Original subtitles

That creates a nice atmosphere.

No comment. I didn't say anything. – We've got to start immediately.

What is the situation, Minister? – Tragic is the word.

The point of no return has been reached. The enemy can no longer be repelled.

What will you do, Minister? It may be madness, but we will do our duty.

To the bitter end. You can count on that. – What do you mean?

Gentlemen, I did not want this.

We will be on all the stations.

Ladies and gentlemen, after His Majesty the King

I represent the highest power in this country.

I declare that, from this moment on, the country has been placed on level three alert.

It is my duty to provide information on the nature and cause of the danger threatening you.

I will hand you over to General Adelbrecht Schimmelpenninck,

the Minister of Defence. This isn't the promised concert. Saint–Saëns, Miss Matti.

Mr Clement, stay here. It's your duty. Fellow countrymen,

soon there will no longer be any history to judge me and others.

Everyone knows how the international situation has evolved.

In recent days all kinds of conflicts more or less all over the world have reached their climax.

The use of tactical nuclear weapons led to an unexpected escalation of natural disasters. Countries that felt threatened,

used their nuclear arsenal. Radioactive waves are spreading.

Earthquakes and volcanic eruptions plague our continents.

I've received official confirmation that both in the USA and the Soviet Union

nuclear missiles have been fired at as yet unknown targets. We must prepare for the worst. The end is near.

The management is absent. – Axel is with Mira. Or Matti.

In exactly three minutes and sixteen seconds

I will also press the red button, so that our nuclear missiles are also on standby.

That's my chair. – First come, first served. I refuse to take such impudence – There is no point in surviving.

There is no point in fleeing. Long live the king.

Wonderful! ... two, one, fire.

My turn.

Sit down. Sit down. – What'd he say? Don't shout! – Attack!

Don't you feel very well? – I'm just cold.

Me too. Cologne. – Berlin, Warsaw.

And Paris. – No, not Paris. Paris.

Sit down. Ladies and gentlemen.

This is our last offensive. All together.

Fire.

Directing the destruction of the world isn't simple.

My compliments. The best spectacle in months. Everyone except Mr Clement was delighted.

The destruction of the world. Almost perfection. I'm almost an expert on it. You're almost a genius with dynamite. – I already am.

As long as you don't overdo it. – I won't.

Promotion? – No, but I'm a genius.

Good morning, everyone. Have you got a minute, Mr Woestewey? Just one.

Not now, Mr Clement. Maybe tomorrow. Of course, I understand. Thank you.

You're late. – I've never been so early. I've just had a phone call from ... – That can wait.

We're at work. – Not here.

You look tired. – That's what you think.

You'll see, it's probably overloaded.

I'd rather not think about it. – It's happened a lot lately. The mechanism needs checking.

We've paid for that, too. Be patient. Help's on its way. – He's shouting again.

I read in an article that someone in a lift had banged for two days and two nights. Just like that.

Don't worry. We're coming to help you. Fuck off.

Hold on. Are you OK? Can't we help? – I'm sure the machinery is out of date.

We should phone the fire brigade. – Calm down, calm down. There's someone in the lift. – How long?

Who's in there?

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Stupid, that incident. A short circuit, maybe.

Isn't that what I said?

Bellina. International interest in Belgian natural gas.

This isn't looking good. – What do you mean? New drilling operations have occurred. There must be huge amounts of gas.

Soon the entire region will be an industrial estate. Do you think so? They're talking about compulsory purchases.

Pieter Paul Himmelsorge from the Semper Vivax retirement home. The flowers for Mrs Bellina Woestewey.

Preferably today. At the same time. And anonymous.

Thank you very much.

It's hard to keep pace. Therapy every other day. It's getting more and more difficult for Pipo.

Mr Clement can't be cheered up. It would be better for Clement to leave.

What's on the programme tomorrow? – A visit by a VIP. Mrs Patricia Haegeman wishes to place her grandfather,

the Minister of State, on the waiting list. Interesting. What can we show her? – Puccini is to be continued.

Date: 06–08–1986 Presented: La Bohème Subject: Grete Muller Born: 18–01–1887

93? – Yes. With a professional approach. Scenery, costumes, rehearsals ...

She gives a recital every month. Highlights from the work of Puccini.

And everyone believes it each time? – Don't know of any exceptions.

Incredible. – If it is professionally packaged, the illusion becomes irresistible for many.

Some aspects of reality are more attractive than dreams.

I don't think it up myself. My assistant does, he's a genius. That man there. – Him?

Pieter Paul Himmelsorge. We call him Pipo. He's the heart of this establishment. I'd be lost without him.

I'd never have thought this possible. – We make the impossible possible. Our programme has a lot more to offer.

For example the safari, the flight in our hot–air balloon or the masked ball.

There's so much more, if you see what I mean. The trial. Come and see the trial.

See the man with the red carnation? That's Mr Krop, once a genius at the bar. A phenomenon at every trial.

Until that murder trial in 1937. Total failure in the Hulsthout trial. His client got life. The witch hunt and scandal proved fatal.

Krop became a manic–depressive, took to drink and ended up here with us.

The trial is restaged here once a month, but Krop always gets an acquittal. – Isn't that a bit absurd?

The therapy is effective and the results speak for themselves. Living to a hundred is not an exception here. Mr Himmelsorge?

My right hand and the director of what you call absurd. Mrs Haegeman. Patricia Haegeman.

Pleased to meet you. The manager has told me a lot about you. Mrs Haegeman has come to introduce her grandfather.

You knew that. – I didn't know that. We'll certainly consider him. – His great dream is dancing.

Without politics he would have been a great revue star. But in our family, you understand ...

That's his great regret now. Perhaps a great dance career is to be found for him here.

We organise happiness, but don't participate ourselves. A place only becomes available when someone dies.

No one dies here. People leave the home.

Anyway, at the moment there's not much chance for him. I didn't say that. On the contrary.

You must know your grandfather's political friends and former colleagues?

Yes, of course. In that case you can help us.

If you can use your influence with regard to the compulsory purchases,

then we'd certainly be able to make your grandfather happy. And you, too.

I'm going to get changed. I have to take Mira for a walk. It was a pleasure to meet you.

Do you have any unfilled desires? Something you dream of?

Then I will make it come true for you. Professionally. But with all my heart.

Who's Mira? She's not doing too well. She hasn't touched her food for two days.

Rehearsals aren't going so well, either. She reacts too slowly to commands.

Something's wrong, but what? – I hope this isn't the explanation.

In less than a week. And always here. I think that's going too far.

You don't drink, do you Mira? Or do you?

She's a good actress. – Axel is the biggest beast. He'll drink himself to death. One day you'll find his body here.

What's the matter with him? He has no reason to. Mind you, Bellina ... What's the matter with Bellina? – Nothing. Just Bellina.

Cabaret, nudity, the prettiest girls in town. Cabaret, nudity, the prettiest girls in town.

Don't you dare come in? Come on.

Cabaret, nudity, prettiest girls.

What shall we have to drink? – Champagne, of course. Piper–Heidsieck extra. – That's just the thing, of course.

Have you got some money? – What d'you think?

Enough? Of course.

We'll have a party. – That'd be great, of course. Why d'you always say 'of course'? – Do I? That's stupid, of course.

Does your wife like this fiddling? – I'm not married. Never have been. I know better. – Should've guessed. Leave it.

A drink will help.

Pussy's not used to that. Pussy?

Let go of me. No. Bastard.

No, not that way. Bloody idiot.

Honestly! Cabaret, floor show. Come inside.

After three operations to my back I started playing again in 1980.

And within two years I was back among the best in the world. I know that people say about me, "OK, he was a great player,

but he'll never win again". But today I'm standing here to prove them wrong.

How was your assignation? Looks like it was a wild night. – That's the word. A wild night.

He looked better two months ago. I tell you, Mr Himmelsorge is worried.

You can't complain, either. – True. The hunt is often very satisfactory. Due to the rights of the family

I have to invent uplifting stories about the previous night and evening.

I only do high quality acting. When I had tea with Eisenhower. I remember that very clearly.

The White House. His golf wasn't bad. Why don't you have done with it and leave?

Everyone can leave. – What's stopping you? You're not listening again. – You've told the story so often.

How's Bellina? She now weighs 142. She's not eating but is getting fatter and fatter.

142 ... You should see her. – Yes.

Living with someone you hate ...

Do you understand? No.

If I tell her she's too fat, I'm the monster, not her. She doesn't care that she looks like a group photo.

I sometimes think, 'Drop dead!' when I see her. In my dreams I sometimes get rid of her myself. With a bullet or a knife.

Or I drown her. Drown every kilo of that body.

There's a chance for you. You can think up the perfect murder.

Tell me, Pipo. You'll have to invent another excuse for my nocturnal absence.

I've decided not to go home tonight.

The gas, maybe? I'll go and see Bellina this evening and spin her a great yarn.

You've heard from a reliable source about international action regarding the compulsory purchases.

I'm calling an emergency meeting. – Not here. In Brussels, at least. – Luxembourg is better.

My text for the annual celebration is ready. When you've got time, I'll read it to you.

I'd love to hear it. The programme has to be decided tonight. We're late.

It must be a stunning demonstration of our therapies. The fall of the Hindenburg? The passage through the Red Sea?

Or even better, a drunk elephant. – You can be a swine. It's serious.

I know, but I was talking about Mira. She's ill. That's serious, too.

What's up, princess?

If you could talk, I'd find out more about what's making you sad.

The private life of an elephant is probably very passionate.

Are you really ill? Or is it just homesickness?

And being alone. It's well known that that's the biggest catastrophe.

Loneliness is close to my heart. Even after the hundred women I've had

and the thousand others I still want to fuck.

And you ... You can't help me either.

Don't leave? Do I have to stay?

Gently. Some tenderness maybe?

Passion can wait.

Basal metabolism. I keep saying it, Mrs Woestewey.

And now that increased pressure on both insteps. The risk is increasing considerably. You must do as prescribed.

And now breath in.

And out.

Hello, Ansje. – Daddy's out. I know. Is Mummy home? – She's with the doctor.

May I wait for her?

You've got a whole family here. Who gives you the dolls? Daddy. He travels a lot. – Yes, I know.

And Mummy gets flowers. – Also from him? She says they are, but I don't believe her.

Why not?

Mummy. Mummy.

I think they must've cost a fortune. I don't know about things like that. But you're certainly spoiled.

What do you look like? Would you like a drink?

Yes, of course. You look radiant. – That's what the doctor said just now.

Port? – Yes. Sorry for just dropping in. I've come to say Axel has had to go to Luxembourg unexpectedly.

He'll be home the day after tomorrow. – Of course. Great. – The reason he's gone ...

Is of no interest to me. Besides, I'd much rather you had the dinner.

Is something wrong? – I'm just looking. I'm pleased you're here.

D'you want some?

Do you feel death approaching? What about those wild stories about shady places

full of bones and ivory that you go to at the end?

Or do you just die messily like everyone else?

Won't you help me, princess?

Lift your foot up and put it on my head.

That's easy for you to do. No one would blame you. Do it. Do it.

Do it.

You're just a stupid elephant.

I'd heard you don't eat anymore. – I do tonight. It's wonderful to look at. – Look as much as you like.

You've received some beautiful flowers. – Fourteen times.

Ansje said they're from Axel. Why aren't you married?

The woman I love is unobtainable. Who is it? Do I know her?

It's you, of course. Who else could it be? You know I'm about to explode. Even drinking water makes me fat.

Then there's more and more to love.

Axel thinks you're a genius. I'm just a sales rep for dreams.

Sometimes I'd like to be there. I hear the most exciting stories.

Come to the annual celebration. Promise me you'll come. No, this body's never going out again. Never.

Hasn't been out for two years. And won't go out tonight.

Tonight? Erika's giving a concert in Brussels. Erika? – My sister. A better–looking edition.

Thin people can be ugly. You're chubby and beautiful.

And the doctor says, "Madam, you'll have a heart attack." You'll live to be very old. You'll outlive us all.

You'll become a merry widow. – A what?

A widow.

Italian quails? – No. Your favourite food. – No, thank you.

Or maybe just an ossobuco. – No. Why were you late?

Why do I see so little of you?

You've been drinking. – Yes. With someone of sizeable importance.

A lady, if you must know. – Bellina? She's no longer a lady. – She's still my sister.

Worse. She's still my wife.

There's dirt on your trousers. Where have you been?

I've arranged it so that I can stay with you this evening. And all night, if you want. Great, eh?

You're beautiful, believe me. I'm so pleased to see you. I've been waiting for this for days.

I like talking to you. I can only be myself with you.

I can tell you things I've never told anyone.

No, really. It's only here, with you, that I don't want to lie.

Fine. Who did you have a drink with?

Who was it? – You wouldn't believe me.

Who? – It was an elephant.

That's becoming. A real, big, fat elephant.

Get out. – That was my foot. And that's my shou ... – Out. I'll do it. – Out, I said.

That's my shoulder. And my chin. – Get out. I'll really do it. – Get out.

I'll really jump. I'll jump.

Erika, come on. Open the door.

You can have the rest another time. You don't mean that. Erika, come on, open the door. Open the door.

Come on, open the door. Erika.

One day I'll take you with me. Where to?

Jury, you've heard the closing speech of the counsel for the prosecution. Jan Hulsthout, 34, is accused

of having killed his friend and employer, Romain de Burghraeve, by placing explosives in his car

after he'd been caught by the victim committing adultery

with Blanche de Burghraeve, his wife. Now it's the turn of the defence. Bring in the accused.

Jan Hulsthout.

Mr Krop. – Stay calm. Don't react.

Sit down.

Chairman, ladies and gentlemen of the jury.

It is all too easy to, as the counsel for the prosecution did,

base our opinion solely

on what we know about the accused's past. The fact ...

Why is Mena on de jury? – More problems. With Clement? Something's got to be done.

... how weak his case is. The accused has never denied

that he had an affair with the victim's wife. On the contrary. He told us, and we all found it very moving,

what that affair meant to the two of them. A chance of happiness, the end to loneliness

and, in the case of Blanche, an end to humiliation

by a husband who treated her like dirt.

Who cheated on her without any respect for her dignity as a woman.

My client's past is not unblemished, I readily admit.

Let's say he never had any full or satisfying contact with women.

He wasn't physically impotent, but he couldn't get past his frustrations.

Jan Hulsthout underwent a transformation when he met Blanche.

Two people who suddenly discovered happiness.

Violence seemed to them the only way out. That was wrong, of course.

I don't deny that, but they wanted to make Romain de Burghraeve pay

for the suffering he'd caused his wife all those years.

We were dealing here with two people who saw their path to happiness cut off.

I ask you to be lenient.

I hardly dare ask you to acquit him. This man may have been capable of a murder,

but he's not a murderer.

I have confidence in you. I thank you.

Has the accused got anything to add?

I declare the proceedings closed. Jury, here are the two questions you have to answer.

Is Mr Hulsthout guilty ...

... you must answer in good conscience.

I didn't see you come in. – I was late. I'm just interested. – Yes, I understand.

He's starting to get impatient. – Who? My grandfather. – Oh, him.

Excuse me. How nice to see you. – Congratulations.

It looks fantastic. – It's the 112th time.

I'm now totally convinced. But I can't promise you anything yet.

Then I can't do anything about the compulsory purchase for the moment.

The chairman of the jury may speak.

The jury's answer to the first question

is no. Jan Hulsthout is found innocent.

He can leave this court as a free man.

What was it like last night? She was great. I was fantastic. – Who was it?

You don't know her. And she's indescribable. Try.

She can fuck in seven languages. Satisfied?

You haven't been here for 3 years. – You know I'm really busy. I've got to go to Amsterdam tonight. I haven't much time. Are you alone?

Axel is away on business, as they say. – Again? You're well informed.

Take a seat. – What's in there, Aunt Erika? A present for your daddy.

How long? Three years. All but a week.

Thanks for that detail. – I'm sorry.

Go ahead. It may be him.

Hello, Woestewey.

No, she's not home.

I want you to talk to Axel. – We'll see. And what will you do now?

Maybe I should start going out again. And two extra charges for the main attraction.

For one explosion. Remote controlled, of course.

A colleague will do that. I'll explain it to him.

You should stand here on the stage. For the speech? – There needs to be some space.

And the image as a whole is important. Presentation of the procession showing what we can offer must be clear.

Don't forget the fireworks. – They've been ordered. You think of everything.

I've worked out a routine with Mira. The elephant appears all decked out on the grass

while you talk about how far we go with our therapy. What do we do with our old colonial?

He goes mad when he sees an elephant. We'll keep him out of the way. I'll think of something.

Everyone on time next time or I'll complain to the commissioner.

Everyone must do his job correctly. I've been waiting ten minutes.

I won't stand for it.

That, too. I think they're going too far. You can't complain.

Yes, I know.

Be careful. Not so much noise.

He must be round here.

Madame Butterfly Saturday. I'm not ready with Tosca yet. Will you be quiet, Grete?

Don't move.

My 84th. Brilliant shot, even if I say so myself.

With the money I make from the ivory I'm off to the whores. For a month. Look at those feet.

Did you know that the pressue exerted by an elephant's foot is 675 kilo?

710. I've worked it out.

She did it perfectly again. The queen of the ball will be Mira with her big head.

One big bang and Our Lord is dead. Are you feeling OK? – Sometimes I'm a poet.

I'm seriously worried about him. Something's going to go wrong.

Smells better than a cunt, or not? – What did you say? You heard me. – They keep coming, eh?

May I know who the generous donor is? None of your business.

You're so huge I don't mind sharing. I could do without you.

If that's what makes you happy, then stay fat. But shut up.

I didn't say anything. – It's always the same old song. Even our arguments send me to sleep.

I've done my best to let you grow fat in the must comfortable of circumstances.

I've even changed my ideals for you. – I will get even fatter. Then I'll give you an even wider mirror.

You've been drinking. – And you. You look like someone who's dead and won't admit it.

It's not your glands making you fat, it's your ego. Am I supposed to be aroused by that mountain of fat?

Carry on reading. I'm in the shade anyway. 1:00:17 My God. – When did this happen? He didn't turn up for breakfast. We immediately went to look for him. 1:00:26 It was to be expected. I did all I could for him. 1:00:33 Nothing helped. His departure is arranged. Date: 23.08.1986 Presented: end of therapy 1:00:41 Mr Clement Vertriest has decided to leave our establishment. 1:00:46 We regret this, but we wish him all the best. 1:00:53 He sends his regards to all of you. His place will be filled as soon as possible. 1:01:02 And the first candidate who may be considered, is Minister of State, professor Theo Haegeman. 1:01:12 Mr Haegeman is 88 and after a well–filled political career 1:01:17 his aspirations are, among other things, in the area of dance. 1:01:24 Will they do an autopsy? – Nothing must get out about this. He was old enough.