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1
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,600
# When the world
in which you're living
2
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:12,000
# Gets a bit too much to bear
3
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,960
# And you need someone to lean on
4
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,800
# When you look, there's no-one there
5
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:23,560
# You're gonna find me
out in the country
6
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:28,520
# You're gonna find me
Way out in the country #
7
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:29,960
(SHEEP BLEATS)
8
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,840
NICKY: So, what shall we do today?
9
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,240
STEVE: Oh, please, let's not play
that game again.
10
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,600
We just end up getting depressed.
Oh, come on.
11
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,400
It's Sunday morning. We're back in
our old place in Leeds.
12
00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,120
What shall we do? All right.
13
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:49,200
Do you fancy going for breakfast
at that cafe in the park?
14
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,640
Oh, yeah, and then we'll look round
the market.
15
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,400
Maybe go for a pint.
Why not?
16
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,440
We could ask if Jenny and Cal
wanna join us.
17
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,160
They'll be in there already.
Yeah, all our mates will be.
18
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,720
Could go to the cinema afterwards.
Walk home, phone out for a curry.
19
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:05,440
Twenty minutes later, there's a bloke
in a helmet standing on the doorstep
20
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,960
with a big bag of food
all ready to eat.
21
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,960
God, I hate it here.
22
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,880
I always thought
growing our own vegetables
would make me happy.
23
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,720
Why? It's just like going shopping
24
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:29,320
except you come back with backache
and mud on your shoes.
25
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,200
Is that it? I know.
They're rubbish, aren't they?
26
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,640
I wouldn't say rubbish.
Maybe call it your organic range.
27
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:39,200
They're better than your marmalade.
Nothing wrong with my marmalade.
28
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,400
Just a bit runny.
And fizzy.
29
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,800
Took the enamel off the sink
when I tipped it away.
30
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,080
Should have kept it,
used it as paint stripper.
31
00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,920
Could have come in handy
if we ever do the living-room.
32
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,440
(SIGHS) Take a bit more
than paint stripper in there.
33
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,520
I suppose we could always
make a start on it.
34
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,960
What, the living-room? (SCOFFS)
We've got to tackle it some time.
35
00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,600
Now? Well, yeah.
Come on, we'll do it together.
36
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,280
(SIGHS) It's such a big job.
37
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:10,880
Yeah, I know,
but we can't keep putting it off. Hm?
38
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,720
Right. (SIGHS)
39
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:24,680
I think I'll go and get some milk.
Yeah, and we need some bread.
40
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:57,480
BOTH: Coo-ee!
41
00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,000
...along the top field and then
back down through the spinney.
42
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,320
It's a lovely walk.
You really should try it.
43
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,080
Well, erm...
We don't use the car.
44
00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:09,520
Why, what's wrong with it? Nothing.
We're going car-free for a month.
45
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:13,600
We really don't miss it.
And it's good for the planet.
46
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,760
Is, erm... Is Nicky not here?
47
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,520
Oh, she's gone to the shop
to get some bread.
48
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,000
Still not making your own?
It's ever so easy.
49
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,440
We make it together, don't we?
50
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:30,720
We don't like bread from the shops.
It's not good for you. Mm.
51
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,040
So, is there a message
I can pass on to Nicky?
52
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,880
What it is,
we couldn't help noticing
53
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,800
that you've got
some old timber outside.
54
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:42,000
What? It's under a tarpaulin.
Oh, that.
55
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,920
It's been there a while,
and we just wondered
56
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,120
if you were ever going to use it.
Oh... Because if you're not,
57
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,320
I'd be happy
to take it off your hands for you.
58
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,040
I'm making a chicken coop.
59
00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,920
Matt's really good with wood.
He's been doing some carving.
60
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,800
It's a hobby, really.
Bit of a side-line.
61
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:02,600
Anyway, I prefer to use recycled
materials, because they're...
62
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,720
What, free?
(LAUGHS)
63
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,960
No, we just don't believe
in things going to waste.
64
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,920
I mean, obviously, if you need it...
65
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,760
But it has been there
for an awfully long time.
66
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:18,280
Actually, I think we do need it,
cos I'm gonna be making a...
67
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,360
er...wooden thing.
68
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,160
A wooden thing?
Yeah, out of wood.
69
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,840
What sort of thing? You know,
a thing...to keep things in.
70
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:31,880
What, you mean a box? Er, bit more
than a box, actually. Yeah.
71
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:35,920
In fact, I'm about to get on with it,
so I'll let Nicky know that,
72
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,720
er, you were here.
73
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,520
£2.20.
74
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,200
Oh, OAP lunch club.
75
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:52,680
Is that a regular thing, then?
Gareth?
76
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,240
There's someone wants
to go to the lunch club.
No, I don't want to go.
77
00:04:57,320 --> 00:05:00,120
Is it a regular thing?
GARETH: You what?
78
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,720
The lunch club,
is it a regular thing?
79
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,720
Does someone want to go, then?
No, I don't want to go. Eh?
80
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,120
She doesn't want to go.
Well, why did she ask?
81
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,000
Well, why did you ask?
I don't know.
82
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:15,120
I just thought
I might help out or something.
83
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,880
Oh, hello, dear.
I thought it were you.
84
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:22,280
Oh, hello, Alice.
I wouldn't help out
at the lunch club, if I were you.
85
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,360
You'll get no thanks from that lot.
86
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:28,720
They just take advantage.
Oh, right. Well, thanks for the tip.
87
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,880
But if you do want
to help an old lady,
88
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,280
you could take me
to my doctor's appointment tomorrow.
89
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,880
Still, it was nice of you to offer.
(SCOFFS)
90
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,040
Not sure "offer"
is the word I'd use.
91
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,040
So, what's wrong with her?
Dunno. Chronic blagging syndrome?
92
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,520
If it's only over in Alandale,
it won't take you long.
93
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,040
I know. It's not as if
I've got any work lined up.
94
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,920
Be careful. You'll turn into
one of those volunteer types.
95
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,080
You know, all cats, no friends.
96
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,200
Like we can afford a cat.
97
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:59,720
What's that? You gonna build a boat?
Er, yeah, I might...
98
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,120
Or a treehouse.
99
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,040
I've got to do something
with all that wood outside,
100
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,920
so probably just have a bonfire.
(CAR DOOR SHUTS OUTSIDE)
101
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,560
Oh, great. It's my dad.
102
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,200
Leg of lamb, or leg of pork?
103
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,560
I won the meat raffle
at the bowls club.
104
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,520
Do they still have meat raffles?
105
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:27,760
Why wouldn't they?
Well, it's just funny,
the idea of meat as a prize.
106
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:30,000
If you don't want it,
I'll go to the fairground
107
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,840
and try and win you
a giant teddy bear.
108
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,520
(SIGHS) No, it's lovely, thanks.
109
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,640
We'll take the pork. Done.
About time I won something.
110
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,000
That Ralph Norris,
last month, he won the beef,
111
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:44,120
month before that, sausages,
month before that, six chops
and a pound of mince.
112
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,240
You tell me that's not a fix.
Well, could just be lucky.
113
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,240
Lucky no-one's cut the brake cable
on his car.
114
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,480
Anyway, I'll drop it off tomorrow.
115
00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,560
That'll make you a nice dinner.
116
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,080
You all right for veg?
117
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,880
BOTH: Yeah.
118
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,480
Right. I'm off to take
an old lady to the doctor's.
119
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,760
Life doesn't get more exciting
than that.
120
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,800
Oh, think yourself lucky.
I'm gonna be chasing up invoices.
121
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,120
I mean, you design someone
a website...
122
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,600
Why are your clients
so rubbish at paying?
123
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,800
I know. If you can't trust a firm
like Terry's Second-Hand Car Spares
124
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:21,760
to pay up on time, who can you trust?
125
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,640
If the worst comes to the worst,
I could take up mini-cabbing.
126
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:26,880
Good idea.
Do you need a website designed?
127
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,560
Do you know anyone good?
Hah. It's cash up front.
128
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:39,320
Hello, Alice. Hello, dear.
It's ever so kind of you.
129
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,160
Oh, it's no trouble.
Would you mind taking this for me?
130
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:45,160
No, of course. What have you got
a suitcase for, Alice?
131
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:49,200
I just packed a few things in case
they have to keep me in overnight.
132
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:50,960
Oh, do they have beds
at the surgery?
133
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:55,360
The surgery? Oh, no, dear.
We're going to the hospital.
134
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,440
What, in Leeds?
Yes, that's it.
135
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,920
But you said your doctor's
was in Alandale.
136
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,040
You said you had an appointment.
That's right, dear.
137
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,000
My doctor is in Alandale,
138
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:10,280
and he's made an appointment for me
at the hospital in Leeds.
139
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,080
(MOBILE PHONE RINGING)
140
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,480
You'll never guess what.
She wants me to take her
to the hospital.
141
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,320
What, all the way there?
Crafty cow.
142
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,440
You wanted a day out in Leeds.
A day out with you and my mates,
143
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,200
not in a hospital,
staring at a pensioner's bunions.
144
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,840
Maybe you could do something else
while she's in there.
145
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:35,240
Actually, that's a thought.
Could see if Jen's around,
meet up for a coffee and a chat.
146
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,440
Well, there you are.
You'll have a great time.
147
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,560
Think of me stuck here,
doing my invoices.
148
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:42,040
Have you started, then?
Yeah, yeah.
149
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,480
Ploughing through them.
Anyway, you have fun. Bye.
150
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,480
(BEEPING) Could you pop
your seatbelt on, Alice?
151
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,640
I don't get on with seatbelts.
Yeah, but you do have to wear them,
152
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,600
otherwise we'll have that noise
all the way to the hospital.
153
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,040
Why does it make it
do that noise, then?
154
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,640
To remind you
to put your seatbelt on.
155
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,120
I don't get on with seatbelts.
156
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,960
# IGGY POP: I'm Bored
157
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,520
(SIGHS)
158
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,840
Do you mind if I have some music on?
159
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,000
Oh, is there a radio?
160
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,280
I couldn't have Hello Yorkshire on,
could I?
161
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:07,680
I love that Gavin Hartley,
the way he talks about his cats.
162
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,560
GAVIN HARTLEY: ...And this morning,
Mr Snuggles was ever so cross
163
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,120
because I'd forgotten
to clean out his litter tray.
164
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,080
Oh, he gave me such a look.
165
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,360
His little whiskers
were twitching... Oh!
166
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,280
(DISTANT BUZZING OUTSIDE)
167
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,600
(YELLS)
168
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:03,720
Oh!
169
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,240
Aaagh!
170
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,000
No! Aagh!
171
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,160
(LAUGHING)
(SIGHS)
172
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,760
Your face! "Aagh!"
173
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,240
Grizzo, you scared the life
out of me.
174
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:35,400
Nicky's chainsaw. I brought it back.
She lent it to me the other day. Oh.
175
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,440
Been doing some pruning? Eh?
176
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:41,400
Oh, no, no. What it is,
did some keyboards for Beyonce.
177
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,560
She gave me a four-poster bed
as a thank you.
178
00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:47,320
French, or something. Antique.
Anyway, I couldn't fit it
through the front door.
179
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,920
Oh, you didn't... Yeah.
180
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,680
(MIMICS CHAINSAW) (LAUGHS)
181
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,640
Just got to work out a way
of sticking it back together now.
182
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,400
Here's a thought.
183
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,880
Do you reckon
if we started up this chainsaw,
184
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,680
I could fly it up there
and take off those high branches?
185
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,560
Absolutely not. Please don't try.
Oh, come on.
186
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,400
GAVIN: (ON RADIO)
I had to take him to the vet
187
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,080
to have his claws trimmed,
but he wasn't having any of it.
188
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,760
One glimpse of his carrier basket
and he shot upstairs...
189
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:24,000
How long do you think
it'll take us to get to the hospital?
190
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,240
About an hour and a half,
depending on the traffic.
191
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,440
Do you mind
if we stop for the toilet?
192
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,160
What, now?
193
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:34,640
You're probably thinking I should
have gone before I left the house.
194
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,960
No. Well, I did.
195
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,360
It's just, at my age...
196
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:43,000
Don't worry.
I'll find us somewhere to stop.
197
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,360
Where's the strangest place
you've ever found your pet cat?
198
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,600
Next thing I know,
the buzzard's attacking it.
199
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,600
(MIMICS BUZZARD)
Knocks it out of the sky,
lands on top of a lorry.
200
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:55,440
Three weeks later,
I get a call from a bloke in Krakow.
201
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,520
"Have you lost the drone?"
"Nothing to do with me, mate."
202
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,240
Anyway, this one's top of the range.
203
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,800
I'm not even supposed to have it,
cos I'm not in NATO.
204
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,320
Can I ask you a question, Grizzo?
Do you ever get bored?
205
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,560
Bored? Me? Yeah, all the time.
206
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:13,600
So how do you cope?
Buy something new.
207
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:16,680
That's what you're supposed to do
when you're bored, innit?
208
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,040
But what if you can't
just keep buying new things?
209
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,840
You've just gotta find something
to take your mind off it.
210
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,120
It's like the other day.
I was sitting at home, really bored.
211
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:30,320
I thought, "What am I doing here,
stuck in the middle of nowhere?"
212
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:34,320
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Nothing to do.
No-one to talk to. I know.
213
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,280
So what did you do?
I went to Florida.
214
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,720
I suddenly realised
I'd never seen Cape Canaveral.
215
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,960
Amazing place. You should go.
216
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,160
Do you know
how they brush their teeth in space?
217
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,680
Er... That reminds me.
If you see Matt and Meena,
218
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:47,960
tell 'em I got their kids
some spacesuits.
219
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:51,640
I'll drop 'em round later.
Anyway, I best be getting on.
220
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,640
Gotta work up a set list
for Glastonbury.
221
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,840
Do you want your, er...
Oh, yeah.
222
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,720
McCartney wants to do a duet. Ahh!
(TUTS) Laters.
223
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,000
I've got some invoices to chase up,
so... (DOOR CLOSES)
224
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,160
(SIGHS)
225
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,600
Ah!
226
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,920
Yeah, great, Jenny.
I'll meet you there.
227
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,200
I'll give you a call
when I've dropped her off. Bye.
228
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:17,840
Ooh, that's better.
Right, well, on we go.
229
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:24,480
You all right, Alice? Would you mind
if we had a quick cup of tea?
230
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,160
Only I'm parched.
231
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:45,160
You sure you don't want anything?
No, I think I'll wait till lunch.
232
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,200
I suddenly got very hungry.
Yeah, you said.
233
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,600
It's very kind of you to treat me.
234
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,480
Oh...
235
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,520
It's no bother.
236
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:01,840
Oh, did I see they had
some barley sugars by the counter?
237
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,320
You wouldn't mind getting me some,
would you, just for the journey?
238
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,400
(SIGHS) Right you are.
239
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,240
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
240
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,720
MEENA: Hello?
241
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,720
Oh, Steve, thank God you're in.
242
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,080
Meena, what's the matter?
It's Matt.
243
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:28,440
He's had a whittling accident.
A what? Whittling.
244
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,200
He'd finished carving a salad bowl
245
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,840
and he thought we needed
salad servers to go with it.
246
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,160
Yeah... The spoon
was quite straightforward,
247
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,080
but the fork
was more tricky. Yeah...
248
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,920
And the craft knife slipped,
and now his thumb is practically
hanging off.
249
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,480
Have you called an ambulance?
Yes, but it's going to be
50 minutes.
250
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,680
Could we use your car?
Nicky's got it. Can't you use yours?
251
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,040
We've gone car-free.
But it's an emergency.
252
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,400
But Matt posted the key
to his sister in case
we were tempted to use it.
253
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,040
Oh, you're joking.
It was a family decision!
254
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,200
All right, I'll come
and see what I can do.
255
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,720
I hope he's all right.
Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine.
256
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,760
Matt can't stand the sight of blood.
257
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,160
It's not his fault.
He's actually got a phobia.
258
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:14,280
Maybe he should choose a hobby
that doesn't involve sharp objects.
259
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,960
ALICE: It's a shame
we couldn't have had a pudding.
260
00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,480
NICKY: Well, we don't want to miss
your appointment.
261
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:24,320
You couldn't unwrap
this barley sugar for me, could you?
262
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:28,680
I am driving, Alice.
Only it's my arthritis.
263
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,000
Meena, where the hell
have you been? Steve's here.
264
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:38,280
Oh, hello, Steve.
Daddy hurt his thumb.
265
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,200
It's a bit more serious
than that, Silas.
266
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,640
Where's Pipps? I don't know.
I've got half a bloody thumb
hanging off.
267
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,160
You got the car?
Pipps? Nicky's got it.
She's gone to the hospital in Leeds.
268
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,040
Bit ironic.
Oh, that is great.
269
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,920
Pipps?
And this is ruined.
270
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000
It's supposed to be a present
for my sister.
271
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,680
She's a vegan.
She's not gonna appreciate
a bloodstained salad bowl.
272
00:16:56,760 --> 00:17:00,160
Ow! This really hurts!
Oh, there you are, Pipps.
273
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,560
Daddy said a bad word.
Shut up, Silas!
274
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,960
Right.
You give me a ring when you're done
275
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,600
and I'll come back as soon as I can.
Righto. Thank you, dear.
276
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,200
So, where do I go?
277
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:19,440
Reception. Just inside, I expect.
What do I say to 'em?
278
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,520
Well, you just tell them that you...
279
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,120
All right, I'll come in with you.
Oh, would you, dear?
280
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,040
That's ever so kind of you.
281
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,720
Don't take it out on the children!
Don't tell me what to do!
282
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,640
I'm sorry, Steve.
No, you carry on.
283
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,400
I've lost a lot of blood.
I could pass out at any moment.
284
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,120
Where is this ambulance?
285
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,520
I'm the ambulance!
Nee-naw, nee-naw, nee-naw!
286
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:44,040
I'm a nurse!
Or a doctor.
287
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:47,000
You could be a doctor, Pipps.
Will you please be quiet?
288
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,520
BOTH: Nee-naw, nee-naw!
(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)
289
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,600
Hi, Ken. Where the heck are you?
I've got a leg of pork here.
290
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,280
Oh, Ken, I'm sorry.
I completely forgot.
I'm up at Matt and Meena's.
291
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,320
Bit of an emergency.
Matt's cut his finger.
292
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:02,080
Thumb. I cut my thumb. His thumb.
We're waiting for an ambulance.
293
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,160
Let's go and do a puzzle.
294
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,640
Sounds to me
like everyone is panicking.
295
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,960
You need someone
who knows what they're doing.
296
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,400
I'll be straight up. (SIGHS)
297
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,720
Thank you, dear. (CHUCKLES)
What am I like?
298
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,600
Fancy getting the wrong day.
It's next Monday.
299
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,360
I should have checked.
Never mind.
300
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,800
I'll just ring my friend,
and I'll get you home.
301
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,680
Thank you, dear.
302
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,800
Oh, I just had a thought.
303
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,240
We'll be passing
right by my sister's.
304
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:39,200
We could stop by and see if she's in.
I haven't seen her for ages.
305
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,560
Oh, Alice, I think we should...
If you wouldn't mind.
306
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,520
(SIGHS)
307
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,840
(MATT GROANING)
308
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,560
Just keep his thumb under the tap.
309
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,040
Yeah, I know. That's what I'm doing.
He'll live.
310
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:57,600
I don't feel very well.
You don't look very well.
311
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,960
It's only a flesh wound.
They'll sew it back on.
312
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,040
I've seen a lot worse.
313
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:06,520
A fella at our workshop,
he was using the bandsaw.
314
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,640
Didn't have the guard on.
Got distracted.
315
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:11,200
Took his arm clean off
at the shoulder.
316
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,800
Yeah, Ken...
Cut straight through the bone.
317
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,400
Luckily, the sawdust
soaked up most of the blood.
318
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:19,400
Ken. That's why they have
sawdust at the butcher's.
319
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:23,280
Oh, that reminds me. Would you mind
putting this in your fridge?
320
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:34,040
That's our uncle Tommy,
and that's his wife Ida.
321
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:37,120
She had a sister who worked
at Debenhams. Did she?
322
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,480
Now, what were her name? Mary?
323
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,560
No, that were Arnold's sister.
324
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,920
Was it Maude?
No, it weren't Maude.
325
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:47,080
There were a Maude.
She married a tailor.
326
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,800
Could it have been Mavis?
Now, what were his name? Reginald.
327
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,920
The two of them moved to Whitby,
bought a bungalow.
328
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,520
Oh, I thought it was a flat.
329
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,560
No, you're thinking
of George and Rita.
330
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,800
Didn't George work at Debenhams?
(CLOCK TICKING GROWS LOUDER)
331
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,680
Yes, he did.
They made him deputy...
332
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,240
I'm so sorry
I shouted at you, pumpkin.
333
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,560
It's only a bang on the head.
He'll be fine.
334
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:13,280
Oh, it's a bit more than a bang
on the head. Think he's delirious.
335
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,600
Ahh! Ssh! You'll be all right.
336
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,320
I can see aliens.
337
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,760
Can you? Erm, try not to talk.
338
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,840
But I can.
339
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:34,120
Thank you, dear.
Sorry about the muddle.
340
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,040
Oh, well, can't be helped.
341
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:38,600
Still, we've had a nice day out,
haven't we?
342
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,280
Anyway, see you next Monday.
343
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,280
Erm...
344
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:56,640
So, anyway, he took one look at it
and just fainted, like a big baby.
345
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,720
I mean... Pathetic.
346
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,880
Mmm, this smells good.
347
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,120
You can't beat a nice roast.
348
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,400
Ideally, we'd have
a few more vegetables to go with it.
349
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,760
Well, it's a start.
So, how was your day out?
350
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,720
Oh, it was...
351
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,760
Actually, it was fantastic.
352
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,360
In fact, Alice needs to go again
next Monday.
353
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:22,440
Does she? Why don't you take her,
have a nice day out in Leeds?
354
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,840
Just drop her off
and then do your own thing.
355
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,920
Why should I have all the fun?
Yeah, maybe I will.
356
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:33,320
Right. Here you go.
357
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,600
Mmm.
358
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,560
Actually, do you mind carving?
359
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,720
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