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}25
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00:00:01.459 --> 00:00:07.007
( car horns beeping )
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00:00:07.048 --> 00:00:08.216
IT'S... AH!
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00:00:08.258 --> 00:00:12.137
MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS.
5
00:00:12.178 --> 00:00:21.229
( Sousa's "Liberty Bell March"
playing )
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00:00:21.271 --> 00:00:25.150
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
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00:00:25.191 --> 00:00:27.652
and A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
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( music ends with whoosh )
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00:00:46.796 --> 00:00:48.840
( audience laughter )
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00:00:48.882 --> 00:00:51.343
HAVE YOU FINISHED
IN THERE YET?
11
00:00:51.384 --> 00:00:54.137
( overture to Tchaikovsky
Piano Concerto playing )
12
00:00:54.179 --> 00:00:55.597
( laughter )
13
00:00:55.638 --> 00:00:57.807
Man:
"DEAR SIR, I OBJECT STRONGLY
14
00:00:57.849 --> 00:01:01.895
"TO THE OBVIOUS LAVATORIAL TURN
THIS SHOW HAS ALREADY TAKEN.
15
00:01:01.936 --> 00:01:05.648
"WHY DO WE NEVER HEAR ABOUT
THE GOOD THINGS IN BRITAIN
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00:01:05.690 --> 00:01:08.735
"LIKE MARY BIGNALL'S
WONDERFUL JUMP IN 1964?
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00:01:08.777 --> 00:01:10.403
YOURS ETC., KEN VOYEUR."
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00:01:10.445 --> 00:01:12.530
( crowd cheering )
19
00:01:18.661 --> 00:01:20.497
Man:
"DEAR SIR, I OBJECT STRONGLY
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00:01:20.580 --> 00:01:23.875
"TO THE OBVIOUS ATHLETIC TURN
THIS SHOW HAS NOW TAKEN.
21
00:01:23.917 --> 00:01:26.586
"WHY CAN'T WE HEAR MORE
ABOUT THE HUMAN BODY?
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00:01:26.628 --> 00:01:30.340
"THERE IS NOTHING EMBARRASSING
OR NASTY ABOUT THE HUMAN BODY
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00:01:30.382 --> 00:01:33.385
EXCEPT FOR THE INTESTINES
AND BITS OF THE BOTTOM."
24
00:01:33.426 --> 00:01:37.180
Man:
"DEAR SIR, I OBJECT STRONGLY
TO THE LETTERS ON YOUR PROGRAM.
25
00:01:37.305 --> 00:01:40.308
"THEY ARE CLEARLY NOT WRITTEN
BY THE GENERAL PUBLIC
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00:01:40.350 --> 00:01:42.852
"AND ARE MERELY INCLUDED
FOR A CHEAP LAUGH.
27
00:01:42.894 --> 00:01:44.688
YOURS ETC., WILLIAM KNICKERS."
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00:01:44.729 --> 00:01:48.316
( orchestra playing final note )
29
00:01:48.358 --> 00:01:52.362
( toilet flushing )
30
00:01:52.404 --> 00:01:54.656
PubLic:
THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY REVOLTING.
31
00:01:54.698 --> 00:01:57.325
NASTY.
DISGUSTING.
RUBBISH.
32
00:02:05.333 --> 00:02:06.876
( bang )
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00:02:06.918 --> 00:02:09.295
I, TOO, TAKE STRONG EXCEPTION
34
00:02:09.337 --> 00:02:13.341
TO THIS RESURGENCE
OF CHEAP JOKES ABOUT POO-POOS.
35
00:02:13.383 --> 00:02:17.554
MR. VOYEUR'S LETTER STATED
VERY... OH... UM... EXCUSE ME.
36
00:02:18.972 --> 00:02:22.017
( toilet flushing )
37
00:02:24.686 --> 00:02:28.023
AS I WAS SAYING, THE LETTER
PREVIOUSLY READ MADE QUITE CLEAR
38
00:02:28.064 --> 00:02:29.733
THE VIEW OF A GREAT MAJORITY...
39
00:02:29.774 --> 00:02:35.864
( majesticprocessional
playing )
40
00:02:48.543 --> 00:02:54.049
1348... THE BLACK DEATH,
TYPHUS, CHOLERA
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00:02:54.090 --> 00:02:57.469
CONSUMPTION, BUBONIC PLAGUE...
42
00:02:57.510 --> 00:03:01.931
AH, THOSE WERE THE DAYS.
43
00:03:01.973 --> 00:03:03.975
NOW, I'M NOT... I'M...
44
00:03:03.975 --> 00:03:05.935
( applause )
45
00:03:05.977 --> 00:03:08.396
NOW, I'M NOT PREPARED
TO GO ON WITH THIS
46
00:03:08.438 --> 00:03:11.316
UNLESS THESE INTERRUPTIONS
CEASE-- ALL RIGHT?
47
00:03:11.358 --> 00:03:12.442
RIGHT.
48
00:03:13.568 --> 00:03:15.779
THE DEVASTATING EFFECT
49
00:03:15.820 --> 00:03:17.781
OF THESE...
50
00:03:21.409 --> 00:03:22.660
( clock ticking )
51
00:03:22.702 --> 00:03:25.580
( car horn honking )
52
00:03:25.663 --> 00:03:27.332
( clock ticking )
53
00:03:33.922 --> 00:03:35.965
( engine roaring )
54
00:03:36.007 --> 00:03:38.927
( clock ticking )
55
00:03:47.644 --> 00:03:49.938
( tires squealing )
56
00:03:49.979 --> 00:03:52.232
( loud crashing )
57
00:03:55.819 --> 00:03:56.986
( glasses clinking )
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00:03:59.739 --> 00:04:02.367
NO, DON'T FOLLOW ME,
AND DON'T ZOOM IN ON ME.
59
00:04:02.409 --> 00:04:03.660
NO, I'M OFF, I'M OFF.
60
00:04:03.702 --> 00:04:04.994
THAT'S IT, THAT'S ALL.
61
00:04:05.036 --> 00:04:06.121
I'M OFF.
62
00:04:09.624 --> 00:04:14.838
ARE YOU NERVY, IRRITABLE,
DEPRESSED, TIRED OF LIFE?
63
00:04:14.921 --> 00:04:16.673
KEEP IT UP.
64
00:04:16.715 --> 00:04:17.882
( laughter )
65
00:04:24.514 --> 00:04:26.224
THIS HOUSE
IS SURROUNDED.
66
00:04:26.266 --> 00:04:28.601
I'M AFRAID I MUST
NOT ASK ANYONE
67
00:04:28.643 --> 00:04:30.020
TO LEAVE THE ROOM.
68
00:04:30.061 --> 00:04:33.148
NO, I MUST ASK NOBODY...
69
00:04:33.148 --> 00:04:36.276
NO, I MUST ASK EVERYBODY...
70
00:04:36.317 --> 00:04:38.236
TO... I MUST
NOT ASK
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00:04:38.278 --> 00:04:40.405
ANYONE TO LEAVE...
72
00:04:40.447 --> 00:04:45.076
NO ONE MUST BE ASKED
BY ME TO LEAVE ROOM...
73
00:04:45.118 --> 00:04:50.540
NO, NO ONE MUST ASK
THE ROOM TO LEAVE I.
74
00:04:50.582 --> 00:04:55.211
I ASK THE ROOM, SHALL
MY SOMEONE BE LEFT?
75
00:04:55.253 --> 00:04:58.173
NOT... ASK
NOBODY THE ROOM
76
00:04:58.214 --> 00:05:00.884
SOMEBODY LEAVE SHALL I?
77
00:05:00.925 --> 00:05:03.636
SHALL I LEAVE THE ROOM?
78
00:05:03.762 --> 00:05:08.475
EVERYONE MUST LEAVE
THE ROOM AS IT IS...
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00:05:08.516 --> 00:05:10.518
WITH THEM IN IT.
80
00:05:10.560 --> 00:05:12.145
UNDERSTAND?
81
00:05:12.187 --> 00:05:15.398
YOU DON'T WANT ANYBODY
TO LEAVE THE ROOM.
82
00:05:17.442 --> 00:05:18.610
( laughter )
83
00:05:18.651 --> 00:05:21.237
NOW, ALDUCE ME
TO INTROLOW MYSELF.
84
00:05:21.279 --> 00:05:24.741
I'M SORRY... ALSELF ME
TO MYDUCE INTROLOW...
85
00:05:24.783 --> 00:05:26.493
INTROME TO-LOSE MYLOW.
86
00:05:26.534 --> 00:05:28.620
ALME TO YOU INTROSELF MY...
87
00:05:28.703 --> 00:05:30.246
EXCUSE ME A MOMENT.
88
00:05:35.794 --> 00:05:37.295
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
89
00:05:37.337 --> 00:05:39.839
I'M AFRAID I MUST ASK
THAT NO ONE LEAVE THE ROOM.
90
00:05:39.881 --> 00:05:42.425
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF:
I'M INSPECTOR TIGER.
91
00:05:42.467 --> 00:05:43.385
ALL:
TIGER?
92
00:05:43.426 --> 00:05:45.053
WHERE, WHERE?!
93
00:05:45.095 --> 00:05:48.431
( chuckling )
94
00:05:48.556 --> 00:05:49.724
ME TIGER...
95
00:05:50.975 --> 00:05:52.060
YOU JANE.
96
00:05:52.102 --> 00:05:53.353
( growling
lewdly )
97
00:05:53.395 --> 00:05:54.729
BEG YOUR PARDON.
98
00:05:54.813 --> 00:05:56.564
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
99
00:05:56.606 --> 00:05:59.567
I'M AFRAID I MUST ASK
THAT NO ONE LEAVE THE ROOM.
100
00:05:59.609 --> 00:06:00.276
WHY NOT?
101
00:06:00.318 --> 00:06:01.403
ELEMENTARY.
102
00:06:01.486 --> 00:06:04.864
SINCE THE BODY WAS
FOUND IN THIS ROOM
103
00:06:04.906 --> 00:06:06.741
AND NO ONE HAS LEFT IT
104
00:06:06.783 --> 00:06:10.286
THEREFORE THE MURDERER
MUST BE SOMEBODY
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00:06:10.286 --> 00:06:12.038
IN THIS ROOM.
106
00:06:12.080 --> 00:06:14.040
WHAT BODY?!
107
00:06:14.082 --> 00:06:15.125
SOMEBODY...
108
00:06:15.166 --> 00:06:17.127
IN THIS ROOM MUST
THE MURDERER BE.
109
00:06:17.168 --> 00:06:18.545
THE MURDERER
OF THE BODY
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00:06:18.586 --> 00:06:19.921
IS SOMEBODY
IN THIS ROOM
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00:06:19.963 --> 00:06:21.464
WHICH NOBODY
MUST LEAVE.
112
00:06:21.506 --> 00:06:24.551
LEAVE THE BODY IN THE ROOM
NOT TO BE LEFT BY ANYBODY.
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00:06:24.592 --> 00:06:27.429
NOBODY LEAVES ANYBODY
OR THE BODY WITH SOMEBODY.
114
00:06:27.470 --> 00:06:31.057
ANYBODY WHO IS ANYBODY SHALL
LEAVE THE BODY IN THE ROOM-BODY.
115
00:06:31.057 --> 00:06:32.642
TAKE THE TABLETS, TIGER.
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00:06:32.684 --> 00:06:35.520
ANYBODY WITH A BODY BUT
NOT THE BODY IS NOBODY.
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00:06:35.562 --> 00:06:37.564
NOBODY LEAVES THE BODY IN THE...
118
00:06:37.564 --> 00:06:39.190
( gulps )
119
00:06:39.232 --> 00:06:42.068
ALBODY ME INTROBODY AL...
120
00:06:45.405 --> 00:06:46.990
( sawing )
121
00:06:49.242 --> 00:06:51.578
NOW FOR SIR GERALD.
122
00:06:51.619 --> 00:06:52.829
THAT'S BETTER.
123
00:06:52.871 --> 00:06:54.706
NOW, I'M INSPECTOR TIGER
124
00:06:54.748 --> 00:06:57.959
AND I MUST ASK THAT
NOBODY LEAVE THE ROOM.
125
00:06:59.377 --> 00:07:02.047
NOW, SOMEONE HAS
COMMITTED A MURDER HERE
126
00:07:02.088 --> 00:07:04.924
AND THAT MURDERER IS
SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM.
127
00:07:04.966 --> 00:07:06.509
THE QUESTION IS... WHO?
128
00:07:06.509 --> 00:07:09.012
LOOK, THERE HASN'T
BEEN A MURDER.
129
00:07:10.180 --> 00:07:11.306
NO MURDER?
130
00:07:11.348 --> 00:07:12.265
ALL:
NO.
131
00:07:13.391 --> 00:07:14.726
OH.
132
00:07:14.768 --> 00:07:15.977
I DON'T LIKE IT.
133
00:07:16.019 --> 00:07:17.645
IT'S TOO SIMPLE
134
00:07:17.687 --> 00:07:19.022
TOO CLEAR-CUT.
135
00:07:19.064 --> 00:07:20.148
I'D BETTER WAIT.
136
00:07:20.273 --> 00:07:22.859
NO, TOO SIMPLE,
TOO CLEAR-CUT.
137
00:07:25.195 --> 00:07:29.324
( man screaming )
138
00:07:29.407 --> 00:07:31.409
( gunshot )
139
00:07:36.998 --> 00:07:38.083
BY JOVE
140
00:07:38.124 --> 00:07:39.084
HE WAS RIGHT!
141
00:07:39.125 --> 00:07:40.752
THIS HOUSE IS SURROUNDED.
142
00:07:40.794 --> 00:07:43.338
I MUST ASK THAT NO ONE
LEAVE THE ROOM.
143
00:07:43.380 --> 00:07:45.548
I'M CHIEF
SUPERINTENDENT
LOOKOUT.
144
00:07:45.590 --> 00:07:46.174
LOOKOUT?
145
00:07:46.216 --> 00:07:47.258
WHAT? WHERE?
146
00:07:47.300 --> 00:07:48.301
( laughter )
147
00:07:48.343 --> 00:07:50.053
OH, ME... LOOKOUT.
148
00:07:50.095 --> 00:07:52.013
LOOKOUT OF THE YARD.
149
00:07:52.055 --> 00:07:53.890
WHY? WHAT WOULD WE SEE?
150
00:07:55.016 --> 00:07:56.685
SORRY?
151
00:07:56.810 --> 00:07:59.896
WELL, WHAT WILL WE SEE
IF WE LOOK OUT OF THE YARD?
152
00:08:01.981 --> 00:08:03.108
( laughter )
153
00:08:03.149 --> 00:08:05.652
I'M AFRAID I DON'T
FOLLOW THAT AT ALL.
154
00:08:05.694 --> 00:08:07.278
AHA! THE BODY.
155
00:08:07.320 --> 00:08:12.158
SO, THE MURDERER MUST BE
SOMEBODY IN THIS ROOM...
156
00:08:12.200 --> 00:08:15.286
UNLESS HE HAD
VERY LONG ARMS...
157
00:08:15.328 --> 00:08:17.122
SAY 30 OR
40 FEET.
158
00:08:17.163 --> 00:08:20.542
I THINK WE
CAN DISCOUNT
THAT ONE.
159
00:08:20.583 --> 00:08:24.129
( laughing )
160
00:08:24.129 --> 00:08:26.798
( laughing
uproariously )
161
00:08:26.840 --> 00:08:28.717
"LOOK OUT OF THE YARD"!
162
00:08:28.758 --> 00:08:30.010
VERY GOOD.
163
00:08:30.093 --> 00:08:33.054
RIGHT... NOW WE'LL
RECONSTRUCT THE CRIME.
164
00:08:33.096 --> 00:08:34.514
I'LL SIT DOWN
HERE.
165
00:08:34.556 --> 00:08:37.142
CONSTABLE,
YOU TURN OFF
THE LIGHTS.
166
00:08:39.352 --> 00:08:40.395
GOOD.
167
00:08:40.437 --> 00:08:41.438
NOW, THEN...
168
00:08:41.479 --> 00:08:43.064
THERE WAS
A SCREAM...
169
00:08:43.106 --> 00:08:44.858
( man screaming )
170
00:08:44.899 --> 00:08:48.278
THEN JUST BEFORE THE LIGHTS
WENT UP, THERE WAS A SHOT.
171
00:08:48.319 --> 00:08:49.487
( gunshot )
172
00:08:50.864 --> 00:08:54.492
( laughter )
173
00:08:54.576 --> 00:08:55.660
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
174
00:08:55.702 --> 00:08:56.953
THE HOUSE IS SURROUNDED
175
00:08:56.995 --> 00:08:58.204
AND NOBODY
LEAVE THE ROOM
176
00:08:58.329 --> 00:08:59.497
AND ALL
THE REST OF IT.
177
00:08:59.539 --> 00:09:01.082
ALLOW ME TO
INTRODUCE MYSELF.
178
00:09:01.082 --> 00:09:03.793
I'M ASSISTANT
CHIEF CONSTABLE
THERESAMANBEHINDYER.
179
00:09:03.835 --> 00:09:05.295
ALL:
THERESAMANBEHINDYER?
180
00:09:05.337 --> 00:09:07.380
OH, YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO CATCH ME
181
00:09:07.422 --> 00:09:09.049
WITH AN OLD
ONE LIKE THAT.
182
00:09:09.090 --> 00:09:11.301
RIGHT... LET'S
RECONSTRUCT THE CRIME.
183
00:09:11.343 --> 00:09:13.553
CONSTABLE, YOU BE
INSPECTOR TIGER.
184
00:09:13.595 --> 00:09:14.637
RIGHT, SIR.
185
00:09:14.679 --> 00:09:16.306
NOBODY LEAVE
THE ROOM I SHALL.
186
00:09:16.348 --> 00:09:18.516
SOMEBODY I LEAVE NOBODY
IN THE ROOM-BODY
187
00:09:18.558 --> 00:09:20.727
SHALL... TAKE THE TABLETS,
TIGER BUDDY.
188
00:09:20.810 --> 00:09:21.811
ALSELF ME...
189
00:09:21.853 --> 00:09:23.521
( applause )
190
00:09:23.563 --> 00:09:25.523
VERY GOOD... JUST
SIT DOWN THERE.
191
00:09:25.565 --> 00:09:26.858
VERY GOOD, THANK YOU.
192
00:09:26.900 --> 00:09:27.942
RIGHT.
193
00:09:27.984 --> 00:09:29.152
NOW, WE'LL PRETEND
194
00:09:29.194 --> 00:09:30.779
THE LIGHTS
HAVE GONE OUT.
195
00:09:30.820 --> 00:09:32.238
CONSTABLE,
YOU SCREAM.
196
00:09:32.280 --> 00:09:33.782
( screaming )
197
00:09:33.823 --> 00:09:34.991
SOMEBODY SHOOTS YOU.
198
00:09:35.033 --> 00:09:36.034
( gunshot )
199
00:09:36.117 --> 00:09:37.285
AND THE DOOR OPENS.
200
00:09:37.327 --> 00:09:38.328
NOBODY MOVE.
201
00:09:38.370 --> 00:09:40.080
I AM CHIEF CONSTABLE FIRE.
202
00:09:40.121 --> 00:09:40.914
ALL:
FIRE?
203
00:09:40.997 --> 00:09:42.207
WHERE, WHERE?
204
00:09:42.248 --> 00:09:44.334
WE'RE INTERRUPTING THIS SKETCH
205
00:09:44.376 --> 00:09:46.503
BUT WE'LL BE BRINGING YOU BACK
206
00:09:46.544 --> 00:09:49.255
THE MOMENT ANYTHING
INTERESTING HAPPENS.
207
00:09:49.339 --> 00:09:52.217
MEANWHILE, HERE ARE
SOME FRIENDS OF MINE.
208
00:09:52.258 --> 00:09:57.013
( brass instruments and drums
playing funeral march )
209
00:10:08.650 --> 00:10:10.777
( thud )
210
00:10:13.988 --> 00:10:17.450
( drums picking up tempo )
211
00:10:17.492 --> 00:10:21.538
( trumpet plays upbeat notes )
212
00:10:21.579 --> 00:10:24.249
( jazz playing )
213
00:10:25.834 --> 00:10:27.293
Man:
"DEAR SIR.
214
00:10:27.335 --> 00:10:29.504
"I'M SORRY THIS LETTER IS LATE.
215
00:10:29.546 --> 00:10:33.258
"IT SHOULD HAVE COME AT
THE BEGINNING OF THE PROGRAM.
216
00:10:33.299 --> 00:10:35.468
YOURS, IVOR BIGBOTTIE,
AGE TWO."
217
00:10:35.510 --> 00:10:38.138
FROM THE PLASTIC ARTS,
WE TURN TO FOOTBALL.
218
00:10:38.179 --> 00:10:40.724
LAST NIGHT IN
THE STADIUM OF LIGHT, JARROW
219
00:10:40.765 --> 00:10:44.602
WE WITNESSED THE RESUSCITATION
OF A GREAT FOOTBALLING TRADITION
220
00:10:44.728 --> 00:10:47.814
WHEN JARROW UNITED CAME OF AGE,
IN A EUROPEAN SENSE
221
00:10:47.856 --> 00:10:49.816
WITH AN ALMOST PROUSTIAN DISPLAY
222
00:10:49.941 --> 00:10:51.901
OF MODERN
EXISTENTIALIST FOOTBALL
223
00:10:51.943 --> 00:10:54.946
VIRTUALLY ANNIHILATING
BY MIDFIELD MORAL ARGUMENT
224
00:10:54.988 --> 00:10:58.616
THE NOW SURELY OBSOLESCENT
CATENNACHIO DEFENSIVE PHILOSOPHY
225
00:10:58.658 --> 00:11:00.368
OF SIGNOR ALBERTO FANFRINO.
226
00:11:00.410 --> 00:11:03.371
BOLOGNA INDEED WERE A SIDE
INTELLECTUALLY OUT-ARGUED
227
00:11:03.371 --> 00:11:05.623
BY A JARROW TEAM
THRUSTING AND BURSTING
228
00:11:05.665 --> 00:11:07.542
WITH AGGRESSIVE
KANTIAN POSITIVISM
229
00:11:07.584 --> 00:11:09.836
AND OUTSTANDING
IN THIS FINE JARROW TEAM
230
00:11:09.878 --> 00:11:11.212
WAS MY MAN OF THE MATCH
231
00:11:11.254 --> 00:11:13.089
THE ARCH-THINKER,
FREE-SCHEMING
232
00:11:13.131 --> 00:11:15.759
SCARCELY-EVER-TO-BE-CURBED
MIDFIELD COGNOSCENTO
233
00:11:15.800 --> 00:11:17.344
JIMMY BUZZARD.
234
00:11:17.385 --> 00:11:18.845
GOOD EVENING, BRIAN.
235
00:11:18.887 --> 00:11:21.765
JIMMY, AT LEAST ONE AGING
FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR
236
00:11:21.806 --> 00:11:25.769
WAS GLADDENED LAST NIGHT BY THE
SIGHT OF AN ENGLISH FOOTBALLER
237
00:11:25.810 --> 00:11:28.146
BREAKING FREE
OF THE LIMPID TENTACLES
238
00:11:28.188 --> 00:11:30.273
OF PACKED MEDITERRANEAN DEFENSE.
239
00:11:31.608 --> 00:11:34.444
( laughter )
240
00:11:34.486 --> 00:11:35.820
GOOD EVENING, BRIAN.
241
00:11:35.862 --> 00:11:37.113
WERE YOU SURPRISED
242
00:11:37.155 --> 00:11:40.325
AT THE WAY THE ITALIANS
CEDED MIDFIELD DOMINANCE
243
00:11:40.367 --> 00:11:41.910
SO EARLY ON
IN THE GAME?
244
00:11:41.993 --> 00:11:43.578
( laughter )
245
00:11:45.330 --> 00:11:46.956
WELL, BRIAN...
246
00:11:46.998 --> 00:11:49.876
( scattered laughter )
247
00:11:49.918 --> 00:11:52.879
( more laughter )
248
00:11:52.921 --> 00:11:55.048
I'M OPENING A BOUTIQUE.
249
00:11:57.217 --> 00:12:00.470
THIS IS OF COURSE SYMPTOMATIC
OF A NEW BREED OF FOOTBALLER
250
00:12:00.512 --> 00:12:03.765
AS IT IS INDEED SYMPTOMATIC
OF YOUR WHOLE GENRE OF PLAYER
251
00:12:03.807 --> 00:12:05.266
IS IT NOT?
252
00:12:05.266 --> 00:12:06.559
( laughter )
253
00:12:06.601 --> 00:12:07.977
GOOD EVENING, BRIAN.
254
00:12:08.019 --> 00:12:09.521
WHAT I'M GETTING AT, JIMMY
255
00:12:09.562 --> 00:12:12.023
IS YOU SEEM TO HAVE
DISCOVERED A NEW CONCEPT
256
00:12:12.065 --> 00:12:15.276
WITH THE MODE WITH WHICH YOU
DISSECTED THE ITALIAN DEFENSE
257
00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:16.569
LAST NIGHT.
258
00:12:22.117 --> 00:12:23.493
I HIT THE BALL FIRST TIME
259
00:12:23.535 --> 00:12:25.870
AND THERE IT WAS
IN THE BACK OF THE NET.
260
00:12:25.912 --> 00:12:27.539
DO YOU THINK
JARROW WILL ADOPT
261
00:12:27.580 --> 00:12:28.915
A MORE DEFENSIVE POSTURE
262
00:12:28.998 --> 00:12:31.501
FOR THE FIRST LEG OF
THE NEXT TIE IN TURKEY?
263
00:12:31.501 --> 00:12:32.877
I HIT THE BALL
FIRST TIME
264
00:12:32.919 --> 00:12:35.088
AND THERE IT WAS IN
THE BACK OF THE NET.
265
00:12:35.171 --> 00:12:36.965
YES, YES, BUT
HAVE YOU ANY PLANS
266
00:12:37.007 --> 00:12:39.843
FOR DEALING WITH THE
FREE-SCORING TURKISH FORWARDS?
267
00:12:42.721 --> 00:12:44.597
WELL, BRIAN...
268
00:12:47.434 --> 00:12:49.144
( laughter )
269
00:12:51.604 --> 00:12:53.565
I'M OPENING A BOUTIQUE.
270
00:12:54.691 --> 00:12:56.443
AND NOW LET'S TAKE A LOOK
271
00:12:56.484 --> 00:12:59.654
AT THE STATE OF PLAY
IN THE DETECTIVE SKETCH.
272
00:12:59.696 --> 00:13:03.033
OURSELF ME
TO INTROLOW MY BODY.
273
00:13:03.074 --> 00:13:04.576
( gunshot )
274
00:13:08.830 --> 00:13:11.916
( cheering )
275
00:13:11.958 --> 00:13:14.502
( Chopin's "Funeral March"
playing )
276
00:13:14.544 --> 00:13:16.087
( music slows to stop )
277
00:13:29.392 --> 00:13:33.146
( funeral march starts again )
278
00:13:43.281 --> 00:13:44.282
( slap )
279
00:13:44.324 --> 00:13:45.367
CHEEKY.
280
00:13:45.367 --> 00:13:47.660
OH, TEMPER, TEMPER.
281
00:13:49.454 --> 00:13:51.164
WELL, SOME OF US
DON'T LIKE
282
00:13:51.206 --> 00:13:53.958
HAVING MEN CRAWLING
OVER US THE WHOLE TIME.
283
00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:56.044
( growling )
284
00:13:57.212 --> 00:13:58.797
YOU NEED TO TAKE
285
00:13:58.838 --> 00:14:02.509
ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES
YOU CAN GET, DEAR.
286
00:14:02.550 --> 00:14:04.219
( squishing )
287
00:14:04.260 --> 00:14:06.137
UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE
I CAN MENTION
288
00:14:06.179 --> 00:14:08.431
I'M QUITE HAPPILY
MARRIED, THANK YOU.
289
00:14:08.473 --> 00:14:09.516
( creaking )
290
00:14:09.557 --> 00:14:10.850
( explosion )
291
00:14:10.892 --> 00:14:17.190
YES, ATHENA, I'VE BEEN
TEARING UP IN THE GARDEN.
292
00:14:17.232 --> 00:14:19.943
( gunshots )
293
00:14:24.656 --> 00:14:26.199
( roaring applause )
294
00:14:26.241 --> 00:14:27.742
( applause instantly stops )
295
00:14:27.867 --> 00:14:29.661
HELLO, GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME
296
00:14:29.703 --> 00:14:32.288
TO YET ANOTHER EDITION
OF "INTERESTING PEOPLE."
297
00:14:32.330 --> 00:14:34.708
AND MY FIRST INTERESTING
PERSON TONIGHT IS
298
00:14:34.749 --> 00:14:36.960
THE HIGHLY INTERESTING
MR. HOWARD STOOLS
299
00:14:37.002 --> 00:14:38.586
FROM KENDAL IN WESTMORELAND.
300
00:14:38.628 --> 00:14:40.714
( loud applause
starts abruptly )
301
00:14:40.755 --> 00:14:42.799
( applause suddenly turns off )
302
00:14:42.841 --> 00:14:45.176
GOOD EVENING, MR. STOOLS.
303
00:14:45.218 --> 00:14:46.302
Stools ( squeakily ):
HELLO, DAVID.
304
00:14:46.344 --> 00:14:48.346
MR. STOOLS, WHAT MAKES YOU
305
00:14:48.388 --> 00:14:50.390
PARTICULARLY INTERESTING?
306
00:14:50.390 --> 00:14:52.308
Stools:
WELL, I'M ONLY
HALF AN INCH LONG.
307
00:14:52.350 --> 00:14:54.060
WELL, THAT'S
EXTREMELY INTERESTING.
308
00:14:54.102 --> 00:14:57.063
THANK YOU FOR COMING ALONG ON
THE SHOW TONIGHT, MR. STOOLS.
309
00:14:57.105 --> 00:15:00.525
Stools:
I THOUGHT YOU'D THINK THAT WAS
INTERESTING, DAVID, IN FACT...
310
00:15:00.567 --> 00:15:03.862
MR. HOWARD STOOLS FROM KENDAL IN
WESTMORELAND, HALF AN INCH LONG.
311
00:15:03.903 --> 00:15:05.030
( applause starts )
312
00:15:05.071 --> 00:15:06.573
( applause suddenly stops )
313
00:15:06.614 --> 00:15:09.284
OUR NEXT GUEST TONIGHT HAS
COME ALL THE WAY FROM EGYPT.
314
00:15:09.325 --> 00:15:10.952
HE'S JUST FLOWN
INTO LONDON TODAY.
315
00:15:10.994 --> 00:15:13.705
HE'S MR. ALI BAYAN-- HE'S
WITH US IN THE STUDIO TONIGHT
316
00:15:13.747 --> 00:15:15.123
AND HE'S STARK RAVING MAD.
317
00:15:15.165 --> 00:15:17.042
( vocalizing madly )
318
00:15:17.083 --> 00:15:20.128
( canned applause )
319
00:15:20.170 --> 00:15:24.883
MR. ALI BAYAN, STARK RAVING MAD.
320
00:15:24.924 --> 00:15:26.509
NOW IT'S TIME FOR OUR MUSIC SPOT
321
00:15:26.551 --> 00:15:28.136
AND WE TURN
THE SPOTLIGHT TONIGHT
322
00:15:28.178 --> 00:15:29.929
ON THE RACHEL TOOVEY
BICYCLE CHOIR...
323
00:15:29.971 --> 00:15:31.806
( canned applause )
324
00:15:31.848 --> 00:15:34.434
WITH THEIR FANTASTIC ARRANGEMENT
OF "MEN OF HARLECH"
325
00:15:34.434 --> 00:15:36.561
FOR BICYCLE BELLS ONLY.
326
00:15:36.603 --> 00:15:41.816
KEEP, MY BABE,
NO ILL BETIDE THEE
327
00:15:41.858 --> 00:15:46.363
ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT.
328
00:15:46.404 --> 00:15:49.866
( bicycle bells ringing )
329
00:15:49.908 --> 00:15:51.201
( canned applause )
330
00:15:51.242 --> 00:15:53.078
THE RACHEL TOOVEY BICYCLE CHOIR.
331
00:15:53.119 --> 00:15:54.120
REALLY INTERESTING.
332
00:15:54.162 --> 00:15:55.914
REMEMBER, IF YOU'RE INTERESTING
333
00:15:55.955 --> 00:15:57.832
AND WANT TO APPEAR
ON THIS PROGRAM
334
00:15:57.874 --> 00:16:00.835
WRITE YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS
ON YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER
335
00:16:00.877 --> 00:16:02.545
AND SEND IT TO THIS ADDRESS.
336
00:16:08.885 --> 00:16:10.345
( canned applause )
337
00:16:10.387 --> 00:16:12.597
THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
338
00:16:12.639 --> 00:16:14.391
NOW HERE'S
AN INTERESTING PERSON.
339
00:16:14.432 --> 00:16:16.851
APART FROM BEING
A FULL-TIME STAPLING MACHINE
340
00:16:16.893 --> 00:16:19.854
HE CAN ALSO GIVE
A CAT INFLUENZA.
341
00:16:21.022 --> 00:16:22.482
( clears throat )
342
00:16:25.151 --> 00:16:28.154
( coughing )
343
00:16:35.912 --> 00:16:37.414
( cat sneezing )
344
00:16:38.915 --> 00:16:40.542
( meowing and sneezing )
345
00:16:40.583 --> 00:16:42.085
( canned applause )
346
00:16:42.127 --> 00:16:44.671
YOU CAN'T GET MORE INTERESTING
THAN THAT, OR CAN YOU?
347
00:16:44.713 --> 00:16:46.756
WITH ME NOW... WITH ME NOW
348
00:16:46.798 --> 00:16:49.926
IS MR. THOMAS WALTERS
OF WEST HARTLEPOOL
349
00:16:49.968 --> 00:16:52.012
WHO IS TOTALLY INVISIBLE.
350
00:16:52.053 --> 00:16:54.973
GOOD EVENING, MR. WALTERS.
351
00:16:55.015 --> 00:16:57.767
Walters:
OVER HERE, HUGHIE.
352
00:16:58.935 --> 00:16:59.936
( laughs nervously )
353
00:16:59.978 --> 00:17:01.146
( audience laughter )
354
00:17:01.187 --> 00:17:03.189
MR. WALTERS, ARE YOU
SURE YOU'RE INVISIBLE?
355
00:17:03.231 --> 00:17:07.777
OH, YES, MOST CERTAINLY.
356
00:17:07.819 --> 00:17:10.363
WELL, MR. WALTERS, WHAT'S
IT LIKE BEING INVISIBLE?
357
00:17:10.447 --> 00:17:14.242
( droning ):
WELL, FOR A START,
AT THE OFFICE WHERE I WORK
358
00:17:14.284 --> 00:17:17.620
I CAN BE SITTING
AT MY DESK ALL DAY
359
00:17:17.662 --> 00:17:20.790
AND THE OTHERS
TOTALLY IGNORE ME.
360
00:17:20.874 --> 00:17:24.502
AT HOME, EVEN THOUGH
WE ARE IN THE SAME ROOM
361
00:17:24.586 --> 00:17:28.798
MY WIFE DOES NOT
SPEAK TO ME FOR HOURS.
362
00:17:28.840 --> 00:17:35.055
PEOPLE PASS ME BY IN THE STREET
WITHOUT A GLANCE IN MY DIRECTION
363
00:17:35.096 --> 00:17:37.349
AND I CAN WALK
364
00:17:37.390 --> 00:17:38.516
INTO A ROOM
WITHOUT...
365
00:17:38.558 --> 00:17:40.518
WELL, WHILST WE'VE GOT
INTERESTING PEOPLE
366
00:17:40.560 --> 00:17:42.187
WE MET MR. OLIVER
CAVENDISH WHO...
367
00:17:42.228 --> 00:17:45.398
EVEN NOW YOU YOURSELF
DO HARDLY NOTICE ME...
368
00:17:45.440 --> 00:17:47.275
MR. OLIVER CAVENDISH
OF LEICESTER
369
00:17:47.317 --> 00:17:50.862
WHO CLAIMS TO BE ABLE TO RECITE
THE ENTIRE BIBLE IN ONE SECOND
370
00:17:50.904 --> 00:17:53.406
WHILST BEING STRUCK
ON THE HEAD WITH A LARGE AX.
371
00:17:53.448 --> 00:17:54.783
HA, HA, WOW!
372
00:17:54.783 --> 00:17:57.035
WE'VE SINCE DISCOVERED
THAT HE WAS A FRAUD.
373
00:17:57.077 --> 00:17:59.245
HE DID NOT... YES, A FRAUD.
374
00:17:59.287 --> 00:18:01.456
HE DID NOT IN FACT RECITE
THE ENTIRE BIBLE.
375
00:18:01.539 --> 00:18:04.000
HE MERELY RECITED
THE FIRST TWO WORDS, "IN THE"
376
00:18:04.042 --> 00:18:06.086
BEFORE HIS DEATH.
377
00:18:06.127 --> 00:18:08.171
( canned applause )
378
00:18:08.213 --> 00:18:10.090
Compére:
AND NOW IT'S TIME
FOR "INTERESTING SPORT"
379
00:18:10.131 --> 00:18:11.549
AND THIS WEEK
IT'S ALL-IN CRICKET
380
00:18:11.591 --> 00:18:13.802
LIVE FROM THE
MUNICIPAL BATHS, CROYDON.
381
00:18:13.843 --> 00:18:17.222
( spectators cheering )
382
00:18:23.061 --> 00:18:24.854
( canned applause )
383
00:18:24.896 --> 00:18:27.190
ALL-IN CRICKET, GREAT, GREAT!
384
00:18:27.232 --> 00:18:29.359
WITH ME NOW IS MR. KEN DOVE
385
00:18:29.401 --> 00:18:32.862
TWICE VOTED MOST
INTERESTING MAN IN DORKING.
386
00:18:32.904 --> 00:18:35.323
KEN, I BELIEVE YOU'RE
INTERESTED IN SHOUTING.
387
00:18:35.365 --> 00:18:38.576
( shouting ):
YES, I'M INTERESTED
IN SHOUTING, ALL RIGHT.
388
00:18:38.660 --> 00:18:41.329
BY JOVE, YOU CERTAINLY
HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD
389
00:18:41.371 --> 00:18:44.082
WITH THAT PARTICULAR
OBSERVATION OF YOURS THEN.
390
00:18:44.124 --> 00:18:45.291
WHAT DOES YOUR WIFE
THINK OF THIS?
391
00:18:45.375 --> 00:18:46.418
Woman ( shouting ):
I AGREE WITH HIM!
392
00:18:46.418 --> 00:18:48.086
SHUT UP!
393
00:18:48.128 --> 00:18:50.630
( droning ):
AT PARTIES, FOR INSTANCE
394
00:18:50.672 --> 00:18:52.507
PEOPLE NEVER COME UP TO ME.
395
00:18:52.590 --> 00:18:57.012
I JUST SIT THERE AND
EVERYBODY TOTALLY...
396
00:18:57.053 --> 00:18:59.431
NOW, THAT IS TIDDLES, I BELIEVE.
397
00:18:59.472 --> 00:19:02.392
UM, YES, THIS IS...
THIS IS TIDDLES.
398
00:19:02.434 --> 00:19:03.810
YEAH, AND WHAT DOES SHE DO?
399
00:19:03.810 --> 00:19:07.313
SHE FLIES ACROSS THE STUDIO
AND LANDS IN A BUCKET OF WATER.
400
00:19:07.355 --> 00:19:08.356
BY HERSELF?
401
00:19:08.398 --> 00:19:10.275
UH, NO, I FLING HER.
402
00:19:10.316 --> 00:19:12.360
WELL, THAT'S
EXTREMELY INTERESTING.
403
00:19:12.402 --> 00:19:16.156
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MR. DON SAVAGE AND TIDDLES.
404
00:19:19.159 --> 00:19:21.286
( Tiddles yowls )
405
00:19:23.747 --> 00:19:25.331
( hits bucket, water splats )
406
00:19:25.373 --> 00:19:29.794
( shouting ):
I'M MORE INTERESTING
THAN A WET PUSSYCAT.
407
00:19:29.836 --> 00:19:34.841
Walters ( droning ):
...FOR HOUR AFTER
HOUR AFTER HOUR...
408
00:19:34.883 --> 00:19:36.176
YES, GREAT.
409
00:19:36.217 --> 00:19:37.677
WELL, NOW FOR
THE FIRST TIME ON TELEVISION
410
00:19:37.719 --> 00:19:39.262
"INTERESTING PEOPLE" BRINGS YOU
411
00:19:39.304 --> 00:19:43.475
A MAN WHO CLAIMS HE CAN SEND
BRICKS TO SLEEP BY HYPNOSIS.
412
00:19:43.516 --> 00:19:46.311
MR. KEITH MANIAC
FROM GUATEMALA.
413
00:19:46.353 --> 00:19:47.604
GOOD EVENING.
414
00:19:47.645 --> 00:19:50.482
KEITH, YOU CLAIM YOU
CAN SEND BRICKS TO SLEEP.
415
00:19:50.523 --> 00:19:52.108
YES, THAT IS
CORRECT, I CAN.
416
00:19:52.150 --> 00:19:53.693
ENTIRELY BY HYPNOSIS.
417
00:19:53.735 --> 00:19:56.237
YES, I USE NO ARTIFICIAL
MEANS WHATSOEVER.
418
00:19:56.279 --> 00:19:57.280
( Stools screaming )
419
00:19:57.322 --> 00:19:58.615
OH, OH, OH!
420
00:19:58.656 --> 00:20:02.369
( shouting ):
YOU'VE INJURED
MR. STOOLS!
421
00:20:02.494 --> 00:20:03.787
WELL, I SIMPLY
422
00:20:03.828 --> 00:20:06.164
STARE AT THE BRICK,
AND IT GOES TO SLEEP.
423
00:20:06.206 --> 00:20:08.208
WELL, WE HAVE
A BRICK HERE.
424
00:20:08.249 --> 00:20:11.961
KEITH, PERHAPS YOU COULD
SEND IT TO SLEEP FOR US.
425
00:20:12.003 --> 00:20:15.423
OH, UH... WELL, I'M AFRAID
THAT IS ALREADY ASLEEP.
426
00:20:15.465 --> 00:20:16.633
( audience chuckles )
427
00:20:16.675 --> 00:20:17.842
HA! HOW DO YOU KNOW?
428
00:20:17.884 --> 00:20:18.927
( laughter )
429
00:20:18.927 --> 00:20:20.136
WELL, IT'S NOT MOVING.
430
00:20:20.178 --> 00:20:21.346
OH, I SEE.
431
00:20:21.388 --> 00:20:22.514
HAVE WE GOT
A MOVING BRICK?
432
00:20:22.555 --> 00:20:23.556
YES, WE'VE GOT
433
00:20:23.598 --> 00:20:24.641
A MOVING BRICK, KEITH.
434
00:20:24.683 --> 00:20:27.268
IT'S COMING OVER NOW.
435
00:20:32.524 --> 00:20:33.525
THERE WE ARE,
FAST ASLEEP.
436
00:20:33.608 --> 00:20:35.443
VERY GOOD,
VERY GOOD INDEED.
437
00:20:35.485 --> 00:20:36.486
YES, IT'S ALL DONE
438
00:20:36.569 --> 00:20:37.821
WITH THE EYES.
439
00:20:37.862 --> 00:20:40.782
YES, MR. KEITH MANIAC
FROM GUATEMALA.
440
00:20:40.824 --> 00:20:43.451
( shouting ):
MR. STOOLS!
441
00:20:46.246 --> 00:20:48.039
SPEAK TO ME, HOWARD!
442
00:20:48.081 --> 00:20:50.875
( spectators cheering )
443
00:20:54.796 --> 00:20:57.674
AND NOW FOUR TIRED UNDERTAKERS.
444
00:20:57.716 --> 00:21:00.760
( Chopin's "Funeral March"
playing )
445
00:21:42.594 --> 00:21:44.429
( laughter )
446
00:22:15.794 --> 00:22:18.213
( men groaning )
447
00:22:23.385 --> 00:22:26.221
( audience chuckling )
448
00:22:38.900 --> 00:22:41.319
( man grunting )
449
00:22:46.157 --> 00:22:48.201
( stomping )
450
00:22:48.243 --> 00:22:49.911
( audience laughing )
451
00:22:52.455 --> 00:22:54.666
( panting )
452
00:23:07.846 --> 00:23:10.056
( laughter )
453
00:23:10.098 --> 00:23:11.725
Man:
WE'RE INTERRUPTING THIS
454
00:23:11.766 --> 00:23:13.893
TO TAKE YOU BACK VERY QUICKLY
TO THE JIMMY BUZZARD INTERVIEW
455
00:23:13.935 --> 00:23:16.062
WHERE WE UNDERSTAND SOMETHING
EXCITING'S JUST HAPPENED.
456
00:23:16.104 --> 00:23:19.441
I'VE FALLEN OFF
MY CHAIR, BRIAN.
457
00:23:19.482 --> 00:23:25.780
( drumbeat with each
movement of coffin )
458
00:23:29.617 --> 00:23:31.619
( drum roll )
459
00:23:42.297 --> 00:23:43.715
( laughter )
460
00:23:53.975 --> 00:23:55.852
( laughter continues )
461
00:23:55.852 --> 00:23:57.937
( dog barking )
462
00:23:57.979 --> 00:24:00.231
( laughter )
463
00:24:05.028 --> 00:24:07.322
( drumbeat continues )
464
00:24:10.325 --> 00:24:12.619
( drum roll )
465
00:24:12.660 --> 00:24:19.042
( man and woman giggling )
466
00:24:19.084 --> 00:24:22.087
Man ( whispering ):
SHH! I THINK MY WIFE'S
BEGINNING TO SUSPECT.
467
00:24:22.170 --> 00:24:23.421
Man:
YOU, SHUT UP
UP THERE!
468
00:24:23.463 --> 00:24:24.464
Man:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"SHUT UP UP THERE"?
469
00:24:24.506 --> 00:24:25.507
YOU SHUT UP.
470
00:24:25.548 --> 00:24:27.592
OH, SHUT UP!
471
00:24:27.634 --> 00:24:29.052
( all shouting at once )
472
00:24:30.470 --> 00:24:32.097
( pounding )
473
00:24:33.264 --> 00:24:34.599
I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
474
00:24:34.641 --> 00:24:37.686
I THINK YOU'LL FIND THIS
A BIT MORE INTERESTING.
475
00:24:38.895 --> 00:24:40.855
( laughter )
476
00:24:40.897 --> 00:24:43.274
( bawdy musicplaying )
477
00:25:09.384 --> 00:25:13.138
( with man's voice ):
GOOD EVENING.
478
00:25:13.263 --> 00:25:16.224
TONIGHT I WANT TO EXAMINE
479
00:25:16.266 --> 00:25:22.230
THE WHOLE QUESTION OF 18th-
CENTURY SOCIAL LEGISLATION...
480
00:25:24.357 --> 00:25:25.984
ITS RELEVANCE
481
00:25:26.026 --> 00:25:31.489
TO THE HIERARCHICAL STRUCTURE
OF POST-RENAISSANCE SOCIETY...
482
00:25:33.408 --> 00:25:38.580
AND ITS IMPACT ON THE FUTURE
OF PAROCHIAL ORGANIZATION
483
00:25:38.621 --> 00:25:42.542
IN AN EXPANDING
AGRARIAN ECONOMY.
484
00:25:42.584 --> 00:25:43.626
( audience chuckles )
485
00:25:45.086 --> 00:25:48.506
BUT FIRST, A BIT OF FUN.
486
00:25:48.548 --> 00:25:52.677
( fast-paced drum riff )
487
00:26:04.064 --> 00:26:07.609
TO PUT ENGLAND'S
SOCIAL LEGISLATION
488
00:26:07.609 --> 00:26:10.028
IN A EUROPEAN CONTEXT
489
00:26:10.070 --> 00:26:13.031
IS PROFESSOR GERT VAN DER WHOOPS
490
00:26:13.073 --> 00:26:15.867
OF THE RIJKSMUSEUM
IN THE HAGUE.
491
00:26:15.909 --> 00:26:18.953
IN HOLLAND IN THE EARLY
PART OF THE 15th CENTURY
492
00:26:18.995 --> 00:26:22.248
THERE WAS THREE THINGS IMPORTANT
TO SOCIAL LEGISLATION.
493
00:26:22.290 --> 00:26:25.043
ONE, RISE OF MERCHANT CLASSES
494
00:26:25.085 --> 00:26:28.004
TWO, URBANIZATION
OF CRAFT GUILDS
495
00:26:28.046 --> 00:26:29.964
THREE, DECLINING MORAL VALUES
496
00:26:30.006 --> 00:26:32.717
IN AGE OF INCREASING
SOCIAL BETTERMENT.
497
00:26:32.759 --> 00:26:35.387
BUT FIRST, A BIT OF FUN.
498
00:26:35.428 --> 00:26:38.640
Choir:
DING, DONG, MERRILY ON HIGH
499
00:26:38.765 --> 00:26:41.142
IN HEAV'N
THE BELLS ARE RINGING.
500
00:26:41.184 --> 00:26:44.145
( clearing throat )
501
00:26:45.939 --> 00:26:46.940
OH!
502
00:26:46.981 --> 00:26:48.066
( clears throat )
503
00:26:48.108 --> 00:26:51.695
AND NOW PROFESSOR R.J. CANNING.
504
00:26:51.736 --> 00:26:57.242
Choir:
GLO-O-OR...
505
00:26:57.283 --> 00:27:01.538
THE CAT SAT ON THE MAT.
506
00:27:01.579 --> 00:27:05.083
AND NOW THE BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR.
507
00:27:07.085 --> 00:27:11.297
TONIGHT WE EXAMINE POPULAR VIEWS
OF THIS GREAT BATTLE.
508
00:27:11.339 --> 00:27:13.925
WAS THE BATTLE
OF TRAFALGAR FOUGHT
509
00:27:13.967 --> 00:27:16.678
IN THE ATLANTIC
OFF SOUTHERN SPAIN
510
00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:21.599
OR WAS IT FOUGHT ON DRY LAND
NEAR CUDWORTH IN YORKSHIRE?
511
00:27:21.641 --> 00:27:23.560
HERE IS ONE MAN
WHO THINKS IT WAS
512
00:27:23.601 --> 00:27:27.105
AND HERE IS HIS FRIEND.
513
00:27:27.147 --> 00:27:28.940
( laughter )
514
00:27:30.942 --> 00:27:32.360
Canning:
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
515
00:27:32.360 --> 00:27:35.822
THE BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR
WAS FOUGHT NEAR CUDWORTH?
516
00:27:44.456 --> 00:27:50.628
BECAUSE DRAKE WAS TOO CLEVER
FOR THE GERMAN FLEET.
517
00:27:50.670 --> 00:27:52.464
( laughter )
518
00:27:52.505 --> 00:27:54.507
Canning:
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
519
00:28:01.056 --> 00:28:02.974
I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT I SAID NOW.
520
00:28:03.016 --> 00:28:04.476
( audience laughs )
521
00:28:04.517 --> 00:28:07.312
Canning:
MR. GUMBY'S REMARKABLE VIEWS
HAVE SPARKED OFF
522
00:28:07.354 --> 00:28:11.608
A WAVE OF CONTROVERSY
AMONGST HIS FELLOW HISTORIANS.
523
00:28:11.649 --> 00:28:16.363
WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD, UH...
524
00:28:16.404 --> 00:28:21.326
REAPPRAISE OUR CONCEPT
OF THE BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR.
525
00:28:21.368 --> 00:28:27.248
( shouting ):
WELL, WELL, I AGREE WITH
EVERYTHING MR. GUMBY SAYS.
526
00:28:27.290 --> 00:28:33.588
WELL, UH, I THINK, UH,
CEMENT IS MORE INTERESTING
527
00:28:33.630 --> 00:28:35.632
UH, THAN PEOPLE THINK.
528
00:28:35.674 --> 00:28:39.719
ONE SUBJECT--
FOUR DIFFERENT VIEWS.
529
00:28:41.805 --> 00:28:45.934
12 AND SIX IN A PLAIN WRAPPER.
530
00:28:46.017 --> 00:28:51.231
THE STUFF OF HISTORY
IS INDEED WOVEN IN THE WOOF.
531
00:28:51.272 --> 00:28:53.316
PEARL HARBOR.
532
00:28:53.358 --> 00:28:56.444
THERE ARE PAGES
IN HISTORY'S BOOK
533
00:28:56.486 --> 00:28:59.280
WHICH ARE WRITTEN
ON THE GRAND SCALE--
534
00:28:59.322 --> 00:29:04.494
EVENTS SO MOMENTOUS THAT
THEY DWARF MAN AND TIME ALIKE.
535
00:29:04.536 --> 00:29:07.706
AND SUCH IS THE BATTLE
OF PEARL HARBOR
536
00:29:07.747 --> 00:29:09.165
REENACTED FOR US NOW
537
00:29:09.207 --> 00:29:12.544
BY THE WOMEN OF THE BATLEY
TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD.
538
00:29:12.585 --> 00:29:13.962
Canning:
MRS. RITA FAIRBANKS,
YOU ORGANIZED
539
00:29:14.004 --> 00:29:15.755
THIS RECONSTRUCTION OF
THE BATTLE OF PEARL HARBOR.
540
00:29:15.797 --> 00:29:17.340
WHY?
541
00:29:17.382 --> 00:29:20.802
UH, WELL, ALWAYS BEEN EXTREMELY
INTERESTED IN MODERN DRAMA.
542
00:29:20.844 --> 00:29:24.973
WE WERE, OF COURSE, THE FIRST
TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD TO PERFORM
543
00:29:25.015 --> 00:29:28.351
"CAMP ON BLOOD ISLAND,"
AND LAST YEAR, OF COURSE
544
00:29:28.393 --> 00:29:31.187
WE DID OUR EXTREMELY
POPULAR REENACTMENT
545
00:29:31.229 --> 00:29:33.064
OF "NAZI WAR ATROCITIES."
546
00:29:33.106 --> 00:29:34.649
AND SO, THIS YEAR
547
00:29:34.691 --> 00:29:37.902
WE THOUGHT WE'D LIKE TO DO
SOMETHING IN A LIGHTER VEIN.
548
00:29:37.944 --> 00:29:40.530
SO YOU CHOSE
THE BATTLE OF
PEARL HARBOR?
549
00:29:40.572 --> 00:29:42.032
YES, THAT'S RIGHT, WE DID.
550
00:29:42.073 --> 00:29:44.159
WELL, I CAN SEE
YOU'RE ALL
READY TO GO
551
00:29:44.200 --> 00:29:45.910
SO I'LL JUST WISH
YOU GOOD LUCK
552
00:29:45.952 --> 00:29:47.245
IN YOUR
LATEST VENTURE.
553
00:29:47.287 --> 00:29:49.039
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YOUNG MAN.
554
00:29:49.080 --> 00:29:50.331
LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN
555
00:29:50.373 --> 00:29:52.917
"THE WORLD OF HISTORY"
IS PROUD TO PRESENT
556
00:29:52.959 --> 00:29:55.712
THE PREMIERE
OF THE BATLEY
TOWNSWOMEN'S GUILD
557
00:29:55.837 --> 00:29:58.465
REENACTMENT OF "THE
BATTLE OF PEARL HARBOR."
558
00:29:58.506 --> 00:29:59.841
( whistle toots )
559
00:29:59.883 --> 00:30:03.803
( yelling and screaming )
560
00:30:22.030 --> 00:30:26.868
( pig grunting in distance )
561
00:30:29.204 --> 00:30:30.747
THE BATTLE OF PEARL HARBOR.
562
00:30:30.789 --> 00:30:33.833
INCIDENTALLY, I'M SORRY
IF I GOT A LITTLE BIT SHIRTY
563
00:30:33.875 --> 00:30:37.253
EARLIER ON IN THE PROGRAM,
WHEN I KEPT GETTING INTERRUPTED
564
00:30:37.295 --> 00:30:38.963
BY ALL THESE FILMS AND THINGS
THAT KEPT COMING IN, BUT I...
565
00:30:39.005 --> 00:30:40.965
"WE SHALL..."
566
00:30:41.007 --> 00:30:42.592
( laughter )
567
00:30:45.345 --> 00:30:46.638
( gunshots )
568
00:30:48.682 --> 00:30:51.768
"HERETOFORE SHALL THIS SOUL
BE RECEIVED UNTO..."
569
00:30:51.810 --> 00:30:54.270
( "Funeral March"playing )
570
00:31:12.872 --> 00:31:17.544
( zippy tune playing )
571
00:31:21.047 --> 00:31:22.966
AND SO I SAID
IF IT HAPPENED AGAIN
572
00:31:23.008 --> 00:31:25.844
I'D GET VERY ANGRY
AND TALK TO LORD HILL, AND...
573
00:31:25.885 --> 00:31:27.512
( humming )
574
00:31:27.595 --> 00:31:29.431
Canning:
TELL LORD HILL.
575
00:31:31.141 --> 00:31:36.312
( Sousa's "Liberty Bell March"
playing, applause... )
576
00:31:36.354 --> 00:31:39.441
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
577
00:31:39.482 --> 00:31:41.526
and A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
578
00:31:41.568 --> 00:31:43.403
WHOA!
579
00:31:43.445 --> 00:31:46.573
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH EducationaL Foundation]
40641
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