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1
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Time.
2
00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:47,625
Space.
3
00:00:49,375 --> 00:00:50,375
Reality.
4
00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:55,000
It's more than a linear path.
5
00:00:59,875 --> 00:01:04,542
It's a prism of endless possibility,
6
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:10,333
where a single choice
can branch out into infinite realities,
7
00:01:13,042 --> 00:01:16,042
creating alternate worlds
from the ones you know.
8
00:01:19,917 --> 00:01:21,167
I am the Watcher.
9
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,667
I am your guide
through these vast new realities.
10
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:31,917
Follow me and ponder the question...
11
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,708
"What if?"
12
00:01:50,917 --> 00:01:52,792
For the win. This is it.
13
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,208
And this is it, for the win.
14
00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:01,083
For the win. This is it.
15
00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:03,458
For the...
16
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:07,250
Yes! First try.
Jane, you owe me 50--
17
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,083
-Uh... Oh! Uh...
18
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:10,875
Uh, Jane, Jane, Jane!
19
00:02:10,958 --> 00:02:12,708
It's beeping! It's doing the beeping!
20
00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:16,375
I need to talk
to the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
21
00:02:16,458 --> 00:02:17,958
Because, if my data is correct,
22
00:02:18,042 --> 00:02:19,708
I believe an alien invasion
is imminent and...
23
00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:20,792
-Hello?
24
00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:25,042
Two years ago, the same anomaly
struck Star Alpha Icarus
25
00:02:25,125 --> 00:02:27,708
and the entire star dimmed
and then, poof, disintegrated.
26
00:02:28,958 --> 00:02:32,458
Yes, I know this is the Parks Department,
but isn't there something you can do?
27
00:02:32,542 --> 00:02:34,625
Talking about the end of the world,
my dude.
28
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:41,625
They're here.
29
00:02:41,708 --> 00:02:44,208
We're too late. The invasion has begun.
30
00:02:51,208 --> 00:02:52,208
-Holy moly!
-Oh!
31
00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:57,750
Citizens of Midgard...
32
00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:02,708
...your dull lives are about
to come to an end.
33
00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:05,083
-Prepare yourselves...
34
00:03:08,458 --> 00:03:11,208
for the party prince!
35
00:03:14,583 --> 00:03:17,583
-This is gonna be awesome. Whoo!
36
00:03:17,667 --> 00:03:19,708
More than battles won or lost,
37
00:03:19,792 --> 00:03:22,583
it's relationships
that truly define a hero.
38
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:24,958
The people who shape them, their stories.
39
00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:29,500
Thor and Loki, a brotherhood
so strong and pivotal,
40
00:03:29,583 --> 00:03:31,708
it would change the fate of a universe.
41
00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:36,083
Their childhood taught Thor many lessons.
42
00:03:37,292 --> 00:03:38,708
But in another universe,
43
00:03:38,792 --> 00:03:42,917
instead of raising the Jotunheim prince,
Loki, as his own son,
44
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,333
Odin returned him to his people.
45
00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:49,333
Without his trickster brother
to keep things, let's say, lively,
46
00:03:49,417 --> 00:03:52,458
Thor grew into a very different prince.
47
00:03:57,708 --> 00:04:00,083
Rest, my love.
48
00:04:00,167 --> 00:04:04,292
Allow the Odinsleep to restore
your body and soul.
49
00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:20,292
He's asleep. And, uh...
50
00:04:20,375 --> 00:04:23,458
I'm off to my sister's
to celebrate the solstice.
51
00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:27,042
Now, this is your first taste of kinghood,
my prince.
52
00:04:27,125 --> 00:04:28,417
I expect you to study,
53
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,000
read up on the Nine Realms
that you will one day rule.
54
00:04:31,083 --> 00:04:32,208
Of course, Mother.
55
00:04:32,292 --> 00:04:34,208
-No parties.
-Of course, Mother.
56
00:04:34,292 --> 00:04:36,500
Remember,
Heimdall will be watching.
57
00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:40,292
Wait, what? You can't be serious.
58
00:04:40,375 --> 00:04:41,458
Behave.
59
00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:49,708
Oh, Heimdall, there you are.
60
00:04:50,250 --> 00:04:53,667
Just off to study.
Books won't read themselves.
61
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,042
But your mother said--
62
00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:56,750
Don't be such a wet blanket, Hogun.
63
00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:59,792
Oh, guys, stop. My father has
ruled Asgard for centuries.
64
00:04:59,875 --> 00:05:02,667
And, look, the most interesting thing
that he's ever done is fall asleep.
65
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:06,750
He only cares about duty
and blah-blah-blah-blah responsibility.
66
00:05:06,833 --> 00:05:09,958
Well, I'm not gonna be like him, right?
The boring king? Uh-uh.
67
00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:16,667
But Heimdall sees all.
If we try anything, he'll call Frigga.
68
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,250
Oh, ye of little faith.
69
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:20,500
We are going to the most backward,
70
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:23,750
backwater planet that not even
Heimdall pays attention to.
71
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,250
Alert the realms.
72
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:29,500
-Party on Midgard!
73
00:05:29,583 --> 00:05:31,125
Yes!
74
00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:32,542
Huzzah!
75
00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:35,042
To Thor, the party prince!
76
00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:37,208
-Welcome! Welcome, friends.
-Party prince!
77
00:05:37,292 --> 00:05:38,625
Enjoy the night.
78
00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:39,708
Thunder hug.
79
00:05:41,042 --> 00:05:43,375
Here, have a drink.
It never runs out.
80
00:05:43,458 --> 00:05:47,292
You try to drink it all,
but you can't because it's magic! Huzzah!
81
00:05:47,375 --> 00:05:51,125
Huzzah!
Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor!
82
00:05:52,292 --> 00:05:54,958
Hollywood movies did not
prepare me for this.
83
00:05:55,042 --> 00:05:58,375
Shouldn't there be more lasers?
Probing? A flying cow?
84
00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,542
According to my data,
85
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:02,792
the first extraterrestrial
to arrive was...
86
00:06:02,875 --> 00:06:04,667
-Him?
87
00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:13,375
Huh. I expected him to look more like...
88
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:17,083
Like what? E.T.? And less like
a hottie McScotty, beach body Ken,
89
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:20,708
old-school Abercrombie catalog?
I could go on. Let me.
90
00:06:20,792 --> 00:06:21,917
I'm gonna go talk to him.
91
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,750
I'm gonna make first contact
with an alien.
92
00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:26,250
First? I think half the Strip
beat you to it.
93
00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:27,917
You can make first contact with...
94
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,333
I don't know, that guy.
He looks like a loser.
95
00:06:30,417 --> 00:06:32,542
Ha! Big talk coming from a brunette.
96
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,583
I'm going. How do I look?
97
00:06:35,667 --> 00:06:38,375
Completely unprepared
for whatever happens next.
98
00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:39,875
Oh, do me, do me.
99
00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:44,250
Yes, you do me.
You do me, and you too.
100
00:06:44,333 --> 00:06:47,292
Oh, you guys really get me. Yes?
101
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,333
Huh? Oh.
102
00:06:49,417 --> 00:06:52,083
Oh, there you are, all the way down there.
103
00:06:52,167 --> 00:06:54,583
So tiny, I almost stood on you.
How are you?
104
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:57,125
I'm Dr. Jane Foster of Earth.
105
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,375
Yeah, Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard.
106
00:06:59,458 --> 00:07:02,083
Uh, libations, crudité, baked goods?
107
00:07:02,167 --> 00:07:04,292
Mmm. Topaz, what do I always say?
108
00:07:04,375 --> 00:07:05,542
-I love cake.
-Mmm.
109
00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:07,667
Wait, wait, wait. You're Thor?
110
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,375
As in Thor, the Norse god of thunder?
111
00:07:10,458 --> 00:07:14,750
I don't know anything about horse gods,
but I do know how to bring the thunder.
112
00:07:14,833 --> 00:07:17,417
Uh... Okay, moving on.
113
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:20,417
Eighteen months ago,
Alpha Star Icarus died.
114
00:07:20,500 --> 00:07:22,125
The astronomaly that preceded it...
115
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:24,250
-...happened again tonight.
-Don't drink too much.
116
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:26,042
-Or too little.
-Hey, thunder boy.
117
00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:28,250
What I'm asking is, was that you?
118
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:32,000
Yes, Alpha Star.
Now, that was an excellent party.
119
00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:34,083
You know, we lost Fandral for three days.
120
00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:36,917
Found him in a barn,
curled up next to a baby goat.
121
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,875
It was classic. Isn't that right, Fandral?
122
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,875
I named him Gary.
123
00:07:40,958 --> 00:07:42,292
-Yeah, you did.
-Yeah, goats!
124
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:43,625
You killed a planet.
125
00:07:43,708 --> 00:07:46,417
Oh, what is that light box thing
you've got there?
126
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,292
Oh, it's magic. I love magic.
Did you build this all by yourself?
127
00:07:49,375 --> 00:07:52,875
Excuse me? I happen to be
an astrophysicist with multiple PhDs.
128
00:07:52,958 --> 00:07:56,375
You know, it would take a whole
team of Asgardians to create such a thing.
129
00:07:56,458 --> 00:07:59,625
You must be a genius.
You are a genius, aren't you?
130
00:07:59,708 --> 00:08:02,292
Well, I don't know
about genius, but...
131
00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:03,875
-And your eyes...
132
00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:07,333
Do all geniuses have such deep, dark eyes?
133
00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:10,625
It's like watching the birth of two stars
on the edge of the galaxy.
134
00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:12,500
Oh.
135
00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:17,042
Well, it's happy hour.
Want some half-price nachos?
136
00:08:17,125 --> 00:08:20,042
Okay, fine, Duck. But this is not a date.
137
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,750
Let's just see where this evolves.
138
00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:34,708
-Huh?
139
00:08:34,792 --> 00:08:35,875
Release the foam.
140
00:08:39,542 --> 00:08:41,250
-Blow on these.
141
00:08:41,333 --> 00:08:42,833
Momma needs a brand-new eye.
142
00:08:51,208 --> 00:08:54,000
Volstagg has crashed!
143
00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:56,167
I now pronounce you Darcy and the Duck.
144
00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:57,292
Uh-huh
145
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:21,542
-Ah.
146
00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:24,083
Ah, phone.
147
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:36,167
Ah, phone... Phone! Oh, shut up!
148
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:40,417
Dr. Jane Foster?
149
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,750
Coming. I'm coming.
150
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,625
Dr. Jane Foster!
151
00:09:44,708 --> 00:09:46,375
Hold on.
152
00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:48,833
Dr. Jane Foster,
this is S.H.I.E.L.D.
153
00:09:51,917 --> 00:09:53,292
If you do not answer, we will--
154
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,792
Yes?
155
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:55,875
We have her, ma'am.
156
00:09:55,958 --> 00:09:58,208
Maria Hill,
Acting Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
157
00:09:58,292 --> 00:09:59,667
-You need to come with us.
-Uh...
158
00:10:00,958 --> 00:10:04,042
Can this wait until after breakfast?
'Cause...
159
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:08,292
You were the first to warn us
about this extraterrestrial threat.
160
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,625
Now I hope you will be the key
to eliminating it.
161
00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:14,708
"Threat"? Would you call him
a threat, really?
162
00:10:14,792 --> 00:10:18,708
Do you wanna know why I am
the Acting Director, Dr. Foster?
163
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,042
Nope.
164
00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:24,750
Hey, Spicoli. This might be your party,
but this isn't your planet.
165
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,583
Before someone gets hurt, I need...
166
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:27,667
Ball cannons!
167
00:10:31,375 --> 00:10:32,417
Oh!
168
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,417
-Is he okay?
-He's still unconscious.
169
00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:37,208
We getting food?
170
00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:38,833
Do you have company, Dr. Foster?
171
00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:40,458
-Uh... A friend.
172
00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:43,208
Guys, guys, look.
There's a cute little rabbit in the sink.
173
00:10:43,292 --> 00:10:46,083
Oh, look at this little rabbit.
It's gorgeous.
174
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:49,000
He's... a zoologist. I'll call you, okay?
175
00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:53,375
I told you everything.
176
00:10:53,458 --> 00:10:55,583
I followed the anomaly's origin to Vegas.
177
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,083
And then what did you do?
178
00:10:57,167 --> 00:11:00,375
Um... Uh...
179
00:11:00,458 --> 00:11:02,833
Director, the party atmosphere
seems to be spreading.
180
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,000
Canada, Mongolia,
even Pennsylvania Dutch country.
181
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,167
Led by the main instigator,
Thor of Asgard,
182
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,750
who's now taken to the skies.
183
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:14,125
What? He left?
184
00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:17,083
Did he... Did he even leave a note at...
185
00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:21,042
I mean, did...
Did he say where he was going?
186
00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:22,625
-Smooth.
-Thanks.
187
00:11:22,708 --> 00:11:24,250
-Sarcasm.
-Paris.
188
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:28,250
One of his compatriots was,
and I quote, "jonesing for crêpes."
189
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:29,333
Ma'am...
190
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:32,375
the last resort has arrived.
191
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:35,500
Whoa, whoa.
"Last resort" sounds very final.
192
00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:38,375
This is Earth's first encounter
with alien life.
193
00:11:38,458 --> 00:11:41,333
How we respond today will set the tone
for diplomatic relations
194
00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:43,333
between our worlds for generations.
195
00:11:43,417 --> 00:11:47,667
"Diplomatic relations"?
Is that what the kids are calling it?
196
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:48,875
You're wrong, Doctor.
197
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,708
This isn't S.H.I.E.L.D.'s
first alien rodeo.
198
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:56,375
A beeper? My dad has one!
He's a podiatrist.
199
00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:58,750
Wait, are you guys calling a podiatrist?
200
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:02,625
It's done.
201
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:07,208
Is it happening? Did it happen?
What'd I miss?
202
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,792
All right, here we go. Nestle on in.
203
00:12:09,875 --> 00:12:12,708
-Everyone say "waffles." I love that word.
-Cheese.
204
00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:14,875
Waffles with maple syrup
and whipped cream on top.
205
00:12:14,958 --> 00:12:15,958
-Thor!
-Thor!
206
00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:17,417
He came! He's here!
207
00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:22,167
Oi! Where's that son of a witch,
Thor Odinson?
208
00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,125
What did you say?
209
00:12:25,208 --> 00:12:30,083
Fandral, tell me, is that butt-ugly
popsicle stick talking to me?
210
00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:41,500
-Bring it on in.
-I can't believe you came!
211
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:43,667
Loki, you are the absolute best!
212
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:45,750
You're my brother
from another mother, man. I mean that.
213
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:47,625
-I mean it.
-Brothers forever.
214
00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:49,542
Brothers forever!
215
00:12:49,625 --> 00:12:50,917
Forever!
216
00:12:52,292 --> 00:12:54,625
Wait, what's that boom? Did you boom?
217
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,583
No, I didn't boom.
Did you boom? You always boom.
218
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:59,042
-I never boom. I only boom in private.
219
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:02,542
Oh, oh, oh. Loki, look,
it's a shooting star. Make a wish, quick!
220
00:13:02,625 --> 00:13:05,292
Yes, yes, a shooting star.
Yes, okay. I wish... I wish...
221
00:13:06,792 --> 00:13:09,417
I wish, I wish, I wish... I wish...
222
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,833
-Uh... I've got it!
-What is it? Tell me.
223
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:16,625
I couldn't possibly tell you.
It'll ruin the magic.
224
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:17,708
Oh.
225
00:13:26,125 --> 00:13:29,042
Hey, Whitesnake. We need to chat.
226
00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:34,625
The name is Thor, with a "T"
and an "R" and an "O" and a "H."
227
00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:35,833
But not in that order.
228
00:13:35,917 --> 00:13:38,583
-Quite some party you're throwing.
-Isn't it the best?
229
00:13:38,667 --> 00:13:41,042
I mean, I'd hoped the Ice Bros would show,
230
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:43,083
but Loki himself? Prince Loki?
231
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:45,417
Are you kidding?
I wouldn't miss this for the world.
232
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,417
Listen, bud, clean up this mess
and leave this planet.
233
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:51,167
What? No, I like it here.
Everyone likes me.
234
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:53,500
We're having a great time...
till you showed up.
235
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,333
Party's over, pal.
236
00:13:55,417 --> 00:14:00,250
Mmm. Yeah, maybe here's a thought.
Uh, how about you just buzz off?
237
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:05,750
Oh!
238
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,333
I wasn't asking, hotshot.
239
00:14:14,917 --> 00:14:18,625
You know, there's a Midgardian word
for women like you.
240
00:14:20,375 --> 00:14:21,667
Party pooper.
241
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,375
There. I said it.
242
00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:26,958
Okay, this one's for Fury.
243
00:14:31,417 --> 00:14:32,667
Now, for the rest of you...
244
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:42,833
Have at you!
245
00:14:42,917 --> 00:14:45,125
Smooth move, bro. You just--
246
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,833
Hammerang. Get it?
247
00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:49,208
Look, pal, I'm gonna count to three
248
00:14:49,292 --> 00:14:51,042
and you're gonna put the hammer down.
249
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,125
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
250
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,417
Hey, what did I tell you? Knock it off.
251
00:15:21,167 --> 00:15:22,750
-Whoa.
252
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:25,917
Hey, quit it. These are...
253
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,875
I don't know what these are. No one does.
But... No! I said no! Stop.
254
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:33,125
Oh, but I just have to do a little boop.
255
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:45,708
Oh, no, your weird rocks
have all fallen over.
256
00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:47,208
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
257
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,208
Ow!
258
00:16:02,583 --> 00:16:03,583
Party foul.
259
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:09,500
Be right with you. Just one second.
260
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:13,292
Ah, there it is. Whoo! Let's do this.
261
00:16:52,708 --> 00:16:54,833
You know, I'm starting to...
262
00:16:54,917 --> 00:16:56,958
Ow! Not the hair!
263
00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:43,375
You know what you need?
264
00:17:43,458 --> 00:17:45,875
A stiff drink and two weeks in Hawaii?
265
00:17:45,958 --> 00:17:47,167
A time-out.
266
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:50,458
My mother punished me with time-outs
all the time, but I never learned a thing.
267
00:17:50,542 --> 00:17:54,750
But maybe they'll work on you
because you're a party pooper.
268
00:17:54,833 --> 00:17:57,292
Hey, look, everyone! A party pooper.
269
00:17:57,375 --> 00:18:00,375
Pooper! Pooper! Pooper!
270
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,125
Fury said you were the best.
271
00:18:07,208 --> 00:18:10,375
That your punch was equal
to ten nuclear bombs.
272
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:12,708
That your cat could devour whole armies.
273
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,833
You've got a cat? What's its name?
274
00:18:14,917 --> 00:18:15,958
Goose.
275
00:18:16,042 --> 00:18:18,083
Oh, Top Gun! You're Maverick!
276
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,500
Is your ego writing checks
that your skills can't cash?
277
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:21,667
-No.
-Yes.
278
00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:24,750
-Who are you?
-Darcy. Big fan.
279
00:18:24,833 --> 00:18:27,458
By the way, totally thought
you were gonna be a dude captain.
280
00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:29,458
But look at you, all not.
281
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,750
If I exert my full powers,
I blow a crater in this planet.
282
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:36,042
Taking down Kappa Kappa frat freak
won't be worth the fatalities.
283
00:18:36,125 --> 00:18:37,917
Ooh. What about South Dakota?
284
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,625
-Or North Dakota?
285
00:18:39,708 --> 00:18:42,417
-Uh... I need to get this.
286
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,500
So, uh, do you need an intern?
Cat wrangler?
287
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,750
Darcy, right now,
you're running at an eight,
288
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,667
and I need you to take it down to a four.
289
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:51,125
-Okay?
290
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:52,375
-Hello?
-Jane!
291
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,292
-Hey!
-When can I see you again?
292
00:18:54,375 --> 00:18:57,417
You're the nicest, prettiest
Midgardian woman I've ever met.
293
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,292
How many Earth women have you met?
294
00:18:59,375 --> 00:19:01,292
Uh, two. But the other one
hit me with a bridge
295
00:19:01,375 --> 00:19:03,000
and, well, that hurt more than my face.
296
00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:07,500
Thor, be honest with me.
297
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:11,292
At your last party on Alpha Star,
did you really destroy that planet?
298
00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:14,333
No, no, it was more of a meteor anyway,
not a planet.
299
00:19:14,417 --> 00:19:17,292
And it was burning apart,
so we just kinda helped it along and...
300
00:19:17,375 --> 00:19:18,500
So no one got hurt?
301
00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:19,875
-Of course not.
-Dr. Foster?
302
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:22,208
Even the baby goat, Gary, got home safely.
303
00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:23,708
-Eventually.
-Dr. Foster.
304
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:25,750
Uh, I gotta go. Love you. Oh.
305
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:27,458
I mean, bye.
306
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,167
What were we talking about?
307
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:32,042
Look, all I'm saying is,
308
00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:34,708
no one would notice
if you blew up a Dakota.
309
00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:36,208
Honestly, I can't tell them apart.
310
00:19:36,292 --> 00:19:37,833
South Dakota is on the bottom.
311
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:39,125
It's not a bad idea.
312
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:41,000
The Mojave Desert could withstand the hit.
313
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:43,708
Lure him to Siberia
and then go kaboom on his ass.
314
00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:47,958
You're not serious.
We're not gonna kaboom him.
315
00:19:48,042 --> 00:19:49,625
We're talking about the fate
of the planet.
316
00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:52,917
He's a lughead, sure, and far from
the brightest crayon in the box.
317
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:57,250
But this plan is way over the top,
and I refuse to let it happen.
318
00:19:57,333 --> 00:20:00,458
Thank you for your expertise, Dr. Foster,
319
00:20:00,542 --> 00:20:03,333
but your assistance is no longer required.
320
00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:09,542
Damn! There goes my internship
with the Galactic Queen Bee.
321
00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:14,583
Well, look who came waddling back.
Mrs. the Duck.
322
00:20:14,667 --> 00:20:17,042
-Not now, Howard!
-Hello, Thor?
323
00:20:17,125 --> 00:20:18,875
-Who's this?
-It's Jane. Can you hear me?
324
00:20:18,958 --> 00:20:22,250
Wait. Is this the girl?
Thor's new sweet lady? Hello.
325
00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:23,375
Is Thor there?
326
00:20:23,458 --> 00:20:27,250
Late-night Chinese is the best.
Oh, I love food.
327
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:30,208
Loki, get your blue butt over here.
You have to try these dumplings.
328
00:20:30,292 --> 00:20:33,458
Hey, Earth girl.
You haven't got a friend, have you?
329
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:35,333
You know, we could double date.
330
00:20:35,417 --> 00:20:38,083
Ugh! Will you just put him on the phone?
331
00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:40,500
Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist.
He's right here... Oh!
332
00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:46,167
Oh. Right.
333
00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:47,417
Hello? Loki?
334
00:20:48,042 --> 00:20:51,125
-Hey, hey. Watch the feathers.
335
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,667
-Too bad we can't call his mom.
-What?
336
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:54,875
That's what always happens.
337
00:20:54,958 --> 00:20:57,167
Teenagers throw a party,
it gets out of control...
338
00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:59,167
-Oh, you really are a genius.
-Whoa.
339
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:02,500
It's really starting to look that way,
isn't it? What'd I say?
340
00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:05,042
If there's a Thor and a Loki,
341
00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:09,542
then there must be an Odin
and a Frigga and a Heimdall!
342
00:21:09,625 --> 00:21:10,792
Uh, he-man-who-now?
343
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:20,292
You know, I've got a crown too,
and we both like fire, right?
344
00:21:20,375 --> 00:21:22,583
Come on. Let's see you turn up
the heat on this thing.
345
00:21:22,667 --> 00:21:25,708
Uh... Ooh, look at the time.
346
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:33,417
How low can I go?
347
00:21:40,083 --> 00:21:42,958
Everyone! Watch me slide down
that pointy thing.
348
00:21:46,125 --> 00:21:47,125
And away!
349
00:21:49,417 --> 00:21:51,250
Whoo!
350
00:22:02,542 --> 00:22:06,958
This one goes here. Green in the thing.
Okay, sweet. Good to go.
351
00:22:07,042 --> 00:22:08,125
Selvig, thank you.
352
00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:11,333
Re-aligning the satellites,
magnifying the signal.
353
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:15,292
Heimdall!
354
00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:20,250
-It's not working.
-Okay, okay. My turn. I got this.
355
00:22:20,333 --> 00:22:23,667
Would the owner of the navy blue Prius...
356
00:22:38,208 --> 00:22:41,708
Hi. So, uh, about Thor...
357
00:22:48,083 --> 00:22:51,042
Not cool. I actually felt that one.
358
00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:58,875
-We're in position.
-Arm the nukes.
359
00:22:58,958 --> 00:23:01,000
What? But I thought she was the nuke.
360
00:23:01,083 --> 00:23:03,125
Just in case she gets distracted by a cat.
361
00:23:05,167 --> 00:23:09,958
Uh... Hello, Mrs. Odinwife?
362
00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:12,417
Uh, is that Chardonnay?
363
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:15,292
A varietal, yes. Can I help you?
364
00:23:15,375 --> 00:23:18,042
Why do you insist on crushing my mellow?
365
00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:20,542
Huh? Loosen up. Have fun. Smile a little.
366
00:23:21,792 --> 00:23:23,208
Ready to fire on your command.
367
00:23:23,292 --> 00:23:25,167
Fire in five...
368
00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:28,583
I gave you a warning.
Hell, I gave you a warning punch.
369
00:23:28,667 --> 00:23:31,333
-Four.
-It's Thor. He's in trouble.
370
00:23:33,333 --> 00:23:35,083
-Three.
-He's on Earth.
371
00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:37,625
Two.
372
00:23:38,958 --> 00:23:40,875
-What about Captain Marvel?
-She'll be fine.
373
00:23:40,958 --> 00:23:42,458
One.
374
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:50,667
Thor, Crown Prince of Asgard,
only son of Odin, what are you doing?
375
00:23:50,750 --> 00:23:52,083
-Mother!
-Mother?
376
00:23:52,167 --> 00:23:53,208
Mother?
377
00:23:53,292 --> 00:23:54,625
What are you doing here?
378
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:57,625
You must be using a lot of dark magic
just to check in on me.
379
00:23:57,708 --> 00:24:01,167
Ugh, I had a visitor.
She's worried about you.
380
00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,625
Wha... Jane sold me out?
381
00:24:03,708 --> 00:24:05,542
She said you were on Midgard.
382
00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:07,333
Well, she is mistaken.
383
00:24:07,417 --> 00:24:10,250
I'm obviously in my room, studying.
384
00:24:13,792 --> 00:24:17,375
-Do not tell falsehoods to your mother.
385
00:24:17,458 --> 00:24:21,583
Oh, you mean Earth.
Sorry, I misunderstood.
386
00:24:21,667 --> 00:24:24,792
The locals call it that.
Yes, right. Sorry.
387
00:24:24,875 --> 00:24:26,417
Confused there for a moment.
388
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:30,917
Me and my study group came down here
for a cultural exchange.
389
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,375
"Cultural exchange."
390
00:24:33,458 --> 00:24:35,708
You know us. We're warriors for knowledge.
391
00:24:35,792 --> 00:24:39,417
Hmm. Really?
Then this I have to see for myself.
392
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:41,375
I'm cutting my trip short.
393
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:42,750
You're coming here?
394
00:24:42,833 --> 00:24:48,458
And, my sweet son, I expect to see
your full syllabus when I arrive.
395
00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:51,208
Now or never, Hill.
396
00:24:51,833 --> 00:24:53,458
Stand down. We're done here.
397
00:24:53,542 --> 00:24:56,167
We never get to fire the nukes.
398
00:24:56,250 --> 00:24:57,958
I almost feel bad for you, Blondie.
399
00:24:58,042 --> 00:25:00,958
Please, you must help me.
My mother is coming.
400
00:25:01,042 --> 00:25:04,708
My suggestion? Start in the corners,
clean your way outward.
401
00:25:07,083 --> 00:25:08,167
Corners, corners...
402
00:25:08,250 --> 00:25:10,292
But it's a sphere.
403
00:25:11,250 --> 00:25:15,875
Ugh. Excuse me, ladies. I'm sorry,
but I must leave early. Again.
404
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:19,958
Loki, my brother.
I require your assistance.
405
00:25:20,042 --> 00:25:22,292
Ah, one step ahead of you, Tiny Thunder.
406
00:25:22,375 --> 00:25:25,708
My bro's trying this thing in St. Louis.
Saint... Is it "Louie"?
407
00:25:25,792 --> 00:25:27,375
Anyway, we're about to make
408
00:25:27,458 --> 00:25:29,917
-this universe's greatest slingshot.
409
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,042
Try to enjoy
the rest of your time here.
410
00:25:32,125 --> 00:25:34,708
See you in another thousand years.
Heimdall.
411
00:25:36,250 --> 00:25:40,208
No more slingshots. No more destruction.
We need to clean this mess up and go home.
412
00:25:42,167 --> 00:25:43,667
Ugh! Now!
413
00:25:44,833 --> 00:25:47,958
Ha!
Nice one. Almost fell for it.
414
00:25:48,042 --> 00:25:50,875
I'm not joking. My mother is coming.
415
00:25:57,125 --> 00:25:58,125
Hmm.
416
00:25:58,208 --> 00:25:59,708
But she's not my mother.
417
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:02,292
You know, I'm your brother
from another mother, remember?
418
00:26:02,375 --> 00:26:04,833
Come on, Ice Bros, let's go.
419
00:26:04,917 --> 00:26:06,750
Wait. You can't leave. Look at this place.
420
00:26:06,833 --> 00:26:09,333
We have a duty to this planet.
You need to clean it up.
421
00:26:09,417 --> 00:26:12,125
"Duty, clean"? Ugh, you sound like Odin.
422
00:26:12,208 --> 00:26:13,292
What?
423
00:26:13,375 --> 00:26:14,708
Ice Men, let's bounce.
424
00:26:18,375 --> 00:26:20,125
All right, listen, party's over.
425
00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:23,208
You don't have to go home,
but you can't stay.
426
00:26:23,292 --> 00:26:25,167
Wait, where you going? Come back.
427
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:26,375
No, no, no, no, no.
428
00:26:26,458 --> 00:26:29,458
You do have to stay here,
and we need to clean up.
429
00:26:29,542 --> 00:26:31,750
Look who's pooping the party now.
430
00:26:31,833 --> 00:26:34,375
It is you! You are pooping the party.
431
00:26:34,458 --> 00:26:35,833
-Where you going? Come back!
432
00:26:35,917 --> 00:26:38,208
Let's go, Topaz.
We shall ride like the wind.
433
00:26:38,292 --> 00:26:39,583
-Please! Wait.
-Loser.
434
00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:41,292
And we're keeping the scoot-scoots.
435
00:26:41,375 --> 00:26:44,625
Guys, please. Help, I...
You. How about you?
436
00:26:44,708 --> 00:26:47,958
Uh... I think I hear my dad calling.
Good luck.
437
00:26:53,292 --> 00:26:57,542
People. Beings.
Please, everyone, you must stay and help.
438
00:27:00,417 --> 00:27:02,958
Allfather, give me strength.
439
00:27:08,375 --> 00:27:10,333
You will listen to me.
440
00:27:12,292 --> 00:27:14,125
My mother is coming.
441
00:27:14,208 --> 00:27:18,000
-Frigga?
-And she is not happy.
442
00:27:18,083 --> 00:27:20,208
Like, at all.
443
00:27:20,292 --> 00:27:21,583
She's really mad.
444
00:27:38,125 --> 00:27:39,208
Yeah, baby.
445
00:28:02,167 --> 00:28:03,167
Thor.
446
00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:09,083
Oh, hello, Mother. Good to see you.
Welcome to our study group.
447
00:28:09,167 --> 00:28:11,000
Uh...
448
00:28:11,083 --> 00:28:13,000
Everyone say hello to Mother.
449
00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:14,708
Hello, Mother Frigga.
450
00:28:14,792 --> 00:28:17,500
And to end our studies,
what do we always say, class?
451
00:28:17,583 --> 00:28:19,500
Learning is magic.
452
00:28:20,792 --> 00:28:24,375
See? I told you I was on an educational
and cultural exchange.
453
00:28:24,458 --> 00:28:27,542
Did you know that Midgard
is the birthplace of the Snuggie?
454
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:32,083
Mother, you doubt?
455
00:28:34,125 --> 00:28:36,375
But look at all this learning, huh?
456
00:28:43,625 --> 00:28:46,875
Thor, here's the information
you requested on human civilizations.
457
00:28:46,958 --> 00:28:50,875
And I loaded a few documentaries,
PBS specials, NPR podcasts.
458
00:28:50,958 --> 00:28:52,625
I'll call you next week to discuss it.
459
00:28:52,708 --> 00:28:58,292
So tiny yet contains so, so much.
Thank you.
460
00:28:58,375 --> 00:29:00,500
You must be Frigga. I'm Captain Marvel.
461
00:29:00,583 --> 00:29:05,292
I know who you are.
Thank you for helping educate my son.
462
00:29:05,375 --> 00:29:07,000
-Let's go, darling.
-Wait.
463
00:29:07,083 --> 00:29:09,167
Almost forgot.
464
00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:14,042
Uh...
465
00:29:14,125 --> 00:29:15,458
Mother, I can explain.
466
00:29:25,125 --> 00:29:26,792
-Hi.
-Thanks.
467
00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:28,500
You called my mother on me.
468
00:29:28,583 --> 00:29:30,167
That wasn't a cool thing to do,
469
00:29:30,250 --> 00:29:33,083
but it was the right thing. So, thank you.
470
00:29:34,667 --> 00:29:35,917
You're welcome.
471
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,417
I'll call you? Cools?
472
00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:40,458
No, it is not "cools."
473
00:29:40,542 --> 00:29:41,750
No?
474
00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:44,792
But I thought we had something.
I really like you, Jane.
475
00:29:44,875 --> 00:29:47,958
And not just because you're a genius.
You're also very attractive and...
476
00:29:48,542 --> 00:29:50,208
Well, then, ask me out on a date.
477
00:29:50,292 --> 00:29:51,708
Oh.
478
00:29:51,792 --> 00:29:55,625
Jane Foster, it would be my honor
to take you on a date.
479
00:29:55,708 --> 00:30:00,792
Before you answer, let me say that
I know a whole planet full of unicorns.
480
00:30:00,875 --> 00:30:02,542
Even the waiters are unicorns...
481
00:30:02,625 --> 00:30:05,417
-It's wonderful.
-Sounds delightful. Pick me up at00?
482
00:30:16,333 --> 00:30:19,750
A world restored,
love blossoming.
483
00:30:19,833 --> 00:30:24,000
As children,
both human and Asgardian, say,
484
00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:27,917
together, they lived happily ever after.
485
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,000
Wait, what?
486
00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:31,083
Huh?
487
00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:39,708
Oh, dear.
Perhaps I spoke too soon.
36628
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