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1
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:11,878
Ouch.
2
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,490
Ouch!
3
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,858
Did you say something, Sam?
4
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:18,795
Uh, no. No, I didn't.
5
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,063
But he did.
6
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:23,655
Sammy, how can you hit
a man when he's down?
7
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:26,469
Get it?
8
00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:29,395
Pillow, feathers, down?
9
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:33,309
I guess it's true.
10
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:36,735
Small things amuse small minds.
11
00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:39,616
How would you like to pick on
12
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,853
somebody your own size?
13
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:45,455
Okay, Digby. Start picking.
14
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:46,789
Uncle Arthur, please.
15
00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,925
What's it gonna be, fisticuffs?
16
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,382
Now, just...
17
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,665
Uncle Arthur, will
you cut that out?
18
00:00:55,689 --> 00:01:00,659
Oh, Sammy, I'm
just jousting with him.
19
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,709
Sam, tell him to
get me out of here.
20
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,844
If I were you, Digby,
21
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:10,546
before I got in
the office elevator,
22
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,437
I'd, uh... I'd check my lance.
23
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,440
Uncle Arthur!
24
00:01:17,478 --> 00:01:19,389
There you go.
25
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,859
Back to normal,
whatever that is.
26
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:25,394
And to think some people,
before they go to work,
27
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,530
just have coffee.
28
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:29,799
Uh, sweetheart,
i-it's after 2:00.
29
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,301
You'll be late for your meeting.
30
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,602
Oh, that's right.
31
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:36,073
What with all the fun and
games, I almost forgot.
32
00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:39,276
Uh, aren't you
gonna say goodbye?
33
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,744
Yes, I am. Goodbye.
34
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,347
And the next time
you drop in, don't.
35
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,749
Watch it, buster.
36
00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:50,175
In a war of wit, you're unarmed.
37
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:58,695
Sam, this dinner tonight
for Mr. and Mrs. Rockfield
38
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,997
is not social. It's business.
39
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,365
I know.
40
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:05,435
And Larry will be coming,
so that'll make five for dinner.
41
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,970
Not six.
42
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,605
Don't worry, sweetheart.
43
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:09,895
Hmm.
44
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:17,013
All right, Uncle
Arthur. Let's have it.
45
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,481
Have what?
46
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:19,983
An explanation.
47
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,384
Digby deserved ev...
48
00:02:21,408 --> 00:02:23,987
Ah, that is not what
I'm talking about.
49
00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:25,588
How come you're all spruced up?
50
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,390
It's the new me.
51
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:30,226
Love it or, uh, leave it.
52
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:31,427
I'm leaving it.
53
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:34,330
Uh, Sammy, it's all
part of the new me.
54
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,266
The simple, carefree,
55
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,167
fun-loving, practical-joking
56
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,403
Uncle Arthur is gone.
57
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:43,240
Y-You mean all those
stunts you pulled on Darrin
58
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:44,474
were my imagination?
59
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:47,344
Just the last of a long line
60
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:48,979
of memorable funnies.
61
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,348
My glorious transformation
62
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:54,116
can be attributed to one word:
63
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,418
Aretha.
64
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,354
Aretha?
65
00:02:57,378 --> 00:03:01,324
Aretha, my love, I
worship at your feet.
66
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:06,897
Fly to my side, and
make it tout suite.
67
00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:09,065
Arthur, darling,
68
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,368
how thoughtful of you to call.
69
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,392
Oh.
70
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,405
Mmm.
71
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:16,862
Finger-lickin' good.
72
00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:20,243
Oh... Oh, Samantha,
73
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,779
allow me to introduce Aretha,
74
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,048
the love of my life.
75
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:26,916
The witch who will soon be
76
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,885
Mrs. Uncle Arthur.
77
00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:33,223
Oh, that's marvelous.
78
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,558
Aretha, I'm so
pleased to meet you.
79
00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:37,827
Charmed, I'm sure.
80
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,917
I'm sure.
81
00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:40,389
What a quaint little place.
82
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:43,359
Absolutely charming.
83
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,161
Where's the main house?
84
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,729
This is it.
85
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,765
Where do the servants stay?
86
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,867
Well, we don't have
any servants' quarters,
87
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,769
since we don't
have any servants.
88
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,272
Oh, sounds like fun.
89
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:57,206
If my hands weren't so delicate,
90
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,698
I would consider
trying it myself.
91
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,312
Aretha, my sweetness.
92
00:05:03,336 --> 00:05:05,381
Your loveliness
is only surpassed
93
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,884
by your understanding. Oh.
94
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:11,243
That's not quite the
word I would've used.
95
00:05:13,012 --> 00:05:14,457
Sammy, I...
96
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,721
Sam, I... I think I'd like to
talk to you in the kitchen.
97
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:26,802
Uncle Arthur,
what's the matt...?
98
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,971
Sammy. For you.
99
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,739
Oh, thank you.
100
00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:32,041
They're beautiful.
101
00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:33,165
Smell them.
102
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,152
I'm sorry, Sammy.
103
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:44,453
I just couldn't control myself.
104
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:46,656
I'm having a lot
of trouble myself.
105
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,224
You don't understand.
106
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:52,095
My problem is Aretha
can't stand practical jokes.
107
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,596
They... They're
below her station.
108
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,298
Oh.
109
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,667
If she knew I were
the titan of tricks,
110
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,402
the highness of hijinks,
111
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:00,903
the prince of pranks,
112
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,540
why, she'd drop
me like a hot potato.
113
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,376
How long are you gonna
carry on this masquerade?
114
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,211
Forever, if necessary.
115
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,613
One of these days,
you'll just lose control
116
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:13,316
right in front of her.
Never. I love her.
117
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:17,308
The masquerade goes on.
118
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:24,327
Here we are, my treasure.
119
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:25,495
Miss me?
120
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:28,297
Arthur, let's talk
about our honeymoon.
121
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:31,501
I do hope we can
go to a fun place.
122
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:34,571
I've been thinking that
maybe we could go to India
123
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,105
for some elephant polo.
124
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,307
Oh, Arthur, it's so hot in India
125
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,510
this time of year,
what with all those
126
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,846
untouchables milling
about the streets.
127
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,514
Arthur, I mean...
128
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,849
I know a place where you can go.
129
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:48,718
Thanks, Sammy, but
we still haven't run out
130
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,720
of our own ideas.
131
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,423
I've got it. The perfect
place to honeymoon.
132
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:55,425
We'll have complete privacy.
133
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:58,127
We'll take a trip to the moon
134
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:01,619
on gossamer wings.
135
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:06,402
What are you doing with
those wings on your back?
136
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:10,706
W-Wings? What... What wings?
137
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,442
Arthur, I would be much happier
138
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:16,246
if you would quit
that clowning around.
139
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,514
You, uh, would?
140
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:20,783
U-Uncle Arthur.
141
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,885
I think you would be happier
142
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,210
if you'd clown
around a little more.
143
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:29,626
Arthur!
144
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:32,562
Get me out of this
ridiculous costume!
145
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,597
You... You clown!
146
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,154
It takes one to know one.
147
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:41,304
Uncle Arthur, I think
it's time you stopped...
148
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,638
clowning around.
149
00:07:42,662 --> 00:07:43,973
Clowning around.
150
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,197
Oh, Sammy, you do
have a way with words.
151
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,579
Arthur, I'm warning you.
152
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:51,547
Cut out this nonsense.
153
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:55,618
Uh, oh, all right, killjoy.
154
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,555
Arthur, you are a
silly, witless fool.
155
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:02,058
However, there
is one consolation.
156
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:05,183
I found out in time.
157
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,199
Oh, Sammy.
158
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,936
You're looking at
a broken warlock,
159
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:17,106
rejected and shattered
beyond repair.
160
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:19,475
I'd turn myself into a doormat,
161
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,578
except the way I feel,
162
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:24,814
I couldn't stand the
word "Welcome."
163
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,582
Oh.
164
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:28,584
Well, i-in a few thousand years,
165
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:30,286
you will have
forgotten all about her.
166
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,455
I know.
167
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:36,648
But what am I gonna do tonight?
168
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,163
Come on. Come
on. Give me a hand.
169
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,965
Rockfield will be
here any minute.
170
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:44,200
What's going on?
171
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,935
Just a little one-upsmanship.
172
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,638
Putting Rockfield's furniture
where it will do the most good...
173
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:49,806
Right before his eyes.
174
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,207
Where do you
want this, Mr. Tate?
175
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,164
Oh, here. I'll take
it, Betty. Thanks.
176
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,769
The right bait for
the right catch.
177
00:09:00,106 --> 00:09:01,984
Okay, Darrin, let's
hear your ideas.
178
00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:03,452
He'll be here any minute.
179
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:06,222
Okay. But I could have come
up with some angles I like better
180
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,557
if I'd had more time.
181
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,292
Let me remind you, this
is the advertising business.
182
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,751
Whatever you come
up with, you love.
183
00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:15,965
Yes?
184
00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,700
Mr. Rockfield's here.
185
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,557
Show him in.
186
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,306
Ah, ha, ha. Mr. Rockfield,
good to see you.
187
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:25,507
Come on in. Hello, Tate.
188
00:09:25,531 --> 00:09:27,576
Darrin, shake hands
with Lionel Rockfield,
189
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,545
king of home and
office furnishings.
190
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,013
This is Darrin Stephens,
191
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:33,315
the creative
mainstay of our team.
192
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:36,185
It's a pleasure to finally
meet you, Mr. Rockfield.
193
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,553
I've heard a lot about you.
194
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,921
Yes.
195
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:40,322
Would you like to sit down?
196
00:09:40,346 --> 00:09:43,359
Uh, no. I've been
sitting all day.
197
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,750
Oh, no. Here. Here, use this.
198
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:50,666
Uh, never mind. I'll use
the one here on the desk.
199
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:53,269
All right, Tate. I understand
you've got some campaign ideas
200
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,370
you want me to hear.
201
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:55,671
Absolutely. Go ahead.
202
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,373
Mr. Rockfield... I'm listening.
203
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,842
At McMann and
Tate, time is money,
204
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:02,579
both for the client
and the agency.
205
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,080
Go ahead, Darrin.
206
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,883
Well, the first idea
is a beauty contest...
207
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,185
Miss Secretary of the Year...
208
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,753
And the winner would be pictured
209
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,388
sitting in a Rockfield chair
210
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:15,090
at a Rockfield desk.
211
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,392
I don't like it.
212
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,428
It's been done a
million times. It's old hat.
213
00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,330
Right. It's off with the
old and on with the new.
214
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,632
Proceed, Darrin.
215
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:26,269
We thought of an
institutional approach.
216
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,672
Pick five colleges and
furnish the president's offices
217
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,407
with Rockfield furniture.
218
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,308
It'd be like a grant.
219
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:34,577
I don't like it.
220
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,379
It's too obvious.
And so are you, Tate.
221
00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:37,647
What?
222
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,649
Just because you put a
Rockfield chair and lamp
223
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,083
and ashtray in your office
224
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,985
doesn't mean you're
gonna land the account.
225
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,754
Well, I never
dreamed... I don't fall for
226
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,989
that kind of bait, Tate.
227
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,425
I take my business very
seriously, and if you don't,
228
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:52,428
I'll take my business
elsewhere. Oh, we do. We do.
229
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,996
And we have a lot more ideas.
230
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,465
But why don't we present
them tonight at dinner,
231
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,301
when we'll all be a
little more relaxed?
232
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,835
All right.
233
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:02,104
But you better come up with
something a more effective
234
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:03,839
than I've heard here today.
235
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:07,243
And, uh, don't count
on me being too relaxed.
236
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:10,801
I take pride in never
getting too relaxed.
237
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:15,952
You heard what he said,
238
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,020
so you better come up
with something terrific
239
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,254
or it's curtains.
240
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:22,313
And I don't mean
Rockfield curtains either.
241
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:32,835
Uncle Arthur,
242
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,605
you have been moping
around the house all day long.
243
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:39,208
Now, Darrin will be
home any minute.
244
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:42,611
So, please, try and
pull yourself together.
245
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,846
But my life has no meaning.
246
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,216
I have loved and lost.
247
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,918
Oh, my stars.
248
00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:52,988
Uncle Arthur, you
haven't lost anything.
249
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:55,424
You force me to be honest.
250
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:58,927
Aretha is a phony.
251
00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:00,496
And so are you
252
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,364
for pretending to be
something you're not.
253
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,666
What am I?
254
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:07,058
A broken-hearted clown!
255
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,041
Laugh, clown.
256
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:15,344
No one knows
your heart is broken.
257
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:17,180
♪ Even though ♪
258
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:19,482
♪ You're only Make-believing ♪
259
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,651
♪ Laugh, clown, laugh ♪
260
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:23,986
Oh, brother.
261
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,455
♪ Even though ♪
262
00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:28,458
♪ Something inside Is grieving ♪
263
00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:31,582
♪ Laugh, clown, laugh ♪
264
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,732
Sammy, I've got it.
265
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,367
You're gonna
forget about Aretha.
266
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,969
No, I'm going to win her back.
267
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,671
And the only way to do it
is to get rid of the one thing
268
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:44,907
that's standing between us.
269
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,342
My character.
270
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,444
Your character?
271
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,979
I'm going to say goodbye
272
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,180
to my practical jokes.
273
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:54,383
I will scatter
them to the winds.
274
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:56,886
How are you gonna do
that? Never mind, Sammy.
275
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,087
Go check your dinner.
276
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,712
You needn't be concerned
about me anymore.
277
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:18,707
Why scatter my practical
jokes to the winds
278
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,210
when they'd be
much more at home...
279
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,180
right here?
280
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:28,850
Practical jokes my love appalls,
281
00:13:28,874 --> 00:13:35,313
fly from my body and
lodge in these walls.
282
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,497
Au revoir, Sammy.
283
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:44,422
The joke's on you.
284
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,438
Uncle Arthur?
285
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,873
Uncle Arthur.
286
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:53,775
Uncle Arthur?
287
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:55,811
Uncle Arthur.
288
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,635
Oh.
289
00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,451
Uncle Arthur!
290
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,776
Uncle Arthur!
291
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:13,495
Oh. Oh!
292
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,254
Good grief.
293
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,103
Oh!
294
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:22,672
Uncle Arthur!
295
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,173
Knock it off!
296
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,363
Sam?
297
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:48,297
And what, may I ask, is this?
298
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,754
I think it's water.
299
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:53,202
So much for the water.
300
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,992
Now where's the scotch?
301
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,480
Sam, I'm very calm now.
302
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,849
If I were you, I'd take
advantage of this calm state
303
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:09,518
by explaining
304
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:12,854
what kind of a way is
that to greet a husband?
305
00:15:12,878 --> 00:15:14,478
Oh, dear.
306
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,127
Is that better?
307
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:19,395
It's better,
308
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,230
but it's still not
an explanation.
309
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,499
It's Uncle Arthur.
310
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,167
I know that.
311
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:27,402
But what you don't
know is that Uncle Arthur
312
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,738
is madly in love with a witch
313
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,073
who can't stand
his practical jokes.
314
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,075
The ranks are swelling.
315
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,376
And in order to win her,
316
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,879
he divorced himself
from his practical jokes.
317
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,748
Well, that's an improvement.
318
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,584
And apparently we
got custody of them.
319
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,518
That's not.
320
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:45,821
Sam, now, our guests
will be here any minute.
321
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,122
I mean... Well, you're a witch.
322
00:15:47,146 --> 00:15:48,223
Do something.
323
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,980
Well, there's nothing I can do.
324
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,598
There. Here's to tonight.
325
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,590
Let's hope it's nothing
like this afternoon.
326
00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:04,028
Brace yourself.
327
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:11,480
Oh, good evening. Please
come in. Good evening.
328
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:12,714
How do you do?
329
00:16:12,738 --> 00:16:15,617
Samantha, uh, this is
Mr. and Mrs. Rockfield.
330
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:16,618
How do you do?
331
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,887
Folks, this is Samantha,
332
00:16:17,911 --> 00:16:20,022
Darrin's lovely
and charming wife.
333
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:21,312
Oh, Larry. My goodness.
334
00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:23,826
Oh, well. How about some drinks?
335
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,994
I thought you'd never ask.
336
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,295
Good. Come right in.
337
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,785
We're so thrilled
you could come.
338
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,000
What was that?
339
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,068
Uh, uh, just a draft.
340
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,937
It's a very drafty house.
341
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,072
I-I'll call the draftsman
in the morning
342
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:39,074
and get it fixed.
343
00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:41,777
W-Why don't you call
whoever you have to call
344
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,311
right now, Sam,
345
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,713
just so it doesn't happen again?
346
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,214
G-Good idea.
347
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:47,783
You can use the
phone in the kitchen.
348
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,084
Excuse me.
349
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:50,920
Well, what are we drinking?
350
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:52,154
Well, uh...
351
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,955
Mrs. Rockfield and I
will have ginger ale.
352
00:16:53,979 --> 00:16:55,858
You sure you don't
want something stronger?
353
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,159
We're sure.
354
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,595
Too bad.
355
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,086
Come on in.
356
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:12,007
Uncle Arthur, I am
going to count to three,
357
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,942
and if you know
what's good for you,
358
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:16,211
you will gather up
all your practical jokes
359
00:17:16,235 --> 00:17:18,580
and absorb them.
360
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:21,505
One, two, three.
361
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:26,043
Four?
362
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:29,246
Five?
363
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:36,298
And here we are with the drinks.
364
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:37,365
Oh.
365
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:39,635
The ginger ale
for the Rockfields,
366
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,826
and the scotch for Larry.
367
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,181
Stephens, I... I
don't seem to be able
368
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,682
to raise my glass.
369
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,917
Neither can I. Neither can I.
370
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:57,686
You can't, huh?
371
00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:00,289
Probably the furniture polish
372
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,657
hasn't dried on the table yet.
373
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:03,759
I'll have them
pried off tomorrow.
374
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:04,827
No problem.
375
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,583
I'll make new drinks.
376
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,495
Hmm. Certainly
getting hot in here.
377
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,200
Darrin, we're
waiting for our drinks.
378
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,749
Didn't you have
a drink for lunch?
379
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,085
What's the matter with you?
380
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:30,519
Me? Nothing.
381
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,721
Nothing. I'm fine.
382
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,790
Uh, say, have you ever seen
383
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:35,924
the handkerchief trick?
384
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,148
It's... It's really,
uh, very amusing.
385
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,097
Darrin, forget the trick.
386
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,132
Let's talk about the campaign.
387
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,901
What have you come
up with for Mr. Rockfield?
388
00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:47,402
Uh, yeah, the campaign.
389
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:48,871
Oh, of course.
390
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:51,206
Uh, well. Uh...
391
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:53,664
Well, let's hope it
has plenty of punch.
392
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,952
Uh, I'll go get a cold compress.
393
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,175
I'll be right back.
394
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,459
Uncle Arthur, I'm
gonna start over again,
395
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,727
and if you're not here by
the time I count to three,
396
00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:13,895
you've had it.
397
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,198
And so have we.
Sam, what's happened?
398
00:19:16,222 --> 00:19:17,666
Well, apparently Uncle Arthur's
399
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,800
made up with Aretha,
400
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,270
and has given us
back his practical jokes.
401
00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,471
What's that for?
402
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,363
For me first, and
then for Larry.
403
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:32,447
One, two, three.
404
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:33,615
Mr. Tate. Here.
405
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:35,317
This should do the trick.
406
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:36,885
Are you all right, Tate?
407
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,776
He never could take a punch.
408
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:42,758
Where am I?
409
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,626
Well, if I didn't know better,
410
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:47,362
I'd think you were
in a loony bin.
411
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:49,765
Ah, yes, this certainly promises
412
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:51,633
to be an interesting evening.
413
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,591
More fun than a
barrel of monkeys.
414
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,028
Cute little fellas, aren't they?
415
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:21,130
Stephens, where'd
these animals come from?
416
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:22,431
Yeah, where'd they come from?
417
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:23,532
Well, actually...
418
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,167
Never mind. Just
get rid of them.
419
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:28,637
Oh, they're cute, Lionel.
Where's your sense of humor?
420
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,640
I don't see anything funny
about a room full of anthropoids.
421
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,675
Uncle Arthur, you cut
out the monkeyshines
422
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:35,310
and undo your spell.
423
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:38,213
Heigh-ho, Samantha, my sweet.
424
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,649
Don't "heigh-ho" me.
425
00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:43,274
You and your practical
jokes are destroying us.
426
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:50,125
Oh, cute little
fellas, aren't they?
427
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,860
Not to me, they're not.
428
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:54,096
They are ugly little beasts,
429
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,899
no cuter than your
practical jokes.
430
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:59,401
Arthur, we are
finished for all time.
431
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:01,370
And if I never see you again,
432
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,872
it will be too soon.
433
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:06,308
Goodbye.
434
00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:07,609
You're right.
435
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,411
She's a phony.
436
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:13,470
Stacked, but a phony.
437
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:16,385
I demand an explanation.
438
00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:17,886
And it better be a good one.
439
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:20,389
Good? It's gonna
have to be great.
440
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:21,590
And you're going to get it.
441
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:22,657
In just a minute.
442
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:24,126
A-And get rid of these monkeys.
443
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:26,795
Oh, sure thing.
444
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,830
Uncle Arthur, I beg of you.
445
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:30,465
Please undo your spell.
446
00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:32,233
Why not?
447
00:21:32,257 --> 00:21:34,470
I've lost my love again.
448
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:36,705
That's not all
you're gonna lose.
449
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,407
Shh!
450
00:21:38,431 --> 00:21:40,576
Uh, Mr. Rockfield,
I'm sure Stephens
451
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,877
has an explanation.
452
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:44,847
Practical jokes,
return to the roost,
453
00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:49,251
and give Uncle Arthur
a great big boost.
454
00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:51,808
And as soon as he gets
back, he'll get rid of the...
455
00:21:57,449 --> 00:21:59,761
Where'd they go?
456
00:21:59,785 --> 00:22:03,120
Okay, Sammy? Ciao.
457
00:22:04,456 --> 00:22:06,857
It's time to face the music.
458
00:22:11,531 --> 00:22:13,409
Well, you asked me to
get rid of the monkeys,
459
00:22:13,433 --> 00:22:14,976
so I got rid of them.
460
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,879
Oh. Oh.
461
00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:19,114
You promised an explanation,
462
00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,517
a good one... A very good one.
463
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:23,418
Well, go... Go
ahead, sweetheart.
464
00:22:23,442 --> 00:22:24,620
Tell 'em about your plan.
465
00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:26,855
Don't be modest. Plan?
466
00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:28,123
Well, you know.
467
00:22:28,147 --> 00:22:30,392
The... The plan to show
that you can enjoy your home
468
00:22:30,416 --> 00:22:32,895
without making it a
Coney Island fun house.
469
00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:34,362
Oh, of course.
470
00:22:34,386 --> 00:22:35,597
That plan.
471
00:22:35,621 --> 00:22:37,666
Darrin always says
472
00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,701
that a home can be
fun without air blasts
473
00:22:39,725 --> 00:22:43,105
or sticking glasses
or barrels of monkeys.
474
00:22:43,129 --> 00:22:44,728
Or even a boxing glove.
475
00:22:46,165 --> 00:22:49,644
Maybe later I'll explain
how much fun that was.
476
00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:51,446
I hope there's more.
477
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,781
Of course.
478
00:22:53,805 --> 00:22:56,184
We show the Coney
Island fun house,
479
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,286
and next to that
a home furnished
480
00:22:58,310 --> 00:23:00,355
with Rockfield furnishings.
481
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,290
And the slogan might be, uh,
482
00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,958
"Put some fun in your home
483
00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:05,660
with Rockfield furnishings."
484
00:23:05,684 --> 00:23:06,995
That's your explanation
485
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:08,697
for everything that
happened tonight?
486
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:10,332
Uh-huh.
487
00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:12,233
I like it. I like the approach,
488
00:23:12,257 --> 00:23:14,235
and I like the slogan.
I knew you would.
489
00:23:14,259 --> 00:23:16,838
I'm crazy about it myself.
490
00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:20,909
Well, you must admit,
it does have punch.
491
00:23:20,933 --> 00:23:22,344
It's different.
492
00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:24,179
But you certainly
went to a lot of trouble
493
00:23:24,203 --> 00:23:26,348
to make your point.
494
00:23:26,372 --> 00:23:28,617
Well, would this moment
have been as meaningful
495
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:31,641
if Darrin had just
said "fun house"?
496
00:23:32,778 --> 00:23:34,189
No, it wouldn't.
497
00:23:34,213 --> 00:23:37,092
Mrs. Stephens, your
husband's got quite a head
498
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:38,148
on his shoulders.
499
00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,418
I certainly have.
500
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,405
Sam, this is one
evening I'll never forget,
501
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,906
even if I tried.
502
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,675
And I plan to
do a lot of trying.
503
00:23:53,699 --> 00:23:55,310
Well, I'm very proud of you.
504
00:23:55,334 --> 00:23:57,512
You were in control all the way.
505
00:23:57,536 --> 00:23:59,948
Control? I was in shock.
506
00:23:59,972 --> 00:24:02,384
Well, sweetheart, the
house is back to normal.
507
00:24:02,408 --> 00:24:04,085
Yeah? For how long?
508
00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:06,921
Your lovesick,
joke-sick Uncle Arthur
509
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:08,923
just might... Shh!
510
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:10,592
He's liable to hear you.
511
00:24:10,616 --> 00:24:12,494
I heard that.
512
00:24:12,518 --> 00:24:14,295
He heard you.
513
00:24:14,319 --> 00:24:16,798
Uncle Arthur, go away.
514
00:24:16,822 --> 00:24:19,401
Ouch!
515
00:24:19,425 --> 00:24:23,105
Sammy, you know if
there's one thing I can't stand,
516
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,207
it's having my ear tweaked.
517
00:24:25,231 --> 00:24:28,443
How about boxed?
518
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:30,834
Now, there's an idea.
519
00:24:40,345 --> 00:24:42,079
Woo-hoo!
35010
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