Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:04,433
Bowfinger International Pictures.
2
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,596
Hi, this is Cherisse from AT&T.
3
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:09,800
We're wondering if your payment
for $543 has gone astray.
4
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,001
Could you call us?
5
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:13,908
Just a reminder. We no longer need
access to your residence...
6
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:16,311
to disconnect your phone.
7
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:06,458
Wow. Great script.
8
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,794
Great script.
9
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:23,942
Betsy, it's now or never.
10
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,546
We are gonna make a movie.
11
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:30,781
- Bowfinger International Pictures.
- It's Carol.
12
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:34,917
How do I say this? I have an offer
to go to Edmonton to do Cats.
13
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,120
It's a small role, but
I've got to take it.
14
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,425
- You keep promising me...
- No!
15
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,433
- But it's been eight months.
- Carol, don't take that job.
16
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,060
We are going to make a motion picture.
I promise you that.
17
00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:47,730
- But you've promised before.
- I know. I know.
18
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,228
- Just be here tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.
- But I can't afford...
19
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:52,299
- Please!
- But you always...
20
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:02,544
This is Dave. Beep comin'.
21
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:05,089
Dave, can you get me
a Mercedes tomorrow?
22
00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:08,683
And I want you to find out when and
where Jerry Renfro is having lunch.
23
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,955
Just do it. Don't think about it.
Just do it.
24
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,962
You're my buddy.
25
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,037
Come on.
26
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,595
Hello?
27
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,870
Afrim? It's Bowfinger. Great script.
28
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:25,965
It is?
29
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,570
You wrote a great script.
Your accounting days are over.
30
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:32,139
Ha! He likes my script!
31
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,150
Afrim? Afrim?
32
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,983
- Just be here tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.
- Yes, boss
33
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,078
10:00 a.m.
34
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,268
- Slater.
- Who is this?
35
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:54,862
- Bowfinger. Don't hang up.
- Bye.
36
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:59,172
- Just be here tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.
- Ah, man, that's early.
37
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,542
Big meeting, 10:00 a.m. Please?
38
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:18,358
You believe in me, don't you, Betsy?
39
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:49,453
First of all, thank you for coming.
40
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:52,554
Now, I know things have
been a little slow.
41
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,232
- Very slow.
- Slow and low.
42
00:05:55,332 --> 00:05:57,169
Let him speak.
43
00:05:57,269 --> 00:06:00,432
We are not the big guys.
We are the little guys.
44
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:04,100
We never had muscle
before, but now we do.
45
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:07,202
Because last night I
read a screenplay...
46
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:09,747
that every studio in
town is going to want.
47
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:12,784
And how did we get this screenplay?
Because Afrim here...
48
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:16,411
is a damn fine writer, as well as
accountant and part-time receptionist.
49
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:21,050
I said, "Afrim, if you can write
as well as you can add..."
50
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:25,221
Well, I didn't even have to finish
my sentence. Twelve days later,
51
00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:28,266
he hands me this... this masterpiece.
52
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,494
- Oh, thank you, boss.
- All right.
53
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,298
Tell 'em the title.
54
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:35,966
- "Chubby Rain."
- What?
55
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,940
"Chubby Rain." Tell 'em why.
56
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:42,104
You see, the aliens come down
to Earth in the raindrops.
57
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,202
Yeah!
58
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:46,183
Making the raindrops chubby.
59
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:49,186
Aliens in the raindrops. Chubby rain.
I mean, at the end of this movie...
60
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:53,816
when our hero, Keith Kincaid,
looks up at the alien antenna and says,
61
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:57,691
"Gotcha, suckas!"
62
00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:00,959
I mean, that is a moment.
63
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,367
Man, I don't know.
64
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,495
Just give me till this afternoon
to close the deal.
65
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,664
If I don't, you can
go anywhere you want.
66
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,940
Come here. Come here, come here.
67
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,884
See that FedEx truck?
68
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:30,121
Every day it delivers important papers
to people all over the world.
69
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,788
And one day, it is going to stop here...
70
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,661
and a man is going to walk up...
71
00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:37,759
and casually toss a couple
of FedExes on my desk.
72
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,860
And at that moment, we...
73
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,430
And by we, I mean me...
will be important.
74
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:46,568
- Wow.
- Now, today...
75
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:50,979
I have a very important meeting
with Jerry Renfro.
76
00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,644
If it goes the way I
think it's gonna go,
77
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:58,553
I will see you at the Oscars.
78
00:08:56,730 --> 00:08:58,034
Good job, Dave. Great work.
79
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,631
You've got to have this
back in 45 minutes.
80
00:08:59,656 --> 00:09:00,717
I'm supposed to be washing it.
81
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:01,742
Has Renfro left yet?
82
00:09:01,842 --> 00:09:04,652
Left 15 minutes ago. He should be
getting to the restaurant by now.
83
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:07,351
Listen Dave, this meeting goes like
I think it will, I'm making you cameraman.
84
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,729
Do you know what that means?
85
00:09:08,754 --> 00:09:10,951
Means you'll be living
up to your promise?
86
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,429
That's right.
87
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:16,729
And, if this movie gets made,
I'm giving you my van.
88
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,170
It is my van.
89
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:03,471
Could you seat me next to Jerry Renfro?
Thank you.
90
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,116
Hey, Tony, how are you?
91
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:09,847
Uh-huh. No. Send the deal back.
92
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,889
Uh-huh. Net, net?
93
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:14,289
If I'm gonna put $85 million
into an avalanche movie,
94
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,758
I gotta know where the snow is.
95
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,795
- Uh-huh.
- And it better be Aspen.
96
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:20,023
And I want to know
what asshole's gonna direct.
97
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,258
We gotta get a director.
98
00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:22,800
- Who's my star?
- You just get me a list.
99
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:27,565
- He's got to be international.
- I need an international star.
100
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:30,232
- Who's my star?
- How about Kit Ramsey?
101
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:34,278
Kit Ramsey is the hottest,
sexiest action star in the world.
102
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:37,440
When I think of Kit Ramsey
in this avalanche movie,
103
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:38,914
I get very comfortable.
104
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,145
Well, I'm not gonna get into
a bidding war with...
105
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:44,026
because you know, even if
Kit Ramsey's interested,
106
00:10:44,051 --> 00:10:46,180
you know we might not want Kit Ramsey.
107
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,350
Can you believe this?
108
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:50,121
Now they try to tell us
who's gonna be in our movies.
109
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:53,596
Yeah, get me Kit.
Get me Kit right now.
110
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:56,224
You don't put me on hold,
I put you on hold.
111
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,234
Put me on hold and you're a dead man.
112
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:03,001
Hey, Jerry, how are you?
Bobby Bowfinger, Bowfinger Films.
113
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:05,372
We worked together on that thing
you know, a couple years ago.
114
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:06,466
What thing?
115
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,944
The, uh, famous movie?
116
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:13,542
Hey. Oh, hi, Kit. How are you?
117
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,644
My man! How's Dolores?
118
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:20,213
Good. Well, you are first in line
for the script, Kit.
119
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,418
You can't be more first than first.
120
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,462
- Can I talk to him?
- Huh?
121
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:28,556
- Can I... can I talk to Kit?
- Absolutely. Kit. Hey, Kit?
122
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:32,626
Got a surprise for you.
Kit? Kit? I'm losing you...
123
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,800
Got a bad line there?
124
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,932
Yeah. These cell phones are so bad.
125
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,420
You know, Universal is
begging me for this script,
126
00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:39,842
but I don't want to give it to 'em.
127
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,511
Because they screwed me once.
You really oughta take a look.
128
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:42,535
Let me see.
129
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:43,945
Yeah, take a look at it.
130
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:49,244
- It starts nice.
- It does, doesn't it?
131
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:52,619
- All this. Yeah.
- Right.
132
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:56,024
"Gotcha, suckas!"
Wow, that is a catch phrase.
133
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:57,322
Isn't that good?
134
00:11:57,417 --> 00:12:00,421
I just saw the poster.
135
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,057
Let's be risky today. Huh.
I'm gonna go with this.
136
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:05,636
You know, you bring me this
script and Kit Ramsey,
137
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:09,196
and you got yourself a
"go" picture, Bobby.
138
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,503
Uh, okay. Thanks.
139
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:14,306
Thanks.
140
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:18,349
I love what you do. Here's my card.
141
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,476
Oh, just keep that.
142
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,453
What was that?
143
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:30,460
A "go" picture! A "go" picture!
144
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:34,161
You don't know anyone
who knows Kit Ramsey, do you?
145
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,258
Damn it, Hal! I'm the biggest black
action star in the world!
146
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:40,031
- Where's my "Hasta la vista, baby"?
- What are you talking about?
147
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:41,127
My "Hasta la vista."
148
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,868
If Arnold Schwarnzencracker is
gettin' to say lines like that,
149
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:47,036
you better make sure that Kit Ramsey
has shit that's equally well-written.
150
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,444
- The script has that moment.
- When?
151
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,914
You say, "I enjoyed meeting you, Cliff."
152
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:54,417
Then you push the guy
right over the cliff.
153
00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:55,918
That's too much for the audience
to think about.
154
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,153
They have to know the
guy's name is Cliff,
155
00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,322
that he's on a cliff, and that Cliff
and cliff are the same.
156
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:02,190
It's too cerebral. We're trying
to make a movie here, not a film.
157
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,193
Damn! You're supposed to be the agent!
158
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,853
I tell you what, you better
159
00:13:05,878 --> 00:13:07,482
find me a line as good as the time I
told Tommy Lee Jones,
160
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,465
"Fuck y'all," and blew his brains out.
161
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,467
Hey yo, Kit.
You know what's happenin' here?
162
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:15,734
This is just another example of the white
man takin' all the best catch phrases...
163
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,706
and then givin' them
to Arnold or Stallone.
164
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:18,798
Exactly.
165
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,902
And Jackie Chan and Van Damme.
166
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,472
And they can't even speak English good.
167
00:13:22,570 --> 00:13:24,610
And I tell you what, there's some
covert stuff goin' on.
168
00:13:24,835 --> 00:13:26,207
There's some covert shit I
just found out the other day.
169
00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:28,653
Come inside. I'm glad you're here.
Come in here.
170
00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:30,983
C'mon, right now, everybody. Come here.
171
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:33,489
- What you talkin' about?
- Look at this. Just for fun...
172
00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,980
I scanned in the computer
the script to see how many times...
173
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,156
the letter "K" appears in the script.
174
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:42,997
The letter "K" appears
in this script 1,456 times.
175
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:45,035
That's perfectly divisible by three.
176
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,901
- So what're you sayin'?
- What am I sayin'?
177
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:51,908
"K-K-K" appears in
this script 486 times.
178
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,216
Kit...
179
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,150
- The sickness is deep.
- They playin' you.
180
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:04,722
- I've been played.
- That's really not the case here.
181
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:08,020
This is a great script.
Look, it's not Shakespeare, but...
182
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:12,062
- Hey, what'd you just say?
- I said, it's not Shakespeare, but...
183
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,722
It's not Shake... It's not Shake...
184
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,265
Did you hear...
did you hear what he's doin'?
185
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,063
Yeah. I know he's doin' something.
I just can't put my finger on it.
186
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,069
Yeah. What's he doin'?
187
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,504
- Shakespeare, Freddy, Shakespeare!
- Shakespeare.
188
00:14:22,596 --> 00:14:25,634
- Shake-a-spear. Spear-chucker.
- Shake-a-spear!
189
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:28,235
- I'm a spear-chucker now.
- Kit!
190
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:30,446
- Call me a spear-chucker, huh?
- Kit, that's not what it means!
191
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,251
It's my imagination, huh?
It's all my imagination.
192
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,184
Oh, I suppose they didn't put a computer
chip in LaToya Jackson's brain.
193
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,252
She just acts like that, huh?
194
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,654
I suppose Teddy Kennedy
ain't one-sixteenth black, huh?
195
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:39,746
Teddy Kennedy?
196
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,891
He's not like other Kennedys.
Look at him! He's different!
197
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,292
Listen, I...I got some calls to make.
198
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,920
Yeah, go make some calls.
Go call Arnold and Sly!
199
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:51,059
And Van Damme and Jackie Chan.
Tell 'em the spear-chucker said hello!
200
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,809
Get my door just as fast
as you get Tom Hanks's!
201
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:32,943
- Yes, Mr. Ramsey.
- Wait, wait, wait. Who are you?
202
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,377
They just buzzed me in.
Script delivery from Paramount.
203
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,341
I ain't expectin' no
script from Paramount.
204
00:15:37,366 --> 00:15:38,302
I mean Universal.
205
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:42,012
- Maybe so. Come on.
- Gotta have you sign.
206
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,088
I ain't signin' shit.
207
00:15:43,113 --> 00:15:45,213
It's all good. It's all good.
This script is "buttah."
208
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,349
- What?
- Buttah, buttah. This stuff is buttah.
209
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:51,293
It's uh, it's uh, it's uh... It's...
it's all good. It's a jiggy baby.
210
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,990
Wait. How you know
it's all good and jiggy baby?
211
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,007
I was reading it on the way over.
Hope you don't mind.
212
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,056
- You read my script?
- Yes
213
00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,602
You know what I loved about this script?
It's a twist on the usual.
214
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,740
It's science fiction,
which we know sells...
215
00:16:01,765 --> 00:16:02,563
You shut up. You shut up.
216
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,315
Let me tell you something.
I'm gettin' ready to whip your ass.
217
00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:05,627
Let me tell you something. You don't
be readin' my stuff, all right?
218
00:16:05,899 --> 00:16:06,952
Now get off the property!
219
00:16:06,977 --> 00:16:08,870
I just got a little excited.
It's okay.
220
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,846
I gotta get over to my
MindHead meeting anyway.
221
00:16:12,337 --> 00:16:13,413
MindHead?
222
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,951
- MindHead?
- MindHead! You need a lift?
223
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:20,490
- MindHead. I can't believe that!
- Yeah! Come on in.
224
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,958
- Oh, yeah. Thank you very much.
- What a coincidence!
225
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:24,960
- Who's your guy?
- Terry Stricter. Who's yours?
226
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:28,521
- Ray.
- Ray? Oh, Ray!
227
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:49,485
You know, it's people like you
that give MindHead a bad name!
228
00:16:49,576 --> 00:16:51,920
You lyin' sack of shit!
229
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:54,575
Read the script.
230
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,877
I'm really a big-time producer
with clout.
231
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:13,576
Welcome to MindHead.
232
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:16,840
Welcome to MindHead.
233
00:17:16,936 --> 00:17:19,678
Welcome to MindHead.
234
00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:22,879
Welcome to MindHead.
235
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:26,924
Welcome to MindHead. Welcome...
236
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:30,153
Seems as though you're
doing much better.
237
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:33,754
- Yes. Yes.
- Your paranoia...
238
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:37,665
is definitely under control
since you came to understand...
239
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,737
Happy Premise Number One.
240
00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:44,002
Happy Premise Number One:
There are no aliens.
241
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:45,906
Happy Premise Number Two.
242
00:17:45,999 --> 00:17:47,478
Happy Premise Number Two:
243
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:50,070
There is no giant foot
trying to squash me.
244
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:52,081
Happy Premise Number Three.
245
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:56,416
Happy Premise Number Three:
Even though I feel like I might ignite,
246
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,489
I probably won't.
247
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,683
So what do we do?
248
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,795
Keep... it... together.
249
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:06,912
Keep it together. Keep it together.
250
00:18:06,937 --> 00:18:08,549
Keep it together. Keep it together.
Keep it together.
251
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:13,036
And what is it we don't do
under any circumstances?
252
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,970
- Aw, man!
- What is it?
253
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:18,303
I have to show it to the Laker Girls.
254
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:21,777
You cannot show it to the Laker Girls.
255
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,872
Keep Mr. Weenie in the pants.
256
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,315
Always in the pants.
257
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:29,785
I know you want to show it
to the Laker Girls,
258
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:33,119
but you must never show it
to the Laker Girls.
259
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:09,016
- Well?
- What did he say?
260
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:11,026
Betsy, come here.
261
00:19:11,117 --> 00:19:13,028
Come here. Come here.
262
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:16,032
Sit! Come.
263
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:18,033
Sit!
264
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:22,402
Good girl! Come here, come here.
What a good girl.
265
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,540
Is she amazing? Considering
you get her from the pound...
266
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:25,564
What did he say?
267
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,703
All right.
268
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,007
Okay. So, all right.
269
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:33,107
So, I'm at the meeting with
Jerry Renfro, and it's going very well.
270
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:38,155
But, I'm looking at him and I'm thinking,
you know, I don't need him.
271
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:41,088
What I need is someone
like a Kit Ramsey.
272
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:44,253
Kit Ramsey makes this a go picture.
273
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,524
- So, I went to see Kit at his home.
- Oh, my God.
274
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,800
And what did he say?
275
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,063
- What did who say?
- What did Kit Ramsey say?
276
00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:58,665
What did Kit Ramsey say? Okay. So.
277
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:03,373
I'm meeting with Kit at his home and...
By the way, he knew who I was.
278
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:07,884
Big fan. And I gave him the script,
and he looked through the script.
279
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:10,181
And I said, "So, so what do you think?
280
00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:12,984
Are you interested in doing this movie?"
281
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:17,892
And... Kit looked at me,
282
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:21,363
and he said...
283
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:32,038
Kit just...
284
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,113
said...
285
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,749
yes.
286
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:47,790
Kit Ramsey said yes?
287
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:52,886
Kit Ramsey is doing this movie!
288
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,137
You told 'em we're
gonna make this movie?
289
00:21:06,876 --> 00:21:08,150
That's right, I did.
That's what I did.
290
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:11,543
- You're gonna have to tell 'em.
- Tell 'em what?
291
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,345
We're not gonna make the movie.
292
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,976
What do you mean?
Dave, I made them a promise.
293
00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:18,851
How you gonna make the movie
with Kit Ramsey? He said no.
294
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,285
You don't think I thought about that?
You don't think I worked that out?
295
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:24,355
We're making this movie
with Kit Ramsey, except...
296
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:25,450
Except what?
297
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:26,955
Except he won't know he's in it.
298
00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:30,565
What?
299
00:21:31,356 --> 00:21:33,467
We secretly follow him
around with a camera.
300
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:35,903
We have our actors walk up to him
and say their lines.
301
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:38,839
And he's in our movie,
and we don't have to pay him.
302
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:40,103
What's he gonna say?
303
00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:42,736
What difference does
it make what he says?
304
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,406
It's an action movie.
All he's gotta do is run.
305
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:47,545
He runs away from the aliens,
he runs toward the aliens.
306
00:21:47,569 --> 00:21:48,740
He runs away from the aliens, he runs...
307
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:50,243
C'mon. I wanna show you something.
308
00:21:51,911 --> 00:21:54,517
Got this all worked out, I think.
309
00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:58,026
There are six major scenes with Kit.
310
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:00,757
Those are the ones in red.
He's not in any of the other scenes,
311
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:03,697
so we just shoot those
with our own actors on our own time.
312
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:07,203
And, bingo... we've got a movie.
313
00:22:07,293 --> 00:22:09,796
- That's crazy.
- Yeah.
314
00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:11,807
But we're desperate.
315
00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:15,402
Why don't you wait till you get a star
who wants to be in it?
316
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,674
Dave, I'm 49 years old.
317
00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:21,912
Admittedly, I could get away with 44,
41, maybe 38.
318
00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:25,319
But when you hit 50,
they don't hire you anymore.
319
00:22:25,411 --> 00:22:27,322
It's like they can smell 50.
320
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:28,157
What's that?
321
00:22:31,349 --> 00:22:33,626
When I was ten years old,
I knew I wanted to make movies,
322
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,064
but I knew no one was
going to give me that.
323
00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:40,297
So I started putting away
one dollar every week of my life.
324
00:22:40,393 --> 00:22:44,671
If I missed a week,
I made it up later, from age ten on.
325
00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:48,371
And now, you're looking
at enough to get us started.
326
00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:50,581
$2,184.00.
327
00:22:52,345 --> 00:22:54,351
But movies cost millions
of dollars to make.
328
00:22:54,674 --> 00:22:58,520
That's after gross net
deduction profit percentage...
329
00:22:58,611 --> 00:23:01,490
deferment ten percent of the nut.
330
00:23:01,581 --> 00:23:05,589
Cash? Every movie costs $2,184.00.
331
00:23:24,871 --> 00:23:26,942
Where do I go to be an actress?
332
00:24:03,209 --> 00:24:05,587
Okay. That was nice.
333
00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:08,186
We have your photos,
and we'll call you when we decide.
334
00:24:08,341 --> 00:24:10,844
- I have... I have some new photos.
- No, these are good.
335
00:24:11,083 --> 00:24:13,063
- You hated me, didn't you?
- No, you were good.
336
00:24:13,152 --> 00:24:15,496
You were very good.
337
00:24:19,392 --> 00:24:21,303
She was good.
338
00:24:21,394 --> 00:24:23,840
She had the personality
of a zip code in Kansas.
339
00:24:23,930 --> 00:24:26,342
She was good, but she didn't have "it."
340
00:24:26,432 --> 00:24:29,174
What do you mean, "it"?
341
00:24:29,268 --> 00:24:31,407
"It" is a special quality.
342
00:24:31,504 --> 00:24:32,778
No matter what is going on,
343
00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,818
you cannot take your
eyes off that person.
344
00:24:34,907 --> 00:24:38,411
Every word they say,
every gesture you're interested in.
345
00:24:39,111 --> 00:24:40,114
Do I have "it"?
346
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,350
I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. What?
347
00:24:46,317 --> 00:24:47,864
Do I have "it"?
348
00:24:50,256 --> 00:24:52,167
Yes, you do.
349
00:24:53,258 --> 00:24:54,732
I thought I did.
350
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,700
Next. Who's next?
351
00:24:58,264 --> 00:25:00,266
Is this where I go to be a star?
352
00:25:00,366 --> 00:25:02,966
This is where you go to sacrifice,
learn your craft and work hard.
353
00:25:04,936 --> 00:25:06,277
Does that take more than a week?
354
00:25:06,472 --> 00:25:08,383
Because I've given myself one week.
355
00:25:08,474 --> 00:25:09,885
That's this, this office.
356
00:25:09,976 --> 00:25:13,219
Alright. We'll take a chance, see
what's up, see if you have "it."
357
00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:15,256
See if you have a special quality,
358
00:25:15,748 --> 00:25:18,427
see if you have the
illusion the first time.
359
00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:22,092
Um, where do I pay? It's $25, right?
360
00:25:22,488 --> 00:25:24,559
- A check?
- I have I.D.
361
00:25:25,057 --> 00:25:27,470
I'm sorry. Maybe a less solid
movie company could take a check,
362
00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:29,139
but we can only take cash.
363
00:25:31,128 --> 00:25:32,632
But I don't have any cash on me.
364
00:25:32,832 --> 00:25:37,247
I mean, I have cash, but just not on me,
and the banks aren't open.
365
00:25:37,336 --> 00:25:39,543
There, there, there. There.
366
00:25:39,639 --> 00:25:42,082
There's the door. I'm sorry.
We can't let you audition.
367
00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:45,649
- But I drove in from Ohio and...
- I'm sorry.
368
00:25:45,745 --> 00:25:48,055
- Well...
- I'm sorry. There.
369
00:25:48,147 --> 00:25:50,684
There you are. Good-bye.
370
00:25:50,783 --> 00:25:53,662
She looked pretty good,
like she could act.
371
00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:54,753
Yeah, she had something.
372
00:25:54,820 --> 00:25:56,565
But if they don't pay to audition,
it could be dangerous.
373
00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:58,200
How?
374
00:25:58,591 --> 00:26:01,003
Well, let's say she gets the part.
Then she might want to be paid.
375
00:26:01,093 --> 00:26:02,093
She had "it" maybe!
376
00:26:02,161 --> 00:26:04,607
Look, I didn't make the system!
The system is bigger...
377
00:26:08,099 --> 00:26:11,006
All right. If you want
the responsibility, fine.
378
00:26:19,145 --> 00:26:23,252
So I talked it over with the man.
Says he'll take a check.
379
00:26:23,349 --> 00:26:25,955
- He will?
- Yes.
380
00:26:26,052 --> 00:26:28,931
- He listens to you?
- Yeah.
381
00:26:33,092 --> 00:26:35,265
"I could never be with you, Todd.
382
00:26:35,361 --> 00:26:38,103
"I'm loyal to Keith. I'm loyal to him.
383
00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:42,475
I could never, never kiss you."
384
00:27:29,782 --> 00:27:32,922
Okay, that was good. Very good.
Let's try it one more time.
385
00:27:33,019 --> 00:27:35,727
Slater, this time without the erection.
386
00:27:37,421 --> 00:27:39,262
Thank you, Mr. Bowfinger! Thank you!
387
00:27:39,558 --> 00:27:42,971
Thank you!
388
00:27:43,062 --> 00:27:45,167
Thank you, Mr. Bowfinger! Thank you!
389
00:27:45,264 --> 00:27:46,971
Afrim, we gotta get a crew,
390
00:27:47,066 --> 00:27:50,172
and I wanna get the best
damn crew we can afford.
391
00:27:51,303 --> 00:27:53,180
¡Ándale, muchachos!
392
00:27:56,809 --> 00:27:59,380
In here. In here.
393
00:27:59,478 --> 00:28:02,652
Come on. In here. Buenos
días, buenos días.
394
00:28:02,748 --> 00:28:05,251
Welcome to America. Welcome to America.
395
00:28:16,462 --> 00:28:19,272
I'm so happy to meet you.
This is gonna be great.
396
00:28:19,365 --> 00:28:21,902
I can tell you know what you're doing...
397
00:28:27,106 --> 00:28:29,552
Thanks for making the trip.
Glad to have you aboard.
398
00:28:29,642 --> 00:28:31,553
Guess what. We just closed Kit's deal.
399
00:28:31,644 --> 00:28:33,783
- Oh.
- Typical typical deal points.
400
00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:37,326
Name above the title.
We get only one take with Kit.
401
00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:38,588
One take?
402
00:28:38,684 --> 00:28:40,288
And, he doesn't want to see the camera.
403
00:28:40,386 --> 00:28:42,297
- How come?
- Well, it's just his way of working.
404
00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:44,868
He's so into his character,
that if he sees the camera,
405
00:28:44,957 --> 00:28:46,402
it breaks his concentration.
406
00:28:46,492 --> 00:28:47,835
When do we start?
407
00:28:47,927 --> 00:28:50,464
Well, we've got the contract,
so we start tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.
408
00:28:59,870 --> 00:29:00,742
What is it?
409
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:04,021
I wish you could see what I see.
410
00:29:04,110 --> 00:29:06,112
What do you see, boss?
411
00:29:06,212 --> 00:29:10,661
The most promising group of young
professionals I've ever worked with.
412
00:29:23,728 --> 00:29:24,735
Hey, Cliff.
413
00:29:25,030 --> 00:29:27,510
Morning, Dave.
414
00:29:41,947 --> 00:29:43,858
- Good camera.
- Yeah.
415
00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:46,728
I gotta have it back in every night,
or it's a felony. Years you'd get.
416
00:29:46,752 --> 00:29:48,857
You'd get. Daisy, Daisy, come on.
417
00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:52,629
Bobby, what if Daisy said "it's a tough
world" instead of "it's a rough world."
418
00:29:52,725 --> 00:29:54,636
That's good. You got that inside.
You got that briefcase?
419
00:29:54,727 --> 00:29:56,767
Would she really bring his briefcase
if she was so worried?
420
00:29:56,829 --> 00:29:59,002
The briefcase is a... is a metaphor
for the entire relationship.
421
00:29:59,098 --> 00:30:00,098
The briefcase is a symbol.
422
00:30:00,166 --> 00:30:02,444
- Shouldn't I be in this scene?
- Yeah, let me put that in the hopper.
423
00:30:02,468 --> 00:30:05,176
I could be lurking behind a bush.
424
00:30:05,271 --> 00:30:08,081
You know what to do.
425
00:30:08,174 --> 00:30:12,247
No, no. ¡Ándale, ándale!
426
00:30:22,555 --> 00:30:25,161
Okay, this is it. Places, everyone.
427
00:30:25,257 --> 00:30:27,999
Like this. Roll! Speed! Marker!
428
00:30:30,496 --> 00:30:33,409
Remember, don't let him see the camera.
429
00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:36,371
And... action.
430
00:30:42,105 --> 00:30:42,650
Come on, Daisy, go.
431
00:30:46,645 --> 00:30:48,352
Back to Daisy.
432
00:30:48,447 --> 00:30:50,984
Keith, you forgot your briefcase.
433
00:30:51,083 --> 00:30:54,087
Keith, you forgot... You're upset.
434
00:30:54,186 --> 00:30:58,601
One slipup in your tough,
crime-filled world and you could die.
435
00:30:58,691 --> 00:31:03,333
Keith! Keith!
436
00:31:03,429 --> 00:31:05,773
Keith. Your name Keith?
437
00:31:05,865 --> 00:31:07,867
No, I'm Jimmy.
438
00:31:07,967 --> 00:31:09,878
But thanks for askin'.
439
00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:16,117
And... cut!
440
00:31:16,908 --> 00:31:19,051
- We got our first shot.
- Yeah, yeah.
441
00:31:24,816 --> 00:31:26,027
Okay, here it comes.
442
00:31:29,188 --> 00:31:32,761
Come on. Work, baby, work.
443
00:31:42,868 --> 00:31:45,678
Keith, you forgot your briefcase.
444
00:31:45,771 --> 00:31:48,149
Keith, you forgot... You're upset.
445
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:52,689
One slipup in your tough,
crime-filled world and you could die.
446
00:31:52,778 --> 00:31:55,691
Oh my God, it worked. It looked like
Daisy was coming out of the house.
447
00:31:55,781 --> 00:31:58,261
This movie's gonna work!
448
00:32:06,158 --> 00:32:07,929
Hey, Dave, did you wash my car?
449
00:32:07,954 --> 00:32:09,095
Workin' on it.
450
00:32:10,896 --> 00:32:13,900
Okay, one scene down.
451
00:32:16,902 --> 00:32:17,522
Yeah?
452
00:32:17,547 --> 00:32:19,406
Bowfinger, okay here's what I got.
453
00:32:19,471 --> 00:32:22,884
Kit and his agent will be at the
Rodeo Grille tomorrow at 12:45 p.m.
454
00:32:22,975 --> 00:32:26,582
- Are we gonna be there?
- Better believe it. You're a genius.
455
00:32:44,729 --> 00:32:45,666
Can you see over there?
456
00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:48,741
- What do you see? Do you see Kit?
- Yeah.
457
00:32:48,834 --> 00:32:51,542
Am I trying for you or not trying?
458
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:55,449
You're trying, but I want
at least the same...
459
00:32:55,541 --> 00:32:58,061
I know I ain't gonna be treated
like Mighty Whitey in this town.
460
00:33:04,950 --> 00:33:07,829
I put in 25 years in the theater
before coming to Hollywood.
461
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:10,924
- Carol, we are almost ready.
- My darling,
462
00:33:11,023 --> 00:33:14,103
I still don't see why I can't meet the
man I'm going to be working with.
463
00:33:14,194 --> 00:33:15,902
Well, I just spoke with Kit.
He wants to impress you so much
464
00:33:15,927 --> 00:33:18,095
with his acting, and he needs
his total concentration.
465
00:33:18,364 --> 00:33:20,275
- Oh, that's just young!
- I know.
466
00:33:20,366 --> 00:33:23,074
I wish just once I could work with
someone who had honed their craft.
467
00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:25,876
Right. But right now we
need that scene, Carol.
468
00:33:25,971 --> 00:33:27,416
You'll get your scene.
469
00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:30,851
He may not be a professional, but I am.
470
00:33:30,943 --> 00:33:33,048
Oh, Carol.
471
00:33:45,324 --> 00:33:47,634
White boys get all the Oscars.
It's a... it's a fact.
472
00:33:47,726 --> 00:33:49,966
- We know that, but look, look.
- Did I get a nomination?
473
00:33:49,995 --> 00:33:50,995
No. And you know why?
474
00:33:51,063 --> 00:33:53,341
'Cause I ain't played none of them
slave roles or get my ass whipped.
475
00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:54,901
That's when you get the nominations.
476
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,447
Black dude play a slave role, get his
ass whipped, he gets the nomination.
477
00:33:57,603 --> 00:34:00,209
White boy play an idiot,
they get the Oscar.
478
00:34:00,305 --> 00:34:04,048
Find me a script as a retarded slave,
then I get the Oscar.
479
00:34:04,143 --> 00:34:07,784
Oh. I'm gonna schmooze.
I'll be right back.
480
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,053
Yeah. Go find that script.
481
00:34:10,149 --> 00:34:12,060
"Buck, the Wonder Slave."
482
00:34:12,151 --> 00:34:14,654
Okay, here we go.
483
00:34:20,793 --> 00:34:22,830
Sound.
484
00:34:25,497 --> 00:34:26,805
Lights!
485
00:34:44,550 --> 00:34:46,461
Roll her.
486
00:34:49,455 --> 00:34:50,695
When you left Phoenix,
487
00:34:50,789 --> 00:34:53,429
it wasn't because you
wanted to raise soybeans.
488
00:34:53,525 --> 00:34:55,505
You had to get away. Why?
489
00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:59,235
Why? Was it because you wanted me
and it burned inside of you?
490
00:34:59,331 --> 00:35:01,834
- I beg your pardon?
- Come back to Phoenix.
491
00:35:01,934 --> 00:35:02,934
Stop this madness.
492
00:35:03,001 --> 00:35:05,504
Let me in on whatever mission
this is that you're doing.
493
00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:07,845
- Do you know who I am?
- Of course.
494
00:35:07,940 --> 00:35:11,046
You're Keith Kincaid.
You've come down from Wyoming...
495
00:35:11,143 --> 00:35:13,384
with your damn U.F.O.'s.
496
00:35:13,479 --> 00:35:16,119
You bastard! Bastard! Bastard!
497
00:35:16,215 --> 00:35:20,789
- Because you, you prefer alien love!
- Alien love?
498
00:35:20,886 --> 00:35:25,335
- Why'd you say "alien love"?
- I must get my umbrella.
499
00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:27,461
- You triggered the voices.
- Oh!
500
00:35:28,961 --> 00:35:30,872
Freddy!
501
00:35:33,432 --> 00:35:38,404
Take me to Terry Stricter! Now!
502
00:35:40,506 --> 00:35:42,383
We got it.
503
00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:44,886
I'm telling you, strange people are
coming up to me on the street...
504
00:35:44,977 --> 00:35:47,856
and they're speaking in Jupiterian
or Venutian or something.
505
00:35:47,946 --> 00:35:48,946
Okay, now.
506
00:35:49,014 --> 00:35:50,014
Strangers come up to you,
507
00:35:50,082 --> 00:35:51,925
and you don't understand
what they're saying.
508
00:35:52,017 --> 00:35:54,054
- What is that?
- Maybe they're fans.
509
00:35:54,603 --> 00:35:55,797
Crazy fans.
510
00:35:54,972 --> 00:35:57,352
Well, they talk to me.
They speak to me...
511
00:35:57,422 --> 00:36:00,301
only they speak in some... some secret
white language that I can't decode.
512
00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:02,235
It's horrifying!
513
00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:07,174
What do these crazy people, who
speak to you and make no sense, say?
514
00:36:07,266 --> 00:36:10,543
They talk about things I never heard of.
They talk about people I don't know.
515
00:36:10,636 --> 00:36:12,877
Somebody named Cynthia,
somebody named Keith.
516
00:36:12,971 --> 00:36:15,247
And aliens, sex and umbrellas.
517
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,514
I see.
518
00:36:18,110 --> 00:36:18,787
Kit?
519
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,359
Do you think you can keep it together?
520
00:36:24,449 --> 00:36:27,191
Yes, I can keep it together.
521
00:36:27,286 --> 00:36:31,200
I'm keeping it together. I'm K-I-T,
Kit. I'm keeping it together now.
522
00:36:31,290 --> 00:36:33,099
Keeping it together.
Keeping it together.
523
00:36:33,192 --> 00:36:34,193
I'm keeping it together.
524
00:36:34,293 --> 00:36:38,901
- Don't I look together?
- Have you heard any more voices?
525
00:36:38,997 --> 00:36:41,238
No.
526
00:36:45,137 --> 00:36:46,775
Every now and then I hear a voice.
527
00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:48,977
I haven't heard voices.
I have heard a voice now.
528
00:36:50,474 --> 00:36:52,217
What did this one voice say?
529
00:36:58,317 --> 00:37:01,196
As I stand here before you today,
530
00:37:01,286 --> 00:37:03,766
the Laker Girls cheerleading squad...
531
00:37:03,855 --> 00:37:06,734
needs to be taken down a peg or two.
532
00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:16,535
You know last night...
was really special.
533
00:37:16,635 --> 00:37:19,548
It was. I've never done
it lying down before.
534
00:37:19,638 --> 00:37:23,643
- Hmmm. You know next time?
- Yeah?
535
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:27,588
Next time I think
I'd like to do it with just two condoms.
536
00:37:27,679 --> 00:37:31,252
Well, if I was in the movie more, yeah.
537
00:37:31,350 --> 00:37:34,661
You see, if I was in the movie more,
then we could be equals,
538
00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:36,460
and I could trust you more.
539
00:37:36,555 --> 00:37:38,993
- We have lots of scenes together.
- I love our scenes.
540
00:37:39,291 --> 00:37:42,534
Our scenes are the best,
but I should have more scenes with Kit.
541
00:37:43,128 --> 00:37:44,467
If I had more scenes with Kit,
542
00:37:44,664 --> 00:37:47,440
then that would really
pump up our scenes.
543
00:37:48,933 --> 00:37:50,710
You know, Afrim would
be in charge of that.
544
00:37:51,003 --> 00:37:53,677
He's the screenwriter.
545
00:37:53,772 --> 00:37:57,242
- So the writer's in charge of that?
- Yeah.
546
00:37:57,566 --> 00:37:58,066
Huh.
547
00:38:05,584 --> 00:38:07,564
- Boss, I've got those pages.
- What pages?
548
00:38:07,653 --> 00:38:09,564
The pages. The new pages.
549
00:38:09,655 --> 00:38:13,125
You see, I think if Daisy had
more scenes with Kit,
550
00:38:13,225 --> 00:38:16,035
it would pump up the scenes with Slater.
551
00:38:16,128 --> 00:38:20,042
So I wrote more scenes
for Daisy and Kit, some hot scenes...
552
00:38:20,132 --> 00:38:23,579
where there is... heat and chemistry.
553
00:38:23,669 --> 00:38:26,206
- But, I don't think we need...
- I think you will see.
554
00:38:26,305 --> 00:38:30,344
These new hot scenes, the ones in which
Daisy exposes her breasts,
555
00:38:30,442 --> 00:38:32,353
will increase sales in Thailand.
556
00:38:33,344 --> 00:38:34,315
Daisy agreed to this?
557
00:38:34,613 --> 00:38:36,718
That is the case, although
I haven't talked to her.
558
00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:39,318
- Baby.
- Hi.
559
00:38:42,620 --> 00:38:43,591
Hello.
560
00:38:44,289 --> 00:38:47,099
"A vixen in stretch pants.
561
00:38:47,192 --> 00:38:50,935
What man wouldn't want a hot virgin?"
562
00:38:51,029 --> 00:38:53,908
Okay. You'll do this?
563
00:38:53,999 --> 00:38:56,707
If I have to. If it's for the movie,
and you really really want me to.
564
00:38:56,802 --> 00:38:58,494
And if it's not just
about nudity, but if it's
565
00:38:58,519 --> 00:39:00,148
artistic and says
something about reality,
566
00:39:00,172 --> 00:39:01,437
and if it's in character
and if it's for the scene,
567
00:39:01,462 --> 00:39:02,984
and if it's not
just a body that...
568
00:39:03,008 --> 00:39:05,545
Right, right, right.
569
00:39:05,644 --> 00:39:07,021
Bowfinger International Pictures.
570
00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:08,853
How may I direct your call? What is it?
571
00:39:08,947 --> 00:39:12,520
I tracked Kit to MindHead.
He could be coming down any time.
572
00:39:18,089 --> 00:39:19,300
All right, all right. All right.
573
00:39:19,591 --> 00:39:22,435
Kit feels he's ready
to shoot the parking lot scene.
574
00:39:22,527 --> 00:39:25,030
I just love the way this guy works.
575
00:41:17,602 --> 00:41:20,173
Keep it together. Keep it together.
576
00:41:21,406 --> 00:41:23,317
Keep it together.
577
00:41:28,146 --> 00:41:30,990
Oh, sh...
578
00:41:43,194 --> 00:41:45,105
And... cut!
579
00:41:45,196 --> 00:41:48,370
- Did you get that?
- Nice.
580
00:41:48,466 --> 00:41:51,208
- What'd you see? Fear?
- Fear. Mostly fear.
581
00:41:51,302 --> 00:41:54,476
- Some insane looks.
- Insane looks. You saw insane looks?
582
00:41:54,572 --> 00:41:56,609
Oh, Betsy, you were such a good girl.
583
00:41:56,708 --> 00:41:58,517
You were such a good, good girl.
584
00:41:58,609 --> 00:42:00,748
All right, let's get Carol
out of her trailer...
585
00:42:00,845 --> 00:42:03,018
and shoot the other side
of this masterpiece.
586
00:42:21,899 --> 00:42:24,709
- He's brilliant.
- He is.
587
00:42:24,802 --> 00:42:29,308
His fear is so real.
It's like it's actually happening.
588
00:42:41,552 --> 00:42:45,398
- We work really well together.
- That's what he was saying.
589
00:42:52,063 --> 00:42:54,942
Bastard!
590
00:42:56,134 --> 00:42:59,138
Darling.
591
00:42:59,237 --> 00:43:01,080
Excuse me, my darling.
592
00:43:01,172 --> 00:43:04,119
Darling, I respect Kit's way of working.
593
00:43:04,208 --> 00:43:06,552
You know, the no rehearsal,
no contact off screen.
594
00:43:06,644 --> 00:43:08,937
But it's just so traditional
595
00:43:08,962 --> 00:43:11,310
to actually meet the person
that you're working with.
596
00:43:11,382 --> 00:43:13,020
No, no, you...you should not
meet Kit because...
597
00:43:13,117 --> 00:43:14,960
we're not doing anything
traditional here.
598
00:43:15,052 --> 00:43:19,933
We're working in a new style.
We're working in cinema nouveau.
599
00:43:20,024 --> 00:43:22,834
Cinema nouveau.
600
00:43:28,866 --> 00:43:32,177
It felt so good today to quit my job.
601
00:43:32,270 --> 00:43:35,080
I told them, "I'm a screenwriter now."
602
00:43:35,173 --> 00:43:37,813
They said, "Afrim, you have
eight brothers and four sisters.
603
00:43:37,909 --> 00:43:39,286
How will you earn your money?"
604
00:43:39,377 --> 00:43:42,017
I said, "This is more important.
605
00:43:42,113 --> 00:43:47,290
Bobby Bowfinger has given me a chance,
and I'm going to take it."
606
00:43:47,385 --> 00:43:50,025
You are a great writer. You really are.
607
00:43:50,121 --> 00:43:53,830
I love my new scenes.
They're so great. Are they going in?
608
00:43:53,925 --> 00:43:57,099
- That's up to Bowfinger.
- It is?
609
00:44:17,949 --> 00:44:20,759
Yeah, that's sharp. Do the thing.
610
00:44:22,553 --> 00:44:25,033
Yeah, I'm gonna look good
in that. That's bad.
611
00:44:25,122 --> 00:44:27,602
Take care of that.
Send it up to the house for me.
612
00:44:27,692 --> 00:44:29,296
Mr. Ramsey, the store would be happy...
613
00:44:29,393 --> 00:44:31,236
to offer you these clothes
without charge...
614
00:44:31,329 --> 00:44:34,105
if you'd come back Friday,
let us take a picture for...
615
00:44:34,198 --> 00:44:37,304
L.A. Style magazine
of you wearing the clothes.
616
00:44:37,401 --> 00:44:38,401
Oh, I can do that.
617
00:44:38,469 --> 00:44:41,177
It'll cost you $1,000.
I'll be here Friday, 4:00.
618
00:44:41,272 --> 00:44:44,253
- I'm sure that could be arranged.
- Alright. Hundred-dollar bills.
619
00:44:44,342 --> 00:44:46,982
Right.
620
00:44:47,078 --> 00:44:48,537
I know that, I'm not
supposed to be doing this,
621
00:44:48,562 --> 00:44:49,823
but I just want you to know...
622
00:44:49,847 --> 00:44:53,351
that you were so real
in your response to the aliens.
623
00:44:53,451 --> 00:44:56,125
I mean, I wasn't even sure that
I could be a pod person,
624
00:44:56,220 --> 00:45:00,293
but now of course I'm enjoying it
because you made the aliens come alive.
625
00:45:00,391 --> 00:45:02,928
It was like they were
living inside of me.
626
00:45:03,027 --> 00:45:05,064
At first I was nervous
about us having sex,
627
00:45:05,162 --> 00:45:06,892
but now I think it's a
good idea as long as
628
00:45:06,917 --> 00:45:08,724
we do it in a completely
professional manner,
629
00:45:08,799 --> 00:45:11,439
and, of course, you know, there'll be
a lot of people watching.
630
00:45:11,536 --> 00:45:14,016
I won't bother you anymore.
631
00:45:26,150 --> 00:45:28,653
He's in the grotto.
632
00:45:31,822 --> 00:45:34,894
And what did this alien want from you?
633
00:45:34,992 --> 00:45:37,063
She wanted to inhale my gonads!
634
00:45:37,161 --> 00:45:39,801
- Say again?
- My gonads! My gonads!
635
00:45:39,897 --> 00:45:41,668
What they do is. They come down,
they shake your hands
636
00:45:41,693 --> 00:45:43,425
the aliens pretending to shake your
hands, but they're not.
637
00:45:43,501 --> 00:45:46,175
They inhale your gonads
and take 'em back for special research.
638
00:45:46,270 --> 00:45:47,270
I see.
639
00:45:47,338 --> 00:45:48,916
Oh, I did like you said.
I got rid of the Sports Channel.
640
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:51,118
I'm not gonna have no more
encoded gamma beams from Jupiter...
641
00:45:51,442 --> 00:45:52,442
messin' with my mind.
642
00:45:52,510 --> 00:45:54,421
Keep it together. Keep it together.
643
00:45:54,512 --> 00:45:59,086
Kit, maybe you should
stay with us for a few days...
644
00:45:59,183 --> 00:46:02,858
in our special celebrity
relaxing quarters.
645
00:46:02,954 --> 00:46:05,594
You think I need that?
646
00:46:05,690 --> 00:46:07,601
I do.
647
00:46:09,093 --> 00:46:11,699
Hey, go get my checkbook.
648
00:46:11,796 --> 00:46:13,707
Keep it together.
649
00:46:18,169 --> 00:46:20,547
- Can't find Kit.
- What do you mean you can't find Kit?
650
00:46:20,638 --> 00:46:23,219
He's one of the most famous faces
in the world. You can find him.
651
00:46:23,408 --> 00:46:24,478
You can find...you can find him.
652
00:46:24,875 --> 00:46:25,979
No, we can't find him.
653
00:46:26,077 --> 00:46:28,455
We staked out his house,
MindHead, everywhere.
654
00:46:28,546 --> 00:46:31,220
- He's vanished, gone.
- Where is the guy?
655
00:46:31,315 --> 00:46:33,158
We can't shoot our movie
without our star.
656
00:46:33,250 --> 00:46:34,854
Actors have no work ethic these days.
657
00:46:34,952 --> 00:46:37,831
They keep his movements secret.
That cult thing? They control him.
658
00:46:37,922 --> 00:46:39,742
Okay, okay. There must be
a lot of guys who look like Kit.
659
00:46:39,824 --> 00:46:41,895
We'll round up look-alikes
just for the long shots.
660
00:46:41,993 --> 00:46:43,905
We'll shoot 'em from behind
and not show his face.
661
00:46:44,380 --> 00:46:46,917
And look, Kit has shown his ass
in eight of his last ten films,
662
00:46:47,131 --> 00:46:49,077
and eight of his last ten films
have been hits,
663
00:46:49,166 --> 00:46:50,668
so we need a guy with a fabulous ass,
664
00:46:50,768 --> 00:46:54,045
and mine is the wrong color.
665
00:47:00,478 --> 00:47:03,584
Then I studied at the
Moscow Arts Theater for two years...
666
00:47:03,681 --> 00:47:06,218
and did a year at the
National in London.
667
00:47:06,317 --> 00:47:08,695
I'm currently doing a midnight
production of...
668
00:47:08,786 --> 00:47:10,424
Waiting for Godot here in L.A.
669
00:47:11,321 --> 00:47:12,733
And are you in the union?
670
00:47:13,024 --> 00:47:14,697
Yes. Yes, I am.
671
00:47:18,696 --> 00:47:22,769
Currently, I'm packing fries
at the Burger King on Douglas.
672
00:47:22,867 --> 00:47:23,972
Do you have any experience
in motion pictures?
673
00:47:24,669 --> 00:47:25,704
Oh, yeah. Quite a bit, actually.
674
00:47:26,203 --> 00:47:31,084
Quite a bit of experience.
I'm an active renter at Blockbuster,
675
00:47:31,175 --> 00:47:34,588
and I attend the Film Du Cinema...
676
00:47:34,679 --> 00:47:37,216
as much as possible.
677
00:47:37,314 --> 00:47:41,091
Weekly, biweekly,
inter-week, intermediately.
678
00:47:42,385 --> 00:47:44,032
Would you be willing to cut your hair?
679
00:47:47,157 --> 00:47:51,267
Yes, but it's usually better
if someone else does it.
680
00:47:54,231 --> 00:47:57,337
I've had a few accidents.
681
00:48:00,469 --> 00:48:02,134
Uhm. Can you see
without your glasses?
682
00:48:03,159 --> 00:48:03,413
Oh, yeah.
683
00:48:03,541 --> 00:48:05,817
I can see.
684
00:48:05,910 --> 00:48:08,447
I don't really see well, but I can see.
685
00:48:09,546 --> 00:48:10,420
Do you have contacts?
686
00:48:10,545 --> 00:48:12,143
I have...I have contact lenses.
687
00:48:12,216 --> 00:48:15,720
I can wear contact lenses.
That'll...that'll help.
688
00:48:15,820 --> 00:48:18,630
- Can I put my glasses back on?
- Sure, put your glasses back on.
689
00:48:18,723 --> 00:48:20,634
I'm getting a little headache.
690
00:48:20,725 --> 00:48:22,636
Would you be willing to...
691
00:48:22,727 --> 00:48:24,798
show your naked rear end in a movie?
692
00:48:34,105 --> 00:48:36,346
Yeah, I guess so. Yeah.
693
00:48:43,114 --> 00:48:46,652
- This is hard.
- Just one more question.
694
00:48:46,751 --> 00:48:49,357
In addition to being a major
star in this film,
695
00:48:49,453 --> 00:48:51,797
would you also be
willing to run errands?
696
00:48:52,889 --> 00:48:55,962
Oh, gosh, I'm...I'm really hoping
to get a career running errands.
697
00:48:56,060 --> 00:48:57,971
That'd be a major boost for me.
698
00:49:03,334 --> 00:49:05,871
- What did you say your name was?
- Jiffrenson.
699
00:49:05,970 --> 00:49:09,247
- Jiffrenson?
- Jiff. My friends call me Jiff.
700
00:49:09,340 --> 00:49:11,820
Well, Jiff, welcome aboard.
701
00:49:11,909 --> 00:49:14,150
Here's your wardrobe.
702
00:49:14,245 --> 00:49:17,783
All right! All right.
703
00:49:17,882 --> 00:49:21,125
Awesome. Awesome.
704
00:49:21,218 --> 00:49:23,391
All right.
705
00:49:30,561 --> 00:49:33,371
- How do you feel?
- I feel kinda strange.
706
00:49:33,464 --> 00:49:35,842
- You look good. You look tough.
- I do?
707
00:49:35,933 --> 00:49:38,038
Yeah, like an action star.
Look like an action star.
708
00:49:38,135 --> 00:49:42,083
Yeah, shoulders out.
Take a good, deep breath.
709
00:49:42,173 --> 00:49:44,518
Suck it in. That's good. Okay. Now look.
710
00:49:45,609 --> 00:49:47,816
In this scene, you're hurting inside.
711
00:49:47,912 --> 00:49:49,687
You're hurting inside.
You're not sure who to trust.
712
00:49:49,780 --> 00:49:52,155
You wanna run. You wanna run into the
arms of your beloved.
713
00:49:53,551 --> 00:49:56,430
- Hi, I'm Daisy.
- Hi. How are ya?
714
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:59,865
When I yell "action," you are gonna
run from point "A" over there...
715
00:50:02,126 --> 00:50:04,800
to point "B" over here.
716
00:50:04,895 --> 00:50:07,034
That seems kinda hard.
717
00:50:07,131 --> 00:50:09,941
Well, think of it as an errand.
718
00:50:10,034 --> 00:50:13,413
Your errand is to run across the
freeway until I yell "cut."
719
00:50:13,504 --> 00:50:15,711
Oh, I get it.
720
00:50:15,806 --> 00:50:18,309
But doesn't that seem
a little dangerous, though?
721
00:50:18,409 --> 00:50:21,720
Oh, no. We have professional
stuntmen doing the driving.
722
00:50:21,812 --> 00:50:23,314
So you'll be completely safe.
723
00:50:23,414 --> 00:50:26,827
Oh, professional stuntmen.
That's how they do it!
724
00:50:26,917 --> 00:50:27,987
I was wondering, how they did that.
725
00:50:28,085 --> 00:50:30,895
- Stunt drivers.
- Okay, you ready to do one?
726
00:50:30,988 --> 00:50:35,095
Sure. They're going really fast!
727
00:50:44,869 --> 00:50:48,316
And... action!
728
00:50:50,274 --> 00:50:52,276
Come on, Jiff!
729
00:50:52,376 --> 00:50:55,152
Action!
730
00:50:57,648 --> 00:50:59,719
Action!
731
00:51:01,018 --> 00:51:05,262
Keith! Keith! I love you!
732
00:51:17,067 --> 00:51:19,274
Action!
733
00:51:46,997 --> 00:51:48,476
Cut!
734
00:51:53,037 --> 00:51:55,540
Heavenly Father! Heavenly Father!
735
00:51:55,639 --> 00:51:57,641
That was so great! You were fantastic!
736
00:51:57,741 --> 00:51:58,741
Wasn't he great?
737
00:51:58,809 --> 00:52:01,153
Congratulations! That was so good!
738
00:52:01,245 --> 00:52:03,685
- I don't wanna do this anymore.
- What are you talkin' about?
739
00:52:03,747 --> 00:52:07,194
I don't wanna do it.
I just wanna run errands. Heavenly God!
740
00:52:07,284 --> 00:52:09,629
What are you talking about? Not many
people can do what you just did.
741
00:52:09,653 --> 00:52:11,564
The stunt drivers were really impressed.
742
00:52:11,655 --> 00:52:13,692
- Weren't they?
- Really?
743
00:52:13,791 --> 00:52:16,067
Guess what? We got an errand
we want you to do.
744
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,367
- Really?
- We want you to go to Starbucks.
745
00:52:18,462 --> 00:52:20,999
Get coffee for everybody,
a really complicated order.
746
00:52:21,098 --> 00:52:23,009
I would love to just go get some coffee.
747
00:52:23,100 --> 00:52:25,186
And you're the only
person who can do it.
748
00:52:25,211 --> 00:52:26,799
I wanna get the coffee now.
749
00:52:26,870 --> 00:52:29,680
Okay, but first, let's
do this one more time.
750
00:52:29,773 --> 00:52:32,879
Heavenly God! Heavenly God!
Heavenly God!
751
00:52:34,445 --> 00:52:39,360
Bueno trabajo, guys. Good work.
Good work.
752
00:52:39,450 --> 00:52:42,522
Ah, Mr. Bowfinger, Bob...
Can I talk to you about the new scenes?
753
00:52:42,619 --> 00:52:44,187
I haven't decided about
the new scenes yet.
754
00:52:44,212 --> 00:52:45,398
Can I talk to you about them?
755
00:52:45,422 --> 00:52:48,232
- Okay.
- I mean tonight?
756
00:52:51,395 --> 00:52:53,898
Okay.
757
00:53:38,474 --> 00:53:39,919
I'll be right there.
758
00:54:15,712 --> 00:54:18,625
Gets so tiring going out.
I thought we'd eat here.
759
00:54:18,715 --> 00:54:21,924
- I know the maître d' at the Ivy.
- Well, that's so trendy.
760
00:54:22,019 --> 00:54:26,365
- Do you like Vienna sausages?
- Yeah. Do you smell burning hair?
761
00:54:32,029 --> 00:54:33,133
This wine is so good.
762
00:54:33,230 --> 00:54:35,574
You can drink all you
want and not get drunk.
763
00:54:35,666 --> 00:54:37,577
Oh, yeah.
764
00:54:38,136 --> 00:54:41,539
A big local hit in South Dakota.
What are some of your favorite TV shows?
765
00:54:41,638 --> 00:54:42,705
Oh, I love The Flintstones.
766
00:54:42,730 --> 00:54:43,798
Oh, I love The Flintstones too!
767
00:54:43,823 --> 00:54:45,027
That's so good. Do you like that?
768
00:54:45,075 --> 00:54:48,352
- Okay. Do you like walks in the park?
- In the rain!
769
00:54:48,445 --> 00:54:51,318
Oh, God! You know what, I want you
to see The Music Man because...
770
00:54:51,415 --> 00:54:53,993
- I've seen that! I love The Music Man.
- Isn't Robert Preston good?
771
00:54:54,017 --> 00:54:56,497
He's so good.
Do you love Smashing Pumpkins?
772
00:54:56,587 --> 00:54:58,191
Are you kid... I love to do that.
773
00:54:58,288 --> 00:55:00,097
Have you ever had a shiatsu massage?
774
00:55:07,431 --> 00:55:10,469
- I love you so much!
- I love you!
775
00:55:10,567 --> 00:55:11,567
I'm so alive!
776
00:55:11,635 --> 00:55:13,979
That's the word. Alive!
I've never been alive until now.
777
00:55:14,071 --> 00:55:16,449
Never till now.
778
00:55:18,075 --> 00:55:20,351
But I worry about our age difference.
779
00:55:20,444 --> 00:55:24,290
- What is age? It's a state of mind.
- That's the way I feel.
780
00:55:24,381 --> 00:55:26,725
Who cares if when
I hit my sexual peak you'll be 70?
781
00:55:26,817 --> 00:55:29,297
I know! It's Bogey and Bacall.
782
00:55:29,386 --> 00:55:32,060
Who?
783
00:55:32,156 --> 00:55:36,468
I promise to never play
mind games with your head.
784
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,733
You are so today.
785
00:55:38,829 --> 00:55:41,275
- I wanna make love to you!
- I do too!
786
00:55:41,365 --> 00:55:43,971
- Oh, God! I want you so much!
- I want you!
787
00:55:44,067 --> 00:55:47,879
- But I worry.
- Our love is bigger than worry.
788
00:55:47,971 --> 00:55:49,882
- I worry about the scenes.
- The scenes?
789
00:55:49,973 --> 00:55:51,975
If we're gonna shoot the new scenes.
790
00:55:52,075 --> 00:55:54,487
It's so hard to make love,
to give yourself to a man.
791
00:55:54,578 --> 00:55:57,457
Because it's the woman who's entered,
the woman who's violated.
792
00:55:57,548 --> 00:55:59,459
I so understand that.
793
00:55:59,550 --> 00:56:01,723
To know that the man
inside you is part of you,
794
00:56:01,818 --> 00:56:04,992
and that he would not prevent the
added scenes of yours from being shot.
795
00:56:05,088 --> 00:56:07,432
- We're doing the scenes.
- We are?
796
00:56:07,524 --> 00:56:09,284
We're doing the scenes because
I love you, and you're brilliant,
797
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:11,600
and I want you in this movie...
and this movie is your movie.
798
00:56:12,262 --> 00:56:14,640
Let me just go get ready.
799
00:56:46,430 --> 00:56:48,808
I'll never use you.
800
00:56:48,899 --> 00:56:52,210
I will never abuse your trust.
801
00:56:56,706 --> 00:56:57,386
Thank you, Daisy.
802
00:56:57,774 --> 00:57:00,721
Not at all, not at all.
803
00:57:15,859 --> 00:57:17,419
All right, people, are we almost ready?
804
00:57:17,461 --> 00:57:18,461
Yes.
805
00:57:18,528 --> 00:57:20,906
Now what are you seeing?
Are you seeing the fireplace?
806
00:57:20,998 --> 00:57:23,376
We should light the fireplace.
807
00:57:23,467 --> 00:57:26,539
This is a good mark?
808
00:57:29,072 --> 00:57:31,712
Ah, Daisy, my sweetness.
809
00:57:31,808 --> 00:57:34,482
Hi, how are you?
810
00:57:35,746 --> 00:57:37,623
- Hi.
- Are you okay?
811
00:57:37,714 --> 00:57:39,792
Now do you wanna relax little bit first?
Do you wanna shoot?
812
00:57:39,816 --> 00:57:41,162
- Shoot.
- You wanna shoot?
813
00:57:41,351 --> 00:57:43,422
You have such a good work ethic.
I so admire that.
814
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:45,570
Now, here's your mark.
I think these marks are a little small.
815
00:57:45,595 --> 00:57:45,932
Will you be okay...
816
00:57:45,956 --> 00:57:48,095
- Mr. Bowfinger?
- All right, yeah.
817
00:57:48,191 --> 00:57:50,102
We have a very important scene here.
818
00:57:50,193 --> 00:57:55,199
This is one of the hot scenes
that is about heat and, and...
819
00:57:55,299 --> 00:57:58,405
- Chemistry.
- Chemistry.
820
00:57:58,502 --> 00:58:00,675
Oh, so it's the artistic
portion of the film.
821
00:58:00,771 --> 00:58:03,041
That's right, so just
give her a little room,
822
00:58:03,066 --> 00:58:05,039
react normally, be sensitive above all,
823
00:58:05,108 --> 00:58:08,146
because in this scene
Daisy's gonna take off her blouse.
824
00:58:10,580 --> 00:58:13,561
Okay, all right. There's your mark.
825
00:58:13,650 --> 00:58:16,095
Now you understand the scene.
You're not sure if you still love Keith,
826
00:58:16,119 --> 00:58:18,690
but you're offering yourself
to him in order to save the planet.
827
00:58:18,789 --> 00:58:21,296
Okay, Jiff. Right up here.
Now, we're starting here.
828
00:58:21,991 --> 00:58:23,337
Pan up.
829
00:58:23,627 --> 00:58:25,538
And roll sound.
830
00:58:25,629 --> 00:58:28,872
- All right, let's go.
- Speedy.
831
00:58:28,965 --> 00:58:32,174
- Mark.
- You're not sure if you love him,
832
00:58:32,269 --> 00:58:35,910
but you want to save the planet,
and... action.
833
00:58:36,006 --> 00:58:39,010
Keith, I don't know
what's right anymore.
834
00:58:39,109 --> 00:58:42,352
All I know is I have feelings
that make me need you.
835
00:58:42,446 --> 00:58:45,791
Need you now!
836
00:58:56,660 --> 00:58:58,936
Awesome!
837
00:59:01,298 --> 00:59:04,609
You're doing great!
838
00:59:05,701 --> 00:59:07,776
You're gonna be a star.
839
00:59:08,472 --> 00:59:10,383
And... cut.
840
00:59:19,449 --> 00:59:20,764
How's this, boss?
841
00:59:37,134 --> 00:59:39,614
What's going on with him?
842
00:59:39,703 --> 00:59:42,013
We gotta do the aliens arriving
from Wyoming scene,
843
00:59:42,105 --> 00:59:43,243
and Kit hasn't called in.
844
00:59:43,340 --> 00:59:45,479
Someone must know where he is.
845
00:59:45,575 --> 00:59:49,523
I know where Kit Ramsey's
going to be this afternoon.
846
00:59:51,447 --> 00:59:52,693
You do?
847
00:59:52,983 --> 00:59:57,728
Yes. At 4:00 he's going to be
at Max's clothing store for a photo.
848
01:00:04,361 --> 01:00:07,604
Every day I get an offer on this thing.
It's the only one in L.A.
849
01:00:07,697 --> 01:00:08,697
It's a beauty.
850
01:00:08,765 --> 01:00:10,710
There's not a scratch on it.
It's an award-winner.
851
01:00:10,734 --> 01:00:14,272
- Sold three cars to get this.
- You have a great eye for cars.
852
01:00:14,371 --> 01:00:17,909
My wife tried to take it in the divorce.
That would have really hurt.
853
01:00:18,008 --> 01:00:20,579
- Who got the kids?
- Ah, she did.
854
01:00:40,864 --> 01:00:41,906
Wait here a minute.
855
01:00:55,078 --> 01:00:57,684
- Manager in?
- No, he's home today.
856
01:00:57,781 --> 01:01:00,990
Oh, that's odd. We have a permit
to shoot here today.
857
01:01:01,084 --> 01:01:04,065
Weird. Well, we'll just start loading
in the equipment.
858
01:01:04,154 --> 01:01:07,624
- You want me to call him?
- No, I'll call him from the cell phone.
859
01:01:14,698 --> 01:01:16,371
There's a guy in there who's vacuuming.
860
01:01:16,466 --> 01:01:18,104
Tell him you're from the studio.
861
01:01:27,309 --> 01:01:29,848
- Who's in charge here?
- I am.
862
01:01:30,247 --> 01:01:32,318
Do you people have a permit
to film here today?
863
01:01:32,415 --> 01:01:33,416
Oh, yeah.
864
01:01:33,517 --> 01:01:35,588
May I see it, please?
865
01:01:35,685 --> 01:01:37,961
Can I talk to you for a second?
866
01:01:38,054 --> 01:01:40,694
Did you ever think about acting?
867
01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:06,326
- This is it. Roll it.
- Mark!
868
01:02:11,621 --> 01:02:13,862
And... action!
869
01:02:25,535 --> 01:02:29,608
Man, Freddy, that time away
really helped calm my ass, you know?
870
01:02:29,706 --> 01:02:31,845
Thought I was startin'
to crack up there for a while.
871
01:02:31,942 --> 01:02:34,684
You ever think, there
are no conspiracies?
872
01:02:34,778 --> 01:02:36,658
That maybe there's no aliens,
nothing like that?
873
01:02:36,713 --> 01:02:37,890
Everything's just as it seems.
874
01:02:37,914 --> 01:02:40,793
Being alone, by myself, in a chamber...
875
01:02:41,885 --> 01:02:43,592
That was really helpful to me.
876
01:02:43,687 --> 01:02:47,396
So helpful... Freddy?
Where the hell Freddy?
877
01:02:47,490 --> 01:02:49,527
- Hey, Freddy!
- Hey, you!
878
01:02:49,626 --> 01:02:53,540
- Kincaid!
- Freddy!
879
01:02:53,630 --> 01:02:56,873
- You heard me, Kincaid!
- Freddy, don't play with me, man!
880
01:02:56,967 --> 01:02:59,607
Nice try, Kincaid.
881
01:02:59,703 --> 01:03:02,343
Don't act dumb. Where's the plutonium?
882
01:03:02,439 --> 01:03:04,248
Listen, that plutonium is mine.
883
01:03:04,341 --> 01:03:07,515
It's been registered to be used
for religious purposes.
884
01:03:07,611 --> 01:03:11,582
- You actually have some plutonium?
- He's got plutonium?
885
01:03:11,681 --> 01:03:13,319
Freddy, don't play around, man.
886
01:03:13,416 --> 01:03:16,693
Freddy's about to have his guts
replaced with alien hardware.
887
01:03:16,786 --> 01:03:17,786
Aliens?
888
01:03:17,854 --> 01:03:20,596
Oh, my God, Keith!
They told me you were dead!
889
01:03:20,690 --> 01:03:22,465
And now you are dead!
890
01:03:22,559 --> 01:03:24,698
Hey!
891
01:03:27,697 --> 01:03:30,337
Keith, you know,
whenever you kill a pod person,
892
01:03:30,433 --> 01:03:32,037
another one takes its place!
893
01:03:32,135 --> 01:03:34,877
- You won't take me in your spaceship!
- I love you!
894
01:03:34,971 --> 01:03:38,214
Keith! Keith! Keith!
895
01:03:38,308 --> 01:03:40,584
Keith, I love you!
896
01:03:40,677 --> 01:03:42,418
Stay with him! Stay with him!
897
01:03:46,383 --> 01:03:50,092
Oh, hi! I came down because
I wanted to see them shoot you today.
898
01:03:50,186 --> 01:03:52,462
- Shoot me today?
- Keith!
899
01:03:52,555 --> 01:03:55,263
My darling! Please, Keith!
900
01:03:55,358 --> 01:03:56,996
Let me love you! My darling baby!
901
01:03:57,093 --> 01:03:59,505
Come with me!
902
01:04:05,068 --> 01:04:06,604
Stay with him.
903
01:04:12,809 --> 01:04:14,914
Oh, Keith!
904
01:04:15,011 --> 01:04:18,015
He's coming in here!
905
01:04:21,618 --> 01:04:23,325
Cut!
906
01:04:25,055 --> 01:04:26,927
Lyle, you might have
won an Emmy last year,
907
01:04:26,952 --> 01:04:28,526
but that doesn't mean anything here.
908
01:04:28,591 --> 01:04:31,663
I need to see the moment
where you realize he loves you.
909
01:04:31,761 --> 01:04:32,899
He's embroidering for you.
910
01:04:32,996 --> 01:04:35,033
Doesn't that affect you
in your heart somehow?
911
01:04:35,131 --> 01:04:37,008
- Doesn't that make you...
- Kit Ramsey!
912
01:04:37,100 --> 01:04:39,774
Hey, yo! Over here, man.
I got the car running.
913
01:04:39,869 --> 01:04:41,989
- Freddy, show me your guts!
- What you talkin' about?
914
01:04:42,038 --> 01:04:44,951
- Show me your guts right now!
- What?
915
01:04:45,041 --> 01:04:47,043
There are pod people all over the place!
916
01:04:47,143 --> 01:04:49,384
Pod people? Run! Run!
917
01:04:49,479 --> 01:04:51,982
Come on. We're gonna shoot scene 35!
918
01:04:53,616 --> 01:04:56,222
Keith! Keith!
919
01:04:56,319 --> 01:04:58,993
Who the hell is Keith? Open the door!
920
01:04:59,089 --> 01:05:00,625
Keith!
921
01:05:06,732 --> 01:05:07,911
Go, go, go, Freddy!
922
01:05:09,364 --> 01:05:11,910
And... cut!
923
01:05:13,870 --> 01:05:15,907
You know, I must say,
924
01:05:16,005 --> 01:05:20,454
I am becoming more and more impressed
with Mr. Ramsey's acting style.
925
01:05:20,543 --> 01:05:22,489
I'm learning a lot from him.
926
01:05:22,579 --> 01:05:24,490
I haven't felt like I have
been doing much of anything.
927
01:05:24,514 --> 01:05:27,584
What are you talking about?
You look like Kit Ramsey. That's talent.
928
01:05:27,684 --> 01:05:29,995
There are people who couldn't look like
Kit Ramsey if their life depended...
929
01:05:30,019 --> 01:05:32,431
Robert DeNiro, could not
look like Kit Ramsey.
930
01:05:32,522 --> 01:05:34,593
He annoys me anyway.
931
01:05:34,691 --> 01:05:36,796
If I go to the store
to get some coffee for somebody,
932
01:05:36,893 --> 01:05:39,032
I know that I'm the one
who'll get the coffee for somebody.
933
01:05:39,129 --> 01:05:41,837
I'm the one that's doing it.
I'm the one that got the coffee.
934
01:05:41,931 --> 01:05:44,744
I got it from point "A" to point "B."
I made sure the napkin was in the bag.
935
01:05:44,768 --> 01:05:47,749
I made sure there was cream in the bag,
there was sugar in the bag.
936
01:05:47,837 --> 01:05:51,410
I did it. Me! You know?
937
01:05:51,508 --> 01:05:55,957
It's weird for...
To get credit for lookin' like somebody.
938
01:05:56,045 --> 01:05:57,547
What is...what is that?
939
01:05:57,647 --> 01:05:59,524
That's a gift!
940
01:05:59,616 --> 01:06:03,689
I don't know how much of a gift it is.
I mean, I am his brother.
941
01:06:05,455 --> 01:06:08,436
And that's what's so great
about working with you guys.
942
01:06:08,525 --> 01:06:09,525
The story of my life.
943
01:06:09,592 --> 01:06:12,095
Whenever someone finds out
I'm related to Kit Ramsey,
944
01:06:12,195 --> 01:06:15,642
they want me to introduce them
to him, and I can understand that.
945
01:06:15,732 --> 01:06:16,732
But it gets too...
946
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:19,974
It feels good to have somebody
like you for you, you know?
947
01:06:20,069 --> 01:06:22,276
It's great. I feel great.
948
01:06:25,308 --> 01:06:28,414
- You get along with your brother?
- Oh, yeah.
949
01:06:28,511 --> 01:06:31,151
We haven't seen him in a while.
He's been so busy lately.
950
01:06:31,247 --> 01:06:33,158
He's crankin' 'em out, back-to-back.
951
01:06:33,249 --> 01:06:35,729
He didn't even come home
for last Christmas, man.
952
01:06:35,819 --> 01:06:40,131
- Oh. I'm sorry, darling.
- That's okay.
953
01:06:40,223 --> 01:06:43,102
I'm here with this
fantastic group of people...
954
01:06:43,193 --> 01:06:44,831
who accept me for who I am,
955
01:06:44,928 --> 01:06:48,637
just a poor, stupid brother of
some guy that everybody loves.
956
01:06:55,738 --> 01:06:58,378
So, are you from a show-business family?
957
01:06:58,474 --> 01:07:01,011
We're screwed. We luck into the
biggest thing of our life,
958
01:07:01,110 --> 01:07:03,488
the brother of the
world's hottest movie star,
959
01:07:03,580 --> 01:07:06,158
- and it turns out I have a conscience.
- Don't be so hard on yourself.
960
01:07:06,182 --> 01:07:08,093
Did you hear him? He's an innocent.
961
01:07:08,184 --> 01:07:10,926
He told us how much he loved us.
962
01:07:11,020 --> 01:07:13,523
I just can't do it.
963
01:07:13,623 --> 01:07:17,571
I gotta take the camera back.
You'll work it out.
964
01:07:17,660 --> 01:07:20,140
I can't do it.
965
01:07:20,230 --> 01:07:23,677
- A mi me gusta el Citizen Kane.
- Muy buena película.
966
01:07:23,766 --> 01:07:27,646
Muy Buena. Apocalypse Now.
967
01:07:27,737 --> 01:07:30,547
The Godfather. Dr. Strangelove.
968
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:32,551
- Stanley Kubrick.
- A Clockwork Orange.
969
01:07:32,642 --> 01:07:34,644
Mr. Bowfinger.
970
01:07:34,744 --> 01:07:38,521
Mr. Bowfinger, I got
something to tell you.
971
01:07:38,615 --> 01:07:41,061
I have something to tell you.
Come over here.
972
01:07:41,150 --> 01:07:43,653
- Can I talk first?
- All right, all right.
973
01:07:43,753 --> 01:07:46,529
I wanna tell you something.
Being Kit Ramsey's brother,
974
01:07:46,623 --> 01:07:49,968
sometimes it has its
fringe benefits sometimes.
975
01:07:50,059 --> 01:07:52,130
How do you mean?
976
01:07:53,596 --> 01:07:57,840
You'll never guess
who I had intercourse with in the van.
977
01:08:06,009 --> 01:08:09,547
Isn't that cool?
978
01:08:09,646 --> 01:08:13,093
She gave me the works, man.
She is the most inventive girl.
979
01:08:13,182 --> 01:08:16,925
- Can I see you in my office?
- Yeah, sure, man. She's so strong.
980
01:08:17,020 --> 01:08:20,593
She's pure power and speed. Real hot.
981
01:08:20,690 --> 01:08:23,238
Okay, listen. I got an errand for you.
982
01:08:24,727 --> 01:08:27,094
Listen, I want you to go to Starbucks.
983
01:08:27,119 --> 01:08:28,597
Go to Starbucks and I want
you to get some coffee.
984
01:08:28,665 --> 01:08:30,050
- Go to Starbucks, and get some coffee.
- Bring it back here.
985
01:08:30,052 --> 01:08:30,674
Bring the coffee back.
986
01:08:30,767 --> 01:08:32,444
But, you're gonna need napkins,
enough for everybody.
987
01:08:32,468 --> 01:08:33,468
That's perfect. I got that.
988
01:08:33,536 --> 01:08:35,293
Ok, then I want you to call
your brother, find out when he's
989
01:08:35,318 --> 01:08:37,040
leaving his house next and
find out where he's going.
990
01:08:37,106 --> 01:08:39,152
Find out when my brother's leaving his
house next, and find out where he's going.
991
01:08:39,276 --> 01:08:40,221
Right. Then I want you
to go to a stationery store
992
01:08:40,246 --> 01:08:41,711
and I want you to pick up some pencils.
993
01:08:41,711 --> 01:08:42,712
Pick up some pencils from the store.
994
01:08:42,712 --> 01:08:44,757
- Then you sharpen them.
- Make sure the pencils are sharp.
995
01:08:44,781 --> 01:08:46,624
- Okay, you got it?
- Yeah, I got it.
996
01:08:46,716 --> 01:08:51,256
Coffee, napkins, stationery,
find out when my brother's leaving.
997
01:08:51,354 --> 01:08:55,359
- Ride like the wind.
- I'm gone, man! Gone!
998
01:08:55,458 --> 01:08:57,836
I wanna see you.
999
01:09:03,632 --> 01:09:05,612
- We are finished. We are over.
- How come?
1000
01:09:05,702 --> 01:09:08,239
- You had sex with Jiff.
- So?
1001
01:09:08,338 --> 01:09:10,482
- I never thought of it that way.
- I'll see you tonight?
1002
01:09:10,506 --> 01:09:12,486
- What time? Okay.
- 8:00.
1003
01:09:56,051 --> 01:09:57,898
There's someone who thinks
he should talk to you.
1004
01:09:58,588 --> 01:10:01,967
He says it concerns Kit Ramsey.
1005
01:10:09,599 --> 01:10:13,274
This is Bob. He is a level six.
He's been with us for four years.
1006
01:10:13,369 --> 01:10:16,145
There's something he wants to tell you.
1007
01:10:20,009 --> 01:10:23,422
Hey, Jack, just takin'
her out for a wash.
1008
01:10:23,513 --> 01:10:24,719
Okay, Dave.
1009
01:10:39,427 --> 01:10:40,733
And we still have this one last scene,
the big ending,
1010
01:10:40,830 --> 01:10:42,832
or we don't have a movie.
1011
01:10:42,932 --> 01:10:46,539
- I know what else we don't have.
- What?
1012
01:10:47,136 --> 01:10:48,707
Permission.
1013
01:10:50,905 --> 01:10:53,199
Did you know Tom Cruise
had no idea he was
1014
01:10:53,224 --> 01:10:55,571
in that vampire movie
till two years later?
1015
01:10:56,646 --> 01:10:58,250
Hello?
1016
01:10:58,347 --> 01:11:01,226
Hi, Jiff.
1017
01:11:03,186 --> 01:11:05,723
He's leaving his house
at 4:45 to go to MindHead.
1018
01:11:05,822 --> 01:11:06,822
Great work, Jiff. Great work.
1019
01:11:06,889 --> 01:11:10,837
Now, we really need those
pencils, buddy. Okay.
1020
01:11:10,927 --> 01:11:13,269
- I will see you at the location.
- Good.
1021
01:11:13,273 --> 01:11:15,844
Alright, we are about to shoot
the final scene in this movie.
1022
01:11:16,432 --> 01:11:18,571
I just got off the phone with Kit.
He is very excited.
1023
01:11:18,668 --> 01:11:19,679
So know your jobs, please.
1024
01:11:19,704 --> 01:11:21,104
Don't screw up. Come on. Let's go.
1025
01:11:21,170 --> 01:11:23,411
We have one hour to get there.
Come on. Let's go.
1026
01:11:23,506 --> 01:11:26,976
Make sure Slater has finished painting
that car! Come on. Let's go!
1027
01:11:27,076 --> 01:11:28,853
Oh, Daisy, Daisy, good.
Can I talk to you about the scene?
1028
01:11:28,877 --> 01:11:29,377
Sure.
1029
01:11:29,445 --> 01:11:32,688
Alright. Good, now listen.
This is a very difficult scene for Kit.
1030
01:11:32,782 --> 01:11:35,194
He is probably not gonna want
to get in that car with you.
1031
01:11:35,284 --> 01:11:36,521
In fact, he'll probably really really
1032
01:11:36,546 --> 01:11:37,982
resist because of his
character, I think.
1033
01:11:38,054 --> 01:11:40,227
So you have to be very,
very persuasive because...
1034
01:11:40,323 --> 01:11:42,894
Because he doesn't know
he's in the movie.
1035
01:11:43,992 --> 01:11:45,734
I know what's going on.
1036
01:11:45,828 --> 01:11:49,366
I may be from Ohio, but
I'm not from Ohio.
1037
01:11:51,165 --> 01:11:52,207
I'm not mad.
1038
01:11:52,301 --> 01:11:55,248
- I'm working, aren't I?
- But...
1039
01:11:55,338 --> 01:11:57,716
But... Who told you?
1040
01:11:57,807 --> 01:12:00,253
We're packed and loaded.
1041
01:12:00,343 --> 01:12:02,118
Oh, hi, honey.
1042
01:12:02,211 --> 01:12:03,211
Hi, sweetie.
1043
01:12:03,279 --> 01:12:06,317
Will you make sure my
makeup case is in the van?
1044
01:12:10,920 --> 01:12:13,127
Let's hit it!
1045
01:13:12,548 --> 01:13:14,619
Hey, yo! Anybody want a Frostee Freeze?
1046
01:13:14,717 --> 01:13:16,993
I look like I want some
damn Frostee Freeze?
1047
01:13:26,429 --> 01:13:27,601
Holy shit!
1048
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:32,404
- Hey, reverse it! Reverse it!
- I got it.
1049
01:13:34,804 --> 01:13:36,875
Hold on!
1050
01:13:36,973 --> 01:13:38,714
What the hell?
1051
01:13:45,147 --> 01:13:47,889
It's the dead guy!
1052
01:13:59,862 --> 01:14:03,241
Oh, please. Oh, please don't let me die!
1053
01:14:11,173 --> 01:14:14,347
This is awesome!
1054
01:14:37,066 --> 01:14:39,205
It's going down!
1055
01:14:39,302 --> 01:14:41,282
Right now it's going down.
I'm so glad y'all here.
1056
01:14:41,370 --> 01:14:42,371
Okay!
1057
01:14:42,471 --> 01:14:45,145
- I'm Kit Ramsey!
- Whatcha doin'? That's Kit Ramsey.
1058
01:14:45,241 --> 01:14:47,315
You know who I am?
You know who I am, right?
1059
01:14:47,339 --> 01:14:48,009
I wanna make a report.
1060
01:14:48,010 --> 01:14:50,752
Please, one at a time. I can't hear you.
1061
01:14:50,846 --> 01:14:52,587
Hey, come on now.
I'm number 13 on Premiere's power list.
1062
01:14:52,682 --> 01:14:53,682
What are you doin', man?
1063
01:14:53,749 --> 01:14:57,925
Uh, tough guys like you
don't get far in this world, mister.
1064
01:14:58,020 --> 01:15:00,899
We've been gettin'
pursued by alien forces!
1065
01:15:00,990 --> 01:15:02,936
Ah, aliens!
1066
01:15:23,779 --> 01:15:27,352
I knew I should never have slept with
the alien life-forms...
1067
01:15:27,450 --> 01:15:29,020
from the star system Neon!
1068
01:15:36,726 --> 01:15:39,263
Oh, shit!
1069
01:15:42,798 --> 01:15:45,677
My gonads! My gonads!
1070
01:15:45,768 --> 01:15:50,308
Keith, there's only one way
out of this. Follow me!
1071
01:15:52,074 --> 01:15:54,350
Kiss you? Now?
1072
01:15:56,312 --> 01:15:58,690
Keith, danger really turns you on!
1073
01:15:59,781 --> 01:16:01,194
Get in the car.
1074
01:16:01,784 --> 01:16:04,628
We've got to get to the alien antenna
before the summer solstice!
1075
01:16:04,720 --> 01:16:08,463
You best hurry! I'm Keith.
1076
01:16:42,525 --> 01:16:45,438
That way, Carol. This way.
1077
01:16:49,965 --> 01:16:51,410
Hi, Bill, we're here!
1078
01:16:51,500 --> 01:16:54,071
Put the tripod there. All right, ready?
1079
01:16:54,170 --> 01:16:56,673
We gotta eat, Keith. How we could
know if we're starving?
1080
01:16:56,772 --> 01:17:00,413
I needed love, love so strong,
but the alien embryos had already...
1081
01:17:00,509 --> 01:17:04,116
Hit the lights! They're
coming up the drive.
1082
01:17:05,013 --> 01:17:06,224
Action.
1083
01:17:08,083 --> 01:17:08,828
Get out!
1084
01:17:11,520 --> 01:17:12,999
There's the alien antenna.
1085
01:17:13,088 --> 01:17:16,001
That's where you must go
to say, "Gotcha, suckas!"
1086
01:17:16,091 --> 01:17:19,629
If you don't, we will
all become pod people.
1087
01:17:19,728 --> 01:17:22,265
Cut! Let's move the camera.
1088
01:17:22,364 --> 01:17:26,141
Already impregnate everyone,
including the C.I.A. and the F.B.I.!
1089
01:17:26,235 --> 01:17:28,578
Soon as you're set,
start rolling on the stairwell.
1090
01:17:30,072 --> 01:17:31,210
In here!
1091
01:17:37,213 --> 01:17:39,351
They're all aliens
worshipping their false gods.
1092
01:17:43,686 --> 01:17:47,156
- Come on! Come on!
- No! No!
1093
01:17:47,256 --> 01:17:49,964
Keith, keep running
since you're the one person...
1094
01:17:50,059 --> 01:17:51,970
I got 'em.
1095
01:17:52,061 --> 01:17:54,769
Oh, shit!
1096
01:17:54,864 --> 01:17:57,276
Cut to the stairwell.
1097
01:17:57,366 --> 01:18:01,337
Then I realized it was you
I loved and I thought about you...
1098
01:18:01,437 --> 01:18:03,246
Okay, the roof is your next shot.
1099
01:18:04,607 --> 01:18:07,110
Bastard! Bastard!
1100
01:18:07,209 --> 01:18:10,019
- No, no, I'm Keith!
- Bastard!
1101
01:18:14,783 --> 01:18:16,785
Stop it right now!
1102
01:18:16,886 --> 01:18:19,025
Stop it!
1103
01:18:28,430 --> 01:18:32,003
Oh, shit!
1104
01:18:32,101 --> 01:18:34,513
She was from the planet Neon!
1105
01:18:34,603 --> 01:18:35,603
Am I stupid!
1106
01:18:35,671 --> 01:18:37,981
Don't bring that shit over here!
Put that down!
1107
01:18:38,073 --> 01:18:40,883
And cut! Okay, outside.
1108
01:18:40,976 --> 01:18:43,013
Drop that shit!
1109
01:18:45,548 --> 01:18:46,549
We must run.
1110
01:18:46,649 --> 01:18:49,892
We have only 40 seconds
before the ax will come down!
1111
01:18:56,959 --> 01:18:59,838
Okay, this is it. We only need one shot.
1112
01:19:08,470 --> 01:19:11,178
Only one thing can stop them now.
1113
01:19:11,273 --> 01:19:13,480
- If you say, "Gotcha, suckas!"
- What?
1114
01:19:14,676 --> 01:19:16,550
- Okay, put your hands right here.
- What?
1115
01:19:16,845 --> 01:19:19,416
Go! Cue the pyrotechnics.
1116
01:19:20,983 --> 01:19:22,485
Hey! Shit!
1117
01:19:22,585 --> 01:19:24,758
Oh, my God! It's time!
1118
01:19:26,188 --> 01:19:28,566
Look into the sky and
say, "Gotcha, suckas!"
1119
01:19:28,657 --> 01:19:30,864
Kincaid!
1120
01:19:35,631 --> 01:19:39,169
- G... G...
- Gotcha, suckas!
1121
01:19:39,268 --> 01:19:41,771
Come on, say it.
1122
01:19:41,870 --> 01:19:43,850
G... G...
1123
01:19:43,939 --> 01:19:46,886
Come on, say it!
1124
01:20:29,217 --> 01:20:29,956
Well!
1125
01:20:30,352 --> 01:20:32,696
It seems the paranoid...
1126
01:20:32,788 --> 01:20:36,395
are sometimes actually being followed.
1127
01:20:36,492 --> 01:20:38,768
This film is only for
Madagascar and Iran,
1128
01:20:38,861 --> 01:20:41,933
neither of which accept
American copyright or trademark law.
1129
01:20:42,031 --> 01:20:45,604
Terry! Hi! I'm Keith Kincaid.
1130
01:20:45,701 --> 01:20:48,341
I saved the world.
1131
01:20:49,638 --> 01:20:51,675
I saved it.
1132
01:21:05,654 --> 01:21:10,603
I have eight brothers, and four
sisters, and no job! I'm screwed!
1133
01:21:10,693 --> 01:21:13,640
There's no movie! I mean,
I can't believe there's no movie!
1134
01:21:13,729 --> 01:21:16,010
You know, I wasn't looking for work,
'cause I thought I was working.
1135
01:21:16,065 --> 01:21:18,909
I showed my breasts on film. For what?
1136
01:21:19,001 --> 01:21:20,001
I'm a felon.
1137
01:21:20,069 --> 01:21:22,845
My friends, I have a
cousin who's a lawyer.
1138
01:21:22,938 --> 01:21:26,943
I say we take action. We sue. Sue! Sue!
1139
01:21:27,042 --> 01:21:29,545
Carol, what do you think?
1140
01:21:32,281 --> 01:21:34,192
I think...
1141
01:21:36,051 --> 01:21:39,225
I think it was a beautiful lie.
1142
01:22:01,677 --> 01:22:03,953
It could've worked.
1143
01:22:10,652 --> 01:22:12,791
Boss, what you want me
to do with this stuff?
1144
01:22:12,888 --> 01:22:14,501
- What is it?
- It's the film.
1145
01:22:14,691 --> 01:22:17,297
I told him to follow Kit around
and get some random shots.
1146
01:22:17,594 --> 01:22:18,995
We never know. We could've used it.
1147
01:22:19,695 --> 01:22:21,470
The trash is outside.
1148
01:22:21,563 --> 01:22:24,442
- I wanna take a look at it.
- Why hurt ourselves?
1149
01:22:24,533 --> 01:22:26,604
We need Kit Ramsey's
permission, remember?
1150
01:22:26,702 --> 01:22:29,376
Why didn't someone bring
that up to me at some point?
1151
01:22:30,806 --> 01:22:35,118
Hold up, hold up, hold up. Serve.
1152
01:22:38,479 --> 01:22:38,890
Useless.
1153
01:22:38,981 --> 01:22:41,655
A tennis-playing alien fighter.
1154
01:22:47,723 --> 01:22:49,430
Nice work, guys.
1155
01:22:49,525 --> 01:22:52,335
Thank you, Mr. Bowfinger.
We used a Pro-Mist,
1156
01:22:52,427 --> 01:22:56,432
and tried to open up the aperture
so we can give him a rim light.
1157
01:23:03,238 --> 01:23:05,479
What's he doing?
1158
01:23:17,519 --> 01:23:19,932
I think we just got our permission.
1159
01:23:38,440 --> 01:23:40,351
Hey, Laker Girls.
1160
01:23:46,715 --> 01:23:48,695
It's not funny!
1161
01:24:01,263 --> 01:24:04,369
You realize there's not a court
in the country...
1162
01:24:04,466 --> 01:24:06,810
wouldn't consider this blackmail!
1163
01:24:06,902 --> 01:24:10,475
You know what?
I don't know anything about blackmail...
1164
01:24:10,572 --> 01:24:13,348
'cause I'm just a guy, a guy
with a great film in the can.
1165
01:24:13,442 --> 01:24:15,720
All I really need is a shot
of Kit saying, "Gotcha, suckas"...
1166
01:24:15,744 --> 01:24:17,690
and a couple of close-ups.
1167
01:24:17,779 --> 01:24:21,886
Or we've to tag our film with a shot of
Kit wagging his thing at the Laker Girls.
1168
01:24:21,984 --> 01:24:24,555
Which is a great ending.
I mean, who wouldn't wanna see that?
1169
01:24:24,653 --> 01:24:27,099
Although technically,
it's not such a good ending for Kit...
1170
01:24:27,189 --> 01:24:29,430
because it could sort of
stop his money flow...
1171
01:24:29,524 --> 01:24:35,133
and possibly make that family film
he's about to do, just pff-ff!
1172
01:24:39,534 --> 01:24:42,378
We'll have to think about it.
1173
01:24:42,471 --> 01:24:47,716
I mean, we'll have
to think about it... for Kit.
1174
01:24:52,414 --> 01:24:54,951
Well, now that you've
had time to think about it,
1175
01:24:55,050 --> 01:25:00,124
what do you and the other fellows
here at MindFu... Head think?
1176
01:25:30,519 --> 01:25:33,966
- Give it up for Kit!
- Yeah!
1177
01:25:35,557 --> 01:25:38,970
Hey, good to see you.
1178
01:25:39,061 --> 01:25:42,702
Sir? This way.
1179
01:26:02,317 --> 01:26:05,662
Not bad seats. Not bad seats at all!
1180
01:26:24,506 --> 01:26:27,680
C.I.A. operative, Todd Delmonico,
1181
01:26:27,776 --> 01:26:30,723
drove his '53 Buick to
meet Keith Kincaid.
1182
01:26:32,547 --> 01:26:35,391
Kincaid!
1183
01:26:35,484 --> 01:26:39,346
It had rained that day.
But was it normal rain?
1184
01:26:39,371 --> 01:26:41,220
Or was it Chubby Rain?
1185
01:26:41,289 --> 01:26:43,496
- Freddy!
- You heard me there, Kincaid.
1186
01:26:43,592 --> 01:26:45,503
Hey, Freddy?
1187
01:26:49,998 --> 01:26:53,309
Freddy's about to have his guts
replaced with alien hardware!
1188
01:27:15,657 --> 01:27:18,194
Gotcha, suckas!
1189
01:27:32,207 --> 01:27:34,744
Oh, yeah!
1190
01:27:34,843 --> 01:27:38,791
A hit. A hit.
1191
01:28:01,069 --> 01:28:02,980
Hey, you guys!
1192
01:28:03,071 --> 01:28:05,677
I want you to meet somebody.
1193
01:28:05,774 --> 01:28:08,618
Everybody, this is Farrah.
Farrah and I met at the premiere.
1194
01:28:08,710 --> 01:28:11,452
Farrah's one of the
most powerful lesbians in Hollywood.
1195
01:28:11,546 --> 01:28:14,720
Bravo!
1196
01:28:23,525 --> 01:28:26,062
I can't talk to you right now.
1197
01:29:38,500 --> 01:29:42,243
It's an offer to direct a movie in
Taiwan starring Kit Ramsey's brother.
1198
01:29:42,337 --> 01:29:46,183
- Oh, my God! Are you serious?
- Bravo!
1199
01:29:46,274 --> 01:29:49,346
We're goin' to Taiwan!
1200
01:30:55,567 --> 01:30:57,478
Jiff! Jiff! Jiff!
1201
01:31:12,352 --> 01:31:14,068
Good to see you again, brother.
1202
01:31:42,110 --> 01:31:45,853
Ching-haya-shaka-lay, suckas!
1203
01:36:44,970 --> 01:36:46,246
I saved the world!
1204
01:36:48,822 --> 01:36:50,062
I saved it.
94155
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