Original subtitles

Kind: captions Language: en

are you ready for this unveiling

check out the uh platforms

check out the uh platforms

check out the uh platforms are those not the most

are those not the most

are those not the most is that Madonna or what

do you think I didn't know that story

do you think I didn't know that story

do you think I didn't know that story not too bad for 74.

oh

oh

oh yeah

but diamonds are our girls

friends

as long as I'm able to get to that

as long as I'm able to get to that

as long as I'm able to get to that bathroom and get to my makeup mirror and

bathroom and get to my makeup mirror and

bathroom and get to my makeup mirror and my makeup and honey I'm gonna be pumping

my makeup and honey I'm gonna be pumping

my makeup and honey I'm gonna be pumping this hair and spraying and putting on

this hair and spraying and putting on

this hair and spraying and putting on that makeup and yes ma'am

that makeup and yes ma'am

that makeup and yes ma'am I don't intend to go out of here looking

I don't intend to go out of here looking

I don't intend to go out of here looking like no cotton picking old hag

like no cotton picking old hag

like no cotton picking old hag and I yes I'm gonna look nice it's

and I yes I'm gonna look nice it's

and I yes I'm gonna look nice it's because all those years of having to

because all those years of having to

because all those years of having to live as a man

live as a man

live as a man and wanting to uh buy pretty clothes

and wanting to uh buy pretty clothes

and wanting to uh buy pretty clothes dress up

dress up

dress up wanting to just be me and I couldn't

wanting to just be me and I couldn't

wanting to just be me and I couldn't [Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

foreign

foreign [Music]

[Music]

thank you

thank you

thank you [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

foreign

foreign [Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

foreign

foreign

foreign [Music]

ER but I can dance

ER but I can dance

ER but I can dance [Music]

foreign

foreign

foreign [Music]

[Music]

[Music] what are you doing in the place like

what are you doing in the place like

what are you doing in the place like this baby

this baby

this baby you come to see Chiquita

you come to see Chiquita

you come to see Chiquita yes

I kill you you Yankee piglet

that was the time that I met this guy to

that was the time that I met this guy to

that was the time that I met this guy to disco who was dressed up like John Wayne

disco who was dressed up like John Wayne

disco who was dressed up like John Wayne and he was so masculine so fine and we

and he was so masculine so fine and we

and he was so masculine so fine and we just hit it off really well

just hit it off really well

just hit it off really well and I just thought oh I had just drunk

and I just thought oh I had just drunk

and I just thought oh I had just drunk gold

gold

gold so anyway

so anyway

so anyway um

somehow we ended up at his motel room

somehow we ended up at his motel room

somehow we ended up at his motel room yes he was wearing flavius undergarments

yes he was wearing flavius undergarments

yes he was wearing flavius undergarments and he was throwing himself on the bed

and he was throwing himself on the bed

and he was throwing himself on the bed and hardly spank me oh

and hardly spank me oh

and hardly spank me oh and and do all kinds of tarot he he was

and and do all kinds of tarot he he was

and and do all kinds of tarot he he was into some kind of weird scene and so I

into some kind of weird scene and so I

into some kind of weird scene and so I got I got out of there real quick it

got I got out of there real quick it

got I got out of there real quick it went home

went home

went home foreign

two of my four Sons rezad here with me

two of my four Sons rezad here with me

two of my four Sons rezad here with me we lived apart for several years and you

we lived apart for several years and you

we lived apart for several years and you know after my ex had passed away they

know after my ex had passed away they

know after my ex had passed away they um I talked them into selling the house

um I talked them into selling the house

um I talked them into selling the house and moving with me and we would be back

and moving with me and we would be back

and moving with me and we would be back together like a family again so you know

together like a family again so you know

together like a family again so you know it's worked out pretty well

it's worked out pretty well

it's worked out pretty well it gets a little trying sometimes but um

it gets a little trying sometimes but um

it gets a little trying sometimes but um it helps that I'm on one end of the

it helps that I'm on one end of the

it helps that I'm on one end of the house and they're on the other so we I

house and they're on the other so we I

house and they're on the other so we I have a certain degree of privacy

have a certain degree of privacy

have a certain degree of privacy and um

and um

and um but other than that we just uh we bicker

but other than that we just uh we bicker

but other than that we just uh we bicker and we fuss and we argue and uh but we

and we fuss and we argue and uh but we

and we fuss and we argue and uh but we love each other and uh we are very

love each other and uh we are very

love each other and uh we are very supportive

Heavenly Father we thank you for this

Heavenly Father we thank you for this

Heavenly Father we thank you for this day and for this food and for the

day and for this food and for the

day and for this food and for the privilege of sharing all this together

privilege of sharing all this together

privilege of sharing all this together the joy

the joy

the joy and the sorrow

and the sorrow

and the sorrow the good food the laughter

the good food the laughter

the good food the laughter another day together and we pray for

another day together and we pray for

another day together and we pray for many more to come

many more to come

many more to come in the name of Jesus we pray amen now

in the name of Jesus we pray amen now

in the name of Jesus we pray amen now yes

yes

yes [Music]

what was it Gene Harlow said uh I'm

what was it Gene Harlow said uh I'm

what was it Gene Harlow said uh I'm going to slip into something more

going to slip into something more

going to slip into something more comfortable

okay

pantyhose oh they've come out with

pantyhose oh they've come out with

pantyhose oh they've come out with pantyhose for men now

it's not easy being transgender every

it's not easy being transgender every

it's not easy being transgender every day it's a challenge

day it's a challenge

day it's a challenge you can use all the willpower you have

you can use all the willpower you have

you can use all the willpower you have to try to

to try to

to try to to keep this in the shadows

to keep this in the shadows

to keep this in the shadows at some point it's going to come out in

at some point it's going to come out in

at some point it's going to come out in the open and you cannot find it

the open and you cannot find it

the open and you cannot find it what women have to go through

by the time I decide to do something

by the time I decide to do something

by the time I decide to do something I was in my late 30s I had four small

I was in my late 30s I had four small

I was in my late 30s I had four small children

children

children I had to confront the wife

I had to confront the wife

I had to confront the wife and go through the divorce change jobs

and go through the divorce change jobs

and go through the divorce change jobs start a whole new way of life okay

start a whole new way of life okay

start a whole new way of life okay how did I tell you I used to be a

how did I tell you I used to be a

how did I tell you I used to be a hairdresser cosmetologist for about six

hairdresser cosmetologist for about six

hairdresser cosmetologist for about six years oh yes

um school teacher nine years

um school teacher nine years

um school teacher nine years an accountant

an accountant

an accountant I've done everything but be a stripper I

I've done everything but be a stripper I

I've done everything but be a stripper I haven't tried that yet I'm not real good

haven't tried that yet I'm not real good

haven't tried that yet I'm not real good about swinging around poles

the doctors in Jackson at that time none

the doctors in Jackson at that time none

the doctors in Jackson at that time none of them were treating transgender people

of them were treating transgender people

of them were treating transgender people and they didn't want to talk about it

and they didn't want to talk about it

and they didn't want to talk about it they didn't want anything to do with it

they didn't want anything to do with it

they didn't want anything to do with it but the surgery was always uppermost in

but the surgery was always uppermost in

but the surgery was always uppermost in my mind

I struggled for years to raise the money

I struggled for years to raise the money

I struggled for years to raise the money because I was helping support my four

because I was helping support my four

because I was helping support my four children

children

children and then I sought out a reputable

and then I sought out a reputable

and then I sought out a reputable surgeon in Brussels Belgium at that time

surgeon in Brussels Belgium at that time

surgeon in Brussels Belgium at that time I was 60 years old

I started out with nothing no money

I started out with nothing no money

I started out with nothing no money no resources it seems like a miracle

no resources it seems like a miracle

no resources it seems like a miracle that I actually was able to finally

that I actually was able to finally

that I actually was able to finally achieve at this

okay

that's off to face the cruel world

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

and um

I haven't and it just kind of makes me

feel

feel

feel worthless

I'm trying not to feel so inferior like

I'm trying not to feel so inferior like

I'm trying not to feel so inferior like I I'd like to like to feel that I matter

um and sometimes I'd feel that I don't

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] I decided I need to change things and

I decided I need to change things and

I decided I need to change things and I hope to eat murder and I hope to find

I hope to eat murder and I hope to find

I hope to eat murder and I hope to find that special person and I hope to have

that special person and I hope to have

that special person and I hope to have kids and hope to have a family

we found that person yet but like I said

we found that person yet but like I said

we found that person yet but like I said I hope to

and there's a lot I want there's a lot I

and there's a lot I want there's a lot I

and there's a lot I want there's a lot I want out of this life

want out of this life

want out of this life if I if I could choose everything I

if I if I could choose everything I

if I if I could choose everything I wanted I guess I'd be uh a very davishly

wanted I guess I'd be uh a very davishly

wanted I guess I'd be uh a very davishly good looking Playboy going from one girl

good looking Playboy going from one girl

good looking Playboy going from one girl to another girl but in the end I just

to another girl but in the end I just

to another girl but in the end I just would rather have somebody I can marry

would rather have somebody I can marry

would rather have somebody I can marry and maybe go out with

and maybe go out with

and maybe go out with because to me that's a beautiful thing

whoa immaculate

whoa immaculate

whoa immaculate yes

yes

yes yes oh and the drawers are closed

yes oh and the drawers are closed

yes oh and the drawers are closed there's not underwear hanging out

there's not underwear hanging out

there's not underwear hanging out there's no candy wrappers on the floor

there's no candy wrappers on the floor

there's no candy wrappers on the floor and no coffee cups with green mold

and no coffee cups with green mold

and no coffee cups with green mold growing in them

growing in them

growing in them this is true

ah

ah

ah I like it I like it

[Music]

look at them again

[Music]

[Music]

foreign

bread our oldest almost died after

bread our oldest almost died after

bread our oldest almost died after childbirth a day or so after child birth

childbirth a day or so after child birth

childbirth a day or so after child birth with convulsions you know because of

with convulsions you know because of

with convulsions you know because of it's a breach birth and everything and

it's a breach birth and everything and

it's a breach birth and everything and it was a difficult birth that probably

it was a difficult birth that probably

it was a difficult birth that probably caused some damage

caused some damage

caused some damage he survived and Brad is doing well he's

he survived and Brad is doing well he's

he survived and Brad is doing well he's got a white problem and I worry about

got a white problem and I worry about

got a white problem and I worry about that because he won't watch what he eats

that because he won't watch what he eats

that because he won't watch what he eats and I have to work he stays at home and

and I have to work he stays at home and

and I have to work he stays at home and I can't be with him 24 hours a day

I'm a

I'm a

I'm a [Music]

[Music]

[Music] string of base and uh

string of base and uh

string of base and uh where America living is

where America living is

where America living is China it will eat more healthier so

China it will eat more healthier so

China it will eat more healthier so trying to just be more healthy out there

trying to just be more healthy out there

trying to just be more healthy out there and live longer huh because my mom

and live longer huh because my mom

and live longer huh because my mom uh the 59 and my grandmother died right

uh the 59 and my grandmother died right

uh the 59 and my grandmother died right now

now

now and this was a old music boxer got from

and this was a old music boxer got from

and this was a old music boxer got from my mother huh when she died this cat up

my mother huh when she died this cat up

my mother huh when she died this cat up here she's in heaven and she always

here she's in heaven and she always

here she's in heaven and she always looked down

looked down

looked down so

so

so anyway I grew up with her father but I

anyway I grew up with her father but I

anyway I grew up with her father but I always have two loving mothers so

oh

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

[Music]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] there was a period of about seven or

there was a period of about seven or

there was a period of about seven or eight years I was totally estranged from

eight years I was totally estranged from

eight years I was totally estranged from my children I didn't talk to them I had

my children I didn't talk to them I had

my children I didn't talk to them I had no contact with them this was due to

no contact with them this was due to

no contact with them this was due to their mother she didn't want the

their mother she didn't want the

their mother she didn't want the children to be around me

those were very painful years

those were very painful years

those were very painful years emotionally I was just a wreck

emotionally I was just a wreck

emotionally I was just a wreck I wanted to see my children

this picture was us

this picture was us

this picture was us filthy this was it's a little damage

filthy this was it's a little damage

filthy this was it's a little damage right here but this was us uh 1994

right here but this was us uh 1994

right here but this was us uh 1994 Thanksgiving Day

I missed my dad for a while

and

and

and um

um

um it'll always stand out as the most

it'll always stand out as the most

it'll always stand out as the most important Thanksgiving to me because it

important Thanksgiving to me because it

important Thanksgiving to me because it was special

was special

was special um

um

um you know we hadn't talked for years

it was like rediscovering my fault my

it was like rediscovering my fault my

it was like rediscovering my fault my dad or my father all over again

I had wondered why Jerry wasn't a part

I had wondered why Jerry wasn't a part

I had wondered why Jerry wasn't a part of my life I guess part of me was

of my life I guess part of me was

of my life I guess part of me was wondering whether or not Jerry still

wondering whether or not Jerry still

wondering whether or not Jerry still loved me

loved me

loved me and

and

and um part of it I didn't understand was

um part of it I didn't understand was

um part of it I didn't understand was that our mama did not want Jerry around

that our mama did not want Jerry around

that our mama did not want Jerry around once I really got into the

once I really got into the

once I really got into the cross-dressing and living tea totally as

cross-dressing and living tea totally as

cross-dressing and living tea totally as female before the surgery then of course

female before the surgery then of course

female before the surgery then of course that's where the visits were suspended

that you couldn't take time out to see

that you couldn't take time out to see

that you couldn't take time out to see us you know

well apparently she never didn't explain

well apparently she never didn't explain

well apparently she never didn't explain yeah

she told me just before she died

she told me just before she died

she told me just before she died that she still loves you as a friend did

that she still loves you as a friend did

that she still loves you as a friend did you know that

you have to know that your mother was

in her own way a very special person

you know mama when you weren't there she

you know mama when you weren't there she

you know mama when you weren't there she had to try to she tried to play mother

had to try to she tried to play mother

had to try to she tried to play mother and father

and father

and father which I know wasn't easy on her you know

which I know wasn't easy on her you know

which I know wasn't easy on her you know yes especially when you weren't there

isn't no way possible way I would ever

isn't no way possible way I would ever

isn't no way possible way I would ever have deserted you I never would have

have deserted you I never would have

have deserted you I never would have deserted you

deserted you

deserted you under any circumstances

I don't know I guess that I hadn't

I don't know I guess that I hadn't

I don't know I guess that I hadn't called you dead in so long that's what

called you dead in so long that's what

called you dead in so long that's what was really depressing me because in a

was really depressing me because in a

was really depressing me because in a way I had missed you like I miss calling

way I had missed you like I miss calling

way I had missed you like I miss calling you dead

so this is what our new balance is right

so this is what our new balance is right

so this is what our new balance is right here

here

here hopefully next week is going to be good

I own a small mobile locksmith company

I own a small mobile locksmith company

I own a small mobile locksmith company Jerry handles all my accounting

Jerry handles all my accounting

Jerry handles all my accounting in a lot of ways we may not have the

in a lot of ways we may not have the

in a lot of ways we may not have the typical parent

typical parent

typical parent child relationship but um I think it's a

child relationship but um I think it's a

child relationship but um I think it's a good relationship

I remember the first time hearing

I remember the first time hearing

I remember the first time hearing that

that

that you know Dad was moving out and I don't

you know Dad was moving out and I don't

you know Dad was moving out and I don't even remember how old I was I do

even remember how old I was I do

even remember how old I was I do remember saying that well if that's the

remember saying that well if that's the

remember saying that well if that's the case I'm gonna go live with Dad and it

case I'm gonna go live with Dad and it

case I'm gonna go live with Dad and it was explaining to me that that wasn't

was explaining to me that that wasn't

was explaining to me that that wasn't possible

possible

possible way cry he took it really hard and

way cry he took it really hard and

way cry he took it really hard and it it just broke our both our hearts

it it just broke our both our hearts

it it just broke our both our hearts I was either just getting out of high

I was either just getting out of high

I was either just getting out of high school maybe it's my last year

school maybe it's my last year

school maybe it's my last year the first time I'd seen her again

the first time I'd seen her again

the first time I'd seen her again I worked up at the food court at Metro

I worked up at the food court at Metro

I worked up at the food court at Metro Center at the pizza place you did and uh

Center at the pizza place you did and uh

Center at the pizza place you did and uh sabaros I think maybe it was the first

sabaros I think maybe it was the first

sabaros I think maybe it was the first time I'd ever seen her dressed as a

time I'd ever seen her dressed as a

time I'd ever seen her dressed as a woman and I have to admit first blade

woman and I have to admit first blade

woman and I have to admit first blade knives on her after all that time it did

knives on her after all that time it did

knives on her after all that time it did take me back a little bit I didn't know

take me back a little bit I didn't know

take me back a little bit I didn't know how to react

how to react

how to react and I think I think she didn't know

and I think I think she didn't know

and I think I think she didn't know either it was kind of awkward you know

either it was kind of awkward you know

either it was kind of awkward you know she came up to the counter and said hey

she came up to the counter and said hey

she came up to the counter and said hey and

and

and I said hey back we got the door open but

I said hey back we got the door open but

I said hey back we got the door open but it was it was it was kind of a strange

it was it was it was kind of a strange

it was it was it was kind of a strange day

day

day but I'm glad she did

my kids Nick and Trinity at this point

my kids Nick and Trinity at this point

my kids Nick and Trinity at this point do not know

do not know

do not know because they've always called Jerry

because they've always called Jerry

because they've always called Jerry grandma

how do you tell your 14 year old and

how do you tell your 14 year old and

how do you tell your 14 year old and you're soon to be 13 year old daughter

you're soon to be 13 year old daughter

you're soon to be 13 year old daughter that their grandma is

that their grandma is

that their grandma is technically speaking in their

technically speaking in their

technically speaking in their grandfather

grandfather

grandfather in that your actual grandma has been

in that your actual grandma has been

in that your actual grandma has been dead for years

I would love to tell them just be honest

I would love to tell them just be honest

I would love to tell them just be honest with them because I don't want it to be

with them because I don't want it to be

with them because I don't want it to be like my mom never existed

because Nick has asked about my dad a

because Nick has asked about my dad a

because Nick has asked about my dad a couple times and I've deflected the

couple times and I've deflected the

couple times and I've deflected the question because I wasn't really sure

question because I wasn't really sure

question because I wasn't really sure what to say

son you already met my dad you're over

son you already met my dad you're over

son you already met my dad you're over there most days

feel anything how do you wrap your head

feel anything how do you wrap your head

feel anything how do you wrap your head around that you know at 14 years old

he's come from a long line of challenges

he's come from a long line of challenges

he's come from a long line of challenges baby

baby

baby we know there are just almost extinct

we know there are just almost extinct

we know there are just almost extinct species

I'd like to go to my grade knowing that

I'd like to go to my grade knowing that

I'd like to go to my grade knowing that you're finally going to get married and

you're finally going to get married and

you're finally going to get married and have beautiful children

have beautiful children

have beautiful children just children that will carry on the

just children that will carry on the

just children that will carry on the family name

yes yes you Nick all right

yes yes you Nick all right

yes yes you Nick all right two and my family you're the only Jones

two and my family you're the only Jones

two and my family you're the only Jones Come on my brothers didn't have any

Come on my brothers didn't have any

Come on my brothers didn't have any John's grandsons but I did

ready yeah

ready yeah

ready yeah foreign

[Music]

it's not comfortable when you're hiding

it's not comfortable when you're hiding

it's not comfortable when you're hiding something from people

something from people

something from people it preys on your mind every day and you

it preys on your mind every day and you

it preys on your mind every day and you worry

at first I was really scared I thought

at first I was really scared I thought

at first I was really scared I thought oh my God you know how the grandchildren

oh my God you know how the grandchildren

oh my God you know how the grandchildren going to deal with this uh they I'm

going to deal with this uh they I'm

going to deal with this uh they I'm going to be rejected are they not going

going to be rejected are they not going

going to be rejected are they not going to want to see me anymore

to want to see me anymore

to want to see me anymore and I certainly don't want to put an

and I certainly don't want to put an

and I certainly don't want to put an extra Challenge on them

extra Challenge on them

extra Challenge on them I know how cruel

I know how cruel

I know how cruel your peer group can be when you're like

your peer group can be when you're like

your peer group can be when you're like an adolescent in high school

an adolescent in high school

an adolescent in high school I went through all that bullying so I

I went through all that bullying so I

I went through all that bullying so I want to spare them that

you can do whatever you want here it's

you can do whatever you want here it's

you can do whatever you want here it's basically

foreign

I mean I know the homies are down there

I mean I know the homies are down there

I mean I know the homies are down there right now

I usually uh run around here walk around

I usually uh run around here walk around

I usually uh run around here walk around here

here

here I do what I mainly do

I mean it's not the best place but you

I mean it's not the best place but you

I mean it's not the best place but you make a lot of friends here

I mean I might join the military I don't

I mean I might join the military I don't

I mean I might join the military I don't know

know

know it's just I still got to think about it

it's just I still got to think about it

it's just I still got to think about it some more you know what I'm saying

good morning company said good morning

good morning company said good morning

good morning company said good morning [Music]

I grew up in Mississippi which they

I grew up in Mississippi which they

I grew up in Mississippi which they called a closed Society at that time

called a closed Society at that time

called a closed Society at that time we have the segregation system and all

we have the segregation system and all

we have the segregation system and all of that going on it was a scary time to

of that going on it was a scary time to

of that going on it was a scary time to be different

be different

be different [Music]

grew up in a big old farmhouse out in

grew up in a big old farmhouse out in

grew up in a big old farmhouse out in the country and my dad had cotton fields

the country and my dad had cotton fields

the country and my dad had cotton fields and corn fields

and corn fields

and corn fields I had two brothers and three sisters

I had two brothers and three sisters

I had two brothers and three sisters we didn't have anything

we didn't have anything

we didn't have anything materially much

materially much

materially much wonderful

wonderful

wonderful I was aware very early on that I was

I was aware very early on that I was

I was aware very early on that I was expected to behave a certain way that

expected to behave a certain way that

expected to behave a certain way that boys dressed and acted a certain way and

boys dressed and acted a certain way and

boys dressed and acted a certain way and I knew I couldn't didn't feel

I knew I couldn't didn't feel

I knew I couldn't didn't feel comfortable with that

comfortable with that

comfortable with that would go out to the bar and dress up in

would go out to the bar and dress up in

would go out to the bar and dress up in girls clothes and play by myself

they were distressed about my behavior

they were distressed about my behavior

they were distressed about my behavior I would hear them whispering and talking

I would hear them whispering and talking

I would hear them whispering and talking about it and uh maybe we should apply

about it and uh maybe we should apply

about it and uh maybe we should apply you know a more stringent punishment and

you know a more stringent punishment and

you know a more stringent punishment and of course years later I had to tell them

of course years later I had to tell them

of course years later I had to tell them what was going on

what was going on

what was going on and it was I told them they were very

and it was I told them they were very

and it was I told them they were very quiet

quiet

quiet they didn't say anything really

my father

my father

my father he was dying and he had cancer

he was dying and he had cancer

he was dying and he had cancer and I came to see him and I wasn't fully

and I came to see him and I wasn't fully

and I came to see him and I wasn't fully cross-dressed

cross-dressed

cross-dressed but my parents had changed a lot and he

but my parents had changed a lot and he

but my parents had changed a lot and he was just so happy to see me

was just so happy to see me

was just so happy to see me and um

and um

and um he said I reached down and kissed him

he said I reached down and kissed him

he said I reached down and kissed him and I held his hand and he said I'm so

and I held his hand and he said I'm so

and I held his hand and he said I'm so glad you're here I said nothing else

glad you're here I said nothing else

glad you're here I said nothing else really matters but that you're here

really matters but that you're here

really matters but that you're here and

and

and that's a moment I remember

this is my mommy

this is my mommy

this is my mommy and my daddy

and my daddy

and my daddy yeah

yeah

yeah my mother wrote me a letter

my mother wrote me a letter

my mother wrote me a letter not long before she passed away and then

not long before she passed away and then

not long before she passed away and then she wrote

she wrote

she wrote to my darling daughter on her birthday

to my darling daughter on her birthday

to my darling daughter on her birthday and that meant more to me than anything

and that meant more to me than anything

and that meant more to me than anything and I still have it and it was very

and I still have it and it was very

and I still have it and it was very precious

precious

precious to me

to me

to me that was like

that was like

that was like it's okay I accept you as you are that's

it's okay I accept you as you are that's

it's okay I accept you as you are that's what she was saying

oh

oh

oh [Music]

[Music]

thank you

thank you

thank you I thought you were gonna do the husband

he's probably upset wasn't it we haven't

he's probably upset wasn't it we haven't

he's probably upset wasn't it we haven't been up in a while wait a minute

been up in a while wait a minute

been up in a while wait a minute you didn't get nobody no hug

Trent Trevor's brother that they are

Trent Trevor's brother that they are

Trent Trevor's brother that they are fraternal twins

fraternal twins

fraternal twins Trent is

Trent is

Trent is schizophrenic with symptoms of autism

schizophrenic with symptoms of autism

schizophrenic with symptoms of autism his mother managed to get him put into a

his mother managed to get him put into a

his mother managed to get him put into a home

home

home at that time we were estranged and there

at that time we were estranged and there

at that time we were estranged and there was a separation so

was a separation so

was a separation so in a way it was good news but yet it was

in a way it was good news but yet it was

in a way it was good news but yet it was distressing for me too

I I see Wendy's over there yeah we're

I I see Wendy's over there yeah we're

I I see Wendy's over there yeah we're just about all right

all right

all right

all right he loves

don't you Sugar Bone

don't you Sugar Bone

don't you Sugar Bone your brother was very sad that he didn't

your brother was very sad that he didn't

your brother was very sad that he didn't get to come and see you you was crying

get to come and see you you was crying

get to come and see you you was crying the other night he was very sad about

the other night he was very sad about

the other night he was very sad about not being able to become a visit to

not being able to become a visit to

not being able to become a visit to relationship

relationship

relationship okay

okay

okay here Trevor had to work yeah he had he

here Trevor had to work yeah he had he

here Trevor had to work yeah he had he he had no time to come see me and that's

he had no time to come see me and that's

he had no time to come see me and that's how I said

how I said

how I said [Music]

[Music]

[Music] well my brother Trevor okay all right

well my brother Trevor okay all right

well my brother Trevor okay all right he's okay

I told you it was too fast don't eat too

I told you it was too fast don't eat too

I told you it was too fast don't eat too fast

fast

fast oh

oh

oh brain freeze

brain freeze

brain freeze you know in the future I'll eat too fast

you know in the future I'll eat too fast

you know in the future I'll eat too fast not too fast

[Music]

I go to a ballroom dancing class

I go to a ballroom dancing class

I go to a ballroom dancing class occasionally

occasionally

occasionally I walk into that place and there's all

I walk into that place and there's all

I walk into that place and there's all these couples they all have husbands

these couples they all have husbands

these couples they all have husbands wives boyfriends girlfriends partners

wives boyfriends girlfriends partners

wives boyfriends girlfriends partners and I'm alone so I stand out from the

and I'm alone so I stand out from the

and I'm alone so I stand out from the crowd

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] I would like to have an affectionate

I would like to have an affectionate

I would like to have an affectionate intimate relationship with him with a

intimate relationship with him with a

intimate relationship with him with a man whatever the age

man whatever the age

man whatever the age I would like to keep the door open and

I would like to keep the door open and

I would like to keep the door open and the possibility of that

the possibility of that

the possibility of that [Music]

it's difficult to really find a good

it's difficult to really find a good

it's difficult to really find a good solid relationship with with someone and

solid relationship with with someone and

solid relationship with with someone and then there's always the problem of how

then there's always the problem of how

then there's always the problem of how far do you go without telling them about

far do you go without telling them about

far do you go without telling them about your situation Who You Are

your situation Who You Are

your situation Who You Are and how you arrived at this point and

and how you arrived at this point and

and how you arrived at this point and very often you're going to get rejection

very often you're going to get rejection

very often you're going to get rejection a lot of rejection

a lot of rejection

a lot of rejection and um

of course before the surgery it was more

of course before the surgery it was more

of course before the surgery it was more than rejection it was almost the threat

than rejection it was almost the threat

than rejection it was almost the threat of murder

[Music]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] us with his eyes

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

[Music] what is it that God is God is love

what is it that God is God is love

what is it that God is God is love Brethren one day we're going to be love

Brethren one day we're going to be love

Brethren one day we're going to be love now you might look at your own

now you might look at your own

now you might look at your own experience and say I suffer I suffer

experience and say I suffer I suffer

experience and say I suffer I suffer daily

daily

daily that you and I we suffer because of sin

that you and I we suffer because of sin

that you and I we suffer because of sin in our flesh

in our flesh

in our flesh and I'm going to cause you to remember

and I'm going to cause you to remember

and I'm going to cause you to remember your own evil ways

your own evil ways

your own evil ways I'm going to cause you to remember your

I'm going to cause you to remember your

I'm going to cause you to remember your former ways the things you used to do

former ways the things you used to do

former ways the things you used to do you know they're contrary to the will of

you know they're contrary to the will of

you know they're contrary to the will of God and it's going to cause you grief

God and it's going to cause you grief

God and it's going to cause you grief we shall be delivered

we shall be delivered

we shall be delivered may God bless you and keep you as my

may God bless you and keep you as my

may God bless you and keep you as my prayer

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] my religious beliefs and my faith is

my religious beliefs and my faith is

my religious beliefs and my faith is everything

there's people out there that would tell

there's people out there that would tell

there's people out there that would tell me Point Blank you're going to hell

I just say Lord I don't understand it

I just say Lord I don't understand it

I just say Lord I don't understand it I'm gonna leave it in your hands

I'm gonna leave it in your hands

I'm gonna leave it in your hands and and you're the one who has the final

and and you're the one who has the final

and and you're the one who has the final answer and that's where I leave it

answer and that's where I leave it

answer and that's where I leave it [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] I see

I'm very very proud of Brad of what he's

I'm very very proud of Brad of what he's

I'm very very proud of Brad of what he's accomplished what he's able to do

he helps me keep house take care of the

he helps me keep house take care of the

he helps me keep house take care of the yard he is very considerate and

yard he is very considerate and

yard he is very considerate and hopefully I'm going to see a trump in

hopefully I'm going to see a trump in

hopefully I'm going to see a trump in the white

the white

the white foreign

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] going to the gym uh

going to the gym uh

going to the gym uh uh that's again

trying to come over here where I am

at the

at the

at the very very close

but I do believe

but I do believe

but I do believe yeah

yeah

yeah 11's past days

11's past days

11's past days do protection

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

foreign

foreign [Music]

[Music]

[Music] I met her in a beauty shop where I was

I met her in a beauty shop where I was

I met her in a beauty shop where I was working

she and I developed a strong bond as

she and I developed a strong bond as

she and I developed a strong bond as friends co-workers

friends co-workers

friends co-workers and I just adored her

I was obsessed with getting married and

I was obsessed with getting married and

I was obsessed with getting married and having children and I wanted this

having children and I wanted this

having children and I wanted this problem to go away and so she became the

problem to go away and so she became the

problem to go away and so she became the person I would marry

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] within a year or two I realized I was

within a year or two I realized I was

within a year or two I realized I was playing a role that this wasn't who I

playing a role that this wasn't who I

playing a role that this wasn't who I was

and I wanted to please my parents I

and I wanted to please my parents I

and I wanted to please my parents I wanted to please Society I wanted to be

wanted to please Society I wanted to be

wanted to please Society I wanted to be what they wanted me to be

what they wanted me to be

what they wanted me to be and I couldn't

and I couldn't

and I couldn't [Music]

[Music]

[Music] and of course it broke her heart when I

and of course it broke her heart when I

and of course it broke her heart when I explained to her when all this came to a

explained to her when all this came to a

explained to her when all this came to a head and I told her

head and I told her

head and I told her it's hard for me to forgive myself for

it's hard for me to forgive myself for

it's hard for me to forgive myself for it even though I know

it even though I know

it even though I know and I had to do what I had to do

[Music]

she just

she just

she just gave up on herself

gave up on herself

gave up on herself and she gained hundreds of pounds and

and she gained hundreds of pounds and

and she gained hundreds of pounds and she was so heavy she could not get up

she was so heavy she could not get up

she was so heavy she could not get up out of a chair and she literally killed

out of a chair and she literally killed

out of a chair and she literally killed herself over time

[Music]

she forced Trevor to drop out of school

she forced Trevor to drop out of school

she forced Trevor to drop out of school against my knowledge and forced him to

against my knowledge and forced him to

against my knowledge and forced him to stay home and take care of her and wait

stay home and take care of her and wait

stay home and take care of her and wait on her

on her

on her that did a lot of damage to him and now

that did a lot of damage to him and now

that did a lot of damage to him and now he has to have somebody he can blame for

he has to have somebody he can blame for

he has to have somebody he can blame for that he has to have a target for that

that he has to have a target for that

that he has to have a target for that anger and I'm the available Target

this is where we definitely saw Mama

this is where we definitely saw Mama

this is where we definitely saw Mama like go downhill

like go downhill

like go downhill I need you more than anybody

I need you more than anybody

I need you more than anybody yeah

towards the end she just

towards the end she just

towards the end she just her weight and her lack of Mobility

her weight and her lack of Mobility

her weight and her lack of Mobility it just it just got very very depressing

it just it just got very very depressing

it just it just got very very depressing yeah especially your watch that happen

yeah especially your watch that happen

yeah especially your watch that happen to Somebody That You Love

to Somebody That You Love

to Somebody That You Love I don't know I think at some point she

I don't know I think at some point she

I don't know I think at some point she just kind of gave up

just kind of gave up

just kind of gave up thank you

at the time I was just like I need to

at the time I was just like I need to

at the time I was just like I need to get away from here I think I felt like

get away from here I think I felt like

get away from here I think I felt like this place was suffocating me

I know that sounds pretty selfish but

I know that sounds pretty selfish but

I know that sounds pretty selfish but so I felt about it and I was left being

so I felt about it and I was left being

so I felt about it and I was left being forced to take care of my

foreign

first of all I didn't demand anything I

first of all I didn't demand anything I

first of all I didn't demand anything I asked you and then you blow up at me

asked you and then you blow up at me

asked you and then you blow up at me will you stop please and listen

I've heard all this before you told me

I've heard all this before you told me

I've heard all this before you told me no you haven't you think everything is

no you haven't you think everything is

no you haven't you think everything is about you when it stops me about you you

about you when it stops me about you you

about you when it stops me about you you get pissed off of that oh God

get pissed off of that oh God

get pissed off of that oh God what you are lacking in Trevor is

what you are lacking in Trevor is

what you are lacking in Trevor is compassion

compassion

compassion I'm sorry I am a damaged person I have

I'm sorry I am a damaged person I have

I'm sorry I am a damaged person I have been to Hell and back I am damaged I try

been to Hell and back I am damaged I try

been to Hell and back I am damaged I try to understand you I believe you I'm

to understand you I believe you I'm

to understand you I believe you I'm going to be in a lot of pain to the day

going to be in a lot of pain to the day

going to be in a lot of pain to the day I draw my last breath I'm gonna be in

I draw my last breath I'm gonna be in

I draw my last breath I'm gonna be in pain

so you go on you don't do the same thing

so you go on you don't do the same thing

so you go on you don't do the same thing you've done for Generations don't listen

you've done for Generations don't listen

you've done for Generations don't listen I'm trying to tell you one more Point

I'm trying to tell you one more Point

I'm trying to tell you one more Point all right what's your point you shut me

all right what's your point you shut me

all right what's your point you shut me out sometimes when I'm trying I'm

out sometimes when I'm trying I'm

out sometimes when I'm trying I'm literally at your feet begging you to

literally at your feet begging you to

literally at your feet begging you to listen to me I'm hurting and you care

listen to me I'm hurting and you care

listen to me I'm hurting and you care all you care about is what is going on

all you care about is what is going on

all you care about is what is going on in Jerry's [ __ ] words you don't give

in Jerry's [ __ ] words you don't give

in Jerry's [ __ ] words you don't give a [ __ ] what's going on mine that's why

a [ __ ] what's going on mine that's why

a [ __ ] what's going on mine that's why I'm so hungry

oh

oh

oh I remember my daddy walking out to the

I remember my daddy walking out to the

I remember my daddy walking out to the watermelon pitch he could always tell if

watermelon pitch he could always tell if

watermelon pitch he could always tell if he was ripe or not he just

he was ripe or not he just

he was ripe or not he just you know

yes

mmm

mmm

mmm yes

yes

yes this is good

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] Trevor's going through a lot of things

Trevor's going through a lot of things

Trevor's going through a lot of things right now still he's still in the

right now still he's still in the

right now still he's still in the process of sorting out a lot of issues

process of sorting out a lot of issues

process of sorting out a lot of issues in his life his feelings

in his life his feelings

in his life his feelings and um so I'm trying to be patient with

and um so I'm trying to be patient with

and um so I'm trying to be patient with him because of that

him because of that

him because of that yeah me too

yeah me too

yeah me too and it's it's very hard because he can

and it's it's very hard because he can

and it's it's very hard because he can be very very abusive

he's angry a lot of anger

he's angry a lot of anger

he's angry a lot of anger he knows we love him

he knows we love him

he knows we love him that's probably yeah I wasn't there for

that's probably yeah I wasn't there for

that's probably yeah I wasn't there for him when he was growing up like I was

him when he was growing up like I was

him when he was growing up like I was supposed to be so he's going to make me

supposed to be so he's going to make me

supposed to be so he's going to make me pay for it for the rest of my life

this is a very toxic situation and

this is a very toxic situation and

this is a very toxic situation and hopefully it's going to get better but

hopefully it's going to get better but

hopefully it's going to get better but I don't know

[Music]

foreign

foreign

foreign [Music]

[Music]

foreign

I was already at the point where I was

I was already at the point where I was

I was already at the point where I was really depressed really mad

really depressed really mad

really depressed really mad and I knew what was wrong

and I knew what was wrong

and I knew what was wrong it just you know got worse and worse

it's hard to describe it's like

it's hard to describe it's like

it's hard to describe it's like you know how when you blow a balloon up

you know how when you blow a balloon up

you know how when you blow a balloon up and you air you know it just gets bigger

and you air you know it just gets bigger

and you air you know it just gets bigger and bigger and you know eventually if

and bigger and you know eventually if

and bigger and you know eventually if you just keep on blowing it's just gonna

you just keep on blowing it's just gonna

you just keep on blowing it's just gonna pop well that's what I felt like inside

pop well that's what I felt like inside

pop well that's what I felt like inside like all this pressure is about to

like all this pressure is about to

like all this pressure is about to explode

explode

explode until finally I said you know what Jerry

until finally I said you know what Jerry

until finally I said you know what Jerry something I got to tell you

something I got to tell you

something I got to tell you the truth is

the truth is

the truth is I am gay I don't care I don't care

I am gay I don't care I don't care

I am gay I don't care I don't care really you know some people are going to

really you know some people are going to

really you know some people are going to accept it some people are not

accept it some people are not

accept it some people are not but

but

but um

it is who I am

why I didn't come out years before

why I didn't come out years before

why I didn't come out years before because my mother was a Jehovah's

because my mother was a Jehovah's

because my mother was a Jehovah's Witness

Witness

Witness and she talked down on homosexuality it

and she talked down on homosexuality it

and she talked down on homosexuality it was a sin it was wrong

was a sin it was wrong

was a sin it was wrong God frowns on that that kind of stuff

God frowns on that that kind of stuff

God frowns on that that kind of stuff and um that's why I never could

and um that's why I never could

and um that's why I never could you know

I never could come out then

[Music]

[Music]

foreign

if I start crying I'll never stop

if I start crying I'll never stop

if I start crying I'll never stop so I have to keep the damn under control

so I have to keep the damn under control

so I have to keep the damn under control I've shed enough tears in my lifetime to

I've shed enough tears in my lifetime to

I've shed enough tears in my lifetime to fill a notion anyway

better

better

better okay

okay

okay that's my old sister

foreign

every time there's a death in the family

every time there's a death in the family

every time there's a death in the family either I'm not told about it so I won't

either I'm not told about it so I won't

either I'm not told about it so I won't show up at the funeral or either if I do

show up at the funeral or either if I do

show up at the funeral or either if I do show up

and during the eulogy the preacher

when it comes it comes to time to

when it comes it comes to time to

when it comes it comes to time to mention to read off the list of

mention to read off the list of

mention to read off the list of survivors

and I'm sitting there holding my breath

and I'm sitting there holding my breath

and I'm sitting there holding my breath or how oh maybe they're going to get it

or how oh maybe they're going to get it

or how oh maybe they're going to get it right this time and yesterday at my

right this time and yesterday at my

right this time and yesterday at my sister's funeral he's reading out the

sister's funeral he's reading out the

sister's funeral he's reading out the list of survivors she's survived by her

list of survivors she's survived by her

list of survivors she's survived by her children and he names them and lots of

children and he names them and lots of

children and he names them and lots of grandchildren and

grandchildren and

grandchildren and also she survived by her brothers

also she survived by her brothers

also she survived by her brothers Brothers

Brothers

Brothers Roger Jones and Jerry Jones of Pearl

Roger Jones and Jerry Jones of Pearl

Roger Jones and Jerry Jones of Pearl Mississippi

they

they

they could not say

could not say

could not say her sister Jerry Jones

some in the family went to him and told

some in the family went to him and told

some in the family went to him and told him to to make that stuff I already love

him to to make that stuff I already love

him to to make that stuff I already love this episode

this episode

this episode because it's disrespectful it's

because it's disrespectful it's

because it's disrespectful it's patronizing is it's degrading it's

patronizing is it's degrading it's

patronizing is it's degrading it's humiliating that's why

humiliating that's why

humiliating that's why when we first got back together it took

when we first got back together it took

when we first got back together it took us a while to learn how to use the word

us a while to learn how to use the word

us a while to learn how to use the word she instead of heat

she instead of heat

she instead of heat and maybe they don't want to give up

and maybe they don't want to give up

and maybe they don't want to give up thinking of you as their brother oh dear

thinking of you as their brother oh dear

thinking of you as their brother oh dear what a loss

my little sister got arrested her soul

my little sister got arrested her soul

my little sister got arrested her soul she saw me as her sister

she saw me as her sister

she saw me as her sister we had no problems with it

breaks my heart I just wish the rest of

breaks my heart I just wish the rest of

breaks my heart I just wish the rest of my extended family

my extended family

my extended family could do that I wish they could give me

could do that I wish they could give me

could do that I wish they could give me that kind of respect

everybody

they put those photos

of investigative efforts of those uh

of investigative efforts of those uh

of investigative efforts of those uh reacting with those photos have exposed

reacting with those photos have exposed

reacting with those photos have exposed that it was really a sloppy uh Photoshop

that it was really a sloppy uh Photoshop

that it was really a sloppy uh Photoshop job

I used to be like I didn't give a crap

I used to be like I didn't give a crap

I used to be like I didn't give a crap about this family

about this family

about this family but now kind of

but now kind of

but now kind of I want to just decided to be nice

I would always wonder why he would

I would always wonder why he would

I would always wonder why he would always call grandma Jerry and not Mom

always call grandma Jerry and not Mom

always call grandma Jerry and not Mom like that's weird so she was my mama

like that's weird so she was my mama

like that's weird so she was my mama called my mom all the time

called my mom all the time

called my mom all the time and why even uncle Trevor would call her

and why even uncle Trevor would call her

and why even uncle Trevor would call her Jerry not Mom

I always wondered what happened to

I always wondered what happened to

I always wondered what happened to Grandma's Grandpa

Grandma's Grandpa

Grandma's Grandpa and Grandma was Jerry you know would say

and Grandma was Jerry you know would say

and Grandma was Jerry you know would say that she got rid of Grandpa a long time

that she got rid of Grandpa a long time

that she got rid of Grandpa a long time ago

my grandson has begun to ask his father

my grandson has begun to ask his father

my grandson has begun to ask his father who was your dad

who was your dad

who was your dad because you never talk about it

because you never talk about it

because you never talk about it and training my granddaughter she's very

and training my granddaughter she's very

and training my granddaughter she's very quiet she keeps her thoughts to herself

it's very difficult very difficult

that's what terrifies me I'm going to

that's what terrifies me I'm going to

that's what terrifies me I'm going to grow into this very old

grow into this very old

grow into this very old decrepit person my grandchildren won't

decrepit person my grandchildren won't

decrepit person my grandchildren won't speak to me

speak to me

speak to me and that's a terrible thought

I would do anything to prevent that from

I would do anything to prevent that from

I would do anything to prevent that from happening but I don't know what I can do

it's heartbreaking

um

um

um so I don't know

[Music]

what the hell

what the hell

what the hell [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

no in the back of my head that my

no in the back of my head that my

no in the back of my head that my bedroom is a complete disaster

bedroom is a complete disaster

bedroom is a complete disaster impresses me because it's like My

impresses me because it's like My

impresses me because it's like My Sanctuary

oh

when I came out

when I came out

when I came out I hadn't been with anyone male or female

I hadn't been with anyone male or female

I hadn't been with anyone male or female I was 36 years old I didn't want to be a

I was 36 years old I didn't want to be a

I was 36 years old I didn't want to be a 40 year old virgin like in the movie

40 year old virgin like in the movie

40 year old virgin like in the movie where the guy waited until I was like 40

where the guy waited until I was like 40

where the guy waited until I was like 40 to lose his virginity

to lose his virginity

to lose his virginity I don't want to be a laughing joke but

I don't want to be a laughing joke but

I don't want to be a laughing joke but also and it was also the fact that I

also and it was also the fact that I

also and it was also the fact that I finally lost my virginity

finally lost my virginity

finally lost my virginity but I finally figured out this is who I

but I finally figured out this is who I

but I finally figured out this is who I am

am

am it's you know it's something I had

it's you know it's something I had

it's you know it's something I had denied and I was finally able to finally

denied and I was finally able to finally

denied and I was finally able to finally come to terms with it and

come to terms with it and

come to terms with it and the truth can be something that can

the truth can be something that can

the truth can be something that can either

either

either set you free or can destroy you

I haven't pulled this thing out in a

I haven't pulled this thing out in a

I haven't pulled this thing out in a while

this is a Mother's Day card I gave to

this is a Mother's Day card I gave to

this is a Mother's Day card I gave to Mama on Mother's Day said thanks for

Mama on Mother's Day said thanks for

Mama on Mother's Day said thanks for being a loving compassionate

being a loving compassionate

being a loving compassionate understanding mother and that's why we

understanding mother and that's why we

understanding mother and that's why we think you're the greatest mother in the

think you're the greatest mother in the

think you're the greatest mother in the world

[Music]

going to her graveside and finally

going to her graveside and finally

going to her graveside and finally admitting to Mama that I'm gay

admitting to Mama that I'm gay

admitting to Mama that I'm gay in a wood would a way help me to get to

in a wood would a way help me to get to

in a wood would a way help me to get to let go of certain things

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

foreign

foreign [Music]

you know I promised you that that one

you know I promised you that that one

you know I promised you that that one day I would get married and I would have

day I would get married and I would have

day I would get married and I would have kids

I don't think that's gonna happen mama

I'm gay

I know you taught me that homosexuality

I know you taught me that homosexuality

I know you taught me that homosexuality was a sin and God frowned upon them but

was a sin and God frowned upon them but

was a sin and God frowned upon them but I'm not sorry for coming out

maybe we'll see each other on the other

maybe we'll see each other on the other

maybe we'll see each other on the other side one day okay

love it so they just know I love you

foreign

to come out to her because it would have

to come out to her because it would have

to come out to her because it would have been hard for her

been hard for her

been hard for her very hard

very hard

very hard after what happened between him and her

after what happened between him and her

after what happened between him and her myself and her in the marriage and all

myself and her in the marriage and all

myself and her in the marriage and all it would have been you had been so too

it would have been you had been so too

it would have been you had been so too much for her to take I think

much for her to take I think

much for her to take I think I like to think she's in a better place

I like to think she's in a better place

I like to think she's in a better place now where she has perfect understanding

now where she has perfect understanding

now where she has perfect understanding she's been down with the Heavenly

she's been down with the Heavenly

she's been down with the Heavenly understanding of things and that she can

understanding of things and that she can

understanding of things and that she can understand now but she couldn't have

understand now but she couldn't have

understand now but she couldn't have here

foreign

Bad Touch

Bad Touch

Bad Touch so you get to feel comfortable in your

so you get to feel comfortable in your

so you get to feel comfortable in your own skin

such a gay pride uh bracelet

such a gay pride uh bracelet

such a gay pride uh bracelet and uh

and uh

and uh this one advice I've expressed myself so

I had a dream my wife has married

I had a dream my wife has married

I had a dream my wife has married and I'm trying to have had a child

and I'm trying to have had a child

and I'm trying to have had a child um

teacher no more it's actually perfect

teacher no more it's actually perfect

teacher no more it's actually perfect and

and

and and

I always wonder what my life had been

I always wonder what my life had been

I always wonder what my life had been like if I was normal it didn't have a

like if I was normal it didn't have a

like if I was normal it didn't have a promise I had

it's our nature to have

it's our nature to have

it's our nature to have a companion all right

customized situation it's gonna be hard

I I I'm not gonna try I'm not gonna give

I I I'm not gonna try I'm not gonna give

I I I'm not gonna try I'm not gonna give up

I'm doing just fine

I'm doing just fine

I'm doing just fine I went out with the uh the drag queen

I went out with the uh the drag queen

I went out with the uh the drag queen dude last night

dude last night

dude last night it went wonderful actually

yeah I'm still trying to wake up but it

yeah I'm still trying to wake up but it

yeah I'm still trying to wake up but it was worth it so I ain't worried

was worth it so I ain't worried

was worth it so I ain't worried complaining

foreign

my whole life has changed I actually

my whole life has changed I actually

my whole life has changed I actually have a life and I'm dating and all that

have a life and I'm dating and all that

have a life and I'm dating and all that kind of stuff and and I'm mostly

kind of stuff and and I'm mostly

kind of stuff and and I'm mostly enjoying all this attention you know I

enjoying all this attention you know I

enjoying all this attention you know I mean

going up or partly because I was you

going up or partly because I was you

going up or partly because I was you know the way I was treated when I was in

know the way I was treated when I was in

know the way I was treated when I was in school

school

school which now I can probably see maybe they

which now I can probably see maybe they

which now I can probably see maybe they could since I was gay and maybe had

could since I was gay and maybe had

could since I was gay and maybe had something to do with it you know why I

something to do with it you know why I

something to do with it you know why I was picked on but it made me feel bad

was picked on but it made me feel bad

was picked on but it made me feel bad about myself but now

about myself but now

about myself but now among some dating sites and stuff or

among some dating sites and stuff or

among some dating sites and stuff or actually tell me I'm handsome I'm cute

actually tell me I'm handsome I'm cute

actually tell me I'm handsome I'm cute and I'm pretty I'm sexy and whatever and

and I'm pretty I'm sexy and whatever and

and I'm pretty I'm sexy and whatever and I'm like well thank you very much you

I'm like well thank you very much you

I'm like well thank you very much you know

know

know after what happened to me I would rather

after what happened to me I would rather

after what happened to me I would rather they have not had to deal with any of

they have not had to deal with any of

they have not had to deal with any of this being different in any way

this being different in any way

this being different in any way so it's not easy but well you know I

so it's not easy but well you know I

so it's not easy but well you know I didn't ask to be this way hmm

didn't ask to be this way hmm

didn't ask to be this way hmm did you know I fought this for years

did you know I fought this for years

did you know I fought this for years oh yeah

he came out and started all his new life

he came out and started all his new life

he came out and started all his new life at the same age that I was when I

at the same age that I was when I

at the same age that I was when I started mine

started mine

started mine foreign

foreign

foreign to death I was not going to accept him

to death I was not going to accept him

to death I was not going to accept him and I couldn't believe it I said sweetie

and I couldn't believe it I said sweetie

and I couldn't believe it I said sweetie why wouldn't I not be there for you you

why wouldn't I not be there for you you

why wouldn't I not be there for you you were there for me

[Music]

hello how are you doing

hello how are you doing

hello how are you doing all right doing good

he looks like Sherlock Holmes

drawing man I didn't know you had that

drawing man I didn't know you had that

drawing man I didn't know you had that kind of Tower

kind of Tower

kind of Tower he got a hat in her earring yeah my

he got a hat in her earring yeah my

he got a hat in her earring yeah my stash should be right here

okay

okay

okay hooray all right we need to take some

hooray all right we need to take some

hooray all right we need to take some pictures

all right

sweet

sweet

sweet okay

I'm not trying

put your other arm down

put your other arm down

put your other arm down there you go

there you go

there you go okay

if I was a multi-millionaire I'd take

if I was a multi-millionaire I'd take

if I was a multi-millionaire I'd take him out of this place so fast and I

him out of this place so fast and I

him out of this place so fast and I would hire somebody to personally take

would hire somebody to personally take

would hire somebody to personally take care of him for me and give him his

care of him for me and give him his

care of him for me and give him his medication and everything else

medication and everything else

medication and everything else I can't manage it myself at home if I

I can't manage it myself at home if I

I can't manage it myself at home if I could I would have it at home

[Applause]

hello hello

hello hello

hello hello Chris hello

Chris hello

Chris hello okay

how was your day

Chris is a really wonderful friend I met

Chris is a really wonderful friend I met

Chris is a really wonderful friend I met him through a dating site

and

and

and they don't pick up a phone and call

they don't pick up a phone and call

they don't pick up a phone and call people anymore they tweet them and twerk

people anymore they tweet them and twerk

people anymore they tweet them and twerk them and Google them and

baby do your thing there you go

you don't keep me warm tonight aren't

you don't keep me warm tonight aren't

you don't keep me warm tonight aren't you

you

you oh yes nice

hey Martha Stewart couldn't do this

oh there we go

oh there we go

oh there we go now

with the head of house and the two kids

with the head of house and the two kids

with the head of house and the two kids and all that stuff I'll probably still

and all that stuff I'll probably still

and all that stuff I'll probably still get a refund

get a refund

get a refund for an income credit and all that other

for an income credit and all that other

for an income credit and all that other stuff yeah you're still around the

stuff yeah you're still around the

stuff yeah you're still around the poverty line see what I mean so you're

poverty line see what I mean so you're

poverty line see what I mean so you're not going to shouldn't have to pay

not going to shouldn't have to pay

not going to shouldn't have to pay anything

anything

anything we just about got ourselves out of the

we just about got ourselves out of the

we just about got ourselves out of the hole that yeah we were we were in so

hole that yeah we were we were in so

hole that yeah we were we were in so it's about uh back on top again oh I've

it's about uh back on top again oh I've

it's about uh back on top again oh I've heard people that know you say such and

heard people that know you say such and

heard people that know you say such and the kind and nice things about you how

the kind and nice things about you how

the kind and nice things about you how how hard you were

how hard you were

how hard you were for a time there I thought I was going

for a time there I thought I was going

for a time there I thought I was going to have to go get something for anxiety

to have to go get something for anxiety

to have to go get something for anxiety but her faith in me has gotten me

but her faith in me has gotten me

but her faith in me has gotten me through a lot of this

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] my kids well they figured out that my

my kids well they figured out that my

my kids well they figured out that my mom had died just because of what the

mom had died just because of what the

mom had died just because of what the herd so

herd so

herd so they were like well who is Jerry and how

they were like well who is Jerry and how

they were like well who is Jerry and how is she really like well Jerry's my dad

is she really like well Jerry's my dad

is she really like well Jerry's my dad it was a big weight off my shoulders

it was a big weight off my shoulders

it was a big weight off my shoulders because I wasn't sure how I was going to

because I wasn't sure how I was going to

because I wasn't sure how I was going to approach it

approach it

approach it they probably could have handled this

they probably could have handled this

they probably could have handled this earlier I think maybe it was me that

earlier I think maybe it was me that

earlier I think maybe it was me that couldn't handle it

Jerry's not perfect but neither am I

Jerry's not perfect but neither am I

Jerry's not perfect but neither am I she she's been there and sometimes you

she she's been there and sometimes you

she she's been there and sometimes you know that that means more than anything

they're great kids I'm very blessed

they're great kids I'm very blessed

they're great kids I'm very blessed they're very smart but um my family's

they're very smart but um my family's

they're very smart but um my family's everything

everything

everything I mean there's no other way to put it

I mean there's no other way to put it

I mean there's no other way to put it they are everything

[Music]

it's shocking

it's shocking

it's shocking when I first heard I'm like oh my gosh

when I first heard I'm like oh my gosh

when I first heard I'm like oh my gosh my grandma

my grandma

my grandma was a man

it kind of missed my whole Viewpoint up

it kind of missed my whole Viewpoint up

it kind of missed my whole Viewpoint up family I was like

family I was like

family I was like if Grandma is my mom's dad

so she she that means she had to marry

so she she that means she had to marry

so she she that means she had to marry somebody to have my dad

I would like to talk to them because I

I would like to talk to them because I

I would like to talk to them because I don't know much about my grandma

probably helped they'll probably give me

probably helped they'll probably give me

probably helped they'll probably give me some answers

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

shattered shattered

I just hope

I just hope

I just hope I hope he doesn't turn against me or

I hope he doesn't turn against me or

I hope he doesn't turn against me or this doesn't interfere with our

this doesn't interfere with our

this doesn't interfere with our relationship in any way I hope you

relationship in any way I hope you

relationship in any way I hope you 'll be he's able to absorb it and deal

'll be he's able to absorb it and deal

'll be he's able to absorb it and deal with it

there we go that's uh that's Jerry

there we go that's uh that's Jerry

there we go that's uh that's Jerry that's

that's

that's 1973.

1973.

1973. hey that's April so I was like not quite

hey that's April so I was like not quite

hey that's April so I was like not quite a month old so that was Grandma when she

a month old so that was Grandma when she

a month old so that was Grandma when she was a mine yes yeah

there's mom and that was if that's March

there's mom and that was if that's March

there's mom and that was if that's March 5th 73 that's when she's still pregnant

5th 73 that's when she's still pregnant

5th 73 that's when she's still pregnant with me yeah she's pregnant with your

with me yeah she's pregnant with your

with me yeah she's pregnant with your dad right there you can see she's

dad right there you can see she's

dad right there you can see she's pregnant with him

that's me as a baby

that's me as a baby

that's me as a baby 14 days old yeah

14 days old yeah

14 days old yeah ah now that that's what a teenager yeah

ah now that that's what a teenager yeah

ah now that that's what a teenager yeah it's a teenager small woman was a

it's a teenager small woman was a

it's a teenager small woman was a teenager

teenager

teenager she was not like my best friend we

she was not like my best friend we

she was not like my best friend we worked in a beauty shop

worked in a beauty shop

worked in a beauty shop we like girlfriends this is probably

we like girlfriends this is probably

we like girlfriends this is probably what about the time y'all were married

what about the time y'all were married

what about the time y'all were married or yeah

and that was uh me and her with Webb

and that was uh me and her with Webb

and that was uh me and her with Webb before any of the kids were born

before any of the kids were born

before any of the kids were born wow check that hair out this is the

wow check that hair out this is the

wow check that hair out this is the style of identity yeah this was this in

style of identity yeah this was this in

style of identity yeah this was this in 1965 we was

1965 we was

1965 we was engaged to be married

now that's uh

now that's uh

now that's uh it's a good picture of me you Brad yeah

it's a good picture of me you Brad yeah

it's a good picture of me you Brad yeah um

that's a headstone at my mom's grave

that's a headstone at my mom's grave

that's a headstone at my mom's grave where's the grave at it's a White Sands

where's the grave at it's a White Sands

where's the grave at it's a White Sands he was 59 years old 59.

I haven't seen those pictures

I haven't seen those pictures

I haven't seen those pictures well I think I have when I was little

well I think I have when I was little

well I think I have when I was little but I didn't know who that person was I

but I didn't know who that person was I

but I didn't know who that person was I thought that was like an uncle or

thought that was like an uncle or

thought that was like an uncle or something but now to know that it's my

something but now to know that it's my

something but now to know that it's my grandma

like the only well she she's my favorite

like the only well she she's my favorite

like the only well she she's my favorite grandma in a sense

she's got something special

she's a grandma Paul

foreign

foreign

foreign [Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] family church with your presence your

family church with your presence your

family church with your presence your prayers and your blessings yes

prayers and your blessings yes

prayers and your blessings yes do you as Brad and Trevor's new church

do you as Brad and Trevor's new church

do you as Brad and Trevor's new church family wish to love them in Christ Jesus

family wish to love them in Christ Jesus

family wish to love them in Christ Jesus and will you accept them where they are

and will you accept them where they are

and will you accept them where they are and pray for them

and pray for them

and pray for them I as your pastor really the best that I

I as your pastor really the best that I

I as your pastor really the best that I can to listen to you to pray for you to

can to listen to you to pray for you to

can to listen to you to pray for you to challenge you and to feed you the word

challenge you and to feed you the word

challenge you and to feed you the word of God then fulfill my heart

of God then fulfill my heart

of God then fulfill my heart thank you

it's been a long time coming home

thank you

thank you

thank you [Music]

spread around

spread around

spread around [Music]

[Music]

[Music] mayonnaise

mayonnaise

mayonnaise [Music]

[Music]

[Music] to everyone

Safe Harbor has taught me that you know

Safe Harbor has taught me that you know

Safe Harbor has taught me that you know God has a plan for all of us

God has a plan for all of us

God has a plan for all of us and he made me the way I am for a reason

[Music]

no problem

how's it feeling on the official numbers

how's it feeling on the official numbers

how's it feeling on the official numbers now oh it feels good

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

[Music]

two more hopefully they'll cover all

two more hopefully they'll cover all

two more hopefully they'll cover all that up

that up

that up they'll grow and spread out and we'll

they'll grow and spread out and we'll

they'll grow and spread out and we'll have tomatoes

have tomatoes

have tomatoes tomatoes

I'm secure enough for myself and I don't

I'm secure enough for myself and I don't

I'm secure enough for myself and I don't need attention

need attention

need attention at all

you know it's nice to get it but I'd

you know it's nice to get it but I'd

you know it's nice to get it but I'd like to have the right kind of attention

like to have the right kind of attention

like to have the right kind of attention positive attention

went to this new Mexican restaurant out

went to this new Mexican restaurant out

went to this new Mexican restaurant out here's some real nice restaurants and

here's some real nice restaurants and

here's some real nice restaurants and this waiter was he was just you know

this waiter was he was just you know

this waiter was he was just you know winking and flirting and whoever got

winking and flirting and whoever got

winking and flirting and whoever got pissed off because he wasn't paying him

pissed off because he wasn't paying him

pissed off because he wasn't paying him no I wasn't jealous I mean he was scared

no I wasn't jealous I mean he was scared

no I wasn't jealous I mean he was scared I'm not gonna give him that you

I'm not gonna give him that you

I'm not gonna give him that you acknowledge everyone there I'm an old

acknowledge everyone there I'm an old

acknowledge everyone there I'm an old lady I don't have any sex life Left My

lady I don't have any sex life Left My

lady I don't have any sex life Left My Romance is gone give me a little break

Romance is gone give me a little break

Romance is gone give me a little break here I need all the flirting I can get

here I need all the flirting I can get

here I need all the flirting I can get he was probably just patronizing you bet

he was probably just patronizing you bet

he was probably just patronizing you bet it's fine I need to be patronized in

it's fine I need to be patronized in

it's fine I need to be patronized in that particular way okay

foreign

intervention what about this Alabama

intervention what about this Alabama

intervention what about this Alabama [Music]

[Music]

[Music] that's what she's interested

that's what she's interested

that's what she's interested [Music]

God here's a song you might like then

God here's a song you might like then

God here's a song you might like then damn

damn

damn [Music]

it's a really bad

it's a really bad

it's a really bad [Music]

[Music]

[Music] I'm beginning to feel a lot closer to

I'm beginning to feel a lot closer to

I'm beginning to feel a lot closer to Nick

Nick

Nick he does not

he does not

he does not make me feel bad about this he's been

make me feel bad about this he's been

make me feel bad about this he's been there for me so far I hope he always

there for me so far I hope he always

there for me so far I hope he always will be

and my granddaughter seems to have the

and my granddaughter seems to have the

and my granddaughter seems to have the same regard for me as I said before

right it's not just about us you're part

right it's not just about us you're part

right it's not just about us you're part of a larger picture

of a larger picture

of a larger picture it's about our siblings our parents our

it's about our siblings our parents our

it's about our siblings our parents our ancestors and it all contributed to who

ancestors and it all contributed to who

ancestors and it all contributed to who you are and if there's enough love there

you are and if there's enough love there

you are and if there's enough love there you can overcome

all right so you know what a box step

all right so you know what a box step

all right so you know what a box step it's back for slow

it's back for slow

it's back for slow here we go ready and slow twitch quit

here we go ready and slow twitch quit

here we go ready and slow twitch quit slow

rocks

rocks

rocks roll her out I don't look at it like I'm

roll her out I don't look at it like I'm

roll her out I don't look at it like I'm approaching my expiration date and

approaching my expiration date and

approaching my expiration date and just sort of give up I still challenge

just sort of give up I still challenge

just sort of give up I still challenge myself I'm still in love with life and

myself I'm still in love with life and

myself I'm still in love with life and I'm still trying to grow up

I'm past wondering about it

I'm past wondering about it

I'm past wondering about it I just try to be me

after I was said and done we have to be

after I was said and done we have to be

after I was said and done we have to be true to ourselves

true to ourselves

true to ourselves we have to be Who We Are

we have to be Who We Are

we have to be Who We Are Come What May

Come What May

Come What May say Levine

[Music]

you go there you go good look right up

you go there you go good look right up

you go there you go good look right up here for me

here for me

here for me good

good

good [Music]

[Music]

[Music] good I've been practicing

nice day

nice day

nice day [Music]

y'all come a little closer together

fantastic

fantastic

fantastic [Music]

[Music]

[Music] yeah

yeah

yeah good

okay

okay

okay [Music]

thank you good job

thank you good job

thank you good job [Music]

good

good

good [Music]

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] foreign

[Music]

[Music]