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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,269 Mom, we're starving. 3 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,676 Why tell me? 4 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,158 Do I look like Sally Struthers? 5 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,559 Besides, with the Super Bowl... 6 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,035 ...your father has taken away our food allowance... 7 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,676 ...so he can buy his own snacks for the game. 8 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,758 You think he'd mind if we just took a little? 9 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,679 Are you feeling lucky, punks? 10 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:03,312 Buck is cute though. 11 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,633 Let's get together as a family, kill him, and retake the fridge. 12 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,509 Mom, are we really doomed again to watch Dad... 13 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,518 ...sit in his Polk High uniform with a football in one hand... 14 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,631 ...and himself in the other? 15 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,313 Kids, please. 16 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,996 You think I like seeing him happy one day a year? 17 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,278 Well, what can I do? 18 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,040 I am banned from the house during the Super Bowl... 19 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,674 ...and I can't even call during the Bud Bowl. 20 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,913 Have you thought about taking the time to learn the game... 21 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,519 ...so you could watch together? 22 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,479 You mean so we could enjoy something as a couple? 23 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:42,195 No. So you could ruin any enjoyment he could possibly have... 24 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:43,719 ...during the game. 25 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:47,071 So he would leave the house and we could get our hands on his Cheetos. 26 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,032 And we could watch whatever we want. 27 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,236 - Well, how about the Super Bowl? - Sure. 28 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,550 Oh, that's a great idea. 29 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,910 Bud, teach me about football. 30 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,391 Okay, well, first we can go over some calls. 31 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:02,234 Okay, this is holding. 32 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,875 This is a reception. 33 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:10,393 And this is two weeks after dating Kelly. 34 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,633 Here's one you might recognize, Mom: 35 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,400 Bud on a Saturday night. 36 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,999 - Why, you... - Come on. Come and get it. 37 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,794 Kids! Kids, kids, kids. 38 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,837 Morticia, Wednesday, Pugsley. 39 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,711 Kids, your daddy's home. 40 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,558 Hi, Dad. 41 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,432 - AI, guess what. - Not now, Peg. 42 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,234 I have a big announcement. I need your complete attention. 43 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,398 Today I got the latest issue of Shoe News. 44 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,238 You know their motto: 45 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,398 "Before it's on your foot, it's in your head." 46 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,558 And I have it on good authority... 47 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:13,992 ...that they're coming out with a new, all-sport athletic shoe. 48 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,710 Oh, Al. 49 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,116 Kids, let us join hands... 50 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:24,233 ...and remember where we were on this mighty day. 51 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,112 Tell us more, Al. 52 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,153 Will they come in pairs, honey? 53 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,557 There's more, my little aneurysm. 54 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,230 It's going to be called the Zeus. 55 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,989 And they're kicking off their new ad campaign with a special commercial... 56 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,953 ...that will be shown during the Super Bowl. 57 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,436 And here's the part that means something to us: 58 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,313 They're going to use ex-jocks in this commercial. 59 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:55,036 You don't get it, do you? 60 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,708 Well, you should know that better than anyone, sweetheart. 61 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,596 Don't you see? Ex-jocks. 62 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,519 Who's the most famous ex-athlete in Chicago? 63 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,391 - Ernie Banks. - I said, athlete. 64 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,953 You know that means football. 65 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:18,397 - Gayle Sayers? - Can you be this thick? 66 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,033 Let me give you a hint. 67 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,033 The FTD florist? 68 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,994 No, you nitwit, me. 69 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,599 Polk High, all-city. 70 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,598 Most touchdowns in a single game. If you don't listen to me... 71 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,439 ...you've heard others talk about it in malls... 72 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,632 ...anywhere Americans gather to talk sports. 73 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,912 I'm a shoo-in for that commercial. 74 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,439 Get it, shoo-in? 75 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,950 Well, Shoe News will appreciate it. 76 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,833 Anyway, I'm just gonna go audition for that commercial... 77 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,713 ...and in a few short weeks you'll see your old Dad on TV... 78 00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,478 ...during the Super Bowl. 79 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,238 Now what have you got to say? 80 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:05,837 Honey, did you pick up those little blue disks for the toilet tank? 81 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,398 Yes. 82 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,548 - I'm putting it in. - No me. 83 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,512 - I'm putting it in! - Me! 84 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:20,475 Is not my news at least as exciting as a blue disk for a toilet? 85 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,069 Well, honey, I'm sure I'd be just as excited... 86 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:27,637 ...if I was married to the blue disk and it brought you home for the toilet. 87 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,549 I know what you're thinking. You're thinking... 88 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,354 ...I'm not gonna get this commercial. - Not at all. 89 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:38,269 I'm thinking you are a fool to even think you're getting this commercial. 90 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,869 Honey, you played high school football. 91 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,435 That doesn't mean anything to anyone anymore... 92 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,677 ...including me. And I'm your wife. 93 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:50,111 I took a vow to care and I don't. 94 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:57,148 You're just jealous because the ad said "ex-jocks," not "ex-brunettes." 95 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,319 You're not getting it, Al. They want someone famous. 96 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,431 I'm famous! 97 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:06,668 - Hi, guys. - Hi. 98 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:17,468 Who is the man who scored four touchdowns in a single game... 99 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,752 ...to clinch the city championship in 1966? 100 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,151 - Shaft. John Shaft. - No. 101 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,837 Who is the man who rushed for 200 yards against Garfield High? 102 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,356 - Shaft. He's a bad... - Shut your mouth. 103 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,395 Just talking about Shaft. 104 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,157 You people obviously don't know anything about football. 105 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:39,679 What do you care about? 106 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:45,510 Peggy, have you seen these fantastic blue disks for the toilet? 107 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,993 Why, this is the best thing that could have happened to Al. 108 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,437 Next to the invention of a bowl 6 feet wide with tall rims... 109 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,029 ...for the problem aimer. 110 00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:01,834 But now, unlike your career, you have something to shoot for. 111 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,151 You people can't be serious. 112 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,994 I want you to admit having played high school football... 113 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,714 ...is probably the most important thing a guy could do. 114 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:15,511 Yes, if a person died right after high school. 115 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:16,914 But don't worry, Al... 116 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,998 ...it's probably not too late for you to do something important. 117 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:24,591 Why some day, you may even stop a bullet meant for the president. 118 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,360 Oh, I'm sorry, Marcie. I must be boring you. 119 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:36,156 Anyone who obviously spends as much time in barber shops as you do... 120 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:41,078 ...must have heard every sports story a guy could hear. 121 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,388 You better cut that out, Al. 122 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:49,189 I think Marcie looks as cute as a button with her hair cut this way. 123 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,311 Thank you, honey. 124 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,552 Al, just to close up this subject: 125 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,957 It's not that we are belittling your place in sports history. 126 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:12,870 It's just that you are like a toilet without a blue disk. 127 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:18,879 Fine for its time, but now barely worth flushing. 128 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,749 Now give me a kiss and make me some coffee. 129 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,479 I will not. 130 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:27,798 I'm going to audition for this commercial, and get it, by God. 131 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,389 Then we'll see, when I go down for this interview... 132 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:34,752 ...who in Chicago doesn't know the name Bundy. 133 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,349 - Who? - Bundy. 134 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:41,518 B-U-N-D-Y. Al Bundy. 135 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,479 Made all-city back in '66. Four touchdowns. 136 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,559 And I'm not talking the whole year. One game. 137 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:53,832 Well, have a seat, and allow me time to cool off. 138 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,834 Miss Lagroin, who's on our list for today? 139 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:12,229 Well, there's Mr. Butkus, Mr. Carlton, Mr. Tarkenton, Mr. Namath... 140 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,954 ...and of course, Mr. Bindy. 141 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:19,278 He scored four touchdowns, not in one year, but in one game. 142 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,596 - Guess where? - High school. 143 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,990 Thought I'd die when I met him. 144 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,435 Well, send him in before the real athletes come. 145 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,234 Okay, Mom, now who's the guy who hikes the ball to the quarterback? 146 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,351 - The centre. - Very good. 147 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:45,199 Now who's the guy who rushes the passer? 148 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,709 - The defensive end. - Excellent. 149 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,838 Now who's the little foreign guy who can barely speak English... 150 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:55,955 ...never gets hit and is taking yet another job away from an American? 151 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,799 - The place-kicker. - Great job, Mom. 152 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,120 Now next, next we'll start on stats. 153 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,954 Oh, can I teach her the stats, please? 154 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,753 - Sure. - Okay. 155 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,837 Now, we have Alaska... 156 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:19,160 ...Alabama, Brazil... 157 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,351 Oh, and the two Georgias, North and South. 158 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,357 And yet, men still seem to like her. 159 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,073 Oh, there's your daddy's car. 160 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,555 Now, he's gonna come in here and tell us he failed. 161 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,513 So let's practice what we're gonna say to him. 162 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:47,039 The classics never die. 163 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,111 Laugh at this, hyenas: I got it. 164 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,834 I got the commercial. 165 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:08,628 I am the Zeus man. 166 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:26,315 So I think it's important to understand, before we get started... 167 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,317 ...that, yes, the shoes are important... 168 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:32,308 ...but let's not disappoint the public in what they've come to expect from me. 169 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,432 So let's try not to get too arty and lose sight of the man. 170 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,676 Oh, by the way, be careful how you shoot me... 171 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:42,829 ...because from certain angles it would appear I'm losing a hair or two... 172 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,632 ...you know what I mean? 173 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,270 Sure. Why tell me? I'm the caterer. 174 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,835 Put some food in my car and go away. 175 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,634 Hi, I'm Jerry Copeland the director. 176 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,269 Try not to speak directly to me. 177 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:05,237 Now, you will be portraying the common man. 178 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,517 Well, that will be a bit of a stretch for me, Jerr. 179 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,631 I played high school football, you know? 180 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,552 - You're speaking to me. - Sorry. 181 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,833 Well, anyhow, I'm sure you would want to meet your co-star in the first scene? 182 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,878 Not really, but I guess he'd like to meet me. 183 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,994 Bindy, meet Ed "Too Tall" Jones. 184 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,755 Too Tall? You gotta be kidding me. 185 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,952 Are you in the scene with me? Peg! Peg! Look who's... 186 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,590 Need someone to run your lines with you, baby? 187 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:50,193 Will someone please wheel the elderly woman away. 188 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,071 Okay. 189 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,999 We're ready. Well, you know what to do. 190 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,317 No I don't, Jerr. No, see, I never got a script. 191 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,511 Well, just follow your instincts, Bindy. 192 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,708 That must be what they tell Brando. 193 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,236 Not that I'm comparing myself with Brando. 194 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,000 He's fat. 195 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:19,755 Oh, by the way, Too Tall, my name is Al "Too Great" Bindy. 196 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,032 You... I'm sure you heard of me. Made all-city back in '66. 197 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:27,273 And you're the guy that was raiding the refrigerator in my trailer. 198 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,074 Twice. 199 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,792 What I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad about having to pull back. 200 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,228 Just don't hurt yourself. 201 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,710 Thanks a lot for making me feel welcome. 202 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,393 Ready. 203 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,636 - And, deck him! - "Deck" who? 204 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,999 Yes, Mom, personal foul. 205 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,913 Whoa, Too Tall, babe. Great rehearsal. 206 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,395 Now, let's just shoot the next one. Do you mind? 207 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,319 Not at all. I think you could see me pull back. 208 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:05,553 Okay, dust off the shoes and get the old guy back on his feet. 209 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,711 - Maybe we should do something. - Yeah. 210 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,068 Hey, Too Tall, can I get your autograph? 211 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,078 Hey, how did you get the name "Too Tall"? 212 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,278 Does it really refer to your height? 213 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,155 No. 214 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,474 Okay, for this one, all you have to do is bat. 215 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,433 Well, that's no problem. I play a little softball. 216 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,039 Only three-time MVP... 217 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,912 ...the 20-store-and-under mall league ever had. 218 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,838 One time we were playing Binky's Pets... 219 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:46,431 Great. Now, say hi to your co-star, Steve Carlton. 220 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,429 Put her right here, baby. 221 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,839 It's awful nice to meet you, Mr. Carlton. 222 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:06,594 You probably haven't thrown a baseball in a long time... 223 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,950 ...whereas I'm an active player, so, you know... 224 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,835 ...don't worry about looking bad because the camera will be on me. 225 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,514 I'm sure your heart is as big as the ball you use. 226 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,479 Okay. Places, everyone. 227 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,069 Okay, Steve. Now, it's no big deal. 228 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,590 - Just bean him. - No problem. 229 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:26,679 "Bean" who? 230 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,437 Yes, Mom, "intentional grounding." 231 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,915 Hey, there's an eyebrow on it. 232 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,351 Daddy, look, I got the ball. 233 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,794 No, Daddy, they're still looking for your ear... 234 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,117 ...but I'm gonna have him sign it right underneath your eyebrow. 235 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,675 How would you like it to read? 236 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,428 Okay, great. 237 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:10,355 Mr. Carlton, could you please sign this to "the late Al Bundy"? 238 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,118 Oh, yeah. 239 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:22,756 Okay, time to take his bandage off. 240 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:30,429 Al, honey, I've been thinking about this and I think we better go home. 241 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,039 I'm worried you might get hurt. 242 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,952 Don't worry about me, Peg. I'm fine. 243 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,469 Hey, will somebody answer that phone? 244 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,914 I'll get it myself. Hello? 245 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,032 Another damn wrong number. 246 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:44,912 Besides, Peg, this should be fun. 247 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:48,396 It's always been an amateur's dream to see how far he can go with a pro. 248 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,989 I used to do a little boxing. And what I wanna do... 249 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,555 ...is get in one good shot and get a bit of respect. 250 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:54,875 What I'm gonna do, Peg... 251 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:58,834 ...I'm not gonna wait for the director to say "action." I'm gonna cheat. 252 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,314 And when the guy gets in the ring, I'm gonna pop him with one. 253 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:15,919 A good right hand, right away. 254 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,635 And I don't care, pro or no pro, that's gotta hurt, Peg. 255 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,673 - Hey, you're... - Action! 256 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:32,796 Wow, he didn't even have time to spit out a whimpering "no mas." 257 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,478 Sugar Ray, very nice. 258 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,312 That was fun. 259 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,476 You know, it's every professional's dream... 260 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,319 ...to see how bad he can hurt a non-pro. 261 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,911 Help me. 262 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:51,430 Well, it looks like he's been hurt. We better make sure he's okay. 263 00:18:57,120 --> 00:19:00,590 Hey, did you hurt your hand on my dad's jaw? 264 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,518 Hey, I'm curious about your name. 265 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,109 How did you get the name Leonard? 266 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,916 Sugar Ray, I blinked and I missed the whole thing. 267 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:14,078 - Could you hit him again? - Sure, yeah. 268 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,632 Al, get up. 269 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,717 What thinking man would call a down-and-out pattern... 270 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:34,117 ...7 yards downfield when you need 8 for a first down? 271 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,038 Idiots. 272 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:40,159 - What's happening, Peg? - Shut up, Al, I'm watching the game. 273 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,633 So, what were those athletes really like? 274 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,070 Oh, well, they couldn't have been nicer. 275 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,829 At the party after the shoot we talked and we danced and... 276 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,268 It would have been great... 277 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,233 ...except that Al kept calling from the hospital. 278 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,276 Why I let him put me down as who to notify in case of emergency... 279 00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,993 ...I'll never know. 280 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,515 It's like they know when you're having a good time. 281 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,395 It's half-time. All right, Al's commercial should be on any second. 282 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,791 At last, America will finally see me in all my athletic glory. 283 00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,348 Zeus. 284 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,915 The all-sport shoe for the week end warrior. 285 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:19,315 You may not play lik e a pro. 286 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,672 You may not hit lik e a pro. 287 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,878 You may not fight lik e a pro. 288 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,479 But with Zeus, you won't have to. 289 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:51,471 Zeus, the shoes that will outlive you. 290 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,748 Hey, what happened to my face? 291 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,992 You inherited it from your father. 292 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,272 They can't do that to me. I'm the Zeus man, damn it! 293 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,471 Oh, well, I guess it really doesn't matter. 294 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,796 As long as my family saw me. They were there. 295 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,560 They saw me with those pros, and I took their best shots. 296 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,115 Who wants to be the first to put a pen in my mouth... 297 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,912 ...and get an autograph? 298 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:25,435 Good news, folks, our toilet disks finally come in green. 299 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,599 It's lik e having a pine tree in your toilet. 300 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,674 Well, at least I'll get to watch the game in peace. 301 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,508 And now uninterrupted by commercials... 302 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:52,759 ...we proudly present. ; Steel Magnolias. 303 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:57,036 Oh, no, not Steel Magnolias. 304 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,710 Buck. Buck, change the Super Bowl back on. I can't move. 305 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,831 You accidentally changed the channel. 306 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,148 Accident, my ass. 307 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,158 I love this movie. 308 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:14,559 Julia Roberts, so ill, so brave. 309 00:22:15,305 --> 00:22:21,774 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 24877

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