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1
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,684
Good afternoon, Mrs. Stephens?
2
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:08,685
Yes?
3
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,053
I'm Dr. Passmore.
4
00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:11,455
Is Mr. Stephens in?
5
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,590
No, I'm sorry he isn't,
but I expect him soon.
6
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:14,691
Won't you come in, doctor?
7
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:15,715
Well, thank you.
8
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,163
Oh, uh, just by
way of introduction,
9
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:23,467
I am chief psychiatrist at
Meadowbrook Rest Home.
10
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,102
Our guests are aware of the fact
11
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:26,769
that this is the
centennial of the year
12
00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,872
which marked the end of
the War Between the States
13
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:31,475
and, uh, they'd like to
do something about it.
14
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:32,675
Aren't they a bit late?
15
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:37,881
Mrs. Stephens, they would
like to commemorate the event.
16
00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,149
Yes, of course.
17
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:41,784
Uh, well, uh, what's
this got to do with Darrin?
18
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:43,987
Well, it's necessary for
us to inform the public
19
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:45,055
of our undertaking.
20
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,589
That means advertising.
21
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,992
And I understand your
husband excels in that field.
22
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:50,427
Oh, he does!
23
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,795
And it sounds like
a wonderful idea.
24
00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:54,197
I'm sure I can vouch for Darrin.
25
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:56,266
I'm certain he'll be
happy to do your publicity.
26
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,367
Oh, really?
27
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,968
Then I may depend upon it?
28
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:00,404
For such a worthy cause?
29
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,527
I give you my word.
30
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:05,075
You gave him your word?!
31
00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:08,011
Honey, I'm right in the middle
of planning the Jarvis account,
32
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:10,047
I'm drawing the Slater
TV Commercials,
33
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:11,448
and I'm racing the time clock
34
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,517
planning that Murphy's
Supermarket opening,
35
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:14,851
and you gave him your word!
36
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,186
Darrin, please...
37
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:17,587
Well, then I'll
give you my word.
38
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:18,888
In a word, no!
39
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:19,989
I thought you wanted me
40
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,691
to be interested in
these civic things.
41
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,126
I do.
42
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:25,628
So, what are you doing
for this noble project?
43
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:28,465
Sam, I couldn't do
it even if I wanted to.
44
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,989
My knowledge of the Civil
War is slightly less than limited.
45
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,825
I could help. Mine's perfect.
46
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,363
Hello?
47
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:41,633
Oh, hello, uh, Dr. Passmore.
48
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,636
Well, I'm... happy to do it.
49
00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:50,553
Oh... Oh, well, uh, could
I make a suggestion?
50
00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:52,877
I think my wife
would be perfect for it.
51
00:01:54,081 --> 00:01:55,613
Oh, yes, an expert.
52
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,950
She'll do it.
53
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,518
I give you my word.
54
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:02,687
Bye.
55
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,135
Do what?
56
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:06,269
Write the pageant.
57
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,704
Write the...?
58
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:08,728
Me?!
59
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,028
Hello, Mother.
60
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:07,786
It's a wise child who
knows her own mother.
61
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:13,870
Darling, I thought we could
spend some time with each other.
62
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,572
Nope. Can't.
63
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,173
I'm writing a play.
64
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,375
Just started four hours ago.
65
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:21,244
Oh, really?
66
00:03:21,268 --> 00:03:22,412
What's it about?
67
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:25,048
The American Civil War.
68
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:26,182
Ohhh.
69
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,519
Well, the simple stories
are always the best.
70
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,655
Oh, I wish Darrin hadn't
given my word I'd do this.
71
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,690
Well, maybe I could
be of some help.
72
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:35,691
How?
73
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,393
Well, I could be your secretary.
74
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,562
I can type faster than anybody.
75
00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:42,254
Watch this...
76
00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:52,663
"The quick brown fox
jumped over the lazy mrpldrk?"
77
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,614
Oh.
78
00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:00,750
Well, I said I was
fast, not accurate.
79
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,919
Thank you, Mother, but
I'm afraid this is one thing
80
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,287
I'm gonna have to do for myself.
81
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:07,123
All right, all right,
darling. Be independent.
82
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,314
Just do it the hard way.
83
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,684
Hope you like my
script for the pageant.
84
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:25,530
Well, I'll, uh, go change,
and then I'll fix dinner.
85
00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,202
It's still very rough.
86
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:32,716
Mm-hmm.
87
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,718
Don't expect too much.
88
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:35,852
What?
89
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,036
Oh, okay, honey, a
sandwich would be fine.
90
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,104
Well?
91
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,872
Well, whatever it is
you've been cooking
92
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,908
certainly smells
good, sweetheart.
93
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,910
We're having cold cuts.
94
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,245
Oh.
95
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,080
That bad, huh?
96
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,816
Oh, it's not bad
for a first try.
97
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,118
Worth a second?
98
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,355
Go on, Darrin,
you can be honest.
99
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:14,690
Well, darling, to tell the
truth, it's the characters.
100
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:18,561
They're... kind of
stereotyped, one dimensional.
101
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,129
You've got to flesh them out.
102
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,298
Think of them as real people.
103
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,201
Well, I've learned something
very important tonight.
104
00:05:25,225 --> 00:05:26,402
What's that?
105
00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:28,793
Never let your husband
criticize on an empty stomach!
106
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,400
Oh, my stars!
107
00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,987
Now, don't tell me you
haven't finished, Samantha.
108
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:44,988
Oh.
109
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,489
I had the wrong slant, Mother.
110
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,024
I'm starting again.
111
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:51,260
Well, do you realize the
war might take longer to write
112
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,197
than it did to fight?
113
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:57,500
My problem, according to
Darrin, the critic, is my characters...
114
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,203
He thinks... He thinks I
should flesh them out more.
115
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:02,271
Well, I think that's
an excellent idea.
116
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:05,108
Place them in front of you,
so you can see them better.
117
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,843
And then you'll be
able to write them better.
118
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,145
You might have a point.
119
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,347
Well, I'll leave you with it.
120
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:16,774
Just bear in mind, darling:
Write mortal, think witch.
121
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,449
Uh-huh... Let's see...
122
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:35,038
Captain Corcoran... my hero...
123
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,373
My hero, hmm.
124
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,843
If you're so great, how come
you're so one-dimensional?
125
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,200
It would help to see you better.
126
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,337
Captain Corcoran...
127
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:48,907
Tall...
128
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:51,710
handsome...
129
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:53,845
courageous...
130
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:56,481
intelligent!
131
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:07,736
Oh... my!
132
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,971
Not bad!
133
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,074
Not bad at all!
134
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:15,010
Oh, yes, Captain Corcoran,
I think you'll do very nicely.
135
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,280
My, what a beautiful horse.
136
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:20,216
But that beard will have to go.
137
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,773
Never!
138
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,587
I beg your pardon?
139
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:29,024
A Confederate officer
without his beard?
140
00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:30,960
Why, I'd die of shame, ma'am.
141
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:33,696
I would. I'd just die of shame.
142
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,665
Now, listen here, if it weren't
for my vivid imagination,
143
00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,367
you wouldn't be
here in the first place,
144
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:39,768
beard or no beard!
145
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:41,437
So, what I say goes.
146
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,805
But, I tell you, ma'am,
147
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:45,975
if I have to face the
enemy clean-shaven,
148
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:49,078
why, I'd rather lose the war!
149
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,413
You're Southern!
150
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:51,547
You did lose!
151
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:54,883
Don't dampen my spirits, ma'am.
152
00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:56,207
I don't know that yet.
153
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,664
Aah!
154
00:08:08,688 --> 00:08:11,734
'Scuse me, ma'am, this
is the way it should go.
155
00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,702
Yee-ah-ha-ha-ha-hoo!
156
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:16,805
Charge!
157
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,107
No.
158
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,331
I think you were
better off in my mind.
159
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,293
Yeah. All right.
160
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,250
Now, let's see
how you turned out.
161
00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:45,368
Hey, not bad, you know?
162
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,069
Nice headband.
163
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,937
Hey, you've got
pretty good taste.
164
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:51,774
I think you've
done a first-rate job.
165
00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:54,277
Well, there's only
one small comment.
166
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,678
Well, what's that?
167
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,047
Well, what's an Indian doing
in the American Civil War?
168
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:01,350
Well, I wanted somebody
without any political allegiance
169
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,385
to either side.
170
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,253
Sort of a chorus.
171
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,488
Now, may I ask you a question?
172
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,789
Mm-hmm?
173
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,591
Why don't you
talk like an Indian?
174
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,426
Well, why don't
you think like one?
175
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,896
Because I don't
have a cliché mind.
176
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,564
Well, that's fine with me.
177
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,799
I mean, I hate
to say lines like,
178
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,402
"White man speak
with forked tongue."
179
00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:21,037
Let me worry about that, please.
180
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,740
Well, no, I mean, I was
just mentioning it, you know?
181
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:24,963
"Ugh" is out too.
182
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,811
I'd like to see how
my two characters
183
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,134
measure up to each other.
184
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:34,951
Miss Samantha, ma'am,
185
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:36,619
uh, would it be
impertinent of me
186
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,855
to suggest a bit
of love-interest?
187
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,089
Good man!
188
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:41,393
I meant for me.
189
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:43,693
You're absolutely right.
190
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:47,430
What you need is a lovely,
young girl from Pennsylvania.
191
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,566
A Northern girl?!
192
00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:50,733
Yes, that's right.
193
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,301
But you love each other,
194
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,270
even though her
sympathies are with the North.
195
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,904
Hey, that's a
pretty good conflict.
196
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,362
Oh, thank you.
197
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,410
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.
198
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,745
Don't leave me, Johnny!
199
00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,448
Oh, no, sugar!
200
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,249
All right, all right,
let's not overdo it!
201
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,720
Ooh! You'd better go.
202
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,990
Oh, we just gettin'
started, ma'am!
203
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:16,180
Well, I can't let
people see you here.
204
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,033
Oh, hi, Mrs. Kravitz!
205
00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:26,201
Hello, Mrs. Stephens.
206
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:28,704
I don't want to bother
you if you have company.
207
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:29,805
No, no, I'm alone.
208
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:30,806
You're alone?
209
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,975
Oh, you are?
210
00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,311
Well, I... I see you are.
211
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,612
Well, I won't keep you.
212
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,149
I just came to borrow a
cup of horse... Oh, sugar.
213
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,717
Well, I'd be happy
to get it for you.
214
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:42,718
Thank you.
215
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:43,852
Won't you come in?
216
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:45,677
Uh, no, no, I'll stay
right here, thank you.
217
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,565
Oh!
218
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,701
Mrs. Stephens
said she was alone!
219
00:10:58,725 --> 00:10:59,935
She is.
220
00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:02,037
Well... what about
the two of you?
221
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,138
Oh, we're not real.
222
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:05,207
We're just something
she dreamed up.
223
00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:06,909
Oh, that's crazy!
224
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:07,910
Isn't it though?
225
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:09,111
We're right out of her mind.
226
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,135
C'mon.
227
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,616
Abner!
228
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,351
Abner! Help!
229
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,488
Help! Help!
230
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,989
Abner!
231
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,024
Abner!
232
00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:23,781
Aaaaaaah!
233
00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:26,329
What are you doing here?
234
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,430
Well, how should I know?
235
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:29,965
You thought about
us, and here we are.
236
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:32,201
You mean all I had to
do was think about you?
237
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,303
Samantha?
238
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:35,705
Oops, there's Darrin.
239
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:36,706
Now, you better leave.
240
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,173
Well, can't we meet him?
241
00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:39,542
No.
242
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,276
He isn't used to
this sort of thing.
243
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:44,179
At least give me a
chance to explain.
244
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,203
Okay.
245
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:48,150
How do I get rid of you?
246
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:50,040
Try making your mind a blank.
247
00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:55,991
Good.
248
00:11:56,015 --> 00:11:58,260
What's Mrs. Kravitz
so hysterical about?
249
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,663
Well, you know Mrs. Kravitz.
250
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:01,687
Yeah.
251
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,160
Who are they?
252
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,409
Who are who?
253
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:16,079
I see an Indian, a
girl in a long dress,
254
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:18,047
and a Confederate officer...
255
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,348
with his horse.
256
00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:22,551
You see an Indian,
a girl in a long dress,
257
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,520
and a Confederate
officer with his horse!
258
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,322
Sam!
259
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,490
Well, now, Darrin,
please try not to be angry.
260
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:30,226
I-I know it's gonna
be kind of difficult
261
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,594
for you to understand at first.
262
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,462
You see they're, uh...
263
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,664
They're figments
of my imagination.
264
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:36,665
Imagination?
265
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,355
Characters in my play.
266
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:40,636
That's ridiculous!
267
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,304
Uh, look you people,
would you mind
268
00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:43,972
just going back
into her, uh, mind
269
00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:45,941
or wherever you came from?
270
00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:48,285
Darrin, please don't be upset.
271
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:52,671
Well, I...
272
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:57,453
What happened?
273
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,055
I kissed you, I guess.
274
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:00,156
I know you kissed me,
275
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,291
but what has that got
to do with anything?
276
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:06,028
Well, when I kiss you I can't
think about anything else
277
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,564
and when I stop
thinking, they disappear.
278
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:09,932
Now you kiss me.
279
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,234
Why, are they back?
280
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,539
No, just for the heck of it.
281
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:19,264
And don't worry, darling,
I can control them.
282
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,754
Hey, author.
283
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:32,755
Hmm? Sam!
284
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:33,890
Oh. Yeah?
285
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,159
Hey, we got a great
idea for the second act.
286
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,261
Now, I'm guiding Violet
through the battlefield
287
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,263
to see her lover... Huh.
288
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:41,297
You listening? Yeah.
289
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,923
There's a blinding
rainstorm... Sam!
290
00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:49,705
Now, look, all you
characters are gonna have to...
291
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:50,840
Where's your horse?
292
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,096
Sam!
293
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,011
Okay.
294
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,846
We're forced to take cover.
295
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,948
Now, when Violet
doesn't show up,
296
00:13:58,972 --> 00:13:59,949
I think that she...
297
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,350
All right, all right! Cut, cut!
298
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:02,785
I've had it with you characters!
299
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,152
That Violet has been killed!
300
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,621
Will you stop thinking?
301
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:07,490
I'm trying to, but they
seem to have taken on
302
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,791
lives of their own.
303
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:11,259
Corcoran now decides
that life isn't worth living.
304
00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,260
Aww.
305
00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:15,831
Look, would you...?
306
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,890
Hey, that's not bad!
307
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:21,837
Now, get this.
308
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,272
This could be the
big scene in the play.
309
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:26,475
The captain, he
gets on his horse,
310
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:29,211
and he rides into
the blazing battlefield,
311
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:33,938
where a band of desperados...
312
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,591
Sam, I can't understand
why you don't do something.
313
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:43,859
You're a witch!
314
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,095
With a perfectly
normal subconscious.
315
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,396
And nobody can control
their subconscious.
316
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:50,265
Besides that, since
I've started writing,
317
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:51,967
I have an over-stimulated
imagination!
318
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:53,636
Well, then, forget
the whole project!
319
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,638
Tell Passmore to
get somebody else!
320
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:57,806
Well, I can't go
back on my promise!
321
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:59,341
Honey, he'll understand.
322
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:00,542
He's a psychiatrist!
323
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,445
His life is filled with
broken promises!
324
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:05,848
Darrin... Besides, I
see them everywhere!
325
00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:06,949
They're in the bathroom!
326
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:07,950
They're in the closets!
327
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:09,317
I even saw them in...!
328
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:10,318
Excuse me.
329
00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:12,254
I even...!
330
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,657
Why am I even
being polite to him?
331
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:18,594
What's the matter, you
don't like minority groups?
332
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,696
Out of her mind!
333
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,798
Gladys, you've talked
half the night about that.
334
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,600
Now, if I hear it
one more time...
335
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:28,671
The Indian came right out of
her mind and vanished into thin air!
336
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,039
Okay, Gladys, I've had enough!
337
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,707
You're gonna see a psychiatrist!
338
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:38,080
Hello?
339
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,782
Oh, hi, honey!
340
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,016
Hi, sweetheart!
341
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,384
I just finished the last poster.
342
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:44,519
I'm gonna drop them off
at Dr. Passmore's office.
343
00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:47,456
Why don't you meet me there?
We'll have lunch afterwards.
344
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,424
Give your mind a rest.
345
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,459
Okay?
346
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:52,628
I think it's very okay.
347
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:53,729
I'll meet you there.
348
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:54,753
Bye-bye.
349
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:57,556
Hmm.
350
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:02,604
The mind is a
very puzzling thing.
351
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:07,443
You see, these characters
just appear very real to you.
352
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,445
That's because you
haven't seen them.
353
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,380
Now, the Indian is
dressed in doeskin
354
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:12,781
and is wearing a feather.
355
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,984
And the soldier has
on a gray uniform,
356
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,986
like they used to wear
during the Civil War.
357
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,888
And the girl has on a long gown.
358
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,758
Mrs. Kravitz, I assure
you, they're all in your mind!
359
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:26,429
No! I told you,
they're all in her mind!
360
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,664
And then they
vanished into thin air!
361
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,867
Now then, I want
you to repeat after me.
362
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,770
"It's all in my mind."
363
00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,973
It's all in my mind.
364
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,841
"It's all in my mind."
365
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:40,876
It's all in my mind.
366
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,212
"It's all in my mind."
367
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:46,015
It's all in my mind.
368
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,683
Yeah, that's better.
369
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:50,519
Now, I want you to believe that.
370
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,422
Do you? No. Yes!
371
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,446
Splendid!
372
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,249
Very well.
373
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,063
I want you to take
three of these every day
374
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,167
for the next week.
375
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,726
And, Mrs. Kravitz, get out more.
376
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,402
Get a hobby.
377
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:12,663
Join things.
378
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,737
Darrin Stephens to
see Dr. Passmore.
379
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:24,887
It's all in the mind...
Hi, Mrs. Kravitz!
380
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:25,888
You too?
381
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,223
What?
382
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,357
Save your money.
383
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,858
It's all hallucinations.
384
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,395
Get yourself a
hobby, join things.
385
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:34,363
It's all in the mind.
386
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,921
I'm gonna be all right.
387
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,908
Oh, good to see
you, Mr. Stephens.
388
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:46,942
And Mrs. Stephens.
389
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:47,943
Doctor.
390
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:51,380
Come right in,
please. Come right in.
391
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,882
You, uh... You're ready to
show me the posters I see.
392
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,651
Yes, right here.
393
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,053
Here's the first one.
394
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,088
I used this one to
point up the importance
395
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:00,723
of commemorating the event.
396
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,825
Very good!
397
00:18:02,849 --> 00:18:04,681
Very good indeed!
398
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:09,231
Beautiful, Mr. Stephens!
399
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,222
Perfectly, perfectly beautiful!
400
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:16,638
Oh, you are an artist indeed!
401
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:20,364
You know, I must say
you've captured the...
402
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:26,381
Mr. Stephens...?
403
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:28,217
You do that often?
404
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:30,919
He's crazy about me!
405
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,154
Uh, yes.
406
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,756
I read, when your
wife is expecting,
407
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,024
you should show her
lots of love and affection.
408
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:37,525
Ah-ha.
409
00:18:37,549 --> 00:18:41,130
Well, there's a time and a place
for everything, Mr. Stephens.
410
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,065
Uh, could I see the
next poster, please?
411
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:44,089
Oh, certainly.
412
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:50,153
I used very striking
colors in this one.
413
00:18:56,069 --> 00:18:58,047
Uh, I wanted to illustrate
here the importance
414
00:18:58,071 --> 00:19:00,471
of being involved in such...
415
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:01,773
Sam!
416
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,155
Uh, who are they?
417
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,889
Who are who?
418
00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:11,627
Well, I-I see an Indian...
419
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,962
a girl in a long dress...
420
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,098
and a Confederate officer...
421
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,299
with his horse!
422
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,567
You see an Indian,
a girl in a long dress,
423
00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:22,404
and a Confederate
officer with his horse?
424
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:23,772
How about that?
425
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:27,242
Well, uh, thank
you, Mr. Stephens.
426
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,243
Good to see you.
427
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:29,812
Thanks for stopping by.
428
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,880
Well, good to see you, doctor.
429
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,615
Sam?
430
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:35,119
Sam! Wha...?
431
00:19:59,265 --> 00:20:00,731
It's all in my mind.
432
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,735
It's all in my mind.
433
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,372
It's all in my mind.
434
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,058
I don't know how I ever
managed to live through that.
435
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:17,082
I'm only human.
436
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:20,878
Well, you know what I mean.
437
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:25,800
Well, I hope
you're all satisfied!
438
00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:28,037
If you had one shred of
decency, you'd go back
439
00:20:28,061 --> 00:20:30,906
where you came from and
never darken my mind again!
440
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:32,140
Leave?
441
00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:34,142
Well, what do you think
we've been trying to do?
442
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,544
I'd love to go, ma'am.
443
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:37,946
Uh, you're not a bad writer,
444
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,915
but you're no Lillian Hellman!
445
00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,383
Trouble is, we've
no place to go.
446
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,384
We don't have a home.
447
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,186
Home?
448
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,520
A plot.
449
00:20:45,544 --> 00:20:48,590
Now, how can we settle down
in a play unless we have a plot?
450
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:50,926
We've been trying to tell
you how to finish this thing,
451
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,627
but you haven't
been paying attention.
452
00:20:52,651 --> 00:20:54,396
Now, sit down.
453
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:56,731
Now, that we're solid
three-dimensional characters,
454
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,767
we'll help you finish the play.
455
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:01,069
Now, take this down.
456
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,938
This is what happens...
457
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,839
I say to the captain,
458
00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:06,975
"Captain, the war is over!
459
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,676
The South has capitulated!"
460
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:13,681
"Then it's the
end of everything!"
461
00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:14,745
Bang!
462
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,790
I rush in, I see them.
463
00:21:21,814 --> 00:21:25,360
"Ah, you killed the captain!
464
00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:26,361
You killed him!"
465
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:27,362
"No, I...!"
466
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:28,546
Bang!
467
00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:30,765
"He was my friend!
468
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,701
"He did it himself!
469
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:36,538
"It was the only way
that he could die with...
470
00:21:36,562 --> 00:21:37,562
honor."
471
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:49,318
"I hereby swear that I
will dedicate my entire life
472
00:21:49,342 --> 00:21:53,355
"to seeing that these fine
men did not die in vain!
473
00:21:53,379 --> 00:21:57,392
"Out of this black day, a
mighty nation will grow!
474
00:21:57,416 --> 00:21:59,336
Something good
will come of this!"
475
00:22:01,187 --> 00:22:04,333
The orchestra hits
"Glory, Glory, Hallelujah,"
476
00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:06,901
and as the music
swells to a crescendo,
477
00:22:06,925 --> 00:22:09,226
the curtain slowly falls.
478
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:11,828
The end!
479
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,316
It worked!
480
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,085
Oh, Darrin, it worked!
481
00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:25,720
They've found a home!
482
00:22:25,744 --> 00:22:28,723
My heart-felt congratulations.
483
00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:30,792
Don't I deserve a kiss for that?
484
00:22:30,816 --> 00:22:32,861
Well, I don't know.
485
00:22:32,885 --> 00:22:34,396
What do you mean?
486
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:37,499
Well, there doesn't seem to
be much point in kissing now.
487
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:38,523
Darrin!
488
00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:51,913
That was quite an experience.
489
00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:55,083
The sets and costumes
were lovely, but...
490
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,018
ugh, those actors!
491
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,720
Well, the actors
never quite live up
492
00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:00,544
to the conception
of the characters.
493
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:03,425
Hey, by the way,
I saw you talking
494
00:23:03,449 --> 00:23:04,593
to a lady after the show.
495
00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:06,395
Uh, it seemed like
quite a big conference.
496
00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:07,529
What was it all about?
497
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,231
Would you like some
coffee, sweetheart?
498
00:23:09,255 --> 00:23:10,566
What was it about, honey?
499
00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:12,100
Milk, tea, hot cocoa?
500
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:13,168
I'm not thirsty!
501
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:14,570
You didn't answer the question.
502
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:16,104
Who was the lady?
503
00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:19,040
Oh, just a lady from
the Ladies' League.
504
00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:20,442
I'm listening.
505
00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:21,943
Oh, well they...
They want to put on
506
00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:23,745
sort of a vaudeville
show, you know?
507
00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:25,647
Song and dance acts, and...
508
00:23:25,671 --> 00:23:27,271
Sam, you didn't?
509
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:35,757
Hello.
510
00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:37,792
I hope I'm not
disturbing anything.
511
00:23:37,816 --> 00:23:39,794
Oh, no. We're all alone.
512
00:23:39,818 --> 00:23:41,296
Oh, good.
513
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,098
I just wanted to
tell Mrs. Stephens
514
00:23:43,122 --> 00:23:44,632
how much I enjoyed...
515
00:23:44,656 --> 00:23:46,601
♪ I wanna hear it again ♪
516
00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:48,592
♪ I wanna hear it again ♪
517
00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:52,908
♪ "The Old Piano Roll Blues" ♪
518
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:55,377
♪ I wanna hear it again ♪
519
00:23:55,401 --> 00:23:56,681
♪ I wanna hear it again ♪
520
00:23:57,570 --> 00:24:00,871
♪ "The Old Piano Roll Blues" ♪
521
00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:02,551
Sam!
522
00:24:02,575 --> 00:24:03,575
Yes, dear?
523
00:24:15,855 --> 00:24:17,733
Now, how will I
ever be sure that
524
00:24:17,757 --> 00:24:19,557
that will never happen again?
525
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,739
Well, I guess you'll
just have to give me
526
00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:26,074
lots of love and affection.
527
00:24:26,098 --> 00:24:28,410
Then I can promise
they won't be back.
528
00:24:28,434 --> 00:24:30,178
That's blackmail!
529
00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:31,802
Yes, I know.
35659
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