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1
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,676
Yo, I'ma need this shit
when I get signed to...
2
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,094
♪ Def Jam! ♪
3
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:13,639
See, Elektra really
believes in Dirty.
4
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:16,016
Everything that Def Jam
wouldn't give Dirty
5
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,977
on the backend, Elektra will,
and much more.
6
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,354
Take the Elektra deal.
7
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,439
It's all I ever wanted
to be was on Def Jam.
8
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:24,775
If you want to be treated differently,
9
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,151
you need to grow up.
10
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,736
Yo, Bobby,
we had to turn in that album,
11
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,112
like, two months ago.
12
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,364
Yo, how can
I even focus on tracks
13
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,616
if he won't even
talk to me, you know?
14
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,368
I'm sorry for signing you
to Elektra
15
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,702
before talking to you about it.
16
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,746
You can't be treating me
like no kid no more, son.
17
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,414
And you can't be out here
fucking around
18
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,083
when we got work to do.
19
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,334
I'm ready to work now.
20
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:59,768
All right, man.
This song right here?
21
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,395
I've been saving
this one, a'ight?
22
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:13,657
Yo.
It's been two fucking days.
23
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:16,535
Pick a fucking beat
already, cuz.
24
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,078
You ain't even fucking helped
on the mike yet.
25
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,997
You just sitting there
smoking, nodding,
26
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:22,332
and waving off my beats
and shit.
27
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:26,253
Hey, Elektra ain't accepting
no delays, you hear me?
28
00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,590
They gonna hold money from us
that they owe,
29
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:32,926
and they gonna sue us
for money we don't have.
30
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,053
You gotta start
laying down tracks, nigga.
31
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,055
Figure this shit out.
32
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:39,766
Your first album,
it's your whole life explained.
33
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,027
Yo, son.
34
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:51,528
Remember we used
to do that shit?
35
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,113
See how long we could last.
36
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,490
Yeah, yo.
That shit's still funny, nigga,
37
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,908
but it ain't helping us
right now.
38
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,493
You hear what I'm saying?
39
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:01,872
You gonna do that shit
on your album for an hour?
40
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,373
Down low.
41
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,334
We just listened
to that shit.
42
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:08,170
No. We heard it.
We didn't experience this.
43
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:10,797
We gotta get this album
done, a'ight?
44
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:11,840
This ain't something
that's just
45
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,467
gonna come out of nowhere.
46
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,303
If I do that,
it ain't gonna go nowhere, yo.
47
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:20,766
Like you said, this album
is my whole life explained.
48
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:24,436
I been listening to this shit
since I was five years old, yo.
49
00:02:24,436 --> 00:02:28,648
I'm not the poster boy Method
is or the wordsmith Genius is.
50
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:31,735
Yo, I'm me.
Ain't no father to my style.
51
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:34,321
Yo, when a album
got a sound like that,
52
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:39,159
it gotta be on some
unpredictable, grimy--
53
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,787
yo, dirt dog, grimy shit, yo.
54
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:47,042
Yo, we gotta hop into
our creative chamber, Abbott.
55
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:50,337
We gotta--we gotta do shit
we used to do when we was kids.
56
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:53,548
Hmm.
- We wasn't afraid to laugh,
57
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:57,219
but still bust a nigga's ass.
58
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,887
Hey!
59
00:02:58,887 --> 00:02:59,971
Oh, shit.
60
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,598
Like some punch card shit, nigga?
61
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,725
Fingers crossed.
Fingers crossed, a'ight?
62
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,227
A'ight.
63
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,396
♪ And all you and your hos ♪
64
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,066
♪ You keep lives full of soul ♪
65
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,777
Hey, yo, this album
gotta be my essence, son.
66
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,071
Uncensored. Unfiltered.
67
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:20,784
I want you to laugh, cry,
and punch a nigga in the face.
68
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:23,286
The album is an experience,
69
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:25,497
and you're the audience
to my show,
70
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:27,541
and I'm onstage,
at that show,
71
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:31,586
'cause you need me to lift your
spirits and touch your soul!
72
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,213
Oh!
73
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,923
Yeah, thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
74
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,384
My name is Dirt McGirt,
ladies and gentlemen,
75
00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:40,554
and, uh, the next bit
I'd like to do is called
76
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,764
Taurus and the goddamn Bulls.
77
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,099
Hey, you know what
I'm talking about?
78
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,685
Yeah.
Since Tauruses are so stubborn,
79
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,728
I imagine they think a tune
sound like this.
80
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:51,148
Yeah, yeah.
81
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:54,484
♪ The first time
you suck my dick ♪
82
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:55,861
♪ And the ♪
83
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,572
♪ First time I shot off
in your mouth ♪
84
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:03,452
♪ Something shot out of me
real fast ♪
85
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,123
Ooh!
86
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:10,542
I be available for weddings,
87
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,544
bar mitzvahs, and funerals,
ladies and gentlemen.
88
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:15,046
Disgusting! We're leaving.
89
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,673
That sister right there
90
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,216
is the kind of prude-ass girl
91
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:20,385
that won't even let a man
go up her dress!
92
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,390
Hey, motherfucker!
Oh--
93
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,641
Hey!
94
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:29,603
Folks, they want me
to turn my noise down.
95
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,229
Hey!
First, let me
96
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,106
ask y'all a question.
97
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,192
What's worse
than gettin' gonorrhea?
98
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:36,651
Sister?
99
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,780
Lady? Sir?
100
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:43,241
Getting that motherfucker
twice, am I right?
101
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,952
Oh, baby, I should stop meeting
chicks at the free clinic.
102
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,746
I don't know.
What y'all think?
103
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:51,249
I can't help it.
104
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,543
I don't
care about none-a that shit!
105
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:57,380
Look, you can't be out here
scaring off big-time money.
106
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,882
...bring out our next comic.
107
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,134
Mm.
108
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,846
Why can't you be like
Shaquan Smith?
109
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:09,309
Shaquan has supreme clientele
that brought in bookoo bucks.
110
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,437
Mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm.
111
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,439
Now look at him, nigga.
112
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,691
An international superstar.
113
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,151
Yeah. Yeah, right.
114
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,987
Right next to my hotel,
there's a corner store.
115
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,531
Some guys buy beer.
116
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,949
Some kids buy junk food.
117
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,951
Right there--
- Nigga!
118
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,203
What the fuck does that have to
do with what we talking about?
119
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,330
Not a goddamn thing, man!
120
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,083
Look, I ain't got a goddamn
thing to do with Shaquan Smith.
121
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,126
Look,
122
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:38,338
you see how, uh, I'm turning
into a broken record?
123
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,714
Thank you, baby.
124
00:05:39,714 --> 00:05:43,552
Look, man, the back seaters
love my Black ass.
125
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:47,639
Yeah, but the back seaters
buy cheap ripple.
126
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:50,141
I'm trying to run
a business here, baby.
127
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,227
You're not listening to me, man!
128
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:56,523
See, you want me to be
a international superstar
129
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,692
when I'm already the biggest
star in the galaxy.
130
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:01,403
Come on now, baby.
This McGirt.
131
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,488
If that's true then,
132
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:06,783
why am I the only club
that still books you?
133
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:11,329
See, ever since you bought
this whole establishment,
134
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,957
you done turned into
straight management.
135
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,542
You used to be a comic.
136
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,210
'Member when
we toured together?
137
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,255
Broke all the rules together?
138
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:22,549
What happened to you, brother?
139
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,801
You used to trust the art.
140
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:29,639
Brother,
trust goes both ways.
141
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,142
Now, if your motherfucking ass
wasn't out here
142
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:35,562
trying to be a motherfucking
pervert's dream act,
143
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,814
you'd be bigger than Shaquan.
144
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:41,318
Come on, man. I'll play nice.
145
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:44,613
Look, can a brother
get paid, man?
146
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,531
Damn.
Look, player.
147
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:49,117
All I'm saying is
148
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:54,080
you gotta be a version
of yourself that ain't you.
149
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,792
Now, what the fuck is that
even 'posed to mean, man?
150
00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:01,296
H-h-how I'm gonna be somebody
other than myself, man?
151
00:07:01,296 --> 00:07:04,382
Clean up your act,
or get out.
152
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,928
My man main Daddy Cool!
153
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,055
Whoo hoo hoo!
154
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,681
Hey.
155
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,725
Gimme that.
156
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,729
How's it hanging, brother?
157
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,189
Hey, life is living,
and living is life, my brother.
158
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:21,107
All right now.
- Hey, I heard the laughter
159
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,859
and saw the tight asses
running out the club.
160
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,361
You keep doing your thing,
now, Dirt.
161
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,737
I appreciate that, brother.
162
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:26,946
No problem, brother.
- Hey.
163
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,531
Hey, matter of fact,
164
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,033
I'ma bring my old lady
to come see you next time.
165
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,326
- The foxy one?
- The foxy one.
166
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,328
Bring her through!
Bring it through, baby!
167
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,205
Hey, I gots to go.
I gotta go write
168
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,207
a whole new set
for tomorrow night, you dig?
169
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:38,375
Hey, hey, hey, Jack.
Come here. Come here.
170
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:39,417
Come here.
Come here.
171
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,045
Hey, man.
172
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:46,299
Don't put the powder
before your word power.
173
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,094
You understand?
We need brothers like you.
174
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:50,595
Can you dig it?
175
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,514
Yeah, man, but dig this.
176
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:56,184
A man like me gots to live
in the moment, baby.
177
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,644
All right, now.
I'll catch you later, man.
178
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,354
Be cool, all right?
All right, brother.
179
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,980
- Till next time.
- Till next time.
180
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,115
Knock, knock.
181
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,366
Skrrt, skrrt!
182
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:12,909
Hey, baby.
Hey, hey...
183
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,786
Come on!
Come on, baby.
184
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,663
I'll take care-a you.
185
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,581
You know I got
the goody-good.
186
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:21,459
Hey, hey. What did the preacher
say to the strippers?
187
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,086
Fuck you!
188
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:26,005
You one funny motherfucker!
189
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,342
Hey, hey, hey, man!
190
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,803
I don't give a damn
about no Uncle Sam.
191
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,084
Hey, get the fuck--
hey, man--
192
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,210
Sit your ass down, man.
193
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,755
Shit, why--damn!
194
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:09,841
Hey, man. Listen, man.
I'm sorry about, uh...
195
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,551
I'm sorry if that was
your car I stole, man.
196
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,762
If you don't shut
the fuck up, I swear to God...
197
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,263
No.
- I'ma slap the shit outta you.
198
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,348
He needs those lips.
199
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,142
Do you know who I am, sugar?
200
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,477
Yeah, um,
201
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:22,687
you the lady who had these
goons kick down my door.
202
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,189
Mm-hmm.
203
00:09:24,189 --> 00:09:25,940
I'm a lot more than that, funnyman.
204
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,942
I'm Lady Marlboro,
and you'd know that,
205
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:31,321
if your vice was numbers
and not...
206
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,948
But today, I'm here
because I'm opening a club.
207
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,076
The Ladies Room.
You like the name?
208
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,119
Yeah. I like ladies, yeah.
209
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:42,165
Music and comedy.
210
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:44,250
And I need me a headliner.
211
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:48,046
And I hear you're none too happy
with Mr. Airtight Mike.
212
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,048
- I'm not following.
- Get the fuck out--
213
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:52,884
Nigga!
214
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,385
The gracious lady wants you
215
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,845
to sling your jokes for her.
216
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,222
And she gonna pay you
a whole lot more
217
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,265
than they pay you
at the Kit Club, motherfucker.
218
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:02,519
I'll pay you 2,000, up front,
to jump ship.
219
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:05,021
And I can be myself?
Say whatever I want?
220
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,648
As long as you
pack the house.
221
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:13,530
Nah, man.
222
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,615
I can't do that
to Airtight Mike.
223
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,659
He the one gave me my start.
224
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,285
Reconsider.
225
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,374
Do it already, man.
226
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,376
You willing to die for this?
227
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:30,130
Man, lady.
228
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:33,383
I got a lot
to explain to God.
229
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,176
Backstabbing just ain't
one of 'em.
230
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:36,719
It's not. Hmm.
231
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,764
Normally, I'd have Grits
and Gravy pummel you to dust,
232
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:44,394
but I respect a man who doesn't
compromise his principle.
233
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:47,730
And do try to reconsider.
234
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:05,623
♪ Ah ♪
235
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,426
♪ My advantage
on the M-I-C is the slang ♪
236
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,803
♪ That I manifest
so you could never hang ♪
237
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:21,055
♪ Obviously
you know my name by now ♪
238
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:23,766
♪ I done thrown stupid parties
all through your town ♪
239
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:26,394
♪ Dirt McGirt,
that's my motherfucking name ♪
240
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,188
♪ Love to flirt,
that's my motherfucking game ♪
241
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,316
♪ They said
"You want to be MC... ♪
242
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,738
Wait, wait.
I didn't get to the joke yet.
243
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:39,073
There are rules when you start
dating a guy in a wheelchair.
244
00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,950
It's just things
you just can't say to me.
245
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:44,454
You can't walk me through
a step-by-step process.
246
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:50,293
You feel awkward if you
ask me about my "stand-up"?
247
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:53,212
Or did I get a standing
ovation?
248
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,798
And where do I stand
with politics?
249
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,967
There was a crime
that happened the other day,
250
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,218
and the cops didn't believe me
251
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,679
when I said I was
just a innocent bystander.
252
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:09,896
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me
to introduce our next comedian.
253
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:13,358
By his name, you'll know
he'll struggle to clean it up.
254
00:12:13,358 --> 00:12:15,860
Dirt McGirt, y'all!
255
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,661
[groaning]
256
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,219
Whew.
257
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,847
How y'all doin' tonight?
Mm.
258
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,516
I wanna tell you guys
about myself.
259
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,978
I'm not from here.
I'm from Philadelphia.
260
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,312
Typical Philly family.
261
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:54,857
Ten of us
in a two-bedroom apartment,
262
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:58,027
or should I mention that
ten of us lived in one bedroom.
263
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,489
The other half of my family
lived in the other bedroom.
264
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:04,075
All 12 of them.
265
00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,869
Very typical family.
Very typical.
266
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:11,124
Just kids.
No mother. No father.
267
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,501
We was bastards on both sides.
268
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,628
Double bastards.
269
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:19,716
We even shared clothes
at the same time.
270
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:22,010
Two kids an outfit.
271
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:26,347
My sister would pick out
the perfect dress for us.
272
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,693
I'm sorry, Mike.
273
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:43,990
Here's to my first time I ever
wore a condom, god damn it.
274
00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:49,037
See, I prefer it raw.
I prefer it raw.
275
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:52,957
Some people are Mormon.
I am a Raw-mon.
276
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,961
The first time
I even wore a condom,
277
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,297
it wasn't even a condom,
god damn it.
278
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,758
It was, uh,
sandwich plastic bag wrap
279
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:05,511
that I had to just wrap around
that motherfucker.
280
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,558
Care for me to demonstrate,
ladies? No gentlemen.
281
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,977
Yeah!
Whoo!
282
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,282
Shit!
283
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,745
Look at that thing!
284
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,416
Dirt McDirt!
285
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,837
Ladies!
286
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,714
You ain't never seen
nothin' like this?
287
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,716
And don't you bring
your motherfucking ass
288
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,802
back around here again, motherfucker.
289
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,720
Yeah, go on and get.
290
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,972
Welcome, welcome.
291
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,516
Welcome back, player.
292
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:52,850
Thank you, player.
Come on in.
293
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,352
We got something nice
for your lady.
294
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,229
Yep. After you.
After you.
295
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:59,273
Ha ha. All right,
all right.
296
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,707
Oh, man.
297
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,586
Come on, man.
298
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:23,798
Hey. Hey.
It's me, man.
299
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:26,050
All right, man.
300
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:38,604
Do you know the most
important commodity is time?
301
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:43,401
It's the only thing you spend
you can't get back.
302
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,194
Nigga, do you hear me?
303
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,125
I'm not a woman
who repeats herself,
304
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,544
because it wastes my time!
305
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:05,256
Don't you ever mix
that rock-and-roll shit
306
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,008
with my soul music again.
307
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,634
Do you hear?
308
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,678
I promise.
309
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:12,638
All right. Come on.
310
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:18,811
Ah, you look like a man who's
reconsidered my generous offer.
311
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:22,523
Um... I have conditions.
312
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,108
I set conditions.
313
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,735
Uh--
314
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,989
I don't want you
at my club anymore
315
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,658
if you're going butt-ball naked
at my fine establishment.
316
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,619
Oh, yeah.
I heard what you did.
317
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,621
But you said I could say
whatever I want.
318
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,663
I said you could say
whatever you want,
319
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,540
as long as you
packed the house.
320
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:42,084
Based on everyone that
left the club that night,
321
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,503
I don't have high hopes
of that happening at my joint.
322
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:47,089
I realize
that your kind of funny
323
00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,841
is for the privacy of perverts,
324
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,509
so instead
of headlining my club,
325
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,345
you're going to record
an album for me.
326
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,680
And they can hear
your filthy vinyl records
327
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,515
at their drugged-out parties.
328
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:59,727
Now, to love Dirt
is to see Dirt.
329
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,312
See, I gotta be in the room,
330
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:04,357
so I can uplift they souls
and spirits, you dig?
331
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,150
Nigga, if you don't
watch your mouth
332
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,818
in front of the lady,
I swear to God, I will--
333
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,820
Easy, Grits.
334
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:13,532
Now, if you take my money,
you owe me time.
335
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:26,504
Am I going to have to repeat
myself about this, sugar?
336
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,714
No, no. No, no.
337
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:29,882
No.
338
00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:35,054
Ooh, yo, Soul Train starts
in ten minutes, Lady Marlboro.
339
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,305
Thanks, hon.
340
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:39,183
Ooh, I love that host.
341
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,018
Whew, shit.
In another life.
342
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:45,564
I could see myself bouncing his
balls all around my bedroom.
343
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:50,194
In a holy matrimony-type way.
344
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,115
Oh.
Now, McGirt.
345
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:56,200
You gonna run your ass
down to my recording studio,
346
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,870
and after that boy Syl
finish cutting his song,
347
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,872
you gonna cut me
a comedy record,
348
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:04,875
or I'm gonna cut
your lifeline short.
349
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,590
Whoo!
350
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,680
Hey, that's my stuff!
351
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,682
Get back here!
Crazy kids!
352
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:23,269
Listen, dog, I wanna
get so high, I get sober, baby.
353
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,353
You know what
I'm talking about?
354
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,604
Lay it on me, Daddy.
355
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:28,274
Hey, mirrors still work,
brother--use one.
356
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:30,318
That's what I'm trying
to do, man.
357
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,111
No, nigga,
you're not listening.
358
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,779
Look at your face
in the mirror.
359
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,740
Not you, too, on this
righteous kick shit, man.
360
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,074
Hey, I ain't selling you blow
no more.
361
00:18:37,074 --> 00:18:38,326
You're wasting your talent.
362
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,952
Would you do me
like that, man?
363
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,495
I ain't got no choice.
364
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,665
Fuck you then, man!
365
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,667
Keep your shit.
366
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,421
Now, being though
I'm givin' you $200,
367
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:52,798
the same amount
that I just tried to give him,
368
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,467
and he don't know you...
369
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,093
I'ma need you to show
a little more titty meat
370
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,470
to distract him, you know
what I'm talking about?
371
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,056
'Cause I'ma need a 50 on
the side for tit work.
372
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,515
You'd do me like that?
373
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,100
Sorry, baby, but damn.
374
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,228
Nixon in office is making times
harder than a convict's dick.
375
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:09,190
I'ma do you good
right after, anyway.
376
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:12,610
Now, you drive a hard bargain
don't you?
377
00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:15,654
Come here. Take that.
378
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,698
Now get that booger sugar, honey.
379
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:20,868
Shit.
380
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,500
Lord, have mercy.
381
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,752
Is that Priscilla?
382
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:33,381
Juanita? Cindy?
383
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:36,217
Peaches?
How you doing, Peaches?
384
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,135
Now, you know your name
Peaches, sister.
385
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,513
Come on, now!
386
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:43,349
Shit, that was my way of
putting a smile on your face.
387
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,559
Can I ask you
a deeply personal question?
388
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:46,894
Come walk with me
real quick, baby.
389
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,438
Can you start with your name?
390
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:51,315
I'm Dirt McGirt.
391
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,484
No. Seriously.
392
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,444
What's your name?
393
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:58,531
Look, seeing as that
we destined to have kids
394
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:00,199
and get married and all that,
395
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:03,994
I wanted to know what side of
the bed you like sleepin' on--
396
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:06,205
the left
or the right side, baby?
397
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,749
I have known you
for all of three seconds.
398
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,126
Slow down, mister.
399
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:14,338
Well, I mean,
slow down to the first date?
400
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:18,092
Shit, I'm glad you suggest it.
I accept it.
401
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:21,470
That's not what I meant,
but okay.
402
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:22,805
Dirt!
403
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:29,478
Who's that?
404
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,316
Now hold on, baby.
405
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,404
My friend Cinnamon
was just wondering
406
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:41,073
if she could come over
for a while.
407
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,408
Ha ha ha ha.
408
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,952
Now, I know
you don't like sharin'.
409
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,874
But it's all equal
over here, baby.
410
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:55,463
'Cause sharin' is carin'.
411
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:05,139
All right, now it's time for
the scramble board once again.
412
00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:09,477
Let's see what this beautiful
couple has in store for us.
413
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:12,188
Say it loud.
Black and proud.
414
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:15,733
Say it with soul.
415
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,985
Oh, shit.
416
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,362
I told my job
I went to get cigarettes.
417
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:24,200
Mr. Parker's gonna fire me
for sure. Fuck.
418
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,327
Soda and cereal, all day.
419
00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:28,662
They've been on
a real food kick lately.
420
00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:31,040
Got everybody
buying junk food.
421
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,501
Don Cornelius is a man
you can trust.
422
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:36,962
Fuck it.
I'ma get my job back.
423
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,714
♪ Things they never could ♪
424
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:42,176
♪ I like it, I like it... ♪
425
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:45,137
Say, don't you have
an album to record, baby?
426
00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:50,893
I ain't doing shit
for that bitch.
427
00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:53,187
Ain't you gonna get
in trouble?
428
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,153
I been in trouble before.
429
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:03,822
It's the principle.
430
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:08,202
She don't get to decide
if I'm onstage or not.
431
00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:11,539
Ain't this like
"end up dead" trouble?
432
00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:13,749
♪ You got enough
power in your touch... ♪
433
00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,377
First, it was Mike.
434
00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:19,797
Then Daddy Cool.
435
00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:23,133
Every-fucking-body thinking
they can see me.
436
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:25,970
Please.
437
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,639
You know what?
Fuck it.
438
00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:30,558
If I get fired, I get fired.
439
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,518
I don't know what the fuck
to tell these people.
440
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:37,565
And why should you?
You are who you are.
441
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:39,900
Don't be a robot
to this jackass system.
442
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:42,695
I like how that sounds.
443
00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:45,656
God don't make no mistakes.
444
00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:47,283
Shit, I've been who I was
445
00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:50,369
since my mama squirted me
out her hips.
446
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,205
These Banana Smacks
good as a motherfucker, Mama!
447
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,874
Put some more milk
in this bitch.
448
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,962
One day, the world drop
a ton of rules on your head.
449
00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:03,424
"Don't say that.
Can't do this.
450
00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:06,260
"Oh, no, that's wrong.
451
00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:09,096
Act right."
452
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:14,351
Shit, if I can learn to see
the world how they see it,
453
00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:18,230
they should see it
how I see it too.
454
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,691
We are who we believe we are.
455
00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:23,777
I believe in you, baby.
456
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:27,197
You okay, baby?
457
00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:35,497
I know some people
laugh at me,
458
00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:38,375
not with me.
459
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:40,920
Think I'm some sort
of minstrel show.
460
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,090
But those who know, know.
461
00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:51,055
They will never see
no talent like this again.
462
00:23:51,055 --> 00:23:52,306
Ever.
463
00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:59,146
So fuck that bitch
and her studio!
464
00:23:59,146 --> 00:24:01,815
♪ I ain't going
through no more changes ♪
465
00:24:01,815 --> 00:24:04,652
♪ To keep you, girl ♪
466
00:24:04,652 --> 00:24:07,613
♪ Make up your mind ♪
467
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:09,907
♪ Stay or leave ♪
468
00:24:09,907 --> 00:24:12,868
♪ 'Cause any way
the wind blows ♪
469
00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:15,788
♪ It's cool with me ♪
470
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:18,248
♪ Any way the wind blows ♪
471
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:21,502
♪ Oh, it's cool with me ♪
472
00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:26,674
♪ Any way the wind blows,
it's cool with me ♪
473
00:24:33,347 --> 00:24:35,683
Yeah.
474
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:40,896
Now.
Play me my comedy nigga shit.
475
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,065
He never showed up
to his session.
476
00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:46,276
I-I waited, and I waited.
I-I swear.
477
00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,781
Go.
478
00:24:53,283 --> 00:24:55,369
For standing me up,
479
00:24:55,369 --> 00:24:58,914
I want you to make that sucka
number one--
480
00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:01,291
minus one, that's zero.
481
00:25:05,045 --> 00:25:06,714
All right, now.
482
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:09,967
It's time for a little bit
of Soul Train line dancing.
483
00:25:09,967 --> 00:25:11,802
♪ Come on, now ♪
484
00:25:11,802 --> 00:25:14,430
♪ Put it down now ♪
485
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:16,515
♪ Sock it to me, huh ♪
486
00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:17,641
Ooh!
487
00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:19,977
♪ Foxy lady ♪
488
00:25:19,977 --> 00:25:22,312
♪ Uh, she bad ♪
489
00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:27,860
♪ You'll come around ♪
490
00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:29,361
♪ Oh, you gone be mad ♪
491
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:40,038
Damn, baby, them nipples
hard as a motherfucker.
492
00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:41,832
Cocoa butter that up.
493
00:25:44,042 --> 00:25:46,044
Oh, them ain't titties.
494
00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:47,671
Fuck!
495
00:25:47,671 --> 00:25:50,132
Shit.
Hey. Hey, man.
496
00:25:50,132 --> 00:25:52,134
I ain't have your number.
I was just about to call you.
497
00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:55,137
Get the fuck up.
Stand the fuck up!
498
00:25:55,137 --> 00:25:58,515
You know what, brother?
I done left my jokes upstairs.
499
00:25:58,515 --> 00:25:59,767
Hey, let me go get 'em
real quick.
500
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:01,185
That's enough of
all that bullshit!
501
00:26:01,185 --> 00:26:02,978
Yo, this is
one funny nigga, huh?
502
00:26:02,978 --> 00:26:05,773
Hey, he gonna be a
funny dead nigga, in a second.
503
00:26:05,773 --> 00:26:07,941
Shit! Who do you think--
504
00:26:07,941 --> 00:26:09,568
Oh, damn it!
505
00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:11,570
All this fighting's gonna
get one of us hurt, man.
506
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,280
Yo ass gonna get hurt!
507
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:14,448
Uh!
508
00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:15,532
Jiving motherfucker.
509
00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:17,284
Uh!
510
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:18,911
Uh!
511
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,205
Uh!
512
00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:23,540
♪ Baby, you laughing ♪
513
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,168
Hey. Hey, man.
You fellas hungry?
514
00:26:26,168 --> 00:26:28,587
Let's go get some--
some pancakes.
515
00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:30,672
Chicken and waffles?
- Nigga, I will break my hand
516
00:26:30,672 --> 00:26:32,382
breaking your face,
if you don't shut the fuck up!
517
00:26:32,382 --> 00:26:34,468
Shit, man.
518
00:26:34,468 --> 00:26:36,553
They ain't gonna have no chicken
and waffles where I'm going.
519
00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:40,557
Oh, co-come on, Gravy.
520
00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:42,142
This--this fool funny.
521
00:26:42,142 --> 00:26:44,269
You ever hear him playing
at the Kitty Kat Club?
522
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:45,729
He got a familiar face,
523
00:26:45,729 --> 00:26:48,774
but the cat I'm thinking of
wouldn't be such a jive-ass.
524
00:26:48,774 --> 00:26:51,568
Do I remind you of somebody
you'd let go?
525
00:26:51,568 --> 00:26:53,153
No! Motherfucker!
526
00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:54,404
- It's me, man.
- Nigga!
527
00:26:54,404 --> 00:26:55,781
Ahh! Shit, man.
528
00:26:55,781 --> 00:26:57,407
If it was up to me,
I'd blow your brains out
529
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:58,951
all over the back
of this Cadillac.
530
00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:01,662
Don't you know laughter good
for the heart, mind, and soul?
531
00:27:01,662 --> 00:27:02,830
Ahh! Shit, man.
532
00:27:02,830 --> 00:27:04,331
Stop all this shit!
533
00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:05,916
Since you about to die and all,
534
00:27:05,916 --> 00:27:08,669
how about you tell us a little
bit of your last material?
535
00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:10,295
Knock-knock.
536
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:12,047
Who's there?
Who's there? Who's there?
537
00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:13,715
- Not me, nigga!
- What the--
538
00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:15,592
♪ Baby, baby, come on,
baby, come on ♪
539
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:17,344
♪ Baby, come on,
baby come on ♪
540
00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:19,388
What the fuck?
Anybody wanna...
541
00:27:19,388 --> 00:27:22,349
Oh, shit, motherfucker!
Right motherfuckin' now.
542
00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,768
Watch out for the nuns!
543
00:27:24,768 --> 00:27:26,019
Oh!
544
00:27:26,019 --> 00:27:28,438
you want us
to go to hell, nigga?
545
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:30,232
Whaa--
546
00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:32,484
Holy shit!
547
00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:33,735
♪ You can never ignore ♪
548
00:27:33,735 --> 00:27:35,779
♪ Hip hop to me
is like the place to be ♪
549
00:27:35,779 --> 00:27:38,615
♪ My specialty
from me to you is MC ♪
550
00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:41,159
♪ Say what you wanna say,
baby say ♪
551
00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:43,579
♪ I flip the microphone
any day ♪
552
00:27:43,579 --> 00:27:45,956
♪ I'm mad swift 'cause
I got that gift of gab ♪
553
00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:47,457
♪ Niggas get mad ♪
554
00:27:47,457 --> 00:27:48,917
♪ Your ass never had ♪
- Oh, Jesus!
555
00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:50,669
♪ This talent that I got
will riz-zock-- ♪
556
00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:54,256
Hey. Hey.
Hey, man. Say, man.
557
00:27:54,256 --> 00:27:56,466
Listen,
whoever the fuck you are,
558
00:27:56,466 --> 00:28:00,178
I got $10,000
in a safety deposit box,
559
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:01,471
and you can have that shit.
560
00:28:01,471 --> 00:28:03,307
Just let me go, man!
561
00:28:04,892 --> 00:28:06,685
What the fuck?
562
00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:11,440
We've been watching you
for some time now, Dirt.
563
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,401
What? White man.
Who the hell are you, man?
564
00:28:14,401 --> 00:28:16,695
Never you worry
about who I am,
565
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:18,572
just what I am offering.
566
00:28:20,616 --> 00:28:23,076
I have $5,000 for you.
567
00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:26,580
That should, uh,
568
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:29,458
cover your little situation
with Lady Marlboro.
569
00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:31,543
You The Man, ain't you?
570
00:28:31,543 --> 00:28:33,837
See, I knew The Man was
looking for me. I knew it.
571
00:28:33,837 --> 00:28:36,548
That's right.
I'm The Man.
572
00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:38,467
And I will have your ass
thrown into a jail cell
573
00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:40,218
until you rot, Dirt.
574
00:28:40,218 --> 00:28:43,055
Tch. Man, only place
I'm rottin' is the graveyard.
575
00:28:43,055 --> 00:28:45,557
Yeah?
Well, we can arrange that too.
576
00:28:46,767 --> 00:28:49,144
Fuck is your problem, man?
577
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:51,688
Now,
do you watch, uh, Soul Train?
578
00:28:51,688 --> 00:28:54,691
You know, uh, do you know
Don Cornelius?
579
00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:59,071
The, "love, peace, and soul."
580
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:01,114
I might know some people.
I don't know, man.
581
00:29:01,114 --> 00:29:02,282
Oh, you'll be going down
582
00:29:02,282 --> 00:29:04,117
to the taping of Soul Train
583
00:29:04,117 --> 00:29:07,412
with a backstage pass where
you'll be posing as a dancer.
584
00:29:07,412 --> 00:29:09,623
You know how you people do.
585
00:29:09,623 --> 00:29:12,292
There, you will
complete your mission.
586
00:29:13,835 --> 00:29:15,337
What mission are you
talking about, sir?
587
00:29:15,337 --> 00:29:16,880
I think you got
the wrong brother, man.
588
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,716
That--that ain't me.
589
00:29:21,468 --> 00:29:24,012
You will kill
590
00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:26,139
Mr. Don Cornelius.
591
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:34,022
Let me get this straight.
592
00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:39,069
You want me to kill
Don Cornelius, Black royalty?
593
00:29:40,696 --> 00:29:41,989
Damn, man.
594
00:29:41,989 --> 00:29:43,740
You funny as hell, whitey.
You big white man.
595
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:47,744
You must be out
your motherfucking mind, man!
596
00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:51,915
See, despite me sitting down,
I am a stand-up,
597
00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:54,167
Asiatic Black man
598
00:29:54,167 --> 00:29:56,003
with his dick and balls
599
00:29:56,003 --> 00:29:59,673
and his word intact,
god damn it!
600
00:29:59,673 --> 00:30:02,509
So you can shove
that funky-ass assignment
601
00:30:02,509 --> 00:30:05,846
up yo narrow white ass!
602
00:30:23,071 --> 00:30:25,198
What the fuck?
603
00:30:28,326 --> 00:30:30,037
Far out, right?
604
00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:32,205
Whew, I need to get high
for this, man.
605
00:30:32,205 --> 00:30:34,082
What the fuck is going on?
606
00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:36,084
We needed to make sure
you weren't a sellout.
607
00:30:36,084 --> 00:30:39,212
You passed the test.
- Nigga, what test?
608
00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:40,589
I'm Leroy Roscoe,
609
00:30:40,589 --> 00:30:42,549
brother-in-arms
for the Black-Eye-A.
610
00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:47,054
Oh...[chuckles] yeah.
I got you.
611
00:30:47,054 --> 00:30:49,765
Let's get you
out of here, Dirt.
612
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:55,479
Black-Eye-A?
613
00:30:55,479 --> 00:30:57,355
You heard of CIA?
614
00:30:57,355 --> 00:30:59,691
Well, we're the Black-Eye-A,
keeping a foot
615
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:02,235
so far up The Man's ass,
he burps shoe leather.
616
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:03,904
Right on, brother.
617
00:31:03,904 --> 00:31:06,490
You see,
Black culture is expanding.
618
00:31:06,490 --> 00:31:09,034
Music. Movies. Sports.
619
00:31:09,034 --> 00:31:10,619
And The Man?
620
00:31:10,619 --> 00:31:14,331
The Man fears our influence,
so he waged an attack.
621
00:31:14,331 --> 00:31:16,333
Soul Train.
622
00:31:16,333 --> 00:31:18,001
You see, mighty whitey
wants to kill us softly
623
00:31:18,001 --> 00:31:19,669
with this poisonous food.
624
00:31:19,669 --> 00:31:20,754
We've traced a spike
625
00:31:20,754 --> 00:31:22,380
in unhealthy living
in our community
626
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:24,091
back to the Soul Train
scramble board.
627
00:31:24,091 --> 00:31:25,592
Now, bear with me.
628
00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:28,512
What I say next
may be hard to believe.
629
00:31:28,512 --> 00:31:30,680
Brother, you just wiped
a white man's face
630
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,974
off of your face.
I mean, come on now.
631
00:31:35,769 --> 00:31:38,271
The CIA is behind it all.
632
00:31:38,271 --> 00:31:41,316
They hijacked Soul Train
by kidnapping Don Cornelius.
633
00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:42,984
- Come again?
- It gets crazier, brother.
634
00:31:42,984 --> 00:31:45,779
You see, Don Cornelius
is somewhere in a CIA safehouse
635
00:31:45,779 --> 00:31:47,906
while the Robot Cornelius
has been hosting the show
636
00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:50,742
for the past year.
The robot talks like Don.
637
00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:54,704
looks like Don,
down to his perfect afro,
638
00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:56,123
but he ain't Don.
639
00:31:56,123 --> 00:31:59,960
That's why we need you
to kill Robot Cornelius.
640
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:01,962
Can you do that for us, brother?
641
00:32:03,672 --> 00:32:05,465
So you mean to tell me
642
00:32:05,465 --> 00:32:07,425
the only reason
that Don Cornelius don't dance
643
00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:09,261
is because
he's a goddamn robot?
644
00:32:12,013 --> 00:32:13,974
I'll do it.
645
00:32:13,974 --> 00:32:17,727
I'll blow that robot into metal
motherfucking pieces, man.
646
00:32:17,727 --> 00:32:19,813
Now, outta all the brothers
in New York City,
647
00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:24,192
I gotta ask,
why you pick the Dirt Dog, man?
648
00:32:24,192 --> 00:32:27,529
'Cause we know Dirt McGirt
would never compromise himself.
649
00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:30,365
Damn right.
650
00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:36,246
♪ Aw, shit,
here I go once again ♪
651
00:32:36,246 --> 00:32:38,915
♪ Rhymes get shitty
from the time that I spend ♪
652
00:32:38,915 --> 00:32:41,251
♪ I come old
like toe fungus mold ♪
653
00:32:41,251 --> 00:32:43,712
♪ Ask my grand-pop pop duke
gave my soul ♪
654
00:32:43,712 --> 00:32:46,256
♪ Then I came with
that old Al Green shit ♪
655
00:32:46,256 --> 00:32:48,884
♪ Saaa-die,
taught me the ballistic ♪
656
00:32:48,884 --> 00:32:51,553
♪ I get too blurry in your eye
with a high note ♪
657
00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:54,014
♪ Down to the Brownsville,
oops, you got smoked ♪
658
00:32:54,014 --> 00:32:55,974
♪ The shit I'm dropping
is stinking up your area ♪
659
00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:57,809
♪ When I shoot it through...♪
660
00:33:01,313 --> 00:33:05,108
♪ I'm glad you're home ♪
661
00:33:05,108 --> 00:33:08,862
♪ Now did you really miss me ♪
662
00:33:08,862 --> 00:33:12,991
♪ I guess you did
by the look in your eyes ♪
663
00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,285
Dirt, meet Candy,
664
00:33:15,285 --> 00:33:17,954
our weapon specialist
and all-around badass.
665
00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:19,748
I love me some candy.
666
00:33:19,748 --> 00:33:22,209
Yeah, I'll get this cat
suited and booted
667
00:33:22,209 --> 00:33:24,336
to ice the Robot Cornelius.
668
00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:26,254
All right now.
669
00:33:26,254 --> 00:33:29,132
Guns. Rifles. Bazookas.
Lay it on me, mama.
670
00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:30,717
Nah, undercover brother.
671
00:33:30,717 --> 00:33:34,137
All that bang-bang,
pow-pow is for the pigs.
672
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:35,680
We move in silence.
673
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:37,724
♪ Ring my bell ♪
674
00:33:42,479 --> 00:33:46,399
Now, this pinky ring
is electronic with a pulse
675
00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:50,111
that will disable the CIA's
control over the robot.
676
00:33:50,111 --> 00:33:53,073
You gonna wave it in front
of Don's dead-eye stare,
677
00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:55,742
and that'll disable him
for 20 seconds.
678
00:33:55,742 --> 00:33:58,328
♪ Bell, ring my bell ♪
679
00:33:58,328 --> 00:34:00,664
♪ Ring my bell ♪
680
00:34:01,581 --> 00:34:03,833
Oh, this 'bout
to get good, man.
681
00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:05,585
Pow!
682
00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:07,295
Now,
while the robot is disabled,
683
00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:09,506
you gonna peel back
Don's afro.
684
00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:11,591
That'll expose
his circuit board.
685
00:34:11,591 --> 00:34:14,010
Jam the pick prongs
into the slots.
686
00:34:14,010 --> 00:34:15,720
I designed a code
inside the fist
687
00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:19,015
that will self-destruct
that Fugazi Cornelius.
688
00:34:19,015 --> 00:34:21,851
Ooh, far out, sister.
689
00:34:21,851 --> 00:34:23,687
Far out, man.
690
00:34:26,189 --> 00:34:30,860
While I admire the compliment
and the accuracy,
691
00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:32,195
I don't do prophylactics.
692
00:34:32,195 --> 00:34:34,072
I'm the type of guy
that like it raw,
693
00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:35,782
you know what
I'm talking about?
694
00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:39,244
If you find yourself
in an impossible situation,
695
00:34:39,244 --> 00:34:40,662
this will get you
out of there.
696
00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:41,955
Mm.
697
00:34:41,955 --> 00:34:44,416
Well, uh, I don't know
how I can do that.
698
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:47,627
I've never tried it,
and, uh, yeah.
699
00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:50,255
Ah, just open it up.
You'll understand.
700
00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:52,382
All right, the taping
is starting soon.
701
00:34:52,382 --> 00:34:53,883
It's time to finish
the mission.
702
00:34:53,883 --> 00:34:58,722
Okay, now, CIA cats is gonna
be all over that scene.
703
00:34:58,722 --> 00:35:00,640
You might not
make it out alive.
704
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,142
You know that, right?
705
00:35:02,142 --> 00:35:04,644
The Dirt don't die, baby.
706
00:35:04,644 --> 00:35:06,646
You understand that, right?
707
00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:08,231
Mm.
708
00:35:24,706 --> 00:35:26,499
The dancers have just arrived
709
00:35:26,499 --> 00:35:28,960
and Don Cornelius
is on the move.
710
00:35:38,219 --> 00:35:40,972
And here to help us check out
some of their terrific tunes
711
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:43,975
off their hot new
debut album entitled,
712
00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,311
Can It Be All So Simple,
713
00:35:46,311 --> 00:35:48,813
are two young men
who've captured the hearts
714
00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:50,940
and minds
of millions of music lovers.
715
00:35:50,940 --> 00:35:53,526
Please give a warm
Soul Train welcome
716
00:35:53,526 --> 00:35:56,279
to the LittleJohn Brothers.
717
00:35:57,947 --> 00:35:59,866
♪ Hello, my love ♪
718
00:35:59,866 --> 00:36:03,244
♪ I heard a kiss from you ♪
719
00:36:03,244 --> 00:36:08,750
♪ Red magic satin
playing near too ♪
720
00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:11,169
♪ All through the morning rain
I gaze ♪
721
00:36:11,169 --> 00:36:13,797
♪ The sun doesn't shine ♪
722
00:36:13,797 --> 00:36:19,094
♪ Rainbows and waterfalls
run through my mind ♪
723
00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:24,015
♪ A present from you,
strawberry letter 22 ♪
724
00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:29,479
♪ The music plays,
I sit in for a few ♪
725
00:36:32,148 --> 00:36:35,694
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
726
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,531
♪ Ooh ♪
727
00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,783
It's time for
the Soul Train Word Scramble,
728
00:36:41,783 --> 00:36:44,327
and who do we have here today?
729
00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:45,495
Talani.
730
00:36:45,495 --> 00:36:47,539
And where are you from?
731
00:36:47,539 --> 00:36:49,791
Inglewood, California.
732
00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:51,042
You're familiar with
how this works.
733
00:36:51,042 --> 00:36:54,963
You have 60 seconds
to unscramble the board.
734
00:37:12,021 --> 00:37:14,315
Someone changed
the scramble board.
735
00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:15,942
We have an intruder.
736
00:37:37,088 --> 00:37:38,298
Robot Cornelius!
737
00:37:40,633 --> 00:37:43,219
I'm calling you out,
jive turkey.
738
00:37:43,219 --> 00:37:45,889
There's only one way in
and one way out.
739
00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:48,892
Ah!
740
00:37:48,892 --> 00:37:51,186
Whoo!
741
00:37:51,186 --> 00:37:53,188
Ah!
742
00:37:56,232 --> 00:37:57,776
Fuck it.
Let's get it on!
743
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,331
Aah!
744
00:38:16,294 --> 00:38:18,588
Aah!
745
00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:56,251
You really thought
you was gonna get away
746
00:38:56,251 --> 00:38:58,920
with using our music
to fool the world's children,
747
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,755
you fake mother-less sucka?
748
00:39:00,755 --> 00:39:04,133
About as fake
as your stand-up routine,
749
00:39:04,133 --> 00:39:06,553
so I guess we have
something in common.
750
00:39:06,553 --> 00:39:08,930
It's a shame
I have to kill you.
751
00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:10,640
Get in line.
752
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:11,975
Matter of fact,
753
00:39:11,975 --> 00:39:15,019
get your Black robot ass
in the back of the line.
754
00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:17,146
Ha-ha-ha.
755
00:39:17,146 --> 00:39:19,899
You got jokes.
756
00:39:19,899 --> 00:39:21,234
I don't like jokes.
757
00:39:21,234 --> 00:39:23,611
Well, I don't like phonies.
758
00:39:23,611 --> 00:39:25,405
Your Black-Eye-A ring
759
00:39:25,405 --> 00:39:26,990
won't work on me.
760
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:50,388
Now who's the fake?
761
00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:55,894
Got you, sucka.
762
00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:00,940
Now you get a complete view
763
00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:03,318
of how I whoop
your featherweight ass.
764
00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:04,861
Self-detonation activated.
765
00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:06,237
Shit is gonna blow.
766
00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:07,864
I better get to the rooftop!
767
00:40:12,368 --> 00:40:15,663
If you find yourself
in an impossible situation,
768
00:40:15,663 --> 00:40:16,914
this will get you
out of there.
769
00:40:26,049 --> 00:40:28,760
Oh, shit!
770
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:52,200
The Black-Eye-A thanks you.
771
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,911
The Black Power movement
thanks you,
772
00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:56,663
and I thank you, brother.
773
00:40:56,663 --> 00:41:00,124
Ooh, baby,
the Black-Eye-A don't play.
774
00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:01,417
Any moment now,
775
00:41:01,417 --> 00:41:03,419
the brothers'll be appearing
with Mr. Cornelius.
776
00:41:03,419 --> 00:41:05,838
The actual Don Cornelius?
777
00:41:05,838 --> 00:41:07,507
While you were
kung fu fighting,
778
00:41:07,507 --> 00:41:09,634
the CIA called for
some reinforcements...
779
00:41:09,634 --> 00:41:11,886
- No.
- And exposed their safehouse.
780
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:13,429
No way.
- That's right.
781
00:41:13,429 --> 00:41:15,264
We were able
to rescue Mr. Cornelius.
782
00:41:23,189 --> 00:41:25,733
Mr. Dirt McGirt.
783
00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:29,654
Ha, Mr. Don Cornelius!
It's a pleasure, brother.
784
00:41:29,654 --> 00:41:31,364
The man had a plan
785
00:41:31,364 --> 00:41:33,700
to slow the train
of our progress,
786
00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:35,910
to hijack soul,
787
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:38,079
until you put an end
to that bullshit.
788
00:41:38,079 --> 00:41:41,040
See, I knew he cursed
when he wasn't on TV, man.
789
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,084
Talk yo shit, Don.
790
00:41:43,084 --> 00:41:45,420
I owe you one, Mr. McGirt.
791
00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:47,672
It's Dirt, man.
You don't owe me shit.
792
00:41:47,672 --> 00:41:49,632
It was my pleasure.
793
00:41:49,632 --> 00:41:52,051
Well, then,
let me leave you with this.
794
00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:55,763
I don't play ball,
tell jokes, or sing.
795
00:41:55,763 --> 00:41:58,516
I stay true to myself
and do my own thing.
796
00:41:58,516 --> 00:41:59,684
Dang.
797
00:41:59,684 --> 00:42:03,229
Being your own boss
never gets old,
798
00:42:03,229 --> 00:42:07,150
as long as you do it
with peace, love, and soul.
799
00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:09,318
And soul!
- Now, if you don't mind,
800
00:42:09,318 --> 00:42:10,820
I'd like to go see my family.
801
00:42:10,820 --> 00:42:12,989
They must be terribly concerned
about my wellbeing.
802
00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:14,407
You know what, Don?
803
00:42:14,407 --> 00:42:17,160
I-I just lied back there
so I could come off well.
804
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,078
I need a big favor, Don.
805
00:42:19,078 --> 00:42:20,538
What is it?
806
00:42:20,538 --> 00:42:21,998
Could you, Don Cornelius,
807
00:42:21,998 --> 00:42:24,375
get me back onstage
at the Kitty Kat Club?
808
00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:26,210
Man, come on.
- How would I do that?
809
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:29,630
See, people always telling me
how I can't just be me.
810
00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:31,549
I'm just our ancestors' dream.
811
00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:34,093
Shit, I know my comedy
ain't for everybody,
812
00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:37,722
and you one of the most
trusted Black men in America.
813
00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:39,557
Baby, you Don Cornelius!
814
00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:42,143
If you can just explain that
to Airtight Mike,
815
00:42:42,143 --> 00:42:44,270
man, I'm sure
that'd get me unbanned.
816
00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:46,064
I'll be back onstage.
The ladies will be--
817
00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:48,107
I'll do you one better.
818
00:42:48,107 --> 00:42:50,151
I'll emcee your introduction
to the stage.
819
00:42:50,151 --> 00:42:51,903
Now, how would that be?
- Oh, man.
820
00:42:51,903 --> 00:42:54,530
That will be
a beautiful thing, brother.
821
00:42:54,530 --> 00:42:57,116
My brother.
822
00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:01,746
Just let me go change
my clothes first
823
00:43:01,746 --> 00:43:02,997
before I get out there.
824
00:43:02,997 --> 00:43:04,415
Yeah.
I'ma go see you there.
825
00:43:04,415 --> 00:43:06,000
I gotta get there early
to rehearse and everything.
826
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,377
Thank you.
827
00:43:08,377 --> 00:43:10,755
Yeah!
828
00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:09,522
See you down below.
Hey, brother.
829
00:44:09,522 --> 00:44:11,649
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Brother, brother.
830
00:44:11,649 --> 00:44:13,150
I wanted to ask you.
831
00:44:13,150 --> 00:44:15,903
Brother, how'd you get Don
Cornelius to be here tonight?
832
00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:18,197
Yo, the people are talking,
and they are flocking, playa.
833
00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:19,365
It's a long story.
834
00:44:19,365 --> 00:44:21,075
I'll tell you
right after this set.
835
00:44:21,075 --> 00:44:22,910
Whoa, nigga.
What's happening?
836
00:44:22,910 --> 00:44:24,245
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
837
00:44:24,245 --> 00:44:25,663
Only talent backstage,
all right?
838
00:44:25,663 --> 00:44:28,332
Hey, yo, French fry,
if you don't shut the fuck up,
839
00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:30,001
I'ma smother your ass
in ketchup.
840
00:44:30,001 --> 00:44:32,920
Listen, man, he-he don't got
nothing to do with this.
841
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,965
That's-that's-this your money
right here, plus interest.
842
00:44:35,965 --> 00:44:38,217
Lemme see that. Thanks.
843
00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:41,637
Yeah, it's here, and some.
844
00:44:41,637 --> 00:44:43,890
Okay.
845
00:44:43,890 --> 00:44:46,017
The skinny one can go.
846
00:44:48,144 --> 00:44:50,104
Wait a minute.
847
00:44:50,104 --> 00:44:53,608
You remind me of someone.
848
00:44:53,608 --> 00:44:56,360
Have you ever been to Ohio?
849
00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,321
Ohio?
850
00:44:58,321 --> 00:45:00,698
Oh, no.
No, ma'am.
851
00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:04,160
Look, I'ma let y'all handle
y'all business, all right?
852
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,037
I'ma meet you by the stage,
all right, brother?
853
00:45:06,037 --> 00:45:08,581
Excuse me.
854
00:45:10,917 --> 00:45:12,668
It's all there, man.
855
00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:15,129
I'm telling you.
856
00:45:15,129 --> 00:45:16,756
Mm.
857
00:45:18,674 --> 00:45:19,842
Ha.
858
00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:23,596
Remember what I said
about my time?
859
00:45:23,596 --> 00:45:25,181
Whoa.
860
00:45:27,183 --> 00:45:29,602
Please.
I'll sweeten the deal.
861
00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:32,730
I'll make three albums for you.
Just don't kill me.
862
00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:34,941
With that money,
you'll be making profit.
863
00:45:34,941 --> 00:45:37,026
You'll be making profit
before you even start.
864
00:45:37,026 --> 00:45:39,362
I hate this business.
865
00:45:39,362 --> 00:45:40,696
It's not my time.
866
00:45:45,326 --> 00:45:47,828
It's not my time.
It's not my time.
867
00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:05,638
H-Help.
868
00:46:08,432 --> 00:46:11,102
Help.
- Nigga, you can die fuckin'.
869
00:46:25,282 --> 00:46:26,951
I want to thank
all you cool cats
870
00:46:26,951 --> 00:46:29,453
and foxy ladies here tonight.
871
00:46:29,453 --> 00:46:32,790
I'm your guest emcee,
Mr. Don Cornelius.
872
00:46:39,422 --> 00:46:41,882
Tonight, I'm here
to welcome a new friend,
873
00:46:41,882 --> 00:46:44,135
an all-around rock-solid dude,
874
00:46:44,135 --> 00:46:46,929
and from what I understand,
a crazy comedian.
875
00:46:46,929 --> 00:46:50,558
Word on the grapevine is that
this man is admired by a few
876
00:46:50,558 --> 00:46:52,268
and disliked by many.
877
00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:54,061
Now, let's get
to the bottom of this.
878
00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:55,563
Let's figure it out, people.
879
00:46:57,940 --> 00:47:00,234
Now, to love Dirt
is to see Dirt.
880
00:47:00,234 --> 00:47:01,569
I gotta be in the room
881
00:47:01,569 --> 00:47:04,739
so I can uplift they souls
and spirits, you dig?
882
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:12,204
I am newly
familiar with Mr. Dirt McGirt,
883
00:47:12,204 --> 00:47:14,832
but I found the brother
to be authentic.
884
00:47:14,832 --> 00:47:16,459
And when I ask people
on both sides
885
00:47:16,459 --> 00:47:19,211
of the matter of Dirt McGirt,
they agreed.
886
00:47:19,211 --> 00:47:20,880
He's authentic.
887
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,967
We are all just
our ancestors' dreams,
888
00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:29,805
and our success represents
those dreams coming true.
889
00:47:29,805 --> 00:47:31,307
Now, I'm sure Mr. Dirt McGirt
890
00:47:31,307 --> 00:47:33,976
has rubbed some people
the right and the wrong way.
891
00:47:33,976 --> 00:47:38,105
A man is who a man is.
That man is himself.
892
00:47:38,105 --> 00:47:40,983
I gather that's why
he calls himself Dirt.
893
00:47:40,983 --> 00:47:44,737
Not filthy, not nasty,
but dirt.
894
00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:47,782
Like the Earth.
The essence.
895
00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:49,450
Truth.
896
00:47:49,450 --> 00:47:52,119
What is in the dark
must come to the light,
897
00:47:52,119 --> 00:47:56,624
and so I ask tonight
that we listen, we hear,
898
00:47:56,624 --> 00:47:59,460
we open ourselves
to Dirt McGirt.
899
00:47:59,460 --> 00:48:04,131
And as the old saying goes,
God made Dirt, and...
900
00:48:04,131 --> 00:48:06,634
Dirt don't hurt.
901
00:48:19,230 --> 00:48:20,815
Hey. Hey, Dirt.
902
00:48:20,815 --> 00:48:22,566
- What's up, nigga?
- Brother, you good?
903
00:48:22,566 --> 00:48:25,486
- Never better.
- Congratulations.
904
00:48:25,486 --> 00:48:27,696
Get your ass
on that stage, nigga.
905
00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:32,368
He didn't even wait
for the introduction to end.
906
00:48:32,368 --> 00:48:35,037
Give it up
for the old dirty doggy.
907
00:48:35,037 --> 00:48:38,457
The Ol' Dirty Bastard.
908
00:48:44,463 --> 00:48:51,470
♪ Ah ♪
909
00:48:57,101 --> 00:48:58,602
Hey.
910
00:48:58,602 --> 00:49:00,438
What's up, boy? What's up?
911
00:49:02,690 --> 00:49:03,899
So yo, you heard
what they're saying
912
00:49:03,899 --> 00:49:05,317
about, uh, Dirty's record?
913
00:49:05,317 --> 00:49:06,819
They're saying it's like
a concert album.
914
00:49:06,819 --> 00:49:09,029
I knew the niche, hardcore
fans would embrace the albums,
915
00:49:09,029 --> 00:49:10,823
but the hip-hop purists
are feeling it too.
916
00:49:10,823 --> 00:49:12,199
Well, they both love it.
917
00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:14,785
Crazy motherfucker took 'em
inside his head.
918
00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:16,704
Yo, he wants you
to really feel it, all right?
919
00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:17,955
- Mm-hmm.
- Like it's big,
920
00:49:17,955 --> 00:49:19,832
but it can be bigger.
921
00:49:19,832 --> 00:49:21,333
Only something
that he would do,
922
00:49:21,333 --> 00:49:24,587
so we're talking '70s funk.
923
00:49:24,587 --> 00:49:27,506
Hip-hop, right?
Kung fu. A stage.
924
00:49:29,049 --> 00:49:30,134
You get what I'm saying?
925
00:49:30,134 --> 00:49:31,594
Yeah.
926
00:49:31,594 --> 00:49:33,095
All right.
927
00:49:33,095 --> 00:49:35,890
And action!
928
00:49:35,890 --> 00:49:37,975
♪ Raw ♪
929
00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:40,311
♪ Shimmy, shimmy, ya,
shimmy, yam, shimmy, yay ♪
930
00:49:40,311 --> 00:49:42,897
♪ Gimme the mic
so I can take it away ♪
931
00:49:42,897 --> 00:49:45,399
♪ Off on a natural charge,
bon voyage ♪
932
00:49:45,399 --> 00:49:48,027
♪ Yeah, from the home
of the Dodger Brooklyn squad ♪
933
00:49:48,027 --> 00:49:50,488
♪ Wu-Tang killer bees
on a swarm ♪
934
00:49:50,488 --> 00:49:52,823
♪ Rain on your college-ass
disco dorm ♪
935
00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:54,617
♪ For you to even
touch my skill ♪
936
00:49:54,617 --> 00:49:56,410
♪ You gotta be
the one killer bee ♪
937
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:58,287
♪ And he aim for the kill now ♪
938
00:49:58,287 --> 00:50:00,498
♪ Jot that down,
pass it all around ♪
939
00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:02,833
♪ Lyrics get hard,
quick, cement to the ground ♪
940
00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:04,877
♪ For any emcee
from any 52 states ♪
941
00:50:04,877 --> 00:50:07,588
♪ I get psycho killer,
Norman Bates ♪
942
00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:10,382
♪ My producer slam,
my flow is like bam ♪
943
00:50:10,382 --> 00:50:13,427
♪ Jump on stage
and then I get down ♪
944
00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:31,904
♪ Ooh, baby, I like it raw,
yeah, baby, I like it raw ♪
945
00:50:31,904 --> 00:50:34,406
♪ Ooh, baby, I like it raw ♪
946
00:50:34,406 --> 00:50:37,868
♪ Yeah, baby, I like it raw ♪
947
00:50:47,711 --> 00:50:50,339
♪ Shimmy, shimmy, ya,
shimmy, yam, shimmy, yay ♪
948
00:50:50,339 --> 00:50:52,883
♪ Gimme the mic
so I can take it away ♪
949
00:50:52,883 --> 00:50:55,344
♪ Off on a natural charge,
bon voyage ♪
950
00:50:55,344 --> 00:50:57,846
♪ Yeah, from the home
of the Dodger Brooklyn squad ♪
951
00:50:57,846 --> 00:50:59,848
♪ Wu-Tang killer bees
on a swarm ♪
952
00:52:02,578 --> 00:52:04,079
Get on the line.
953
00:52:15,299 --> 00:52:18,677
Wu-Tang,
Wu-Tang, Wu-Tang, Wu-Tang!
954
00:52:22,348 --> 00:52:24,433
We're not just moving forward.
955
00:52:24,433 --> 00:52:25,684
We're moving upward.
956
00:52:25,684 --> 00:52:27,061
That's what
I've been reaching for.
957
00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:30,439
We're the standard-bearers
of hip-hop.
958
00:52:32,399 --> 00:52:34,318
I set y'all
all up in different shops
959
00:52:34,318 --> 00:52:36,236
so we can take over.
960
00:52:36,236 --> 00:52:38,197
If we don't deliver,
these labels
961
00:52:38,197 --> 00:52:40,991
are gonna give our slots
to other artists.
962
00:52:40,991 --> 00:52:43,660
There's things in this life
you have to take seriously.
963
00:52:43,660 --> 00:52:44,912
I take life serious.
964
00:52:46,497 --> 00:52:48,540
Bobby, you control the music.
965
00:52:48,540 --> 00:52:51,168
You cannot control
their personal lives.
966
00:52:52,378 --> 00:52:54,296
We gotta get this album done.
967
00:52:54,296 --> 00:52:56,507
This ain't something that's
just gonna come out of nowhere.
968
00:52:56,507 --> 00:52:57,758
Wu-Tang!
969
00:52:57,758 --> 00:52:59,927
This next album
gotta be revolutionary.
970
00:52:59,927 --> 00:53:01,387
Stop trying
to control everything.
971
00:53:01,387 --> 00:53:02,930
It's only a matter of time
972
00:53:02,930 --> 00:53:04,932
before they start
to resent you for it.
973
00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:06,892
We're 2/3 through
the recording budget.
974
00:53:06,892 --> 00:53:08,268
We still have nothing
to show for it.
975
00:53:08,268 --> 00:53:10,813
They gonna hold money from us
that they owe,
976
00:53:10,813 --> 00:53:12,981
and they gonna sue us
for money we don't have.
977
00:53:12,981 --> 00:53:14,483
You gotta start
laying down tracks.
978
00:53:14,483 --> 00:53:16,652
Take us to number one
in the world.
979
00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:24,118
When we come together,
the music is real.
980
00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:25,661
It's irreplaceable.
981
00:53:26,787 --> 00:53:28,414
Whoo!
982
00:53:28,414 --> 00:53:31,041
Wu-Tang, Wu-Tang!
983
00:53:31,041 --> 00:53:32,835
We gotta win, 'Vine.
984
00:53:32,835 --> 00:53:34,545
Yeah, Abbot.
985
00:53:34,545 --> 00:53:35,921
We gonna win.
71803
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