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1
00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:04,436
Always sleep with a
pillow between my legs.
2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,605
Any questions?
3
00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,808
Yeah.
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,210
Why the fuck are
you breastfeeding
5
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:12,411
your granddaughter?
6
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:14,313
KATE: And how the fuck
7
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:15,993
are you breastfeeding
your granddaughter?
8
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,516
[sighs]
9
00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:19,318
To answer your question,
10
00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:21,420
Jackie's mom is
on a bender in Tibet,
11
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,200
so I popped a nip in her
mouth to calm her down,
12
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,024
and suddenly she
just started suckling
13
00:00:25,059 --> 00:00:27,659
from my free-flowing teat.
14
00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:30,629
Do your... boys know
that their mother's...
15
00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,264
teat is in their child's
mouth right now?
16
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,066
No.
17
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,212
But I'm sure they'd
think it was fine.
18
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,835
I mean, look at us!
19
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,537
We're both so happy!
20
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:42,841
SLOANE: [sobbing]
21
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,643
Sorry, don't mind me. I'm fine.
22
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,478
Are you sure?
23
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,680
Because your mouth
is saying you're good,
24
00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,727
but water is falling from
your eyes like you're bad.
25
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:51,450
I'm just feeling overwhelmed.
26
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:52,884
Oh, yeah.
27
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:55,954
SLOANE: Exhausted, all the time.
28
00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,457
Being pulled in a
million directions.
29
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,459
It's like I'm treading water...
30
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,661
in a hurricane.
31
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,863
Choking on seawater, being
slapped around by waves.
32
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:08,267
Drowning, but like, lightly.
33
00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,768
Oh, boy. Yeah,
that's the picture.
34
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:11,270
Yeah.
35
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,372
SLOANE: Anyway, don't mind me.
36
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,907
I'm just having a moment,
and the good news is...
37
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:16,508
it is going to
get better, right?
38
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:20,312
[laughs]
39
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,981
ANNE: That's a good
one. That's really good.
40
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,383
Are you saying it doesn't?
41
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,685
ANNE: No! God, no.
42
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,365
These are the good years.
Wait until they're walking.
43
00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:30,689
That's when the
real tornado hits.
44
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,092
Mm-hm, or when they come
home with a Jizz Boy tattoo.
45
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,072
And don't even get me started
on when they use your name
46
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:37,296
on a down payment for
a warehouse because
47
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,197
they think they're going
to "enter the space race."
48
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,132
That phase blows.
49
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,000
So what you're
saying is that it's just...
50
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:43,313
always gonna be hard?
KATE: There we go.
51
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,003
ANNE: Yeah. VAL: 100%.
52
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:51,310
♪
53
00:01:51,345 --> 00:01:53,011
KATE: Why did
we do it, you think?
54
00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:02,222
KATE: Mm.
55
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:10,629
Mm.
56
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,731
So...
57
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,834
about last night.
58
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:18,970
I feel as though I owe
you both an apology.
59
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,540
I'm sure what you saw
was deeply disturbing,
60
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,643
and potentially traumatizing
for years to come.
61
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,979
But, you know, when
it comes to therapy,
62
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:31,049
I got you covered, so
don't even think about that.
63
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,152
KATE: Mm-hm.
64
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:33,985
Also, believe it or not,
you know, it's just work,
65
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:36,588
what you saw.
66
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,456
It's just some good
old-fashioned, you know,
67
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:38,857
market research.
68
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,592
I'd rather not talk about it.
69
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,661
I'd also rather
not talk about it.
70
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,341
And can you please
remove this from the table?
71
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:45,664
We eat here.
KATE: Oh, I'm sorry.
72
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:46,765
I just wanted him to dry out.
73
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,400
I'll just put him...
74
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,569
But, you know,
it has to be said...
75
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,149
[vampire voice] Who is
sexually repressed now?!
76
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,206
Kate.
77
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:55,974
I was doing a vampire kind of...
78
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,576
KATE: Sorry. He's in the purse.
79
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,178
Gonna take him to work.
80
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,257
You're never gonna
see him again.
81
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:00,812
He's gone. Poof!
82
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,214
Um...
83
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,393
I'm gonna go to school early.
84
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:04,483
Probably for the best.
85
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,385
Okay. Great talk!
86
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,464
I feel like we covered
it, we got it clear,
87
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,221
it's all clean now.
88
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,889
Have a great day.
And this is all fine.
89
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:15,794
Everything's fine.
90
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:18,096
Do you think that he saw...
91
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,298
everything?
92
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,432
He saw enough.
93
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:25,304
Yeah, okay. Mm-hm.
94
00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,905
How are... how are you feeling?
95
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,040
Any headaches,
or bloating, or..?
96
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,109
Do I... look bloated?
97
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,010
KATE: What? No.
98
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,190
No, you look great.
You look very good.
99
00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:33,912
No... no bloating.
100
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,248
Well, good.
101
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,195
I'm actually starting to
feel a lot more like myself.
102
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:40,719
Hm, look at us,
killing it on all fronts!
103
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:41,998
You're feeling good, I just got
word that a few more retailers
104
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,223
want to pick up Seedless,
105
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:46,425
and my stepson probably
didn't see my entire vulva.
106
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,740
You know? NATHAN:
Exciting stuff.
107
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,828
Almost as exciting as, uh...
108
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,030
Don't you say it.
109
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,810
The new episode of "The
Best Lay" that drops tonight.
110
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,334
Don't say "drops."
111
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,869
And get this...
This shit's live.
112
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,638
Tell me you're gonna be home.
113
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,840
I mean, I want to, I
do, but, you know,
114
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,875
work has been crazy
lately, and honestly,
115
00:04:03,944 --> 00:04:05,322
they've been practising
this new fire alarm
116
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:06,278
that just takes a lot of time.
117
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,046
Come on!
118
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,881
[sighs] Okay,
okay, I will be here.
119
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,884
But I do have to go to work.
120
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,554
Actually, correction...
We have to go to work.
121
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,457
[vampire voice] We carpool
on account of the environment!
122
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,692
Seriously, stop doing that!
123
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,560
I feel like you're being
dramatic and this is very funny.
124
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,862
Whatever.
125
00:04:23,897 --> 00:04:25,675
"Dramatic" is finding that
thing between your legs.
126
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:26,876
But honestly, he
gave me a good time.
127
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,967
NATHAN: That's revolting.
128
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,869
LIONEL: Ha-ha... Okay.
129
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:34,273
Look at this web.
130
00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:36,775
Is that an "if" or an "it?"
131
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,910
I can't quite make it out.
132
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,690
For the last time, this
is not "Charlotte's Web."
133
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,681
She's gone, honey.
ALICE: Who's gone?
134
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,883
Your father is convinced
that Tula's still here
135
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,296
and has been spinning
messages for him in her web.
136
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,786
Tarantulas don't spin webs.
137
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,288
LIONEL: They don't? ALICE: No.
138
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,323
They also don't leave messages.
139
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,492
Hey, are you home
for dinner tonight?
140
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:54,671
I haven't seen you
lately. ALICE: No.
141
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,794
I... have drama club.
142
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:59,197
Yeah, right.
143
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,932
And I have dinosaur club.
144
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,201
ALICE: No, I'm serious.
145
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,282
Why is it unbelievable that
I could be in drama club?
146
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:08,307
Do you believe you
could be in drama club?
147
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,742
What your father
is trying to say is
148
00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:13,712
that this is the first that
we're hearing of it, that's all.
149
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:16,014
Okay, well, now you know.
150
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,549
And now I'm leaving, so...
151
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,318
Bye.
152
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:22,421
Bye.
153
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,223
[sighs] [door closes]
154
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,846
LIONEL: Drama club,
my ass. ANNE: What?
155
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,204
LIONEL: If she
was in drama club,
156
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:29,828
she'd be a way better liar.
157
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,830
She is up to
something, I know it.
158
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,543
I don't know. I mean,
there is a drama club.
159
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,133
Maybe... she caught
the thespian bug.
160
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,436
The "thespian bug?"
161
00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:39,371
Who are you? Why
are you not skeptical?
162
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,640
What have you done with my wife?
163
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,420
I'm just saying maybe it
wouldn't be the worst idea
164
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,143
to give her the
benefit of the doubt.
165
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,945
God, we're always
expecting the worst.
166
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:50,248
Maybe that's the
problem. LIONEL: Yeah.
167
00:05:50,351 --> 00:05:52,228
I mean, she did play one hell
of a cloud in that production
168
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,530
of "Jack and the
Beanstalk" in kindergarten.
169
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,053
There you go.
170
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,365
I gotta go. I'll see you later.
171
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,790
♪
172
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:02,461
♪
173
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:03,995
Mornin'!
174
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,264
Kate... Quick word?
175
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,644
KATE: You know, I think
we should start developing
176
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,568
the new Seedless ad, right?
177
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:10,469
Strike while the iron's
hot? Get ahead of it?
178
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:11,770
Oh!
179
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,271
Hey, Ram, Denise!
180
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,006
Here to celebrate? [chuckles]
181
00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,608
What?
182
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:20,078
Why do your
faces look like that?
183
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,881
KATE: "Denise Richards,
the scientist behind Seedless,
184
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,394
"the world's first
male birth control pill,
185
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,585
"rendered dozens of men sterile
186
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:30,188
"during a university
clinical trial 18 years ago."
187
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,991
[sighs] Is this really true?
188
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,826
Yes.
189
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,795
KATE: Jesus Christ,
how did this happen?
190
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,897
Why didn't you tell
me? DENISE: I'm sorry.
191
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,810
It's obviously not
something I'm super proud of,
192
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,200
or like to share.
193
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,635
Yeah, I should hope not.
194
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,804
DENISE: It wasn't just me, okay?
195
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,039
I mean, I was a student
looking for extra credit,
196
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,419
so I joined this research
group that was developing
197
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:50,809
a new drug for canker sores.
198
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:53,111
It was just a dumb experiment.
199
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,313
Didn't everyone
experiment in university?
200
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:56,426
KATE: For most people,
experimenting in university
201
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:59,017
meant trying ecstasy
202
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:01,720
or mastering a three-course
meal in a microwave, not...
203
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,121
sterilizing men!
204
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,856
RAM: This is really bad.
205
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,726
They're calling
her "The Sterilizer."
206
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:08,927
Which is apt.
207
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,530
Those poor guys.
208
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,932
What? It's occasionally
okay to feel bad for men.
209
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,468
Isn't it?
210
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,014
Okay, who even
published this article?
211
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:18,870
Scientific Quarterly?
212
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,872
Who reads that?
213
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:21,640
The Associated Press.
214
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,742
Goddammit.
215
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,744
RAM: Which means that
everyone is picking it up.
216
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,846
Buzzfeed, Salon, Reader's
Digest, you name it.
217
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,481
This is a nightmare.
218
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,282
One of our retailers
just pulled out,
219
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,729
because who is
gonna take birth control
220
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,285
from a woman who neuters men?
221
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:35,632
Okay, we can
think of a solution.
222
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:38,156
We just have to spin this.
223
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,559
ROSIE: I know... KATE: Okay.
224
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,894
Maybe people will think it's
the other Denise Richards
225
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,564
who did this...
226
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,766
Maybe.
227
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,301
KATE: Okay, goddammit.
DENISE: Oh, how about this?
228
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,549
What about the 966 men in
the trial that I didn't sterilize?
229
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,473
We could spin that,
right? RAM: Denise...
230
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,374
We'll talk about this later.
231
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:58,577
RAM: You made her
the face of Seedless.
232
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:01,713
You have to fix this, or
we are seriously fucked.
233
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,381
Of course. I will.
234
00:08:03,484 --> 00:08:04,761
I'll think of something.
I always do.
235
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:08,887
Good.
236
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:12,924
It was actually 967
men that I didn't sterilize,
237
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:13,925
if that helps anything.
238
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,393
It really doesn't.
239
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:21,533
♪
240
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:22,879
SLOANE: Alright, well,
let's talk dates and details
241
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,803
for "Tasking."
242
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:25,904
I think we should lean
into Maggie's history
243
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,607
as a public speaker.
244
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,687
Yeah, I'm thinking a university
tour with some major cities.
245
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,512
[mouthing words]
246
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:34,913
Uh-huh.
247
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,414
[mouthing words]
248
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:38,750
SLOANE: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
249
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,379
[in a whisper] Den...
Dentist? Dentures?
250
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,754
SLOANE: Okay, alright.
251
00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,534
I'm gonna leave this with
you, and let's just circle back
252
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:45,323
when you've ironed
out the details.
253
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,225
Okay, great.
254
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,127
Where is my danish?
255
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,829
[laughs] Oh!
256
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,831
Honestly I had no
idea what that was.
257
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,966
I had a bad experience...
One time I thought I was
258
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,035
playing Charades, but
someone was actually having
259
00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:59,037
a medical emergency...
SLOANE: Okay, honestly,
260
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,939
I don't want to get
into this with you today.
261
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,941
Forget the danish.
What is in your hand?
262
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:03,775
COLIN: Oh, uh, Maggie
just sent her new draft.
263
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:04,976
SLOANE: Great.
264
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,145
Also, your 10 am is here.
265
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,378
I don't have a 10 am.
266
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:10,348
VAL: Goooood morning!
267
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,783
Val!
268
00:09:11,852 --> 00:09:13,952
This is not really a good time.
269
00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:16,555
It'll only take a sec.
270
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,768
I just wanted to pop by and let
you know that I signed you up
271
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:19,869
on a dating app. SLOANE: What?!
272
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:20,592
I'm in a relationship.
273
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,460
Simmer down.
274
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:24,763
It's a friendship dating
app for new moms.
275
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:27,398
It's called "Bundle."
SLOANE: Mm.
276
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,968
Somehow I'm even less
into it. VAL: Come on!
277
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,748
Don't you think you could use
a little community right now?
278
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,672
Isn't that the
point of Val's Pals?
279
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:36,074
Did that really feel
like community to you?
280
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,054
Talking with other high-powered
women with newborns
281
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,978
might really help.
282
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,658
And look, if it doesn't,
at least you'll have
283
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,615
a good story for
the next Val's Pals.
284
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,016
And God knows we need it.
285
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,619
I don't know.
286
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:49,220
VAL: You don't
have to do a thing.
287
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,600
I already set up
a profile for you.
288
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,423
SLOANE: You what? VAL: Yup!
289
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:54,392
And I included all
the pertinent details.
290
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,194
"A take-no-prisoners
publishing powerhouse
291
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,429
"with a heart of gold."
SLOANE: [laughs]
292
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,632
You might have to do
another pass on that one.
293
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,499
You'll get an email
notification if you're matched
294
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,835
with any moms.
295
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:07,706
Oh my God, what if you don't
get matched with any moms?
296
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,185
That would be really
humiliating for you.
297
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,109
Val, I need you to leave now.
298
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,444
Say no more. I was
getting that exact sense.
299
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,313
And I have to
pump anyways, so...
300
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,849
Toodles, bitch!
301
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,517
[chuckles]
302
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,624
[notification on computer]
303
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:32,664
♪
304
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:37,869
♪
305
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,138
[under her breath] Come
on, think of something.
306
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,818
Think of something.
Think of something...
307
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:45,844
[phone buzzes]
308
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:49,147
Hey, can I call you back?
I'm just in the middle of...
309
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,260
NATHAN: [on phone] Real
quick, for the live show tonight,
310
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,062
I thought we could order
in. Sushi or perogies?
311
00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:54,953
I know, opposite
ends of the spectrum.
312
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,355
I-I don't think I can
make the live show.
313
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:59,891
NATHAN: No! You
can't miss The Best Lay!
314
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,460
I mean, I know it's garbage,
but that's what makes it so good!
315
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,863
KATE: I'm just in the middle
of this Seedless shitshow,
316
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,042
and honestly, I don't think
I can dig myself out of it.
317
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,499
NATHAN: Wait a minute.
318
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:09,500
I saw on Twitter that there
was this birth control scientist
319
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:10,268
who was...
320
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,470
Oh my God.
321
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:15,073
Oh my God, relax.
Yes, it was her.
322
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,375
No, you're not in
danger of being sterilized.
323
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:18,877
We should be so fucking lucky.
324
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,979
Well, I hope you
can work it out,
325
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:23,481
because tonight the
shit is gonna hit the fan.
326
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,483
Either Cole or Chase
are getting eliminated
327
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,185
because they're both
hooking up with Trina
328
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,387
and neither one can
be in the same room
329
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,267
without beating the living
shit out of each other.
330
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,568
I'm talking about
tearing down the set!
331
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:33,925
Just taking down the walls!
332
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,194
Nathan, this sounds so stupid.
333
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,728
I guess it's a guy thing.
334
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,096
It's a guy show. Never mind.
335
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:42,901
♪
336
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,937
How many viewers
did you say it got?
337
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:49,007
2.5 million viewers...
338
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,341
That's a good following.
339
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,542
But could be better.
340
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,812
Okay...
341
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:55,814
Hey, I didn't accept
a last-minute meeting
342
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,616
on my busiest day
just to be negged.
343
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:02,220
You told my assistant the fate
of my show is in your hands...
344
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:05,724
Uh, yes, I had to get
your attention, didn't I?
345
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,960
Look, it's no secret that your
following is predominantly male.
346
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,106
Your female viewership
is dropping off
347
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:12,363
in alarming numbers.
348
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,733
Are you putting on a dating
show or a crypto convention?
349
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:17,568
[chuckles]
350
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:20,238
What if I could change your
bro-viewing into co-viewing?
351
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,572
I'm listening.
352
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,141
KATE: I represent Seedless,
353
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,220
the first male
birth control pill.
354
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,144
PRODUCER: Seedless?
355
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,346
Didn't I read about
you guys this morning?
356
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,026
One of your scientists
sterilized a bunch of dudes.
357
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,350
You did. And that's unfortunate.
358
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,985
But really, it's just noise
359
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,494
undercutting a
revolutionary product.
360
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,989
Okay, um, great.
361
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,959
Listen, I have a live show to
shoot, so if we could just, um...
362
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:43,161
The point is, Seedless
has nothing to do with
363
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,741
what our scientist was
working on 20 years ago.
364
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,598
It's safe, it's game-changing,
365
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,267
and by aligning
with our product,
366
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:52,003
you are speaking
to women worldwide.
367
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,672
This is an opportunity to
double your viewership.
368
00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:58,576
Bring some feminism
into the Fuck Hut.
369
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,812
I don't hate this.
370
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:04,615
♪
371
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:08,619
[humming]
372
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,421
[door opens] JOSEPH: Oh, my God.
373
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,690
JACOB: Dude, I'm serious.
374
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,426
Who closes the bus door
after the bus driver gets out?
375
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:19,297
JOSEPH: If you ask me that
one more time, I swear, it's...
376
00:13:19,399 --> 00:13:21,399
Don't freak out.
377
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,401
I know what you're thinking.
378
00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,203
"Why is my mother
breastfeeding my daughter?"
379
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:27,605
But it doesn't need
to be so taboo.
380
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,418
Clearly Mother Nature
has given me this special gift
381
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:32,610
at the perfect moment,
382
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,313
when your sweet angel
was in search of a breast.
383
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:42,420
Aren't you gonna say anything?
384
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,000
JOSEPH: What the...?!
JACOB: What the hell, Mom?
385
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,623
JOSEPH: What?
386
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,325
JACOB: That's
fuckin' disgusting!
387
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,727
You're gonna scar
her for life, Mom!
388
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:50,840
What was I supposed to do?
Jackie won't take the bottle!
389
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,530
The answer isn't...
390
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:53,843
shoving your boob
in my baby's mouth!
391
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,867
Yeah! Our baby's mouth.
392
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,735
You didn't even ask!
VAL: I didn't have to.
393
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,270
She told me with her eyes!
394
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,472
No, us, Mom. You didn't ask us!
395
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,241
What the fuck is this?
396
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:04,520
I got a few nursing
bras on Amazon.
397
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,544
They're more comfortable.
398
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,046
Sue me. JOSEPH: Okay.
399
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,480
Give her back. VAL: Hey, no!
400
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:10,849
Give her back! Unlatch!
401
00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:13,051
No!
402
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:13,551
Mom, I will take your
nipple with her if I have to.
403
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:16,888
Oh!
404
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:19,090
Wait...
405
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,292
What are you gonna do?
How are you gonna feed her?
406
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,461
JOSEPH: We'll figure it
out! JACOB: Great question!
407
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,763
Now what am I gonna
do with all this milk?
408
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:34,705
♪
409
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:37,708
♪
410
00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:40,912
[elevator bell dings]
411
00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:44,482
♪
412
00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:46,584
♪
413
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,719
[phone buzzes]
414
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:57,195
[sighs]
415
00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:02,100
Stupid.
416
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,334
[exhales briskly]
417
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:07,005
[phone buzzing]
418
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:11,142
Hi, Lionel.
419
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,945
Did you know that every
member of drama club
420
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:16,214
has to perform a
self-written monologue?
421
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,216
And...?
422
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,695
LIONEL: Does that
sound like our daughter?
423
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,921
Writing monologues?
424
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,422
Uh, I hadn't really
thought about it.
425
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,424
Yeah, because it doesn't!
426
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:28,526
You know what does
sound like our daughter, hm?
427
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,406
Huffing whippets behind
a dumpster with some guy
428
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,908
that's got a lollipop
tattoo on his face.
429
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,232
ANNE: Oddly specific.
430
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,367
You know what, I just
had a client cancel.
431
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,636
Why don't I head to the
school and see what's up?
432
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,549
Oh, uh, great, 'cause I'm
actually on a Zoom meeting
433
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,440
that's on mute, so
if you don't mind...
434
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,342
MAN ON ZOOM: Uh,
Lionel, you're not on mute.
435
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:46,777
Not if it gets me out
of this conversation.
436
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:50,781
♪
437
00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,952
PAUL: Where's your
mommy, huh? Where is she?
438
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:57,989
Oh, I see her.
439
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,991
You have no idea
how badly I need this.
440
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:03,161
I had them warm
it up for you too.
441
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,662
Mm-hm?
442
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:06,664
Fuck, that is good.
443
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,144
Yeah, you don't need
to tell me the benefits
444
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:08,967
of a post-lunch pastry.
445
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,468
Thank you for this.
446
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,403
Thank you for bringing him.
447
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,204
And now I have to go
because I have a date.
448
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,672
Uh... what?
449
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:17,008
With a woman.
450
00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:18,376
Still in the weeds on this one.
451
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,178
[chuckles] It's a mom date.
452
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:22,880
Val set me up on
this app called Bundle.
453
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:24,882
Okay. Well, that's kinda cool.
454
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:26,395
SLOANE: How do I look?
PAUL: You look great.
455
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,987
Thank you.
456
00:16:29,022 --> 00:16:32,890
Now, I don't mean to be rude,
but you really do have to go.
457
00:16:32,993 --> 00:16:34,225
Good luck on your date!
458
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:38,796
♪
459
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,606
OSCAR: Excuse me, hi.
460
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,909
Are you Sloane?
461
00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:52,843
Maybe.
462
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:55,313
And you would be?
463
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,449
Sorry, uh, creepy
stranger park vibes, I know.
464
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,652
I'm Oscar, Alyssa's husband,
the woman you met on Bundle.
465
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,522
Oh. O-okay.
466
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,724
OSCAR: She's
caught up in a meeting
467
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,906
and didn't want to leave
you hanging, so she sent me.
468
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,129
Oh.
469
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,064
She could've just
sent me a text,
470
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,433
but thank you for
letting me know.
471
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:18,836
Uh, maybe just let her
know we can reschedule.
472
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,871
Yeah, yeah. I'll let her know.
473
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:23,441
Do you need a
hand with anything?
474
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,343
No, I'm good, I'm good.
475
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,878
Not that you don't
look perfectly capable.
476
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:30,348
It just took me like 45 minutes
just to get out of the car.
477
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,883
Does he really
need all of these?
478
00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:34,130
I don't think he
needs all of those!
479
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:37,488
I have a very picky baby!
480
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,489
Your guy doesn't
need a different soother
481
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,058
for every mood?
482
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,859
Well, babies are
high-maintenance.
483
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,139
But good thing
they're so cute, right?
484
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,363
[chuckles]
485
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:46,742
Sometimes I just want to
rip off his chubby little feet
486
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:47,898
and eat 'em up.
487
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:52,170
Not literally, of course.
488
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,083
I actually want to rip off
my baby's feet and eat them.
489
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,107
Literally! OSCAR:
Oh, okay! [laughs]
490
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:59,477
Uh, that makes
me feel a lot better!
491
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,290
I'm not the only baby-eating
monster in the park.
492
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:04,515
[laughs] Uh, no, definitely not.
493
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,694
STUDENT: I really wish we'd
played catch together, Dad.
494
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:08,319
But now...
495
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:10,921
we never will.
496
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:14,925
[applause]
497
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,095
ANNE: [quietly] Oh!
498
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,300
Hello?
499
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:24,902
Hello!
500
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:27,338
I'm here, aren't I?
501
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:30,007
No? I'm not?
502
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:34,145
Everybody's watching
me on their phones.
503
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:37,415
But nobody wants
to look into my eyes.
504
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:38,794
ANNE: Oh, no. ALICE:
They're blue, by the way.
505
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:42,153
What colour are your eyes?
506
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,554
Or yours?
507
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,523
Or...
508
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:49,026
even yours, blind man?
509
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:52,630
All of our eyes are open,
510
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:56,134
but does anybody really see?
511
00:18:56,169 --> 00:19:00,171
Hello?!
512
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,441
[applause]
513
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:08,646
♪
514
00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:11,182
Okay, well, there's
good news and bad news.
515
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:14,152
Good news, she is in drama club.
516
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:18,256
The bad news is that, she
does not have a future in it.
517
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:20,636
Like, we need to actively steer
her in a whole other direction
518
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:24,362
or this is gonna be
a real problem for...
519
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:25,397
Oh my God.
520
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:28,866
♪
521
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,769
SEAMUS: You were incredible.
522
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:34,872
Oh my God.
523
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:38,409
♪
524
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:43,080
♪
525
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:46,284
SEAMUS: Her hair just
smells so fuckin' good.
526
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:49,820
And her lips...
527
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:52,022
God, her lips make me crazy.
528
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:52,690
♪
529
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:56,026
Oh, no.
530
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:59,096
Oh...
531
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,276
I could tell she was
giving me the eyes
532
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,600
from across the room.
533
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,813
That's why before I walked
over, I popped in a Seedless.
534
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:07,037
Male birth control,
it's a revelation, yo!
535
00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,307
Holy shit.
536
00:20:09,409 --> 00:20:11,041
That's my show! You
did that to my show!
537
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,843
KATE: I did that to your show.
538
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,089
GUY: [on TV] These
girls all hate condoms.
539
00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:16,714
Trina, Dina, Lina...
540
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:19,027
So the guys and I decided to
take matters into our own hands.
541
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,818
Seedless is about equality.
542
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,333
I'm sorry, is that
empowering for men?
543
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:23,120
I think I just empowered men.
544
00:20:23,223 --> 00:20:24,422
I think you did.
545
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,924
I think you empowered men.
546
00:20:27,026 --> 00:20:29,037
GUY: [on TV] Apparently a
lady scientist created Seedless,
547
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,105
but don't let that
stop you from trying it.
548
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:32,430
This stuff's legit!
549
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,265
They can't all be
wins, but... that's a win.
550
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,511
I'll take that. NATHAN: [laughs]
551
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:37,034
Jesus Christ.
552
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,113
I cannot believe
this idea worked.
553
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:41,272
Like, what the fuck?
554
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:44,041
Your dumbass obsession with
this show may have saved Seedless.
555
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:47,478
You're welcome.
556
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:51,449
KATE: You know, I know I'm
no Lina, Dina, or Trina, but um...
557
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:53,751
what if I'm "The Best Lay"?
558
00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:55,353
There's only one
way to find out.
559
00:20:55,455 --> 00:21:00,758
Oh, boy.
560
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:03,060
Sure, it sucks being
voted off this week.
561
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,663
But you know what doesn't suck?
562
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:06,698
Male birth control.
563
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,266
KATE: Mm! [giggles]
564
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:16,400
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