All language subtitles for 22 - Three Wishes

Good morning, Samantha.

I just popped in
on my way to the Kasbah.

Ben Ahmed is giving the most
marvellous cocktail party...

...for the prime minister.

Well, that's lovely, Mother,
but I can't talk right now.

I overslept, and Darrin's
breakfast isn't ready.

Oh, very well. I'll pitch in and help.

No, don't.

Hello?

No, ma'am.
This is the Stephens residence.

I'm afraid you have
the wrong number.

It's quite all right.

Yeah.

Hello?

No, ma'am, I'm sorry.
You have the wrong number.

It's quite all right.

Digit dialling.

Hello? No, ma'am, I am sorry,
this is not the Sunnydale Rest Home.

No, I don't mean I'm sorry it's not.
It isn't.

Or is it?

Three wrong numbers in a row?

That was no lady.
That was my mother-in-law.

What are they up to?

Hello? Listen, if you ring
this phone one more time, I'm--

Oh, hello, Larry.

Sorry I shouted at you.
Thought you were my mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law? You're not afraid
to talk like that to your mother-in-law?

Darrin, if you were here,
I'd get your autograph.

Instead, I got some news for you.
You're gonna take a little trip.

Where?

When?

Well, in that case, maybe Sam would--

Well, of course, if they aren't.

Yeah.

Oh, sure. Bye, Lar.

Breakfast is ready.

-Bad news.
-I resent you addressing me like that.

I wasn't addressing you.
I just said "bad news."

-You were looking at me.
-If the shoe fits....

I'm warning you, shoes can kick.

-What do you mean, bad news?
-We're going to Honolulu.

-When?
-This afternoon.

-We are? Honolulu?
-Sam.

-And you call that bad news?
-Sam.

Well, you certainly didn't give me
much time to brush up on my hula.

-Honey, it's business.
-That's marvellous.

It's more fun on an expense account.

Sam, you're not going.
I can't take you.

You said "we."

"We" means the clients and myself.

They can't take their wives,
so I can't very well take you.

It might get them in trouble
with their own wives.

Well, it certainly was
an exciting trip while it lasted.

I don't think I could get to Honolulu
and back that fast flying solo.

I don't know what business it is
of theirs whether I take my wife or not.

-Oh, Darrin, it doesn't matter.
-It's the principle of the thing.

Darrin, if you really
wanted me to go...

...I could turn myself into
a necktie and sort of hang around.

No, that's out.

I'm not taking you along
through witchcraft.

All right, that's settled.
Now, eat your breakfast.

I won't have time. I have to meet
the clients, come back and pack.

-But you have to eat something.
-Don't worry.

I'll call the coffee shop and have
them send me some jelly doughnuts.

Oh, my.

He'll never win an Oscar
for that performance.

What do you mean, performance?

I wouldn't trust a mortal
out of my spell for two seconds.

He's up to something.

Oh, Mother.
You know, you're impossible.

I know Darrin.
He really wishes I could go.

Very well.

We'll see how good he is at wishing.

I've given him
three wishes to prove it.

You what? You can't.

I already have.

Mother, that's worse than
reading somebody else's mail.

Worse? It's almost as good as.

Now you'll know
how three-faced mortals are.

Betty, make eight copies of this,
will you, please?

Larry. Well, you certainly got down
to the office early this morning.

-Morning, Betty.
-Good morning.

I had to revise some estimates
before the committee meeting.

I hate to do financial work at home.

Every time Louise sees
a dollar sign, she shops.

Mr. Stephens, I have your ticket.

Don't give it to him. Give it to me.

Change of plans.
The clients just called.

Seems they'd rather have
the head of the company with them.

-And that's me.
-You're kidding.

I wish I were. I had other plans.

Man, did I have other plans.

Well, I'd better call Sam.
She may have started packing already.

Well, I wonder what he'd like
to take to Honolulu.

Toss a coin. Blond or redhead.

Oh, very funny.

Hello?

Oh, hi, sweetheart. I just got
your suitcase out of the closet.

Well, put it back in the closet.
I don't have to go.

-You don't?
-The clients want Larry to go instead.

They changed their minds
just like that.

-Oh, wonderful.
-What is so funny?

He got his first wish.
He doesn't have to go to Honolulu.

The clients changed their minds
just like that. He's not going.

-Just like that, eh?
-Oh, Mother, you're such a sore loser.

Sweetheart, I have an idea.
The suitcase gave it to me.

This weekend, why don't we--?

Hold it. Don't get your hopes up.

With Larry gone,
I'll have a lot of extra work.

Starting with Buffy Baker.

You have to escort her
to the sales convention lunch...

...and cocktails later.

Sam, I may be a little late
for dinner tonight.

You have to take her where?

Her?

To a luncheon and cocktails?
Sure, sweetheart, that's fine. Bye-bye.

Goodbye, sweetheart.
See you tonight.

-Has to take her where?
-Oh, Mother, it's purely routine.

I'll bet it's routine.

Darrin's company is handling
the advertising...

...for the
Tropical Bathing Suit campaign.

A her in a bathing suit?

Now we're getting
to the heart of the first wish.

Save your smirking, Mother.
It's purely normal and natural.

When Larry leaves,
Darrin has to take over for him.

I'm curious.

I'm really curious to see
what his second wish will be.

You are evil.

Excuse me. She's here.

Buffy? Ask her to come in.

Well, come in, come in, come in.

-Aren't I in?
-Isn't she cute?

I believe you know Mr. Stephens.

Oh, yes. I never forget a face.

Easy, Buffy. You all right?

Oh, there you are.

Sorry, Mr. Stephens, but the company
asked me not to wear my glasses.

They said when I'm in a bathing suit,
I'm not the one doing the looking.

Yes. I mean, hello.

Hello.

-Won't you sit down?
-Oh, yes.

There you are.

I've been called out
of town on business...

...so Mr. Stephens will escort you
to the luncheon and cocktail party.

Oh, how sweet of you.

He'll make a speech introducing you.

Oh, I'm just breathless to hear it.

And tomorrow the car will pick you up
and take you to the airport.

Remember, you've got
a banquet in Boston.

I know. And then
the day after tomorrow...

...I have a luncheon in Chicago...

...and then a banquet in Detroit...

...then I'm off three days
to reduce before St. Louis.

Mr. Stephens will take
wonderful care of you.

My, how cosy that will be, won't it?

Darrin, before I go to Honolulu,
I want you to know one thing.

-What?
-I hate you.

-Hi, honey.
-Hi. Larry get off all right?

-Right on the button. What's for dinner?
-Creamed chicken.

-Thought you liked it.
-I had it for lunch.

I'm sorry.
I can fix you something else.

Oh, no. I love yours.

It'll help me forget that stuff
I had at the luncheon.

I saw Buffy's bathing suit ad
in a magazine this afternoon.

Is she really as pretty in person
as she is in pictures?

Prettier. But up here, nothing.

Well, anyone who's as pretty as she is
doesn't need anything up here.

Well, pretty or not,
I'm stuck with her.

I'm going to have to fly to Boston
to introduce her at a sales banquet.

Boston?

My lousy luck. They liked
my speech so much...

...they insisted I repeat it
tomorrow in Boston.

How long will you be gone?

Thanks to the jet age, I should
be back in time for dinner.

-If you don't mind waiting till 9 or 10.
-Thought you said it was a banquet.

I've had my last forkful
of creamed chicken.

I'm not going to eat--
I mean, banquet creamed chicken.

You don't have to explain.

I want to be back in time
to have dinner with you.

I'd better call Buffy.

Larry told me to keep
close tabs on her.

She can't remember
what city she's in.

Wish number two, Buffy in Boston.

Hello, Mother.
I thought you were in the Kasbah.

I was, but I wouldn't
miss this for the world.

You're wasting your time.

-Samantha.
-Yes, sweetheart?

Is my dinner jacket back from the
cleaners? I wanna wear it on the plane.

-Yes, it's in the closet.
-Dinner jacket.

How positively gala.

He's not eating there. He's coming
home to have dinner with me.

Maybe he will and maybe he won't.

I'd say it all depends
on wish number three.

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, hi, sweetheart. Where are you?

Boston?

But, Darrin, you said that--

Well, why can't you get a plane?
Didn't you make a reservation?

Oh, but, sweetheart, that's absurd.

Why aren't the planes taking off?

Honey, Boston has been hit
by a sudden snowstorm.

A snowstorm?

Why, it's so warm and balmy here
we were gonna have dinner on the patio.

I don't care what it's like there.

I'm trying to tell you
what it's like here.

Boston's been hit
by a freak snowstorm.

A freak snowstorm?

When I give wishes,
they're really spectacular.

And all the flights are cancelled.

Oh, no, honey. I'm all right.
I have a room right here at the hotel.

Yes, the same one
where they had the banquet.

It's pretty full because
of the convention...

...but I managed to get a room.

Now, don't worry.
I'm perfectly all right.

I'll see you as soon
as I can get a plane out of here.

All right, sweetheart. Bye-bye.

Well, you wanna stay for dinner?

What are we eating, crow?

-Hi.
-Hi.

Can I come in?

Yes, certainly.

Mainly, I wanted to get away
from all those jokes in the lobby.

-Jokes?
-About my bathing suits...

...and the snowstorm coming in
to cool things off.

You were supposed to be
flying to Chicago?

-The planes aren't taking off.
-I know.

The hotel's full,
and I can't get a room.

Some of the gentlemen
were kind enough to offer--

Never mind. You can have this room.

I'll go to the airport
and wait for a flight.

I wouldn't feel right
putting you out of here.

Well, I wouldn't feel right staying.

Have a wonderful tour. Bye-bye.

Wait.

I wanted to get another
look at you before you go.

I like you.

Have a wonderful tour. Bye.

Goodbye.

I didn't say anything.

I didn't say you said anything.

Well, I just said
I didn't say anything.

Then may I say how happy I am
that you are not saying anything.

That's Darrin.

He couldn't get back
from Boston that fast.

He was fooling me.
Calling me from the airport.

I knew it all the time.

Hi. Telegram for Mr. Stephens.

Thank you.

-What is it?
-A telegram for Darrin from Honolulu.

-Probably from Larry.
-You'd better call him in Boston.

-Now, I don't think that's necessary.
-How do you know?

It may be urgent.
I think you'd better call him.

No, I'm sure it can wait.

Well, he'll probably want you
to open it up and read it to him.

That's what any thoughtful,
considerate, mortal wife would do.

-Go ahead. Go ahead, call him.
-No.

-Go on.
-All right.

Hello?

-Hello?
-I'm sorry, there must be some mistake.

-I wanted Mr. Stephens' room.
-This is Mr. Stephens' room.

May I speak to Mr. Stephens, please?

I'm sorry. He isn't here.

Could you tell me where
I could reach Mr. Stephens?

No, I'm sorry.
I don't know where he is now.

But if you'll only pardon me, I'm dead.

I didn't say one thing.

Mr. Ben Pepperdine,
please come to gate 34.

Hi, honey.

Would you believe it? It took until
this afternoon to get a plane out.

If you wanna ruin your back, sleep
on one of those airport benches.

They make them that way
on purpose to discourage bums.

Hi, honey.

I don't blame you for not wanting
to be kissed. I haven't shaved.

Hey, I got good news for you.

My speech got more laughs
in Boston than it did here.

All in all, I think the trip was worth it.

Watch it, honey.

I've only been
to Boston three times.

I like it more each time I go.

You and I ought
to go there sometime.

Sam, I may be mistaken...

...but I think that maybe
you're peeved about something.

Did anything happen
while I was gone?

Well, I certainly couldn't
have done anything.

Did l?

Did l? Sam, I asked you
a question. Did l?

Sam, you're going to stay
right here and talk to me.

Samantha.

Sam, where are you?

I can see you wherever you are.

-Now listen to me, Sam.
-Darrin, I'm leaving you.

-Sam.
-I'm going home to Mother.

What do you mean, going home to
Mother? Your mother's always here.

Sam. Sam, where are you?

Now put that down.

Let-- Let go.

Well, you told me to let go.

Sam, what's the matter? Did somebody
tell you something or what?

What have I done?

Sam, now cut this out.
I wanna see you immediately.

Samantha, you're my wife, and I
demand that you appear before me.

Listen to me, Sam. Don't do anything
that you may regret later on.

Where do you think you're going?

You're not leaving this house.

She couldn't.

Sam. Sam, please wait.

Please wait.

All right, go ahead.

I can't stop you, and I know it.

Even if you were a mortal,
I couldn't stop you.

But in all fairness, don't you think
I'm entitled to know why?

The very least you could do
is tell me why.

Very well.

-What are you wearing?
-My flying suit.

Mother warned me about you and
that model, but I didn't believe her.

Buffy? Me interested in Buffy?

Sam, don't make me laugh.

Don't you use that patronizing tone
with me, or I won't say another word.

Me interested in Buffy?
I couldn't see her in a million years.

She can't see me
without her glasses.

No?

Mother gave you three wishes
to prove what was on your mind.

-Well, you proved it, all right.
-What did I prove?

Your first wish was that
you didn't have to go to Honolulu...

...so you could look after
that model instead.

That wasn't a wish.
That was wished onto me by Larry.

Then you wished that you
could go to Boston with her.

Then you wished up
that freak snowstorm...

...so that you'd have an excuse
not to come home.

-That's what you think?
-That's what I know.

I called your hotel room last night.
Buffy answered the phone.

Of course. She didn't have a place
to stay, so I gave her my room...

...and I slept at the airport.

Now you know why I'm leaving.

-Goodbye.
-Oh, wait.

I think we've covered the matter.

Your mother gave me three wishes,
and I used them the way you said?

You did.

Watch this.

Three wishes, huh?

Stand back.

Wish number one.

I wish that your mother
were standing right here.

Why, Darwin, I had no idea
you were so fond of me.

You see? I wouldn't
have been able to do that...

...if I'd used those three
wishes on Buffy, would l?

You interrupted me
at a party, you silly boy.

And I was getting along so famously
with the prime minister.

-Darrin, I--
-Quiet, both of you. I haven't finished.

You gave me those three wishes
to make a fool out of me, didn't you?

I can make a fool out of myself
without any help from you.

You are so right.
Mortals have a talent for it.

But as long as I've got them,
I'm going to wish something...

...that I've been wishing
ever since I met you.

What is it?

Wish number two.

I wish that you would stay
out of our lives fore--

Darrin, no.

For...

...one week.

Wish number three.

About that flying suit. I wish--

Darrin, never mind the third wish.

It's on the house.

Sweetheart?

Darrin?

Good night, sweetheart.

-Feeling better?
-Much.

After spending last night
at an airport in a snowstorm...

...that's just what I needed,
a good hot shower.

I wish I could take another.

Darrin?

Oh, we forgot.

You had one more wish left.

Can I get you a towel?

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