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1
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:07,007
If you're gonna make me
pick you up,
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,095
I expect coffee.
3
00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:10,836
There'll be one waiting
for you tomorrow.
4
00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:11,794
Any other requests?
5
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,448
Yeah.
Get your car fixed.
6
00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:17,321
I'm gonna win you over, bro.
It's gonna happen.
7
00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:20,672
Calling me "bro" shows the depth
of your miscalculation.
8
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:22,413
Truck 12.
9
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,676
Report of a small animal in
the attic at 187 South Kenzie.
10
00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:25,808
Truck 12 responding.
11
00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:31,335
Four play dates, a Spiderman
birthday party,
12
00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:34,121
two trips to urgent care...
and my parents are in town.
13
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:35,687
Let's just go ahead and say
that they have opinions.
14
00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:37,124
How was your weekend?
15
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,125
- Yeah, pretty good.
- Mmhmm.
16
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,475
I went to a club.
There were definitely drugs.
17
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:43,304
I woke up naked on some boat
near Whitby Island.
18
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:44,479
What about the other people
on the boat?
19
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:45,828
Also naked, yeah.
20
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:46,829
Right.
21
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:49,092
Look, it's not personal.
22
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,355
I'm just a lone wolf type
of guy.
23
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:54,837
All last year I had no partner
and it was... heaven.
24
00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:58,493
And this is so much worse.
25
00:00:58,493 --> 00:00:59,624
So, I guess it is personal.
26
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,150
- Hey.
- Mmhmm.
27
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:05,500
I'm thinking of getting
a puppy.
28
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,849
Look at her, Little Mabel.
29
00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:07,937
Why would you do that?
30
00:01:08,111 --> 00:01:09,069
You have all the freedom
in the world.
31
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,070
Yeah, but I envy you sometimes.
32
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,158
I live alone.
33
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:12,463
It might be nice
to have a dog around.
34
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,074
Well, I have two.
You could just have one.
35
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,553
One of them's incontinent
36
00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:17,729
for that extra feeling of
agonizing responsibility.
37
00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:18,861
If that's what
you're looking for.
38
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,516
Maybe I'll just get a bird.
39
00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:24,127
Get a bird. Get a bird.
40
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,173
Alright. You wait here.
41
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:28,436
There's a good coffee place
up the block.
42
00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:31,395
Rookie always pays.
43
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:35,225
Oh. Yeah. Hazing recognized
and accepted.
44
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:38,881
So I'll take a cara...
45
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,106
What's up?
46
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:47,846
Are you coming in?
47
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:50,545
Oh yeah, for sure. It's just...
just gonna be one minute.
48
00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:51,937
I think my partner
will be right back.
49
00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:53,504
I don't have a minute.
50
00:01:53,591 --> 00:01:54,766
It's my 10th anniversary and
I surprised my wife with brunch
51
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,116
and whatever's up there
is killing the mood.
52
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,726
Whew!
53
00:01:57,726 --> 00:01:59,989
Listen, man.
It's my first week.
54
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,947
I should really wait for backup.
You know what I mean?
55
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,124
Come on. My wife's libido
is very delicate.
56
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,126
Help a guy out.
57
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:11,783
Yeah, so my name's Fred
but everyone calls me Shred
58
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:14,221
'cause I used to be a
professional snowboarder,
59
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,875
mostly half-pipe,
a couple silvers at Nationals.
60
00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,138
And then I tore my ACL.
61
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,748
How long is this gonna take?
62
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:20,923
Not long at all.
63
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,230
If I had to guess...
64
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,145
it's probably just a sweet
little guy who...
65
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,586
My eye!
Your walkie went into my eye!
66
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:33,457
I'm sorry, it's just...
67
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:36,895
The teeth, it's like a tiny...
furry vampire.
68
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:37,809
I underestimated...
69
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:43,989
Under... under the ottoman.
70
00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:46,166
Okay. Everyone stay calm.
71
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:47,602
I got this.
72
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:51,432
It's okay weasel...
or whatever you are.
73
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:54,043
We're gonna take you to
the coolest park in the city
74
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:56,698
and these people are
gonna celebrate.
75
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:57,742
Dude! Dude!
76
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:00,528
Bad choice.
77
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:02,704
What do we do?
78
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:06,751
Oh, little buddy.
79
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:09,754
I got this.
80
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:11,800
- Oh!
- Oh!
81
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:12,975
Oh, come on!
82
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,326
Go, go! Right here!
83
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,504
We're not catching a break here.
84
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:23,638
Ohhhh! It's under
the stuffed couch!
85
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:24,769
You gotta be kidding me.
86
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:28,338
Okay. Don't worry.
I got this. I got it.
87
00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,313
On a scale of 1 to 10,
88
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,228
how would you rate
our service today?
89
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,089
I made muffins.
90
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:25,569
Uh-oh. You want something.
91
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:27,876
What? No. Do you guys think
I do that?
92
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:29,356
Like I only bake
when I want something?
93
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,009
Aw, these muffs are
fresh out of the oven.
94
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,576
This is gonna be horrible.
95
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:34,361
No!
96
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,885
Yeah, I feel bad
but I need volunteers
97
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,930
to clean the kennels
this weekend.
98
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,932
There are nine dogs
at Giardia.
99
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:42,282
Whoever does it's gonna need
one of those counselors
100
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,544
they send to mass
shooting scenes.
101
00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:45,720
I nominate Frank
given the weasel debacle.
102
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,243
He's the senior officer.
103
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:49,941
Yeah. Frank, I just got an
earful from the superintendent.
104
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:50,942
I was getting coffee.
105
00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,118
I'm guilty of negligence,
not incompetence.
106
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,381
It's a lower crime.
107
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:56,296
Came to gloat about
the weasel barbecue.
108
00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:58,472
You're here to enjoy
my misfortune,
109
00:04:58,559 --> 00:04:59,951
which is a taunt,
not a gloat.
110
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,171
Always an education
when you talk to Frank.
111
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,391
You're a rube.
Do you know what that is?
112
00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:06,915
Rumor is, couple filed
a complaint
113
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,395
that'll require damage control.
114
00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:11,615
I'm offering my services, Emily,
'cause I know you get
115
00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:14,966
a little nervous and sweaty
in high-stress situations.
116
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,403
Uh, no, no.
117
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,753
I have everything
under control, Templeton.
118
00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:21,930
Well, when you don't,
I'll come back to gloat.
119
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:23,192
Did I get that right, Frank?
120
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:24,324
No, that was a threat.
121
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,761
Ah... whatever.
Word nerd.
122
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:27,936
Okay.
123
00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,633
I'm gonna go change into a shirt
124
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,766
that's dark enough to hide
my nervous pit stains.
125
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:34,377
And right away I'm gonna
go ahead and apologize
126
00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:35,900
for sharing that information.
127
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,903
Muffins... are over here.
128
00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,428
Why's that guy so mean
to Emily?
129
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:44,605
He works at a rival precinct,
and he's gunning for her job.
130
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:46,650
Yeah, she's not really suited
to a leadership position,
131
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,130
but we have to make sure
she doesn't get fired
132
00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:49,436
'cause she's really nice.
133
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,612
And she's easy to manipulate
which is why we're
134
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,354
the only precinct with a
top-of-the-line Panini Press.
135
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:58,009
Mmm. Spectacular.
136
00:05:58,009 --> 00:06:00,011
We got written up
in Bon Appetit.
137
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:01,970
Okay, here's a novel idea.
138
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:04,451
Try standing closer to the
toilet and actually aiming
139
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,453
so the pee goes in the bowl
and not on the floor.
140
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,019
That's a terrible idea
for a novel.
141
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:11,240
I will be instituting
a key system.
142
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,024
So if you have to pee,
you come see Dee,
143
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:14,374
there'll be a sign-in sheet
on my desk.
144
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,027
Not gonna do that.
145
00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:17,812
Frank! Frank!
146
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:18,813
Frank!
147
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:21,032
Listen, I'll talk to Emily
and take the heat
148
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,338
for the weasel thing.
149
00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:24,035
Okay? I'll clean the kennels,
it's only right.
150
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:25,472
That would be stupid of you.
151
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:26,690
It's what partners do, right?
152
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:29,476
Look, I'm gonna be up front.
My plan is to get rid of you.
153
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:31,042
And with the way
bureaucracy works,
154
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,827
it'll take about six months
to fill your seat.
155
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,830
So that's gonna be
all lone wolfy time.
156
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:40,704
Hey, we talked about
the howling!
157
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:43,272
Sorry Emily. How's that
espresso machine coming?
158
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:44,404
Oh, yeah. I ordered it.
159
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:46,275
Oh, you are the best!
160
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,407
It's coming
from Milan.
161
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:48,930
You don't fool me, Frank.
162
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:52,150
Underneath that crusty exterior
is a soft, chewy center.
163
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:53,717
Mmm... no.
164
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,197
Yeah. He's not that kinda
cookie, kid.
165
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,372
What do you mean?
166
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:59,723
Look, and you didn't hear
this from us,
167
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:03,248
Frank used to be a cop but then
he uncovered some corruption,
168
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,425
and instead of cleaning it up,
they fired him.
169
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,427
Whoa. That's heavy.
170
00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,212
Greenview Meadow Preschool.
171
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,735
Oh, God in heaven, no.
172
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,215
There's no way this isn't
something awful.
173
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:16,305
Hello? Yeah.
174
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:17,741
Danny won't poop
in school again.
175
00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,221
He's like me, he gets nervous
at away games.
176
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:20,440
Aww, poor sausage.
177
00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,093
Yeah, go ahead and put him on.
178
00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:24,444
Hey buddy, it's okay, listen.
179
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,793
Just like we do at home, okay?
180
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:29,318
♪ I know what to do...
181
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:31,451
♪ when I'm about to poo...
182
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,453
♪ I go to the potty,
183
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,890
♪ pull my underwear down...
184
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:38,240
♪ And I sit and wait...
185
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,895
♪ I sit and wait...
186
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:44,899
♪ I sit and wait until
the poop falls down. ♪
187
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:49,730
♪ Then I wipe and wipe,
'till brown leaves town, ♪
188
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:53,255
♪ I put it in the potty
and I flush it down. ♪
189
00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:54,256
Whooo!
190
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:55,344
Banger!
191
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:57,346
Wow, sounds like you had
quite a bit.
192
00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:59,130
I'm proud of you,
my little soldier.
193
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:00,436
Way to go, Danny!
194
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:02,612
Okay. Alright. Bye.
195
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,135
Hi.
196
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:05,572
I could use some help getting
a mastiff on the table.
197
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:06,268
- No problem.
- Yes! I'll... I'll help.
198
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:07,269
Absolutely.
199
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:10,577
Hey... you're Shred, right?
200
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:13,362
Hey. Oh yeah, hi.
Nice to meet you.
201
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,451
Are you the, um... hot vet?
202
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:16,931
No, we say that behind
her back.
203
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,149
Yeah.
204
00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:20,369
Oh God, I'm so sorry if
that came off disrespectful.
205
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:23,503
I'll retract it and say
you're in no way hot.
206
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:26,244
Doctor Summers.
207
00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:29,596
I don't wanna embarrass you
but I'm a huge winter sports fan
208
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,946
and I saw you at the X Games
in Whistler.
209
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,469
- 2019.
- Yeah.
210
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:34,514
Against The Goose.
211
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,037
- Oh, so good!
- She's a fan.
212
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,952
You did that backside
right in front of me.
213
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:38,953
She's a fan.
214
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:40,171
They've been replaying it
on ESPN Classics.
215
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,957
Every time I watch it, I think
I'm not gonna stick the landing
216
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:43,740
and then I do...
217
00:08:43,958 --> 00:08:45,873
and it kinda blows my mind
all over again.
218
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:47,178
So good.
219
00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:48,615
Anyway, sorry.
You needed help with something?
220
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,181
Uh, yeah that'd be great.
Come on.
221
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:51,618
Yeah. Sure. Yeah.
222
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:55,186
No. No. He does not get
to just sashay in here
223
00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:56,144
and have sex with someone
224
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:58,407
we've all been trying to nail
for years.
225
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,540
Yeah, he has to get in line
and wait like everybody else.
226
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,063
Low rent Shawn White.
227
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,544
Yo. Delores...
228
00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:06,067
I need the key.
229
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,285
Name and time.
230
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,905
Connie Lingus?
231
00:09:18,993 --> 00:09:19,863
Real mature!
232
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:26,740
You know what
Mark Twain said?
233
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:29,438
I'm not 100 percent
on who Mark Twain is.
234
00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,005
That's a whole other
conversation now.
235
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:33,224
He said if you pick up
a starving dog
236
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:35,662
and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you.
237
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:39,230
This is the principal difference
between a dog and a man.
238
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:40,667
Is this about the hot vet?
239
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,451
Yeah, of course
it's about the hot vet.
240
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:43,844
I've been laying the groundwork
for years.
241
00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:46,542
Do you know how many vaccination
clinics I've volunteered for?
242
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,109
A lot of vaccination clinics.
243
00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:50,590
I've eradicated entire diseases
in pursuit of that woman.
244
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,417
But dude, I'm not, like,
a threat.
245
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:53,680
I have a girlfriend.
246
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,334
She's a snowboarder,
she's from Spain
247
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:59,686
and if you'd asked me even
one question you'd know that.
248
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,426
I'm not gonna lie,
that's a bit of a relief.
249
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:04,038
Yeah, and if I was gonna dip
my toe into the work pool,
250
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,474
it wouldn't be the hot vet.
251
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,389
Well, not Victoria.
I got dibs there too.
252
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:10,697
No. Emily. The boss lady.
253
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:13,221
She's just so clumsy and
uncomfortable in her own body.
254
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:15,702
I guess I just dig
an awkward chick.
255
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,704
This is a texture I didn't know
you had.
256
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:20,489
You see, this partnership...
it's blossoming.
257
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:24,275
Oh, and I Googled wolves.
They run in packs.
258
00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:25,494
Well, except the lone ones.
259
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:26,408
Otherwise they would
just be wolves.
260
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:27,931
And you had to Google that?
261
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:30,064
There's no shame in admitting
gaps in knowledge.
262
00:10:30,238 --> 00:10:31,935
Unrelated but also interesting...
263
00:10:31,935 --> 00:10:34,503
did you know snails can have sex
with themselves?
264
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:36,940
Truck 12,
neighbor complaint.
265
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:39,421
Unlicensed ostrich farm.
360 North Harding.
266
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,075
Truck 12 responding.
267
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,772
Ostriches. I love this job.
268
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,307
Hi, I'm Emily Price
from animal con-
269
00:10:56,481 --> 00:10:59,441
Wow, that is worse
than I thought.
270
00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,226
I brought muffins.
271
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:08,102
Hey.
272
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:09,669
Officers on the scene
with loaded snausages.
273
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:15,109
Never gets old, Tom.
What have we got here?
274
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:16,763
Waiting for the coroner.
275
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,678
The guy's been dead three days
and no one knew it.
276
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,027
His dog never left his side.
277
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:22,638
We'll find him a good home.
278
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:28,339
Three days.
Can you imagine?
279
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,690
Three days without anybody
knowing where I was.
280
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,042
I'd kill for that.
281
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:38,698
Hey. Hey, it's gonna be okay.
282
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:43,485
Charlie. He's so cute!
283
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:52,581
Whoa.
Those are some tall birds.
284
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:54,583
Yeah, and their eyes are bigger
than their brains,
285
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,150
so you should feel
right at home.
286
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:57,586
Your ribbing feels affectionate.
287
00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,023
And I know you're going
for more emotional distance.
288
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:02,722
Hey, your shirt's sticking out.
Let me fix it.
289
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:05,159
There you go, now
you look respectable.
290
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,770
Look at you taking care
of your partner.
291
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:09,729
Bonding alert.
Calling all units.
292
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,991
Alright, calm down.
293
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:13,167
Ma'am, hi. City of Seattle
Animal Control.
294
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,777
Is it alright if we enter?
295
00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:15,865
Make sure to close the gate.
296
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,520
Did my stupid neighbor
call you?
297
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:21,392
What's going on here?
298
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:24,004
You making belts or selling
their meat?
299
00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:25,614
I sell the eggs at
the Farmer's Market.
300
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:26,789
Well, you're gonna need
a license
301
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,182
from the Zoning Commission.
302
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,750
Uh... these guys like me.
303
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,099
Everyone likes you, Shred.
304
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,406
Should I be concerned?
305
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,147
Well, that's really up to you.
306
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:41,195
They are violent and strong and
have famously bad temperaments.
307
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,588
Oh, and as you can see
they're really fast.
308
00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,634
So I would kick it up a gear
if I were you.
309
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:48,637
In the meantime, I'll just be
writing this citation.
310
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:52,075
It's bad, Frank!
They won't stop.
311
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,643
It's starting to feel
extremely targeted!
312
00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:58,081
Yeah. Well, they either
see you as a food source
or a potential mate.
313
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,736
Either way, I would just
let nature take its course.
314
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:01,868
They're relentless!
315
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,218
But don't worry,
I'm getting all of it.
316
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:07,787
Look at 'em move.
317
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:11,573
These muffins are delicious.
You have to give me the recipe.
318
00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:12,879
Oh, I will.
319
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:13,880
And you know what?
They're healthy too.
320
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,795
Everyone in my office
has some kind of allergy
321
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,406
so I can never bake
anything fun.
322
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:21,670
Look, we agree.
323
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,803
We don't wanna turn this
into a big legal thing.
324
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:24,804
Great. Great.
325
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,414
And... and you have my word,
326
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,808
the City will pay
for everything.
327
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,548
Okay.
328
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,115
If you'll just excuse me, I'm
just gonna let somebody know.
329
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,164
Emily said they're not
going to sue
330
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:41,472
and sent a pile of poop emoji...
and a middle finger emoji.
331
00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:42,778
Whatever.
332
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,825
Alright... I won't take up
anymore of your time.
333
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:46,956
Thank you both.
334
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:51,700
You didn't use sesame oil
in these, did you?
335
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,441
You know what, I did.
336
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,791
I find it just gives it, like,
a little tang.
337
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,619
Oh God.
338
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:58,402
I'll get the EpiPen.
339
00:13:58,576 --> 00:13:59,490
Thank you.
340
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:00,840
Wait, wait...
what's happening?
341
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,493
Call 911.
342
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:03,407
Right now?
343
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,714
No! Oh, no!
344
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:06,671
Knock it off.
345
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:09,152
This is not fun for me.
This is not fun.
346
00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:10,284
I've never seen them
like this.
347
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,807
Little help here, Frank.
348
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:14,288
Man, they must, uh... smell
something on your clothes.
349
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,942
What kinda detergent do you use?
350
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:18,422
Tide liquid pods.
They get out anything.
351
00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:19,859
Maybe lose the shirt?
352
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,990
Oh, oh yeah.
353
00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:25,865
That is pretty
disrespectful to the uniform.
354
00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:28,302
But you gotta do
what you gotta do.
355
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:31,653
Hmm.
It's gotta be the pants.
356
00:14:31,827 --> 00:14:33,655
- The pants.
- Yeah.
357
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,878
This is the weirdest strip show
I've ever seen.
358
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,618
And I've seen a number of them.
359
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,758
Is that your beef stick?
360
00:14:49,758 --> 00:14:52,761
In my defense, uh, I didn't
think it would work that well.
361
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,329
Uncool, bro. Really Uncool!
362
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:56,983
And I'm sorry to raise my voice
right now
363
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:58,767
but I'm pretty high up
in this tree
364
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:00,334
and you crossed a line, brother!
365
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,336
They could've taken my penis,
Frank!
366
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:05,992
Yeah, but they didn't and that's
what makes it funny.
367
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,342
Dude, I know that the police
department screwed you over
368
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:10,997
and people let you down
but to learn nothing from that
369
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:14,522
except to be a jerk, that just
makes you a douche, dude.
370
00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:16,002
You're missing all the nuance.
371
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:19,005
I'm a douche for a lot
of complicated reasons.
372
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,790
Dude, I blew out my knee three
months before the Olympics.
373
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,184
But I didn't let it make me
hate the world.
374
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:27,187
We all have a choice in life
and I chose to stay positive.
375
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:28,884
Well, that just makes me
question your judgment.
376
00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,233
Well you'll be proud to know
377
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,932
I'm feeling pretty negative
right now, Frank!
378
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,718
You have a ticket for 600 bucks,
by the way.
379
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,720
- Can I pay you in eggs?
- No.
380
00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:41,723
Yeah, come in.
381
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,814
I'd like to request
a transfer.
382
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:47,598
My senior officer,
by word and action,
383
00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:50,036
has made it clear that
he doesn't want me around.
384
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,951
Despite the rumors,
I'm not a people person.
385
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,388
Really? Are you sure?
386
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,390
I'd have to move you to central
387
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,914
and Templeton has
the only free truck.
388
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:01,525
Yes.
389
00:16:01,525 --> 00:16:02,700
You heard the man.
390
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:07,618
Templeton.
You'd really do that to Shred?
391
00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:08,619
He'll be fine.
392
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:11,274
He'll be happy in literally
any situation.
393
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:14,277
Which is the very trait that
makes him challenging for me.
394
00:16:14,277 --> 00:16:15,975
Well, what if you viewed it
as a growth opportunity?
395
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:17,672
I'm not looking for growth.
396
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:19,630
If growth wants me bad enough,
it knows where to find me.
397
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:21,850
Yeah. Alone in your apartment.
398
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:23,591
Where I am so content.
399
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:26,550
Now... can I interest you
in a chicken pesto panini?
400
00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:28,988
I wanna say no, but yeah.
401
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,293
Your heart is black
402
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,339
but you know how to make
a really good sandwich.
403
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:34,994
You guys making sandwiches?
404
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:36,778
Oh!
405
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,441
Hello? Who's there?
406
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:50,574
It's Shred. I forgot my coat, so...
407
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,272
- Hey.
- Hey.
408
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,448
Oh, I'm sorry how everything
worked out.
409
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:55,449
I love Frank
410
00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:58,017
but sometimes he can just be
too much like... Frank.
411
00:16:58,191 --> 00:16:59,757
Yeah.
412
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:01,890
I really thought I was gonna be
able to crack him, you know?
413
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:03,022
What are you still doing here?
414
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:05,328
Oh, we have a pet adoption
coming up
415
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:06,808
so I was just gonna get
these flyers out.
416
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:07,809
Cool.
417
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:10,986
You know, the thing about
snowboarding is
418
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,466
it's a solo sport.
419
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,641
Mmhmm.
420
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:14,859
Like, when you're on
the mountain
421
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,209
it's just you all alone.
422
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:18,124
When I got injured nobody
found me for two hours.
423
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,865
What, so the Saint Bernard thing
is a myth?
424
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:22,345
I'm the wrong guy to ask.
425
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:23,694
I still sorta believe
in Santa Claus.
426
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:25,609
What?
427
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:26,610
Oh.
428
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,003
Do you need a hand?
429
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:29,874
Um... yeah.
430
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:32,616
Sorry. Thanks.
I can just be a little clumsy.
431
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:34,009
I know.
432
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,315
You know, honestly...
433
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,491
I don't know that I'm cut out
for this job.
434
00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:41,495
I mean, I sent that poor guy
to the hospital today.
435
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:43,932
Yeah, but I almost burned down
his house
436
00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:45,847
and sent him to the hospital, so...
437
00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:48,937
That's true.
438
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:51,070
Oh, I'm gonna miss seeing you
around the precinct everyday.
439
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:52,419
Yeah, me too.
440
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:56,379
Um... but you know now that,
441
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:59,034
I mean, I'm not gonna
be your boss...
442
00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:01,123
Like, we wouldn't...
443
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,646
Sorry. Sorry.
It's my girlfriend.
444
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,170
Oh, my God. Ah...
445
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:07,173
- I should get this.
- Yeah, yes.
446
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:08,870
Hey babe.
I heard you got powder.
447
00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:16,095
What do you think, Charlie?
You like your new home?
448
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,052
Yeah?
449
00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:21,230
Hang on.
450
00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:39,205
♪ And I wipe and I wipe
'till the brown leaves town ♪
451
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:43,905
♪ Put it in the potty
and flush it down. ♪
452
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:52,218
♪ Bye bye poo.
453
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:54,437
Shred Taylor needs an 88
to get to on the podium.
454
00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:56,004
No way.
455
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:58,746
Here is another
look at his backside rodeo 540.
456
00:18:58,746 --> 00:19:01,705
Will it be enough to medal?
And here comes the score...
457
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:07,581
Oh! 87.3. Ugh, man, that is heartbreaking.
458
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:08,930
Shred Taylor finishes fourth.
459
00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:13,674
Look at this kid.
You'd never know he lost.
460
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:14,718
Gotta love him.
461
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:26,817
I'm not ready for a dog.
I need you to take Charlie.
462
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:30,038
No, no. I have my own two dogs.
I'm fine.
463
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,822
Oh my God, he's so cute!
464
00:19:31,822 --> 00:19:34,608
Oh, do you want him?
You guys love him.
465
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:35,609
You can have him.
466
00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:37,176
No, we're not taking the dog.
We don't need the dog.
467
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,483
Also... I can't take care
of this.
468
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,833
I don't need this.
I already have lots of plants.
469
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:43,834
I don't need more plants.
470
00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:45,184
No, don't go.
No, stop that dance.
471
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,837
Come back.
472
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,536
You're so cute.
473
00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:58,284
Some dopey looking guy
call for an Uber?
474
00:19:58,284 --> 00:19:59,981
I knew you'd show up... partner.
475
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,504
No, you didn't.
476
00:20:01,678 --> 00:20:03,202
And I'm getting rid of you as
soon as a decent rig opens up.
477
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,203
I hope you know that.
478
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,639
If I didn't know
you were coming,
479
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:09,077
how come I got us coffee?
480
00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:11,297
'Cause you were gonna
brownnose Templeton.
481
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:13,081
Whatever you need
to tell yourself, Frank.
482
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:15,083
But I always knew you were
a pack animal.
483
00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:17,520
Yesterday you didn't even know
what a pack animal was.
484
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,306
Oh! I also didn't know
that a newborn kangaroo
485
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:23,787
is the size of a lima bean.
- Okay.
486
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:27,661
Templeton.
487
00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:29,271
You didn't tell him
you were picking me up?
488
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,794
Nah. It was a game-time
decision.
489
00:20:34,102 --> 00:20:35,886
How would you feel about
mooning him?
490
00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:37,236
Very good.
491
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,063
But this will be two days
in a row
492
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:40,369
you've negotiated my pants off.
493
00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:41,370
Hmm.
494
00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:58,257
So you really filmed
the whole Templeton thing?
495
00:20:58,431 --> 00:20:59,693
Yes, I did.
496
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,351
- To hell with Templeton!
- Nice touch.
497
00:21:11,095 --> 00:21:12,271
Good to have you back.
498
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,794
Good to be back, boss.
499
00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:17,580
Holden Weiner?
Really guys?
500
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:19,843
It's actually Wy-ner.
I get that all the time.
501
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:23,151
I'm gonna need a signature
for the package.
502
00:21:23,151 --> 00:21:24,718
I think it's an espresso machine.
503
00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:26,372
Ooh! I'll take care of that.
504
00:21:26,546 --> 00:21:30,637
Thank you Mister Weiner.
Thank you so much.
505
00:21:30,637 --> 00:21:31,638
Wyner.
506
00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:35,076
I think she sprung
for the milk foamer.
507
00:21:35,076 --> 00:21:37,948
Emily, you are the best!
508
00:21:37,948 --> 00:21:39,385
I'm getting a wine fridge next.
35011
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