Original subtitles

♪ Oh, my darling

♪ Oh, my darling

♪ Oh, my darling Clementine

♪ You were lost and gone forever ♪

♪ Dreadful sorrow, Clementine

♪ Just a baby and a daddy

♪ Little mommy so entwined

♪ Is she a whore

♪ Maybe more

♪ Family sorrow...

♪ Clementine

How old are you?

What?

Tell me again how old you are.

Twenty-one.

You look young for your age.

People aren't always as they seem, Mrs. Michaels.

I like his, uh, astronaut costume.

It was, uh, the only way

we could get him to wear his protective gear

outside the house.

Not that we take him out very often.

And you're a student?

Yes, um, but I am taking the semester off

to focus on my thesis.

And I'm assuming your work at the university

is why you answered our ad.

Yes, ma'am. I'm working on children

with severe allergies.

Um, you know,

some new studies

say that allergies are more mental than physical.

Some researchers have been trying something more radical.

- Lysergic acid... - Do you own a car?

No.

Um, but I can take the bus or walk.

I'm not far.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Oh, um...

No.

Wow.

I like this.

It's really good.

Did you see?

Yeah.

And what about your family?

Do you live with them while you're at school?

I... don't have a family actually.

Um, but I think that's what makes me better.

Because I can be Johnny's.

And I won't be distracted.

His previous sitter was like you.

But unlike you, she had much more babysitting experience.

Well, um...

I just know I'm great with kids.

Kids and animals.

Do you like animals, Johnny?

He doesn't speak.

I guess...

I guess he likes you.

Good, because I like him too.

Are you wearing jewelry?

- No. - He's allergic to nickel.

Who's she?

He's also allergic to all animals,

sugar, gluten, seeds of any kind,

strawberries, smoke, artificial fabrics,

so please only organic stuffed animals.

There's a whole list in my office.

I'll have to show you his prescription routine.

You'll want to write it all down.

He takes a nap every afternoon.

He's in bed, typically, seven till seven.

And, of course, there's quiet playtime

for when he's overstimulated.

His new medication knocks him out.

It's better than the stuff they put him on

when we all thought it was autism.

If he fights you when it's time for nap,

just tell him he doesn't actually have to sleep.

Just treat it like a meditation.

Could you close the door?

Along with babysitting,

you're expected to do light housework.

That includes dishes, cleaning out the fridge,

cleaning off the countertops,

keeping Johnny's playroom clean and put away.

And, of course, making the beds.

Oh, sorry! Um...

Sorry, I'm just nervous.

Sorry.

I'm getting busy with my book release.

- Which is why we need... - Me.

The Pleasure of Pain.

A Guide to Love, Sex, and Self-discovery.

Cool.

If you were looking for a husband

or a sense of self,

but I think you're still too young

to appreciate something like this.

Yes, ma'am.

I need you to understand

that Johnny's allergies are severe.

That means that if you don't follow my explicit instructions,

he could die.

And under no circumstances

are you to let Johnny leave the property.

Not with the full weight of what I just said.

Do you understand the level of responsibility

you would be taking on?

I need to hear you say it.

I understand.

Excuse me.

If you're here to rob me,

I keep all my valuables buried in the backyard.

Chocolate in the fridge if you want one.

Uh, no. Hi. I'm Millicent.

I know who you are.

So, my wife hired you.

Cat got your tongue?

Sorry, uh...

You just frightened me.

Mmm. Frightened of me? There's no hope for you.

Chocolate?

So, you do a lot of babysitting?

Sometimes.

So, you're, uh...

a carpenter?

- Mm-hmm. - What are you building?

Something that will never get finished.

You're not dressed.

Hmm. You are.

- Not now. - Shit.

Stop.

Please go change. We're gonna miss our reservation.

Please do the dishes.

And I'll have you take my dry cleaning,

so you can drop it in the morning.

Crazy bitch.

All this time you've been coming here,

I've been so proud of you and your progress

these last couple of months.

Your microdose treatment with delysergic acid

has proven beneficial to your mental health.

So, we can begin lowering your dose.

What?

A larger dose would lead to hallucinations.

No, that won't happen.

You don't have to pander to me.

I'm just here to listen

and help you.

I... I know.

I'm not trying to be difficult.

What about your other problem?

What other problems?

You don't have to lie to me in here.

I'm not lying.

I don't have any problems.

You've been in the foster care system for most of your life.

You haven't quite found the right fit yet.

They were all very nice.

But... the fathers were all the same.

Maybe it's my fault.

No.

You are not in control

of how anyone responds to you.

The only thing that you can control,

is how you respond to a situation.

What do you want?

Get good grades and go to college...

Tell me what you want. Don't tell me

what you think I want for you.

Well, I...

see these mothers

in the park,

pushing their strollers,

talking to each other,

and they don't even, not even once,

look at their kids.

Mom! Mom!

Mom!

Did your mom lose you?

How does that make you feel?

Disappointed.

Mom! Mom.

Any of you lose one?

Weren't you worried?

You weren't lost. Now, go play.

Mommy's talking.

Lost.

Lost in the park.

They have this lucky life

and they can't even see it.

I'm so sorry, but I'm confused.

- Do you want to be them? - No.

I want to be better than them.

Come on with me. Let's get you out of here.

What is she doing with her? Look.

Hey!

Where are you going... Hey!

What are you doing?

No!

You stay here.

- Dr. Welsh? - Hmm?

What if I...

think about violent things?

Like doing them?

Women aren't violent,

and you just said you want to be a mother.

This is all good.

It means that you're empathetic.

You know what that means, "empathetic"?

No.

Your natural disposition is to feel

how others feel and help them.

He doesn't write anything for a month,

and some stranger gets a "hi"?

Hey, just be happy he's able to communicate with her.

I take it she's very, um...

innocent?

She's a virgin, if that's what you're asking.

I mean, she freaked out when I used the word "boyfriend".

It's not what I'm asking.

That's inappropriate.

I mean, she's not like Samantha.

Is that your last beer

or the last beer?

Both.

Wow.

Choke me.

- Right now? - Choke me.

I... can't anymore.

Why?

I just... I don't want to.

I mean, you're a mother.

Just... just try.

Yes...

It's okay. I got the EpiPen.

Okay. Okay.

Help us!

Hey, hey, bud. It's okay. It's okay.

What? I didn't give it to him. He must've got into my stash.

I was there with him every time. Jacob, you need to be

- more goddamned careful. - It's not a competition.

- Of course, it's not. - You told me you loved him

- more than me. - Fuck you.

That quack doctor is just using him to experiment on

and it's costing us our safety.

Come on. Be on my side with this.

What side? What side?

You know he doesn't have any allergies.

You just saw it!

Stupid fucking excuses you've convinced yourself of

so you don't have to face the goddamned truth!

What truth?

What truth?

That our son...

is sick.

And caring for him means sending him somewhere

they can actually do that.

I found a place.

Okay?

It's just 20 minutes away. I called them

and they seem like they'd be a really good fit.

You mean abandon him.

To strangers.

You know.

You know firsthand

what he's capable of.

We don't abandon family.

♪ Chicken Little's sky is falling ♪

♪ Humpty Dumpty's bass is balling ♪

♪ Mother Goose is on the loose ♪

♪ She's in a dream

♪ Goldilocks has lost her mirror ♪

♪ Red Riding Hood is shifting gears ♪

♪ Mother Goose is on the loose ♪

♪ She's very clean

♪ Alice in Wonderland

♪ Walking on the golden side

♪ Clouds of white She's so very right ♪

♪ She's queen

♪ Simple Simon's flying through ♪

♪ Jack and Jill are paying doctor bills ♪

♪ Mother Goose is...

Emily!

Millie?

Emily, breakfast!

Aren't you going to have any?

Yes.

How's school?

Mmm. Good.

I still haven't seen your report card.

Do you like the new job?

The dad is nice, I guess.

Haven't I always taken good care of you?

It's not about that.

You promised we would go away together after.

This boy... needs me.

I need you.

I want you here at home with me.

You told me that every one of them hurt you.

That none of them treated you as well as I do.

And that's why I agreed to take you in.

Are you saying...

that I don't make you happy anymore?

I'm happy.

Don't make fun.

I'm... I'm not making fun.

Honest, I'm not.

You told me I'm special.

What else do you want me to do for you?!

Tell me you're mine.

No one belongs to anyone.

Not really.

Don't get bored of me.

You said if you got bored, you'd leave.

You need a haircut.

Look.

Hey.

- Hey, bud. - Look, it's an apple bud.

It's what an apple looks like before it finds the sunshine.

He's smart.

You don't have to talk down to him.

Oh, I... I wasn't.

I didn't mean to.

Just treat him like any other kid.

In fact, why don't you take him on a walk around the property?

Rebecca doesn't really let him out much.

This looks like a meteorite

from space.

What is it?

Do your parents know about this?

What about your allergies?

Here. Hang on.

Here.

We'll take it home and we'll make it into a keychain.

That way, you can keep it forever.

Okay? Do you want to try and learn

how to?

Do you have another one?

You always want to cut away from yourself.

Never towards you.

♪ Now you are near

♪ But soon you'll be far

♪ You must go to fight the cruel war ♪

♪ But even though

♪ We are not together

♪ I will love you my dear forever ♪

♪ I will love you dear forever ♪

Good morning, Lucky.

I need to know that you understand.

I understand.

♪ Ruby lips above the water

♪ Blowing bubbles soft and fine ♪

♪ But alas I was no swimmer

♪ So I lost my...

Not on the dress!

Stick 'em up, Officer Johnny!

You'd better go change those clothes.

Hey, I'm sorry. I was only just able to pull away.

You're not gonna make it.

They kept me late at designing

and they made me miss my flight. I'm really sorry.

If nobody buys this book,

we can't afford Johnny's birthday presents

- or medical expenses. - That's not the point.

Just... Okay, then have the sitter stay.

You said you couldn't take care of Johnny yourself.

That's what we have her for.

I'll be on the next flight home.

Here.

For your collection.

It's supposed to bring you good luck.

[Millicent hums "Oh My Darling Clementine"

Hopefully, this pays for this job.

Didn't even eat his cake.

Really? So strange.

Not that it was much of one without any real sugar.

Well, the fire thing is new.

We're not doing something wrong, are we?

Well, you should've been here.

Wow. So pouty.

How about I make it up to you?

You should want to make it up to him, not me.

Okay.

But, um...

how?

Well... first,

I'd get down on my knees,

and open my mouth.

Then...

- you could unzip your pants. - Mm-hmm.

- Uh-huh. - But slowly,

because you want me to keep begging for it.

- And... - Mm-hmm.

You can take the back of my head

and yank my mouth open.

So I can wrap it around your co...

You're good with him.

Well, I think your son is really special.

I'm glad you're here.

Millie.

Before you came,

it was just the three of us.

You know...

You know that dream

when you're trying to breathe but you can't?

And then, every time you try to suck in air,

you open your mouth,

and nothing comes.

And then, in your dream,

you die trying.

You like air?

Oh, Johnny. You wet yourself.

It's okay. Come on. Let's... let's go get you changed.

I wish we weren't afraid of you.

Happy birthday.

Aww, cute costume!

Sometimes, I don't feel like smiling either.

Oh, it's not that.

He responds to the world

not in the same way you would.

I see.

Well, seems like he really loves his mom.

- That's not the point. - Then tell me what it is.

- I'm so mad right now. - Give me a break.

It's okay. It's okay.

Hey, it's okay.

Okay, um, look at me, Johnny.

Look at me. Cover your ears.

Okay?

Then it's not as loud, right?

Let's breathe, okay? In, together.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

When I'm with you,

nothing bad can happen.

Okay?

Okay.

Come on, let's go.

Come on.

When I was your age...

Here.

I used to pretend that I was an alien.

Ready?

And I really, really wanted it to be true.

It was...

It was just easier going from home to home.

I pretended that was the truth.

Goose!

Instead of what it actually was.

So, I decided

it was my purpose on Earth

to study humans.

To better understand them, but...

I wasn't allowed to be a part of them.

That was my mission.

And...

And I was good with that.

That's...

I didn't feel like anyone has the same feelings as me anyways.

Or, at least, they didn't admit it.

Most people, Johnny,

they're liars.

Not you.

It's like...

It's like I can see all of you at once.

And nothing's hidden.

Don't be scared.

I'm not scared.

See?

It's all okay.

You know, I'd just about die for you.

Here we go.

I know he needs a haircut.

Oh, no. I...

He just won't sit still.

I mean, most kids don't like haircuts.

Do most kids start screaming whenever the scissors come out?

Um, maybe we could do it together.

I used to cut my dad's hair, like, all the time.

Thought you said you didn't have a family.

I don't, um...

I just meant I used to cut it before.

Shall I try?

Sure.

Just, um...

Just encourage him to be himself.

This, um, this truck seems cool.

I love the shape of it.

That's amazing.

He's never let us do this.

We usually have to wait until he's asleep.

Zoom, zoom.

I like it.

So, uh, you can remember.

Thanks.

Can you just clean this up?

I gotta go lay down.

All he thinks is I keep helping him.

Do you think that I'll be able to have a family one day?

Marybeth,

you know how I feel about you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Do you... do you have a tissue?

Of course, sweet child.

It's okay. It's okay to cry.

Oh. Oh! Oh.

Okay. It's okay.

It's alright. It's okay.

Don't...

Oh, I'm sorry!

- It's... it's okay, um... - I'm so sorry!

Uh, just wait right there.

I'm sorry, Dr. Welsh.

It's fine.

Well... before we wrap up for today,

just know that you can manifest the life that you want,

you just have to be dedicated to it.

You have to be a good girl, Marybeth.

I can do that.

We'll be back by nine.

The number for the restaurant's on the fridge.

Ten.

- Alright, come on. - Stop.

Bye, kiddo.

I have a new, special medicine for you.

A drop for every pill.

This has helped me see the truth.

And now, you can too.

It'll be our secret, okay, Johnny?

Like your pet, your rabbit?

Sharing a secret, a big, important one,

just means we love each other

even more.

Come on. There's still time.

Let's play house.

Look, Johnny! Look at the carolers!

Is that blood?

No.

It's a new one, isn't it?

It is. Goddamn it, Rebecca!

It doesn't have anything to do with you.

Yeah, well, it does. I just don't understand it.

I don't get it. We... we planned this whole dinner,

we got all fancy, you look beautiful...

Let's go home.

- Why? Why? - Just go home.

You're different.

I'm not.

You're different to me.

- I'm not. - You know, maybe you're right.

- We should just go home. - I'm not different.

This is what we always do.

- Stop! - Oh!

Oh!

Oh, no! Oh! It's okay!

I didn't see him! I didn't see him!

Get the fuck away!

You okay? Are you throwing up?

Why were you in the street?

- What did you do? - I gave him candy.

I'm so sorry.

- Oh! - Come here.

Get away!

Johnny.

Mommy!

He's never spoken his entire life.

Mommy.

Mommy.

Mommy. Mommy.

- Mommy, Mommy, mommy. - I got you.

You're okay. You're okay.

- You're okay. - Mommy.

You're okay now. It's all gonna be okay.

- Go on. Give him to me! - Johnny!

Get the fuck away from my family!

Mommy!

It's okay, Johnny. Just go home.

- Mommy! - You're okay.

- You're alright. Come on. - Mommy!

Speak.

Speak.

Speak.

Who's your mommy, Johnny? Who's your mommy?

Who is your mother?!

Who?

Please say it.

Please say it. Just say it.

Who's your mommy, Johnny?

What you have to understand is Rebecca...

I heard.

I fucked up.

It's my fault.

Millie, Millie, Millie, Millie.

What you did...

was a wonderful thing.

Please don't cry.

No, hey. Please don't cry.

I can't handle you crying.

He spoke.

That's because of you, Millie.

Hey.

Millie.

Look at me.

Look.

You're good.

It's gonna be okay.

Alright?

I need you.

You smell.

Every day

it gets harder and harder to be

what I need to be for him.

Hey.

It'll all be okay.

If you would just be with me on this.

We need to keep this family together.

Where were you?

I'm sorry I'm a little bit late.

We made a deal when you turned 18, Emily.

Look what I've already done for you.

You didn't even like your wife.

I know. Okay.

I'm sorry.

You're right. That's it.

You have been

so patient with me.

It's time for your reward.

So, take off your belt, Daddy.

Mm-hmm.

I know how to make you happy.

What are you do...!

You...

are a dirty,

dirty man!

Jake.

Simon.

Andrew.

Roger.

So sorry about your hand.

He's been so unsettled lately.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, Mrs. Michaels.

That's what Jacob says.

He spoke, that's what's important.

And... and why do you think he spoke?

- Why now? - Uh...

the only variables that I can think of are his medication,

and his new babysitter you told me about.

His new babysitter.

It's important not to rule anything out.

Right now. In fact,

let's increase his medication

and see if we can get the same results.

I don't want her back here.

I'd worry about the violence.

Who do you think he learned that from?

Whether or not you like her is not what matters.

What matters is that Johnny likes her,

and besides, you said that he vomited candy.

- Yes. - Sugar exacerbates

his allergies, we know this. No more sugar.

I'm really hopeful about this, Mrs. Michaels.

I think you should be too.

Eat.

Hey, bud.

Getting the royal treatment, I see.

He almost said something and just now, I swear.

You came in. I guess you scared him.

Me?

Scary?

Whatcha got there?

Mm-mmm.

That's delicious.

- What is this? - I made apple jam.

Figured it was a good second choice

since he's not allowed to have strawberry seeds.

I picked them from the yard and I used honey.

No sugar.

You made this?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

No! Johnny!

Johnny, no!

No! No!

No!

Johnny! God.

You... you can't do that to your father.

You just can't.

'Cause you love him.

And... and I love him too.

And... and you love me, right?

And you remember what I said about

important secrets, don't you?

If there was something that was really, really important to me

you would understand, right?

Because if you want me to be part of your family,

I'm gonna have to ask you to do something for me.

The next time you're alone with her...

But it's gotta be a big secret.

Even bigger than your rabbits.

And if I'm your mommy,

your real, true mommy,

then you won't have to hide your rabbits anymore.

I'll dig them up for you.

Oh...

Hi.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I like it.

I like you like that. Do more.

I can eat you.

I like it.

Do you like her?

Johnny, do you like her?

Do you like her more than the other babysitters?

Do you like her

more than them?!

Do you like her more than Mommy?

Do you?!

Don't blame the wrong thing.

It's never the knife that cuts the apple.

It's the person.

I don't need this anymore.

You healed me and Johnny.

And everything I do now,

is just purely me.

It is going to be so great.

It's like when God created love and sex,

he had us in mind.

And I know you'd say I'm too young,

but I wasn't too young for them.

I've heard about some of them since,

in the news.

They call them "strange suicides".

But they'll never mention Emily

or Marybeth,

and they'll never mention Millicent either.

Do you still think I'm not violent?

It's like licking a lollipop.

At first, so colorful and new.

But after a while,

it doesn't taste the same.

And all the colors...

they just bleed together

into this ugly, ugly gray.

Gray is the worst color of all.

Be happy for me.

I know you think he'll disappoint me

like all the others, but he won't.

Because I'm not doing it for me,

and I'm not doing it for him,

I'm doing it for Johnny.

And family

is the most important thing.

I'm sorry.

In the beginning,

I thought you were different.

But it turns out, you're just like all the rest of them.

But it's okay because I finally

found the one.

My one.

At least, I really hope so.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Michaels.

We'll no longer be needing you, Millicent.

No.

This is what's good for Johnny.

I am what's best for Johnny.

Johnny!

You! You don't even know!

You are a bad mother!

You don't know!

You don't even like him!

Johnny! Johnny!

I'm the one who got him to speak!

John... Johnny!

Ow!

I'm his mother!

Johnny!

Johnny!

We don't have to worry about her anymore.

Mommy's taken care of it.

I wanted to show you

how much I really love you.

Even when you're not your best.

Even when you're your truest self.

I'll stick by you.

No matter what.

Jesus Christ, Millie!

I almost cut you. You can't do that.

Do you love me?

What?

Do you love me?

Millie, I...

I care very much about you.

That's not the same.

What do you want?

I want more from you.

I never said I could be more.

Love is weak when it goes untested.

Without tests we might always be surrounded

by the not-good-enough.

And the crazy cunt who tries to steal your family

can only make you stronger.

Did she give this to you?!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Mom!

Mom! Mom!

You don't have to pretend

with me, Jacob.

I know you.

Stay in there!

You believe me, don't you?

If you love me,

you'll give me what I want.

Do you want to feel this way forever?

If you want me to be part of your family,

you'll get rid of her.

Rebecca!

- Yes... - Rebecca! Rebecca!

No, no, no!

Get back!

Johnny. Johnny.

Johnny!

Mom... Mommy.

- Wait, Johnny, no... - Johnny, no!

- Johnny, stop! - No!

Johnny!

If Johnny keeps this up, we're gonna run out of room.

I'll have to buy the lot behind us.

Yeah, sure.

Next time, we can do citrus.

And I'll have to write another book to pay for it.

I'm gonna go make an apple pie.

Sounds delicious.

It's not for you. It's for Johnny.

You're not worried about sugar anymore?

He is who he is.

I don't think a little pie will make a difference.

Do you?

Finish this.

I have to go find a new sitter.

I know it's a little early for your bedtime.

It's been an unusual day.

Who's your mommy, Johnny?

Who's your mommy, Johnny?

That's my boy.