Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

[SIRENS WAILING]

BATMAN: Greetings, Bat-fans.

This is Batman.

And Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The New Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our never-ending battle

of good versus evil.

ROBIN: Ride with us as we chase

the greatest array of villains the world has ever seen.

Proving that crime does not pay.

BATMAN: Get set for thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me: Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too: Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: In the super New Adventures of--

BATMAN: Batman.

[♪♪♪]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

Bruce, are you sure you know where you're going?

Relax, Barbara. Just leave it to me

Why all the mystery? Where are we going anyway?

There. There's the house.

BRUCE: Let's go.

BARBARA: For heaven's sake, Bruce.

Can't you tell me what this is all about?

I--

[CAT MEOWING]

What was that?

It wasn't a mouse.

[LAUGHS]

[CREAKS]

[DOOR OPENS]

Ah. Mr. Wayne...

[CAT MEOWS]

[WOMAN GIGGLING, MEOWING]

[♪♪♪]

Barbara, I'd like you

to meet Professor Norquist.

Prepare yourselves for an amazing experience.

Before you lies

the greatest boon to ecology:

The Norquist Inert Matter Converter.

Wow, professor, how does it work?

Watch.

The trash, or any inert matter,

is fed into the disintegrator...

then it is fed into the converter.

And...presto!

BARBARA: Why...it looks like silk.

It is silk.

[LAUGHING]

The finest quality.

Or, if you prefer...

The finest woolen tweed.

A-mazing.

Watch.

It's fur.

Let me see that.

Professor, you've done it.

Do you realize what this means?

It will revolutionize

the entire garment industry.

And think of the good it'll do for our ecology.

[ALL SHOUTING]

Ah. Here it is. The emergency light.

Ah! Ah!

My converter.

It's gone.

[GASPS]

Quick, after her.

It was cut from the other side.

[GIGGLING]

[MEOWING]

Now...Catwoman has time

for a quick change.

We'll have to batter this door down.

ALL: Batgirl?

Yes. Batgirl is through fighting crime.

This converter shall make me rich.

Do you hear?

[LAUGHS]

Quick, the front door.

Stop her. Stop her!

Hey, Bruce. Look.

"Batgirl Steals Invention."

"Batgirl Offers Deal."

Agh. Pay blackmail to Batgirl.

Never!

But, Dad. It wasn't Batgirl.

But how could you say that?

You saw her with your own eyes.

Because Batgirl would never do a thing like that.

Right, Dick. No question about it.

It had to be an imposter.

Well, it's all too baffling to me.

There's only one person in the world

who could figure out a mess like this.

Batman.

[BEEPING]

Hello. Let me talk to Batman, please.

Batman speaking.

Batman. You sound, uh, strange.

Have you got a cold?

Oh, no. I-I'm just not quite myself today.

[GIGGLES]

What can I do for you?

I wonder if that's who we think it is.

Oh, no. Bat-Mite.

Batman, it's this terrible Batgirl problem.

It seems she's gone batty

and stolen Professor Norquist's invention.

Oh, don't give it another thought.

I'm on my way.

Let's see.

Ah, there's the starter.

Commissioner, I, um, uh--

I-I just remembered an important engagement.

Come on, Dick.

Oh, Dad.

I have an important case to clear up.

BATGIRL [THINKING]: As Batgirl, of course.

[♪♪♪]

CATWOMAN: That's it, my little kittens.

Get set for the miracle.

[BOTH GASP]

You're seeing right.

It's the latest Paris design made from trash.

The clothing world is mine.

I'll be rich. Rich!

[LAUGHING, MEOWING]

Quick, Dick. To the Batcave!

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Permit me.

Holy Batnet, Batman. That was a close one.

It's a good thing I remembered my Batrocket Boots.

Quick thinking, chum.

Uh...I guess I...

did it again, huh, Batman?

Bat-Mite...

I know you're only trying to help.

And the best way you can help us--

Is to not do anything.

Now we've got to see who was impersonating Batgirl.

Holy hoaxes, Batman! You're right.

To the Batcomputers.

Okay. Here comes the readout.

Ah. The answer to our question.

"To be is not to be. That is the answer."

Of course.

I don't see, Batman.

Of course you see. Think, Robin.

What would happen if you took the B out of Batgirl.

"C" what I mean?

See? See.

Of course.

The letter C.

Cat. Catwoman.

Catwoman. She was impersonating Batgirl

to throw us off the trail.

Quick. To the Batmobile.

[BEEPING]

Batman here.

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

Catwoman.

I know. You've figured out by now

that I'm behind this.

You're right, you felonious feline.

And it's just a matter of time before the Boy Wonder and I

catch up with you.

You'd better hurry. Even as we speak,

Batgirl is about to fall into a Cat-trap.

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

Catwoman.

If you do any harm to Batgirl, you'll pay for it.

I won't have to do anything.

[LAUGHING, MEOWING]

I used a mysterious phone call to lure her into a trap.

The police will take care of her for me.

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

Activate the Batoscope.

[BEEPING]

There. That's Batgirl's signal now.

What part of the city is that?

According to this readout, it's coordinate 3507 W.

If my memory serves me right,

that's an abandoned warehouse on the waterfront.

Quick, Robin, To the Batcopter.

[♪♪♪]

We should be nearing it now, Robin.

Hello...

Commissioner Gordon?

Yes. What is it?

If you want to catch Batgirl with the goods...

Send a few of your Keystone Kops

to Schrum's abandoned warehouse.

Wait a minute. Who is this?

Now, to use my Cat-netic force field

to capture the Batcopter.

There's Schrum's abandoned warehouse.

Holy magnetic missiles, Batman. Look.

Hang on, Robin.

[SIRENS WAILING]

Faster, officer. Every second counts.

I've gotta be careful.

That mysterious call I got

could be the sort of thing Catwoman might try.

If I don't clear my name,

the police will be after me.

Ah!

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

No use, Batgirl.

You can't avoid capture.

My, heh,

what big electric eyes you have.

You missed me by a whisker.

A cat's whisker, that is.

Holy high altitude, Batman.

It's still on our tail.

Activate the Multiple Image Deflection Ray.

Right.

Oh. Try to outsmart Catwoman, will you?

Hang five.

That must be the real one.

Agh!

They're all images.

My Cat-missile is running out of of fuel.

I'll get him this time.

Agh!

Wow. That was close, Batman.

Almost too close.

Right, Robin. But now to the warehouse.

I only hope we're not too late to help Batgirl.

[CLANGING]

[CRASH]

Drop in again sometime.

[SIGHS] Well, back to work.

[♪♪♪]

Incredible.

This looks exactly like the same sort of thing

the professor made with his machine.

CATWOMAN [OVER SPEAKER]: Yes, Batgirl.

Catwoman.

So you're the one who stole the converter.

Yes, Batgirl.

And you have fallen into my trap.

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

Even now, the police are coming to catch you

with all the evidence.

You will go to jail, and I will get rich.

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

So, Batgirl.

I see you've been busy with the professor's invention.

But I'm innocent.

But--

But it's not what it appears to be.

Come quietly, Batgirl.

Not just yet.

Stop! Stop her!

I've got to clear myself.

Halt.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

OFFICER: There she is.

Don't worry, Batgirl. I'll catch you.

Bat-Mite.

Oh, no. Not now.

G-g-gee. Y-you're pretty.

Bat-Mite, I could just--

But-- But all I wanted to do was--

Was help.

Oh-oh-oh-ooh!

Don't make waves...

[BAT-MITE YELLING]

Batman!

Batman. How did you know about this?

Batman always knows.

Robin, lower the Batswing.

Whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh.

Commissioner.

I'm taking Batgirl to police headquarters.

Good work, Batman.

But I've got to clear myself, Batman.

I can't go to police headquarters.

You've got to, Batgirl.

Even though you've been wronged by Catwoman,

you must abide by the law.

Of course, uh...

we'll make a little detour on the way.

You mean, to-- Right.

To Catwoman's hideout.

BATMAN: Now, what would Catwoman's next move be?

BATGIRL: Well...

she'll probably try to sell as many of her furs

and garments as quickly as she can.

That means she needs someplace big enough to display it all.

Hey, Batman. Look.

BATGIRL: "Mammoth fur and fashion sale..."

"Fantastic bargains at the convention center."

But the fashion show isn't due till next month.

Unless...

Uh-oh. You mean, unless Catwoman is behind this.

Right. Hang on.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

MAN: Hey. Come on, don't push, will you, pal?

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

And this is just the beginning.

[LAUGHS]

Speed up the machines.

[MEOWS]

There she is.

Quick. Activate the rocket.

Holy rockets, Bat-Mite.

Look at that.

The rudder.

BATMAN [GRUNTING]: I read you.

[MEOWS]

And now...

let's steer a course for police headquarters.

Something's wrong with this wheel.

I can't control it.

Execute your Batchute, Batgirl.

Roger.

I wonder what's keeping Batman.

[PHONE RINGS]

Commissioner, look.

[♪♪♪]

So, commissioner, there's you real crook.

GORDON: Catwoman.

Ha! So she tried to frame you

for stealing the invention, eh, Batgirl?

That's right, commissioner.

And as you see, she has it right with her.

Or what's left of it.

That machine has been nothing but trouble.

I'm glad it's destroyed.

No, professor.

It wasn't the machine that did wrong.

It was Catwoman.

Well, I guess we owe you an apology, Batgirl.

But it looked so bad for you.

Not nearly as bad as it's going to be for Catwoman.

She's not the first to try to get rich

by stealing someone else's accomplishments.

Well, she'll have plenty of time to think things over.

In that case, I'll never get into trouble.

I never think anything over.

[ALL LAUGHING]

BATCOMPUTER: Bat Message.

Wow, Batman.

That was really a caper.

If Catwoman hadn't let her greed run away with her,

she would have given us an even harder time.

Sooner or later, they make the big mistake.

Okay. So I made the big mistake this time.

But it's going to be a whole new bag from now on.

Really?

You'll see. [GIGGLES]

You just wait until you see how

I'll help you two out next week.

[♪♪♪]