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Synced
by Bakugan
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My name is Nathan Fielder,
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and I graduated from one of
Canada's top business schools
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with really good grades.
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Now I'm using my knowledge
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to help struggling small
business owners make it
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in this competitive world.
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This is "Nathan for You."
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In season two of my show,
I gave marketing advice
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to a small taxi company
owner named Andy Farshidian,
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whose business was being destroyed
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by the ride share giant Uber.
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_
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The idea was to generate
press by encouraging
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pregnant riders to
give birth in his taxi.
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But what I never saw coming
was that just a few months
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after that episode aired
Uber just happened to launch
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a new campaign offering
free baby onesies to anyone
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who gives birth in one of their cars.
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Encouraging customers births
to get press was our idea.
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And when I met up with
Andy to tell him about it,
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he couldn't believe his eyes.
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You know, you're right.
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They stole our idea.
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Did you know about this?
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No, I never saw this.
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This is the first time I saw it.
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After already having taken so
much from this struggling cabby,
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for Uber, this was a new low.
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Business had gotten so
bad that Andy had resorted
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to turning his cab into
a mobile karaoke booth
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in a last-ditch effort to
hold on to his customers.
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♪ Say my name say my name ♪
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♪ Around you ♪
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♪ Say I love you ♪
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♪ If you... my name ♪
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♪ Say my name say my name ♪
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It was clear we had to do something.
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So I sat down with Andy
to discuss our options.
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I never get mad.
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I'm very cool and calm all time time,
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but I am so furious that
they did this to you.
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They stole everything.
You know what I mean?
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The idea, the money, the
passenger, everything.
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They stole everything, you know?
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Well, I have an idea,
but it's pretty crazy.
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Talk to me.
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Uber may be a powerful company,
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but there's a big vulnerability
in their business model.
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Anyone can become a driver.
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So if we recruited a fleet
of disgruntled cabbies
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to sign up as Uber drivers,
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we could effectively
create a sleeper cell
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of rogue agents within the Uber network,
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allowing Andy I with
the push of a button
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to turn our drivers into nightmares
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and unleash total
chaos across the globe.
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THE PLAN: get Uber to stop
using those baby onesies
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by threatening them with a sleeper cell.
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A sleeper cell, you said?
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- Sleeper cell.
- A sleeper cell.
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- Not sleeping.
- Yeah, just a sleep cell.
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- Sleeper.
- Oh, sleeper.
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- Sleeper cell.
- Oh, the person asleep.
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- Sleeper cell.
- But no one's sleeping.
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- Yeah, I know.
- Right.
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- Yeah, okay.
- 'Cause once Uber realizes
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a large portion of their
drivers are under our control,
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they'll have no choice but
to listen to your demands.
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Very smart, very smart.
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And at that point, you can tell them,
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"Get rid of that onesie."
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Knock them down.
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That's the best idea.
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I love you, man.
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I, uh... I love you too.
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Okay, so I think that's good for today.
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Okay.
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I'd never started a sleeper cell before.
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But in doing some research online,
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I learned that the key to
running any clandestine cell
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operation is having a
communication structure that
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kept the identities
of the leaders secret.
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That way, if any of our
sleeper agents were compromised,
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they wouldn't be able
to rat us out to Uber
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and bring down the cell.
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From now on, we couldn't risk
using our personal phones.
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We'd have to get prepaid burner phones.
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So to make sure the purchase
couldn't be traced back to us,
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I anonymously hired
someone off Craigslist
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to go to a local Walgreens and
told him there would be cash
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hidden in a dirty McDonald's
cup outside the location,
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which he was to use to buy
up the store's entire supply
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of prepaid cell phones.
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The Craigslist guy was told
to then bring the phones
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to an abandoned pier
at the San Pedro harbor
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at exactly 1:15 p.m.,
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where he would find a
waterproof pouch hidden
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inside a white first aid
kit at the end of the dock.
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He was then instructed to put
all the phones into the pouch,
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hook the base of the pouch
to a nearby cinder block,
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and throw it off the pier,
where unbeknownst to him,
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I was awaiting the
delivery in full scuba gear
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beneath the surface
completing the final step
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of a burner phone purchase
that would be impossible
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to trace back to either me or Andy.
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Now that we had a way to
communicate with our drivers,
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we would need to figure out
the commands to give them.
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So I started researching
Uber Yelp reviews
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and online comments to see
what behaviors from drivers
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customers hated the most.
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The complaints ranged
from foul-smelling vehicles
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to telling offensive jokes
to blasting terrible music.
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But to know which combination
of these would be most
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effective, we would
need to test them out
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on actual Uber customers.
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So I had Andy go undercover
and sign up for an Uber driver
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account with his personal vehicle.
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And after taking it
for a final inspection
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posing as an average Joe looking to make
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a few extra bucks on the side...
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Yeah, I'm just an average Joe,
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make some money the side, you know.
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Yeah, I'm a normal guy.
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Andy was now registered as a
fully accredited Uber driver.
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And that meant we could begin our test.
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"Playing bad music," yep.
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"Bad smell, driver..."
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Driver what?
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- Gas.
- Oh, that's bad, yeah.
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- What's the worst of these?
- The worst one's
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driver gets lost... go 5 right?
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You're supposed to go to
5 North, drive me 5 South.
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That's it. They're
like, "No, it's crazy."
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Do you know how to do these, like...
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Oh, of course.
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I'm the master of these.
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You're already a bad driver?
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No, I'm not bad driver, but
I have lots of experience.
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To simulate the smell of driver farting,
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I brought Andy box full of ziplock bags
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each filled with a
sulfur-based stink spray.
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- So it's, like, one per ride.
- Okay.
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They smell really bad.
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Oh, they... oh, okay.
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To test the effects of bad music,
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I gave him a burned
CD with an endless loop
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of Lou Bega's 1999 hit
"Mambo No. 5" on it,
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considered by many experts to be one of
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the worst songs ever made.
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So with everything prepped,
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Andy turned on his
Uber app and headed out
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to pick up some customers.
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- Hello. How are you?
- Fine. How about you?
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- What's your name?
- Lori.
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Lori, yeah.
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Well, it doesn't matter the price.
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How did it come out?
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Yeah.
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Uh-huh.
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Excuse me. Can I... can
we roll down the window?
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Oh, the window doesn't
work. It's broken.
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- It doesn't go down?
- No.
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Oh, 'cause it smells in here.
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Oh, I'm in an Uber right now.
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I'm going someplace, and
the window doesn't go down.
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And it kind of smells in here. [LAUGHS].
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So... oh, wait. No, so I can't...
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Ladies and gentlemen,
this is mambo number five.
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- Oh, wait. I'm on the phone.
- I'm sorry. I'm on the phone.
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Excuse me. Sir.
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[UPBEAT MUSIC]
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Sir, I'm on the phone.
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Oh, my God. I'm gonna get out.
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♪ One, two, three, four, five ♪
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I'm getting out.
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The first ride lasted
less than a minute,
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and after running through our list
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with several other customers...
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Yo, I think I'm lost, man.
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You're lost?
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The most intolerable
Uber driver behaviors
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became clear.
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Turn off the music.
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Cut it off.
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Turn off the music.
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♪ ♪
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Turn off the music.
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And after a full day of testing,
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we got the results we were hoping for.
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Bad rating.
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- Bad rating.
- They gave me all bad rating.
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With our activation plan in place,
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we decided to name our sleeper
cell after Andy's dog Lucky.
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Because he thought it
would bring us luck.
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So maybe we get lucky,
you know, from his name.
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So I created a website that
would act as our main hub
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for recruits to sign up.
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Now I just had to get word
spreading amongst taxi drivers.
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Because I had to remain
anonymous while recruiting
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drivers, I went to a
local hospital pickup zone
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disguised as someone who had
just been released from surgery
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and began hailing cabs.
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- Hi, there.
- Yes.
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- Where do you want to go?
- Just circle the block.
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We have business to discuss.
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My goal was to get word
spreading that an anti-Uber
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resistance was looking for members.
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So how's the taxi business going?
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_
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Not doing as well as you used to?
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_
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Why is that?
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_
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If you're interested in
helping take Uber down,
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give me a call.
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I spent the entire day hailing cabs,
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driving in a circle,
and talking up drivers.
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Would you be happier
if Uber wasn't around?
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_
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Well, there might be a way to do that.
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Each of the business cards
I gave them had a burner
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phone number on it where
they could get information
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about a meeting that would
be happening later that week.
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00:09:10,691 --> 00:09:13,434
_
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The interested cabbies who reached out
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were given the address of a
local day care I had rented
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after hours, where they
were told the leaders of
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The Lucky Group would be speaking.
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So while the cabbies trickled
in and helped themselves
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to our spread of complimentary snacks,
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Andy and I got ready in
the back storage room.
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- Does it fit okay?
- Yeah.
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00:09:32,849 --> 00:09:35,616
But even with disguises, Andy
was concerned that a fellow
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cabbie might recognize his voice.
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I'm the most famous cab
driver in Orange County.
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- Everybody knows me.
- Really?
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00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,782
- Yeah.
- Can you do any accents?
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00:09:44,849 --> 00:09:47,949
Or can you disguise
your voice in any way?
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00:09:48,016 --> 00:09:51,116
So how about Southeast United States,
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somewhere around there,
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Louisiana or something in that area?
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00:09:54,516 --> 00:09:56,516
Sure.
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How was your day, partner?
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How is your business?
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The taxi's gone, man.
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That's Louisiana?
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00:10:05,016 --> 00:10:06,949
- Somewhere around Louisiana.
- Oh.
249
00:10:07,016 --> 00:10:08,516
Maybe it's not exactly, but
somewhere around Louisiana,
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00:10:08,582 --> 00:10:10,116
the Southeast, I know that one.
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00:10:10,182 --> 00:10:11,816
Yeah, I think that will work.
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- Okay.
- Sure, yeah, okay.
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00:10:13,816 --> 00:10:16,682
And with that, we headed
out to begin the orientation.
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00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:20,549
I'd like to apologize for the disguises.
255
00:10:20,616 --> 00:10:22,682
But what we're doing is
very sensitive in nature,
256
00:10:22,749 --> 00:10:24,949
so they are necessary.
257
00:10:25,016 --> 00:10:28,382
Firstly, thank you all for being here.
258
00:10:31,149 --> 00:10:33,149
We are The Lucky Group.
259
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:36,116
So we all agree that
the Uber corporation
260
00:10:36,182 --> 00:10:38,049
has destroyed our industry, right?
261
00:10:38,116 --> 00:10:39,216
[TOGETHER] Yes.
262
00:10:39,282 --> 00:10:41,649
Our business down 60%.
263
00:10:41,716 --> 00:10:43,116
- 85%
- Wow.
264
00:10:43,182 --> 00:10:45,016
Since Uber.
265
00:10:45,082 --> 00:10:47,749
As soon as Uber was mentioned,
a wave of frustration
266
00:10:47,816 --> 00:10:49,782
swept over the room.
267
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:54,616
Uber corporation itself taken
over everything, everything.
268
00:10:54,682 --> 00:10:56,749
It is completely unfair.
269
00:10:56,816 --> 00:10:59,516
We're working with our permits.
270
00:10:59,582 --> 00:11:02,216
We're working with background checks.
271
00:11:02,282 --> 00:11:05,482
You know, whenever I see
bad news coming out of Uber,
272
00:11:05,549 --> 00:11:08,482
I will see rape, rape, and
then, "We deliver puppies."
273
00:11:08,549 --> 00:11:11,816
I will not allow anyone in my family
274
00:11:11,882 --> 00:11:14,516
to ride in an Uber vehicle.
275
00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:17,149
Because it's... not
because it's competition
276
00:11:17,216 --> 00:11:18,849
but because it's unsafe.
277
00:11:18,916 --> 00:11:21,216
I cannot pay my mortgage.
278
00:11:21,282 --> 00:11:25,116
I cannot buy good shoes for my children.
279
00:11:25,149 --> 00:11:27,749
Listening to these stories,
I began to understand
280
00:11:27,816 --> 00:11:30,882
the human cost of Uber's
unquenchable thirst
281
00:11:30,949 --> 00:11:32,116
for expansion.
282
00:11:32,116 --> 00:11:33,849
And it's not me alone.
283
00:11:33,916 --> 00:11:36,016
Maybe thousands and thousands like me.
284
00:11:36,116 --> 00:11:39,682
I just hoped Andy would be
able to sell them on our plan.
285
00:11:39,749 --> 00:11:41,449
I think have more experience
286
00:11:41,516 --> 00:11:45,182
than any of you in taxi business.
287
00:11:45,249 --> 00:11:48,216
I started in taxi business in about
288
00:11:48,282 --> 00:11:52,582
1984, '85.
289
00:11:52,649 --> 00:11:55,416
1980 right here.
290
00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:59,682
Oh, okay, so you have four
years more experience than me.
291
00:11:59,749 --> 00:12:02,782
It was a bit of a rocky
start, but pretty soon,
292
00:12:02,849 --> 00:12:04,249
they started to get it.
293
00:12:04,316 --> 00:12:08,616
I want you to humiliate Uber driver
294
00:12:08,682 --> 00:12:10,616
and get one star.
295
00:12:10,682 --> 00:12:12,416
How it is gonna affect the whole system?
296
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,282
- No, no, no, no, no.
- What he's saying is,
297
00:12:14,349 --> 00:12:16,582
you give bad service to a customer.
298
00:12:16,649 --> 00:12:18,249
- Bad service?
- Yeah.
299
00:12:18,316 --> 00:12:20,216
- Thank you.
- And before long,
300
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,282
it seemed like we had won them over.
301
00:12:22,349 --> 00:12:24,582
From our company alone,
302
00:12:24,649 --> 00:12:28,449
I will tell about 250
drivers went to Uber,
303
00:12:28,516 --> 00:12:30,416
and I have contact with all of them.
304
00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:32,282
So they are sleeper cells,
305
00:12:32,349 --> 00:12:34,649
all those people holding
City of Los Angeles
306
00:12:34,716 --> 00:12:36,549
taxicab driving permits.
307
00:12:36,616 --> 00:12:38,116
So you have 250 people.
308
00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:40,249
I have... I don't have
to persuade anybody.
309
00:12:40,316 --> 00:12:43,649
I can give you names and
driver's license numbers
310
00:12:43,716 --> 00:12:45,949
in a matter of 25 minutes.
311
00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,116
The meeting couldn't have gone better,
312
00:12:48,149 --> 00:12:50,916
and the drivers were eager
to hand out our website info
313
00:12:50,982 --> 00:12:52,816
to all of their friends.
314
00:12:52,882 --> 00:12:53,882
I will... I have bunch of
friends I'm gonna give them to.
315
00:12:53,949 --> 00:12:54,882
- Really?
- Yes.
316
00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:56,682
Thank you so much.
317
00:12:56,749 --> 00:12:59,116
Within a week, we
already had 62 sign-ups
318
00:12:59,182 --> 00:13:01,149
in The Lucky Group inbox.
319
00:13:01,216 --> 00:13:03,982
So with momentum building,
I felt it was time to
320
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,616
prepare a short video to make Uber aware
321
00:13:06,682 --> 00:13:08,616
of our presence.
322
00:13:09,467 --> 00:13:15,286
_
323
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:18,854
_
324
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:22,995
_
325
00:13:24,525 --> 00:13:30,447
_
326
00:13:30,616 --> 00:13:36,139
_
327
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:41,117
_
328
00:13:41,289 --> 00:13:45,555
_
329
00:13:45,693 --> 00:13:51,725
_
330
00:13:53,328 --> 00:13:56,343
_
331
00:13:56,469 --> 00:14:01,672
_
332
00:14:01,829 --> 00:14:06,188
_
333
00:14:08,532 --> 00:14:10,860
_
334
00:14:12,742 --> 00:14:15,266
I was pretty happy with
how the video turned out.
335
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:16,988
But before sending it to Uber,
336
00:14:16,988 --> 00:14:19,654
I wanted to show Andy
it to get his thoughts.
337
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:29,488
It's a little bit...
338
00:14:29,554 --> 00:14:31,621
you go too far.
339
00:14:31,688 --> 00:14:34,888
After watching the video,
Andy seemed very concerned.
340
00:14:34,988 --> 00:14:39,221
It's not... they then sue
us, we go to jail, all of us.
341
00:14:39,288 --> 00:14:41,221
And that made me worry too.
342
00:14:41,288 --> 00:14:43,754
I hadn't fully
considered the legal risks
343
00:14:43,821 --> 00:14:45,821
of starting a sleeper cell.
344
00:14:45,888 --> 00:14:48,554
And as a Canadian citizen,
if I got charged with even
345
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:51,821
a misdemeanor, it would be
a violation of my green card,
346
00:14:51,888 --> 00:14:55,554
and I'd be deported from the
country I've grown to love,
347
00:14:55,621 --> 00:14:58,988
America, so I did some research
to see if there was anything
348
00:14:59,054 --> 00:15:01,388
that could protect me from deportation.
349
00:15:01,454 --> 00:15:03,221
And it seemed like the only
thing that could give me
350
00:15:03,288 --> 00:15:06,421
immunity was if I
married a U.S. citizen.
351
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:09,821
There was no one in my life
who would marry me right now.
352
00:15:09,888 --> 00:15:12,721
I tried asking Andy if he
would marry me as a favor,
353
00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:14,154
but he didn't want to do it.
354
00:15:14,221 --> 00:15:16,088
Just legal status?
355
00:15:16,154 --> 00:15:18,021
Yeah.
356
00:15:18,088 --> 00:15:20,721
I don't want to marry a man.
357
00:15:20,788 --> 00:15:23,788
So with the clock ticking
and no romantic prospects,
358
00:15:23,854 --> 00:15:26,554
I felt like the only way
to safely move forward
359
00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:29,288
was to marry Andy without his knowledge.
360
00:15:29,354 --> 00:15:32,554
My plan was to make it appear
to Andy like we were just
361
00:15:32,621 --> 00:15:35,621
gonna grab some Chinese
takeout for lunch one day.
362
00:15:35,688 --> 00:15:37,688
So I rented out a Chinese restaurant
363
00:15:37,754 --> 00:15:40,154
and redesigned their
menu to only consist
364
00:15:40,221 --> 00:15:43,221
of unappealing dishes
that no reasonable person
365
00:15:43,288 --> 00:15:45,021
would want to order.
366
00:15:45,088 --> 00:15:47,221
The only exception
was the house special,
367
00:15:47,288 --> 00:15:50,454
a chicken and broccoli
dish called Ai-doo.
368
00:15:50,521 --> 00:15:53,688
To officiate the ceremony, I
hired someone who specialized
369
00:15:53,754 --> 00:15:55,821
in traditional Chinese weddings.
370
00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,254
Oh, my gosh. I so nervous.
371
00:15:57,321 --> 00:15:58,688
[LAUGHTER]
372
00:15:58,754 --> 00:16:00,288
- Don't be. Don't be.
- Okay.
373
00:16:00,354 --> 00:16:02,654
- All right, so... so...
- To be clear,
374
00:16:02,721 --> 00:16:04,188
the ceremony's gonna
be entirely in Mandarin?
375
00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,154
- In Mandarin.
- That's correct.
376
00:16:06,221 --> 00:16:07,621
Okay, you're not gonna say a
word of English the whole time?
377
00:16:07,688 --> 00:16:08,988
No, I won't say a word of English.
378
00:16:09,054 --> 00:16:11,088
- Okay.
- Now, is Andy gonna
379
00:16:11,154 --> 00:16:12,454
understand Chinese?
380
00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:13,788
- Of course, yeah.
- Yeah.
381
00:16:13,854 --> 00:16:15,454
- Yeah.
- Definitely.
382
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:18,454
So this where I was
thinking you could stand...
383
00:16:18,521 --> 00:16:20,221
- All right.
- And do the ceremony.
384
00:16:20,288 --> 00:16:21,754
- Oh, really?
- And we'll come in there.
385
00:16:21,821 --> 00:16:23,788
Okay.
386
00:16:23,854 --> 00:16:25,821
So with our officiant in
place, I met Andy outside
387
00:16:25,888 --> 00:16:27,621
when he arrived.
388
00:16:27,688 --> 00:16:29,688
One thing before we go
in; it's really authentic,
389
00:16:29,754 --> 00:16:32,421
the restaurant, so it's
respectful if you order
390
00:16:32,488 --> 00:16:33,654
your dish in Mandarin.
391
00:16:33,721 --> 00:16:35,088
It's written out phonetically.
392
00:16:35,154 --> 00:16:37,021
Oh, okay.
393
00:16:37,088 --> 00:16:40,988
And with that, we headed
inside to get married.
394
00:16:41,054 --> 00:16:44,088
[SPEAKING IN MANDARIN]
395
00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:07,354
- What did he say?
- I think he...
396
00:17:07,421 --> 00:17:08,588
he wants you to order.
397
00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:11,721
Oh, you want me to order.
398
00:17:11,788 --> 00:17:13,988
So... Ai-doo.
399
00:17:13,988 --> 00:17:16,354
[SPEAKING IN MANDARIN]
400
00:17:23,088 --> 00:17:25,021
I do.
401
00:17:25,088 --> 00:17:27,554
I told the officiant I wanted
our marriage certificate
402
00:17:27,621 --> 00:17:30,521
to look like a restaurant bill
as an homage to our first date
403
00:17:30,588 --> 00:17:31,821
where we split the check.
404
00:17:31,888 --> 00:17:33,288
So you accept Visa, right?
405
00:17:33,354 --> 00:17:35,188
After Andy and I each paid,
406
00:17:35,254 --> 00:17:37,421
we signed what he
believed was the receipt...
407
00:17:37,488 --> 00:17:39,154
[SPEAKING IN MANDARIN]
408
00:17:39,221 --> 00:17:41,488
Officially making us
jie hun, or married,
409
00:17:41,554 --> 00:17:43,988
in the eyes of the state of California.
410
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,154
It was a little odd
sitting across from someone
411
00:17:46,221 --> 00:17:48,354
who had no clue they were your husband.
412
00:17:48,421 --> 00:17:50,888
But all that really mattered
is that I was now legally
413
00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:54,121
protected, so we could finally
move forward with our plan.
414
00:17:56,892 --> 00:17:59,489
I was still a little nervous
about delivering our video
415
00:17:59,552 --> 00:18:02,395
to Uber, as I knew that
once I sent this email,
416
00:18:02,458 --> 00:18:05,315
they would do everything in
their power to track us down.
417
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:09,267
So before sending it, I cleared
my entire browser history,
418
00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:11,467
including cookies, and destroyed
419
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:13,467
any remaining evidence
420
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:16,100
that could link either me
or Andy to The Lucky Group.
421
00:18:16,167 --> 00:18:19,733
I didn't want to leave a
single trace of our existence.
422
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,867
Even the daycare we met at was fake
423
00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:25,600
and designed from the very
start to disappear by morning.
424
00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:28,600
But when I called in Andy
to delete his Uber account,
425
00:18:28,667 --> 00:18:30,367
he dropped a bombshell.
426
00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:31,867
What's all this?
427
00:18:31,933 --> 00:18:35,567
These are how many...
you've got five star.
428
00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,300
This is...
429
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:39,567
No, but why have you
been doing Uber rides?
430
00:18:39,633 --> 00:18:43,633
You're doing rides every single day.
431
00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:45,633
Yeah.
432
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:48,160
Andy had logged hundreds
of rides on the account
433
00:18:48,267 --> 00:18:51,120
I set up for him since the
time we completed our test.
434
00:18:51,277 --> 00:18:52,877
Well, so is this your job now?
435
00:18:52,944 --> 00:18:54,411
Are you an Uber driver?
436
00:18:54,477 --> 00:18:56,111
- No, I'm not an Uber driver.
- I mean...
437
00:18:56,111 --> 00:18:57,677
- Well, what do you mean?
- You've done...
438
00:18:57,744 --> 00:18:59,477
No, I started to research
about that company.
439
00:18:59,544 --> 00:19:01,811
But you're driving for Uber full-time.
440
00:19:01,877 --> 00:19:03,477
- Because I...
- Andy, that wasn't the plan.
441
00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:05,111
- Yeah, I know.
- We're supposed to be...
442
00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:07,477
But I have to survive somehow.
443
00:19:07,544 --> 00:19:10,011
Andy admitted that he
was now relying on Uber
444
00:19:10,111 --> 00:19:12,111
for his entire income
445
00:19:12,144 --> 00:19:14,477
and had been keeping it a
secret from me for weeks.
446
00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:16,611
Why didn't you tell
me you were doing this?
447
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:19,444
Oh, I don't know why should I tell you,
448
00:19:19,511 --> 00:19:23,144
because, you know, compared to taxis,
449
00:19:23,211 --> 00:19:27,977
it's easier to go to pick up,
get the car, all those things.
450
00:19:28,111 --> 00:19:30,211
I don't even come from taxi anymore.
451
00:19:30,277 --> 00:19:33,244
He was now worried that if we
continued with the sleeper cell,
452
00:19:33,311 --> 00:19:35,544
it would affect his driver rating.
453
00:19:35,611 --> 00:19:39,111
And that's when I realized
Andy had been turned.
454
00:19:39,144 --> 00:19:41,344
When he took me outside
and showed me that he had
455
00:19:41,411 --> 00:19:44,911
transferred his entire
karaoke machine into his Uber,
456
00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:47,211
words were not even necessary.
457
00:19:47,277 --> 00:19:49,577
We knew this was the
end of The Lucky Group
458
00:19:49,644 --> 00:19:51,311
and our fight for the onesie.
459
00:19:51,377 --> 00:19:53,544
I had the first karaoke
taxi in the world.
460
00:19:53,611 --> 00:19:58,411
Now have the first
karaoke Uber in the world.
461
00:19:58,477 --> 00:20:00,777
I couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed,
462
00:20:00,844 --> 00:20:03,577
but maybe from the very start
we had been fighting a battle
463
00:20:03,644 --> 00:20:05,611
that could never be won.
464
00:20:05,677 --> 00:20:08,477
Just like telegraphs had
been replaced by telephones
465
00:20:08,544 --> 00:20:10,744
and horse and buggies by cars,
466
00:20:10,811 --> 00:20:13,444
the free market had
again chosen a winner.
467
00:20:13,511 --> 00:20:15,144
The real enemy wasn't Uber.
468
00:20:15,211 --> 00:20:17,311
It was progress.
469
00:20:17,377 --> 00:20:19,777
If Andy didn't want to move
forward with the sleeper cell,
470
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:22,744
there was also no longer a
need for us to be married.
471
00:20:22,811 --> 00:20:24,744
So I sat down with a divorce lawyer
472
00:20:24,811 --> 00:20:26,677
to explain my situation.
473
00:20:26,744 --> 00:20:29,577
Oh, so what did he think was
going on during that time?
474
00:20:29,644 --> 00:20:31,977
He just thought he was
ordering lunch from someone
475
00:20:32,044 --> 00:20:34,077
at a Chinese restaurant.
476
00:20:36,511 --> 00:20:37,457
Okay.
477
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:39,577
Fortunately, the
lawyer said our marriage
478
00:20:39,644 --> 00:20:41,277
would be easy to nullify.
479
00:20:41,344 --> 00:20:44,344
So that's where the
element of fraud comes in,
480
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:45,911
that you brought him to the restaurant
481
00:20:45,977 --> 00:20:48,077
under false pretense,
482
00:20:48,144 --> 00:20:50,877
that you performed the
ceremony without his knowledge
483
00:20:50,944 --> 00:20:52,811
and in another language.
484
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:54,577
But as I sat there
listening to him lecture me
485
00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,577
about all the mistakes I had made,
486
00:20:56,644 --> 00:20:58,777
I was reminded of the vows we had taken
487
00:20:58,844 --> 00:21:00,311
at that Chinese restaurant.
488
00:21:00,377 --> 00:21:02,411
[SPEAKING IN MANDARIN]
489
00:21:02,477 --> 00:21:05,144
I had promised to love and
accept Andy for who he was,
490
00:21:05,211 --> 00:21:07,277
not who I wanted him to be.
491
00:21:07,344 --> 00:21:08,554
I do.
492
00:21:08,656 --> 00:21:12,177
So if Andy wanted to be an
Uber driver, I'd support him,
493
00:21:12,244 --> 00:21:14,144
because no matter who he worked for,
494
00:21:14,211 --> 00:21:17,344
I knew no one could stop
him from being himself.
495
00:21:17,411 --> 00:21:21,011
Oh, this a karaoke Uber,
496
00:21:21,111 --> 00:21:23,744
so you can sing.
497
00:21:23,811 --> 00:21:28,111
♪ A feather in his cap
and called it macaroni ♪
498
00:21:28,111 --> 00:21:30,311
♪ Yankee Doodle keep it up ♪
499
00:21:30,377 --> 00:21:32,611
♪ Yankee doodle dandy ♪
500
00:21:32,677 --> 00:21:34,644
♪ Mind the music and the step ♪
501
00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:37,277
♪ And with the girls be handy ♪
502
00:21:39,711 --> 00:21:40,744
Hoo.
503
00:21:42,442 --> 00:21:44,562
So you're aware, Andy
and I won't be kissing,
504
00:21:44,877 --> 00:21:46,977
because he has an STD right now.
505
00:21:47,111 --> 00:21:49,277
- Oh, okay.
- Is that okay?
506
00:21:49,344 --> 00:21:51,277
- Yeah, no, that's fine.
- You don't have to kiss.
507
00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:53,511
- I mean, you can hug.
- Okay, sure, yeah.
508
00:21:53,577 --> 00:21:55,744
- But both of you have to sign...
- sign the papers.
509
00:21:55,811 --> 00:21:56,844
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
510
00:21:56,891 --> 00:21:59,320
Synced
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