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Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
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Oh.
3
00:01:16.150 --> 00:01:17.149
Hello.
4
00:01:17.150 --> 00:01:19.150
Hello.
5
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That was quick.
6
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Well, obviously,
I know the house, so...
7
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So you have an unfair advantage.
Unfair advantage. Yes.
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Well, let's...
9
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Come on in.
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Are you not going to get the... Oh.
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Sorry, we weren't properly
introduced. I'm Ian, by the way.
12
00:02:04.150 --> 00:02:05.150
Hello.
13
00:02:07.150 --> 00:02:09.150
We'll just... Oh.
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It's Rachel, isn't it? Rebecca.
15
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Rebecca. I work with Jeremy. Oh.
16
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I say work with. I'm more on the
IT side, but obviously with him
17
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being the Office Manager,
there is a fair amount of overlap.
18
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He's more responsible
for infrastructure
19
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whereas I take more of a lead in
programme development. Right. Right.
20
00:02:36.150 --> 00:02:39.149
What did you say
your name was again? It's Ian.
21
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That's right. Yes.
Jeremy HAS mentioned you.
22
00:03:06.150 --> 00:03:08.150
Hm. Sh!
23
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I wonder who that was. Don't know.
24
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It could be a long game.
25
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Yes.
26
00:03:26.150 --> 00:03:29.149
So, how does it feel to be engaged,
Rachel? Rebecca.
27
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Rebecca. You set a date yet?
28
00:03:32.150 --> 00:03:34.149
9th November.
29
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Oh, dear.
30
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That's 9/11.
31
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You'll not forget that
in a hurry, will you?
32
00:03:43.150 --> 00:03:44.150
Oh.
33
00:03:45.150 --> 00:03:48.150
No, I hadn't thought of it
that way, to be honest.
34
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Well, you must.
35
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I was christened Richard Ian
Percival, if you can believe that.
36
00:04:01.150 --> 00:04:03.150
RIP.
37
00:04:06.150 --> 00:04:09.149
Boo. Oh, Carl. Get in quick.
38
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I heard you talking.
Very slack, Rebecca.
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00:04:11.150 --> 00:04:12.949
Why are you hiding in here?
40
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I didn't choose it, did I?
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Guilty as charged. Have you met Ian?
42
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No, I don't believe
I've had the pleasure. Carl.
43
00:04:20.150 --> 00:04:21.149
I'm Rebecca's brother.
44
00:04:21.150 --> 00:04:25.149
So, you must know all the nooks
and crannies of the house, then.
45
00:04:25.150 --> 00:04:26.149
Oh, yes.
46
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I spent most of my Christmases
hiding in various cupboards
47
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waiting for my bossy
little sister to find me.
48
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You never could, though, could you?
49
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Get in.
50
00:04:50.150 --> 00:04:51.149
Is Daddy playing?
51
00:04:51.150 --> 00:04:56.149
He said he would. He's out showing
Mark and Elizabeth the stables.
52
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He can do that afterwards.
We're meant to be playing the game.
53
00:04:59.150 --> 00:05:01.149
It's all right.
Keep your voice down.
54
00:05:01.150 --> 00:05:03.149
You'll give us all away.
55
00:05:03.150 --> 00:05:04.150
Yeah, chill out, bitch.
56
00:05:08.150 --> 00:05:10.150
Sorry, that was misjudged.
57
00:05:12.150 --> 00:05:14.149
Actually, it was quite funny.
58
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She is a bit of a bitch,
aren't you, Becks?
59
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Lollipops!
60
00:05:27.150 --> 00:05:32.150
Come and get your lollipops.
Where are those children hiding?
61
00:05:33.150 --> 00:05:37.149
Now, then, if I were going to
secrete myself in this room,
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00:05:37.150 --> 00:05:38.149
where would I go?
63
00:05:38.150 --> 00:05:41.150
Not behind those curtains. They're
a migraine waiting to happen.
64
00:05:43.150 --> 00:05:45.150
Oh, hanging around
the toilets, perhaps.
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00:05:47.150 --> 00:05:49.150
It, er, has been known.
66
00:05:50.150 --> 00:05:55.150
Or would I enjoy spending
time in the closet?
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00:05:57.150 --> 00:05:59.149
Oh, not interrupting
anything, I hope.
68
00:05:59.150 --> 00:06:00.150
Come on.
69
00:06:03.150 --> 00:06:06.149
It's like the back room
of Cinderella's at Wakefield.
70
00:06:06.150 --> 00:06:08.149
Has anyone got any poppers or lube?
Stuart.
71
00:06:08.150 --> 00:06:10.149
You two know each other, then,
do you?
72
00:06:10.150 --> 00:06:11.149
Unfortunately, yes.
73
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They're partners.
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00:06:13.150 --> 00:06:14.149
In what line?
75
00:06:14.150 --> 00:06:17.149
Well, used to be straight up
and down, but not any more.
76
00:06:17.150 --> 00:06:18.149
I'm in IT.
77
00:06:18.150 --> 00:06:19.149
Congratulations.
78
00:06:19.150 --> 00:06:22.149
I'm in SH-IT cos
I got in late last night, didn't I?
79
00:06:22.150 --> 00:06:25.149
Stuart, you can do what you like.
It doesn't bother me.
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00:06:25.150 --> 00:06:29.149
Oh, I see.
You're living together partners.
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Yeah, we're queer, dear,
get used to it.
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00:06:30.950 --> 00:06:32.149
That's it. I can't stay here.
83
00:06:32.150 --> 00:06:34.490
Carl, please.
84
00:06:34.500 --> 00:06:35.490
Stuart, behave.
85
00:06:35.500 --> 00:06:36.149
This party's not about you.
86
00:06:36.150 --> 00:06:38.150
It's about me and Jeremy,
so butt out. Carl.
87
00:06:41.150 --> 00:06:44.149
You're much prettier
when you're angry, and so are you.
88
00:06:44.150 --> 00:06:47.149
Anyway, changing the subject
slightly, I'm not being funny,
89
00:06:47.150 --> 00:06:49.149
but there's a man downstairs
that absolutely stinks.
90
00:06:49.150 --> 00:06:51.149
Yes, that's Stinky John.
91
00:06:51.150 --> 00:06:53.149
And what is it? Is it his clothes?
His breath?
92
00:06:53.150 --> 00:06:55.149
I don't know. He was at school
with us, wasn't he, Carl?
93
00:06:55.150 --> 00:06:57.149
Yes. That's when he was just John.
Not Stinky John.
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00:06:57.150 --> 00:07:01.149
Something must have happened to him.
He just stopped washing one day.
95
00:07:01.150 --> 00:07:02.149
Maybe we should trace it back.
96
00:07:02.150 --> 00:07:05.149
Maybe we should.
Who Do You Stink You Are?
97
00:07:05.150 --> 00:07:08.150
And what about all the other ones?
There was that really boring one.
98
00:07:11.150 --> 00:07:15.149
Yes, and, um, what about that
old woman that's wandering around?
99
00:07:15.150 --> 00:07:18.149
Oh, God, that's Geraldine.
She's Daddy's cleaner.
100
00:07:18.150 --> 00:07:21.149
I asked her to come and serve drinks
but she thinks she's a guest.
101
00:07:21.150 --> 00:07:23.149
That is hilar!
You've got to tell her.
102
00:07:23.150 --> 00:07:25.149
I can't now. She's all dressed up.
103
00:07:25.150 --> 00:07:28.149
Dressed up?
She looks like Feed The Birds.
104
00:07:28.150 --> 00:07:32.149
There's a sandwich man at work
who wears a yellow T-shirt.
105
00:07:32.150 --> 00:07:35.149
It's a jersey
but it's T-shirt material,
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and all the girls call him
Mustard Mike.
107
00:07:45.150 --> 00:07:48.149
Well, thank God I brought champagne.
108
00:07:48.150 --> 00:07:49.150
Who wants a swig?
109
00:08:12.150 --> 00:08:14.149
Found them! They're in here! Sh.
110
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That's it, is it? I've won?
No, you've got to hide as well.
111
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Oh, OK.
112
00:08:19.150 --> 00:08:21.149
No, in here! Us.
113
00:08:21.150 --> 00:08:23.849
Oh, there's not really
much space in there.
114
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That's why it's fun, apparently.
115
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I'm a little bit claustrophobic.
116
00:08:27.150 --> 00:08:28.149
Then it's even more fun.
117
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Quick, before someone sees you.
118
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So, what happens now?
119
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We wait for the others to find us.
120
00:08:49.150 --> 00:08:51.150
So, how do you win?
121
00:08:52.150 --> 00:08:54.150
Nobody wins. You just wait.
122
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Oh.
123
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All right.
124
00:09:04.989 --> 00:09:06.149
So, when does the game start?
125
00:09:06.150 --> 00:09:08.149
This is the game, Rachel.
We're playing it.
126
00:09:08.150 --> 00:09:11.149
Oh, so you're Rachel, are you?
127
00:09:11.150 --> 00:09:13.149
Yes, hello.
128
00:09:13.150 --> 00:09:16.150
Because I've been calling
Rebecca Rachel, haven't I? Yes.
129
00:09:18.150 --> 00:09:21.149
I think I just got mixed up because
Jeremy talks about you all the time.
130
00:09:21.150 --> 00:09:23.150
Does he?
131
00:09:24.150 --> 00:09:26.149
Yes.
132
00:09:26.150 --> 00:09:27.149
Who are you talking to?
133
00:09:27.150 --> 00:09:30.150
Which one are you again?
Rebecca. Yes.
134
00:09:32.150 --> 00:09:35.149
Oh, I've not seen this much wood
since I was... Don't.
135
00:09:35.150 --> 00:09:37.149
So what does Jeremy say about me?
I'm sorry?
136
00:09:37.150 --> 00:09:39.149
At work. You said he talks about me.
137
00:09:39.150 --> 00:09:41.149
Oh, just...
138
00:09:41.150 --> 00:09:44.150
the usual boring girlfriend stuff.
139
00:09:46.150 --> 00:09:48.149
Boring girlfriend?
140
00:09:48.150 --> 00:09:53.149
Not that you're boring. Just
the stuff he says about you is...
141
00:09:53.150 --> 00:09:54.150
Boring?
142
00:09:55.150 --> 00:09:56.150
Yes.
143
00:09:58.150 --> 00:10:01.149
Coming from you, Ian,
that's quite something. Thank you.
144
00:10:01.150 --> 00:10:02.149
You're welcome.
145
00:10:02.150 --> 00:10:05.149
Is anyone else getting hot?
146
00:10:05.150 --> 00:10:08.149
I just need to open the door a crack.
I just need to get some air.
147
00:10:08.150 --> 00:10:10.149
Wait till Stinky John gets here.
You'll need more than a crack.
148
00:10:10.150 --> 00:10:13.149
Is Stinky John playing?
Everybody's playing. It's Sardines.
149
00:10:13.150 --> 00:10:16.149
Oh, I don't know if I can stay in
here if he gets in. I do get a bit...
150
00:10:16.150 --> 00:10:18.149
Don't worry. Me and you
will nip through to Narnia,
151
00:10:18.150 --> 00:10:20.149
have a snowball fight,
get some Turkish Delight.
152
00:10:20.150 --> 00:10:23.149
I'm sorry. I need to breathe.
No, you're not allowed.
153
00:10:23.150 --> 00:10:25.149
She's allowed to breathe.
154
00:10:25.150 --> 00:10:27.149
I wouldn't mind stretching
the old legs, actually.
155
00:10:27.150 --> 00:10:29.150
Been in here a while.
156
00:10:30.150 --> 00:10:32.149
What? Oh, this is ridiculous.
157
00:10:32.150 --> 00:10:33.149
I'm going to have a pee-break then.
158
00:10:33.150 --> 00:10:35.149
That champagne's gone
right through me.
159
00:10:35.150 --> 00:10:36.149
Well, don't flush it.
160
00:10:36.150 --> 00:10:38.949
Don't worry. You know my motto.
If it's yellow, let it mellow.
161
00:10:38.950 --> 00:10:40.149
If it's brown, flush it down.
162
00:10:40.150 --> 00:10:42.150
Oh, occupied!
163
00:10:44.150 --> 00:10:47.849
Sorry! Well, that's something
I shall never un-see.
164
00:10:47.850 --> 00:10:49.149
Who is it? Feed The Birds.
165
00:10:49.150 --> 00:10:50.149
Geraldine.
166
00:10:50.150 --> 00:10:53.150
Shouldn't she be using
the staff toilets?
167
00:11:02.150 --> 00:11:03.149
You OK?
168
00:11:03.150 --> 00:11:05.149
What's the matter with you?
169
00:11:05.150 --> 00:11:09.150
What do you think, Rebecca?
Look where we are.
170
00:11:13.150 --> 00:11:16.149
There you go, lovey.
Doesn't have a lock.
171
00:11:16.150 --> 00:11:19.150
It's an en suite.
You warmed the seat for me.
172
00:11:22.150 --> 00:11:24.149
I heard you all talking in there.
173
00:11:24.150 --> 00:11:26.149
I just didn't want to disturb you.
174
00:11:26.150 --> 00:11:28.149
That's a bomby dress.
175
00:11:28.150 --> 00:11:30.149
Thank you. I got it in Paris.
176
00:11:30.150 --> 00:11:34.150
My hip went that colour when
I fell up some steps at Legoland.
177
00:11:36.150 --> 00:11:39.149
I was just getting some air.
I'm a bit claustrophobic.
178
00:11:39.150 --> 00:11:41.149
Is that why you can't bear
to touch a snake?
179
00:11:41.150 --> 00:11:43.149
'You've got that,
haven't you, Carl?'
180
00:11:43.150 --> 00:11:45.150
I'd hardly call it a snake, Stuart.
181
00:11:46.150 --> 00:11:48.149
More like a scaly lizard.
182
00:11:48.150 --> 00:11:50.149
'I heard that.' Good.
183
00:11:50.150 --> 00:11:53.149
Right. Shall we...
184
00:11:53.150 --> 00:11:54.150
assume the position?
185
00:11:56.150 --> 00:11:57.150
It's just a game.
186
00:12:01.150 --> 00:12:03.150
Wait for me!
187
00:12:05.150 --> 00:12:06.149
Room for little 'un.
188
00:12:06.150 --> 00:12:07.150
Of course there is.
189
00:12:11.150 --> 00:12:14.150
It's like the time and relative
dimension in space.
190
00:12:17.150 --> 00:12:18.150
TARDIS.
191
00:12:21.150 --> 00:12:24.150
So, Rachel, tell me again
how you know Jeremy.
192
00:12:27.150 --> 00:12:28.149
Um...
193
00:12:28.150 --> 00:12:30.150
Rachel is Jeremy's ex, Geraldine.
194
00:12:32.150 --> 00:12:34.149
Oh, that's it.
195
00:12:34.150 --> 00:12:37.149
I knew it was something
I wasn't supposed to mention.
196
00:12:37.150 --> 00:12:40.149
We're just mates now. Text buddies.
197
00:12:40.150 --> 00:12:42.149
He BBMs me every now and again
at weekends.
198
00:12:42.150 --> 00:12:44.149
Oh, lovely.
199
00:12:44.150 --> 00:12:49.149
Yeah, he BBMs me a lot, too.
Always BBMing.
200
00:12:49.150 --> 00:12:52.150
What it is to be young.
201
00:12:56.150 --> 00:12:59.149
It's been ages
since I've been in this room.
202
00:12:59.150 --> 00:13:01.149
Your dad usually keeps it locked.
You know, after...
203
00:13:01.150 --> 00:13:05.149
We're not going down that road,
Geraldine. It's a party, remember?
204
00:13:05.150 --> 00:13:07.150
Oh, yes.
205
00:13:09.150 --> 00:13:11.149
♪ Why am I always the bridesmaid
206
00:13:11.150 --> 00:13:14.149
♪ Never the blushing bride
207
00:13:14.150 --> 00:13:18.149
♪ Ding dong, wedding bells
208
00:13:18.150 --> 00:13:22.149
♪ Only ring for other girls
209
00:13:22.150 --> 00:13:24.149
♪ One fine day
210
00:13:24.150 --> 00:13:27.149
♪ Oh let it be soon
211
00:13:27.150 --> 00:13:34.150
♪ I shall wake up in the morning
on my own honeymoon. ♪
212
00:13:36.150 --> 00:13:39.150
Right, I'm coming back in.
Nobody fart.
213
00:13:42.150 --> 00:13:46.150
Smell that. Carbolic. We should get
some of that for our en suite.
214
00:13:47.150 --> 00:13:48.149
This is fun, isn't it?
215
00:13:48.150 --> 00:13:51.149
Thank you, Geraldine. Yes, it is.
216
00:13:51.150 --> 00:13:52.150
Fun.
217
00:13:56.150 --> 00:13:58.149
Do you have a girlfriend, Ian?
218
00:13:58.150 --> 00:14:01.149
No. No.
219
00:14:01.150 --> 00:14:04.150
Young, free and single
at the moment.
220
00:14:05.150 --> 00:14:07.149
I'm not being a monk.
221
00:14:07.150 --> 00:14:11.150
I've had some experiences, but no.
222
00:14:12.150 --> 00:14:14.150
Pretty barren at the moment.
223
00:14:16.150 --> 00:14:17.150
A pretty arid patch.
224
00:14:19.150 --> 00:14:22.150
We'll have to get it fixed up,
won't we? Yes.
225
00:14:23.150 --> 00:14:26.149
Do you like him, Rachel? No, no, no.
226
00:14:26.150 --> 00:14:30.149
I have a boyfriend. His name is Lee.
Did you meet him downstairs?
227
00:14:30.150 --> 00:14:36.149
Yes, he gave me his jacket
and asked me to get him a drink.
228
00:14:36.150 --> 00:14:40.149
Oh he's only young. How young?
Is he legal? He's 21. Oh, toy boy.
229
00:14:40.150 --> 00:14:43.149
You know what they say. If there's grass
on the wicket, let play commence.
230
00:14:43.150 --> 00:14:45.150
Oh, for fuck's sake,
Stuart. Give it a rest.
231
00:14:46.150 --> 00:14:48.149
What's gotten into you?
232
00:14:48.150 --> 00:14:52.149
Can't you just talk like a normal
human being for five minutes? Sh.
233
00:14:52.150 --> 00:14:53.150
Mark, in here.
234
00:14:54.629 --> 00:14:56.149
Have you managed
to get rid of him yet?
235
00:14:56.150 --> 00:14:58.149
Yeah, he's gone off
to look for the others.
236
00:14:58.150 --> 00:15:03.149
God, I loathe playing other people's
family games. It's trouble.
237
00:15:03.150 --> 00:15:04.695
We should have been done by now.
238
00:15:04.750 --> 00:15:06.149
You said we'd be away by three.
239
00:15:06.150 --> 00:15:09.149
Why don't you just do the lie
about the babysitter being ill?
240
00:15:09.150 --> 00:15:12.149
Because it needs to be seeded.
You need to seed it.
241
00:15:12.150 --> 00:15:14.149
Doesn't need to be seeded.
You just say it.
242
00:15:14.150 --> 00:15:18.149
"Oh, I'm awfully sorry, we've got to go now.
Babysitter's not feeling very well." Boom.
243
00:15:18.150 --> 00:15:20.246
You're so naive, Mark.
Listen, listen.
244
00:15:20.250 --> 00:15:23.149
Old man may be tedious, but he's
our way into Dicky Laurence, yeah?
245
00:15:23.150 --> 00:15:25.149
So, we have to put a shift in.
246
00:15:25.150 --> 00:15:28.149
I thought you hated Dicky Laurence.
Yeah, I hate Dicky Laurence.
247
00:15:28.150 --> 00:15:29.149
He's a first-class prick,
248
00:15:29.150 --> 00:15:32.149
but I need him to smooth over
that merger next year, yeah?
249
00:15:32.150 --> 00:15:33.149
You know what they say.
250
00:15:33.150 --> 00:15:35.149
Keep your friends close,
but your enemies closer.
251
00:15:35.150 --> 00:15:38.149
Such a horrible shit, Mark.
252
00:15:38.150 --> 00:15:40.150
That's why you bloody love me.
253
00:15:45.150 --> 00:15:47.150
No! Mark, stop it. Come on!
254
00:15:48.150 --> 00:15:50.150
Just fingers.
255
00:15:53.150 --> 00:15:54.823
Someone could walk in on them.
256
00:15:54.850 --> 00:15:58.149
Well, that's the thrill of it, Geraldine.
Get out of the way, I'm going to film it.
257
00:15:58.150 --> 00:16:01.150
No, you don't. Pervert.
Quick, someone make a noise.
258
00:16:08.150 --> 00:16:11.149
I think that was
a bit too subtle, Ian.
259
00:16:11.150 --> 00:16:13.149
Geronimo!
260
00:16:13.150 --> 00:16:14.150
Fuck.
261
00:16:28.150 --> 00:16:32.149
Oh, you found us. Well done.
262
00:16:32.150 --> 00:16:34.149
What the hell?! Sardines.
263
00:16:34.150 --> 00:16:37.150
Hello, Mark.
Welcome to the wardrobe.
264
00:16:39.150 --> 00:16:42.150
Ian. I work for you.
265
00:16:43.150 --> 00:16:46.149
In IT.
266
00:16:46.150 --> 00:16:47.149
Of course. Hi.
267
00:16:47.150 --> 00:16:50.149
We've been hiding in here for ages
waiting for someone to find us,
268
00:16:50.150 --> 00:16:54.149
and these doors are so thick,
we didn't hear anything, did we?
269
00:16:54.150 --> 00:16:56.150
No, no. No.
270
00:16:58.150 --> 00:17:01.149
Do you want to come in then?
Before Daddy finds us? Um...
271
00:17:01.150 --> 00:17:04.149
Yeah, I'm a teeny bit worried
about the babysitter.
272
00:17:04.150 --> 00:17:06.149
She said she's feeling
under the weather.
273
00:17:06.150 --> 00:17:08.150
Oh, well, so you did.
274
00:17:09.150 --> 00:17:12.150
No, I'm sure we'll be all right
for a few minutes, won't we? Yup.
275
00:17:13.150 --> 00:17:16.150
Yeah, looks like a lot of fun.
276
00:17:19.150 --> 00:17:20.149
All right.
277
00:17:20.150 --> 00:17:22.150
I'm getting in.
278
00:17:23.150 --> 00:17:25.149
Yes. Everybody watch my shoes.
279
00:17:25.150 --> 00:17:27.499
Or maybe I should just take them
off... Just get in Liz. Yes, good.
280
00:17:27.550 --> 00:17:30.149
The sooner we start.
You stay in there next to Rachel.
281
00:17:30.150 --> 00:17:32.149
Rebecca. Sorry.
282
00:17:32.150 --> 00:17:35.149
It's my engagement party.
Nobody seems to know my name.
283
00:17:35.150 --> 00:17:39.149
No, it's just that Jeremy
always says...
284
00:17:39.150 --> 00:17:40.150
What?
285
00:17:42.150 --> 00:17:44.149
This one's Rachel.
286
00:17:44.150 --> 00:17:47.149
Oh, hello. Nice to meet you.
287
00:17:47.150 --> 00:17:48.150
Nice to meet you, too.
288
00:17:50.150 --> 00:17:53.149
Ah, there you are.
Already been in here once.
289
00:17:53.150 --> 00:17:55.149
Lee, come in.
We're having such a laugh.
290
00:17:55.150 --> 00:17:58.149
Wardrobe. Can't believe
I didn't check the fucking wardrobe.
291
00:17:58.150 --> 00:18:01.149
I'm a knob. Is everything all right?
I thought I heard someone shouting.
292
00:18:01.150 --> 00:18:03.149
That was me. I said "Geronimo!"
293
00:18:03.150 --> 00:18:05.149
Don't ask me why.
294
00:18:05.150 --> 00:18:08.149
Have you met everyone?
Lee, this is Ian.
295
00:18:08.150 --> 00:18:09.149
He's... Works with Mark.
296
00:18:09.150 --> 00:18:11.149
For Mark, actually.
I own the company.
297
00:18:11.150 --> 00:18:14.149
Oh, yeah. Well, if you ever
need any roofing doing.
298
00:18:14.150 --> 00:18:18.149
You know Rebecca, obviously.
And this is Mark's wife, Elizabeth.
299
00:18:18.150 --> 00:18:19.149
Hello.
300
00:18:19.150 --> 00:18:22.150
Hi. You all right?
You look like you've been crying.
301
00:18:23.150 --> 00:18:26.149
It's just a little bit
dusty in here, that's all.
302
00:18:26.150 --> 00:18:31.149
And this is Rebecca's brother, Carl.
And that's Stu, his...
303
00:18:31.150 --> 00:18:34.149
Flatmate. Pleased to meet you.
304
00:18:34.150 --> 00:18:36.149
Flatmate? And this is Geraldine.
305
00:18:36.150 --> 00:18:37.149
Oh, yeah, I know, yeah.
306
00:18:37.150 --> 00:18:40.149
Wouldn't mind a cheeky top up
if you don't mind, love. Pardon?
307
00:18:40.150 --> 00:18:42.149
Little cheeky champers. Or succa.
308
00:18:42.150 --> 00:18:44.149
Why do you keep asking me?
309
00:18:44.150 --> 00:18:46.149
Rebecca said you were
serving drinks. No.
310
00:18:46.150 --> 00:18:50.149
No. I'm a guest.
He's got his wires crossed.
311
00:18:50.150 --> 00:18:53.149
Yes, we're all guests here.
All equal.
312
00:18:53.150 --> 00:18:55.149
I used to be their nanny.
313
00:18:55.150 --> 00:18:58.149
I've known all three of them
since they were so high.
314
00:18:58.150 --> 00:19:00.149
Three of them? Mmm.
315
00:19:00.150 --> 00:19:02.149
Yes, we have a sister. Caroline.
316
00:19:02.150 --> 00:19:05.149
Is she not coming, Becky?
I'd love to see the boys again.
317
00:19:05.150 --> 00:19:07.149
They must be getting quite big now.
318
00:19:07.150 --> 00:19:11.150
No, they can't make it.
It's a bit too far to travel. Oh.
319
00:19:13.150 --> 00:19:15.149
I'll go get my own drink then,
shall I?
320
00:19:15.150 --> 00:19:18.149
Here we go, Lee. I've got some
contraband you can have.
321
00:19:18.150 --> 00:19:21.149
We'll form a splinter group
under the bed.
322
00:19:21.150 --> 00:19:22.149
You can't do that.
323
00:19:22.150 --> 00:19:25.150
It's all right.
I'm sure my flatmate won't mind.
324
00:19:26.150 --> 00:19:27.150
Come on, then.
325
00:19:30.149 --> 00:19:31.149
Are you trying to bum me?
326
00:19:31.150 --> 00:19:33.149
I'm sorry, Stuart.
That's against the rules.
327
00:19:33.150 --> 00:19:35.149
Homophobic?
328
00:19:35.150 --> 00:19:37.149
Oh, you've got that,
haven't you, lovey?
329
00:19:37.150 --> 00:19:38.460
No, I'm claustrophobic.
330
00:19:38.550 --> 00:19:40.149
Well, it is a little crowded
in here.
331
00:19:40.150 --> 00:19:44.149
Yes, it's almost like
we're a tin of sardines.
332
00:19:44.150 --> 00:19:46.149
Actually, Colin, why don't you step
out for a minute and give us
333
00:19:46.150 --> 00:19:52.149
a bit of room. Yes.
I mean, it's Ian, but, yes.
334
00:19:52.150 --> 00:19:56.149
Yes. Sorry. Ian.
Under the bed with those two, yeah?
335
00:19:56.150 --> 00:19:57.149
Sorry, private party.
336
00:19:57.150 --> 00:19:59.149
No, you cannot play Sardines in this.
337
00:19:59.150 --> 00:20:04.150
Everyone is hiding in the same place
together. That's what makes it fun.
338
00:20:18.150 --> 00:20:22.149
Oh, yes. Oh, Lee. That's nice.
Oh, keep doing that.
339
00:20:22.150 --> 00:20:25.149
What big hands you've got. Oh, yes.
340
00:20:25.150 --> 00:20:26.149
'Lee?'
341
00:20:26.150 --> 00:20:28.149
Babe, I'm not doing anything.
342
00:20:28.150 --> 00:20:30.149
'Leave him alone, Stuart.'
343
00:20:30.150 --> 00:20:32.149
What's the matter, Carl?
You jealous? 'Piss off.'
344
00:20:32.150 --> 00:20:35.149
Stop arguing, you two.
This is ridiculous.
345
00:20:35.150 --> 00:20:37.149
It's not my fault
you're afraid of intimacy, Carl.
346
00:20:37.150 --> 00:20:40.149
'And it's not my fault either.
347
00:20:40.150 --> 00:20:41.150
'You have no idea.'
348
00:20:56.150 --> 00:20:58.149
Ta-da.
349
00:20:58.150 --> 00:20:59.149
John.
350
00:20:59.150 --> 00:21:03.149
Oh, looks like I'm one of the last
to join the party.
351
00:21:03.150 --> 00:21:05.150
Can I squeeze in? No.
352
00:21:07.150 --> 00:21:09.149
I just think it's a bit too full.
353
00:21:09.150 --> 00:21:11.150
No, there's plenty of room.
354
00:21:13.150 --> 00:21:15.149
I feel sick.
355
00:21:15.150 --> 00:21:16.149
Breathe through your mouth.
356
00:21:16.150 --> 00:21:19.149
Actually, John, some people
are hiding under the bed.
357
00:21:19.150 --> 00:21:22.149
Oh, no, you don't. Just what
thinks I'm a bit claustrophobic.
358
00:21:22.150 --> 00:21:24.149
That's not the game, is it?
359
00:21:24.150 --> 00:21:28.149
You're all meant to be squashed in
together. That's the rules.
360
00:21:28.150 --> 00:21:30.549
Yes, but we thought it doesn't really
matter about the rules.
361
00:21:30.550 --> 00:21:33.550
As long as we're all in the same
room it still counts.
362
00:21:36.150 --> 00:21:38.150
All right. As you wish.
363
00:21:41.150 --> 00:21:44.149
Actually, John,
there really isn't room under here.
364
00:21:44.150 --> 00:21:47.149
There's suitcases and everything.
365
00:21:47.150 --> 00:21:50.149
Isn't that right, Lee?
Packed mate. Sorry.
366
00:21:50.150 --> 00:21:53.149
I don't think I'd fit under there
anyway, to be honest.
367
00:21:53.150 --> 00:21:56.149
What with the old 26 pack.
368
00:21:56.150 --> 00:21:59.149
Yeah, you're better off going
with the wardrobe group.
369
00:21:59.150 --> 00:22:00.150
All right.
370
00:22:02.150 --> 00:22:04.150
'I'm back again.'
371
00:22:06.150 --> 00:22:09.149
Hang on. What's going on here?
372
00:22:09.150 --> 00:22:11.149
Is it caught or something?
373
00:22:11.150 --> 00:22:15.149
It's stuck, John.
Maybe try going in the bathroom.
374
00:22:15.150 --> 00:22:17.149
First time for everything.
375
00:22:17.150 --> 00:22:20.149
I can see what it is. It's fingers.
376
00:22:20.150 --> 00:22:22.149
Someone's holding it
with their fingers.
377
00:22:22.150 --> 00:22:24.149
No, we're trying to push it.
378
00:22:24.150 --> 00:22:26.149
Oh, let him in. Poor lad.
379
00:22:26.150 --> 00:22:29.150
We can't. Mark, tell them.
Try again behind the curtain.
380
00:22:30.150 --> 00:22:33.150
All right. Funniest game of Sardines
I've ever played.
381
00:22:35.150 --> 00:22:36.149
Ah.
382
00:22:36.150 --> 00:22:39.149
You haven't seen Rebecca
anywhere, have you, John?
383
00:22:39.150 --> 00:22:41.149
Oh, caught red-handed.
384
00:22:41.150 --> 00:22:43.149
She's... hiding in the wardrobe.
385
00:22:43.150 --> 00:22:46.149
But you can't get in.
Door's stuck, apparently.
386
00:22:46.150 --> 00:22:47.149
Right. Thanks.
387
00:22:47.150 --> 00:22:49.149
And there's two under the bed.
388
00:22:49.150 --> 00:22:51.150
It's a shambles.
389
00:22:55.150 --> 00:22:58.149
Becks. It's Jeremy. Hi.
390
00:22:58.150 --> 00:23:00.350
Listen, darling, I've just got to
pop down to the station.
391
00:23:00.369 --> 00:23:03.679
Pick up a chum who's running a bit
late. I can't seem to find my keys.
392
00:23:03.750 --> 00:23:06.149
You haven't had them, have you?
No, they're in your jacket.
393
00:23:06.150 --> 00:23:10.149
'No, I've looked. They're not there. I can't find them.
I might have to take the Mini. Is that OK?'
394
00:23:10.150 --> 00:23:13.149
All right. Drive safely, though.
395
00:23:13.150 --> 00:23:17.150
'Love you.' Love you too, Rachel.
Rebecca.
396
00:23:22.150 --> 00:23:24.150
Rebecca, I love you.
397
00:23:29.150 --> 00:23:31.149
What is that awful smell?
Hello, Andrew.
398
00:23:31.150 --> 00:23:33.149
Searched this room, have you?
399
00:23:33.150 --> 00:23:36.149
Yes. I believe there are some people
hiding in the wardrobe.
400
00:23:36.150 --> 00:23:40.149
Some under the bed, and Stinky
John... John is behind the curtains.
401
00:23:40.150 --> 00:23:44.150
No, that is absolutely wrong.
Come out from there, boy.
402
00:23:45.150 --> 00:23:47.149
You all have to be in the same place.
403
00:23:47.150 --> 00:23:51.149
This isn't Hide and Go Seek.
You know the rules, don't you?
404
00:23:51.150 --> 00:23:53.149
Well? Yes, sir.
405
00:23:53.150 --> 00:23:56.150
Come on. Out, out.
406
00:23:59.150 --> 00:24:00.750
It's like the Diary Of Ann Frank.
407
00:24:00.829 --> 00:24:02.149
Hi, Daddy.
408
00:24:02.150 --> 00:24:04.149
Five more sardines to go in the tin.
409
00:24:04.150 --> 00:24:06.149
Sorry, Andrew, it's just I need
to... Come on. In you go.
410
00:24:06.150 --> 00:24:08.149
That's it.
411
00:24:08.150 --> 00:24:09.150
Come along.
412
00:24:20.150 --> 00:24:21.149
There we go.
413
00:24:21.150 --> 00:24:24.149
That's the name of the game.
Sardines.
414
00:24:24.150 --> 00:24:26.149
This is fucking mental.
415
00:24:26.150 --> 00:24:29.149
I've got to tweet a picture of this.
416
00:24:29.150 --> 00:24:31.149
Oh, God. Here we are.
417
00:24:31.150 --> 00:24:33.150
Right. Smile, everyone.
418
00:24:38.150 --> 00:24:41.150
It's just they both start
with an R, so I...
419
00:24:45.150 --> 00:24:48.150
Would anyone like a mint? John?
420
00:24:50.150 --> 00:24:52.149
No, thank you.
421
00:24:52.150 --> 00:24:55.150
Are you sure?
They're very refreshing.
422
00:24:56.150 --> 00:24:59.149
They give me diarrhoea.
423
00:24:59.150 --> 00:25:01.149
Oh, dear God.
424
00:25:01.150 --> 00:25:04.149
I'll have one, actually. I've got
something catching in my throat.
425
00:25:04.150 --> 00:25:06.150
Pass them round.
426
00:25:11.150 --> 00:25:15.149
Andrew. Elizabeth was just asking
after Dicky Laurence.
427
00:25:15.150 --> 00:25:17.149
How is he these days?
428
00:25:17.150 --> 00:25:20.149
Dicky Laurence?
Haven't spoken to him in two years.
429
00:25:20.150 --> 00:25:23.149
Dreadful man. Ah, I thought...
430
00:25:23.150 --> 00:25:25.149
Ah, you thought you were going to
use me as a stepping stone, did you?
431
00:25:25.150 --> 00:25:29.150
Well, tough titty. That bridge
was burned a long time ago.
432
00:25:31.150 --> 00:25:32.150
Babysitter.
433
00:25:35.150 --> 00:25:37.150
You're still in love with her,
aren't you?
434
00:25:47.150 --> 00:25:51.149
We used to love playing Sardines
at parties, didn't we, Dad?
435
00:25:51.150 --> 00:25:54.149
Oh, yes.
We used to call it an icebreaker.
436
00:25:54.150 --> 00:25:56.149
Do you remember the Sardines song?
437
00:25:56.150 --> 00:25:58.149
Of course.
438
00:25:58.150 --> 00:26:01.149
♪ A baby sardine
saw his first submarine... ♪
439
00:26:01.150 --> 00:26:03.149
Don't you dare sing that.
440
00:26:03.150 --> 00:26:05.150
My house.
I'll do what I bloody well like.
441
00:26:16.150 --> 00:26:18.351
Is it just me or is there,
like, a shitty smell in here?
442
00:26:24.150 --> 00:26:27.150
Do you remember the year
we had the Cub Scouts jamboree?
443
00:26:28.150 --> 00:26:30.149
Chaos it was. Kiddies everywhere.
444
00:26:30.150 --> 00:26:32.149
That was a long time ago.
445
00:26:32.150 --> 00:26:35.149
We were having such a laugh.
446
00:26:35.150 --> 00:26:40.150
And then this one little boy
spoiled it. What was his name?
447
00:26:42.150 --> 00:26:44.149
I think we ought to be
making a move now.
448
00:26:44.150 --> 00:26:48.150
Oh, the police were involved and
everything. Do you remember, John?
449
00:26:49.150 --> 00:26:51.149
Phillip Harrison.
450
00:26:51.150 --> 00:26:53.149
That's it. Little Pip.
451
00:26:53.150 --> 00:26:55.149
Whatever happened to him?
452
00:26:55.150 --> 00:26:59.149
Family moved away, as I recall.
Spain or Somerset.
453
00:26:59.150 --> 00:27:00.150
Mmm, good riddance I say.
454
00:27:01.150 --> 00:27:04.149
Accusing you of such
horrible things.
455
00:27:04.150 --> 00:27:06.149
He paid them to go away.
456
00:27:06.150 --> 00:27:11.149
I was teaching the boy how to wash
himself. Basic hygiene.
457
00:27:11.150 --> 00:27:14.150
Well, we weren't all that lucky.
458
00:27:15.150 --> 00:27:16.150
Were we, John?
459
00:27:19.150 --> 00:27:21.149
I can smell carbolic soap.
460
00:27:21.150 --> 00:27:23.150
All right. That's enough.
461
00:27:34.150 --> 00:27:36.150
Now, before I ring Jeremy Kyle...
462
00:27:37.150 --> 00:27:41.149
..can I just say there's no-one actually
looking for us any more. We're all here.
463
00:27:41.150 --> 00:27:43.150
No, that Ian fella's not here.
464
00:27:44.150 --> 00:27:47.149
Yes, I've got to go and pick him
up from the station actually, so...
465
00:27:47.150 --> 00:27:50.149
Erm, he's in the bathroom, I think.
What?
466
00:27:50.150 --> 00:27:53.150
He's a boring chap with glasses.
467
00:27:54.150 --> 00:27:55.150
Oh, no, that's not Ian.
468
00:28:10.150 --> 00:28:15.149
♪ A baby sardine
saw his first submarine... ♪
469
00:28:15.150 --> 00:28:16.150
'Hello?'
470
00:28:18.150 --> 00:28:22.149
♪ He was scared and watched
through the peephole... ♪
471
00:28:22.150 --> 00:28:24.150
'What's going on?'
472
00:28:27.150 --> 00:28:31.150
♪ Oh, come, come, come,
said the sardine's mum... ♪
473
00:28:33.150 --> 00:28:34.149
'Open this door.'
474
00:28:34.150 --> 00:28:38.150
♪ It's only a tin full of people. ♪
475
00:28:40.150 --> 00:28:42.150
Pip?
476
00:28:57.893 --> 00:29:22.720
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