All language subtitles for 04 - Sams Hot Bed Warmer

Uh, there's witches
up there. See?

See? See?
Heh-heh.

They changed the witch sign

from an old hag witch
to a pretty young witch.

And the cops are
going up there right now,

and they're gonna get 'em
for taking the bedwarmer.

Sam, I don't wanna spend
the first day

of what I laughingly call
a vacation, in jail.

But, sweetheart,
it isn't my fault

that the bedwarmer
followed me back

from the House of Seven Gables.

Sam, we're harboring
a hot bedwarmer.

Now, will you please zap it back
to where it belongs.

Darrin, this is a warlock
who has been transformed.

Now, don't you think I have

a moral obligation to help him?

I think you have
a moral obligation

to see that we stay out of jail.

Ow!

Sam, if you don't
get rid of that, I will.

With an axe.

- Who is it?
- Open up. Police.

Sam, honey, quick.
Zap it out of here.

What's the matter?

He doesn't wanna go.

Well, this is no time
to give him a choice.

Darrin, there is
a warlock in there.

Now, if he refuses to leave,
my witchcraft won't work.

You witches have
the dumbest rules.

And at the dumbest times.

Open up in there.

I'd better hide it.

Boy, are you stubborn.

Coming.

Oh. Hello,
Miss Ferndale.

We'd like to talk
to you about something.

You mind if we come in?

Uh, not at all.

- Is that him?
- Yes. And that's her.

And if you don't mind,
I'm going to

look for my bedwarmer.

Oh, Miss Ferndale.

We just brought you up here

to make the identification.

The rest is up to us.

Oh. Very well.

I'll never understand

how you thought you could
get away with it.

With what?

Officer, please call me

as soon as you recover
the bedwarmer.

I certainly will.

You were both at the House
of the Seven Gables today?

Uh, that's right.

Have either one of you

any knowledge of a bedwarmer?

I... I do.

Uh, first, you put
the hot coals inside,

a-and then you pass it between

the cold sheets to warm them.

I don't think you understand.

This valuable antique
was missing

from the House of
the Seven Gables today,

right after you people left.

W... Now, wait a minute.

Uh, you're not implying
that we stole it?

Oh, uh, of course not,
sweetheart.

The officers are just
doing their duty.

When they find out they have

the wrong party,
I'm sure they'll apo...

Logize.

Wrong party, huh?

O-officer, we are
telling the truth.

We did not steal it.

No? What did it do?
Follow you here?

Yes. As a matter
of fact, it did.

Wiseacre remarks are not
going to help you.

You're both under arrest.

She had nothing to do with it.

Okay. Then
you're under arrest.

It's, uh...

heavier than it looks.

Excuse me.
May I?

Now, I want you to go

with these nice gentlemen.

And I want you to stay put
until you hear from me.

I don't want you to do
anything rash.

You understand?

Grab it.

Grab what?

The bedwarmer.

You grab it.

All right, let's go.

Up here, Samantha.

Oh. Uh, Mother,
you have to help me.

Just a minute.

I'm looking over the agenda
for tonight's meeting.

But it's an emergency.

Oh. What is it?

The police have arrested Darrin
for stealing that bedwarmer.

And?

He's in jail.

You call that an emergency?

That's not funny.

Excuse me.

Why are you so upset?

What's the worst
that can happen? Uh...

They'll put Durwood away
for a week or a month.

Or a year at the most...

if we're lucky.

Mother, sometimes

you can be positively vicious.

Thank you, my precious pet.

Yeah. Now, now, look.
They cannot hold Darrin

if I can get rid
of the evidence.

Uh, now, I have to
find the spell

that'll turn that bedwarmer
back to its original form.

The only one who
can tell you that

is the witch who cast it.

Well, I know that.

That's why I want you
to put me on the agenda

so I can ask if
anyone knows about it.

Well, it's a pretty
long agenda right now.

We probably won't
get to you tonight.

Mother...

either I am first on the agenda,

or Daddy is going to find out

all about you and
Sir Walter Raleigh.

What is there to find out?

The dear man was kind enough

to put his cape down
over a puddle for me.

You invited him home to dinner.

So what?

Mother, uh, when you sent me

to bed after dinner...

I didn't go to bed.

Oh, heh. Guess who's
first on the agenda?

All right. All right.

It's time to get started.

Let's settle down, shall we?

As chairlady...

I declare
the Centennial Convocation

of the Witches of the World
to be in session.

The first on the agenda

is my daughter, Samantha.

Thank you.

You have 10 seconds.

What? How can
I explain

the problem in 10 seconds?

You now have eight seconds.

Uh, I... I want to know
if anyone here

has any knowledge of an incident

that apparently took place
during the witch hunts.

It involves a bedwarmer.

Well, we have to move on.

The next order of business...

- Oh, wait, wait, wait.
- Oh, Mother, please.

Now what?

Will you try?
You try.

Send a message out to
the atmospheric continuum.

Oh.

Very well.

Will those in front
move back a bit?

There may be a little fallout.

Sparks fly up And fire rise.

While I the air Do mesmerize.

Find the one Who cast the spell.

And bring him To this ferny dell

Well, we should have
an answer within a few minutes.

Oh, good.

Uh, that'll give me time

to pop down to jail
and see Darrin.

Uh, he's going to be tickled

when he finds out
how cooperative you've been.

Tsk. I may be ill.

I'll go quietly, officer.

Oh. Oh.

Can't you stop snoring?

Only if I stop sleeping.

Forget it.
Go back to sleep.

Can't. Once I'm up, I'm up
for the rest of the...

Hi, sweetheart.

Sam, what are you doing here?

Suppose somebody sees you?

I just dropped in for a minute

to tell you the good news.

Mother just sent out a call

to find the person

who put the spell
on that bedwarmer.

I knew it. I knew it.

They're back.
The witches are back.

You'd better cut out
of here quick.

Okay. Bye-bye,
sweetheart.

See you in court.

All right now.
What's all the fuss?

Wouldn't believe me when

I told you there was
witches, huh?

Explain to me
how she got in here.

- Who?
- Her.

What...? W-What
happened to her?

Mr. Potter...

go back to sleep.

And have another nightmare?

Not me.

I'm gonna stay awake all night.

Good. That's
the first break

I've had all day.

Oh, Samantha. We've
been waiting for you.

- Has anything happened?
- Uh, yes.

Uh, the witch who cast
that spell just arrived.

Uh, she's over there
with your mother.

Serena.

Might have known.

Oh!

Oh, there you are, darling.

Look what the atmospheric
continuum blew in.

- Hi, Serena.
- Hi, Sammy.

Figures.

Okay. Uh, just
give me the spell

you used to change him.

Oh, you've got to be kidding.

That was 300 years ago.

I can't remember that far back.

She has a hard enough
time remembering

what happened yesterday.

Ha-ha-ha! Thanks,
Auntie Endora.

Well, I have to get back
to the palace

before the maharajah's wives
return from the seashore.

Uh-uh.
No, no.

You're not going anywhere.

Not until
we straighten this out.

- Mother?
- Now what?

What you are going to do is

send her back to old Salem

so she can re-create
the incident

and sharpen her memory.

Okay. Let's get
this show on the road.

Winds blow And stars turn round.

Into the past
With the speed of sound.

Take this witch
To the time and place.

Back to the scene
Of Salem's disgrace

Uh, uh...
Uh, Serena.

Widow Patterson.
What has happened to thee?

I am accused of being a witch.

Oh.

Oh, Serena. Thou art
too much.

Oh. Thy lovely wench.

Mm. Mm-hm-hm.

Ooh.

Serena. Ah!

Serena. Well, what
art thou doing?

Well, I'm not picking cotton.

What can I do for you, chum?

What are those...

lips?

Groovy, huh?

Why is thy speech suddenly
so strange to mine ears?

Don't ask me.
I'm not an ear doctor.

Have you ever heard of knocking

before you enter a lady's house?

Well, we have no secrets from
each other, have we, sweetest?

Hast thou thought about
my proposal?

What proposal?
Oh.

Oh. Y-you mean about
getting married.

Oh, get up, Newton.

We had a lovely weekend.
Why spoil it?

Spoil it? I just wanna
make it last forever and a day.

I might consider a day...

but you can forget about
forever.

Oh, Serena. I shall
never leave thy side.

That could make things
a bit awkward.

Art thou expecting somebody?

No. But you never know

when the witch hunters
might barge in.

Not that we couldn't barge out,

but... oh, it's just
such a nuisance.

Aye. And my witchcraft
isn't all it should be.

That's not the only thing.

Hm?

Oh, that reminds me.

Uh, Captain Nichols stopped me
on the street the other day

and asked me a lot of
questions about you.

- No.
- Yes.

Y-you mean, they suspect me?

Uh, w-what did you tell him?

Well, I just said...

Who is it?

Captain Nichols.

It is he. He knows
I am here.

He's coming after me.

C-c-come. W-we had
best vanish.

I'm not going to vanish
till I finish my hair.

But perhaps you had best.

Yes. Yes, it...
It might be wise.

See? When I'm nervous,
my powers keep failing me.

So I've noticed.

What am I to do?

I know. I know.

I'll change you into
something inanimate.

What would you like to be?

I-it makes little
difference. Just do it.

Rumble-ty tumble-ty
Snickety snack.

This spell will give you
Just what you lack.

Courage and calm
Particularly the former.

Zippity-zappity
You're now a bedwarmer.

Oh, no. Not...

Oh. Cute.

No, you don't.

Coming.

What took thee
so long to answer?

Wouldst have me come to
the door half-dressed?

Why not?

Oh!

She'll be back in a moment.

This is getting to be
a drag, Auntie Endora.

One more unwelcome interruption,

and I am going to freak out.

Never mind that.

Court's about to go
into session.

Did you remember the spell?

Yes.

But I've been thinking.

If you change Newton back,

he's gonna start
bugging me again.

W-well, I'm sorry
about that, Serena,

but it's the only way
I can clear Darrin.

It is, huh?

You sure?

Positive.

Sammy...

would it really be so terrible

if Ding-dong

spent one or two years in jail?

What?! You give me
that spell!

Gee. It was
just a suggestion.

Hi there.

Well...

you're early.

Courtroom's right down the hall.

Won't be in session
for another half hour.

I know. Um, I-I was wondering
if you could do me a favor.

What's that?

Sleep tight.

Will you behave yourself?

Rumble-ty tumble-ty
Snicker-y snack.

This is the spell
That will change you back.

First a warlock Then a bedwarmer.

Zippity-zappity
Now you're the former.

- Oh, Serena, my dearest.
- Ow. Uh...

You look lovely as a blond.

- Newton, I am not S-Serena.
- What?

No, I-I-I'm
her cousin, Samantha.

Oh, she must have
told you about me.

Oh, yes. How do
you do, Samantha?

How do you do?

Now, where is my darling Serena?

That was a rotten trick
she pulled on me,

but I still dig that chick.

"Dig?" "Chick?"

How did a 300-year-old
bedwarmer get so hip?

By keeping my ears open
and my lid shut.

Now, take me to Serena.

Well, I-I think there's
something you should know.

Yes?

In exchange for giving me
the spell,

your darling Serena
made me promise

that you would never
bother her again. Ever.

Under any circumstances.

She said that?

Yes.

You know, maybe I ought to
forget about her.

Good idea.

And start thinking about you.

No, forget it, Newton.

I've been out of
circulation so long.

Well, a little bit
longer can't hurt.

Let's bring you up-to-date.

- Oh, lovely.
- Mm-hm.

- Where are we going?
- To court.

Terrific. Whom am I
going to be courting?

Brother. Do you have
a one-track mind.

True, true.

Robbed?

Told you I had a plan.

Some plan, stealing
the evidence.

Some gratitude.

How can you say that to

this lovely lady
who liberated me?

I can say it because
this lovely lady is my wife.

Oh?

Oh.

Oh.

- Miss... Miss Ferndale, hello...
- Sit down, Newton.

She only knows you
as a bedwarmer.

True. I've been
hanging there

for years admiring her.

Will the defendant

please approach the bench?

Now, the evidence
seems to be missing.

You wouldn't happen to know

anything about that, would you?

Me? Your Honor,
I was locked up all night.

Uh, e-excuse me,
Your... Your Honor.

Uh, perhaps I can explain.

She's the defendant's
wife, Your Honor.

Yes?

Well, I-I don't know
whether the officers

mentioned this
in their report or not,

but, uh, that was
a very unusual bedwarmer.

What is she talking about?

I haven't the slightest
idea, Your Honor.

Me either. Heh.

Although come to think of it,

a lot of things
that bedwarmer did

were pretty quirky.

Quirky?

Yeah. Weird.

It wouldn't let us lift it.

Yeah, only her.

Then she told it to do
what she said, and it did.

It did, huh?

Yes. Hopped
right over to us.

Hopped?

Practically did a little jig.

Then when the sergeant
had me put it in the closet...

it tried to bite me.

Oh.

How long has it been since
these men have had a vacation?

Too long.

My apologies to you.

Case is dismissed.

Uh, w-wait.

Uh, Judge Ferguson,

what about my bedwarmer?

Well, I don't know,
Miss Ferndale,

but we certainly have
no case against this man.

Do... D-do you mean
to say that

I'm not going to get it back?

That's just terrible.

I demand an investigation.

After all, I'm
missing a bedwarmer.

- Now, I want it back.
- I understand.

What are you
going to do about it?

Well, you see, the...
The evidence went missing...

I'm sorry, Miss Ferndale,

but we have no evidence.

And without evidence,
we cannot prosecute.

And as for the bedwarmer,

I cannot return that which

seemingly never existed.

Now, I don't know what
you mean by "no evidence."

The evidence is
the bedwarmer is missing.

Uh, forgive me.
What? Yes?

Forgive me for intruding.

But perhaps the bedwarmer
can be replaced.

Uh...

Who are you?

Uh, this is Newton.

He's sort of an expert
on bedwarmers.

Oh. Well...

the one we had was very unique.

Oh, thank you.

I mean, uh, is that true?

Well, just keep
your fingers crossed.

It may show up yet.

And if it doesn't,

I personally guarantee
I will duplicate it.

Duplicate it? How?

By witchcraft, of course.

What?

Uh, Newton.

I don't think it's very nice

to tease someone
who lives in Salem

just because they once
believed in witches.

I'm sorry.

Dear lady...

why don't we have lunch

and discuss the whole matter?

Well, I'd love to.

Sure has a way with
the ladies, doesn't he?

That's for sure.

Anyway... it looks
as if Miss Ferndale

has got herself
another bedwarmer.