOW YOUR DAUGHTER IS TALENT-FREE.

SHE IS ONLY 7. HOW BAD COULD SHE BE?

WELL, I'VE ALREADY LOOKED THROUGH THE PROGRAM

TO PICK OUT A KID WE CAN PRETEND IS OURS.

I LIKE PAIGE GLOVER. I'M GONNA BE HER MOMMY.

(piano playing)

MY NAME IS MILES STANDISH.

WE HAVE COME TO SHARE WITH YOU OUR BOUNTY.

AND TO GIVE THANKS

FOR THIS NEW LAND,

WHERE WE ARE FREE FROM RELIGIOUS PERSKACOOTION.

(laughter)

UH, UH, UM...

WHICH ONE IS PAIGE GLOVER? (whispers) SHH, SHH.

RELIGIOUS PERSPACOTION.

UM...

WHERE WE ARE FREE FROM RELIGIOUS...

(whispers) PERSECUTION!

READ THE CORN! I WROTE IT ON THE CORN!

(sighs)

PER--PERSKA... PROSSA...

AW--

AT THAT MOMENT,

JUANITA SOLIS CHOSE TO UTTER A CERTAIN 4-LETTER WORD...

(audience gasps and murmurs)

FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.

I DID NOT WRITE THAT ON THE CORN.

(sighs) JUST PROMISE ME

YOU WON'T HAVE A FEW DRINKS AND GET ALL KISSY WITH ME

LIKE YOU DID LAST WEEK AT THE BERMANS'. YOU TOLD ME YOU DON'T WANT OUR FRIENDS TO KNOW

WE'RE HAVING MARITAL PROBLEMS. (rings doorbell) WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAUL ME TO PROVE WE'RE OKAY.

I DON'T LIKE PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION. I KNOW.

BUT THESE DAYS, THEY'RE THE ONLY KIND I CAN GET FROM YOU.

SORRY WE'RE LATE, MIKE. OH, THAT'S OKAY, COME ON IN.

OH, MY GOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

IT'S JUST A PIE, SUSAN. I'VE BROUGHT THEM BEFORE.

NO, THE BROOCH THAT YOU'RE WEARING. IT'S... IT'S MINE.

EXCUSE ME?

KARL GAVE IT TO ME YEARS AGO. CAN I SEE IT?

WELL, I DON'T DOUBT THAT IT'S SIMILAR, SUSAN,

BUT IT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THE SAME ONE.

NO, YES! (chuckles) THERE'S THE INSCRIPTION.

TO HIS GRANNY IRENE! MIKE!

THIS IS THE SAME BROOCH I LOST TEN YEARS AGO.

YOU SAY YOU LOST IT?

YEAH. IT WAS BACK WHEN KARL AND I GOT DIVORCED.

ONE DAY IT WAS ON MY COAT, AND THE NEXT... GONE.

I NEVER KNEW WHERE IT WENT.

(Karl) HI, EVERYBODY. WELL, NOW WE KNOW.

GREAT TO SEE YOU. SEE YOU, SWEETHEART.

HEY, KARL, GET IN HERE. WAIT. YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

BREE FOUND YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S BROOCH.

WHAT?

YES, THE ONE THAT SUSAN LOST.

(Orson) WHAT AN EXTRAORDINARY COINCIDENCE.

WHERE DID YOU GET IT, BREE?

SHE BOUGHT IT. I-I'M ASSUMING. UH, YES,

AT THAT LITTLE ANTIQUE STORE DOWN ON PEARL STREET.

YEAH, SO OBVIOUSLY,

WHOEVER FOUND IT MUST'VE SOLD IT TO THAT STORE.

REMEMBER HOW MAD YOU GOT WHEN I LOST IT?

HE REALLY YELLED AT ME. YOU YELLED AT HER?

I DON'T RECALL YELLING. YOU KINDA DID.

"HOW COULD YOU LOSE MY GRANDMOTHER'S BROOCH?!

IT WAS A FAMILY HEIRLOOM!" UNBELIEVABLE.

YEAH, THAT IT WOULD TURN UP AGAIN AFTER ALL THIS TIME.

WELL, I'M GLAD I CAN GIVE IT BACK TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER.

OH, IT'S YOURS. YOU BOUGHT IT.

OH, I COULDN'T POSSIBLY WEAR IT

KNOWING THAT KARL GAVE IT TO YOU.

WELL, HOW MUCH DID IT COST? I'LL REIMBURSE YOU.

NO NEED, DEAR. TRUST ME, IT WAS A STEAL.

(man) WHOA! WE GOTTA GET HIM INSIDE.

SHH. SHH. JUST HOLD ON. JUST--OKAY. EASY DOES IT.

(laughs) HOW CAN WE GET SOME PANCAKES? (clatter)

WHAT? OH, GEE. WATCH IT. WATCH IT.

I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD. (laughs) SHH.

(whispers) PORTER, FOR GOD SAKES!

PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!

(normal voice) TOM?

HEY, HONEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BE AT THE LIBRARY STUDYING.

W-W-WE WERE, AND AFTER WE WERE DONE,

I TOLD THE GUYS I'D TREAT 'EM TO PANCAKES.

BUT THE--THE PLACE WAS CLOSED. AH, SO WE PEED ON THE BUILDING.

GIVE IT UP, T-SCAV! YO!

YOU'RE DRUNK.

UH, I BEG YOUR PARDON.

HE'S DRUNK. I'M FACED. (chuckles)

(moans)

DO YOU HAVE A SINK?

WHAT DID THIS LIBRARY HAVE, A 3-DRINK MINIMUM?

WELL, AFTER THE LIBRARY, WE WENT TO A BAR,

AND THEY GOT INTO A CUTTHROAT GAME OF BEER PONG.

EH--

WELL, I'LL JUST MAKE 'EM SOME PANCAKES

AND TAKE 'EM HOME IN THE MORNING.

THE MORNING?!

CAN I TALK TO YOU A SECOND, T-SCAV,

AWAY FROM THESE BEER PONG CHAMPS? (sighs)

ACTUALLY, THEY LOST AND--AND IT WAS KIND OF CONTROVERSIAL--

I DON'T CARE! THEY'RE NOT STAYING HERE TONIGHT. COME ON! LOOK AT NIEDERMEYER.

I CAN'T TAKE HIM HOME TO HIS MOM AND DAD.

YOU KNOW HOW PARENTS ARE. OF COURSE I DO! WE'RE PARENTS!

(man vomits and belches) UGH.

LOOK...

I UNDERSTAND YOU WANT THE KIDS TO LIKE YOU

SO THEY CAN ELECT YOU HOMECOMING KING OR WHATEVER,

BUT YOU ARE NOT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL

TO HAVE SOME SECOND CHILDHOOD. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

OKAY. OKAY, I HEAR YA.

(grunts) HEY, I HEAR YOU, TOO.

WANNA KEEP IT DOWN?

(moans)

AND AS PUNISHMENT,

I'M HAVING JUANITA DRAFT A LETTER OF APOLOGY

TO EVERY CLASSMATE AND FAMILY MEMBER WHO HEARD...

THE VERB IN QUESTION.

THAT SEEMS FAIR.

AND OF COURSE, SHE WON'T BE ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE

IN THE FINAL TWO PERFORMANCES OF THE THANKSGIVING PAGEANT.

OF COURSE.

AND SHE IS ALSO ON CAFETERIA CLEANING DETAIL

FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS. ABSOLUTELY.

UH, NOT SO FAST.

I'M SORRY? OH, COME ON, MRS. PETERSON.

A LETTER OF APOLOGY? FINE. TAKING HER OUT OF THE PLAY?

HEY, SHE DESERVED THAT BASED ON HER PERFORMANCE ALONE.

BUT LET'S NOT GO OVERBOARD.

MRS. SOLIS, THIS SCHOOL HAS A ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY

WHEN IT COMES TO PROFANITY.

AND WE RESPECT THAT. RIGHT, HONEY?

STAY OUT OF THIS, SWEETHEART.

YOU NEED TO TAKE A SECOND LOOK AT THAT POLICY.

JUANITA MADE A LITTLE SLIP. IT WASN'T INTENTIONAL.

IT'S NOT LIKE SHE FLIPPED THE BIRD AFTERWARDS.

MY RULING STANDS.

IF YOU CAN'T DO THE TIME, DON'T DO THE CRIME.

WHAT IS THIS, SHAWSHANK ELEMENTARY?

THIS SCHOOL IS NOT AT FAULT.

IF YOU WANT TO ASSIGN BLAME,

YOU MIGHT LOOK TO YOUR DUBIOUS PARENTING SKILLS.

OH, I WISH YOU HADN'T SAID THAT.

EXCUSE ME?

WELL, JUANITA LEARNED THAT WORD SOMEWHERE.

AND YOU'RE SAYING I TAUGHT IT TO HER?

NO, I'M SURE IT WAS WHISPERED TO HER BY THE WIND.

(chuckles) LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MRS. PETERSON.

I AM PULLING JUANITA OUT OF THIS CRAPPY, CRAPPY SCHOOL!

COME ON, CARLOS!

OH.

"CRAPPY," HUH?

WHAT A SHAME JUANITA WON'T BE HERE

TO BLURT THAT OUT DURING THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE.

OH, YEAH? WELL, HERE'S A BLURT FOR YA--

(school bell rings) ...AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!

DON'T SHOOT! IT'S JUST ME.

RELAX, SUSAN. IT WAS A JOKE.

IS MIKE HERE?

HE IS OUT ON A JOB. OH, DARN IT.

I WANTED TO TALK TO BOTH OF YOU SO I COULD APOLOGIZE.

OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS...

(door closes)

I'VE LET MY EMOTIONS GET THE BEST OF ME.

I'M SURE YOU'VE NOTICED THAT MY BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN...

(singsongy) CRAZY.

HMM, JUST IN THE... CLINICAL SENSE.

WELL, THAT'S OVER.

I DON'T WANT THERE TO BE ANY MORE TENSION BETWEEN US.

WHEN WE SEE EACH OTHER ON THE STREET,

I WANT US TO WAVE,

NOT DIVE BEHIND A GARBAGE CAN.

OH, I DIDN'T DIVE. I... JUST DROPPED MY KEYS.

I JUST WANT THINGS TO BE NORMAL AGAIN.

LET ME PLAY POKER WITH YOU AND THE GIRLS.

IF YOU THROW A PARTY, INVITE ME.

MAYBE YOU AND MIKE CAN HAVE ME OVER FOR A BARBECUE SOMETIME.

GIVEN WHAT'S HAPPENED,

I JUST DON'T SEE A BARBECUE IN OUR FUTURE.

FINE, SUSAN.

I WAS JUST HOPING TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN

AND SHOW ALL THOSE PEOPLE HOW WRONG THEY WERE.

WHAT PEOPLE?

THE ONES WHO KEEP TELLING ME THAT I SHOULD SUE YOU FOR, UH...

WHAT DID THEY CALL IT? "RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT"?

YEAH, I'M SORRY. WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE?

NEIGHBORS, WELL-WISHERS,

A COUPLE OF LAWYERS WHO DABBLE IN CIVIL LAWSUITS.

BUT I TOLD THEM, "NO, I COULD NEVER SUE SUSAN."

IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING, WE'RE STILL FRIENDS.

BUT...

IF THAT ISN'T TRUE ANYMORE...

BRUNCH!

UH... (chuckles)

MIKE AND I AREN'T REALLY BARBECUE PEOPLE.

WE LIKE A GOOD BRUNCH. (laughs) SO... LET'S GIVE THAT A SHOT.

UM, I'M SORRY. THAT WAS JUST A BAD CHOICE OF WORDS.

(laughs) I LOVE IT!

SUNDAY AROUND 11:00? I'LL BRING A QUICHE.

GREAT.

AREN'T YOU GLAD I'M NOT CRAZY ANYMORE?

OH, YEAH. THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER.

WE ARE OVER, KARL.

(door closes) AND THIS TIME I MEAN IT.

OH, COME ON, BREE. YOU'RE GONNA DUMP ME OVER A LOUSY BROOCH?

IT'S NOT THE BROOCH, KARL. IT'S YOU.

STEALING SUSAN'S JEWELRY

AND THEN BERATING HER FOR LOSING IT?

WHAT KIND OF MAN DOES THAT? HOW ABOUT A MAN WHOSE WIFE'S TAKING HIM TO THE CLEANERS,

WHO WANTS TO GET BACK A LITTLE OF WHAT SHE'S COSTING HIM?

BUT HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID AS TO THEN GIVE IT TO ME?

DID IT NOT OCCUR TO YOU THAT SHE MIGHT SEE ME WEARING IT?

HEY, WHEN SUSIE AND I DIVORCED, SHE LOST A LOT OF THINGS.

I FORGOT THE BROOCH WAS ONE OF THEM.

THAT'S YOUR DEFENSE--THAT YOU STOLE SO MUCH, YOU LOST TRACK?

LET'S NOT FORGET WHO HAD NO PROBLEM

STAGING A FAKE BURGLARY TO PROTECT HER STUFF FROM ORSON.

WELL, I AM NOT PROUD OF THAT.

I AM EVEN LESS PROUD OF LETTING MY LIBIDO BLIND ME TO THE FACT

THAT I HAVE BEEN FORNICATING WITH A MORALLY BANKRUPT WEASEL.

WELL, NOT ANYMORE. WE'RE DONE.

WAIT.

BREE...

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

EXCUSE ME?

I KNOW, NOT THE BEST TIME TO ASK.

BUT I WAS SCARED IF I WAITED, I WOULDN'T GET ANOTHER SHOT.

DO YOU THINK FOR ONE INSTANT I WOULD EVEN-- DON'T FEEL YOU NEED TO ANSWER RIGHT AWAY.

I'M PRETTY SURE

WHAT THE SHORT-TERM RESPONSE WOULD BE. BUT, UM...

I LOVE YOU, BREE. FOR GOD SAKES, KARL.

AND I'D BE HONORED IF YOU'D EVEN CONSIDER BECOMING MY WIFE.

NO.

I'M NOT DONE.

THE MAN WHO SWIPED THAT BROOCH-- THAT WAS THE MAN I WAS.

THE MAN I AM NOW IS A LITTLE BETTER,

BUT HE IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE MAN THAT I COULD BE

WITH A WOMAN LIKE YOU AS MY WIFE.

THERE. DONE.

KARL-- DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

JUST GO. THINK IT OVER.

I ONLY WANNA SAY-- BUP, BUP, BUP!

JUST THINK.

(knock on door)

I HOPE I'M NOT DISTURBING YOU.

I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THE...

OH.

ARE YOU OKAY?

YOU'RE CRYING. WHAT'S WRONG?

NO, NOTHING. WHAT'S UP?

OH, OKAY.

I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW WELL OUR PLAN IS WORKING.

OUR PLAN?

YEAH, THE ONE ABOUT TAKING THE HIGH ROAD WITH SUSAN.

I WAS JUST OVER THERE. SHE DOESN'T HAVE A CLUE.

WHO'S THAT?

MY MOTHER.

OH! WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?

SHE DOESN'T.

I'M SORRY.

TOMORROW WOULD'VE BEEN HER BIRTHDAY.

EVERY YEAR THIS TIME I GET A LITTLE DEPRESSED.

SO LET'S GO OUT. I'LL BUY YOU LUNCH.

IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO FOR MY PARTNER IN CRIME.

(sighs) OKAY, YOU GOTTA STOP WITH THAT.

WHAT? THIS "OUR PLAN," "PARTNER IN CRIME."

THIS IS YOUR THING WITH SUSAN. YOU DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO.

OH, YOU'RE JUST UPSET BECAUSE OF YOUR MOTHER.

(gasps) YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'LL BAKE YOU A PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN CAKE.

BEST THING IN THE WORLD FOR DEPRESSION!

(door opens)

(sighs) WELL, I CALLED EVERY PRIVATE SCHOOL IN THE AREA.

NO OPENINGS UNTIL SEPTEMBER.

(continues chopping vegetable) DAMN IT, GABY.

YOU COULDN'T WAIT TILL SUMMER TO CUSS OUT THE PRINCIPAL?

I MAKE NO APOLOGIES. SHE HAD IT COMING.

AND I'D DO IT AGAIN.

SHE ATTACKED OUR DAUGHTER.

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE SO DEVOTED TO JUANITA,

'CAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE SPENDING

A WHOLE LOT MORE TIME TOGETHER. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I THINK WE HAVE OTHER CHOICE.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO HOMESCHOOL HER.

(laughing) THAT'S FUNNY.

OH, YOU'RE GOOD, CARLOS.

WE NEEDED SOMETHING TO CUT THE TENSION.

BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT DO WE DO?

SERIOUSLY?

WE ENROLL ONLINE,

THEY SEND US THE CURRICULUM, AND YOU TEACH HER.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. BEFORE THIS GETS UGLY,

YOU DO REALIZE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TEACH.

REALLY? YOU TAUGHT JUANITA A FEW CHOICE WORDS.

ME? HOW ABOUT YOU?

WHAT A BLANK OF A DAY!

EARL AT THE OFFICE IS SUCH A BLANK.

I WANNA KICK THE BLANK OUT OF HIS BLANK.

OH, YEAH? HOW ABOUT, THAT BLANKING HAIRDRESSER

TOTALLY SCREWED UP MY BLANKING HAIR!

LOOK AT ME! I'M TOTALLY BLANKED!

THE BLANKING CLIENT DIDN'T SIGN THE DEAL,

AND WE LOST A BLANKLOAD OF MONEY.

WAH! BLANK, BLANK, BLANK!

(sighs)

OKAY. WE ARE BOTH AT FAULT.

BUT YOU'RE HOMESCHOOLING HER.

FINE,

BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHO ISN'T GETTING BLANKED TONIGHT.

(sighs) FINE WITH ME.

I BLANKED OFF EARLIER.

THANKS AGAIN FOR THE PIE.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

SO I SEE YOU'RE WEARING THE BROOCH.

I MUST SAY IT WAS AWFULLY SWEET OF KARL

TO GIVE YOU HIS GRANDMOTHER'S JEWELRY. (faucet turns off)

WHEN YOU WERE MARRIED, DID HE DO THAT SORT OF THING OFTEN--

SURPRISE YOU WITH LITTLE GIFTS? CONSTANTLY.

REALLY?

YEAH, OF COURSE, AFTER A WHILE I KNEW THAT IT JUST MEANT

THAT HE'D CHEATED AND WAS FEELING GUILTY. (chuckles)

ONCE HE WENT TO BARBADOS AND BROUGHT ME BACK

A PAIR OF SAPPHIRE EARRINGS. I CRIED FOR DAYS.

OH.

SO... (sighs)

WHY THE SUDDEN FASCINATION WITH KARL?

OH, I'M HARDLY FASCINATED, JUST CURIOUS.

WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE TO HIM,

IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THE LIES AND THE CHEATING,

AND YOU NEVER REALLY TALK ABOUT THE GOOD TIMES.

WELL, THERE WERE WONDERFUL TIMES.

YEAH, HE WAS ALWAYS A GOOD KISSER,

AND HE COULD ALWAYS MAKE ME LAUGH.

YOU KNOW, THE TRUTH IS, IF HE HAD BEGGED MY FORGIVENESS...

I MEAN, IF JUST ONCE...

HE HAD TOLD ME THAT HE WAS WILLING TO CHANGE...

OH!

THE HELL WITH KARL.

IN FACT, UM...

HERE.

NO, SUSAN. IT'S YOURS.

NO, IT'S KARL'S.

AND THE ONLY JEWELRY I SHOULD BE WEARING NOW IS MIKE'S.

WELL, IF YOU INSIST.

AND BY THE WAY, THANKS.

IT FELT GOOD

TO SAY A FEW NICE THINGS ABOUT KARL FOR A CHANGE, YOU KNOW.

WELL, IT WAS NICE TO HEAR THEM.

HERE YOU GO, GABY. IT'S KINDA OLD.

IT'S FROM BEFORE THE SOVIET UNION BROKE UP.

THE SOVIET UNION BROKE UP?

YOU SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING

WITH THIS HOMESCHOOLING THING? OH, HONEY, JUANITA'S IN FIRST GRADE.

SHE'LL BELIEVE WHAT I TELL HER.

HEY, YOUR PHONE. OH! (object clatters to floor)

OOH. I POPPED MY BUTTON. (laughs)

ACTUALLY, LYNETTE, I'M NOT SURPRISED.

WHAT?

WELL, I WASN'T GONNA BRING IT UP,

BUT... YOU HAVE BEEN GETTING A LITTLE ROUNDER LATELY.

WELL, WHAT CAN I TELL YOU, GABY?

I'M WORKING LONG HOURS,

I'M NOT EXERCISING,

EATING A BUNCH OF JUNK AT WORK.

YEAH, I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF SHE GETS EVEN BIGGER THAN THIS. (slap)

DON'T YOU HAVE SOME HOMEWORK?

ACTUALLY, I'VE GOTTA PICK UP SOME BOOKS AT THE LIBRARY.

GOOD. I'LL CLEAN UP. BYE.

(door opens) SERIOUSLY, LYNETTE, YOU CAN LOSE THIS WEIGHT IN ONE MONTH.

(door closes) NO, GABY, I REALLY CAN'T.

YES, YOU CAN, AND I'M GONNA HELP YOU.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE MEET EVERY MORNING AT 7:00

AND GO FOR A RUN? I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S RIGHT AROUND THE TIME

I'M GETTING THE KIDS READY FOR SCHOOL.

LYNETTE, YOU CANNOT LET THIS GO. YOU KNOW THE EXPRESSION--

"THE LONGER YOU WAIT, THE BIGGER THE BUTT." (telephone rings)

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GET THAT.

IT MIGHT BE ANOTHER FRIEND

CALLING TO TELL ME MY ASS IS TOO FAT. (ring)

WELL, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP. ALL RIGHT. (blows kiss) BYE. I LOVE YOU.

(door opens) HELLO?

(laughs) NO, T-SCAV JUST LEFT.

THIS IS L-SCAV. MAY I HELP YOU?

I'M--I'M SORRY. WHAT PARTY?

(rock music playing)

(indistinct conversations and shouting)

(Niedermeyer) WHOO! ALL RIGHT! WATERMELON! (man) WHO WANTS SOME FRUIT?

OH! NIEDERMEYER! MAHONEY! HEY, MRS. SCAVO.

HI. WOULD YOU LIKE A SLICE OF LONG ISLAND WATERMELON?

GOSH, TEMPTING, BUT I JUST WANNA FIND MY HUSBAND

AND BRING HIM HOME.

UH, HE'S NOT HERE. DON'T COVER FOR HIM.

SOMEBODY CALLED OUR HOUSE WANTING TO KNOW

WHY HE HADN'T SHOWN UP WITH THE KEG YET.

BRILLIANT.

NIEDERMEYER, PLEASE. TOM HAS ACTUAL RESPONSIBILITIES.

HIS JELL-O SHOTS AND BEER PONG DAYS ARE OVER,

AND I DON'T APPRECIATE HIS NEW BUDDIES

MAKING HIM THINK THEY'RE NOT.

HE'S NOT OUR BUDDY.

I DON'T CARE. I JUST WANNA KNOW WHERE HE IS.

HE JUST DROPPED OFF THE KEG AND LEFT.

WELL--WAIT! WAIT!

IF HE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND, WHY IS HE BUYING YOU A KEG?

WHY IS HE MAKING YOU DINNER AT OUR HOUSE?

(scoffs)

♪♪♪

OKAY, BOYS.

NO! OH, NO, NO, NO!

WITHOUT THIS WATERMELON,

ALL THESE PRETTY GIRLS WILL STAY SOBER,

AND WE KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. (gasps)

NO! NO! OKAY! OKAY! WE'LL TELL YOU!

DUDE, SHE'S GOT OUR MELON!

♪♪♪

TOM'S DOING STUFF FOR US

BECAUSE GAVE HIM THE ANSWERS TO THE MIDTERM.

HE'S CHEATING OFF YOU?

NO. WE'VE GOT A CONNECTION IN THE MATH DEPARTMENT.

WE GET THE TESTS.

♪♪♪

WAIT, UH, MRS. SCAVO, CAN WE GET OUR WATERMELON BACK?

(sighs)

YOU COMING TO BED? JUST A SEC.

OH. (sighs) SO EXHAUSTED.

OH.

OKAY.

NO, NO, NO. WAIT. WAIT. I AM NOT THAT EXHAUSTED.

OH. OKAY. (laughs)

(cell phone rings) MMM.

MMM.

(ring)

(groans)

(beep)

DELFINO PLUMBING.

(sighs)

UH, YEAH.

WELL, EXACTLY WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

LOOK, I-I'M--I'M NOT ON CALL TONIGHT.

I'LL--I'LL TRY TO STOP BY TOMORROW. (cell phone drops on table)

THAT'S RIGHT, BUSTER. YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE TONIGHT.

MMM. NO KIDDING.

KATHERINE CAN FIX HER OWN LEAK.

THAT WAS KATHERINE?

YOU GOTTA GET OVER THERE RIGHT NOW.

(grunts) LOOK, I KNOW WE'VE GOTTA BE FRIENDS WITH HER,

BUT NOT AT 11:00. AND NOT WHEN YOU'RE WEARING THIS.

OKAY, SHE COULD SUE US. OH, SHE'S NOT GONNA SUE US OVER THIS.

IT'S NOT LIKE OUR DOG PEED ON HER FLOWERS. I SHOT HER.

SO CALL HER BACK AND TELL HER YOU'LL BE RIGHT OVER.

(sighs) FINE. (dialing)

HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE ANYWAY?

I DON'T KNOW. IT'S A LEAK IN HER MASTER BATH.

IN THE BEDROOM?

HELLO, MIKE.

AND SUSAN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I CAME TO ASSIST MY HUSBAND,

GET THE JOB DONE IN HALF THE TIME.

HEY, UM, WHERE'S YOUR SLING?

(gasps) OH! MY SHOULDER'S FEELING MUCH BETTER. THANK YOU.

THAT'S GREAT!

SO IT DOESN'T HURT IF I DO THIS?

HEY, WHY DON'T WE TAKE A LOOK AT THIS LEAKY FAUCET?

UH, UH, NO.

ACTUALLY, IT'S THE, UM, GARBAGE DISPOSAL IN THE KITCHEN.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS IN THE MASTER BATH.

MIKE, SERIOUSLY,

WHY WOULD A GARBAGE DISPOSAL BE IN THE MASTER BATH? (laughs)

COME ON. THIS WAY.

IT'S JUST MAKING THIS AWFUL SOUND.

WELL, THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE AN AWFUL SOUND.

(gasps)

(shrieks)

(gasps)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE?

I KNEW I NEVER SHOULD'VE TRUSTED YOU.

YOU JUST WANTED MIKE OVER HERE TO TRY TO SEDUCE HIM.

(scoffs, laughs) REALLY, SUSAN.

YOU HAVE THE MOST SUSPICIOUS MIND.

OH, PLEASE. LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

EVEN I'M GETTING TURNED ON.

SO I LIT A FEW CANDLES AND SPRINKLED SOME ROSE PETALS.

I DO THAT EVERY NIGHT.

REALLY? MM.

DO YOU ALSO DRINK AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE?

MAYBE I HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM, OKAY?

NO, YOU HAVE A BIG PROBLEM, KATHERINE. MIKE! (ice rattles)

THERE'S NO REASON TO BRING HIM INTO THIS.

OH, WELL, YOU SAY THAT YOU DO THIS EVERY NIGHT,

AND HE USED TO SPEND A LOT OF NIGHTS HERE.

SO WHY DON'T WE SEE IF IT LOOKS FAMILIAR TO HIM? MIKE!

MIKE, I NEED YOU TO COME UP HERE! MIKE!

COME UP HERE RIGHT NOW!

STOP! STOP! STOP THAT'S EVIDENCE!

LEAVE ME ALONE!

(gasps)

OH, MY GOD. A BUBBLE BATH?!

THIS IS NOW A BAD JACKIE COLLINS NOVEL.

I WANT YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE.

KATHERINE, YOU NEED HELP. (toilet flushes)

(sighs) WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE-- IT'S SICK!

Y-YOU DON'T ACTUALLY THINK THAT ROSE PETALS AND CHAMPAGNE

ARE GONNA WORK ON MIKE. HE LOVES ME!

DON'T PUSH ME, SUSAN. I'LL SUE YOU!

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? GO AHEAD. SUE ME!

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT,

GET ME FOR ASSAULT WITH A STRAWBERRY, TOO. (grunts)

UHH! JUST--

YOU BITCH! AAH!

(both screaming)

(grunts and gasps)

CRAZY! AAH!

(crank)

(water squishing)

(squishing continues)

F.Y.I.,

WE HATE HER AGAIN.

(door opens and closes)

MAHONEY CALLED ME AND TOLD ME THAT YOU--

KNOW ABOUT THE CHEATING? YEAH. I DO.

WHAT I DON'T KNOW IS WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER WITH YOU.

WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING THAT STUPID?

BECAUSE IT IS A REQUIRED COURSE THAT I WILL NEVER USE,

AND...

I'M FAILING IT.

YOU'RE FAILING?

WE CAN'T AFFORD TO HAVE YOU FAIL.

I KNOW. THAT'S WHY I DID THIS,

SO THAT I COULD FOCUS ALL OF MY ATTENTION

ON MY CORE CLASSES.

ARE--ARE YOU FAILING THOSE, TOO?

NO...

BUT IT'S TOUCH-AND-GO.

MY ADVISOR WARNED ME THAT LEARNING A LANGUAGE AT MY AGE

WOULD BE DIFFICULT,

AND MANDARIN IS ONE OF THE HARDEST.

I STUDY AND I STUDY, BUT I-I'M ALWAYS BEHIND.

LYNETTE, YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND, I AM DROWNING HERE.

I DON'T CARE.

WHAT?

YOU'RE HAVING TROUBLE IN SCHOOL? TALK TO ME.

TALK TO YOUR PROFESSORS. HIRE A TUTOR.

WHAT YOU DON'T DO IS CHEAT.

COME ON, LYNETTE. IT--IT IS STATISTICS.

I'M NEVER GONNA USE IT.

IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING, TOM!

WHAT IF THE KIDS FOUND OUT?

WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE ARE YOU SETTING FOR THEM?

THE SAME ONE YOU'RE SETTING.

WHEN GABRIELLE ASKED YOU IF YOU WERE GAINING WEIGHT,

DIDN'T YOU LIE? OH, CLEARLY THAT'S DIFFERENT.

WHY? BECAUSE OF THE CONSEQUENCES.

YOU COULD GET KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL.

AND YOU COULD LOSE ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS.

(sighs) I'M GOING TO TELL GABY THE TRUTH...

EVENTUALLY. AND WHEN YOU DO, SHE'LL TELL CARLOS.

AND WHEN HE FINDS OUT

THAT HIS NEW VICE PRESIDENT LIED TO HIM, HE MAY FIRE YOU.

YOU--YOU WANNA TALK TO ME SOME MORE ABOUT CONSEQUENCES?

I THINK THE WAY YOU'RE TRYING TO RATIONALIZE YOUR BEHAVIOR

IS PATHETIC. WE ARE TWO MIDDLE-AGED PEOPLE, LYNETTE.

WE BOTH KNOW THE VALUE OF PRINCIPLES.

WE ALSO KNOW SOMETHING THAT WE'VE NEVER TOLD THE KIDS--

THAT THERE ARE, SADLY, SOME TIMES IN LIFE

WHEN YOU NEED TO BREAK THE RULES IN ORDER TO SURVIVE.

I CHEATED ON A TEST.

YOU DON'T WANT TO PAT ME ON THE BACK? FINE.

BUT DON'T ACT LIKE YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME

'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT.

(monotone voice) "'OKAY,' SAID SKIPPY.

"I'LL MEET YOU DOWN AT RED CREEK AFTER SCHOOL."

(normal voice) THIS IS BORING. CAN I WATCH TV?

JUANITA, WHILE YOU'RE HERE WITH ME,

IT'S THE SAME AS IF YOU WERE AT SCHOOL.

WE JUST FINISHED GYM CLASS. NOW IT'S TIME FOR READING.

IRONING ISN'T GYM CLASS.

HEY, WHO'S THE TEACHER HERE, HUH?

READ!

YOU READ.

JUANITA!

(sighs) COME ON.

LET'S JUST FINISH THIS CHAPTER.

(sighs)

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

I'M WARNING YOU. I AM NOT PLAYING.

JUANITA, SO HELP ME GOD...

PICK IT UP! NO.

PICK IT UP OR END UP ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO IT.

THANK YOU. THAT'S MUCH BETTER.

(thud) WHOOPS.

HELLO? SO WHAT DID WE LEARN TODAY? (Gabrielle and Juanita grunting)

PICK UP THE BOOK! PICK IT UP! NO! NO!

GABY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

IT'S CALLED HOMESCHOOLING!

PICK... UP... THE... BOOK!

I DID WHAT YOU ASKED, KARL.

I WENT HOME AND THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR PROPOSAL.

AND? NO, WAIT. NOT YET. DO I NEED TO BRACE MYSELF?

I'M NOT GONNA SAY NO. REALLY?

OR YES. WHAT'S THE POINT

WHEN I ALREADY HAVE A HUSBAND I CAN'T SEEM TO SHAKE?

SO FOR NOW, YOU MIGHT WANNA FOCUS ON GETTING ME A DIVORCE.

AND IF I DO THAT, YOU'LL MARRY ME?

NO, NOT YOU, BUT I AM INTERESTED IN THIS OTHER KARL--

THE ONE YOU SAY YOU'RE PLANNING TO BECOME.

YEAH, IF YOU MARRY ME.

WELL, I'M AFRAID

HE'S GONNA HAVE TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE SOONER THAN THAT.

(laughs) I THINK I CAN ARRANGE A MEETING.

OH! THAT'S ANOTHER THING. NO SEX FOR AT LEAST A MONTH.

A MONTH? YOU ARE TOO ADEPT AT USING IT TO CLOUD MY JUDGMENT.

I WANNA SEE YOU THROUGH EYES THAT ARE CLEAR,

NOT ROLLING BACK IN MY HEAD. SO I HAVE TO BE A GOOD BOY AND NO SEX.

IT'S LIKE WE'RE MARRIED ALREADY.

KARL, IF WE GO PUBLIC WITH THIS, LET ALONE MARRY,

THERE WILL BE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES.

SUSAN MAY NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN,

AND GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT ORSON WILL DO.

I WILL NOT EVEN CONTEMPLATE PAYING THAT PRICE

UNTIL I'M SURE YOU'RE DAMN WELL WORTH IT.

AND IF CAN PROVE THAT YOU ARE...

THEN YOU CAN GIVE THIS TO ME AGAIN.

AND NEXT TIME, IT'LL MEAN SOMETHING.

(door opens)

(door closes)

(exhales deeply)

WELL, DID YOU TALK WITH HER? IS SHE READY TO APOLOGIZE?

MM, NOT QUITE. (sighs)

SHE HEARD WHAT YOU SAID TO THE PRINCIPAL,

AND SHE IS BLAMING YOU

FOR HER NOT BEING ALLOWED TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL. SO YOU DEFENDED ME, RIGHT?

WELL, THAT WAS A LITTLE TOUGH,

WHAT WITH HER BEING RIGHT AND YOU BEING WRONG. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WRONG? I DID WHAT I DID FOR HER.

REALLY?

YOU DON'T THINK THAT MAYBE A TEENY BIT OF THAT

WAS IN RESPONSE TO YOU BEING CRITICIZED AS A MOM?

NO!

WELL, MAYBE "THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON" PART,

BUT THE ORIGINAL SENTIMENT WAS ALL IN DEFENSE OF OUR DAUGHTER.

WHERE DOES SHE GET OFF BEING MAD AT ME?

GABY, SHE CAN'T GO TO SCHOOL AND BE WITH HER FRIENDS.

SHE CAN'T HAVE PEOPLE OVER

BECAUSE A CHIMP MAULED A CLOWN AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY.

SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD.

YOU... NOT SO MUCH.

(sighs deeply)

(dialing)

(beep)

(sighs)

MA? IT'S ME.

I KNOW. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. I'M SORRY.

NO, YOU KNOW I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT.

JUST... KNOW THAT WE'RE SAFE, OKAY?

OH, MA, PLEASE, DON'T CRY.

WE ONLY HAVE A FEW MINUTES TO TALK, OKAY?

HE'S GOOD. (chuckles)

HE JUST TURNED 19.

I KNOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

YEAH, I WISH WE COULD, TOO. UH, IT'S JUST TOO RISKY.

BUT, YOU KNOW, MAYBE ONE OF THESE DAYS...

MA, I GOTTA GO.

I-I-I'LL TALK TO YOU SOON. RIMANGA BENE, OKAY?

HEY YA, KATHERINE. WHAT YOU GOT THERE?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOUR MOTHER WAS DEAD.

OH, YEAH. THAT WAS MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.

NICK'S MOM.

OH!

YOU CALL HER "MA"?

WE'RE CLOSE.

I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN.

THE FRONT DOOR WAS OPEN. HERE.

HEY, IS THAT ONE OF THOSE PREPAID PHONES?

OH, YEAH. WHEN NICK AND I WENT ON VACATION,

WE BOUGHT THIS TO CALL HOME.

AND THEN WE HAD SOME MINUTES LEFT OVER,

SO I FIGURED I'D USE 'EM UP. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, KATHERINE?

WELL, I WANTED TO DROP OFF THE CAKE AS PROMISED

AND TELL YOU LAST NIGHT, SUSAN AND I HAD A BIG FIGHT.

SHE THREW ME INTO THE BATHTUB.

REALLY?

FIRST SHE SHOOTS ME, NOW SHE TRIES TO DROWN ME.

I'M GOING TO THE POLICE,

SO I'M GONNA NEED THAT GUN FOR EVIDENCE.

WHAT GUN?

THE ONE SHE SHOT ME WITH.

THE ONE DANNY GAVE JULIE.

OH.

LISTEN, KATHERINE, I REALLY DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA

GETTIN' THE POLICE INVOLVED.

JUST STICK TO YOUR PLAN.

I HATE THAT SHE CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS.

HEY.

NICK'S NOT ITALIAN, IS HE?

NO. WHY?

'CAUSE YOU WERE TALKING TO HIS MOTHER IN ITALIAN.

OH, SHE LIKES IT. MAKES HER FEEL SOPHISTICATED.

(laughs) (chuckles)

I HAVE A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT IN 40 MINUTES.

I REALLY SHOULD GET DRESSED. BUT THANK YOU FOR THE CAKE.

WHAT'S THAT, SWEETIE, YOUR HOMEWORK?

IT'S ALL HOMEWORK NOW, ISN'T IT?

LOOK, JUANITA,

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I USED TO GET PICKED ON

BECAUSE I WAS THE LITTLEST KID IN MY CLASS,

AND I COULDN'T DEFEND MYSELF FROM THE BULLIES.

AND THEN I DISCOVERED A PART OF ME THAT WAS BIG--

MY MOUTH.

AND I'VE BEEN FIGHTING BACK WITH IT EVER SINCE.

SO WHEN MRS. PETERSON SAID THOSE MEAN THINGS,

I HAD TO DEFEND YOU. WHY? I SAID A BAD WORD.

IF YOU JUST LET HER PUNISH ME, THIS WOULD ALL BE OVER.

BELIEVE ME, LEAVING THAT SCHOOL

IS GONNA WIND UP BEING A GOOD THING.

MRS. PETERSON IS A BULLY. I LIKE MRS. PETERSON.

(sighs)

OKAY.

I WAS WRONG, AND I'M SORRY YOU'RE UPSET.

YOU STILL THINK I'M A GOOD MOM, RIGHT? (chuckles)

HONEY?

CAN WE JUST READ?

I'M TELLING YOU, KATHERINE CANNOT BE TRUSTED.

THE WAY SHE TALKS ABOUT STEALING MIKE BACK FROM YOU?

SHE HAS COMPLETELY LOST IT.

BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. MIKE AND I HAVE A NEW RULE.

WE'RE GOING TO PRETEND THAT KATHERINE DOESN'T EXIST.

(chuckles) YOU THINK THAT'S GONNA BE ENOUGH?

YOU NEED TO GET HER OFF THE STREET.

KATHERINE HATES YOU,

AND I'M NOT TALKIN' "DIRTY LOOKS IN THE SUPERMARKET" HATE.

THAT WOMAN IS DANGEROUS.

DANGEROUS HOW?

(sighs) OKAY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M EVEN SAYING THIS.

BUT DO YOU KNOW WHERE KATHERINE WAS

THE NIGHT THAT JULIE WAS ATTACKED?

NO. THAT'S CRAZY. UM...

WHY WOULD KATHERINE WANT TO HURT JULIE?

YOU HAD JUST MARRIED THE MAN THAT SHE LOVED.

IT WAS DARK.

A WOMAN WALKED OUT OF YOUR HOUSE...

MAYBE SHE DIDN'T THINK IT WAS JULIE.

THERE ARE SO MANY RULES IN THIS WORLD.

THAT'S WHY WE MUST START LEARNING THEM

WHILE WE ARE STILL CHILDREN.

WE ARE TOLD VERY CLEARLY...

"DON'T SAY BAD WORDS."

(starts engine)

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CHEAT ON TESTS."

"IT'S NOT NICE TO LIE TO YOUR FRIENDS."

"YOU SHOULDN'T COVET A MAN WHO ISN'T YOURS."

(engine starts) "AND YOU SHOULDN'T BETRAY A MAN WHO IS."

SO WE GROW UP, AND STILL WE BREAK THE RULES...

COMPLETELY FORGETTING THAT IF SOMEONE CATCHES US,

WE WILL BE PUNISHED.

HI THERE. YES, GOOD AFTERNOON, SIR.

UH, I WAS HOPING TO REPLACE

A CAMEO BROOCH MY WIFE PURCHASED HERE.

I'D LIKE TO SURPRISE HER. A BROOCH?

UM, WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT HERE.

YOU MUST BE MISTAKEN.

MY WIFE WAS QUITE SPECIFIC ABOUT WHERE SHE PURCHASED IT.

SORRY. UH, WE SELL FURNITURE.

SHE MUST'VE GOTTEN IT SOMEWHERE ELSE.

(telephone rings) UM, EXCUSE ME.