Original subtitles

♪ ♪

♪ Clean cups. ♪ And they just get dirty again.

Life, right? Are you watching the rowboat guy video again?

He's not just the rowboat guy, Lin.

He's Quincy Cox. He's gonna be the first person

to row by himself from New Zealand to Nova Scotia,

retracing the original wool route,

which I guess was a thing?

QUINCY: When I asked the Lamb & Wool Federation

to sponsor my adventure, they said, "Wool, all right." Get it?

Ha. "Wool, all right."

QUINCY: It's always been my dream

to be the first solo-wool-route-rower,

and after years of preparation, I'm finally here.

I'm on my route!

Dad, you do know there's more

than one video on the Internet, right?

You don't have to keep watching this one.

It's just, I still can't believe he's coming here...

to our restaurant today.

Quincy Cox.

You only found out about this guy yesterday

when the publicist called.

I know. Best call ever.

Quincy Cox is stopping on his route, in our town,

and they ask him what he wants to eat, and he says, "A burger,"

and they pick our restaurant.

And you said "Who's Quincy Cox?"

I know. I said that. I was dumb then. I'm smart now.

- Eh. - And as if that wasn't already really great,

a reporter from the paper is coming here

to cover him eating our burger.

It's huge publicity for us,

so you all need to get a little more excited.

- It's weird to see Dad happy. - I don't know if I like it.

Also, this boat is just so cool, and cozy,

with everything you need.

I could see doing that. Maybe?

You know? With solar panels that charge the batteries

that power the navigation system.

And the desalination tank.

The satellite phone, the tiny cabin to sleep in,

little fishing pole,

and the induction burner to cook the fish.

Dad, are you gonna leave us for a rowboat?

If it would have me.

Man, I have never been so glad to live on the wool route.

I guess I just take it for granted.

Doesn't he get bored out there?

Rowing and rowing, every single day? Eh-eh-eh.

Um, okay, Quincy's gonna be here any minute,

and I don't want him to see you doing that.

I won't. It just sounds really boring and dumb, that's all.

Look, maybe it's better

if none of you talk to him when he's here?

Maybe you could all be... upstairs?

No way! We're gonna be in the paper, baby! A picture of us!

Yeah, I curled my hair for this. Huh?

Just the one, or...?

I mean, I don't really know how to curl my hair,

but I think you just twist it up a lot?

- (entry bell jingles) - Hi! Oh, it's Gene.

Nice to see you, too!

There's our little paper-folder.

How was your first day in origami club?

- I quit. - What? No.

Yup. I just thought it could be my thing.

Like, "Hey, there's that origami guy.

He looks into your eyes and folds what's in your soul."

But it turns out origami is not for-aga-me!

What happened? You were so excited.

Saturday origami club at the Rec Center.

It's just so much folding.

And the cranes. It's all about cranes.

Is that a crane?

LINDA: I think so.

- A crane's a bird, right? - It is?!

Gene, you just joined. You can't quit.

Eh, sometimes you know right away

when something's not a good fit.

Like when Dad tried wearing shorts?

Those were a tense couple days.

- Mm. - It's good to see things through.

And you've been on a little bit of a quit-streak lately.

I don't want to do this anymore! I don't like this!

What was I thinking?

No, thank you!

I was really hoping this one might stick.

I was gonna be an origami Mommy.

I mean, Lin, maybe it's okay to quit things that are origami

and all those other things.

Listen, give it another shot.

Go to the next meeting, and if you still hate it,

- then quit, okay? - Eh...

- Oh, he's here! - Oops. Sorry, Mom. We're doing that now.

And he's walking

as if he's never been on land before.

No one say anything about that, okay? Be cool.

- Like this? Mm. - Stop.

- Like this? - Guys, stop.

- Be cool like you? - All of you, stop.

- Hello. - Quincy Cox. Hi.

Uh, welcome to Bob's Burgers. We're huge fans.

Are you by yourself, or do you have, like, an entourage?

Uh, I don't know a lot about the rowing world.

(sniffs) Oh, it does not smell like the ocean in here.

That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about this place.

- Louise. - Oh, I've been dreaming of a burger for months.

- (high-pitched, soft laugh) - You sure you don't want Thai food?

- Or maybe a hoagie? - Gene.

My publicist says you're the best burger in town.

Or the closest burger to where

I was getting out of the ocean, anyhow.

Aw, that's our thing.

And our burgers are good. I mean, I hope you like it.

Dad, just ask him to prom.

Louise, just leave me alone.

Oh. Whoa! I'm wobbling, right? Not-not the floors?

Yup. Our floor just got de-wobbled.

Uh, I'm Bob. Uh, it's great to meet you.

- Hello, Bob, everyone. - Hi.

Should I order now?

Oh, aren't we gonna do that when the reporter gets here?

You know, for the photo op?

Right. The interview, the photo op.

Uh, let's just check with my publicist.

"So hungry. Where is reporter?"

She's typing. Okay.

"He's running 20 mins late, 45 mins max."

"I... might... die... before then."

Oh, here we go.

She says I can get one now,

and another one when the reporter gets here.

Okay. You have more than one burger, right?

I... do. Do-do you want the burger of the day?

The Mold Man and the Sea Burger.

Comes with blue cheese. Oh, great.

We told him not to put the word "mold" on the menu,

but he hates money.

The thought of a juicy, meaty burger is what kept me going.

It was your meat-avation. (chuckles) Sorry.

I've only had fish for the last 12 weeks.

And dehydrated fat-replacement supplement packets.

Yum!

- Here you go. - Oh, wow.

I'm gonna eat this fella nice and slow

so my belly doesn't rupture.

- Cool. - Mmm! Mmm!

(gasps, cries softly)

Um... are you crying.

It-It's more weeping.

Um, is that... is that a good thing?

(Quincy whimpering)

(crying): Oh.

(clears throat) Uh. Okay.

A little announcement. I'm done.

Oh. You're done? W-Was it not... good?

Should I... go do a different job?

(sniffs) I'm done with the route.

I'm-I'm done rowing. I'm-I'm done with the boat.

I'm just done, done with that dream, thanks to you, Bob.

And I'll tell the reporter to quote me on that

because this Mold Man isn't going back to the sea.

- Wait. What?! - Uh...

(quietly): Dad, I think your burger just made him quit.

- Um, thanks, Gene. - No problem.

Huh...

Do you guys have any ketchup? Oh, there it is.

But, Quincy, you can't just be done with rowing.

You were gonna be the first solo rower to row the wool route.

I can't go back out there, Bob.

This burger's so good. Uh... I... Oh.

I-I... I just realized that I miss this too much.

I just want to live on land again,

eat good food and sleep in a bed

and see people and TV and department stores.

- Do people still drive cars? - The cool ones do.

Well, I've said it. I quit.

(laughs) That feels good.

Yes, it does.

No. No. No. No, it doesn't feel good.

Quincy, you can't just quit.

- Yes, I can. - No, you can't!

- Can, too! - I mean, he can.

- Well, he shouldn't. - Shouldn't he? Hmm?

I can't go back on that boat. It all makes sense now.

This burger's helped clear everything away.

- Way to go, Dad. - Wait.

Let's, uh, stop blaming the burger.

I mean, Quincy, you're-you're an inspiration to everyone.

- Well... - So you can't quit!

What about what you said earlier, Dad?

"It's okay to quit a thing"?

I remember when you said those super helpful words,

and I quietly judged you.

But Quincy is rowing across the world.

Gene was talking about origami club.

Gene could origami across the world.

I mean, a paper boat's probably not great, but...

Also, just saying, might not make

for the best newspaper article.

"Restaurant's Burger Makes Man Want

to Quit Inspirational Thing He Was Doing."

Oh, yeah. We don't want that article. Oh, God.

And the reporter's gonna be here any minute now. Oh, no.

- Bob, Bob, come here. - Okay.

Uh, be right back, Just having a land talk. (laughs)

That poor guy is delirious.

He doesn't know what he's saying. Here's the thing.

I would quit, too. I don't get rowing by yourself

across the ocean, but you do.

You were talking about it like

he was floating around in a Rolls frickin' Royce.

So you're the guy who should convince him

to get back in that boat.

And hopefully, really quick, before the reporter gets here.

It'll be a good example for Gene, too.

I mean, I was trying, but I can try more, I guess.

Maybe I'll think smarter things now

with the same brain I had before?

See? You're already doing it.

Um, did you... meet any cool dolphins,

or hit it off with any whales?

- Well, there was this one bird. - Was it a crane?

- No. - Good.

But he turned out to be a bit of a jerk.

Um... so...

- (whispering): Do it. - (whispering): I'm doing it.

Do it faster.

So, Quincy, I-I... I'm not good at maps,

but just to say it, it seems like

you're really close to the end of your journey.

I think Nova Scotia is what, just, like,

another thousand-ish miles away?

Aah! A month! Millions of these.

(grunting)

That's a fun motion to do a lot of.

And you've come so far.

Also, land is not that great.

Land doesn't have a cozy cabin, no desalination system.

Just stupid regular water that doesn't even have salt in it.

But, Quincy, you look like

you're having so much fun on your website.

- It made me want to do it. - Oh, that's editing.

There's hours and hours of footage

of me getting rolled over by the waves,

vomiting on myself.

Aah! (retching) Aah!

- That's what I'm smelling. - Ah. Oh, yeah.

And I don't think they posted the part

where I went totally insane.

You've never seen Footloose!

H-How do you know you don't like it?!

And all the crying. They cut that out, I bet?

(crying) Make it stop!

But, Quincy, what you're doing affects a lot of other people

'cause they see you do this,

and they do their own version of rowing a boat around the world.

Be it a paper-folding related activity or whatever.

- GENE: Mm. - Yeah, that's right.

People need stuff like that.

Y-You inspired me to watch all your videos

- and to go for my dreams. - Nice.

(sighs) I should tell my publicist I'm quitting.

Oh, she's gonna be very upset. She works so hard.

Well, I don't know why I said she works hard.

Maybe she works just the normal amount.

I've never actually met her, but she will be upset.

I mean, maybe just, you know, take some time,

rest, recharge, finish your burger.

My burger. My sweet, sweet Land Burger! Land!

Oh, I mean, uh, forget the burger.

Maybe focus on the fries?

And the reporter's gonna come, and this whole

"I want to quit" thing will feel like just a blip.

You just capsized for a minute.

But our anti-capsizing technology--

meaning this pep talk-- put us right back up again.

Aah, the capsizing!

- Bob. - Not capsizing. Forget I said that.

I'm just very emotional right now.

And my muscles are seizing up. Aah!

- Because they miss the ocean! - You think?

Yes! You got to finish. Do it for...

this sweet little boy. Look at this face.

And he needs something to inspire him.

No, I don't. Don't do it for me.

(muffled): Mm, mm, mm.

And he's so excited about you finishing.

Linda, I-I think you're smothering him.

In so many ways.

Now he's chewing on your fingers.

- (muffled gnawing) - Gene, stop. Gene, stop! Gene!

All right, all right. People are counting on me.

(sighs) I can do it. I can do it!

I think I can do it.

Just turn off the part of my brain that feels pain.

And sadness and fear.

And loneliness and hunger and vomit.

Good for you!

(quietly): He's back in. Little delicate.

If we don't bring up the tough stuff, maybe he'll be okay.

Hi, I'm Ralph. I'm from the paper.

I think we've met before.

- Oh, uh, yeah. - Hi!

And you must be Quincy Cox.

I cannot believe what you put yourself through out there.

So dangerous, so isolated.

No one in their right mind would do what you're doing,

but you're doing it! Amazing!

- Hmm. - Hmm. - RALPH: Okay.

Let's get crack-a-lackin'.

My first question.

What are the ten worst things that happened to you out there?

- (Quincy speaks gibberish) - Oh, boy. - Oh, no.

- (Quincy groans) - Can I bring anyone a water?

Salted or unsalted?

Oh. Are we doing this in the booth?

And are we doing it lying down? What are we doing?

- (Quincy moaning) - He's fine. He's doing great.

Why-why don't I bring the burger over

and see if we can get Quincy to sit up?

And... maybe stop crying?

(whispering): This is bad.

Uh, maybe we could do a nice picture

before we get to the questions?

Quincy, I'm gonna reach down and try to help you sit up,

'cause you seem like you might need a little...

- (groaning): help. - Bob, your back.

- I know. - Your back.

- (camera shutter clicking) - (groans) He's just so tired.

Yeah, yeah, so much rowing.

Gene, go underneath, go on the other side

and push from there.

Or we just let him do his own thing?

- Gene, go! - Okay!

- (Gene grunts softly) - (Quincy moaning)

- (Gene grunting) - (camera shutter clicking)

- There we go. - Oh. Oh.

I'm scared to let go of this hand.

Put-put his other hand on the burger.

Quincy, I'm gonna put your hand on the burger now.

- Okay, totally normal. - (Quincy groaning)

Now let's let go so we can take the picture.

- There we go. - (Gene gasps) - Oh...

Try again! Try again!

Louise, go get a box from the basement.

We'll prop him up. Gene, duck out of the shot.

You guys are focusing on the wrong thing.

What do we do about the tear-stained cheeks

and the dead eyes?

Oh, that's just how humans look. We photoshop it all the time.

- (phone buzzing) - Aah. Uh-oh.

Have you been selected for a survey?

My publicist says I pulled up on the wrong beach.

Oh. I was wondering why there was no one there to greet me.

It's nice to be greeted, you know. Nice greeting.

- (phone buzzing) - Oh. Yup, sounds like

I didn't go to the right dock.

I was supposed to go to the dock north of the amusement park.

- Oh, so what dock did you go to? - The beach.

You just pulled up on the beach and walked here?

- Yeah, I was very hungry. - (phone buzzing)

Ooh, sounds like I have to move the boat now,

or they're gonna take it away.

- What? Like, tow it? - Oh, you know what?

Just let 'em take it. They can take the whole thing.

Just... It's garbage! Put it in the garbage!

Set it on fire, I don't care! Hit-hit it with a stick!

Um, here's a question. Won't it make it hard

to row without your rowboat?

- Great question. - I don't even want to row anymore.

- Oh, he's just, uh... - Oh, I don't know that's where you want

- to start with the question. - Oh, there's your picture.

- Take it now. - Maybe do some background stuff.

- Take it now. Look at him. - Uh, ask him about the bird.

Where? Wh-Where's the bird?

- He just loves that bird. - (phone buzzing)

Oh, gosh, everyone's so upset.

"Put... it... in... the garbage!"

Quincy! Quincy, you stay here and do the interview--

more like we talked about before--

and I'll go down and help them stop towing your boat.

This would all be so easy if you'd just let him quit.

- Gene, go with your father! - Mm, fine.

- (Gene grunting) - Easy, easy.

Okay, good luck. I'll-I'll call you from the beach.

Let's go back to my first question.

- Ten worst things out there. - (Linda grunts)

No! No, no, no, no. No touching that.

Oh, I didn't even know I did that.

- Maybe you didn't. - Yeah, maybe I didn't.

- No, you did. - Who can say?

No boats on the beach. Move the boat or lose the boat.

Officer, please. This is Quincy Cox's solo rowboat,

and it's kind of a big deal.

I-I know it seems like he just left it here on the beach,

but that's 'cause he's very tired,

because he rowed thousands and thousands of miles by himself,

and people around the world are following him on his website.

Uh, do I have reception here?

I-I was gonna show you the website, Officer.

We-we could, you know, watch the video.

But I don't have reception.

Also, you know, it wouldn't look great on my phone.

But can you kind of picture everything I'm saying?

- No. - Dad, say everything again,

but this time, cup his face in your hands.

- Are you close? - MAN (over radio): Yeah.

Go ahead and get it out of here.

- Take it away. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I don't want to talk about rowing.

I don't want to talk about rowing!

Okay, that's a neat way to do this interview,

but let me just ask another question.

- (whimpering) - When you're done making that noise,

I'd love to ask you,

how do you go to the bathroom on the boat?

Everybody wants to know that.

- It must be so gross. - (Linda grunts) - (click)

Sorry. Did you just turn off my recorder again?

No, no. T-Tina, did you?

- No. - Louise?

Like, with my mind? No.

Huh. Did you check the batteries?

Maybe it's the batteries.

Should we smash it to check the batteries?

- Let's smash it. - No, no, no!

You are being so weird about that recorder.

Okay, okay, listen, there's a dock north of the wharf.

We just have to get it there.

Okay. Then do it. Get it there.

- Wait. Me do it? - You do it.

Or we tow it and impound it.

Okay. I'm gonna... I'm gonna do it.

I'll just get in and row the boat

around the wharf... in the ocean.

Too bad it's not a stream.

'Cause then we could do the "gently down it" part.

The "merrily" part, too, would be nice.

I actually don't know where you're gonna sit, Gene.

- How about there? (grunts) - I think that's where

- my legs go, but-but sure. - (grunts)

Oh, shoes are wet. Shoes and socks.

I wish I had taken them off before doing this.

Bye-Bye, Officer Man!

Tell everyone we know we love them!

- What? - Nothing!

Okay. Gene, um, take my phone and text your mother

that we're making great decisions,

and not to worry, but we are in... the ocean.

I'll just say, "In ocean. Very, very safe.

Just remember the good times."

Gene, we're gonna be fine.

I just... I don't know where the paddles are.

Oh, got 'em, found 'em.

Oh, dropped one. That's not good.

But they float. That's... smart.

Okay, I got it. I got it back. (grunts)

Uh, take me back to shore, please.

We're still at shore. We haven't moved.

- Oh. - Oh, my God.

I'm rowing Quincy Cox's boat.

Oh, my God. I have no idea how to row Quincy Cox's boat.

I won't even mention that you're sitting backwards.

- What? No, I'm not. - Shh, shh, shh.

It's fine. Don't worry about it.

Okay, we-we got past the crashy, wavy part,

and now we're onto the rocky, wavy part.

And I remember when I thought it would be really cool

to be on this boat, but now, I feel a little differently

because this is... really... difficult.

- It's not that hard. - Uh-huh.

- Oh, Gene, put that on. - What is it? A neck pillow?

- No, it's a life jacket, I think. - How do I put it on?

I don't understand

this new-fangled life vest technology!

All right, just hold it. And if the boat flips over,

hold it really tightly.

The fear in your voice makes me feel great about this.

(Quincy snoring)

Um, did he just fall asleep during my interview?

Yeah, but I think you got what you need.

- I got no answers. - That's not true.

When you asked him that question

about how he goes to the bathroom, he said...

- (makes whimpering sounds) - No, that doesn't count.

And I didn't even get a good picture.

We can solve that problem right now.

- Curl, do your stuff. And shoot. - (phone buzzing)

"In ocean. Talk soon." What the hell does that mean?

Oh, my God! Bob's rowing the boat!

- What?! - (gasps) I quit!

- What?! - Bob's rowing your boat!

Is that a bad thing? That seems like a bad thing!

Uh, you know, it's not recommended.

It can be a little squirrelly

if you haven't been rowing for 11 months.

- How-how is he with capsizing? - Aah!

Probably not great.

Counterpoint: He loves it.

- Okay, we're going down there. - Yeah, we are.

And, Quincy, maybe you can tell me more

about that whole quitting thing on the way.

Oh, you just fell down.

- I'm up. I'm up. I'm back up. - No.

- Oh, am I not? - Everyone, pick him up.

Let's go. Get him. Everyone take a side.

- (Quincy grunts) - Up, up, up.

Ah, yep. Oof. I'm halfway up.

I can't see where we're going.

Can you see where we're going?

- No. I mostly see your stomach. - Aah.

We're fine. I mean, how much ocean can there be?

Well, I hope the dock we're trying to get to is...

getting closer to us?

That would be a fun coincidence.

Oh, there they are! Way out there!

- Are you okay?! - Aah. Aah! It's your mom.

- Why are you rowing?! - I think she's saying

we're doing a great job?

And did she say I'm doing especially good

at sitting in the bottom of the boat?

I mean, I guess it's obvious.

So, while we've got a minute, tell me more

about the "I quit" thing that you said before.

Too hard, right? Too hard out there? Way too hard for you?

The sea broke you down. Is that the story I'm writing?

That's the story I'm writing, right?

- (Bob groaning) - Oh, he's really struggling.

He's not doing well, is he?

Is something wrong with his arms? And his body?

There's nothing wrong with his arms and his body.

Well, there's some things wrong with his body, Mom.

He's trying to save your boat

because you were having a freakout in our restaurant.

It's just... Wow.

Seeing someone else in my boat

is making me feel kind of possessive.

I don't like it. I feel like I should be doing that.

Yes, yes, you should!

I mean, I wouldn't be doing it anything like that.

That is so inefficient.

Yeah, I'm having second thoughts about the quitting.

Um... I'm kind of liking the quitting story.

Yeah, I'm having regrets about my earlier thoughts.

Well, I'm the one writing the piece.

Well, I'm the one withdrawing my statement!

Hey, you two, we got to move!

But, I mean, not that fast? 'Cause look at 'em.

Yeah, we'll definitely get there before them.

- So, hot dog? - Yeah, I-I could eat a hot dog.

Oh, yeah. A picture of you, with the ocean behind you,

eating a hot dog-- that would be great!

LINDA: No! No, burger!

Burger, burger, burger for you!

No hot dogs.

(groans) My chest is on fire.

And so are my arms. Ugh. And my toes.

Am I buff? Did I just get into shape?

That sounds right. Me, too, probably?

But... this is very hard.

I get wanting to quit.

See? Just like origami club.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

Hey! There's the dock... somehow.

But on the other hand, Gene,

I think what your mom is worried about is

that if you quit too much stuff, you might get used to it.

And then, you might quit, like, everything

that's even a little bit hard,

and you'll never challenge yourself.

You're taking origami Mommy's side on this?

Well, you know, she's smart.

And I... I think that what she was getting at--

which I didn't see then, but I see now,

because, you know, I'm a different person now,

because, you know, the ocean changes you--

is pretty much everything that's worth doing is hard.

(grunts) And if you quit things when they get hard,

you may never get to the good part.

Ah, fine. I'll give origami club another chance.

- Really? - I do kind of want to do that frog.

His legs move.

(grunts) Sounds hard.

- True. - But... so is this. (grunts)

You know, in case you were wondering

while you just sit there.

I wasn't wondering because you've said it so many times.

Do you want me to take a turn?

- Oh, we're here. - Bobby, yay!

My hero! You made it!

Sort of. I mean, the oars are backwards.

- Are you all eating hot dogs? - No.

- Wait'll you see the picture, Dad. - What?!

LINDA: He finished!

Good for him.

He looks tired. Kind of scrawny.

His skin's a strange color, too.

Oh, and his lips are peeling off.

- Gross. But he's smilin'! - I'm puttin' it up.

GENE: Don't mess up my frog!

♪ ♪

♪ Can't quit, not quitting ya, baby ♪

♪ Can't quit, not quitting ya, baby ♪

♪ I thought of quitting ya maybe ♪

♪ But I can't quit, not quitting ya, baby ♪

QUINCY: Your solar panels, oh, yeah.

They charge your batteries.

Big batteries.

Those power your navigation system.

Me and you, boat, we're never get lost.

♪ Can't quit, not quitting ya, baby ♪

♪ Can't quit, not quitting ya, baby ♪

♪ I thought of quitting ya maybe ♪

♪ But I can't quit, not quitting ya, baby ♪

Your desalination tank

pumping out clean water to drink.

Makes me so thirsty, hydration.

Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT

and TOYOTA.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0