All language subtitles for SDCG5

Oh, it's lovely.

Just lovely.

A lot of girls cry when they see
themselves in a wedding dress.

Every little girl's dream.

Or nightmare, you know.

If you're fat.

(phone rings)

(Belle) Hello?
Do you do girls?

(laughs)

It says here yes
to anal, GFE, school uniform.

No to scat, stags
and water sports.

Got nothing against girls.
OK. What's the setup?

Threesome.
The client wants two girls.
Who's the other one?

I haven't booked one yet.
What about Rachel?

No, she's in Marbella.

Tanya?
She's going to see Les Mis.

Again? How many times is that?

Who knows? It's a sickness.

And what's the client like
that one of us isn't enough?

It's Ashok.

Ashok?

Every-second-Wednesday-
since-I-started Ashok?

The very same.

Sometimes two heads
are better than one.

(cackles)

I'll find someone
and call you back.

(women laughing and talking)

(woman) No, beautiful.
(woman #2) Stunning.

(woman #3) Ta-da!
(whooping and laughing)

It's not that I don't like
going down on girls.

It's just that I never really
enjoy going out with them.

Ooh! (laughs)

Right. You're supposed to be
helping me find a suit.

I know. Can you do this?
I'm trapped.

(sighs)

So? What do you think?

When is it again?

8 March.

1979?

You look like you just
stepped out of my parents'
wedding photos.

Shit.
Sorry. (laughs)

Oh! It's bad luck
to see the bride in her gown
before the big day.

It's all right. She's not the
bride, she's just here to help.

I told my best friend that
I'm a prostitute and he hasn't
said a thing.

We're both acting
like everything's fine,
but of course it's not.

So the night your sister
had a baby...

I can't believe
I'm asking you this.

Were you working
as a prostitute?

Were you doing it when we were
still seeing each other?
No. No.

And do you have, like, a...
What is it? A madam?

An agent, yeah.
She's the filter,
she always knows where I am.

Is it even legal?

For me, yeah.
For her... not exactly.

Why do you do it?

Would you believe me
if I said I enjoyed it?

(grunts)

You know I like sex.

So what is it
you're doing tonight?

It's... a threesome. Me and
another girl from the agency.

Who's the...?
It's Ashok. He's lovely.

(scoffs) "Lovely."
Yeah, he's lovely.

He's my oldest client.

He's like my friend.

How'd you even get into it?

(phone rings)

Hello?

It's all arranged.
You'll be working with Naomi.

Who's Naomi?
She's new.

I poached her from
Brompton Escorts last week,
so she's flying off the shelves.

If you know what I mean.
Anyway, the room is booked
from eight.

So you two can
get to know each other.
And it's that hotel close to--

...Ashok's office.
I know where it is.

Well, he'll be there by nine.

Lucky boy. I'm sending him
the crème de la crème.

Do you wanna go and
look at some more suits?

I should go.

Here, how much...?
No, it's all right, I'll pay.

No, it's all right.
I've got it.
No, it's fine.

See you later.

Yeah, I'll give you a call.

(Ben) How'd you even
get into it?

(Belle) A couple of years ago
I met a man in a bar.

He was a perfect
one-night stand -

funny, charming, great in bed,
no expectations.

And he even gave me
my cab fare home.

Or so I thought.

And just like that,
without realizing,
I'd been paid for sex.

Would I have taken the money
if it'd been offered up front?

Maybe.

Don't really know.

Either way, I did take it.

And I'm still taking it.

Today, a threesome
with another escort.

I'm hardly a girl's girl,
but I will go gay for pay.

Hello.

So... Ashok.

What's he like?
He's sweet.

Quite handsome.

Athletic, clever.

Kind of geeky.

Gentle, very polite,
and he always smells nice.

I was actually wondering whether
he prefers anal or vanilla.

So what's he into?

Naughty schoolgirls?

Nurse and matron?

Mother superior and novice nun?

Well, this is his first
threesome - I think -
so maybe just generic stuff.

Girls soaping
each other's breasts.

Holiday Inn porn.

Or maybe... we should
make something up.

Like what?

How about good cop, bad cop?

Ah.

I'll put you down
for good cop, then.

This is all quite fun.

You know - what normal girls do.

Oh, I forgot to ask -
do you, um, shave or wax?

Wax.

Good. I get stubble rash.

(knock at door)

Hey.

Don't look so scared.

Just getting into character.

(door opens)
(Naomi) Hello.

(stifled giggle)

(whispers) One, two, three...

(both start moaning
ecstatically)

Oh. Ohh. Ohhh.

Ohh... oh...

(whispers) Are we nearly there
yet? I'm getting wanker's claw.

You're close.

Ohh.

I need a pee.
Can you take over?

Ohh...

Uhh!

(Ashok moans loudly)

Oh, my God!

You're quite the athlete.

You're quite flexible yourself.
Thanks.

I wish I could say
it was down to yoga.

(Ashok chuckles)

What?

You two, debriefing.

But I suppose put two nurses
or two teachers or whatever
together in a room

and they're gonna
talk about work.

Glad you think of us
as a caring profession.

I do, though.

I read that book
you gave me.

And?

384 pages of misery,

in the world's
smallest typeface.

But beautiful.

Really beautiful.
I cried like a girl.

What time is it?
I should get home.

Uh... it's quarter to ten.

Is that all?
I didn't last long.

Oh, don't worry. A job shared
is usually a job halved.

So for you two that means half
the work for double the money.

I'm sorry - are you auditing us?

(laughs) No!
Good.

Thank you
for a wonderful evening.

And thank you.

You're welcome.

The pleasure was half mine.

That was fun.

Would you, um...

like to hang out sometime?

Does it involve shagging?
No.

Does it involve
eating Haagen-Dazs
and watching Pretty Woman?

Christ, no.

Then yes.

What's your number?

No, fuck that.

What's your name?

Hannah.

What's yours?

Naomi.

(phone rings)

Hello?

Hello. What are you up to now?

(both laughing)

Best present
a client ever gave you.

Hm.

MINI Convertible.

Worst present
a client ever gave you.

The hotel sewing kit.

What? (laughs)
Can you believe that?

Just 'cause it's not ringing
doesn't mean it's broken.

Boyfriend?

Friend. He's not taking it
that brilliantly,

the whole "I'm not really
a legal secretary" thing.

Mm. I still find it harder
telling girls. They might give
you a feminist polemic,

but you know what they're really
thinking is you're gonna steal
their boyfriend.

Girls think that
about me anyway.
Me too.

Um, half the time
they're right.

(they laugh)

I've never really got the whole
female-friendship thing.

But with Naomi we can talk
about men and sex and work,

because for us
they're all the same thing.

I go in there
to get my cervix scraped...

I wish you wouldn't say
"scraped."

...and you walk out
with a bloody party bag.

It wasn't much of a party bag.
There's no fairy cakes,
no party hats, just...

balloons.

Did you leave them
with anything?

They had a lovely speculum
and swab set I had my eye on,

but in the end
I just took the condoms.

And some pens.

Come on. Let's go, before you
make me take them back.

(taxi pulls up)

(phone rings)

(Stephanie) I've got
a new client for you.

28, works for an auction house.
Sounds like a Pathé newsreel.

Quite junior now,
but good prospects.

Well, so he tells me.

I'm shagging him, Stephanie,
not settling down with him.

When is it?
Next Wednesday.

Right. Well, it depends.

Wednesday's my regular
with Ashok.

Actually,
Ashok's with Naomi this week.

What?

Ashok is with Naomi this week.

So can you
do the auctioneer or not?

Not.

Fine.

Call me
when you've learned to share.

The end of the affair was
written from the beginning.

He's a man who pays women
for sex. I'm the whore.

At some point his tastes
were bound to change.

So why am I so upset?

Because who can I call
to say I had a bad day at work?

(phone rings)

Hi.

Hi.

How are you?

I'm good, yeah.

How are you?

Yeah, good.

Good.

Actually, I'm shit.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's the matter?

I lent someone a book
and I don't think
I'm gonna get it back.

I wish I had your problems.

(she sobs)

Will you come round?

You looked good
in that wedding dress.

Can't remember if I said that.

I don't think I did.

Did you find a suit?

No.

They were all as shit as 1979.

So I'm gonna wear a kilt.

Since when
were you Scottish?

My mum's granddad
or something.

I love that
about posh English.

Always trying to pass themselves
off as Scottish or Welsh.

You've never even
been to Scotland.

(posh accent) Hellish place.

I've missed you.

I missed you too.

While you were off
playing with Fanny.

I'm sorry about that.
The other day.

It's just something huge
about you I didn't know.

You're my best mate.

You're the only girl I've
shagged who still likes me.

Except for Vanessa.

Yeah. Except for Vanessa.

We go out and...

we have dinner and we get pissed
and we go running and we used to
sleep together.

Am I ever gonna be able to
talk to you about this?

I dunno. Try.

Even if I act
like a cock about it,
I still want you to try.

I need to ask you something.

It's a favor.
You don't have to do it
if you don't wanna do it.

You're not gonna ask me
to have sex with you
and Vanessa, are you?

What? No.

Phew. (laughs)

Others may pay hundreds for you

but I had you when all it took
was half a lager and a couple of
Marlboro Lights.

Will you be my best man?

I slept with someone last night
and now he won't leave.

I don't normally
do this kind of thing.

Can't you just tell him
his time is up?

No, you idiot. I didn't
charge him. That's the problem.

You're not really
a legal secretary, are you?

Ooh...!

Hi.
Hi.

Look, just go.

Some girls are too sensitive
for this kind of work.

You need to get
some perspective, Han.

See how normal people live.
Normal people?

You know what I mean.
That sounds dead exciting.

Can't you just take a break?

Did you hear me?
I said go.