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1
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TV NEWS: Let's find out, and head
over to Carl with the weather. Carl?
2
00:00:03,641 --> 00:00:05,174
MARY: Oh, so, Suzanne,
3
00:00:05,176 --> 00:00:06,875
what do I owe you for my Avon order, hm?
4
00:00:06,944 --> 00:00:08,377
$28, my love.
5
00:00:08,512 --> 00:00:09,744
$28!
6
00:00:09,781 --> 00:00:11,080
For makeup? What's the point?
7
00:00:11,215 --> 00:00:12,848
I already know what ya
look like without it!
8
00:00:12,917 --> 00:00:14,984
Uh, I think he means you're
naturally pretty, Mom.
9
00:00:14,986 --> 00:00:16,418
You don't need makeup.
10
00:00:16,487 --> 00:00:18,653
POP: Well, certainly not $28 worth.
11
00:00:18,689 --> 00:00:21,490
I mean, you're not joining the circus.
12
00:00:21,625 --> 00:00:24,159
Maybe he's right, girl. Money is tight.
13
00:00:24,162 --> 00:00:25,627
I'll just take the lipstick.
14
00:00:25,696 --> 00:00:27,429
ADULT MARK: Fox's mother
sold Avon products
15
00:00:27,498 --> 00:00:29,698
like a New York City drug pusher.
16
00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:31,633
Shut up, Mike.
17
00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:33,268
You should sell your own Avon, Mary.
18
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:34,803
Make your own bit of money.
19
00:00:34,872 --> 00:00:36,572
You'd make a great salesman, Mom.
20
00:00:36,641 --> 00:00:39,375
MIKE SR.: Will ye crowd be quiet?
I'm trying to watch the news!
21
00:00:39,510 --> 00:00:41,776
You know what, Suzanne?
22
00:00:41,813 --> 00:00:44,446
I will take that makeup.
23
00:00:44,448 --> 00:00:45,848
And the job!
24
00:00:45,850 --> 00:00:48,450
[LAUGHS] All right, girl!
25
00:00:48,452 --> 00:00:50,785
But don't go taking any of my
customers, 'cause if you do,
26
00:00:50,822 --> 00:00:54,323
you're gonna need to cover
up your bruises with...
27
00:00:54,325 --> 00:00:55,924
Fresh look foundation.
28
00:00:55,993 --> 00:00:57,259
That's a sample.
29
00:00:57,295 --> 00:00:58,460
It's on page 12.
30
00:00:58,529 --> 00:01:00,195
Oh, I won't have any
trouble getting my own.
31
00:01:00,198 --> 00:01:01,397
You just try and keep up.
32
00:01:01,399 --> 00:01:02,865
Oh! [LAUGHS]
33
00:01:02,867 --> 00:01:06,035
Come on, girl, I gotta get
you your own catalogues!
34
00:01:06,037 --> 00:01:08,003
TV NEWS: For more, let's go to Glenn...
35
00:01:08,039 --> 00:01:10,606
SUZANNE: Excuse me, Ducky, thank you.
36
00:01:10,741 --> 00:01:12,408
MIKE SR.: Good God, it's a mob scene!
37
00:01:12,543 --> 00:01:13,709
Volume!
38
00:01:13,711 --> 00:01:15,077
REPORTER: Beer strike!
39
00:01:15,146 --> 00:01:17,746
Canadian brewery workers
walked off the job today
40
00:01:17,815 --> 00:01:20,548
to protest the switch to aluminium cans.
41
00:01:20,685 --> 00:01:23,018
ADULT MARK: ... Leaving
the entire province dry.
42
00:01:23,054 --> 00:01:24,953
STRIKER: Glass is class!
43
00:01:24,989 --> 00:01:26,755
Ban the can!
44
00:01:26,824 --> 00:01:28,857
[ALL YELLING]
45
00:01:28,893 --> 00:01:30,225
ADULT MARK: As the last few cases
46
00:01:30,228 --> 00:01:31,760
of Canadian beer disappeared,
47
00:01:31,896 --> 00:01:33,828
the boozers were left
with only one option:
48
00:01:33,865 --> 00:01:37,166
American beer.
49
00:01:37,301 --> 00:01:38,900
Look at them, fighting
over the last few cases
50
00:01:38,936 --> 00:01:41,503
like it's the only lifejacket
left on the Titanic.
51
00:01:41,505 --> 00:01:43,038
I've gotta get down there.
52
00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:44,639
You don't drink beer, Dad.
53
00:01:44,675 --> 00:01:46,375
Not to buy it, to cover it!
54
00:01:46,377 --> 00:01:48,710
This is the biggest
beer-related news story since
55
00:01:48,746 --> 00:01:51,713
that woman downtown found
that baby rat in her stubby.
56
00:01:51,782 --> 00:01:54,182
- MAN ON TV: I saw it first!
- MAN 2 ON TV: Yes, now,
57
00:01:54,184 --> 00:01:57,086
and it'll be the last thing ya sees!
58
00:01:57,088 --> 00:01:59,120
What is so bad about American beer?
59
00:01:59,122 --> 00:02:00,389
Oh, it sucks.
60
00:02:00,458 --> 00:02:02,491
There's no booze in it,
you can hardly get a buzz.
61
00:02:02,626 --> 00:02:05,494
Gotta have like three or
four before you can even...
62
00:02:05,563 --> 00:02:07,062
I mean, so I'm told.
63
00:02:07,131 --> 00:02:08,664
I wouldn't know, of course.
64
00:02:08,733 --> 00:02:10,733
Oh, that Yankee swill,
65
00:02:10,735 --> 00:02:14,202
it tastes the same going
in as it does coming out.
66
00:02:14,272 --> 00:02:17,205
You know the expression
"goin' on the piss"?
67
00:02:17,341 --> 00:02:19,141
Well, American beer...
68
00:02:19,276 --> 00:02:21,009
That's the piss.
69
00:02:21,078 --> 00:02:22,878
Hello, Donny, it's me.
70
00:02:22,947 --> 00:02:25,748
Uh, listen, um...
71
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:29,952
Are you still working
on that beer truck?
72
00:02:29,954 --> 00:02:33,555
I may have a little proposition for you.
73
00:02:33,624 --> 00:02:35,290
ADULT MARK: Strike be damned.
74
00:02:35,293 --> 00:02:37,926
Pop wasn't gonna let go
of the "beer" necessities.
75
00:02:37,995 --> 00:02:42,630
?
76
00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:44,400
FOX: Thank you.
77
00:02:44,535 --> 00:02:45,734
What the hell?
78
00:02:45,736 --> 00:02:46,802
Share the wealth, nerd.
79
00:02:46,804 --> 00:02:48,904
I'm starved to death.
80
00:02:49,039 --> 00:02:52,174
Mom's at an Avon convention and
Dad got on a bender last night.
81
00:02:52,243 --> 00:02:53,676
No lunch.
82
00:02:53,811 --> 00:02:57,846
Well, I got corned beef and
a tin of Vienna sausages...
83
00:02:57,982 --> 00:03:01,750
?
84
00:03:01,885 --> 00:03:03,385
Whoa...
85
00:03:03,421 --> 00:03:05,387
Fancy.
86
00:03:05,523 --> 00:03:07,122
Oh, how kind of you.
87
00:03:07,191 --> 00:03:08,991
Hey, lunch!
88
00:03:09,126 --> 00:03:11,259
Let's go.
89
00:03:11,329 --> 00:03:12,928
Where are they going?
90
00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:15,664
MIDDLE FOX: We're going
to get fried chicken.
91
00:03:15,799 --> 00:03:17,366
Off school grounds?
92
00:03:17,368 --> 00:03:19,301
ADULT MARK: The Fox brothers
were old enough to teach,
93
00:03:19,303 --> 00:03:21,102
so they could leave the school at lunch.
94
00:03:21,238 --> 00:03:23,838
But the rest of us were
doomed to brown-bag it.
95
00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:26,241
How I longed for a
stomach full of the regret
96
00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:27,876
that grease brought.
97
00:03:27,945 --> 00:03:29,878
SILVER FOX: Oh, look at the sooky babies
98
00:03:29,947 --> 00:03:31,846
wit' their lunch-tins!
99
00:03:31,882 --> 00:03:34,682
Mommy coming to put
ya on the teat, is she?
100
00:03:34,719 --> 00:03:36,418
We could go if we wanted to.
101
00:03:36,553 --> 00:03:38,153
What's that, little baby?
102
00:03:38,189 --> 00:03:40,356
All I hears is "suck, suck, suck."
103
00:03:40,491 --> 00:03:41,857
[SUCKY NOISES]
104
00:03:41,859 --> 00:03:43,525
We didn't ask permission.
105
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,293
SILVER FOX: [LAUGHS]
106
00:03:45,329 --> 00:03:47,028
SILVER FOX: Aw, that's cute.
107
00:03:47,064 --> 00:03:49,597
Come on, Ritchie, m'boy.
We're dining out today.
108
00:03:49,633 --> 00:03:51,233
But I don't have any money!
109
00:03:51,302 --> 00:03:53,168
I've still got some
cash from mowing lawns.
110
00:03:53,204 --> 00:03:54,302
My treat.
111
00:03:54,338 --> 00:03:55,837
You hear that?
112
00:03:55,906 --> 00:03:57,439
His treat.
113
00:03:57,574 --> 00:03:58,774
SILVER FOX: We'll walk you there.
114
00:03:58,909 --> 00:04:00,308
FOX: Just leave him alone.
115
00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:02,177
You can't mooch off him
just 'cause he's small.
116
00:04:02,179 --> 00:04:03,179
ADULT MARK: Small?
117
00:04:03,180 --> 00:04:04,546
What are you, his mommy?
118
00:04:04,681 --> 00:04:06,915
- ADULT MARK: Mommy?
- He'll get in trouble.
119
00:04:06,917 --> 00:04:08,650
He's not big enough to
eat off school grounds.
120
00:04:08,686 --> 00:04:09,851
ADULT MARK: Not big enough?
121
00:04:09,887 --> 00:04:11,553
[LAUGHS]
122
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,655
ADULT MARK: The woman I
loved thought I was a baby.
123
00:04:13,691 --> 00:04:15,323
I had to prove my manhood.
124
00:04:15,325 --> 00:04:16,392
It's fine.
125
00:04:16,527 --> 00:04:18,927
I said it was my treat, and I meant it.
126
00:04:18,929 --> 00:04:22,331
ADULT MARK: I did not mean it.
127
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:25,434
Gentlemen? Shall we take our luncheon?
128
00:04:25,503 --> 00:04:27,235
- MARK: Thank you.
- SILVER FOX: After you.
129
00:04:27,237 --> 00:04:29,737
- MARK: This way.
- Idiot!
130
00:04:29,774 --> 00:04:31,140
Better keep an eye on him.
131
00:04:31,275 --> 00:04:33,275
C'mon. Let's go.
132
00:04:33,277 --> 00:04:36,078
Hurry.
133
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,681
Come on, let's go!
134
00:04:39,683 --> 00:04:41,583
[TRUCK HONKS AS IT PASSES]
135
00:04:41,619 --> 00:04:46,889
Ugh, Dick Dunphy with your
VOCM on-the-spot traffic.
136
00:04:46,891 --> 00:04:50,292
I'm in a bumper-to-bumper
jam 'cause of a three-car
137
00:04:50,361 --> 00:04:52,026
smash-up on the arterial.
138
00:04:52,063 --> 00:04:53,761
Avoid the area.
139
00:04:53,798 --> 00:04:56,331
Drive safely, arrive alive.
140
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,301
VOCM cares.
141
00:04:59,303 --> 00:05:01,436
Dick, I need a run to the liquor store!
142
00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:05,206
Jeez, Mike, I can't even look
at a beer after the night I had.
143
00:05:05,242 --> 00:05:09,711
I was the emcee for strip
bingo down to the strand lounge.
144
00:05:09,713 --> 00:05:11,146
Let's go!
145
00:05:11,281 --> 00:05:12,681
They're about to sell the
last beer in Newfoundland!
146
00:05:12,816 --> 00:05:15,784
I'm pretty sure I already drank it.
147
00:05:15,919 --> 00:05:20,255
[SIREN SWITCHES ON]
148
00:05:20,257 --> 00:05:22,257
MIKE SR.: Come on, will ya?
149
00:05:22,392 --> 00:05:23,492
You sure, Gertie?
150
00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,093
Not even a skin so soft?
151
00:05:25,129 --> 00:05:28,062
It's almost mosquito season...
152
00:05:28,099 --> 00:05:29,465
I understand.
153
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,866
All my best to Frank.
154
00:05:31,902 --> 00:05:33,535
Ya stuck-up old bat!
155
00:05:33,670 --> 00:05:35,070
POP: Any bites?
156
00:05:35,205 --> 00:05:36,271
No.
157
00:05:36,307 --> 00:05:37,673
I've been on the phone all day
158
00:05:37,675 --> 00:05:39,207
and I haven't sold a bloody thing!
159
00:05:39,276 --> 00:05:42,344
You know, it's a lot
harder to say no to someone
160
00:05:42,346 --> 00:05:44,146
if they're standing on the doorstep
161
00:05:44,281 --> 00:05:47,983
with their foot in the door-jamb.
162
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:49,284
I guess that's true.
163
00:05:49,286 --> 00:05:50,319
Yeah, come on.
164
00:05:50,454 --> 00:05:51,753
Let's get this stuff sold.
165
00:05:51,822 --> 00:05:53,888
What are you rushing me for?
166
00:05:53,924 --> 00:05:55,224
POP: I'm not rushing you.
167
00:05:55,359 --> 00:05:56,658
No, no, come on, come on.
168
00:05:56,694 --> 00:05:58,594
You've gotta sell. Come on.
169
00:05:58,596 --> 00:05:59,596
I need my catalogues.
170
00:05:59,597 --> 00:06:00,896
Good, good.
171
00:06:00,965 --> 00:06:02,430
All right!
172
00:06:02,466 --> 00:06:04,299
Close the door!
173
00:06:04,301 --> 00:06:06,834
[DOOR CLOSES]
174
00:06:06,871 --> 00:06:11,306
?
175
00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:13,041
[LINE RINGING]
176
00:06:13,043 --> 00:06:14,776
Donny, you packed?
177
00:06:14,845 --> 00:06:15,977
Good.
178
00:06:16,013 --> 00:06:17,779
Oh, we have an empty nest here.
179
00:06:17,781 --> 00:06:21,416
I repeat... empty nest.
180
00:06:21,485 --> 00:06:23,151
- [CROWD SHOUTING]
- DICK: Jesus!
181
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:24,986
Gimme your press pass
so I can buy some beer.
182
00:06:25,022 --> 00:06:26,221
They're almost out.
183
00:06:26,223 --> 00:06:27,855
Are you mad? You can't
cross a picket line.
184
00:06:27,892 --> 00:06:30,858
Besides, I'm live in 4, 3...
185
00:06:30,895 --> 00:06:33,061
VOCM On-the-Spot News
at the liquor store,
186
00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:34,462
where the scene is...
187
00:06:34,532 --> 00:06:36,465
Sobering.
188
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,700
It's a "bottle-neck" as
thirst-crazed customers
189
00:06:38,835 --> 00:06:40,536
are desperate to lay their shaking hands
190
00:06:40,671 --> 00:06:43,805
on the last bottle of Canadian beer.
191
00:06:43,941 --> 00:06:46,140
Mike Critch, for the VOCM News service.
192
00:06:46,177 --> 00:06:47,275
DICK: Come on!
193
00:06:47,344 --> 00:06:50,612
[CROWD SHOUTING ANGRILY]
194
00:06:50,681 --> 00:06:51,879
DICK: Out of me' way!
195
00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:53,915
DICK: Mike, Mike! Hang on, Mike!
196
00:06:53,917 --> 00:06:56,351
I just gotta grab a case of Blue Star!
197
00:06:56,353 --> 00:06:57,485
Press!
198
00:06:57,521 --> 00:06:59,421
Press... !
199
00:06:59,423 --> 00:07:01,356
Press!
200
00:07:01,358 --> 00:07:02,891
Arsehole.
201
00:07:03,026 --> 00:07:05,093
?
202
00:07:05,162 --> 00:07:06,695
ADULT MARK: There was no denying it.
203
00:07:06,764 --> 00:07:08,497
I was one of the big kids.
204
00:07:08,632 --> 00:07:10,298
Money can't buy happiness,
205
00:07:10,334 --> 00:07:11,967
but it can buy chicken.
206
00:07:12,036 --> 00:07:13,402
SILVER FOX: I'm gut-founded!
207
00:07:13,537 --> 00:07:15,003
Thanks for the snack packs, Mark.
208
00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:16,371
Mark?
209
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:18,974
You guys have called me
"arse," "tool," "dick,"
210
00:07:19,043 --> 00:07:20,542
and "arse-dicked tool,"
211
00:07:20,611 --> 00:07:23,311
but you've never called
me by my real name before.
212
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:24,846
FOX: Hey, dick.
213
00:07:24,915 --> 00:07:26,181
RITCHIE: We gotta go back!
214
00:07:26,183 --> 00:07:27,449
It's quarter to one.
215
00:07:27,518 --> 00:07:28,650
RITCHIE: Is that chicken?
216
00:07:28,719 --> 00:07:30,118
What are you doing here?
217
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,319
Those tools are just using you.
218
00:07:31,355 --> 00:07:33,021
MARK: What, and you're not?
219
00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:35,590
RITCHIE: I can tell you only
went 'cause you were scared.
220
00:07:35,593 --> 00:07:37,325
Textbook peer pressure.
221
00:07:37,361 --> 00:07:38,926
Look, I'm big enough to eat here,
222
00:07:38,963 --> 00:07:40,629
and I don't need you
two mooching off me!
223
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:41,764
FOX: Fine. Be an arse!
224
00:07:41,832 --> 00:07:43,999
I don't care.
225
00:07:44,068 --> 00:07:45,200
Come on.
226
00:07:45,269 --> 00:07:47,369
We're gonna miss the bell!
227
00:07:47,371 --> 00:07:49,371
SILVER FOX: We're on the
pip for the rest of the day.
228
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,439
Wanna come with, Mark?
229
00:07:51,441 --> 00:07:53,274
You're cutting class?
230
00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:54,743
RITCHIE: Come on!
231
00:07:54,812 --> 00:07:56,945
Got somethin' you're gonna wanna see.
232
00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:58,880
ADULT MARK: It was time
to prove that just because
233
00:07:59,016 --> 00:08:01,082
I ate chicken didn't mean I was one.
234
00:08:01,118 --> 00:08:02,751
SILVER FOX: Forget it.
You're still a baby.
235
00:08:02,820 --> 00:08:04,585
FOX: I told you, he's too young!
236
00:08:04,622 --> 00:08:06,688
People will know he's on the pip.
237
00:08:06,823 --> 00:08:09,223
It's fine. Lead the way.
238
00:08:09,260 --> 00:08:12,960
?
239
00:08:12,997 --> 00:08:15,230
ADULT MARK: I felt like
Little Red Riding Hood...
240
00:08:15,365 --> 00:08:17,299
Except I was a little brown-haired boy,
241
00:08:17,434 --> 00:08:19,767
my wolf was a Fox, and
everyone had already eaten
242
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:22,103
the contents of my basket.
243
00:08:26,677 --> 00:08:30,912
ADULT MARK: The big kids'
hang-out in the woods.
244
00:08:30,914 --> 00:08:34,716
A dark place between
childhood and adulthood...
245
00:08:34,785 --> 00:08:37,385
Where boys became men.
246
00:08:37,421 --> 00:08:39,655
MARK: Wait...
247
00:08:40,034 --> 00:08:43,902
This is it!
248
00:08:44,037 --> 00:08:45,504
Party time!
249
00:08:45,639 --> 00:08:47,639
- MARK: Is... is that...
- SILVER FOX: It's Dad's.
250
00:08:47,675 --> 00:08:50,041
He hates American
beer. He won't miss it.
251
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:51,676
MIDDLE FOX: He's always drunk, anyway.
252
00:08:51,712 --> 00:08:52,944
He'll just think he drank it.
253
00:08:53,013 --> 00:08:54,513
SILVER FOX: Shut up!
254
00:08:54,648 --> 00:08:55,980
So...
255
00:08:56,016 --> 00:08:58,784
Baby want his bottle... ?
256
00:08:58,786 --> 00:09:00,452
Can?
257
00:09:00,454 --> 00:09:01,920
ADULT MARK: There was peer pressure,
258
00:09:01,922 --> 00:09:04,055
and then there was beer pressure.
259
00:09:11,699 --> 00:09:12,864
Dad...
260
00:09:12,866 --> 00:09:14,967
What are you doing up?
261
00:09:15,102 --> 00:09:16,969
I mean, home.
262
00:09:17,104 --> 00:09:19,203
Shouldn't you be at school?
263
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,874
The boys pipped off so
I thought I would, but...
264
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,276
I'll just go. It's fine.
265
00:09:24,411 --> 00:09:26,678
No, wait.
266
00:09:26,813 --> 00:09:29,081
Day off won't kill ya.
267
00:09:29,083 --> 00:09:32,451
Missing school never hurt me.
268
00:09:32,586 --> 00:09:34,252
Ooh...
269
00:09:34,255 --> 00:09:37,722
Ah, this American stuff
tastes like fish piss!
270
00:09:37,758 --> 00:09:38,790
Can barely drink it.
271
00:09:38,925 --> 00:09:41,293
Then don't.
272
00:09:41,428 --> 00:09:43,962
What?
273
00:09:43,964 --> 00:09:46,230
- FOX: Nothin'.
- DAD: No.
274
00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:49,835
Don't be chicken. What?
275
00:09:49,837 --> 00:09:54,939
If you don't like it,
then why do you drink it?
276
00:09:55,009 --> 00:09:56,741
Jesus, I'm not an alkie, b'y!
277
00:09:56,777 --> 00:09:58,043
It's just a few beer.
278
00:09:58,112 --> 00:10:00,978
I-I know, I know. Just forget it.
279
00:10:01,015 --> 00:10:03,915
It's fine.
280
00:10:03,984 --> 00:10:05,850
Shag it.
281
00:10:05,852 --> 00:10:08,119
Can't even get a buzz off it at all.
282
00:10:11,191 --> 00:10:13,391
You eat?
283
00:10:13,427 --> 00:10:14,759
No.
284
00:10:14,828 --> 00:10:16,528
Help me get these empties together,
285
00:10:16,663 --> 00:10:19,665
we get some money to get some
chicken and chips or something.
286
00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,266
What do you say?
287
00:10:21,268 --> 00:10:25,604
Uh, okay. Yeah.
288
00:10:25,606 --> 00:10:27,239
That's better, huh?
289
00:10:27,374 --> 00:10:29,941
[BIRDS CHIRPING OUTSIDE]
290
00:10:29,943 --> 00:10:32,544
Yeah.
291
00:10:32,546 --> 00:10:36,281
?
292
00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:38,583
Mr. Perez!
293
00:10:38,619 --> 00:10:41,419
Where is everyone?
294
00:10:41,488 --> 00:10:42,954
We...
295
00:10:43,023 --> 00:10:44,155
We...
296
00:10:44,224 --> 00:10:45,623
What's the matter, Ritchie?
297
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:48,059
Chicken?
298
00:10:48,128 --> 00:10:49,294
[STUDENTS LAUGH]
299
00:10:49,429 --> 00:10:51,295
Tina.
300
00:10:51,332 --> 00:10:53,765
Well, Ritchie?
301
00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:55,434
[SIGHS]
302
00:10:55,569 --> 00:10:59,771
[CROWD SHOUTING ANGRILY]
303
00:10:59,807 --> 00:11:02,240
DICK: Away with you! Get off of me!
304
00:11:02,376 --> 00:11:04,175
Get off of me now!
305
00:11:04,211 --> 00:11:08,346
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
306
00:11:12,653 --> 00:11:14,519
Good God, Dick! You
almost got me killed!
307
00:11:14,588 --> 00:11:16,121
I'm sorry, Mike, but I can't go drinking
308
00:11:16,190 --> 00:11:17,522
the American stuff, b'y!
309
00:11:17,591 --> 00:11:19,190
I'll drink anything;
I mean, I'll even drink
310
00:11:19,226 --> 00:11:21,058
the bits left at parties
with butts in 'em,
311
00:11:21,095 --> 00:11:23,027
but I wouldn't use
that to flush a toilet.
312
00:11:23,097 --> 00:11:25,097
Dick, this is American beer.
313
00:11:25,232 --> 00:11:26,498
It's all they had left.
314
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,666
But I needs a straightener
if I'm gonna drive.
315
00:11:28,702 --> 00:11:30,802
MIKE SR.: Drive, drive!
316
00:11:30,938 --> 00:11:32,904
- [SHOUTING CONTINUES]
- [SIREN SWITCHES ON]
317
00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:34,339
[HORN HONKING]
318
00:11:36,844 --> 00:11:39,878
[SIGHS]
319
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,947
Wha...! What are you doing?
320
00:11:41,949 --> 00:11:44,482
You should be out there
pounding the pavement.
321
00:11:44,551 --> 00:11:47,218
I tried Putt's Farm,
Kirkland's Garage, nothing!
322
00:11:47,287 --> 00:11:49,220
I got all the way down to the Flemings,
323
00:11:49,256 --> 00:11:50,322
but they already bought
theirs off Suzanne.
324
00:11:50,324 --> 00:11:51,756
She's got the whole road limbed out!
325
00:11:51,759 --> 00:11:53,157
Well, get back out there!
326
00:11:53,193 --> 00:11:55,494
No!
327
00:11:55,629 --> 00:11:57,328
I'm, uh, here for the, um, package.
328
00:11:57,364 --> 00:11:58,630
Oh, yeah, yeah.
329
00:11:58,765 --> 00:12:01,533
Thank you.
330
00:12:01,535 --> 00:12:04,569
- There you go. Whoa...
- What're you up to?
331
00:12:04,638 --> 00:12:05,870
Beer?
332
00:12:05,906 --> 00:12:07,738
POP: Good, thank you.
333
00:12:07,775 --> 00:12:11,042
Look, I know a guy who
works on a beer truck.
334
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,645
A few cases got redirected...
335
00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:15,847
- MARY: Stolen!
- POP: Diverted.
336
00:12:15,982 --> 00:12:20,185
And I'm just out there to help
him get it out into the world.
337
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,920
Catch and release.
338
00:12:21,989 --> 00:12:24,522
You bloody bootlegger! This is illegal.
339
00:12:24,591 --> 00:12:26,324
Plus, those hard-working
boys down at the brewery
340
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:28,059
are trying to save
their jobs, ya frigger!
341
00:12:28,061 --> 00:12:29,661
Look, calm down, will you?
342
00:12:29,730 --> 00:12:31,195
It's not gonna happen again.
343
00:12:31,231 --> 00:12:33,898
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
344
00:12:33,967 --> 00:12:35,700
Ah.
345
00:12:35,702 --> 00:12:37,068
Loyola.
346
00:12:37,070 --> 00:12:39,136
You change your mind
about that citrus soap?
347
00:12:39,173 --> 00:12:41,606
Uh, no, Mary. I'm here for Pat.
348
00:12:41,642 --> 00:12:43,141
Pat, do you have that package?
349
00:12:43,276 --> 00:12:44,542
I do indeed.
350
00:12:44,578 --> 00:12:46,477
He can't sell you any beer.
351
00:12:46,513 --> 00:12:49,146
But...
352
00:12:49,183 --> 00:12:51,883
He can give it to you for free...
353
00:12:52,018 --> 00:12:54,219
With the purchase of
select Avon products.
354
00:12:54,288 --> 00:12:56,254
Ignore her.
355
00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:58,223
Four dollars.
356
00:12:58,292 --> 00:13:00,191
Hey, either we do this together
357
00:13:00,194 --> 00:13:02,761
or I drop you outside that beer factory
358
00:13:02,763 --> 00:13:06,031
with a sign around your
neck saying "bootlegger."
359
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:08,500
?
360
00:13:08,635 --> 00:13:10,167
Pay the woman.
361
00:13:10,204 --> 00:13:12,437
MARY: Here.
362
00:13:12,506 --> 00:13:14,439
Hm!
363
00:13:14,441 --> 00:13:15,773
You gonna drink it or what?
364
00:13:15,809 --> 00:13:17,108
No, thank you.
365
00:13:17,244 --> 00:13:18,677
I'm more of a Canadian beer guy.
366
00:13:18,812 --> 00:13:20,745
Ha! Sook!
367
00:13:20,814 --> 00:13:22,714
Sook!
368
00:13:22,716 --> 00:13:26,851
ADULT MARK: I knew the
dangers of drinking...
369
00:13:26,854 --> 00:13:28,053
MARK: Oh, are you okay?
370
00:13:28,188 --> 00:13:30,455
MIKE JR.: Oh... I'm dying. Bucket!
371
00:13:30,590 --> 00:13:32,057
[VOMITING]
372
00:13:32,059 --> 00:13:35,193
ADULT MARK: ... From
watching my brother.
373
00:13:35,195 --> 00:13:37,595
SILVER FOX: Just like
I told my sister...
374
00:13:37,631 --> 00:13:39,330
You're a baby!
375
00:13:39,366 --> 00:13:40,632
ADULT MARK: He had a point.
376
00:13:40,767 --> 00:13:42,867
There was no way Fox
could say I was a baby
377
00:13:42,870 --> 00:13:44,336
if I was a drinking man.
378
00:13:44,338 --> 00:13:49,274
I mean, how bad could it be?
379
00:13:49,343 --> 00:13:51,342
[EXHALES]
380
00:13:51,378 --> 00:13:53,444
Gentlemen, to your health!
381
00:13:56,016 --> 00:13:58,016
[LAUGHTER]
382
00:13:58,018 --> 00:13:59,784
MARK: Yuck, that stuff sucks!
383
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,886
I mean, that American stuff sucks.
384
00:14:01,922 --> 00:14:03,487
No booze in it!
385
00:14:03,524 --> 00:14:05,356
SILVER FOX: Nuh-uh.
386
00:14:05,425 --> 00:14:07,024
You don't leave here without drinking.
387
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:09,761
I don't want you to narc us out.
388
00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:10,996
MARK: Ha-ha, very funny.
389
00:14:11,131 --> 00:14:13,631
BROTHERS: Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
390
00:14:13,667 --> 00:14:14,667
- Chug...
- [BRANCH CRACKS]
391
00:14:14,734 --> 00:14:15,967
What was that?
392
00:14:16,102 --> 00:14:18,503
SISTER ROSE: Come out,
come out, wherever you are!
393
00:14:18,572 --> 00:14:21,039
I can hear you!
394
00:14:21,041 --> 00:14:24,408
- [IN A WHISPER] It's Sister Rose!
- SISTER ROSE: I can't see you, but God can!
395
00:14:24,444 --> 00:14:26,010
He sees you when you're sleeping!
396
00:14:26,046 --> 00:14:27,345
He knows when you're awake!
397
00:14:27,347 --> 00:14:31,050
I followed a trail of
denuded chicken bones.
398
00:14:31,785 --> 00:14:35,887
Come on, my little Hansel and Gretel!
399
00:14:35,889 --> 00:14:38,623
- SILVER FOX: Don't... move.
- SISTER ROSE: You can't hide forever!
400
00:14:38,758 --> 00:14:40,859
If I find you deserters,
401
00:14:40,861 --> 00:14:42,860
I'm gonna smack the
arse right off of ya!
402
00:14:42,896 --> 00:14:45,063
ADULT MARK: I was terrified.
403
00:14:45,132 --> 00:14:46,531
It was a good thing I wasn't sober.
404
00:14:46,666 --> 00:14:47,732
SISTER ROSE: Come out and talk to me!
405
00:14:50,571 --> 00:14:52,203
Never having experienced booze,
406
00:14:52,272 --> 00:14:55,540
I took my anxiety for being drunk.
407
00:14:55,675 --> 00:14:58,910
Fee-fi-fo-fum!
408
00:14:58,979 --> 00:15:02,414
I smell the beer of someone dumb!
409
00:15:02,416 --> 00:15:04,382
?
410
00:15:04,418 --> 00:15:06,917
ADULT MARK: They say humans
have two modes in crisis:
411
00:15:06,954 --> 00:15:08,453
Fight or flight.
412
00:15:08,455 --> 00:15:09,887
I had a third:
413
00:15:09,923 --> 00:15:12,824
Freeze.
414
00:15:12,893 --> 00:15:15,226
The Fox brothers ran smack into the nun,
415
00:15:15,362 --> 00:15:18,330
just like moths to the flame.
416
00:15:18,465 --> 00:15:21,299
I thought I was old enough to
eat lunch off school grounds,
417
00:15:21,434 --> 00:15:24,435
but not even Pop was
old enough for this!
418
00:15:24,504 --> 00:15:26,771
So, you wanna watch some
wrestling with the old man?
419
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,373
Ric Flair is about to
take on Angelo Mosca!
420
00:15:29,409 --> 00:15:30,508
Yeah, sure.
421
00:15:30,577 --> 00:15:33,711
I guess.
422
00:15:33,847 --> 00:15:34,980
- Dad?
- [BELL ON TV RINGS]
423
00:15:35,115 --> 00:15:36,848
Yeah, kitten?
424
00:15:36,850 --> 00:15:38,049
It's nice when you don't drink.
425
00:15:38,184 --> 00:15:39,918
Jeez, b'y.
426
00:15:40,053 --> 00:15:41,586
So you really do think I'm an alkie.
427
00:15:41,588 --> 00:15:42,921
No, no.
428
00:15:43,056 --> 00:15:44,455
I-I never meant it like that.
429
00:15:44,524 --> 00:15:47,392
I just meant...
430
00:15:47,527 --> 00:15:49,594
I want to spend more time here.
431
00:15:49,729 --> 00:15:51,762
[CHEERING ON TV]
432
00:15:51,798 --> 00:15:54,231
It's your house too.
433
00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:56,400
Now, luh. Ric Flair.
434
00:15:56,436 --> 00:15:59,737
The stylin', profilin',
limousine ridin'...
435
00:15:59,806 --> 00:16:03,074
BOTH: Jet flying, kiss-stealing,
wheelin' and dealin'
436
00:16:03,076 --> 00:16:04,076
son of a gun!
437
00:16:04,077 --> 00:16:05,176
Woo!
438
00:16:05,311 --> 00:16:08,279
DAD: [LAUGHS]
439
00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,148
Here, give me a fry. Give me a fry!
440
00:16:10,217 --> 00:16:12,283
FOX: It's my fries! Stop it!
441
00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:14,519
No!
442
00:16:14,654 --> 00:16:16,888
?
443
00:16:17,023 --> 00:16:19,357
POP: All right, that's two
Blue Star and a skin so soft.
444
00:16:19,492 --> 00:16:20,925
That comes to...
445
00:16:20,961 --> 00:16:22,827
- MARY: Fourteen dollars.
- POP: Fourteen dollars.
446
00:16:22,896 --> 00:16:25,830
But, if you take a bar of
moonwind soap on a rope,
447
00:16:25,832 --> 00:16:29,100
we'll throw in two bottles
of Blackhorse and call it 20.
448
00:16:29,136 --> 00:16:30,835
All right, thank you.
449
00:16:30,871 --> 00:16:32,504
- MARY: There you are.
- POP: All right.
450
00:16:32,506 --> 00:16:33,905
[LAUGHS]
451
00:16:33,974 --> 00:16:35,440
- POP: How're we doing?
- MARY: Fifty-seven dollars.
452
00:16:35,575 --> 00:16:38,510
- VOICE: Pat? You home?
- [IN A WHISPER] What? Officer Butt!
453
00:16:38,512 --> 00:16:39,878
Quick, hide the stuff.
454
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,914
Quick, throw that over.
455
00:16:42,916 --> 00:16:44,181
MARY: Oh!
456
00:16:44,217 --> 00:16:46,084
Officer Butt, what brings you here?
457
00:16:46,219 --> 00:16:48,620
I heard that there might
be some beer for sale here.
458
00:16:48,755 --> 00:16:50,188
Oh, that's ridiculous.
459
00:16:50,190 --> 00:16:52,656
All right, look, we haven't
got time for this, piggie.
460
00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:54,325
Either arrest me or get lost.
461
00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:57,061
Your cop car out there, it's
scaring off our customers!
462
00:16:57,064 --> 00:16:58,662
Avon customers.
463
00:16:58,699 --> 00:16:59,997
I've been selling Avon products.
464
00:17:00,033 --> 00:17:01,633
No law against that.
465
00:17:01,768 --> 00:17:04,135
Oh, well, that's too bad.
466
00:17:04,270 --> 00:17:07,671
I was looking for a few
beer to take up to my cabin.
467
00:17:07,708 --> 00:17:09,007
Can't drink that American piss.
468
00:17:09,142 --> 00:17:10,475
Oh! [CHUCKLES]
469
00:17:10,544 --> 00:17:13,812
Well, in that case, you
came to the right place.
470
00:17:15,348 --> 00:17:17,782
Four Jockey Club.
471
00:17:17,784 --> 00:17:20,251
And a bottle of Sweet
Honesty Cologne for 30 bucks.
472
00:17:26,259 --> 00:17:28,159
ADULT MARK: I was as sober as a judge,
473
00:17:28,294 --> 00:17:31,629
but convinced that I was drunk.
474
00:17:31,631 --> 00:17:33,898
I was terrified that
the nun would call Dad
475
00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:39,304
and I'd be sent to juvie like
Mickey Rooney in Boystown!
476
00:17:39,439 --> 00:17:41,372
What the hell are you doing?
477
00:17:41,374 --> 00:17:42,406
Taking a walk.
478
00:17:42,442 --> 00:17:43,707
Hm.
479
00:17:43,744 --> 00:17:44,744
In the hallway?
480
00:17:44,811 --> 00:17:46,010
Sure.
481
00:17:46,012 --> 00:17:47,979
Sure. Okay.
482
00:17:48,114 --> 00:17:50,648
So, walk.
483
00:17:50,784 --> 00:17:53,851
MARK: Ah... Yeah.
484
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,553
Hm. School called.
485
00:17:55,688 --> 00:17:57,622
- MARK: Well...
- MIKE JR.: Said you pipped off.
486
00:17:57,624 --> 00:17:59,457
Uh, I can explain. I was just...
487
00:17:59,459 --> 00:18:01,326
I told them you came home sick.
488
00:18:01,461 --> 00:18:02,493
So... ?
489
00:18:02,496 --> 00:18:04,729
What...
490
00:18:04,864 --> 00:18:06,931
is that pee?
491
00:18:06,933 --> 00:18:09,000
No, it's beer.
492
00:18:09,002 --> 00:18:10,668
No, it's pee.
493
00:18:10,670 --> 00:18:12,403
But it's not mine! It's somebody else's!
494
00:18:12,405 --> 00:18:14,405
Oh, you smell like
the floor of a legion!
495
00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:18,009
How many did you have?
496
00:18:18,011 --> 00:18:20,311
One.
497
00:18:20,313 --> 00:18:21,779
Okay.
498
00:18:21,914 --> 00:18:23,148
Act normal.
499
00:18:23,283 --> 00:18:25,749
You're fine.
500
00:18:25,786 --> 00:18:28,353
?
501
00:18:28,488 --> 00:18:29,887
Oh, dear God.
502
00:18:32,025 --> 00:18:35,426
I tallied up our take.
503
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,094
I sold all my product in one day.
504
00:18:37,096 --> 00:18:39,163
Ha! A regular Estee Lauder.
505
00:18:39,166 --> 00:18:42,033
I had a pretty interesting day myself.
506
00:18:42,035 --> 00:18:43,901
Thought I wouldn't make
it out of there alive.
507
00:18:43,937 --> 00:18:45,837
Like covering 'Nam.
508
00:18:45,839 --> 00:18:47,505
"The battery of bottle-breaking bottlers
509
00:18:47,507 --> 00:18:50,108
left this broadcaster black and blue."
510
00:18:50,110 --> 00:18:52,176
They're gonna be out for
a hell of a long time,
511
00:18:52,179 --> 00:18:53,511
take my word on it.
512
00:18:53,513 --> 00:18:55,046
MARK: Father, Mother, Pop.
513
00:18:55,115 --> 00:18:56,848
How is everyone?
514
00:18:56,983 --> 00:18:58,583
ADULT MARK: I took my brother's advice.
515
00:18:58,652 --> 00:19:01,118
The least suspicious thing
to do was to act normally,
516
00:19:01,154 --> 00:19:04,255
which, when you try to do
it, always seems suspicious.
517
00:19:04,291 --> 00:19:05,657
Is that coffee?
518
00:19:05,659 --> 00:19:07,458
You drink tea.
519
00:19:07,527 --> 00:19:09,660
I felt like a cuppa' joe.
520
00:19:09,696 --> 00:19:11,262
What's that smell?
521
00:19:11,331 --> 00:19:12,796
It's...
522
00:19:12,833 --> 00:19:14,365
Uh...
523
00:19:14,401 --> 00:19:16,534
Uh... The...
524
00:19:16,669 --> 00:19:18,303
MIKE JR.: Oh, it's Mark.
525
00:19:18,305 --> 00:19:20,204
The little weirdo got into your Avon.
526
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,339
Come on.
527
00:19:21,341 --> 00:19:22,473
MARK: What, uh...
528
00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:25,276
MIKE JR.: Up, up, up, up.
529
00:19:25,312 --> 00:19:28,346
[QUIETLY] Now, go wash up,
'cause you friggin' reek.
530
00:19:28,481 --> 00:19:30,048
Uh, apologies.
531
00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:31,482
TV NEWS: Breaking news.
532
00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:33,717
Workers and the union
resolved the beer strike today
533
00:19:33,753 --> 00:19:36,020
after a 22-hour bargaining session.
534
00:19:36,056 --> 00:19:38,289
The hangover is over.
535
00:19:38,358 --> 00:19:40,291
I knew it wouldn't last.
536
00:19:40,327 --> 00:19:41,625
No more American beer.
537
00:19:41,661 --> 00:19:43,761
You must be happy, Pop.
538
00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:45,029
MARK: Good.
539
00:19:45,065 --> 00:19:46,897
That American beer is awful.
540
00:19:46,899 --> 00:19:48,333
MARY: Hm?
541
00:19:48,335 --> 00:19:49,500
So I hear.
542
00:19:49,502 --> 00:19:51,202
Goodnight.
543
00:19:51,204 --> 00:19:53,705
?
544
00:19:53,707 --> 00:19:55,907
TV NEWS: The strike resolution
means that Newfoundlanders
545
00:19:55,909 --> 00:19:58,175
can once again buy Canadian beer.
546
00:19:58,211 --> 00:20:00,844
Sales of beer had dropped
50% in the capital city,
547
00:20:00,881 --> 00:20:02,046
with some stores...
548
00:20:02,115 --> 00:20:04,115
Okay, I gotta pop out for a minute.
549
00:20:04,117 --> 00:20:07,851
- Dad?
- DAD: I'll be right back.
550
00:20:07,888 --> 00:20:10,121
ADULT MARK: Fox had been
the only person in town
551
00:20:10,123 --> 00:20:11,689
happy for the beer strike.
552
00:20:11,758 --> 00:20:14,391
Her father was the rare
man who promised more sober
553
00:20:14,427 --> 00:20:17,862
than he did drunk.
554
00:20:17,931 --> 00:20:22,200
Fox knew the reality of beer.
555
00:20:22,335 --> 00:20:24,602
I had been seduced by the mystery of it.
556
00:20:24,737 --> 00:20:27,738
But, like Fox, I, too,
had become a teetotaller.
557
00:20:27,774 --> 00:20:31,609
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
558
00:20:31,744 --> 00:20:33,378
Are you alive?
559
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:35,313
The room's spinning.
560
00:20:35,315 --> 00:20:38,149
Here.
561
00:20:38,284 --> 00:20:41,152
Come on, take it.
562
00:20:41,287 --> 00:20:42,453
Ugh, I don't want beer!
563
00:20:42,588 --> 00:20:44,889
It's not beer, it's flat ginger ale.
564
00:20:44,958 --> 00:20:49,360
Pretty much the same stuff you
were drinking earlier, though.
565
00:20:49,495 --> 00:20:52,163
MIKE JR.: I remember my first beer.
566
00:20:52,232 --> 00:20:53,631
How old were you?
567
00:20:53,633 --> 00:20:55,032
Sixteen.
568
00:20:55,168 --> 00:20:56,701
Wait, I had my first
beer before you did?
569
00:20:56,836 --> 00:20:59,870
Ha-ha, shut up!
570
00:20:59,940 --> 00:21:03,574
And hey, saying yes to
things doesn't make you tough.
571
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,709
Saying no does.
572
00:21:05,745 --> 00:21:09,180
Don't let people push you into things.
573
00:21:09,249 --> 00:21:11,049
ADULT MARK: My brother was right.
574
00:21:11,184 --> 00:21:14,786
Why worry about peer pressure
when I barely had any peers?
575
00:21:14,788 --> 00:21:18,455
I would be on my own personal
beer strike for a long time.
576
00:21:18,491 --> 00:21:21,459
[GAGGING]
577
00:21:21,461 --> 00:21:22,860
[VOMITING]
578
00:21:22,862 --> 00:21:26,064
?
579
00:21:34,073 --> 00:21:38,009
?
580
00:21:38,011 --> 00:21:42,346
?
581
00:21:42,349 --> 00:21:46,184
?
582
00:21:46,186 --> 00:21:49,754
?
583
00:21:49,804 --> 00:21:54,354
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