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1
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,160
Eric...
2
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,800
I found this in the garage
and I want an explanation.
3
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:16,240
Okay, when people write stories and glue the
pages together, it forms what we call a book,
4
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:21,880
I don't want "the joy of sex"
polluting my house.
5
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:27,760
"The joy of sex."
What a load of crap.
6
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,920
That book's
for perverts, red.
7
00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,200
You should give it to me
so I can sell it to fez.
8
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,720
Red, the book is mine.
9
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,440
I put it in the garage
so you would find it.
10
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,200
Uh-oh. I'm late for work.
11
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:49,880
No, no, no, I am serious. It's high time you
and i put some zip back in the bedroom.
12
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,520
I got a great idea.
13
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,240
We'll put a tv in the bedroom.
There's your zip.
14
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,360
Okay, I want
the full fez treatment--
15
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:07,320
a wash, cream rinse and a lot of that
wiggly stuff you do with your fingers.
16
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,080
It's magical.
17
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:11,480
Abracadabra, baby.
18
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:16,760
So, danielle, what's on your schedule today?
I mean, besides looking beautiful.
19
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:20,480
Well, looking beautiful is from
10 to 12, then I have a date.
20
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,800
Ooh, hot date alert.
Tsss!
21
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,760
It's not that hot. The guy's
kind of a knucklehead.
22
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,160
I mean, he's really cute, but it's like,
when I talk, he's not paying attention to me.
23
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,480
Oh!
24
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:38,320
I hear this complaint
20 times a day.
25
00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,480
You're a treasure. He should
worship you like a big stone head.
26
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,640
You're so great. You know,
you really get women.
27
00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,640
Well, if you mean "get" as in
"understand," then, yes, I get them.
28
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,880
But if you mean "get"
as in "get,"
29
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,120
then, no, never.
30
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:58,480
If I had a woman like you, I would
give her anything her heart desired.
31
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,440
Maybe I should blow off my date
and go out with a guy like you.
32
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,680
And when I say, "a guy like you,"
I mean you, specifically.
33
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,440
Wow.
34
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,080
But just to be clear, I still
have a tip coming, right?
35
00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:02,260
steven. Steven, would you please stop
doing that? You're gonna get all eric-Y.
36
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,260
Give.
37
00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:09,540
Jackie, boys have to play fight because
they secretly want to touch each other.
38
00:03:11,740 --> 00:03:14,100
Yeah, you guys wish
you could play fight.
39
00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:17,420
But girls can't, 'cause it
always turns into a real fight.
40
00:03:17,540 --> 00:03:20,900
Are you seriously telling me that if jackie
and i wanted to play fight, we couldn't?
41
00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:23,180
Um, let me listen for the
echo of what I just said.
42
00:03:23,220 --> 00:03:26,220
Girls can't play fight.
Yep! That's what I think.
43
00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:30,740
I agree. Girls
are bitches.
44
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:32,980
Really?
45
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,140
- Come on, jackie. Put your dukes up.
- Okay.
46
00:03:36,180 --> 00:03:38,780
Watch and learn, boys.
47
00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:44,020
See, it's all fun and games.
48
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:46,620
Ow, you scratched me!
49
00:03:47,220 --> 00:03:48,820
Get off of me, bigfoot!
50
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:52,460
Let go of my hair or I'll
pound your tiny ass!
51
00:03:56,860 --> 00:03:59,260
- Spoilsport.
- Hey,
52
00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:01,700
yours is gonna kill mine.
53
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:08,100
Ladies,that was pathetic.
54
00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:10,460
What?
That wasn't even real.
55
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,540
- We're fine.
- Yeah.
56
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:14,100
I don't know what you're
talking about. I had fun.
57
00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:16,540
Oh, you're so immature!
58
00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:23,740
You guys aren't going
to believe this.
59
00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:25,300
Wait.
60
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:28,100
Were two hot girls
just fighting in here?
61
00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:30,100
No.
62
00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:32,140
Someone is lying.
63
00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:34,340
Anyway,
64
00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:37,340
I was just shampooing this foxy girl
danielle, and the next thing I know,
65
00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:40,100
we're making out
in the shampoo closet.
66
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:43,740
Wait a second, you're trying to tell me that you
were shampooing a girl and she got so horny,
67
00:04:43,780 --> 00:04:46,460
she had to make out with you
in the shampoo closet?
68
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,460
That doesn't sound real, man.
That sounds like a mad lib.
69
00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:56,060
Yeah, are you sure you
weren't just kissing a mop?
70
00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:00,740
'Cause, man, I've
seen you do that.
71
00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,020
No, no.
72
00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:06,380
Danielle kept going on and on about this
adorable knucklehead she was dating,
73
00:05:06,380 --> 00:05:08,820
and I just sympathized
with her problems.
74
00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:10,700
Well, that makes sense.
75
00:05:10,740 --> 00:05:13,540
I mean, all a woman really
wants is a man who listens.
76
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:14,860
I listen.
77
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:17,540
And doesn't pat
himself on the back.
78
00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:20,940
I never pat myself
on the back.
79
00:05:21,220 --> 00:05:23,420
So, yeah, I got that
going for me.
80
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:28,180
You guys, something happened today
that has never happened to me before.
81
00:05:28,220 --> 00:05:30,580
Oh, you did long division?
82
00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:33,460
No, I got stood up.
83
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:36,940
I was supposed to meet this girl danielle
after her haircut, and she never showed.
84
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:38,380
Danielle!
85
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,420
Danielle?
86
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:43,460
Okay, wait a second, first
a girl fight and now this?
87
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:45,980
I vote "best day ever."
88
00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:52,260
Kelso is the adorable knucklehead.
89
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:55,860
Hey, thanks, fez, but I'm
trying to tella story here.
90
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:59,220
Okay, so I've been trying to figure
out why she didn't show,
91
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,700
and I've come to the only
logical conclusion--
92
00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:03,380
she's dead.
93
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,700
Kelso, maybe danielle met a guy
that she likes better than you.
94
00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:12,340
Don't be crazy, fez. Danielle is dead,
and wecan never bring her back.
95
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:19,980
Kitty, we don't need
"the joy of sex."
96
00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:25,100
Well, why not? It's not dirty. This book--
it doesn't even have photographs, just
97
00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:27,260
sketches.
98
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:31,420
But they're so detailed.
They draw in every single part.
99
00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:33,660
And it's not to scale.
100
00:06:34,580 --> 00:06:37,260
Oh, here's a fun idea.
101
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:38,620
okay.
102
00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:45,020
Instead of throwing away our old dish
towels, we can use them as blindfolds
103
00:06:45,060 --> 00:06:49,780
and play a sexy bedroom
version of marco polo.
104
00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:54,580
oh, come on. Don't you want to be
one of those fun, older couples?
105
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:59,420
Kitty, I want us to grow old
and withdraw into ourselves.
106
00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:02,860
Hey, what's for lunch?
107
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:07,180
Well, I was thinking of making something, but that
would mean I would have to look at a cookbook,
108
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,900
and I don't like to learn
new things from books.
109
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:14,980
Yeah, so is
lunch off or, um...
110
00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:18,420
I mean, what's the lay
of the lunch land here?
111
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:23,460
I don't see why I have to read
a book on bodily functions.
112
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:27,700
I've never read a book on eating,
yet I'm extremely well fed.
113
00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:30,180
But I'm not.
Could I, like...
114
00:07:31,460 --> 00:07:34,060
seriously, like a
sandwich or...
115
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:35,980
well, you know what?
116
00:07:36,260 --> 00:07:40,260
Nobody is eating unless you
give this book a try. Until then,
117
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:42,300
I quit cooking.
118
00:07:44,820 --> 00:07:47,420
Wow, I can't believe I'm
asking you this, but
119
00:07:47,740 --> 00:07:50,260
please have kinky sex
with my mother.
120
00:07:57,140 --> 00:08:01,340
No, danielle, I love your outfit. But
I just think you can always go tighter.
121
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:04,900
Oh, my god!
Danielle, you're alive!
122
00:08:04,940 --> 00:08:06,780
Yeah, why
wouldn't I be?
123
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,220
Well,
124
00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:11,940
thenif you're not dead, then--
then why did you blow off our date?
125
00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:14,620
Look at him try
and put it together.
126
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,860
He's got it now.
127
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:20,100
No, wait, he doesn't.
128
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:23,540
Yeah, now--wow.
Not yet. Wow.
129
00:08:23,740 --> 00:08:26,740
This is, like, the
slowest burn ever.
130
00:08:26,820 --> 00:08:30,900
This is like how burns were in the
1800s before we had electricity.
131
00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:34,740
Danielle stood you up so she could make out
with the adorable new man in her life.
132
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:36,500
Ah--me.
133
00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:39,380
That's right.
Ah--him.
134
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,560
Don't bump me.
135
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,560
Don't get in
my way.
136
00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:02,840
Well, maybe I wouldn't be in your way if you could sit
still like a normal person instead of a vibrating spazoid.
137
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:04,600
Really?
138
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:08,640
Well, guess what.
You fight like a poor girl.
139
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,280
get off me!
140
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,040
get off me!
141
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,400
this ain't over, squatty!
142
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:18,320
Get off. I'm going.
143
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:24,280
Hey, if they're gonna keep this up,
we should invest in a video camera.
144
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:30,360
All right, fez, stand up so I can kick your ass.
How dare you steal a girl out from under me!
145
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,280
First of all, I can do
whatever I want.
146
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:37,680
Second of all, when I stole her,
she was not under you, she was under moi.
147
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,080
That's it.
148
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,640
Whoa! Whoa!
Guys, listen.
149
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:46,080
I just realized I am not strong enough
to hold you two apart. Hyde, come on.
150
00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:51,120
Kelso,
151
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:54,480
Maybe you shouldn't be asking what he did.
You should be asking what you did to let it happen.
152
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,360
Or what you didn't do.
153
00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,440
You know, maybe you
just lost your mojo.
154
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,640
Look, a guy can't
just lose his mojo, okay?
155
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,160
Can he?
156
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,680
Well, when was the last time
you made out with two girls at once?
157
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:09,800
that was...
158
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,520
oh, no.
159
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,480
I can't remember.
160
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,160
Kissed four different girls
in the same day?
161
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,120
I don't know!
162
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,120
You guys, I might've
lost my mojo.
163
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,800
And I got it.
I got your mojo.
164
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,160
Which reminds me,
I also have your yo-yo, so...
165
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,840
I want 'em both back.
166
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,640
You know, how can I lose a girl to you?
You don't even speak english.
167
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,800
Well, kelso, look at
the bright side.
168
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,840
Danielle is a wonderful girl
who likes me better than you.
169
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,000
Why is that
the bright side?
170
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,800
Because...
burn !!!
171
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,760
these are stale.
172
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,560
Well, eat slow.
We gotta make 'em last.
173
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,520
Hey ya, red.
174
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:12,360
Eric told me you and kitty are having a little
trouble in the old hee-hoo department.
175
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,800
You told bob?
176
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,600
Are you
out of your puny mind?
177
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,280
Look, you have to work
this stuff out with mom.
178
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,760
She hasn't fed us in
three days. Dad,
179
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,240
I can't afford
not to eat.
180
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,560
Yesterday I ate a
raisin off the floor.
181
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,920
I'm not even sure
if it was really a raisin.
182
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,160
Look, red,
183
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,360
you should take kitty's request
for a love life spice up seriously.
184
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,680
When midge wanted
to turbocharge our love life,
185
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:42,800
it was really a symptom
of a much deeper marital problem.
186
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,920
Yeah, that you
were deviants.
187
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:49,280
Deviants? Well, the couple we were
dating sure didn't seem to think so.
188
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,800
I'm tellin' you, this problem
is not just about sex.
189
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:53,880
It isn't?
190
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:57,480
Well, maybe she's just unhappy emotionally.
Wouldn't that be wonderful?
191
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:01,000
No, red. It means you have a problem.
And you have to deal with it.
192
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,080
Yeah, okay.
193
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:08,400
Yeah, I guess it's important that kitty get
listened to. Eric, go listen to your mother.
194
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,200
Why me?
195
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,040
Because without food,
you'll die first.
196
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,240
So, danielle, tell me again how much
more you like me than kelso.
197
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,760
Well, you're sensitive
198
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,160
and thoughtful
and understanding
199
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,880
and very, very sexy.
200
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,360
Lady, don't ever
stop talking.
201
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,720
And you're funny
and sweet.
202
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,920
And did I mention?
Very, very sexy.
203
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,120
Lady, you gotta shut up.
204
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,200
So, mom, in the
interest of returning
205
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:47,120
regular meal service
to my now shattered life...
206
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,560
I'm here to help. So, uh, just
tell me the problem beneath
207
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,760
the dirty,
gross problem.
208
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:55,880
Honey, there is none.
209
00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:01,400
I just want your father and me to have
more adventurous sexual intercourse.
210
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:05,160
Well, this is one of those times
I'm kinda happy my stomach's empty.
211
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,440
Um, look, instead
of calling it,
212
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,120
uh, sexual inter--ah.
Ahem.
213
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,320
Instead of
calling it that,
214
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,520
why don't we call it,
like, a walk in the park?
215
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:23,520
Fine. I want your father and ito have
more adventurous walks in the park.
216
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,920
I want to walk in the
park in the kitchen.
217
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,280
walk in the park
on a tuesday.
218
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,840
I even want to walk
in the park in the park.
219
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,200
Okay, okay, okay.
220
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,320
Okay, um...
221
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:40,320
okay, um, mom, I think you're--
you're playing this all wrong.
222
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,200
Dad wants you to have
a deeper emotional issue.
223
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,680
Invent one.
224
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,080
He'll give you anything you
want to avoid talking about
225
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,880
walks in the park.
226
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:54,200
So think big. You know, I might be able to
get you diamonds here. Maybe even a new car.
227
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,920
This is like emotional "price is right,"
baby. You're in the showcase.
228
00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,480
Oh!
229
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:03,760
I also want to walk in the
park during "the price is right."
230
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,000
Well, what's the news?
231
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,520
You better start studying.
232
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:30,520
All right.
233
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,240
So I spent the whole day thinking
about what happened with danielle.
234
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,360
And I realized that
I shouldn't be mad at you.
235
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,880
I should be asking
you for help.
236
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,400
Holy crap, man. Now you're
asking fez for girl advice?
237
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:47,040
Next thing you know donna's gonna be
asking forman how to throw a ball.
238
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,440
Look, he's the one
with the girl.
239
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,400
All right, fez. So
where'd I go wrong?
240
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:55,400
Well, danielle said you were a bad listener
and I'm a good listener. I heard her.
241
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,520
But so what?
I hurt girls all the time.
242
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,360
No, not "hurt."
Heard.I heard.
243
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,000
- You heard what?
- Danielle.I heard danielle.
244
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,760
Why'd she choose you over me?
Jeez. It's like talking to a 2 year old here.
245
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:14,440
She chose fez because he listens when a
woman talks instead of staring at her chest.
246
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,960
Stop staring
at my chest!
247
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:22,760
I'm sorry. Look, I've been
screwed by darwinism.
248
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:27,760
I never needed to evolve listening skills
'cause my looks are so highly developed.
249
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,120
Oh, that's not
how evolution works.
250
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,600
Yeah, sure it is.
Look,
251
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:36,120
say I had to catch my own food, right?
But I only ate really fast animals.
252
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:39,320
My feet would eventually
evolve into rockets.
253
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,480
Man, it's amazing your brain
doesn't evolve into pudding.
254
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,360
All right, fez,come on.
I need your help.
255
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,240
Why should I help you?
256
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,800
B-because you owe me.
257
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:57,080
Think about all the times that I set you up
with my dates' less-pretty friends.
258
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,440
That's true. You have
thrown me some uggos.
259
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,160
All right, so show
a little appreciation.
260
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,680
Fine.
261
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:09,040
But you have to promise not to use what
I teach you on danielle to get her back.
262
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,680
- She's mine.
- Done.
263
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,960
Okay, donna,
I need your help.
264
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,200
Now sit here
and pretend to be a girl.
265
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,120
Now tell a girlie story.
Kelso,
266
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,760
you listen and repeat
back whatever she says.
267
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,800
- Okay, you ready?
- Yeah.
268
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,880
kelso, I had the worst day.
269
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,880
I didn't know what shoes to wear--
with a heel, without a heel...
270
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,200
I'm running out of firecrackers.
271
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,360
I bet I could a been best
friends with spider-man.
272
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,800
Is that a new muscle?
273
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:45,200
Well, hello, new muscle.
Welcome to kelso town.
274
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:46,800
Kelso.
275
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,280
Kelso!
276
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,120
What?
277
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,040
You weren't
even listening.
278
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,040
How do you know?
279
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,400
'Cause you were staring at the ceiling
with your tongue hanging out.
280
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,400
Kelso, when a woman talks,
281
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:01,200
you have to look her in the eyes and pretend
her words are like oxygen and without them,
282
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:02,920
you can't breathe.
283
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,320
But I don't care
what she says.
284
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,960
How the heck
did you ever get a girl?
285
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:15,240
I don't know. I just stare at her
until she stops talking, then I kiss her.
286
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,240
Unbelievable.
287
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,200
All right, kitty.
288
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,200
I want you to be
happy,I really do.
289
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:36,680
And to make that beautiful,
illusive dream come true,
290
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,880
I'm willing to try
page 46.
291
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,800
Really?
292
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,120
Oh, red, thank you.
293
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,360
Oh.
294
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:55,160
Page 46--
that is so fancy.
295
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,000
what?
296
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,040
Oh, dear god, no!
Not, uh,
297
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:04,200
not page 46. I meant
page 47. Page 47.
298
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,520
And no funny stuff
after I fall asleep.
299
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,960
And I didn't know what to do because I had
just polished my nails and I didn't wanna
300
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,880
mess up my manicure.
301
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:21,400
You're such a good listener.
I can't take it anymore.
302
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,480
What are you doing?
Get off my lady!
303
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,200
- Fez!
- You shut your hot little mouth.
304
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,920
You promised you wouldn't use
anything I taught you on danielle.
305
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,320
Come on, you can't give me a gun
and expect me not to shoot people with it.
306
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,680
Danielle, you have to choose.
Him or me?
307
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,000
- But I--
- I said choose, woman!
308
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,360
Well, fez, if I have to choose between the
two of you, I mean, the choice is obvious.
309
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,200
I choose you, fez.
310
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,160
What are you, stupid?
311
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,120
I mean, I mean, of course.
Yes, good choice. Yes.
312
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,040
Wait. Him? How can
you choose him?
313
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:55,840
I don't know. I guess I have this thing
for guys who boss me around.
314
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,720
I'll meet you in the car, or
wherever you tell me to meet you.
315
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,240
Oh, you'll meet me in
the car,and you'll like it.
316
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,920
I will.
317
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:09,760
Okay,
318
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,920
here's the thing, fez...
319
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,640
she's clearly a lunatic,
320
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:21,160
which means that she'sgonna be super
hot in bed, so congratulations on that one.
321
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:25,560
But you did snake her from me.
So I get a free punch.
322
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,760
But you did snake her back, so...
323
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,760
How do guys play fight
without getting into a real fight?
324
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:51,240
Well, maybe'cause when they fight, michael
doesn't elbow everything like a blonde tard-O.
325
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,480
See? Now that is gonna
get your ass kicked.
326
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:59,280
Oh, I'm gonna punch you
in your fat melon head.
327
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,720
Good luck reaching
it, tiny loser.
328
00:20:15,220 --> 00:20:16,940
Thanks, tommy.
329
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,900
Is that bacon I smell?
330
00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:25,540
Oh, what a perfect morning.
331
00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:28,420
- Marco!
- Polo!
332
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,180
Oh, my god!
26601
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