Original subtitles

- I'm okay.

I'm okay.

I'm awake.

Okay.

I'm awake and I'm alive.

I'm alive, awake.

I'm in my father's car.

I'm dead, he's gonna kill me.

Oh my god, a falling cloud!

There's nothing out there.

Whose bedrooms?

It's wild and it's lively.

It's wild and it's lively.

I don't see anything, it's probably nothing.

Jesus you scared me, scared me.

Hey dude!

Nothing to worry about alright?

Alright, alright.

He's driving me crazy.

I think I stepped on something.

Like what, what, what, what?

Hey dude!

Catching feelings for us

Green eyes.

You're gonna be eaten.

Green eyes.

I don't like it here.

Hey dude!

Uh uh.

Did you see it?

Did you see it?

Need a shaving, son-of-a-bitch!

Well that was a stupid thing to do!

Uh oh.

- This is one of my favorite stories when I was your age.

So what'd you think of it?

I know you may not have gone through all 11 pages,

after all I only give you a week to read it.

Anybody get up to page four?

John?

Darlene?

Here's a question I'm sure you can answer.

How long till spring break?

38 seconds!

- That's good, you should all major in math,

but your assignment for this vacation is,

listen up!

A 3,000 word composition on what you did this vacation.

Everyone hear that?

Repeat!

A 3,000 word composition!

- Topic?

Vacation!

- Dismissed.

- Now let me get this straight.

It's a house in the woods,

with four bedrooms, a pond,

and nobody else for miles around?

- Sounds great!

- Yeah, too great.

Does it have other things like water,

heat, electricity?

- It has everything!

Come on, I've been there tons of times.

- How about bathrooms?

I've always been very fond of bathrooms.

- Hey, she likes the big one. - How's the wildlife?

It's wild and it's lively.

What do you want?

- Great, let's get packed and get out of here.

David.

- Yeah?

Coming?

- I don't think so.

- Here we go again. - No really, I'd like to.

- No you wouldn't.

- Yes I would, it's just that,

well I promised Janet we'd do

a little work over the break.

- Alright, work over at the house.

- No, you don't understand.

Her parents are really conservative

and I just don't think it'd be a good idea.

- Janet, would you like to come up?

Does she understand anything I'm saying?

- Oh yes, I study English for a long time

before I left Brazil.

- Great, would you like to come along to the house?

- I'd love it.

Am I invited?

No, we're playing with your head?

What?

- Of course you're invited Janet.

Nick will you tell Mike to stop teasing her?

- Great.

David she's coming, you?

- Well, don't think it's gonna be a little crowded?

- Not if you're on top.

- What did he say?

- Nothing, absolutely nothing.

- Are you sure?

J“ ooh a smooth operator

j“ a real gladiator

j“ and a shoe fall down the street

- whose are these?

These are the ugliest things I've ever seen in my life.

Okay.

I'm dying here, how much longer?

About another six miles.

- That's six too many.

Where's the food honey pie?

Baby face.

Sugar tits.

Doreen.

- Yes darling dork.

Sweetie scum.

Needle dick.

Okay I'm sorry.

- Why sorry?

I think that's cute.

David why don't say things like that to me?

Stop the small talk,

we have something interesting ahead.

Slow down.

I mean there's no body.

No proof the girls dead.

I mean you saw that car,

what the hell hit that, an animal?

A damn strong animal if it was.

She drives off the road and then gets attacked.

- One hell of a night.

Hey, I found some blood up there,

to the right.

- Well this is a fun vacation Nick.

Too bed we have to go home now.

- Come on, you're not gonna let a little thing

like that scare you are you?

- Yeah, wanna bet?

Can we please go home?

Look, take the wheel rotate it that way...

- Forget it man, we've gone this far

we're going all the way.

- You don't understand, we just went through a warning.

Don't forget, I have rented out every single

horror film on videotape, and what we just went through

is called a warning stage.

- Come on, none of us girls are scared.

Are you?

- What is this, peer pressure?

Is that what we're talking about now?

- Really Mike, it's logically stupid

for you to be worried by this.

- Logically stupid?

Is that what you said?

Logically stupid?

Is this the person representing brilliance on our trip?

- Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go!

Oh, here's mistake number one.

We're here.

No shit.

Name a horror film.

Any horror film.

I can think of about 10 right now.

- What are you talking about?

This place is beautiful.

Oh yeah, wait till nightfall.

- Well I don't care what you think.

I just don't want to still be in this car at nightfall.

Now are we gonna stay in this car?

Because if we are, I'm about to fart.

- You got alarm in this place? - What good would that do?

- We're talking my parents here, nght

I had nothing to do with this.

I was just 10-year-old kid coming up here on weekends.

- Wow, this place is great?

You like it?

- Like it?

This place is perfect.

- Where's the bedrooms.

- Upstairs.

- You're just gonna act like nothing's happened?

Do you realize if an insane madman came around here

hunting for flesh that nobody could help us?

I'm talking emptiness here.

- What about the phones?

I mean we do have phones here remember?

- Oh yeah, I remember that.

Hello, help, someone!

There's a killer after us!

Please come quick!

Oh, two-hour drive?

Yes we'll be here. I don't know how many pieces we'll be in,

but we we'll be here.

- You'd think they created most of this in your head.

A girl drove off the road in a storm.

It happens every day.

- You know Janet, you're right.

I'm jumping to conclusions and overreacting.

I'm just letting all the horror films

I've ever watched get to me.

I should overcome my fears right now.

Why don't I take a nice stroll down that dirt path

into the woods late tonight all by myself

and then aftennards I can go skinny-dipping

in the pond, and while I'm at it,

I can wave bright white flags around

so everybody can see me.

- Come on David, he's hopeless.

- Oh no, no, that's good.

Leave me alone out here, nothing to worry about right?

That was probably just the wind blowing through the trees.

No, maybe, just maybe, it's something else.

I should investigate.

Fatchance.

Fucking a.

This way.

All right, it's skinny dipping time!

- Hey, you think there's any

snakes around here?

- God I hope so.

- Molly just went in there!

- Nick.

Friends of yours?

- Hey!

Hey you guys!

Hello?

Hello!

- Hey dude!

- What the hell are you doing?

- What's it look like, we're skinny dipping!

- I can see that.

We could all see that, but what are you doing here?

- You mean you wanna arrest the group?

We're here to make this summer rock!

- But what are you doing at my house?

- House?

This is the camp by the lake?

- No, this is the house by the pond.

Oh shit.

A house by the pond!

I'm sorry man, we thought this was the camp by the lake!

We'll get out of here in a few minutes.

- I told you to go left.

- Nick, you ever heard of the words foreshadowing?

- It's one word Mike.

- Oh good, thank you.

I'll remember that when I'm getting

my face ripped off.

Look, don't you know what just happened?

Those kids were born to be murder victims

and just paid us a visit.

Don't you realize the significance of that?

J“ you want it all

j“ you want it all

j“ you're free

j“ you're free

j“ you're free

j“ and you feel what you want to

j“ feel what you want to

j“ feel what you want to

j“ feel what you want to feel

j“ you're having such a good time

j“ living in your own life

j“ you're gonna feel just fine tonight

j“ you're having such a good time

j“ living in your own life

j“ you're gonna feel just fine tonight

j“ you're having such a good time

- we need water to boil.

Nick you said the water pressure would be fine.

- Well I'm sure it's fine if you shower with Doreen.

- Only Doreen would take a shower before dinner.

- You said it.

- Dinner time?

Just about.

- Looks like I need more wood for the fire.

- Are the doors locked?

- No, the doors are unlocked.

- Good, at least we're playing it safe.

Do they at least creek a little bit

for some warning when they open?

- Nick, we need wood for the fire.

Yeah alright, I'll get to it in a second.

- Nick, Nick.

You're going out there?

Are you crazy?

Look Nick we've been friends for 10 years now.

If you go out there,

you're gonna be eaten.

- Eaten?

- Or decapitated or mangled.

Look, don't you realize where we are?

- The twilight zone?

- Yeah, now that you mention it.

Look, Nick, I'm just trying to explain.

We're in the perfect situation...

- Mike look, I have watched just as many of those films,

only I can tell the difference between

make-believe and reality.

Now come on, I don't mind your imagination,

but it's the others who are starting to get annoyed.

Nick I need some help in here.

- Yeah alright, I'll be with you in a second.

Look, do me a favor, go get some wood by the shed.

- It's getting dark.

- I know that.

- It's near the woods.

- Yeah, I know that too.

Oh, you know everything huh?

Well what's that?

- That's an Indian sweat lodge.

- Is that an Indian sweat lodge over there?

According to Indian legend, those were used

by the Indian men to increase their sexual potency.

- That's great. - Mind if I go check that out?

- Enjoy.

- Nick.

-Jesus!

Doreen.

Jesus you scared me.

- Mm, how about a quick one?

No, it's dinner time.

-Fimmy

Jimmy.

Sid I say no?

What the hell is going through my mind?

- Okay, before we start,

I would like to propose a toast to Nick

for making this vacation possible.

- I'll drink to that.

- Love you Nick.

- And also, seriously,

I would like to propose a toast to Doreen.

For being so great in bed.

Here here!

Here here!

- Guys, let's eat.

- So Nick, did you get the wood for the fire?

- No, Mike and I got into a little discussion.

I'll get it after dinner.

- A discussion?

About oh, horror films perhaps?

- No, about what has the potential of becoming

a horror film unless we do something about it quickly.

There is something out there.

Don't listen to me though.

Go right ahead.

- There's nothing out there.

- Famous last words.

What about the girl who drove off the highway?

- What about her?

She drove off the road and got knocked

semi-unconscious and wandered off

through the woods in a daze.

- And her car?

- Like they said, some animal.

Yeah right, an animal.

Like a bunny rabbit, or raccoon, or an anteater.

- No, I bet you up some giant

grizzly bear devoured her

and then bashed in her car.

- Are there bears around here? - No there are not.

- No seriously!

What if one escaped from a 200 or a circus?

What's so funny?

- I could just see this great big bear

out on the front lawn with a little red hat and booties

doing flips and headstands.

- Well maybe it's not trained.

- Well then I guess it falls down a lot

whenever tries to do a headstand.

You're right.

- All right, so, what do you think happened?

- I'm still going back and forth.

It could be an ax murderer and an alien from outer space.

- You're serious.

You really think there's something out there

waiting to kill us?

- No, now it may be inside.

- That came from the kitchen.

What if there is a bear?

- There isn't any bears!

I'm gonna go check it out.

- I'll go with ya.

- Yeah, I'll stay here with the girls.

- No thanks, I'll join you.

Wait for us.

- Wait a second, this is stupid.

We're not all gonna go look.

- What if it is a bear?

- It isn't a bear!

Look, see, no bear!

A pan fell off the counter.

- That's where the rest of the chicken was.

Ew.

- What is all this green stuff all over the pan?

- I thought that chicken tasted kind of funny.

Yeah, no more dinner for me.

- I'll pass on seconds, really, thank you.

- Thanks a lot Nick.

Well I didn't mean anything.

Look, it's there.

- Okay, so the chicken went away.

Now, are we going to assume it just threw up

some green slime and walked away,

or are we going to do the intelligent thing

and bolt and lock the windows and doors?

- Mike's right, we should lock the place up.

What if it is a bear?

- Ugh!

I got to get out of here.

Stacy, wanna go for a walk?

- No thanks.

I have to clean up my green chicken.

- What, you're mad at me now?

- Just do your own cooking from now on.

- Are we having a good time?

What next?

- Would you like to go outside with me David?

- I think it's getting a little dark out.

- You're right, it's very dark out.

It's getting really dark, you better not go.

It's not safe.

It's not safe.

- I'm sure you can get a flashlight.

- Nope, no flashlights.

Look, you don't have one, I don't have one,

they don't have one.

There's none in the house.

I'm sorry it's just...

I brought my pen flashlight.

- That makes sense.

You're actually going.

You're actually going outside.

We've had warnings, murder attempts,

and you're going out for a walk in the woods.

- I don't actually call a disappearing raw chicken

a murder attempt.

- Well I do.

- I heard that.

- So, what about you two?

- How about a nice dip in the pond?

- I'm sorry alright?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.

- It's not that, it's your friend Mike.

He's driving me crazy.

Shh.

- He's going to ruin the whole vacation.

- No he's not, he's gonna help keep it from getting boring.

Come on, he's a really nice guy once you get to know him.

- I don't want to get to know him.

I feel sorry for those who know him.

Nick, he has no life.

- He likes to watch horror films alright.

He is a horror film.

Awalking, talking horror film.

- You never know, one might come in handy.

Can you believe Mike?

I mean talk about overreacting over nothing.

Forget him.

I want to tell story I recently heard.

It's supposed to be a horror story or something like that.

- Well we got the right location for it.

It's not intelligent.

- I didn't think it would be, but go ahead.

- Okay, there were these two two teenagers

out on a date, they drove into the woods to make out.

- You mean intercourse.

- Right.

They abide by the rules.

In the back of the blanket,

they laid it out in an open field.

They start to get undressed

until they noticed that something was watching them.

- They were too preoccupied?

- Right.

They just started to notice this.

And it start to approach them.

They were rolling around in the grass

and this thing got closer and closer.

- Wait a second.

You mean to tell me that these two idiots

didn't notice a monster if it was right on top of them?

- I told you it wasn't a realistic story.

So suddenly the girl open her eyes.

Oh, she'd been into much , right?

- Whatever.

Are you alright?

- Damn fallen branch.

Where did the flashlight go?

- Behind those bushes.

- Oh wait, I think I see it.

No that's not it.

- I think I see it.

- So how does this story end?

Oh it kills them.

I got it!

- Ooh, I think I stepped on something.

- Like what?

- Mike, I don't want to get rough.

We're going for a swim.

- Why don't you put a sign on your chest

that says victim?

Come on, use your brains for a second.

David and Janet haven't made it back yet.

- They've been gone 10 minutes

and they can take care of themselves.

- Oh sure, I'd call penlight enough protection

against anything.

- Okay then, after our swim we'll go look for them.

Good?

- Fine, you're gonna make one major fuck up,

why not go all the way.

Hey Doreen, what about the bear?

- That's right Jim, what if there's a...

Shut up Mike!

There there are no big animals out there Doreen.

And we're going for a swim.

Big animals hate the water.

- Not sharks.

- Are there sharks?

Sharks?

- Goodbye Mike!

- Did somebody say sharks?

- Nick.

- Don't say anything.

I just got her calmed down.

Now we're gonna go to bed alright, goodnight.

But Nick...

- Goodnight.

Guard the household buddy.

I'll see you tomorrow.

- I'm all alone.

I'm all alone.

Holy shit.

J“ sing

j'ah

j“ sing

j'ah

j'go

J'ah ah

j“ sing

j'ah ah oh

j“ sing sing

j'ah ah

j“ sing

j'ah ah oh

j“ sing sing

j'ah

J“ wee

j“ wee

-Fimmy

you know I don't have my clothes on.

- We'll get there.

- I'm not going in if it's cold.

I'm not!

It's not cold!

Oh shit!

- How is it?

How is it really?

- Hurry up, it's good.

Come on in.

- Is it cold?

- Come on!

- You just going to lie there and watch?

- Just enjoying the view.

Yeah, you and everybody else.

Start your own strip show.

This ain't a solo number.

Alright.

Oh, you're so sexy Nick.

- Hey, I meant to do this.

Thought it might be a nice change

if we would start on the floor and then

work our way up to the bed.

- Yeah, well I'm not fond of back problems,

so I'll be on the bed whenever you're ready.

Come on in!

- It's not cold, it's not cold!

What are you, crazy?

- You're so exaggerative.

Stick together and be quiet.

Okay.

- Stop shivering.

- What was that!

Lemme go look.

Come on!

- What was it?

- I don't see anything, it was probably nothing.

Just a raccoon, forget about it.

- Maybe you should go and check and see.

- I'm naked in the pool trying to keep warm.

I'm not going looking for fuzzy little animals!

- Well what if it's not a fuzzy animal?

- Oh you bet your ass I'm not going out there.

But Jim, Jim, what if it's a...

- Don't stay bear okay.

No bear.

- Alright.

- I'm sorry I ever brought up the subject.

I don't like it here.

It's cold.

It's dark.

- It's wet.

- Yes, wet.

Besides,

wouldn't you rather be in front

of a nice warm fire right now?

- I suppose the place is a little warm in the winter.

- No in fact, it would help a lot.

J“ so right

j“ but the king was too shy

j“ and you were my noble Princess

j“ see I was your guest

j“ from far away

j“ afraid to be wakened

j“ I came through the clouds

j“ flying over the meadows

j“ feeling so free

- well, I'm not gonna have to worry

about getting sleep tonight.

- Well it's a good thing the back door was opened

or we'd have been stuck out there all night.

Looks like everybody went to bed.

- That's right.

The fire's all ours.

J'oh

J'oh

j“ I'm happy in my dreamland

Hurry.

I can't get my shoes.

My buckle is stuck.

-Fimmy

Jimmy, it's okay.

Here, let me try.

I can't get the fucking thing.

I can't get my zipper.

- Whoa.

I got it.

- What the fuck are you doing?

- Did you see it?

Did you see it?

- I see you.

You're determined to ruin this evening for me aren't you?

You think you're funny coming down here

looking like one of those insane killers?

- No, it's for protection!

- Protection?

I'll show you protection!

Are you all right?

Oh shit.

- Did you hear something?

Are you all right?

- Now I know I heard something.

- I'll kill you you son of a bitch!

- Jim, no, it was this disgusting weed slimy thing!

- Yeah, that's you!

What the hell's going on here!

- This asshole comes down here

looking like Friday the 13th trying to scare us!

There was this thing!

- What thing Mike!

Doreen, Doreen!

- What's in there?

- That's the basement.

- You're going down in a dark basement alone?

Shit, the lights out.

Doreen, Doreen.

Can you move?

Is anything broken?

- Oh my head.

- I think you broke your head.

How'd you fall?

- Something pulled me.

-Ah ha, I told you!

It's an alien from outer space.

Shut the fuck up Mike.

Let's get her upstairs okay.

Just take it.

- Where do you think you're going?

I'm looking for another light down here.

- Oh good, if you see the creature give him my best.

- Look, just because you've got some unbalanced

mental problems, that's no reason to make us all suffer.

We came here to have a good time

and you're putting us through hell.

Now, for the last time there are no

crazy aliens or killers around.

They're not down here, outside,

upstairs in the bedrooms, the bathrooms, or the kitchen!

Here's your alien Mike.

A nice scared little pussy cat.

What beautiful green eyes.

- I thought I saw something green eyes.

- Well that's it then.

You must have tripped over the cat.

- Where did it come from?

There's nothing up here but ceiling.

I love how these animals just fall out of nowhere

right into your hands.

Ah what do they do, just hang up there by claws

and wait for people to pass by?

- Oh Mike, I almost forgot.

I won't forget that.

- Goodnight Mike, catch those aliens for us.

- Wait, wait, wait.

You can't lock him down there all night.

Why not?

Let him come to his senses.

Maybe he'll realize there aren't any monsters

and we can enjoy the rest of this vacation.

- Yeah, he deserves a small punishment.

Let him out in the morning.

One night down there is not gonna kill him.

- Alright, come on, let's just get Doreen up to bed.

I got you.

Goodnight Mike!

- What, are they kidding?

Hey, hey!

You can't leave me down there!

Hey!

Oh fuck.

Active imagination huh?

Very active.

Okay, deep shit.

Deep shit.

Slightly better than a flashlight.

- Good morning!

What's for breakfast?

- Whatever you want,

as long as you can make it.

How's Doreen?

- Her head still hurts.

Let her rest all day.

- Hey, hey.

That's good.

Oh my god!

- What?

- Green eggs.

- Great.

Hi Jim.

- Hi Nick.

- What happened to you?

- It was on the rake.

It looks like some of that green stuff

that was my chicken last night.

- All right you guys,

just keep it up and see what happens.

I'm not getting any water now.

- No water, what about my shower?

I don't know.

I guess I'll have to go look at the

pipes in the base...

Oh shit.

We forgot about Mike in the basement.

- We did?

What the hell happened down here!

Mike!

Mike!

- He must have gotten out.

- How, the door was still locked?

There's a broken window over there.

- Oh, where'd he go?

- Well wait a minute,

has anybody seen David or Janet since last night?

- Look, their bed wasn't even slept in.

Now what is going on here?

- What if Mike...

- That's it, that explains it.

- What?

- Revenge.

Mike's revenge.

Come on, we lock him up,

so he destroys the pipes

and starts his little game.

And pretends to disappear,

gets David and Janet to join along,

and now we're supposed to be all scared and worried

until they jump out and say boo.

- All right, if that's the way they're gonna play it then...

- We ignore them.

- Yeah right.

Except now I have drive into town

and get those pipes fixed.

And I'm not paying for this.

Okay, and it's gonna take me a while.

I gotta drive into town to find the

plumber my parents used.

God damn it!

You know, this could take me all day!

Hopefully when I get back,

Mikes wonderful little game will be over

and we can finally get on with the rest of this vacation.

I'll see you later.

- Yeah right.

Well, no shower.

Looks like it's time for a swim.

- Good idea, I'll get my suit and join you.

J“ chime

j“ one at a time

j“ and then the second chime

j“ right down the line

j“ oh babe, you gotta believe it

- Can you believe Mike?

I mean he just won't quit.

I mean, first the monsters and then the disappearances.

I mean, what does he think we are?

A bunch of morons?

I'm sure you'll be okay in a couple hours.

- You're alive!

- Oh you're quick!

Nice bikini.

Believe me now?

- What is it?

Oh what is it?

Well, looks like what we've got there

is a big green slimy thing with very large teeth.

Good description?

How many are left?

- How many what?

Our friends.

The people we came up here with remember them?

- Dave and Janet haven't come back yet.

- I scratched them off long ago.

What about Doreen and Jim?

- That thing was with them,

but I'm not sure if they're dead.

- Oh, not sure.

Well, there are a couple of clues.

Were their bodies are more than one piece?

Any big holes through them?

Those are usually sure indications...

I've got you you ugly shit!

- We've gotta get out of here!

- Back to the house!

- Where?

- Some place it doesn't know.

My room.

- What about Jim and Doreen?

- Well where are they?

Napping?

Doreen.

Doreen.

- What happened!

What happened!

- She's fine, thanks a lot.

Take her to my room.

Oh god.

Doreen!

- Oh that's disgusting.

- That won't work, it's gonna smash through it.

It can chew the lock right off.

Oh yeah?

That ought to stop him for now,

nobody likes a mouth full of shaving cream.

Are you two all right?

What the hell is going on?

What is the thing?

- What is it?

Well, take your pick.

Mutant baby, an alien that's been in the snow

for 2,000 years, a genetic monster created by

some crazy scientists.

What difference does it make?

We either have to find a way out of here

or figure out how to kill it.

- What is he talking about?

Where's Jim?

- Jim's in the other room melting right now.

- Is he dead?

- Yes, melting is another indication of death, I'm sure.

What is going on?

Where did that thing come from?

- I really don't think it's historical background

is that important right now. We have to get out of here,

but I'll take from experience,

it's almost always impossible to leave.

- What do you mean almost always?

- In all the movies.

- For crying out loud, will you stop it?

Look, we are talking about reality here, not make-believe.

- Well let me tell you something,

that creature out there is not reality!

So you're saying we're in a movie.

- It's a distinct possibility.

- What has happened to Jim?

- His skin's turning into silly putty.

That thing pumped tons of that

green chicken slime into him.

- You know, what is that stuff?

It was on the chicken pan.

I found some on the pond this morning,

Nick found some on the rake outside now.

- But it's not all over the house.

Eafing.

That's it, it must have been after you

and Jim in the pond last night.

That stuff has got to be part of its digestive system.

Well, you know, people have saliva to break down food,

this thing must have green slime.

So it must have been getting Jim ready for, lunch.

- Oh god.

- Making his insides juicier.

- Shut up, shut up!

You're disgusting!

- Well we have to figure this thing out

if we're gonna kill it!

And the next question is why didn't it slime you two?

- What are you talking about?

- Well, when it attacked me I noticed some of the slime.

It pumped Jim with it.

But when it attacked you and pulled you into the basement

last night, no slime.

It just had both of you in the hall a minute ago, no slime.

So maybe it wants you for something else.

- Like what?

- Reproduction.

- Oh no, that's sick.

- Actually, it did seem like it was trying...

- What are we talking about here?

Those things that pop out of your stomach

when you least expect it?

- Yes, yes, that's it!

You've seen some of these too!

But that means there could be more than one by now.

The girl who drove off the road two days ago.

- Oh hell, there could have been an

army of girl scouts on a nature walk.

There might be hundreds of them.

- Where's Janet?

What has happened to Janet?

Janet, where's Janet?

Help!

Somebody help me!

Help me!

Somebody help me!

- We've got to warn her! Why won't this open!

- Because I nailed it shut yesterday.

Well then get something!

Smash it!

- All right, fine, look out.

Are you trying to kill me?

- Janet, get away from the house!

There's something here!

- I can't!

I can't walk!

- Janet get up!

We've got to get to her before that thing does.

- That thing may have already gotten to her.

- We don't know that.

We've got to help her!

- We don't know anything about that creature

except it, like everyone else,

hates a mouth full of shaving cream!

- Then grab the bottle and let's go.

- We don't have any chance in this condition!

- I'm going.

- Me too!

- Great, this thing's gonna have itself an orgy.

- I don't see it.

- I don't see it.

- It's okay.

- It's okay.

- Let's go.

- Let's go.

- What creature?

David's dead.

- Don't worry Janet, we've got you.

Now where are you going?

We have to get her upstairs!

What the!

Doreen, Doreen snap out of it!

- Need a shaving, you son-of-a-bitch?

- Dust off the rain huh?

Well I guess that'll teach her

not to start with you again.

Punishment seems a little strict,

but what do I know?

- I had to!

It was controlling her!

It shot green rays from its eyes and I looked away!

I guess Doreen didn't.

- Okay, so if you look into its eyes

during a green ray it can control your mind

when it wants to.

Oh wonderful, this thing hasn't missed a trick.

Controls minds, eats people, reproduces.

The car.

We can leave in the car!

Where's the car?

- Nick took it to town to get the plumber.

- Well that was a stupid thing to do!

Plumber!

Sure, gotta get those pipes fixed!

I mean we're just dying around here.

All right, think.

It went up to the roof,

we go to the basement.

Come on, get some flashlights.

I tell ya, if this thing came out on Halloween

it'd have a hell of a time.

- Oh god.

The floor feel like mud.

- That's because it is mud.

Dirt and water make mud.

You learn something new every day don't you?

- The door doesn't lock from this side.

- Well that makes sense.

Why would somebody want to lock themselves in a basement?

- All right, don't start.

All right, get some hammer and nails,

I gotta lock it from the other side

and come back in through the window.

- You're going out there?

- No, I'm gonna mentally will everything to happen.

What a stupid question!

You always as the stupidest questions!

Is someone paying you to stand in front

of an open window or is that your own idea?

Hey, there's some razor blades in the corner

you can play with next.

Would you like to do that?

Look Mike...

- Let's get this window boarded up first, hmm, please?

Give me that one.

That one don't fit either.

How 'bout this one.

- The short one.

Oh that's nice.

Give me a nail.

Ouch, shit!

Never mind.

Give me another one.

You know what keeps coming to mind?

Invasion of the body snatchers.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, well I mean mind control,

birth cycle, high-pitched scream.

- So, how did they kill 'em in that one?

- They didn't.

- Great.

Are we just gonna stay down here all night?

I mean, shouldn't we think of a plan?

- A plan, what a wonderful idea.

What'd you have in mind?

I don't know.

Look, you're the expert in this field.

- Well the problem is we don't know

too much about this thing.

It doesn't react to water

and shaving cream is on its 10 best dishes list.

- Well,

what about fire?

Maybe we could burn it.

- Fire would be hard to come by down here.

But we could kill it with a gun or a big ax.

Would that work?

- Why not?

It's just a slimy green fleshy thing.

Seems to get hurt pretty easily.

In fact, I'm not sure if it's that intelligent.

It smacked itself headfirst into the wall

last night after I got out.

It hit itself in the face with a hammer.

Tell you the truth, I think that thing's pretty stupid.

Wait a second, maybe that's it.

Well if we can confuse that thing enough

that it beats the crap out of itself,

then we can get close enough to it with an ax or something?

- Yeah.

- Nevermind, let's get out of here!

- We locked ourselves in here!

- We did didn't we?

All right, let's get the planks off.

- Hey Mike, the plumber's gonna be here in 10 minutes!

And guess who's paying for it!

- What the hell is he talking about?

- Oh, he thinks you broke the pipes and.

Oh, wait!

He doesn't know about the creature!

He's gonna walk right into the thing!

- Shit!

- We've got to stop him!

What the fuck?

- He's in the house!

- Was that comment really necessary?

- That is it guys!

Come on, the game is over!

You cannot come in here and destroy my house!

Janet

Janet

- Wait!

We gotta get Nick!

- Where where the hell did he go? - Oh.

Come on!

What the hell!

- No questions, time to leave!

- What about the others?

- Dead.

Look, just remember three rules.

Don't ever look into its eyes, beware of the green slime,

and whatever you do don't ever

try to kiss it.

Shit, get us out of here!

Would you like me to drive?

Get us out of here!

- Look away, don't look at it's eyes!

Out, out, out, out, out!

Back, back, back, back, back!

- Shit!

Pond, pond, pond, pond, pond, pond!

Okay, everybody out.

Nick, you didn't get your license, did you?

- What the hell is going on here? - You fucking crazy?

Shit!

- What now?

- Back to the house!

All right, we have to confuse it. Stacy, my coat.

- What are you doing?

- This is not a question and answer period Nick,

it's time to do.

Now we need all the mirrors in this house,

light bulbs, and more flashlights.

Well come on, let's go!

- What's this pile of goop on the floor!

- I'll tell you later, just come down here.

- Hey, I don't have a flashlight.

- Stacy, give him yours.

- It doesn't work.

- It does now.

Okay places.

- Where...

- Oh my god!

Get it off!

- She looked into its eyes!

- What!

- Nick, will you help me here for a second!

Will you help me for a sec!

- Oh god I can't, she's crushing my balls!

What the hell are you doing!

- One more broken things not gonna make any difference.

- What is that?

- You guys remember that alarm system?

- Yeah.

- It's hooked up directly to the police station.

They'll be here in about 30 minutes.

- You mean all we had to do all this time

was set off that goddamn alarm

and police with real weapons would have been all

over this place in a half an hour?

You son-of-a-bitch.

- Stop, stop wait.

I need help, please.

Thank god, please help me.

Well sure, hop on in.

- Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

What happened?

- I had a car accident.

Next thing I know I'm laying in the woods somewhere.

God, I must have been wondering the woods for a day.

- How do you feel?

- A little dizzy and my stomach is hurting me.

- Oh shit, her stomach hurts, Nick.

- Mike, look, we don't know.

We have no proof.

Oh proof huh?

So...

- Sally, Sally foster.

- So Sally...

Yeah.

Had any kinky sex lately?

- What are you talking about?

What's wrong with everybody?

- Your eyes are green!

- Yes I know, they've been that way since I was baby.

Why, don't you like green?

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