Original subtitles

[upbeat dance music plays]

♪ Hello, hello, hey, hi ♪

♪ I've had enough of salutations ♪

-♪ Yo ♪ -♪ I think I'm ready to cross that line ♪

♪ You never know Tonight might be a situation ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It's hard to concentrate ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm so lost inside this mold ♪

♪ Eyes closed, start slow Let's just take a chance ♪

♪ I promise that you won't find out ♪

♪ You and me, we look good together ♪

♪ Even if it don't last forever ♪

♪ Fire whites and big flames together ♪

♪ All the night, you might mm me better ♪

♪ Pull me close, get a rush ♪

♪ Let it go when we touch ♪

♪ I'm a pretty little buzztail Never timid in the first round ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ It's hard to concentrate ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm so lost inside this mold ♪

♪ Eyes closed, start slow Let's just take a chance ♪

♪ Let's just take a chance ♪

♪ I promise that you won't find out ♪

[robot] Cheers.

Gloria, you are the daughter I wish I wanted.

Mariluna, you are the friend with a pool I finally have.

And you really know how to have a good time,

which means you should throw a party.

Maybe the kind with a splash of thanks and a sprinkle of giving.

We know you have family in town.

Thanksgiving? They would never come. They don't even know me.

That's a bad attitude, Mar. You gotta change your game.

Invite them. Get to know them.

It's never too late to manifest your way to happiness.

[both giggle]

[smooth music plays]

[Gloria] What do you mean we're not doing Thanksgiving at home?

You need a break.

-So Lucia's making a great-- -Dinner?

-Reservation. -At a restaurant?

Oh, way to phone it in, Lucia!

[sighs]

Restaurant it is.

I'm gonna go lie down.

[Ines] I'm sorry. I know how much you love…

love Thanksgiving.

What if you had upsetting information

someone needed to know but didn't wanna know it,

and you didn't know how to say?

Is it the bowl with the face? Did you see it?

-I never should've eaten that chip. -This isn't about the bowl.

Ines, I've been down a dark bowl hole.

I can't even look at them anymore, and I love soup.

I ate ice cream on a plate last night!

Sorry, what's your issue?

Tonio hired Rusty to seduce Gloria off a Craigslist ad.

Ines!

What the hell? How did you not tell me this sooner?

-Or her? -She hasn't talked to me in weeks!

I thought her and Rusty would fizzle out, but they're still together.

-With Christmas approaching-- -He's gonna stuff her turkey.

Exactly.

Before he mashes her potatoes

or puts his cranberries together to make a sauce, I need to tell her the truth.

So how do I tell her the truth?

-Anonymous email, like you always do? -I don't know what you're inferring.

Yes, you do, Mashedpotatolover460@gmail.com.

Shit.

You can't tell someone they're hooking up with a hooker over email.

That's basic friend knowledge.

While we don't shame sex work, because sex work is real work,

if Gloria doesn't know about the sex work, then there are consent issues.

And we need to tell her directly.

Wait, Rusty's faking it? [scoffs] This all sounds suspect.

I need proof.

[Demi] "Part-time help wanted."

"Seeking attractive teenage boy to flirt with teenage nieces

to distract from their dad's cancer."

-"Light housekeeping. Eighteen an hour." -So he showed up off that ad?

Oh, I'm really gonna judge him now.

If you bone and clean, you gotta make at least 25 an hour.

They're not boning!

He was walking funny yesterday.

Walking funny means chafing means they're still on second base.

-The dry hump. -I appreciate how knowledgeable you are.

So I know Gloria's gonna appreciate the knowledge you drop when you tell her.

Oh! No. No way.

I was dumb to be your messenger once and got punched in the face.

-We've all been punched. -Stand behind her when you say it.

She also donkey kicks.

Yeah, Cam has weak shins and also hates confrontation.

Fact. My cousin thinks my name is Kevin, and I've never corrected him.

Demi should do it. She's the most vertically challenged

and could duck a blow the best.

Or we leave the ad up on the computer,

get her to read it, and no one gets punched.

What am I supposed to be looking at, besides screenshots of boobs?

Uh, it's a crazy Craigslist ad,

and it's not here.

[car horn honks]

Rusty calls. Gotta go, but I'll proofread your crazy ad later when you find it.

Hey, where's your creepy sex worker wanted ad?

Which one?

Oh, the Rusty one. I deleted that shit.

In the last 15 minutes?

Yeah. When you guys left the room to get Gloria, I saw it up on the screen

and realized if she ever saw it, she'd punch me.

[sighs]

With no proof, there's no way she'll ever believe me now.

I saw it. I'm a witness.

Who's ready to get punched?

[scoffs] I mean, this, plus no Thanksgiving at home--

Wait, no Thanksgiving? What am I supposed to do? My mom's working.

-You can join us at the restaurant. -Or join me.

When I also join them at the restaurant. I don't wanna eat my sister's vegan shit.

-[door opens] -Forgot my jacket.

What are you all conspiring about?

Uh, Thanksgiving. [chuckles] Nobody likes their plans.

Let's go to Mariluna's. She's throwing her first dinner party in 30 years.

-You sure it's okay if we come? -One hundred!

This is so exciting.

I am manifesting this Thanksgiving to be the best Thanksgiving of my life.

[door closes]

Until she hears about Rusty.

Yeah, but Thanksgiving is definitely the day to tell her.

She'll be too tired from all the turkey, so her punches won't be as strong.

Huh! Yeah!

[soothing music plays]

Do you always keep your eyes open?

No, I was just checking to see if you were enjoying yourself.

Well, I was kissing you, so yeah.

Well, people can lie with a kiss,

and I was also looking for a sign to see if your feelings might be changing

because changing feelings is a you thing, right?

Yeah, you're not wrong. But I've been working on it.

I'm listening to a relationship podcast, and I'm also reading a book.

You're reading a book?

Oh no. [sighs]

Yeah, I know. Never thought we'd be the couple to skip the fun part

and get straight to the read-a-book-to-fix-it part.

When did it get hard?

Well, it's always been hard.

The hard part just used to be in my pants.

And now it's in my head and my heart, and, I don't know, it's hard because--

We're missing the drama!

-The sneaking! -The lying--

The will they, won't they? Now it's just, they will, they did.

And they're boring. Also, what I'm gathering from the book

is that I need to date someone who takes me for granted and learn from it.

And I don't wanna take you for granted.

I guess we're just meant to be friends.

Cameron, this was your premonition coming to life! It was about us!

Was it?

Whatever you choose will be the wrong choice.

Demi! But ultimately, you have to choose not to choose.

No one. And that will be the choice, and it will be right!

Huh!

And here I am. Single.

Oh my God, it's all so true.

Oh, I need to find that TikTok witch and find out about the spring musical.

Or maybe I don't wanna know if I'm gonna play Aaron Burr. But I do.

Oh my Andre!

Benji wants me to meet his parents tonight at Thanksgiving dinner! [gasps]

-And that's a bad thing? -Yes!

Breakups are hard enough,

but if I meet his parents in this iconic matching yet not matching ensemble,

they're gonna love it and me.

It'll complicate our breakup more, 'cause I don't wanna hurt his parents!

Why do you wanna break up with Benji?

'Cause he's a stage-five clinger who likes to be around me

and say nice things. It's a nightmare.

Mm. Sounds familiar.

Yeah. And… [gasps]

Oh my Andre. Is he me, and I'm you?

Was I this needy?

[gasps]

[grunts]

[sighs] Wow, I guess I'm never too evolved to hear the truth.

Okay, how do I handle him? What's my best path to a loving ditch?

And what am I doing with the both of you instead?

[Geny] It's so nice to finally meet you.

Mario's so sorry he couldn't make it. He's in New York.

And Ruby is in Marin with friends.

And the twins started fighting,

so we just left them at home as a gift to you and to us.

Right, Ruben? Ruben!

You look just like her.

Your face is her face.

-Yes. -And you have a lovely home.

Yes.

Should… Should we come inside?

Yes.

Great! Great.

[dance band music playing]

Follow! Give them some cheese. Maybe a hug.

Mm-hmm.

-Okay! -Glo!

We got a problem.

[coughing]

That's where she hid it.

Mariluna and I played a game where we made up games,

and hers was called Tupper-Where, and I guess it's right here.

-What? -Yeah, I lost.

Anyway, how are we gonna heat up the food?

Well, I don't know.

But we don't have to heat my cashew casserole.

-It can be served raw. -This barf isn't gonna cut it.

Tonight is Mariluna's first meal with her family.

It's her first impression, which is the lasting impression.

And we can't fail her by forcing everyone to choke on something

that smells like a crowded city bus or the 15th hour of a porn shoot.

I get it! It's not for you.

It's not for anyone.

You do know my boyfriend's in a gang.

[chuckles]

I did forget about that. Okay. What are the sides for the casserole?

Because this is also my first Thanksgiving with a boyfriend.

No offense, Davina,

but he's a meat-eating man, and he can't survive on love alone.

Did you just say "love"?

Yeah. Rusty said he's falling for me.

Uh-oh. Are you falling for it?

I mean him?

Gobble, gobble, bitches. Got the bird.

Where's the roasted turkey?

-In my hands. Got it from the best deli. -[grunts]

Don't go negative. I'll get my mashed potatoes going and--

We're gonna manifest a meal.

[line rings]

-[Dad] Hey, baby. -How are you feeling?

Still a little nauseous.

[Ines] Do you want me to come home? I can come--

Stay. Lucia's got me covered.

Hey, I told you to have a nice time, and Gloria promised me that you would.

So have fun. It's an order.

Already happening.

[Dad] Take care of your sister.

I don't know what's been going on with you two,

but you're family, and that's important.

Ines, promise.

I promise.

[laughing]

My sister must have loved you.

Oh, I was her favorite, wasn't I, honey?

Honey!

It's uncanny.

You're the exact same… but not.

[Rusty] That's good.

No, I know. I know. It's your favorite.

I'm really glad you had a good time.

All right. Night. Love you too.

-Hey. -How's your grandma?

-Good. No fights with my mom yet. -Mm.

It's good they're spending time together, but I miss my grams.

Next year, I'm gonna keep her for myself, and we can make her dinner.

We?

You and me.

Move, people! Everyone needs to work systematically.

There is a science to this and math!

It's science and math and a bit of art!

-Ready for butter? -[Demi] Are you trying to sabotage me?

Butter stays cold until the last minute to ensure a good melt.

-Right. -Potatoes are cooling!

You call this fork-tender? Move, stat! We're losing heat.

We need to get these taters back on the stove.

We still have 30 seconds to save them. Move, people!

-Move like you've done this before! -I've never done this before!

I'm gonna get some seaweed while you take it down a notch.

Same. My anxiety is on red alert!

Good! Go! You disgust me!

[scoffs]

[screams]

[sighs] I'm starting to lose it.

Is everything okay, or is there trouble in paradise?

Oh, me and Cam? No. No, we're great. Better than ever. We broke up.

What? You just said that so chill, which is weird 'cause chill is not your color.

True. But I'm chill because I have faith and a secret.

Can I tell you?

When I was three, my lola, who has a third eye like me,

told me something right before she died.

Did you also find out that your grandpa is your dad?

Never mind. I have normal-age parents. Go on.

Well, my lola told me I was gonna have many hi's and bye's

on the way to my forever penis.

Your grandma talked about a forever penis when you were three?

Well, she was dying and fairly stoned.

But she said he was gonna be the guy with the wonky wink. He just blinks.

That's silly. Who can't wink?

My forever penis.

Demi, can I borrow you for a sec?

We gotta tell Gloria about Rusty.

We gotta get her out of this fake situation before she has real feelings.

It's too late. She's already in deep.

Which is why we should let it play itself out.

Telling her isn't gonna change anything, and she'll hate and/or punch us.

So what? She hates and/or punches us!

-I can't do it. -I'm not telling her.

Tell her what?

Do you think Mariluna killed her husband too?

Wait. You think she killed her husband, and you still invited us to her house?

Tonio's paying Rusty to date you!

What?

It's true, Glo.

He put an ad up on Craigslist. We all saw it.

I think, in some Tonio way, he was trying to help.

Did you see Tonio write it?

-No. -Did you see it up on the site?

No.

-We saw it on Tonio's computer. -Which my sister could have orchestrated.

But I guess it's easier to believe this crazy lie

than believe someone actually loves me.

This isn't love. It's a paycheck.

Shut up, Ines!

I know it's hard to hear, but it's the truth.

What do you know about the truth?

I know I didn't tell the truth about Rusty having a girlfriend,

but I don't always lie.

You're right.

You can be honest.

I saw what you wrote in my BuJo, and that is true.

You are a curse.

You're the reason Mom died.

Mom had cancer.

Which magically appeared when she was pregnant with you!

[door closes]

[weeps]

[mambo music playing]

♪ I've never ♪

♪ No, never Felt this close to love before ♪

♪ How could I know ♪

♪ I'd find it with you On a crowded floor? ♪

♪ I've rumbaed ♪

♪ I've tangoed… ♪

-Are there more potatoes in the kitchen? -There were, but they disappeared.

Davina. She conveniently forgets she's vegan when she's drunk.

I put cream in the potatoes, you fake vegan bitch.

What?

Hello, party people!

Ooh.

[chuckles]

[grunts]

[chuckles] Oh!

Don't worry. The robot will get it.

-[clears throat] -[chuckles] The robot!

In life,

when you get to be my age, you have a lot of time to reflect…

[hiccups]

…and a good amount of heartburn.

And that heartburn isn't just indigestion.

It is also regret.

Regret for the life you lived and the life you didn't.

To my sister's family.

Your family.

To my family.

I promise not to regret the time I have left.

[all] Mm.

And we're going to go inner tubing

down a mountain or a river, depending on the season,

wear matching pajamas on holidays…

[gasps]

…and get a dog together named Bark Wahlberg

or Barky Bark.

[chuckles]

I've never had a dog, which is why I would need to share it.

[clears throat]

And, Gloria,

thank you for reminding me that sometimes the glass can be half full

and the creepy birthday room can be half empty.

[Gloria and Mariluna chuckle]

[chuckles]

What?

Oh!

[chuckles]

I'm sorry.

Now I'm done. Glasses up.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving!

-[Rusty] Um… -[Gloria] Cheers.

I'd also like to say something.

So, I fell into this crew because of a job,

but it is so much more than a job.

It's a family.

I can't tell you guys how grateful I am and how priceless--

Priceless! Interesting choice of words.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but inquiring dummies in the room

would like to know.

Did my tío pay you to flirt with and distract me?

[scoffs] I know it's silly. Just tell the truth.

-Hey, I'm sorry. -See, Ines? He's sorry.

Sorry? What are you sorry for?

I swear, as soon as I realized how much I really liked you,

I stopped taking the money.

-As soon as-- -It's true?

I'm gonna be sick.

Hey. Hey, Gloria. Hey, come with me. Let's talk this out.

Talk about what?

How you played me for pay?

You know, it makes sense.

How would you know what love is when your own mother never loved you?

Would anyone like seconds?

[Gloria] I was wrong.

No one can manifest their life into a different reality.

Bad things just happen to good people.

[crying] Rusty isn't real.

And my dad is dying, and I'm the dummy.

I've been so stupid.

I was born into shit, and that's where I'm gonna die.

Shut up!

I'm serious.

No, I'm serious.

Shut up.

That parrot you drew looked like a dick with wings,

but Rusty still let you win.

If that's not love, I don't know what is.

Oh, Glo.

You owe it to yourself to take a breath and…

[Ines] Stop being such a bitch!

I know you're an actor, but you need to drop the act.

-No one's buying it. -This wasn't an act.

Dude! It's done. She's never gonna forgive you.

I took a job! And when it felt wrong, I made it right.

Unlike you. You never made it right.

Bullshit. I came clean to you.

I told you I lied.

Yeah, but you didn't tell Gloria.

[sighs]

I didn't know how.

Neither did I.

I'm still hungry. Thanks to my selfish sister.

I didn't eat your goddamn potatoes!

Then who did?

I don't care! I'm having Joker pick me up.

See? Guilty, starch-eating whore!

I don't know. I made a lot. Can she eat ten pounds of potatoes?

Are you drunk?

No.

Wink. Wink.

[gasps]

-What? -Nothing.

Cam's my forever penis.

-[screams] -[Andre and Cam] What?

Tío Emilio has the potatoes!

Who?

The bowl with the face!

-What? -Time for everybody to stop drinking.

I'm my own problem, and I need to get out of my own way.

[Mariluna] You do.

Because Rusty not taking the money and admitting it

actually proves how much he cares!

And the dick bird.

He picked the dick bird.

I gotta stop being so judgmental and controlling and get vulnerable.

I can't let him think it's hopeless. I need to ask for forgiveness.

Bingo.

-Ugh. -You're welcome.

I gotta go make some apologies.

Go! Get your man. And then get your friends.

I have a surprise for you that needs an audience.

I don't know why it's so hard for me to just own my mistakes.

Maybe I'm worried I am my mistakes.

You're not. You're human.

Jealousy gets the best of all of us.

I'm not jealous.

Get off your high horse.

I'm not the one who willingly took a job under the guise of deceit.

No, you're the girl who sabotaged her sister 'cause she didn't get the guy.

You think I'm still into you?

Otherwise, why are you here talking to me and not your sister?

You're such a dick!

Okay, look, you need to move on.

Maybe if you get it out of your system, you'll be done. So kiss me.

Just do it.

I don't wanna kiss you.

Okay. Then don't, but move on.

See? Nothing! Nothing's there.

Rusty?

I know. I know I was an asshole.

You don't need to say any more.

Please don't.

But I said the most hurtful things to both of you.

I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.

Come on. Mariluna has a surprise.

Oh, come on.

[Mariluna grunts]

-Can we help you with that? -No, it'll ruin the reveal.

Probably what she said to her husband before she killed him.

Congratulations.

What is that?

A check, dummy.

But why? What's it for?

To show you bad things aren't the only things

that happen to good people.

Good things happen too.

Plus, I'm a rich bitch who loves games.

Oh my God. Is this one of those hidden-camera shows?

There's no camera, but there is a life-changing windfall.

What does that mean?

Money! How much?

Well, that's up to all of you.

I can either write you a check right now for a million dollars,

no strings attached, a gift, or--

Yes!

Or you could choose to spend that million in three months

with nothing to show for it.

And win ten.

Ten dollars?

Ten million.

-This is a joke. -No.

What does "nothing to show for it" mean?

You can't buy anything you can keep.

You just need to spend the money, but you also can't waste it.

That doesn't make sense.

It does, and it will if you choose that option.

How hard is it to spend money and get nothing?

[Mariluna] Ah, the story of my life.

You will have to see to find out.

But if you fail, you get nothing, so choose wisely.

[door opens]

We're gonna go.

I'll walk you out.

Gloria.

While I'm gone, make your decision, and then I'll sign that check.

And a small one that you can actually cash.

-[door opens] -What? [laughs]

This is so much money!

♪ All around, I hit every single club ♪

♪ Everywhere we go, everybody's doing-- ♪

[engine stops]

Damn.

How many stacks do you need to live here? [exhales]

I don't know.

But that RollerWorld stash would be a good start.

You still with that shit?

I heard Davina's sister.

She said that Jamal kid and that Martinez… [in Spanish] grandmother…

[in English] …found the RollerWorld money.

And if they found the money, then the money is real.

Even if that… [in Spanish] …old lady… [in English] …had the cash, she's dead.

Where's the loot? The… [in Spanish] money… [in English] …is Santos' money.

Yeah, from 40 years ago! That money is gone, homie.

[scoffs]

[laughing and indistinct chatter]

[Geny] So much fun!

Do you know what karmic coincidence is?

It's not even a thing.

[in Spanish] Look.

[in English] Dead woman walking with her family.

That bitch faked her death.

To keep our goddamn cash.

[sighs]

[car engine starts]

Oh.

I forgot the balloons!

Guys, this is crazy. This can change my life. Our lives.

A million dollars.

-Or ten. -Which could change everything.

Really change it, not just temporarily.

What should I do?

"Fortune favors the bold." Like Cinnamon said.

She was right about all the other premonitions.

[Gloria] No, she wasn't.

She said someone was gonna die, and no one's dead.

[suspenseful music plays]

Go away. This is private property.

You have something that belongs to us.

[indistinct chatter]

I thought there was more to your premonition. Was there something else?

Yeah, she said that one sister will be the downfall of the other.

You're confusing me with my sister.

My name is Mariluna, not Marisol. I don't have your money.

You're not fooling anyone, lady! Get us our cash.

I can't believe this is happening. My whole life, I expected bad things,

and bad things happened, and it was my fault.

I manifested it. I was a curse to myself.

If I'd had a little more trust in faith,

I would have seen the good that's always been around me.

Hey… [in Spanish] old lady! [in English] Don't go there.

[Gloria] I've always bet on myself,

'cause betting on myself has always been the safe bet.

But today, it's over!

Today, I'm gonna stop just betting on myself

and, instead, start betting on all of us.

We thought this box was a curse,

but it was actually a blessing.

It's what brought us all here to this moment. Our moment right now!

Screw the easy money.

Let's go big!

We're gonna spend that million to get ten.

We can change our lives for the better.

Finally get what we deserve and save my dad!

We're not cursed!

[all laugh]

[gunshot]

[sad music plays]

♪ I put my family over everything ♪

♪ And for the family I'll do anything ♪

♪ I'm a lover, not a fighter ♪

♪ But I'll still kill For the ones that I love ♪

♪ Screaming family over everything ♪

♪ You touch the family, I'll do anything ♪

♪ I'm a lover, not a fighter ♪

♪ But I'll still kill for 'em ♪

♪ I'll still kill For the ones that I love ♪

♪ Gotta change my ways ♪

♪ I need sun for the rainy days ♪

♪ What a son that a mother raised ♪

♪ I need love for the darkest days ♪

♪ Fill my heart and you fill my plate ♪

♪ What I saw when I came home late ♪

♪ You on the floor With your heart in pain ♪

♪ And mine breaks Wiping tears at your eyes ♪

♪ My mistakes, my missteps, and my lies ♪

♪ Tell the truth I'll be hustling till I die ♪

♪ Count the loot, split the dues You and I ♪

♪ Who you think I do it for? ♪

♪ I work five to four ♪

♪ I'm surviving for ♪