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1
00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:24,083
Midships.
2
00:02:24,875 --> 00:02:27,750
Think.
That's all that's required of a man.
3
00:02:27,833 --> 00:02:31,208
Let him think and there are no fiascos.
4
00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:33,417
Steady on 1-4-0.
5
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,083
The Admiral speaking.
6
00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:38,583
What's wrong with the damn thing?
7
00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:40,000
The Admiral speaking.
8
00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:44,333
The Admiral speaking.
9
00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:46,125
Confounded thing doesn't work.
10
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,208
Perfect example of inefficiency.
11
00:02:48,292 --> 00:02:49,667
Somebody wasn't thinking.
12
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:52,042
Get an electrician, get a radio man,
get somebody.
13
00:02:52,125 --> 00:02:53,583
Beg your pardon, sir.
14
00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:55,292
It isn't switched on.
15
00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:01,750
The Navy needs men like you.
16
00:03:02,417 --> 00:03:05,292
In fact, we should find
a wider field for your talents.
17
00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:06,375
Ashore.
18
00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:22,083
Now, this is the value of war games.
19
00:03:22,167 --> 00:03:25,375
I ask you gentlemen to note
the beauty of this manoeuvre.
20
00:03:25,458 --> 00:03:28,292
Hampshire will be in position by 0600,
21
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:31,500
to launch guided missiles
at the enemy carriers.
22
00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:36,292
Well, something worrying you?
23
00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:37,792
Er, beg your pardon, sir,
24
00:03:37,875 --> 00:03:40,958
but wasn't the Hampshire
judged sunk in yesterday's manoeuvres?
25
00:03:41,042 --> 00:03:42,083
What?
26
00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:44,167
Wasn't the Hampshire judged sunk in...
27
00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,042
Oh, yes. Yes, I heard you, yes.
28
00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:47,417
Quite so.
29
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,750
Clever of you to remember.
30
00:03:49,833 --> 00:03:51,750
Claxton, have this officer commended.
31
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:53,417
Oh, thank you, sir.
32
00:03:53,958 --> 00:03:55,250
And transferred.
33
00:03:58,583 --> 00:04:01,083
Now, Commander,
according to your service record,
34
00:04:01,167 --> 00:04:02,875
you've done a splendid job.
35
00:04:02,958 --> 00:04:04,000
Splendid.
36
00:04:04,083 --> 00:04:07,208
But for some reason there seems
to be a certain lack of continuity.
37
00:04:07,292 --> 00:04:10,958
For instance, you've held 12 appointments
in the last 18 months.
38
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,917
That does seem a bit much.
39
00:04:14,708 --> 00:04:17,333
However, this may not be your fault
40
00:04:17,417 --> 00:04:19,375
and psychology may help.
41
00:04:19,458 --> 00:04:22,792
Now, the Admiralty feels
that they want a scientific analysis
42
00:04:22,875 --> 00:04:25,667
of the aptitudes of our better men.
43
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:28,625
You see, it's a question of getting
the right man
44
00:04:28,708 --> 00:04:30,625
in the right job...
45
00:04:30,708 --> 00:04:32,750
at the right time.
46
00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:34,292
Now, in order to facilitate this,
47
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,792
we of the psychology department
48
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:38,708
have designed certain aptitude tests.
49
00:04:38,792 --> 00:04:40,750
For example, this one here.
50
00:04:40,833 --> 00:04:42,542
Now, it's quite simple, Commander.
51
00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:45,208
The idea is to turn the inputtable cog,
52
00:04:45,292 --> 00:04:47,542
that's the white one
with the letters on it,
53
00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:49,458
through a series of relays
54
00:04:49,542 --> 00:04:51,750
to turn the end product cog,
55
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,250
that's the yellow one
with the numbers on it,
56
00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:57,458
that will generate electricity
and light the little lamp.
57
00:04:57,542 --> 00:04:59,750
I'll just do it once.
58
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,625
It's quite simple really.
59
00:05:01,708 --> 00:05:04,250
And you've got a whole
15 seconds to beat the clock...
60
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:06,083
Erm, to do the test.
61
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,375
There we are.
62
00:05:07,458 --> 00:05:09,958
And the blue one... on the end.
63
00:05:16,458 --> 00:05:19,917
Mustn't use force because it...
it shows aggressiveness.
64
00:05:22,042 --> 00:05:24,417
These things stiffen up,
you know, after time.
65
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:27,625
Tricky, this one but... Ah, there we are.
66
00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:30,667
It should work.
67
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:33,250
Er, may I suggest...
68
00:05:37,708 --> 00:05:39,875
I say!
69
00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:43,083
I say, you did that very well indeed.
Are you very good at this sort of thing?
70
00:05:43,167 --> 00:05:46,375
Well, in that case,
I've got a whole draw load.
71
00:05:48,583 --> 00:05:51,417
I think you all know
Lieutenant Commander Badger.
72
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,708
He's probably better known
as the Artful Bodger.
73
00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:56,708
He's just be assigned
to the new class at Dartmouth.
74
00:05:56,792 --> 00:05:58,417
Oh, jolly good. Well done.
75
00:05:58,500 --> 00:05:59,917
Thank you, Headmaster.
76
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,292
I remember the last time we met.
77
00:06:01,375 --> 00:06:02,625
- We...
- In a moment, gentlemen,
78
00:06:02,708 --> 00:06:04,167
we shall be interviewing young men
79
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:06,667
who want to become officers
in Her Majesty's Navy.
80
00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:10,333
I hope, gentlemen, I find you all
ready and refreshed
81
00:06:10,417 --> 00:06:13,833
for another battle with the products
of our present day and age?
82
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,417
I don't know what
the schools do to them.
83
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,625
Can't be that the stock has changed.
84
00:06:18,708 --> 00:06:20,292
Must be the environment.
85
00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:21,792
By the time we get to them,
86
00:06:21,875 --> 00:06:25,625
takes us five whole years to make them
any damn use to man or beast.
87
00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:29,625
Remember, we are not
looking for normal boys.
88
00:06:29,708 --> 00:06:32,417
We are looking for boys
who will make naval officers
89
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,042
and there's a difference.
90
00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:35,625
We want halfwits.
91
00:06:37,083 --> 00:06:40,917
The service will add the other half
in its own way and in its own time.
92
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,125
- Er, any questions?
- No, sir.
93
00:06:43,208 --> 00:06:45,583
None of these boys
will be very intelligent.
94
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,458
If they had any intelligence,
they wouldn't be here,
95
00:06:47,542 --> 00:06:51,042
they'd be applying for jobs outside
where they get better pay and less work.
96
00:06:51,125 --> 00:06:54,875
However, lack of intelligence
need not concern us.
97
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:58,333
An intelligent man never makes
a good naval officer.
98
00:06:58,417 --> 00:07:00,500
He embarrasses everybody.
99
00:07:00,583 --> 00:07:03,500
Well, we'll give them half an hour each.
100
00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:17,750
- Good morning.
- Good morning, sir.
101
00:07:17,833 --> 00:07:20,167
- Maconnick is the name, isn't it?
- Yes, sir.
102
00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:22,833
Why do you want to join the Royal Navy?
103
00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:25,958
Well, it's not really me
who's all that keen, sir.
104
00:07:26,042 --> 00:07:28,042
I thought it was you, actually.
105
00:07:28,708 --> 00:07:31,125
They told me you were short of recruits.
106
00:07:31,208 --> 00:07:33,125
Sort of like the Salvation Army.
107
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,792
You understand, Carson,
108
00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:43,292
that today a good naval officer
is a highly educated specialist?
109
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:47,542
For instance, the operation of a warship
is a complex scientific discipline
110
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:51,833
requiring mastery of mathematics,
meteorology, cybernetics,
111
00:07:51,917 --> 00:07:53,208
and a dozen other skills.
112
00:07:53,875 --> 00:07:56,458
Do you think you could acquire
the necessary knowledge?
113
00:07:57,542 --> 00:08:01,000
Well, sir, I had a distinction
in Maths at Higher Level,
114
00:08:01,083 --> 00:08:05,083
won the Trident Award
for original experiments in electronics,
115
00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:07,583
and was licensed
to operate technical equipment
116
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:10,708
including radar, sonar, and so forth.
117
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,833
Very good.
118
00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:17,375
Now, take a look
at that picture on the wall.
119
00:08:24,708 --> 00:08:27,000
What would you say about that sloop?
120
00:08:30,542 --> 00:08:32,292
I'd say it was a ketch, sir.
121
00:08:34,333 --> 00:08:35,667
Yes, of course.
122
00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:37,208
I just wanted to see if you knew.
123
00:08:37,292 --> 00:08:38,792
Go on.
124
00:08:40,042 --> 00:08:42,833
Well, it's coming out
on the evening ebb tide.
125
00:08:42,917 --> 00:08:44,458
Two men on deck,
126
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:47,417
which means probably two girls
below cooking supper, sir.
127
00:08:51,917 --> 00:08:54,208
The harbor is on the south coast.
128
00:08:54,292 --> 00:08:56,083
From the shape of the hills
and the red soil,
129
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:57,917
Devon or possibly Dorset.
130
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,792
Racing pennant, dinghy lashed on deck,
131
00:08:59,875 --> 00:09:01,542
spinnaker boom lying up forward.
132
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,583
Thank you, Sherlock Holmes.
133
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,125
You've an excellent record.
134
00:09:05,208 --> 00:09:08,833
I'm glad you think the Navy's
the best place to utilize your talents.
135
00:09:08,917 --> 00:09:11,333
Well, I'm not really sure it is, sir.
136
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,042
But I'm willing to give it a try.
137
00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:23,583
Well, sir, it was either join the Navy
or become a parson.
138
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:24,792
Thank you.
139
00:09:24,875 --> 00:09:25,958
That's all.
140
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:29,458
I assume we're agreed
141
00:09:29,542 --> 00:09:32,667
we've not reached the point
of desperation where we accept that one.
142
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,500
Get worse every year.
143
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:40,750
We need men who are in top physical trim.
144
00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:43,458
An athlete has the necessary speed
and co-ordination
145
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,458
to act efficiently in an emergency.
146
00:09:45,542 --> 00:09:46,958
Oh, yes. Yes, I know that, sir.
147
00:09:47,042 --> 00:09:49,250
Well, I was captain
of my school rugger 15,
148
00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:50,917
opening bat for the cricket 11,
149
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,583
ran anchor for the relay team and was
the light-middleweight boxing champion.
150
00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:55,917
And you feel your physical qualifications
151
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,667
could be best used
in the service of your country?
152
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,583
I hadn't thought about that.
153
00:10:01,292 --> 00:10:03,375
I just like to fight.
154
00:10:03,458 --> 00:10:06,333
From a psychiatric point of view,
155
00:10:06,417 --> 00:10:08,750
the urge to fight frequently represents
156
00:10:08,833 --> 00:10:12,458
unresolved infantile conflicts
and hostility.
157
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:15,458
I say, that's jolly well spoken.
158
00:10:15,542 --> 00:10:18,917
And if it wasn't for those unresolved
conflicts and infantile hostility,
159
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,542
there wouldn't be any need for a navy,
would there, eh?
160
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:26,667
Tell me, Robinson,
161
00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:29,250
what irritates you
more than anything else?
162
00:10:29,333 --> 00:10:31,833
Being asked a whole lot
of damn silly questions, sir.
163
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,750
And why do you want
to join the Royal Navy?
164
00:10:40,833 --> 00:10:44,042
To tell the truth, sir,
joining the Navy wasn't my idea at all.
165
00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:46,875
I tried to get out of it
but my father's very forceful.
166
00:10:46,958 --> 00:10:48,542
Strong personality and all that.
167
00:10:48,625 --> 00:10:50,125
I see by your papers
168
00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:53,250
that your father is George Dewberry MP.
169
00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:56,542
"Sink the Navy" Dewberry?
170
00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:59,958
Would you mind telling me
why the Member of Parliament
171
00:11:00,042 --> 00:11:03,708
who talks longest and loudest in the House
about the uselessness of the Navy
172
00:11:03,792 --> 00:11:05,000
wants his son to join?
173
00:11:05,083 --> 00:11:07,000
I wondered about that too, sir.
174
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,625
The nearest I can come to an answer
175
00:11:08,708 --> 00:11:11,042
is that the old man
thinks I'm useless, too.
176
00:11:11,125 --> 00:11:13,917
Do you suppose he's trying
to get back at both of us?
177
00:11:16,625 --> 00:11:21,542
The Torbay Express
will leave at 12:30 from platform one,
178
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:24,167
calling at Reading, Westbury,
179
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:27,292
Taunton, Exeter, Newton Abbott,
180
00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:31,833
Torquay, Paignton, Churston,
and Kingswear.
181
00:11:34,917 --> 00:11:37,667
Yes, well, since the Navy
has been providing idiots
182
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:39,625
with food and shelter
for hundreds of years,
183
00:11:39,708 --> 00:11:42,500
I don't suppose even you will
have any marked effect upon it.
184
00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:43,708
Oh, thank you.
185
00:11:43,792 --> 00:11:46,458
You'll look marvelous
in a uniform, darling.
186
00:11:46,542 --> 00:11:47,708
Yes, I will, won't I?
187
00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:50,917
Gold braid makes a man look
so distinguished, I always say.
188
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,208
Oh, really, Cynthia, really.
189
00:11:52,292 --> 00:11:55,625
If you don't mind, do excuse me, dear, I'll
just get something to read at the bookstore.
190
00:11:55,708 --> 00:11:58,750
- Oh, I'll put my stuff on the train.
- Alright, darling. Come back.
191
00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:22,000
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
192
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:25,833
Don't forget, avoid drafts,
strong drink and Army officers.
193
00:12:36,083 --> 00:12:38,250
Good morning,
Lieutenant Commander. Er, sir.
194
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:39,667
Ah, Cadet Dewberry.
195
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:42,708
Do you consider your behaviour, sir,
upholds the best traditions of the Navy?
196
00:12:42,792 --> 00:12:44,292
Well, hardly the best.
197
00:12:44,375 --> 00:12:46,875
After all,
one is a bit handicapped in a taxi.
198
00:12:46,958 --> 00:12:48,083
Goodbye.
199
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,833
Who was that?
200
00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:20,750
Left, right!
Left, right! Left, right!
201
00:13:33,542 --> 00:13:35,208
Squad, halt!
202
00:13:37,458 --> 00:13:38,958
Right... turn!
203
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,417
Squad, halt!
204
00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:49,000
Look up,
stand still, get your chests out,
205
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:50,500
bring your shoulders back!
206
00:13:50,583 --> 00:13:52,042
Head back!
207
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,833
Stand at ease!
208
00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:16,542
Hello, hello.
209
00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:18,167
Hey, catch!
210
00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:19,667
Steady on!
211
00:14:25,708 --> 00:14:29,458
I've gathered you all together
on your first evening
212
00:14:29,542 --> 00:14:32,958
to give you some idea of what
we intend to do with you at Dartmouth.
213
00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:35,125
We expect you to become officers
214
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,625
in a service of which
we are all very proud.
215
00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:40,708
You will learn how to be leaders,
216
00:14:41,417 --> 00:14:44,500
to make decisions, to take responsibility.
217
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:47,333
Now all this, I know,
may sound rather forbidding,
218
00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:50,917
but remember this,
if you're always sincere,
219
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,542
always do your best
according to your lights,
220
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:57,083
mean what you say
and stick to it whatever the consequences,
221
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:59,208
then there'|| always be somebody
222
00:14:59,292 --> 00:15:01,375
to put in a good word for you
at your court martial.
223
00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:05,750
Squad, slope arms!
224
00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:07,958
Squad, slope arms!
225
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:20,625
Left, right, left, right! Right, turn!
226
00:15:20,708 --> 00:15:23,250
Left, right, left, right, left!
227
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:29,750
Left, right, left, right,
left, right, left!
228
00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:34,458
- By the right!
- By the right!
229
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:38,708
Get out, you horrible creatures!
230
00:15:38,792 --> 00:15:42,000
Left, right, left, right,
left, right, left!
231
00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:46,042
Left, right, left, right, left, right...
232
00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:47,958
Having released the fore and aft pins,
233
00:15:48,042 --> 00:15:52,083
it now only remains to remove
the center pin and release the slip.
234
00:15:52,167 --> 00:15:54,208
Now, carry on, Carson,
remove the center pin.
235
00:15:57,125 --> 00:16:00,875
You seem to be paying close attention,
Mr Bowles.
236
00:16:00,958 --> 00:16:03,083
I'm sure you can release the boat.
237
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,625
Certainly, sir.
238
00:16:04,708 --> 00:16:06,333
Ow!
239
00:16:06,417 --> 00:16:07,458
Oh!
240
00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:11,083
Any of you that think you know
how to dance already can forget it.
241
00:16:11,167 --> 00:16:13,417
Won't do any of you any harm
to learn how to do it proper!
242
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,208
And I'm here to see that you do.
243
00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:17,000
Now then.
244
00:16:17,083 --> 00:16:20,417
You grasp your partner firmly
and mold to each other.
245
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,208
You treat the bird in your arms
with the greatest respect.
246
00:16:23,292 --> 00:16:25,292
And we'll have it dead graceful.
247
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:27,000
And off we go.
248
00:16:27,083 --> 00:16:30,292
See that? Nicely molded to me partner.
See that?
249
00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:32,792
Now watch it for the contra body movement.
There we are.
250
00:16:32,875 --> 00:16:35,667
Left foot forward,
right shoulder forward, got it?
251
00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:37,708
And we will not have any of this lark.
252
00:16:37,792 --> 00:16:39,417
It's distasteful.
253
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,667
Right. Now then.
254
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:43,667
You lot, you can be the men.
255
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:46,208
And you lot, you be the crump...
er, the ladies.
256
00:16:46,292 --> 00:16:49,083
Now then, class, 'shun!
257
00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:50,875
Inward face!
258
00:16:50,958 --> 00:16:54,375
Ladies, three paces forward. March!
259
00:16:56,708 --> 00:16:58,167
Bowles.
260
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:00,500
You don't have to prove it.
261
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,250
Right, take your positions.
262
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:17,875
Right, let her fly.
263
00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:28,458
Do you come here often?
264
00:17:28,542 --> 00:17:29,583
Shut up!
265
00:17:34,458 --> 00:17:35,958
Get molded.
266
00:17:41,125 --> 00:17:43,958
Dewberry, where's your lady friend?
267
00:17:44,042 --> 00:17:46,792
She's gone to the boys' room
to powder her nose.
268
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:49,417
Go and get her.
269
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:56,000
- Next man, keep it going.
- Come on!
270
00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:58,333
- Over you go!
- Come on, speed it up.
271
00:17:58,417 --> 00:17:59,917
Speed it up, come along!
272
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,417
Speed it up! Speed it up!
273
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,125
You idiot!
274
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,292
Oh, come on, keep going.
275
00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,417
Come on, keep going.
276
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:11,000
Break it up there, break it up!
277
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:14,250
Now, you've been here long enough,
Bowles,
278
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:16,750
to know that the Navy
isn't designed for fighting.
279
00:18:16,833 --> 00:18:20,208
It's an organization for filling in
reams of paper in triplicate.
280
00:18:20,292 --> 00:18:21,542
Now, just between ourselves,
281
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:23,750
I can understand how civilians
might get the impression
282
00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:25,625
that the Navy's job is to fight.
283
00:18:25,708 --> 00:18:27,708
They probably read about it
in the daily newspapers.
284
00:18:27,792 --> 00:18:29,542
We, however, know differently, don't we?
285
00:18:29,625 --> 00:18:32,750
We know that we must never believe
anything we read about the Navy.
286
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:35,458
Particularly
if it's founded on logic, right?
287
00:18:35,542 --> 00:18:37,042
- Yes, sir.
- Good.
288
00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:40,708
Left, right! Left, right!
289
00:18:40,792 --> 00:18:42,500
Left, right! Left!
290
00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:46,750
Right... turn!
291
00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:48,708
Left, right! Left, right!
292
00:18:48,792 --> 00:18:50,333
Left, right! Left!
293
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,125
As Churchill said,
294
00:18:54,208 --> 00:18:57,000
the Navy runs on three things.
295
00:18:57,083 --> 00:18:59,708
Rum, bum and baccy.
296
00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:05,708
Remember that and you'll all be Admirals.
297
00:19:06,375 --> 00:19:08,917
Provided, of course,
you know your signals.
298
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,417
Now, say one of you
was Officer of the Watch,
299
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:14,250
and your ship was out of control,
300
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:17,583
what signal would you hoist?
301
00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:19,375
Dewberry?
302
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,458
Disaster?
303
00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:25,042
If you was Officer of the Watch,
it would be disaster.
304
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,625
When a ship is out of control,
305
00:19:28,708 --> 00:19:31,292
rudder off, steering gear broke down,
306
00:19:31,375 --> 00:19:35,042
you hoist two black balls,
307
00:19:35,125 --> 00:19:37,792
and only then.
308
00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:40,167
It's not the only time.
309
00:19:41,583 --> 00:19:44,333
Are you gonna believe what you know
or what I tell you?
310
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,250
Well, if you were refueling at sea,
311
00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:49,167
you could be considered
out of control to a certain extent.
312
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:51,875
So you would hoist that signal.
313
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,500
Maybe you would. I wouldn't!
314
00:19:54,583 --> 00:19:58,083
I'm sorry, Carson, but there are limits
to being an eager beaver.
315
00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:01,625
- Do you know what rank is?
- Well, yes, sir.
316
00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:03,667
It's a grade in the service
achieved by a man
317
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:06,417
as a result
of knowledge and experience, sir.
318
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:10,333
My, my. You're young, Mr Carson,
you're very young.
319
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:14,125
Rank is the authority
to be right when you're wrong.
320
00:20:14,208 --> 00:20:16,208
Now, the same rule applies not only here
321
00:20:16,292 --> 00:20:18,917
but in the Army,
business, politics, everywhere.
322
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,458
The Navy puts gold braid on a sleeve
323
00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:24,042
to confer upon an officer the right
to make a fool of himself
324
00:20:24,125 --> 00:20:26,000
without being tripped up by his juniors.
325
00:20:26,083 --> 00:20:29,333
The road to promotion
is littered with bright young men,
326
00:20:29,417 --> 00:20:33,333
all cast aside because they failed
to keep their mouths shut.
327
00:20:33,417 --> 00:20:34,958
Hmm!
328
00:20:53,042 --> 00:20:55,375
Very nice, Bowles.
Keep at it!
329
00:21:03,875 --> 00:21:07,792
You're better, Carson.
Where the devil's Dewberry?
330
00:21:15,833 --> 00:21:18,333
So what's your class doing now then?
331
00:21:18,417 --> 00:21:21,500
Well, as a matter of fact,
we're on our initiative test.
332
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:23,625
Oh, what's that?
333
00:21:23,708 --> 00:21:26,958
Well, actually it's a question
of reaching our objective
334
00:21:27,042 --> 00:21:29,750
despite any obstacles
that might be put in the way.
335
00:21:30,458 --> 00:21:32,375
- Cadet Dewberry!
- Sir!
336
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,542
This is an initiative test,
not an assault course!
337
00:21:35,625 --> 00:21:37,917
Cadet Dewberry,
338
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,958
the exercise of logic in the Royal Navy
can often lead to disaster.
339
00:21:42,042 --> 00:21:43,875
Now here's an example.
340
00:21:43,958 --> 00:21:46,083
If I draw the normal conclusions,
341
00:21:46,167 --> 00:21:48,417
we are faced
with certain disciplinary problems
342
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,500
on the eve of your completing your course.
343
00:21:50,583 --> 00:21:53,583
If however, we throw logic to the winds,
344
00:21:53,667 --> 00:21:56,917
I can assume
that you were out on your initiative test,
345
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:00,958
lost your way in the bushes, stumbled
across a strange girl, who was also lost,
346
00:22:01,042 --> 00:22:03,000
and consoled her.
347
00:22:03,583 --> 00:22:06,625
- Try not to get lost in the future.
- Yes, sir.
348
00:22:07,833 --> 00:22:09,375
Alright, carry on.
349
00:23:25,792 --> 00:23:28,000
Present...
350
00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:29,750
arms!
351
00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:38,542
By the right, quick march!
352
00:24:11,542 --> 00:24:13,583
Come on, I'll show you our quarters
and classrooms and things.
353
00:24:13,667 --> 00:24:14,667
Lovely.
354
00:24:14,750 --> 00:24:17,333
- Well, very nice to have met you, sir.
- See you later.
355
00:24:17,417 --> 00:24:19,792
Yes, well,
you seem to have normal intelligence.
356
00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:22,708
What are you doing in this state home
for backward belligerents?
357
00:24:22,792 --> 00:24:23,792
Look at it.
358
00:24:23,875 --> 00:24:26,250
Well, I had some doubts at first, sir,
but not any more.
359
00:24:26,333 --> 00:24:28,375
Well, Dartmouth is great,
especially our Lieutenant Commander.
360
00:24:28,458 --> 00:24:29,458
You really do learn a lot, sir.
361
00:24:29,542 --> 00:24:31,833
What, in the Navy?
Fools teaching fools.
362
00:24:31,917 --> 00:24:33,792
An intelligent man
wouldn't have anything to do with it.
363
00:24:33,875 --> 00:24:36,917
Lieutenant Commander Badger says
the Navy doesn't want intelligent men.
364
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,375
Huh?
365
00:24:38,458 --> 00:24:39,750
Oh...
366
00:24:39,833 --> 00:24:43,208
Tell me now, this...
this Lieutenant Commander,
367
00:24:43,292 --> 00:24:45,750
- he's in charge of your instruction, is he?
- Yes, that's right, sir.
368
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:48,417
Seems to have very
original views about the Navy.
369
00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:50,750
He's full of ideas, sir,
about Navy discipline.
370
00:24:50,833 --> 00:24:53,375
Drinking and WRENS,
anything you want to know.
371
00:24:53,458 --> 00:24:54,500
He's great.
372
00:24:54,583 --> 00:24:56,500
Ah, I'm interested.
373
00:24:56,583 --> 00:24:58,708
Tell me what he says about these things
374
00:24:58,792 --> 00:25:01,250
and anything else that you can remember
that he's taught you.
375
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,083
Well, he's a fantastic bloke, sir.
376
00:25:03,167 --> 00:25:05,333
He says the Navy's run by idiots.
377
00:25:05,417 --> 00:25:08,250
Good heavens, sounds most enlightening.
378
00:25:08,333 --> 00:25:10,125
He says the Navy's old fashioned, sir.
379
00:25:10,208 --> 00:25:12,458
No! This gets better and better.
380
00:25:12,542 --> 00:25:13,875
I can't believe it. Tell me...
381
00:25:13,958 --> 00:25:17,917
Do you mind telling me a little more
about what he's been teaching you.
382
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,208
Well, last week, sir...
383
00:25:22,708 --> 00:25:25,250
This brainless monster we call the Navy
384
00:25:25,333 --> 00:25:27,500
stands accused out of its own mouth.
385
00:25:27,583 --> 00:25:30,375
I will quote you the words
of a man who knows.
386
00:25:30,458 --> 00:25:34,250
A man who presumes to train others
to follow in his own footsteps.
387
00:25:35,458 --> 00:25:39,333
I'm speaking of a senior instructor,
at this very moment
388
00:25:39,417 --> 00:25:43,125
subverting British youth
at the Royal Naval College at Dartmouth.
389
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,042
I don't accuse him as an individual.
390
00:25:46,125 --> 00:25:49,708
He is one of many,
all perpetuating the idiocy
391
00:25:49,792 --> 00:25:51,792
of an anachronistic service.
392
00:25:53,042 --> 00:25:55,167
I have here the statements
393
00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:58,792
of one Lieutenant Commander
Robert Badger.
394
00:25:59,792 --> 00:26:03,250
Or better known as the "Artful Bodger".
395
00:26:15,375 --> 00:26:18,083
Idiots? Halfwits?
396
00:26:18,833 --> 00:26:21,583
You looked through every fleet order?
397
00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:23,583
A man can't be shot for insubordination?
398
00:26:23,667 --> 00:26:25,000
Not in peacetime, sir.
399
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:27,042
This isn't peacetime.
400
00:26:27,125 --> 00:26:29,125
That man declared war on the Navy.
401
00:26:29,208 --> 00:26:32,958
How could you say such things
to a class of impressionable young fools?
402
00:26:33,042 --> 00:26:35,708
Well, I wasn't speaking
for publication, sir.
403
00:26:35,792 --> 00:26:38,917
After all, one way to ease youngsters
through the bib and tucker stage
404
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,000
is to trust 'em,
tell them the truth, good or bad.
405
00:26:42,083 --> 00:26:45,167
My job was to train cadets
to be first-class officers.
406
00:26:45,250 --> 00:26:47,000
I think these cadets will be.
407
00:26:47,083 --> 00:26:49,125
Oh, I realise
they've still got a lot to learn
408
00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:52,917
about tact and diplomacy,
but time will take care of that.
409
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,292
I feel this is hardly pertinent.
410
00:26:55,375 --> 00:26:58,625
The Admiralty isn't interested
in the personalities involved,
411
00:26:58,708 --> 00:27:01,667
the important thing is to save
the First Lord embarrassment.
412
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:04,958
The important thing is how soon
can we convene a court martial!
413
00:27:05,042 --> 00:27:07,625
Have you thought about the newspapers?
414
00:27:08,625 --> 00:27:10,125
Thought of them?
415
00:27:10,792 --> 00:27:14,750
Since he opened his mouth, I approach
them only with long-handled tongs!
416
00:27:15,542 --> 00:27:19,042
I may do my future reading
in an asbestos suit.
417
00:27:19,125 --> 00:27:20,792
You may need it.
418
00:27:20,875 --> 00:27:24,583
The press are going to make some sizzling
comments if the Bodger is charged.
419
00:27:25,417 --> 00:27:27,042
If'?!
420
00:27:27,125 --> 00:27:28,875
After what he's done to the Navy?
421
00:27:28,958 --> 00:27:30,958
I can see the headlines now.
422
00:27:31,875 --> 00:27:34,250
"Court martial or inquisition?
423
00:27:34,333 --> 00:27:37,750
Is the Navy making
an honest man a scape goat?"
424
00:27:37,833 --> 00:27:41,042
The First Lord certainly wouldn't
care to stir up the press any more.
425
00:27:41,708 --> 00:27:44,083
I think we can agree
that Lieutenant Commander Badger
426
00:27:44,167 --> 00:27:46,125
must be removed from Dartmouth.
427
00:27:46,208 --> 00:27:49,667
There can't be any further question
of his subverting cadets.
428
00:27:51,667 --> 00:27:54,083
- Good afternoon, gentlemen.
- Good afternoon.
429
00:27:58,042 --> 00:27:59,417
Get rid of him!
430
00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:03,250
Post him somewhere.
431
00:28:04,292 --> 00:28:05,333
Anywhere.
432
00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:08,000
Yes, sir. Of course, sir.
Where, sir?
433
00:28:10,042 --> 00:28:12,167
As far from me as possible.
434
00:28:12,250 --> 00:28:15,583
Preferably where there's a chance
of him committing a hanging of fence.
435
00:28:26,417 --> 00:28:29,250
I'm afraid I made a bit
of a botch of things this time, sir.
436
00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:31,667
I wouldn't say you've given
your career a leg up.
437
00:28:31,750 --> 00:28:34,792
If only we could think of an appointment
where you could be hidden away
438
00:28:34,875 --> 00:28:36,542
and stay out of trouble.
439
00:28:36,625 --> 00:28:39,333
And out of sight
of Admiral Filmer's jaundiced eye.
440
00:28:41,333 --> 00:28:44,167
Couldn't I be a naval attache'
somewhere, sir?
441
00:28:44,250 --> 00:28:45,583
America?
442
00:28:46,250 --> 00:28:47,833
America?
443
00:28:47,917 --> 00:28:49,458
That rings a bell.
444
00:28:50,458 --> 00:28:52,875
- Bodger, you're a genius!
- Why, sir?
445
00:28:52,958 --> 00:28:55,583
What would you say to a job
with the American 5th Fleet?
446
00:28:55,667 --> 00:28:57,875
- That's in the Mediterranean.
- Near France.
447
00:28:57,958 --> 00:29:01,083
The American Admiral's asking
for British officers for liaison duties.
448
00:29:01,667 --> 00:29:03,875
Well, that sounds pretty terrific to me.
449
00:29:03,958 --> 00:29:05,500
I think I can fix that.
450
00:29:05,583 --> 00:29:07,667
Admiral Filmer will do anything I suggest.
451
00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:10,083
His office deal with all appointments.
452
00:29:10,167 --> 00:29:11,500
Well, there's just one thing though, sir.
453
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:15,083
I would appreciate your keeping an eye
on Carson, Bowles and Dewberry.
454
00:29:15,167 --> 00:29:18,458
I think with a bit more time and training
they'll make good officers.
455
00:29:18,542 --> 00:29:21,083
If those three had been
with Nelson at Trafalgar,
456
00:29:21,167 --> 00:29:24,125
England would be a French colony today.
457
00:29:24,208 --> 00:29:26,292
I think you're well rid of them.
458
00:29:26,375 --> 00:29:28,542
It's about time they learned
to stand on their own feet.
459
00:29:28,625 --> 00:29:30,583
They've been round my neck long enough.
460
00:29:30,667 --> 00:29:33,875
They're due to leave for their sea time
as midshipmen soon.
461
00:29:33,958 --> 00:29:36,917
I'll ask Admiral Filmer to draft them
to a commanding officer
462
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,250
who'll really give them some discipline.
463
00:29:39,333 --> 00:29:41,250
Good luck to him, whoever he is.
464
00:29:41,333 --> 00:29:43,000
He has my sympathy-
465
00:30:17,583 --> 00:30:19,042
Well, for better or for worse,
466
00:30:19,125 --> 00:30:20,667
we're all still in the Navy.
467
00:30:20,750 --> 00:30:21,833
American this time,
468
00:30:21,917 --> 00:30:25,375
and if you've ever been on your best
behaviour, now's the time.
469
00:30:26,417 --> 00:30:29,417
Oh, for heaven's sake, Carson,
pull yourself together, man.
470
00:30:29,500 --> 00:30:31,875
- You're still on dry land.
- I'm terribly sorry, sir.
471
00:30:31,958 --> 00:30:33,750
I'll try not to let you down.
472
00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:36,417
It's just the thought of the crossing
from here to the ship, sir.
473
00:30:39,083 --> 00:30:41,583
We don't appear to have any ship to join.
474
00:30:41,667 --> 00:30:44,292
The Admiral must fly his flag
in an aircraft carrier.
475
00:30:44,375 --> 00:30:45,625
It's only a cruiser out there.
476
00:30:46,625 --> 00:30:50,375
Here, hang onto this, Bowles.
I'll see if I can find out something.
477
00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:55,958
Hello, hello!
478
00:30:57,583 --> 00:30:59,417
Duty calls.
479
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:11,625
- I'll need you at 1600.
- Very well, sir.
480
00:31:14,917 --> 00:31:16,792
Oh! So sorry, old boy.
481
00:31:20,333 --> 00:31:21,833
Oh, good morning.
482
00:31:21,917 --> 00:31:25,250
I wonder if you can help me.
ls there a carrier due in today?
483
00:31:25,333 --> 00:31:28,625
You must be mistaken, sir,
carriers never come in here.
484
00:31:28,708 --> 00:31:31,125
- They always go to Cannes.
- Really?
485
00:31:31,208 --> 00:31:33,042
Thank you.
486
00:31:33,125 --> 00:31:36,208
Hmm. Typical SANFU.
487
00:31:36,292 --> 00:31:38,208
Self-Adjusting Navy Foul-Up.
488
00:31:38,292 --> 00:31:41,208
I can see we're going to feel
very much at home amongst this lot.
489
00:31:41,292 --> 00:31:44,917
Always work on the law of averages,
sometimes known as the Bodger theory.
490
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,542
For every bright officer,
there are at least four idiots.
491
00:31:48,625 --> 00:31:51,125
The man who assigned us
to that carrier is an idiot.
492
00:31:51,833 --> 00:31:55,833
Let's see.
Order signed by an Admiral Ryan.
493
00:31:55,917 --> 00:31:57,875
- You.
- I beg your pardon.
494
00:31:57,958 --> 00:32:00,958
- Lieutenant Commander Badger?
- Excuse me.
495
00:32:02,125 --> 00:32:03,583
Must be a pal of his.
496
00:32:03,667 --> 00:32:05,875
- Can I help you?
- I doubt it.
497
00:32:05,958 --> 00:32:08,250
I've just put the name
and the face together.
498
00:32:08,333 --> 00:32:11,125
You're the man who thinks
that navies are run by idiots.
499
00:32:11,208 --> 00:32:13,458
A-ha, I see my fame has spread.
500
00:32:15,042 --> 00:32:18,042
- I don't think we've met.
- Report aboard my flagship immediately.
501
00:32:18,125 --> 00:32:20,875
Your flagship? That cruiser?
502
00:32:22,083 --> 00:32:26,292
I feel the question is unnecessary, sir,
but may I ask who you are?
503
00:32:26,375 --> 00:32:28,750
Just the idiot. I'm Admiral Ryan.
504
00:32:29,333 --> 00:32:31,958
I thought so, sir.
The question was unnecessary.
505
00:32:47,958 --> 00:32:51,750
Excuse me, sir, but isn't
the Admiral known as "Tiger Ryan"?
506
00:32:51,833 --> 00:32:54,625
Tact, Bowles, was never
one of your strong points.
507
00:32:54,708 --> 00:32:56,542
- Yes, sir.
- Where the devil's Dewberry?
508
00:32:58,083 --> 00:33:01,250
- No.
- Oh, you really should live a bit.
509
00:33:01,333 --> 00:33:03,500
Now, if you'll just close your eyes,
dear girl,
510
00:33:03,583 --> 00:33:05,208
and let me put my arm round you,
511
00:33:05,292 --> 00:33:07,792
you'll hear beautiful music
and feel twiggly all over.
512
00:33:07,875 --> 00:33:10,292
Well, I'll keep my eyes open, thank you,
513
00:33:10,375 --> 00:33:13,875
until I find the right man
in the right place, at the right time.
514
00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:15,500
And as far as feeling twiggly...
515
00:33:15,583 --> 00:33:17,375
Well, look, give yourself a chance
to get to know me.
516
00:33:17,458 --> 00:33:19,292
- Dewberry?
- Sir.
517
00:33:19,375 --> 00:33:22,333
I know you
and I don't feel twiggly all over.
518
00:33:23,167 --> 00:33:25,625
Oh, well, he wasn't
causing me any trouble.
519
00:33:25,708 --> 00:33:28,958
I'm sure. You're wanted on board
immediately, at the double.
520
00:33:29,042 --> 00:33:30,333
Aye-aye, sir.
521
00:33:34,042 --> 00:33:36,750
Good morning.
Lieutenant Commander Badger.
522
00:33:36,833 --> 00:33:38,542
Lieutenant Carol Blair.
523
00:33:38,625 --> 00:33:41,292
I read about you,
you're something of a celebrity,
524
00:33:41,375 --> 00:33:43,792
- in a negative sort of way.
- Charming.
525
00:33:43,875 --> 00:33:46,625
And, from what I've read,
you might not be considered
526
00:33:46,708 --> 00:33:48,292
the Navy's best friend.
527
00:33:48,375 --> 00:33:51,708
Foreign propaganda. You mustn't ever
believe all that you read in the papers.
528
00:33:51,792 --> 00:33:52,917
Oh, I don't.
529
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,000
I believe in finding out
everything for myself.
530
00:33:55,083 --> 00:33:56,250
So do I.
531
00:33:56,333 --> 00:34:00,375
And that, of course, brings me to you.
Who exactly is Lieutenant Carol Blair?
532
00:34:00,458 --> 00:34:04,958
I've been taught never to reveal any more
than my name, rank and number.
533
00:34:06,375 --> 00:34:08,500
But I am in the phone book.
534
00:34:08,583 --> 00:34:11,708
If you'd like to call me up sometime
when you're in Youngstown, Ohio.
535
00:34:11,792 --> 00:34:12,792
Delighted.
536
00:34:12,875 --> 00:34:15,958
And if you're not at home, what's
the next most likely place to find you?
537
00:34:16,042 --> 00:34:17,208
I'm a nurse.
538
00:34:17,292 --> 00:34:20,583
I spend most of my time in the
British-American hospital, right up there.
539
00:34:20,667 --> 00:34:21,708
Uh-huh.
540
00:34:21,792 --> 00:34:25,750
If you develop a rare disease,
do drop in.
541
00:34:25,833 --> 00:34:27,458
I might just do that.
542
00:34:27,542 --> 00:34:30,250
The male members of my family
are prone to heart murmurs.
543
00:34:58,250 --> 00:35:00,625
Look out, guys,
here comes the monster.
544
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:02,958
Mind your legs!
545
00:35:18,667 --> 00:35:21,417
Words going round that some of you
have your noses out of joint
546
00:35:21,500 --> 00:35:23,458
over the British officers joining us.
547
00:35:23,542 --> 00:35:26,500
Really, sir?
Well, I can't imagine why.
548
00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:29,667
Do you think it's because
most of them are kind of snobbish?
549
00:35:29,750 --> 00:35:32,667
And this bunch thinks that
all navies are washouts?
550
00:35:32,750 --> 00:35:35,042
That's very generous of you, Garrett.
551
00:35:35,125 --> 00:35:37,625
There's nothing like being fair, is there?
552
00:35:37,708 --> 00:35:41,417
Providing it doesn't interfere with
some damn fool prejudice you hold.
553
00:36:00,542 --> 00:36:03,375
Lieutenant Commander Badger
reporting for duty as ordered, sir.
554
00:36:03,458 --> 00:36:05,292
I'm Commander Spelling, Executive Officer.
555
00:36:05,375 --> 00:36:07,125
- Welcome aboard.
- Thank you, Commander.
556
00:36:08,167 --> 00:36:10,250
Midshipman Dewberry.
557
00:36:10,333 --> 00:36:11,958
Midshipman Carson, sir.
558
00:36:12,042 --> 00:36:13,708
Midshipman Bowles.
559
00:36:15,542 --> 00:36:17,083
Captain Hurley, sir.
560
00:36:17,167 --> 00:36:19,542
This is Lieutenant Commander Badger.
561
00:36:19,625 --> 00:36:21,500
- Glad to have you aboard.
- Thank you, sir.
562
00:36:21,583 --> 00:36:24,125
Commander, will you take these gentlemen
to the ward room for some coffee?
563
00:36:24,208 --> 00:36:25,542
Of course, sir.
Follow me, gentlemen.
564
00:36:30,917 --> 00:36:33,625
First of all, I'll show you
to your quarters, Mr Badger.
565
00:36:33,708 --> 00:36:36,542
- Thank you, sir.
- And then the Admiral wants to see you.
566
00:36:49,750 --> 00:36:51,792
I guess we can use this table.
567
00:36:57,958 --> 00:37:00,208
Let's see, that'|| be six coffees,
steward.
568
00:37:01,417 --> 00:37:02,750
- Welcome aboard.
- Oh, thank you.
569
00:37:02,833 --> 00:37:03,875
- So you're, er...
- Dewberry.
570
00:37:03,958 --> 00:37:04,958
- You're, er...
- John Dewberry.
571
00:37:05,042 --> 00:37:07,125
- You're English.
- Oh, yes. Yes, and you're...
572
00:37:07,208 --> 00:37:09,375
- American, yes. Cigarette?
- Oh, thank you.
573
00:37:10,875 --> 00:37:12,458
Garrett.
574
00:37:12,542 --> 00:37:15,542
- Oh, haven't had one of those before.
- No, that's my name.
575
00:37:15,625 --> 00:37:17,000
Oh, hello.
576
00:37:24,208 --> 00:37:25,333
Albert!
577
00:37:28,083 --> 00:37:29,458
Get off! Get him off!
578
00:37:29,542 --> 00:37:32,583
I say, I'm good with dogs.
Good dog. I'll handle this.
579
00:37:32,667 --> 00:37:34,458
Ow! Get off!
580
00:37:40,333 --> 00:37:41,500
Come in.
581
00:37:43,500 --> 00:37:46,417
Well, Albert!
Who have you been playing with?
582
00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:49,208
Huh? Good old boy. Yeah.
583
00:37:49,708 --> 00:37:52,167
Lieutenant Commander Badger
at your request, Admiral.
584
00:37:52,250 --> 00:37:53,667
Thank you.
585
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,792
- Sit down.
- Thank you, sir.
586
00:38:04,167 --> 00:38:05,625
According to the manual,
587
00:38:05,708 --> 00:38:08,625
any man coming aboard
a new ship starts fresh.
588
00:38:09,417 --> 00:38:13,375
So, I'm willing to listen
to any excuse or explanation
589
00:38:13,458 --> 00:38:16,708
for your widely publicized
comments about the Navy.
590
00:38:16,792 --> 00:38:18,792
I have no excuse or explanation, sir.
591
00:38:18,875 --> 00:38:20,333
Oh.
592
00:38:20,417 --> 00:38:21,958
That's a mark in your favour.
593
00:38:22,042 --> 00:38:23,208
Thank you, sir.
594
00:38:23,292 --> 00:38:24,708
Let's understand each other.
595
00:38:25,583 --> 00:38:27,833
You're starting with two strikes
against you.
596
00:38:28,542 --> 00:38:32,417
If you and those three youngsters
do your jobs, you'll find me reasonable.
597
00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:36,250
If any of you steps out of line
just once, you're all through.
598
00:38:36,333 --> 00:38:39,125
- I understand, sir.
- Just so that's clear.
599
00:38:46,875 --> 00:38:49,458
Oh, don't worry about Albert,
he wouldn't hurt a fly.
600
00:38:50,500 --> 00:38:52,542
Now, as to your assignments,
601
00:38:53,958 --> 00:38:57,208
you will assist Spelling in his duties
as Executive Officer.
602
00:38:57,292 --> 00:38:59,000
Thank you, sir, I'd be delighted.
603
00:38:59,083 --> 00:39:02,375
This Dewberry seems like an idiot.
He probably is.
604
00:39:02,458 --> 00:39:04,542
He's to be Assistant
Entertainments Officer.
605
00:39:04,625 --> 00:39:06,292
Er, beg your pardon, sir.
606
00:39:06,375 --> 00:39:09,750
I realise, of course, that providing
recreation and shows
607
00:39:09,833 --> 00:39:11,125
for the ship's company is important,
608
00:39:11,208 --> 00:39:14,417
but Dewberry is sometimes...
609
00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:16,583
a bit overenthusiastic in...
610
00:39:16,667 --> 00:39:18,167
in certain areas.
611
00:39:18,250 --> 00:39:20,917
He'd be excellent though
in Gunnery or Supply.
612
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,792
- Your criticism is noted.
- Thank you, sir.
613
00:39:23,875 --> 00:39:25,833
And overruled.
614
00:39:25,917 --> 00:39:27,125
Aye-aye, sir.
615
00:39:27,208 --> 00:39:30,167
Bowles will deal with
the athletic programme.
616
00:39:30,250 --> 00:39:34,292
May I suggest, sir, that although
Mr Bowles is a first-class athlete,
617
00:39:34,375 --> 00:39:38,333
he is learning to control
a hair trigger temper.
618
00:39:38,417 --> 00:39:40,958
Mr Badger, I've not asked
for your advice in this matter.
619
00:39:41,042 --> 00:39:42,333
No, sir.
620
00:39:42,417 --> 00:39:45,917
- Carson will be Mail Officer.
- Ah, thank you, sir.
621
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,542
He can take the launch back
and forth to shore,
622
00:39:48,625 --> 00:39:51,125
for mail messages and so forth.
623
00:39:51,208 --> 00:39:52,750
Would you like to make a comment?
624
00:39:53,333 --> 00:39:54,333
No, sir.
625
00:39:54,417 --> 00:39:57,208
Now, Mister, you're smart enough to know
that I checked the records
626
00:39:57,292 --> 00:39:58,583
on you and those three.
627
00:39:58,667 --> 00:40:02,333
Do you think it's accidental that
I've given them these particular jobs?
628
00:40:02,417 --> 00:40:04,500
I realise your choice was deliberate.
629
00:40:04,583 --> 00:40:08,042
You undertook to teach these
three men to be naval officers.
630
00:40:08,125 --> 00:40:09,875
Now, maybe you succeeded.
631
00:40:09,958 --> 00:40:12,667
But maybe they haven't got what it takes.
632
00:40:12,750 --> 00:40:16,958
I intend to find out now, while this ship
is anchored in a peaceful bay.
633
00:40:17,042 --> 00:40:18,208
If there's an emergency,
634
00:40:18,292 --> 00:40:20,292
there won't be any opportunity
635
00:40:20,375 --> 00:40:23,667
to assign officers
according to specialized talents.
636
00:40:23,750 --> 00:40:26,542
They've got to pull their weight
no matter where they're put.
637
00:40:26,625 --> 00:40:27,750
Do you read me?
638
00:40:28,708 --> 00:40:29,958
I do, sir.
639
00:40:30,667 --> 00:40:32,667
- That'|| be all.
- Thank you, sir.
640
00:41:26,500 --> 00:41:27,750
Argh!
641
00:41:29,667 --> 00:41:31,167
Argh!
642
00:41:49,625 --> 00:41:52,167
Midshipman Carson, sir,
first charge,
643
00:41:52,250 --> 00:41:53,958
did on the 3rd of June commit an act
644
00:41:54,042 --> 00:41:56,208
prejudicial to good order
and naval discipline,
645
00:41:56,292 --> 00:41:59,708
in that he did improperly paint
the rectum of one male dog,
646
00:41:59,792 --> 00:42:02,125
the property of Vice Admiral Ryan.
647
00:42:02,208 --> 00:42:04,792
Second charge, did,
on the 3rd of June,
648
00:42:04,875 --> 00:42:08,417
improperly use one can
of government-issue paint.
649
00:42:10,042 --> 00:42:14,250
You are an incompetent,
dangerous, rock-headed fool!
650
00:42:14,333 --> 00:42:15,750
Who me, sir?
651
00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:17,250
I mean, yes, sir.
652
00:42:17,333 --> 00:42:18,500
Have you anything to say?
653
00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:22,250
No, sir, only that it was
purely self-defense.
654
00:42:22,333 --> 00:42:23,958
Self-defense?
655
00:42:24,042 --> 00:42:26,292
- Well, the dog attacked me, sir.
- What?!
656
00:42:26,375 --> 00:42:27,667
Arse first!
657
00:42:32,667 --> 00:42:35,542
I feel sure
the Admiral recognizes the right
658
00:42:35,625 --> 00:42:38,458
of Midshipman Carson
to protect himself against attack.
659
00:42:38,542 --> 00:42:40,542
By him?
660
00:42:40,625 --> 00:42:42,500
By this sweet, loveable puppy?
661
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:48,333
I can produce evidence, sir,
that Mr Carson was in fact in danger.
662
00:42:48,417 --> 00:42:52,417
Huh? Just a typical example
of the well-known British humor.
663
00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:56,083
Oh. I can assure you, sir,
that next to Queen and country,
664
00:42:56,167 --> 00:42:59,417
we British hold small animals most sacred.
665
00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:02,417
But, Mr Badger, I know Albert,
666
00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:04,417
he wouldn't hurt a fly.
667
00:43:04,500 --> 00:43:07,917
You know best, sir.
If the dog is always gentle,
668
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,958
then Carson must be guilty.
669
00:43:10,042 --> 00:43:11,792
Obviously.
670
00:43:12,375 --> 00:43:14,125
Mr Carson,
671
00:43:14,208 --> 00:43:16,792
in my time I have dealt
with many despicable...
672
00:43:16,875 --> 00:43:19,500
Albert! No!
673
00:43:19,583 --> 00:43:20,833
Now...
674
00:43:23,750 --> 00:43:25,167
Stop that!
675
00:43:28,333 --> 00:43:32,583
Albert, down.
Down, you monster, before I...
676
00:43:34,375 --> 00:43:35,583
Down.
677
00:43:49,542 --> 00:43:53,292
Any old pills, bandages, horse liniment?
678
00:43:53,375 --> 00:43:56,833
We received a memo that you were
coming in for an examination, Commander.
679
00:43:56,917 --> 00:43:58,292
Now, that's a strange thing, nurse,
680
00:43:58,375 --> 00:44:01,125
because just as soon as I found out
that you were in this department,
681
00:44:01,208 --> 00:44:02,750
I began to develop peculiar symptoms.
682
00:44:03,333 --> 00:44:05,250
Nothing trivial, I hope.
683
00:44:05,333 --> 00:44:07,792
Why don't you sit down?
The doctor will see you in a moment.
684
00:44:07,875 --> 00:44:10,667
Well, I wouldn't dream of rushing him.
685
00:44:10,750 --> 00:44:12,792
Now, Lieutenant Carol Blair,
686
00:44:12,875 --> 00:44:14,833
aren't you going to take
my temperature or something?
687
00:44:15,708 --> 00:44:17,833
Anything to keep you quiet.
688
00:44:18,708 --> 00:44:20,792
I don't call this very friendly treatment.
689
00:44:20,875 --> 00:44:23,208
Well, you see, we always
try to impress our patients
690
00:44:23,292 --> 00:44:25,875
with an impersonal
efficiency during surgery hours.
691
00:44:25,958 --> 00:44:26,958
Oh.
692
00:44:28,625 --> 00:44:30,792
- How do you feel?
- Very impressed.
693
00:44:30,875 --> 00:44:33,292
- But I could be... more impressed.
- Really?
694
00:44:33,375 --> 00:44:37,625
Well, you see, when an attractive girl
gets, shall we say, personal,
695
00:44:37,708 --> 00:44:40,417
I always list ten degrees to port
at the first smile.
696
00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:43,625
Mm. Well, at least
your temperature is normal.
697
00:44:43,708 --> 00:44:44,750
I'm surprised.
698
00:44:44,833 --> 00:44:46,792
I'd better take a medical history.
699
00:44:46,875 --> 00:44:49,542
We'll start at the beginning, shall we?
Now, let's see.
700
00:44:49,625 --> 00:44:52,583
When I was born,
my parents were called Mum and Dad
701
00:44:52,667 --> 00:44:54,583
and were considerably older than I was.
702
00:44:54,667 --> 00:44:56,042
Ah, coffee.
703
00:44:56,125 --> 00:44:58,667
You really are quite impossible.
704
00:44:58,750 --> 00:45:02,167
We always try to impress nurses
with our personal impossibility
705
00:45:02,250 --> 00:45:03,792
during surgery hours.
706
00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:05,458
How do you feel?
707
00:45:05,542 --> 00:45:07,625
Quite unimpressed.
708
00:45:07,708 --> 00:45:10,417
Now, would you be kind enough
to take off your jacket, please?
709
00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:11,583
Delighted.
710
00:45:23,125 --> 00:45:24,667
Would you sit here, please?
711
00:45:26,792 --> 00:45:29,750
I say, what beautiful hands.
712
00:45:29,833 --> 00:45:32,542
You're not expecting a normal reading
on that thing, are you?
713
00:45:32,625 --> 00:45:34,375
You made the appointment.
714
00:45:34,458 --> 00:45:37,250
I have to get
the preliminary report for the doctor.
715
00:45:37,333 --> 00:45:38,958
Well, I'm feeling much better now.
716
00:45:39,042 --> 00:45:40,917
I still have to make my report.
717
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,458
Well, couldn't you make your report
next Friday evening,
718
00:45:43,542 --> 00:45:45,583
to me, personally,
on board the flagship?
719
00:45:45,667 --> 00:45:46,667
Hmm?
720
00:45:47,542 --> 00:45:51,125
I say, couldn't you make your report
to me personally on board the...
721
00:45:51,208 --> 00:45:52,792
is that an invitation?
722
00:45:52,875 --> 00:45:54,625
Strictly in the interest of science.
723
00:45:54,708 --> 00:45:57,292
One of my chaps is in charge
of entertainment on board.
724
00:45:57,375 --> 00:45:58,667
It starts at eight o'clock.
725
00:45:58,750 --> 00:46:00,667
Can you manage it?
726
00:46:00,750 --> 00:46:02,792
Strictly in the interests of science.
727
00:46:02,875 --> 00:46:04,250
How perfectly delightful.
728
00:46:04,333 --> 00:46:07,708
In that case, it's not necessary
for me to take up the doctor's time.
729
00:46:07,792 --> 00:46:10,917
Well, that's nonsense, he's looking
forward to meeting you. He's British.
730
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:12,667
Oh, believe me, I'm cured.
731
00:46:14,208 --> 00:46:15,875
I think he's ready to see you now.
732
00:46:17,917 --> 00:46:19,625
Oh, Lieutenant Commander Badger?
733
00:46:22,375 --> 00:46:23,500
I can see you now.
734
00:46:26,917 --> 00:46:28,500
Sorry I made you wait so long.
735
00:46:28,583 --> 00:46:30,625
Will you come in?
736
00:46:48,208 --> 00:46:49,917
- Hello, Commander.
- Good evening.
737
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:51,208
Ah, Dewberry.
738
00:46:52,875 --> 00:46:55,500
A good naval officer should always
encourage his men
739
00:46:55,583 --> 00:46:57,292
when their performance
has been outstanding.
740
00:46:57,375 --> 00:46:59,292
I must offer you my congratulations.
741
00:46:59,375 --> 00:47:00,542
Oh, thank you, sir.
742
00:47:00,625 --> 00:47:03,000
I didn't know you'd heard what
I've laid on for tonight's show.
743
00:47:03,083 --> 00:47:04,167
I haven't.
744
00:47:04,250 --> 00:47:06,125
It's just that I'm considerably
cheered by the fact
745
00:47:06,208 --> 00:47:08,500
that a whole week has
passed without a new crisis.
746
00:47:08,583 --> 00:47:10,292
Well done.
747
00:47:10,375 --> 00:47:12,333
Oh, thank you, sir.
748
00:47:12,417 --> 00:47:14,375
I say, I wonder if the Americans
give medals
749
00:47:14,458 --> 00:47:16,458
for outstanding performance
as an Entertainments Officer.
750
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,708
I don't see why not,
they give them for everything else...
751
00:47:18,792 --> 00:47:20,000
Admiral.
752
00:47:20,083 --> 00:47:22,833
- As you were.
- Launch coming along side, sir.
753
00:47:22,917 --> 00:47:25,625
That's a visiting
Consul General and his wife.
754
00:47:25,708 --> 00:47:28,792
They're coming aboard tonight
as guests of the American Navy.
755
00:47:28,875 --> 00:47:32,833
Naturally, I am very anxious
that we impress them
756
00:47:32,917 --> 00:47:35,458
with the efficiency
and the dignity of this ship.
757
00:47:50,500 --> 00:47:52,500
We're delighted to have you aboard.
758
00:47:52,583 --> 00:47:54,417
Happy to anybody, no.
759
00:47:56,083 --> 00:47:58,667
My wife talks North American any much?
760
00:47:58,750 --> 00:48:02,083
She think too it most high honorable
of American men and boats.
761
00:48:02,167 --> 00:48:03,208
Welcome.
762
00:48:04,292 --> 00:48:06,833
Sure. Uh, yes, indeed.
763
00:48:06,917 --> 00:48:08,417
Uh, won't you step this way?
764
00:48:16,208 --> 00:48:19,542
And very happy to you.
765
00:48:22,542 --> 00:48:24,458
Well, good luck with the show, John.
766
00:48:24,542 --> 00:48:26,583
It's about time one of us did
something to impress the Bodger.
767
00:48:26,667 --> 00:48:27,875
Well, he'll be impressed alright.
768
00:48:27,958 --> 00:48:30,417
This is one show that would
go down very well with any navy.
769
00:48:30,500 --> 00:48:31,917
Well, I hope you're right.
770
00:48:33,917 --> 00:48:35,500
Hope you've got a good show
for us, Dewberry.
771
00:48:35,583 --> 00:48:38,292
- I've done my best, sir.
- You'd better. We'll be the judge of that.
772
00:48:38,375 --> 00:48:40,250
You see,
773
00:48:40,333 --> 00:48:43,458
these shows are designed to provide
wholesome entertainment
774
00:48:43,542 --> 00:48:47,583
for the men of our fleet,
who work hard at skilled, dangerous jobs.
775
00:48:47,667 --> 00:48:48,958
This show dangerous?
776
00:48:51,167 --> 00:48:54,292
- We go now.
- Oh! Please, wait. I...
777
00:48:54,375 --> 00:48:55,583
Sit down, please.
778
00:48:55,667 --> 00:48:57,917
I didn't make myself clear, no.
779
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,417
I meant, the men are a danger some...
780
00:49:00,500 --> 00:49:03,250
I mean, it's perfectly harmless,
it's perfectly safe.
781
00:49:03,333 --> 00:49:06,000
Suitable for a child of three.
782
00:49:06,083 --> 00:49:08,208
Have me three Childs too.
783
00:49:08,292 --> 00:49:10,125
Happy you Childs.
784
00:49:10,208 --> 00:49:11,792
Yeah, er...
785
00:49:44,125 --> 00:49:45,667
♪ Take it from me ♪
786
00:49:45,750 --> 00:49:47,375
♪ A girl is a creature ♪
787
00:49:47,458 --> 00:49:53,542
♪ Whose principal features
are shyness and modesty ♪
788
00:49:53,625 --> 00:49:55,792
♪ Take it from me ♪
789
00:49:58,125 --> 00:50:01,542
♪ Take it from me
A girl of today is ♪
790
00:50:01,625 --> 00:50:06,583
♪ Well, how shall I say it?
As good as she needs to be ♪
791
00:50:07,875 --> 00:50:11,292
♪ Take it from me ♪
792
00:50:12,167 --> 00:50:16,500
♪ I see me as the latest model in... ♪
793
00:50:16,583 --> 00:50:18,833
Popular act, isn't it?
794
00:50:18,917 --> 00:50:20,417
Not in all quarters.
795
00:50:20,500 --> 00:50:26,875
♪ You may not agree
But what you can't see can't hurt you A“
796
00:50:26,958 --> 00:50:30,458
♪ Take it from me
The moral of this is ♪
797
00:50:30,542 --> 00:50:32,208
♪ The modern young miss is ♪
798
00:50:32,292 --> 00:50:37,375
♪ A packet of purity ♪
799
00:50:37,458 --> 00:50:41,458
♪ And if you believe I mean that ♪
800
00:50:41,542 --> 00:50:45,500
♪ Seriously ♪
801
00:50:45,583 --> 00:50:47,042
Zaza!
802
00:50:47,125 --> 00:50:50,667
♪ You just don't know a girl is ♪
803
00:50:50,750 --> 00:50:55,000
♪ Take it from me ♪
804
00:51:02,667 --> 00:51:05,042
♪ Take it from me ♪
805
00:51:05,125 --> 00:51:09,958
IA girl is a creature
Whose principal features ♪
806
00:51:10,042 --> 00:51:14,583
♪ Are just what they seem to be ♪
807
00:51:15,250 --> 00:51:16,792
Bodger, Cherie!
808
00:51:16,875 --> 00:51:18,875
♪ Take it from me ♪
809
00:51:18,958 --> 00:51:20,667
Say for Childs? How old Childs?
810
00:51:20,750 --> 00:51:23,125
I'm very sorry, there's been a mistake.
811
00:51:23,208 --> 00:51:28,083
♪ Take it from me
The girl of today is ♪
812
00:51:28,167 --> 00:51:30,667
♪ Well, how shall I say it? ♪
813
00:51:30,750 --> 00:51:35,042
♪ As bad as she needs to be ♪
814
00:51:35,125 --> 00:51:38,167
You are in the South of France
and do not come to see my act?
815
00:51:38,250 --> 00:51:40,667
- An old school chum.
- The memory lingers on.
816
00:51:40,750 --> 00:51:42,625
It has been ages.
817
00:51:44,375 --> 00:51:46,458
♪ Men see me ♪
818
00:51:46,542 --> 00:51:53,542
♪ As a great big bundle of beauty ♪
819
00:51:53,625 --> 00:51:56,917
♪ I'm paid to please ♪
820
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:03,417
♪ So all I'm doing is my duty ♪
821
00:52:06,667 --> 00:52:09,750
Collette, my darling,
you're as lovely as ever but the show...
822
00:52:09,833 --> 00:52:11,458
Why couldn't you have kept
your clothes on?
823
00:52:11,542 --> 00:52:14,208
But why? They liked. Look!
824
00:52:14,292 --> 00:52:16,333
I am looking.
825
00:52:19,167 --> 00:52:21,667
Is this an American ship
or a burlesque theater?
826
00:52:21,750 --> 00:52:24,458
- I'm sure it's an American ship, sir.
- Who's responsible for this?
827
00:52:24,542 --> 00:52:26,333
Midshipman Dewberry, sir.
828
00:52:29,125 --> 00:52:33,333
Unfortunately, not all senior officers
appreciate art, particularly Admirals.
829
00:52:33,417 --> 00:52:36,042
Him? That's Poopsie!
He loves my act.
830
00:52:36,125 --> 00:52:39,292
He was at my show last week
in the front row. I go and kiss him.
831
00:52:45,292 --> 00:52:47,333
Admiral Ryan? Poopsie?
832
00:52:47,417 --> 00:52:50,042
Yeah, Poopsie Ryan. I go kiss him.
833
00:52:50,125 --> 00:52:52,417
Not yet, Collette.
For my sake, please, not yet.
834
00:52:52,500 --> 00:52:53,583
Okay, Cherie.
835
00:52:53,667 --> 00:52:55,292
Poopsie?
836
00:52:57,583 --> 00:53:00,667
- Back in a minute.
- Oh, don't let me spoil your class reunion.
837
00:53:03,917 --> 00:53:08,958
♪ Take it from me
A trip to a strip joint ♪
838
00:53:09,042 --> 00:53:11,917
♪ A week at the it joint ♪
839
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:16,583
♪ To study anatomy ♪
840
00:53:19,042 --> 00:53:23,875
♪ We're sure your enquiring minds
are the reason... ♪
841
00:53:23,958 --> 00:53:26,958
Get that British blockhead here,
the one who brought these women aboard!
842
00:53:27,042 --> 00:53:28,375
Aye-aye, sir.
843
00:53:33,167 --> 00:53:34,792
For this, American Childs?
844
00:53:34,875 --> 00:53:37,000
That's very seldom of you.
845
00:53:38,167 --> 00:53:40,625
- I hold you responsible for this.
- Oh, sir.
846
00:53:40,708 --> 00:53:44,375
Do you think American sailors are
so depraved as to enjoy such trash?
847
00:53:44,458 --> 00:53:47,208
Well, sir, I wouldn't say that all
Americans find the show distasteful.
848
00:53:47,292 --> 00:53:48,667
Are you contradicting me?
849
00:53:48,750 --> 00:53:51,917
No, sir, but Mademoiselle Collette has
just told me of one officer in particular
850
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:53,250
who enjoys her act immensely.
851
00:53:53,333 --> 00:53:54,917
I'll have you know that...
852
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,125
What are you driving at?
853
00:53:56,208 --> 00:53:59,542
I wonder if the Admiral knows the officer?
Poopsie, I think she called him.
854
00:53:59,625 --> 00:54:02,542
- Poopsie? Poopsie?
- Ah, yes, yes. I heard you!
855
00:54:08,875 --> 00:54:11,833
♪ Take it from me! ♪
856
00:54:48,958 --> 00:54:51,458
Midshipman Dewberry
reporting as ordered, sir.
857
00:54:51,542 --> 00:54:53,250
Get lost!
858
00:54:55,917 --> 00:54:57,625
Cancel the rest of the show.
859
00:54:57,708 --> 00:54:58,542
Aye-aye, sir.
860
00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:04,333
On the double!
861
00:55:08,583 --> 00:55:11,208
Didn't you know what
Dewberry had up his sleeve?
862
00:55:12,917 --> 00:55:15,042
Tell me, Carol,
do I look like the sort of man
863
00:55:15,125 --> 00:55:18,208
who deliberately sticks
his head into a mincing machine?
864
00:55:18,292 --> 00:55:21,083
- No.
- No. But that's the story of my life.
865
00:55:21,833 --> 00:55:25,583
Either I forget to keep my mouth shut
or willy-nilly I'm forced to open it.
866
00:55:25,667 --> 00:55:27,375
And out pops the devil?
867
00:55:27,458 --> 00:55:29,792
With remarkable regularity.
868
00:55:29,875 --> 00:55:32,333
Well, have you tried counting to ten?
869
00:55:32,417 --> 00:55:35,458
I can't count past three midshipmen.
870
00:55:38,333 --> 00:55:40,375
- Yes, Carson, what is it?
- Excuse me, sir.
871
00:55:40,458 --> 00:55:41,792
The last boat is going ashore, sir.
872
00:55:41,875 --> 00:55:45,000
Ah, you bring no tidings to warm my soul.
873
00:55:45,083 --> 00:55:47,958
Here, you need this more than I do.
874
00:55:48,042 --> 00:55:50,167
- You certain, sir?
- Yes, you, sir.
875
00:55:50,250 --> 00:55:51,625
Go on.
876
00:55:53,083 --> 00:55:55,083
Well, end of an evening.
877
00:55:55,167 --> 00:55:56,875
- A very pleasant one.
- Hm-mm.
878
00:55:56,958 --> 00:55:58,750
- But short.
- Well, there's tomorrow.
879
00:55:58,833 --> 00:56:02,667
Happily, assuming Admiral Ryan
doesn't order the sun not to rise.
880
00:56:02,750 --> 00:56:04,958
I was thinking of when it sets.
About eight.
881
00:56:05,042 --> 00:56:06,250
That's a nice thought.
882
00:56:06,333 --> 00:56:10,833
And I might consider a private lesson
in how to tell my friends from the enemy.
883
00:56:13,292 --> 00:56:16,292
Reserved and booked. First of a series.
Tomorrow at eight.
884
00:56:19,750 --> 00:56:21,583
- Goodnight.
- Bye.
885
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:36,708
- Tidy it up that end.
- Aye-aye, sir.
886
00:56:40,792 --> 00:56:42,917
What's up with you, Romeo?
887
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,542
Life is strange and bittersweet.
888
00:56:45,625 --> 00:56:47,625
Philosophy, first thing in the morning?
889
00:56:47,708 --> 00:56:51,250
Last night, I stood on this spot
with a beautiful French chorus girl.
890
00:56:51,333 --> 00:56:52,625
It was twi99Iy-
891
00:56:52,708 --> 00:56:55,583
And in a few short hours,
two muscle-bound idiots
892
00:56:55,667 --> 00:56:58,833
will be hammering each other into a pulp.
It's very crude.
893
00:56:58,917 --> 00:57:00,250
It may be crude,
894
00:57:00,333 --> 00:57:04,083
but it'll be a large feather in the Bodger's
cap if I can train one of our men to win.
895
00:57:04,167 --> 00:57:05,208
Win what?
896
00:57:05,292 --> 00:57:07,333
The fleet boxing championships, you idiot.
897
00:57:07,417 --> 00:57:10,500
Fighting doesn't appeal to me.
I just want to be loved.
898
00:57:12,250 --> 00:57:13,500
Look who's here.
899
00:57:18,500 --> 00:57:19,917
I've been looking for you.
900
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,500
Your day should be bright now.
You've found me.
901
00:57:22,583 --> 00:57:25,083
Why did you try to cut me up
with that girl last night?
902
00:57:25,167 --> 00:57:26,958
Oh, I didn't have to try, old boy.
903
00:57:27,042 --> 00:57:30,000
You do lack charm, you know.
It's sad but true.
904
00:57:31,708 --> 00:57:33,875
How would you like a fat lip?
905
00:57:36,792 --> 00:57:39,625
Well, I've had no complaints
about my lips in their present state.
906
00:57:39,708 --> 00:57:42,083
Look out, John.
There's the Bodger.
907
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:49,000
Dewberry, will you check that the watch
quarter and station bill is up to date?
908
00:57:49,083 --> 00:57:50,292
Aye-aye, sir.
909
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:54,458
Duty calls, I'm afraid.
Can't stay. Must dash.
910
00:57:54,542 --> 00:57:56,083
Now, just a minute.
We're not finished.
911
00:57:56,167 --> 00:57:57,583
Don't worry, I'll be back.
912
00:58:05,708 --> 00:58:07,708
Come on, you blokes,
we haven't got all day.
913
00:58:10,375 --> 00:58:11,458
Oh!
914
00:58:11,542 --> 00:58:12,708
Help!
915
00:58:12,792 --> 00:58:14,583
Help! No!
916
00:58:55,417 --> 00:58:57,125
That thing's a menace.
917
00:58:57,208 --> 00:58:59,167
What idiot's in that launch?
918
00:58:59,250 --> 00:59:02,042
- It's Mr Carson, sir.
- Mr Carson?
919
00:59:19,542 --> 00:59:20,875
Admiral Ryan, sir.
920
00:59:20,958 --> 00:59:23,250
I wish to apologise
for last night's affair.
921
00:59:23,333 --> 00:59:25,250
I can assure you it won't happen again.
922
00:59:25,333 --> 00:59:27,500
- I've decided to forget the incident.
- Yes, sir.
923
00:59:27,583 --> 00:59:29,167
Thank you, sir.
924
00:59:31,667 --> 00:59:34,750
Er, Admiral, sir, would you care to see
a copy of the training schedule
925
00:59:34,833 --> 00:59:36,167
I've worked out for the midshipmen?
926
00:59:43,917 --> 00:59:46,000
Your pal isn't coming back.
927
00:59:46,083 --> 00:59:48,708
He's yellow, like the rest of you Limeys.
928
00:59:49,792 --> 00:59:52,583
Now, I've been waiting for you
to say something like that.
929
00:59:52,667 --> 00:59:54,417
Why don't you come in and repeat it?
930
00:59:54,500 --> 00:59:56,417
Sure.
931
01:00:02,917 --> 01:00:04,458
You know,
932
01:00:04,542 --> 01:00:08,667
you've been marked gutless since we Yanks
mopped you up in 1776.
933
01:00:08,750 --> 01:00:10,167
It's funny you should say that
934
01:00:10,250 --> 01:00:12,708
cos my great-grandfather
fought with Cornwallis.
935
01:00:12,792 --> 01:00:14,750
Soon he's gonna rest easier, sir.
936
01:00:14,833 --> 01:00:15,625
Ooh!
937
01:00:22,458 --> 01:00:23,583
Thank you, sir.
938
01:00:24,167 --> 01:00:26,792
Errn... Admiral Ryan, sir.
939
01:00:26,875 --> 01:00:28,292
Now what?
940
01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:30,583
Are there any special orders?
941
01:00:30,667 --> 01:00:33,458
Just one and you can
figure that out for yourself.
942
01:00:33,542 --> 01:00:34,417
Aye-aye, sir.
943
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:36,542
Now, if you are deliberately
trying to annoy me...
944
01:00:36,625 --> 01:00:39,292
Not at all, sir.
Admiral, if you'll kindly step this way,
945
01:00:39,375 --> 01:00:42,708
I think I might relieve your concern
about the British junior officers.
946
01:00:42,792 --> 01:00:45,125
The athletic programme is under way, sir.
947
01:00:45,208 --> 01:00:47,333
Mr Bowles is supervising.
948
01:00:47,417 --> 01:00:50,542
And I think I can promise you
an excellent example
949
01:00:50,625 --> 01:00:53,375
of Anglo-American cooperation.
950
01:00:53,458 --> 01:00:55,208
Just step this way, Admiral, sir.
951
01:00:55,292 --> 01:00:57,458
Bowles is very good at sport.
952
01:01:01,375 --> 01:01:03,500
I must be going out of my mind.
953
01:01:03,583 --> 01:01:06,042
Two of my officers fighting.
I don't believe it!
954
01:01:10,625 --> 01:01:12,375
You there!
955
01:01:14,750 --> 01:01:16,708
- Get Off!
- Albert!
956
01:01:16,792 --> 01:01:19,708
Get off, dog! Get off me!
957
01:01:20,792 --> 01:01:22,792
Help!
958
01:01:31,458 --> 01:01:32,417
Albert!
959
01:01:33,250 --> 01:01:34,458
Dog overboard.
960
01:01:43,833 --> 01:01:45,083
Help!
961
01:01:50,125 --> 01:01:51,875
I see no reason for delay.
962
01:01:51,958 --> 01:01:54,417
This formal investigation
will come to order.
963
01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:57,417
Now I want one thing understood.
964
01:01:57,500 --> 01:01:59,833
This board will,
to the best of its ability,
965
01:01:59,917 --> 01:02:03,417
render a decision based upon fact,
not prejudice.
966
01:02:04,292 --> 01:02:07,125
I want each member of this board
to search his conscience
967
01:02:07,833 --> 01:02:10,292
and to reach unbiased,
impartial conclusions
968
01:02:10,375 --> 01:02:12,333
when he finds the defendant guilty.
969
01:02:14,208 --> 01:02:17,125
I mean, guilty or not guilty, naturally.
970
01:02:17,833 --> 01:02:20,708
Mr Carson, how do you plead?
971
01:02:22,833 --> 01:02:24,042
Sir,
972
01:02:24,125 --> 01:02:27,167
this is my first formal
investigation so far.
973
01:02:27,250 --> 01:02:28,625
It's very interesting
974
01:02:28,708 --> 01:02:31,208
and I'd like to study up
on the procedure a bit more
975
01:02:31,292 --> 01:02:34,708
before I decide whether
I'm guilty or innocent, sir.
976
01:02:34,792 --> 01:02:38,417
Mr Badger, have you instructed this man
on the seriousness of this charge?
977
01:02:38,500 --> 01:02:39,500
Indeed, yes, sir.
978
01:02:39,583 --> 01:02:42,667
I wish to state that Mr Carson
admits crashing the launch.
979
01:02:42,750 --> 01:02:44,792
Oh, that's very generous.
980
01:02:44,875 --> 01:02:47,167
In fact, sir, he did it deliberately.
981
01:02:48,125 --> 01:02:51,583
The prosecution rests in view
of the blanket admission of guilt.
982
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:56,292
Defendant will retire while the board
considers its verdict.
983
01:02:56,375 --> 01:02:57,417
Sir?
984
01:02:57,500 --> 01:03:00,667
We wish to move that
the charges be dismissed
985
01:03:00,750 --> 01:03:02,417
and the records expunged.
986
01:03:04,500 --> 01:03:07,375
There are two investigations scheduled.
987
01:03:07,458 --> 01:03:10,500
I hadn't thought it necessary
to plan a third for you
988
01:03:10,583 --> 01:03:12,542
because you are liable
989
01:03:12,625 --> 01:03:15,708
for the actions of two
out of the three officers involved.
990
01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:19,375
However, if you'd like to try for
the grand slam, keep talking.
991
01:03:20,417 --> 01:03:22,000
We contend, sir,
992
01:03:22,083 --> 01:03:25,167
that Midshipman Carson
disregarded personal safety
993
01:03:25,250 --> 01:03:27,583
in the highest tradition of the service.
994
01:03:27,667 --> 01:03:30,333
I must tell you that
it is your privilege
995
01:03:30,417 --> 01:03:32,750
to request a new trial.
996
01:03:32,833 --> 01:03:35,667
If you believe, as I do,
that the Lieutenant Commander
997
01:03:35,750 --> 01:03:38,375
defending you has lost his mind.
998
01:03:38,458 --> 01:03:40,208
I think the Badger...
999
01:03:40,292 --> 01:03:43,167
Lieutenant Commander's
doing very well, sir.
1000
01:03:43,250 --> 01:03:46,083
Anyway, I can't wait to hear
what he's got to say next.
1001
01:03:46,708 --> 01:03:50,083
We urge, sir,
that a special citation for bravery
1002
01:03:50,167 --> 01:03:51,792
be given the accused.
1003
01:03:53,875 --> 01:03:56,000
Maybe I'm losing my mind.
1004
01:03:56,083 --> 01:03:58,750
Displaying the greatest physical courage
1005
01:03:58,833 --> 01:04:01,292
and with skill and alertness,
1006
01:04:01,375 --> 01:04:04,792
Mr Carson risked bodily injury
1007
01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:09,250
rather than harm
an innocent, gentle, dumb animal.
1008
01:04:09,333 --> 01:04:11,625
Because of his love for dogs,
1009
01:04:11,708 --> 01:04:14,958
and knowing the Admiral's affection
for the animal in question,
1010
01:04:15,042 --> 01:04:18,250
Mr Carson determined to slam his launch
1011
01:04:18,333 --> 01:04:19,875
into the side of the cruiser
1012
01:04:19,958 --> 01:04:22,792
as the only possible course he could take
1013
01:04:22,875 --> 01:04:25,708
to prevent running down poor Albert.
1014
01:04:29,042 --> 01:04:30,542
I don't believe it.
1015
01:04:30,625 --> 01:04:34,000
I can assure you, sir,
that I have interrogated
1016
01:04:34,083 --> 01:04:38,083
all those people who were in a position
to witness this unfortunate event.
1017
01:04:38,167 --> 01:04:42,000
Regrettably, they were occupied
with a certain incident
1018
01:04:42,083 --> 01:04:43,333
on the fantail
1019
01:04:43,417 --> 01:04:45,542
and were not able
to look down into the water
1020
01:04:45,625 --> 01:04:47,458
until after the crash had occurred.
1021
01:04:47,542 --> 01:04:49,000
Luckily, however,
1022
01:04:49,083 --> 01:04:52,375
there is one who knows all the facts.
1023
01:04:52,958 --> 01:04:55,417
I refer, sir, of course,
1024
01:04:56,542 --> 01:04:58,208
to Midshipman Carson.
1025
01:05:05,042 --> 01:05:06,583
How do you two plead?
1026
01:05:10,125 --> 01:05:13,083
Lieutenant Commander Richards
representing Mr Simpson, sir,
1027
01:05:13,167 --> 01:05:17,042
has consented that I enter a plea
of not guilty for both defendants.
1028
01:05:17,125 --> 01:05:19,417
No request that they be given medals?
1029
01:05:19,500 --> 01:05:20,958
No, sir.
1030
01:05:21,042 --> 01:05:25,042
The charge will be supported by
the testimony of over 20 witnesses, sir.
1031
01:05:25,125 --> 01:05:28,500
Do you deny fighting
at the time and place specified?
1032
01:05:28,583 --> 01:05:29,917
- No, sir.
- No, sir.
1033
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:33,458
Well, if you offer no evidence
of extenuating circumstances,
1034
01:05:33,542 --> 01:05:36,583
the board has no choice
but to find you guilty.
1035
01:05:36,667 --> 01:05:38,792
The defence
will produce no witnesses, sir.
1036
01:05:38,875 --> 01:05:42,833
Then perhaps you can tell me how these two
have the gall to plead not guilty?
1037
01:05:42,917 --> 01:05:44,292
Most certainly, sir.
1038
01:05:45,125 --> 01:05:48,042
I would ask the board
to accept this exhibit
1039
01:05:48,125 --> 01:05:49,875
as evidence for the defence.
1040
01:06:01,292 --> 01:06:03,042
How long's he been in there now?
1041
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,875
Exactly 29 minutes, 13 seconds.
1042
01:06:06,958 --> 01:06:09,750
- Not good, is it?
- No. Poor Bowles.
1043
01:06:11,083 --> 01:06:13,417
Now I know how an expectant father feels.
1044
01:06:13,500 --> 01:06:16,125
So I suppose giving birth
to twin miracles takes time.
1045
01:06:16,208 --> 01:06:17,667
There can't be a way out for Bowles.
1046
01:06:17,750 --> 01:06:19,750
Miracle or not, he's guilty,
there were witnesses,
1047
01:06:19,833 --> 01:06:22,125
dozens of them, and it's all my fault.
1048
01:06:30,667 --> 01:06:33,125
- Well, what happened?
- When do you walk the plank?
1049
01:06:33,208 --> 01:06:34,625
Do you mind if I use this frame?
1050
01:06:34,708 --> 01:06:37,583
- Hang the frame.
- That's exactly what I'm going to do.
1051
01:06:37,667 --> 01:06:41,000
I've got something here
I'll treasure for the rest of my life.
1052
01:06:41,083 --> 01:06:43,292
Well, come on, tell us. Dismissal? Prison?
1053
01:06:43,375 --> 01:06:45,042
What for?
1054
01:06:45,125 --> 01:06:46,375
I'm innocent.
1055
01:06:46,458 --> 01:06:49,042
Pure as the driven snow.
1056
01:06:51,167 --> 01:06:52,708
I don't believe it.
1057
01:06:52,792 --> 01:06:54,917
Well, there were quite a lot of doubts
in the Admiral's mind, too,
1058
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:56,375
until the Bodger allayed them.
1059
01:06:56,458 --> 01:06:59,458
Here, look what he produced
for the board.
1060
01:07:00,667 --> 01:07:03,875
"19th of June. To be posted
on main bulletin board.
1061
01:07:03,958 --> 01:07:06,333
It is requested that
those officers interested
1062
01:07:06,417 --> 01:07:08,500
be on the fantail at 1000 hours
1063
01:07:08,583 --> 01:07:11,292
to compete in an elimination contest
1064
01:07:11,375 --> 01:07:15,458
for determining the officers' bare knuckle
championship of the fleet.
1065
01:07:15,542 --> 01:07:18,208
Signed, T. Bowles,
Ship's Recreations Officer."
1066
01:07:18,292 --> 01:07:20,375
Congratulations, boy.
1067
01:07:20,458 --> 01:07:21,917
Marvellous.
- Come in.
1068
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:22,958
Well...
1069
01:07:26,667 --> 01:07:28,667
Oh, what do they want?
1070
01:07:28,750 --> 01:07:30,083
We've come to bury the hatchet.
1071
01:07:30,167 --> 01:07:31,375
In whose head?
1072
01:07:31,458 --> 01:07:34,292
Ha! On the level, Simpson
would have been kicked out
1073
01:07:34,375 --> 01:07:36,083
if it weren't for your
Commanding Officer.
1074
01:07:36,875 --> 01:07:38,625
We figure we were wrong about you.
1075
01:07:38,708 --> 01:07:40,417
And way out on the Lieutenant Commander.
1076
01:07:40,500 --> 01:07:41,750
Well, I started the fight.
1077
01:07:41,833 --> 01:07:44,042
You could have said so
and got yourself off the hook.
1078
01:07:44,125 --> 01:07:47,250
- Thanks.
- That's our piece and we've said it.
1079
01:07:47,833 --> 01:07:50,500
- Buddies?
- Well, friends.
1080
01:07:52,125 --> 01:07:54,625
- Hey, look out, here comes the dog.
- Here comes the dog again.
1081
01:07:59,875 --> 01:08:01,667
Now I'll believe anything.
1082
01:08:06,458 --> 01:08:09,958
What would you say to my transferring
your three midshipman
1083
01:08:10,042 --> 01:08:11,333
to another ship?
1084
01:08:11,417 --> 01:08:13,125
They can make it on their own or not
1085
01:08:13,208 --> 01:08:15,625
but you'd be free of the responsibility.
1086
01:08:15,708 --> 01:08:17,375
That is for you to decide, sir.
1087
01:08:19,125 --> 01:08:20,375
Sit down.
1088
01:08:21,042 --> 01:08:22,208
Thank you, sir.
1089
01:08:23,833 --> 01:08:26,042
I'm giving you a chance
to protect yourself.
1090
01:08:26,125 --> 01:08:29,542
Thank you, sir, but if I have a choice,
I'd rather stay with my men.
1091
01:08:31,458 --> 01:08:35,333
You're too smart to think this situation
can go on much longer.
1092
01:08:35,417 --> 01:08:37,875
Oh, I admit you've done amazingly well
1093
01:08:37,958 --> 01:08:39,958
in winning some minor skirmishes,
1094
01:08:40,042 --> 01:08:42,208
but you're a cinch to lose the war.
1095
01:08:42,292 --> 01:08:44,625
I sincerely regret the incidents
which have occurred, sir.
1096
01:08:44,708 --> 01:08:46,292
I hope there'|| be no others.
1097
01:08:46,375 --> 01:08:49,125
Carson, Bowles and Dewberry
are potentially good men.
1098
01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:52,042
They've made mistakes
but are better for what they've learned.
1099
01:08:52,125 --> 01:08:53,625
I'd like them to have a chance, sir.
1100
01:08:55,042 --> 01:08:58,292
Are you suggesting that I'm prejudiced
and persecuting them?
1101
01:08:58,375 --> 01:08:59,958
I didn't say that, sir.
1102
01:09:00,042 --> 01:09:02,500
Well, maybe I am prejudiced
but I doubt it.
1103
01:09:02,583 --> 01:09:04,958
Those three are teetering on the brink.
1104
01:09:05,042 --> 01:09:07,833
If they trip one way, end of career,
1105
01:09:07,917 --> 01:09:09,917
loss of time, effort and potential.
1106
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:13,375
But if they go the other way
then everybody wins.
1107
01:09:13,458 --> 01:09:15,875
The Navy has three good men
and three good men have the Navy.
1108
01:09:15,958 --> 01:09:19,250
Just how long do you expect me
to watch them teeter?
1109
01:09:19,917 --> 01:09:23,125
With respect, sir, that is a question
only an Admiral can answer.
1110
01:09:23,208 --> 01:09:24,292
Mm.
1111
01:09:27,833 --> 01:09:29,042
Alright.
1112
01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:33,625
Alright, you say they've learned.
We'll find out.
1113
01:09:34,833 --> 01:09:37,417
Now, if they've grown into be men
we can use them.
1114
01:09:37,500 --> 01:09:39,917
But if they're still boys,
1115
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:43,625
yourjudgement is on the line
and you stand to fall with them.
1116
01:09:43,708 --> 01:09:45,500
- Is that clear?
- Yes, sir.
1117
01:09:46,708 --> 01:09:48,125
New assignments.
1118
01:09:48,875 --> 01:09:51,375
Bowles becomes
Assistant Gunnery Officer.
1119
01:09:51,458 --> 01:09:54,500
Dewberry goes to Supply
and Carson is on Radar.
1120
01:09:54,583 --> 01:09:55,542
Thank you, sir.
1121
01:09:55,625 --> 01:09:58,625
Effective in 72 hours.
1122
01:09:58,708 --> 01:10:00,125
Yes, sir.
1123
01:10:00,208 --> 01:10:02,708
And are they to continue with
their present jobs until then?
1124
01:10:02,792 --> 01:10:05,958
They have three days to prove
that you're right about them.
1125
01:10:06,042 --> 01:10:09,500
And you're under orders
to give them no assistance, that clear?
1126
01:10:09,583 --> 01:10:10,833
I understand, sir.
1127
01:10:11,917 --> 01:10:15,125
May I ask what their
new assignments are to be?
1128
01:10:15,208 --> 01:10:18,000
Well, I'm giving them duties
where they can prove themselves.
1129
01:10:18,792 --> 01:10:20,583
You know,
1130
01:10:20,667 --> 01:10:24,583
a sailor ashore on the Riviera
is exposed to many temptations.
1131
01:10:24,667 --> 01:10:27,292
Liquor, women, brawls.
1132
01:10:27,375 --> 01:10:29,417
And the men who police...
1133
01:10:31,750 --> 01:10:33,583
Shore patrol?
1134
01:10:35,583 --> 01:10:37,042
Yeah.
1135
01:10:38,417 --> 01:10:40,000
Yeah.
1136
01:10:50,250 --> 01:10:51,167
Hello, hello!
1137
01:10:54,875 --> 01:10:58,708
I can handle this section.
You chaps trot along on your rounds.
1138
01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:03,708
Garçon, venir here. Naughty gargon.
1139
01:11:03,792 --> 01:11:06,792
Garçon, donne-moi le peashooter.
1140
01:11:09,875 --> 01:11:11,167
Oh.
1141
01:11:15,500 --> 01:11:19,292
Donne-moi! Frappé-vous on your derriere.
1142
01:11:19,375 --> 01:11:20,750
Ah. Bonjour!
1143
01:11:25,542 --> 01:11:26,583
Alter!
1144
01:11:28,458 --> 01:11:31,167
Oh, how can I ever thank you?
1145
01:11:31,250 --> 01:11:33,458
There are ways.
1146
01:11:33,542 --> 01:11:35,208
Cheers, mate.
1147
01:11:35,292 --> 01:11:37,958
Don't forget what you owe me.
1148
01:11:38,042 --> 01:11:39,500
No kidding.
1149
01:11:46,208 --> 01:11:47,750
Are you the proprietor?
1150
01:11:47,833 --> 01:11:48,917
Oui.
1151
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:50,708
Well, this sailor says
he was short-changed.
1152
01:11:50,792 --> 01:11:54,958
What, by me? Honest Marcel?
1153
01:11:55,042 --> 01:11:58,042
If he's honest,
Jesse James was a choir boy.
1154
01:11:58,917 --> 01:12:01,458
Now, look, we've had a lot of reports
of this sort of thing.
1155
01:12:01,542 --> 01:12:03,167
He says you owe him 40 francs.
1156
01:12:07,250 --> 01:12:09,208
Do you know what this is?
1157
01:12:09,292 --> 01:12:11,833
This make tall sailor very short!
1158
01:12:11,917 --> 01:12:14,000
Imagine what it will do to you.
1159
01:12:14,083 --> 01:12:16,292
- Why, you!
- Steady on, Jack.
1160
01:12:17,375 --> 01:12:19,667
If you start a fight,
you'll have to pay for what gets broken.
1161
01:12:19,750 --> 01:12:21,292
Don't worry about it.
1162
01:12:21,375 --> 01:12:23,583
It's only his face that will get smashed.
1163
01:12:24,167 --> 01:12:25,458
What did he say?
1164
01:12:25,542 --> 01:12:28,250
The only thing that gets
broken is his face.
1165
01:12:29,792 --> 01:12:31,333
Now, come on, Jack.
1166
01:12:32,083 --> 01:12:33,792
A fight means the cells for you.
1167
01:12:36,250 --> 01:12:38,708
♪ Drunk last night ♪
1168
01:12:38,792 --> 01:12:41,875
- J' Drunk the night before ♪
- Alright, buddy, come away from there.
1169
01:12:41,958 --> 01:12:46,000
♪ Gonna get drunk tonight
Like I've never been drunk before ♪
1170
01:12:46,083 --> 01:12:48,750
- Listen, we asked you to get down from there!
- I'm drunk!
1171
01:12:48,833 --> 01:12:51,958
Alright, buddy, just pretend
you're a bird and fly down.
1172
01:12:53,750 --> 01:12:56,083
It's not good. Man, he's loaded.
1173
01:12:56,167 --> 01:12:57,708
Guess I'll go up.
1174
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:02,167
What's the trouble?
1175
01:13:03,167 --> 01:13:06,083
Nothing serious, sir, he just had
a little too much elbow exercise.
1176
01:13:07,958 --> 01:13:09,375
YOu!
1177
01:13:09,458 --> 01:13:12,500
♪ The lowland action... ♪
1178
01:13:13,333 --> 01:13:15,500
Sailor! Come down!
1179
01:13:15,583 --> 01:13:16,917
Uh-uh.
1180
01:13:17,000 --> 01:13:19,583
You! Come up!
1181
01:13:19,667 --> 01:13:22,500
♪ Glorious! ♪
1182
01:13:22,583 --> 01:13:24,792
Sir, it might be quicker and safer
if we went up to get him.
1183
01:13:24,875 --> 01:13:27,583
It won't take a minute. I've only
to cut through that alcoholic haze
1184
01:13:27,667 --> 01:13:30,625
and touch the enlisted man's
basic respect and regard for an officer.
1185
01:13:31,667 --> 01:13:34,208
- Where's your pride in your uniform?
- Hmm?
1186
01:13:34,292 --> 01:13:36,458
Where's your pride in your uniform?
1187
01:13:37,625 --> 01:13:38,667
Here.
1188
01:13:39,375 --> 01:13:41,667
Have a drink!
1189
01:13:57,750 --> 01:13:59,292
I once heard it rumoured
1190
01:13:59,375 --> 01:14:01,083
that a man on a date with a girl
1191
01:14:01,167 --> 01:14:03,667
is supposed to be vaguely
aware of her presence
1192
01:14:03,750 --> 01:14:05,208
from time to time.
1193
01:14:05,292 --> 01:14:06,500
Mm-hm.
1194
01:14:08,292 --> 01:14:11,167
- The moon is made of green cheese.
- Uh-huh.
1195
01:14:13,583 --> 01:14:14,750
Oh, Well.
1196
01:14:14,833 --> 01:14:17,500
It's almost four o'clock,
would you like to kiss me?
1197
01:14:17,583 --> 01:14:18,750
Mmm.
1198
01:14:18,833 --> 01:14:21,292
Hey, what's that you said?
1199
01:14:21,375 --> 01:14:22,542
Oh, that did it.
1200
01:14:22,625 --> 01:14:25,583
Well, it's nice to know
that some reactions are still working.
1201
01:14:25,667 --> 01:14:27,292
Never mind that,
what did you say just now?
1202
01:14:27,375 --> 01:14:30,583
Oh, I was just talking to myself, which
I've been doing for some time now.
1203
01:14:30,667 --> 01:14:33,708
It's really boring, you know, because
I never tell myself the unexpected.
1204
01:14:34,625 --> 01:14:36,583
Well, it sounded fascinating to me.
1205
01:14:36,667 --> 01:14:38,333
Tell me, what is bothering you?
1206
01:14:40,333 --> 01:14:42,000
Report back to the ship.
1207
01:14:46,208 --> 01:14:48,958
- Mr Bodger, sir.
- Hello, Garrett. What is it?
1208
01:14:49,042 --> 01:14:50,500
All shore leave's cancelled, sir.
1209
01:14:50,583 --> 01:14:52,750
The flagship sails at 1900 hours.
1210
01:14:52,833 --> 01:14:54,667
Well, that's that.
1211
01:14:55,708 --> 01:14:58,417
For a moment, I thought our
three friends had boobed again.
1212
01:14:58,500 --> 01:15:01,833
Even they couldn't get the American fleet
to up anchor and steam away.
1213
01:15:02,375 --> 01:15:04,083
Or could they?
1214
01:15:04,167 --> 01:15:06,500
Well, with sea duty instead
of shore patrol,
1215
01:15:06,583 --> 01:15:08,875
it'll be easier for them
to get past the deadline.
1216
01:15:08,958 --> 01:15:10,292
That's a point.
1217
01:15:10,375 --> 01:15:12,500
Which reminds me, when I get back,
1218
01:15:12,583 --> 01:15:14,708
I must have a long chat with you
1219
01:15:14,792 --> 01:15:15,917
about a number of things.
1220
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:17,500
Such as?
1221
01:15:17,583 --> 01:15:19,000
Nothing important.
1222
01:15:19,083 --> 01:15:20,667
Just odds and ends.
1223
01:15:20,750 --> 01:15:22,625
How you plan
to spend the rest of your life.
1224
01:15:24,500 --> 01:15:25,833
Garrett, do you mind?
1225
01:15:25,917 --> 01:15:28,833
I'm sorry, sir, it's about Carson,
Dewberry and Bowles, sir.
1226
01:15:28,917 --> 01:15:30,458
I've just come from Shore Patrol HQ.
1227
01:15:30,542 --> 01:15:34,208
They haven't reported back since
they went ashore. It's mighty strange.
1228
01:15:34,292 --> 01:15:35,792
Any reason to suspect anything wrong?
1229
01:15:35,875 --> 01:15:37,333
Oh, no, sir, no.
1230
01:15:37,417 --> 01:15:38,542
That's reason enough.
1231
01:15:38,625 --> 01:15:41,500
Well, sir, I'll keep looking for them
but what do I do if I can't find them?
1232
01:15:41,583 --> 01:15:44,708
Well, there are three of them
and three of us.
1233
01:15:44,792 --> 01:15:47,417
We'll divide the town and meet
on the jetty in half an hour,
1234
01:15:47,500 --> 01:15:50,167
hopefully with our quarry bagged.
You go that way. Carol...
1235
01:15:52,542 --> 01:15:55,083
I know a little restaurant
which is trés intimate.
1236
01:15:55,167 --> 01:15:58,417
Avec soft lights, sweet music,
champagne...
1237
01:15:58,500 --> 01:15:59,875
It's trés romantic.
1238
01:15:59,958 --> 01:16:02,417
Marvellous. Tonight?
1239
01:16:02,500 --> 01:16:03,875
Salut!
1240
01:16:03,958 --> 01:16:07,125
- My cousin. My fiancé.
- My mistake.
1241
01:16:07,208 --> 01:16:08,375
Get out of here!
1242
01:16:10,750 --> 01:16:12,708
We'd better settle this like gentlemen.
1243
01:16:13,833 --> 01:16:15,708
Perhaps I could offer you money?
1244
01:16:15,792 --> 01:16:17,458
Oh, I say.
1245
01:16:17,542 --> 01:16:20,125
I am going to tear you
into little pieces!
1246
01:16:20,208 --> 01:16:22,333
- English idiot!
- Oh, really?
1247
01:16:22,417 --> 01:16:24,292
What on earth is going on here?
1248
01:16:24,375 --> 01:16:25,583
Do you know this snake?
1249
01:16:25,667 --> 01:16:27,542
He tries to make love with my fiancé.
1250
01:16:27,625 --> 01:16:29,833
- My husband? Make love?
- He's... He's...
1251
01:16:29,917 --> 01:16:32,042
Oh, Charles, how could you?
1252
01:16:32,667 --> 01:16:34,083
I mean, think of the children.
1253
01:16:34,167 --> 01:16:35,458
The children?
1254
01:16:35,542 --> 01:16:36,917
Oh, yes, of course, yes.
1255
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:38,333
Whatever came over you?
1256
01:16:38,417 --> 01:16:39,583
Forgive me, Daphne.
1257
01:16:39,667 --> 01:16:42,500
- It's this tropical heat.
- Oh, take me home, Charles.
1258
01:16:42,583 --> 01:16:44,792
Thank you, monsieur.
Thank you a thousand times.
1259
01:16:44,875 --> 01:16:46,417
At your service, madam.
1260
01:16:46,500 --> 01:16:47,917
Oh!
1261
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:55,417
Look, they call me Honest Marcel.
1262
01:16:56,208 --> 01:16:57,667
So, I tell you what.
1263
01:16:58,917 --> 01:17:00,875
I give him 20 francs, huh?
1264
01:17:00,958 --> 01:17:03,167
Then they'll call you Half Honest Marcel.
1265
01:17:03,250 --> 01:17:05,292
- Now we're getting somewhere.
- Now come on.
1266
01:17:05,375 --> 01:17:07,333
40 francs or I'll have this bar
put off limits.
1267
01:17:10,875 --> 01:17:12,042
Alright.
1268
01:17:13,333 --> 01:17:14,667
| Pay-
1269
01:17:15,583 --> 01:17:16,958
Voila!
1270
01:17:20,250 --> 01:17:21,375
Merci, cherie.
1271
01:17:21,458 --> 01:17:24,833
I'm prepared to forget this
incident now. I'm glad you saw it my way.
1272
01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:27,750
- Thank you very much.
- Don't mention it.
1273
01:17:27,833 --> 01:17:29,583
Now get out of here
as soon as you can, okay?
1274
01:17:29,667 --> 01:17:30,542
Yeah, er...
1275
01:17:30,625 --> 01:17:34,125
And now, to show there
is no hard feeling...
1276
01:17:35,042 --> 01:17:37,625
you have a little drink
with Honest Marcel, eh?
1277
01:17:37,708 --> 01:17:40,083
No, thank you,
I can't drink while I'm on duty.
1278
01:17:44,292 --> 01:17:47,542
Well, alright. Just a small one.
1279
01:17:48,292 --> 01:17:50,208
In the interests
of international relations.
1280
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:55,000
I mean, what is a glass of wine
to an officer and a gentleman?
1281
01:17:55,083 --> 01:17:56,167
Indeed.
1282
01:17:57,708 --> 01:17:59,667
- Vive la France!
- Up the Arsenal.
1283
01:18:03,708 --> 01:18:06,083
Mm, Wes bon.
1284
01:18:06,958 --> 01:18:08,583
Everything alright, sir?
1285
01:18:08,667 --> 01:18:10,375
Yes, fine.
1286
01:18:10,458 --> 01:18:13,250
Well, some time when I'm off duty
I'll pop in for some more of that.
1287
01:18:13,333 --> 01:18:14,583
It's the best I've ever tasted.
1288
01:18:14,667 --> 01:18:16,292
- Ah, tout alors.
- Oui.
1289
01:18:24,958 --> 01:18:26,292
Who put the hole in the floor?
1290
01:18:26,375 --> 01:18:28,292
- Now let's get him out of here.
- Yeah.
1291
01:18:30,875 --> 01:18:33,500
I like that, let's play it again!
1292
01:18:33,583 --> 01:18:34,875
Alright.
1293
01:18:35,667 --> 01:18:38,792
- You come down and we will.
- Promise?
1294
01:18:40,333 --> 01:18:41,625
Come on.
1295
01:18:48,500 --> 01:18:49,833
Help me.
1296
01:18:50,500 --> 01:18:52,083
Help me, please.
1297
01:18:56,833 --> 01:18:58,583
Now, sailor, stand to attention.
1298
01:18:59,333 --> 01:19:00,875
Stand to attention!
1299
01:19:01,625 --> 01:19:04,542
You didn't really want to play at all.
You cheated.
1300
01:19:04,625 --> 01:19:07,458
- And salute an officer!
- Okay.
1301
01:19:09,625 --> 01:19:11,667
Nvhy don't you m' Oh!
ere you're going?!
1302
01:19:11,750 --> 01:19:13,417
I'll handle this myself. Let him go.
1303
01:19:13,500 --> 01:19:14,792
Well, let him go!
1304
01:19:14,875 --> 01:19:17,208
- Hold him!
- You want to play?
1305
01:19:17,792 --> 01:19:21,000
At last. What the devil's all this about?
1306
01:19:21,083 --> 01:19:22,625
Well, sir, this sailor
seems to have drunk too much.
1307
01:19:22,708 --> 01:19:25,667
But I think I can convince him
that his behaviour's
1308
01:19:25,750 --> 01:19:27,958
not in the best interests of the service.
1309
01:19:28,042 --> 01:19:30,708
You've already convinced me, Carson,
that you're a ruddy fool.
1310
01:19:30,792 --> 01:19:32,667
And I have proof!
1311
01:19:32,750 --> 01:19:35,125
Get him back to the ship,
as quietly as possible.
1312
01:19:35,208 --> 01:19:37,542
Get you on your feet.
1313
01:19:40,417 --> 01:19:41,958
When you come across a drunk,
1314
01:19:42,042 --> 01:19:44,708
don't stand in front of him
flaunting your gold braid,
1315
01:19:44,792 --> 01:19:46,458
or you'll get clobbered and deserve it.
1316
01:19:46,542 --> 01:19:48,333
Stand aside
and let the ratings handle him.
1317
01:19:48,417 --> 01:19:50,500
Yes, but, sir, I've done a lot
of research on drinking.
1318
01:19:50,583 --> 01:19:54,000
Yes, I'm quite sure you've read all
the best books on how drunks behave.
1319
01:19:54,083 --> 01:19:56,958
Unfortunately, the drunks may not
have read the same books.
1320
01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,000
And I'm sure the Admiral hasn't.
1321
01:19:59,083 --> 01:20:00,833
- Now, come on!
- Yes, sir.
1322
01:20:18,500 --> 01:20:19,708
Hmm!
1323
01:20:21,292 --> 01:20:22,500
Look at you.
1324
01:20:22,583 --> 01:20:25,083
After just three hours of shore patrol,
1325
01:20:25,167 --> 01:20:28,750
my imagination wilts at what you might
have achieved in three days.
1326
01:20:28,833 --> 01:20:30,625
Call yourselves naval officers?
1327
01:20:30,708 --> 01:20:33,542
It's just possible that we're
looking at a trio of officers
1328
01:20:33,625 --> 01:20:36,083
unique since Captain Kidd
was out recruiting.
1329
01:20:36,167 --> 01:20:37,875
Well, at least they're back in time.
1330
01:20:40,208 --> 01:20:42,292
Excuse me, sir. The launch is coming in.
1331
01:20:42,375 --> 01:20:44,625
Right. Wait at the landing stage.
1332
01:20:54,083 --> 01:20:55,458
Really!
1333
01:20:55,542 --> 01:20:57,583
They've just been unlucky.
1334
01:20:57,667 --> 01:20:59,792
Bad luck is usually due to bad judgement.
1335
01:20:59,875 --> 01:21:01,458
Well, that's perfectly silly.
1336
01:21:01,542 --> 01:21:03,000
It's perfectly true.
1337
01:21:03,083 --> 01:21:06,667
As for them, well, they've
used up their quota of luck.
1338
01:21:06,750 --> 01:21:09,333
Now where's that famous Badger optimism?
1339
01:21:11,333 --> 01:21:13,375
Very much in evidence.
1340
01:21:13,458 --> 01:21:15,417
I expect to see you when I get back.
1341
01:21:15,500 --> 01:21:18,667
That isn't optimism, that's a cinch.
1342
01:21:20,250 --> 01:21:21,958
Take care of yourself.
1343
01:21:36,625 --> 01:21:37,583
Pick him up!
1344
01:21:53,583 --> 01:21:56,000
- I report my return aboard, sir.
- Aye-aye, sir.
1345
01:21:56,083 --> 01:21:57,458
What's the buzz about sailing orders?
1346
01:21:57,542 --> 01:21:59,542
- Have they recalled the ship's company?
- Come on! Shh!
1347
01:21:59,625 --> 01:22:01,458
I don't know, sir, we haven't
been given our orders yet.
1348
01:22:37,250 --> 01:22:39,333
- Mr Badger.
- Sir?
1349
01:22:41,708 --> 01:22:44,333
You'd better start to prepare your defence
1350
01:22:44,417 --> 01:22:46,917
for the Board of Enquiry
when we return to harbour.
1351
01:22:47,000 --> 01:22:48,167
Aye-aye, sir.
1352
01:22:48,250 --> 01:22:49,625
Ready for sea, sir.
1353
01:22:50,875 --> 01:22:53,750
And you'd be wise to keep those...
1354
01:22:53,833 --> 01:22:56,208
"officers" out of my sight.
1355
01:22:57,000 --> 01:22:58,500
Very good, Admiral.
1356
01:23:06,417 --> 01:23:08,750
I'm sure you're all aware
of the revolution
1357
01:23:08,833 --> 01:23:11,958
which has occupied the headlines
for the past several days,
1358
01:23:12,042 --> 01:23:15,167
so it will come as no surprise to you
1359
01:23:15,250 --> 01:23:18,458
to learn that we are sailing
for Maroneia...
1360
01:23:19,833 --> 01:23:22,208
and will arrive there late tonight.
1361
01:23:22,292 --> 01:23:23,917
Now,
1362
01:23:24,000 --> 01:23:27,458
the President of Maroneia
has held office for 13 years.
1363
01:23:27,542 --> 01:23:29,750
Elections are held every four years
1364
01:23:29,833 --> 01:23:32,167
but the results may be open to question.
1365
01:23:32,250 --> 01:23:34,292
Last time the President's electoral board
1366
01:23:34,375 --> 01:23:37,917
announced his re-election
by the largest majority in history.
1367
01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:42,250
In fact, it was 17% larger
than the entire population.
1368
01:23:44,458 --> 01:23:48,500
Anti-government activity flared
into open revolt last Sunday.
1369
01:23:48,583 --> 01:23:50,708
News has been strictly censored
1370
01:23:50,792 --> 01:23:52,708
but, according to our reports,
1371
01:23:52,792 --> 01:23:55,250
a certain impasse has now been reached.
1372
01:23:55,333 --> 01:23:56,917
We do know one thing.
1373
01:23:57,000 --> 01:24:01,125
The rebels are holding out in a large
building opposite the palace.
1374
01:24:01,875 --> 01:24:05,500
And they have a hostage,
an American citizen.
1375
01:24:06,542 --> 01:24:08,292
And that's where we come in.
1376
01:24:08,375 --> 01:24:10,833
We must protect that American
1377
01:24:10,917 --> 01:24:14,625
without offending the government,
the rebels, the civilian population,
1378
01:24:14,708 --> 01:24:17,875
the world press,
or probably anybody's Aunt Sally.
1379
01:24:20,167 --> 01:24:22,750
We hope that a show
of strength will do the trick.
1380
01:24:22,833 --> 01:24:25,375
But if it doesn't,
you might as well know now,
1381
01:24:25,458 --> 01:24:26,875
we're in trouble.
1382
01:24:36,667 --> 01:24:38,458
- Mr Badger, sir.
- Yes?
1383
01:24:38,542 --> 01:24:40,958
- Could I speak to you a minute, sir?
- Surely. Come in.
1384
01:24:45,000 --> 01:24:47,417
It's about Carson, Dewberry
and Bowles, sir.
1385
01:24:47,500 --> 01:24:48,750
They've scuttled the ship?
1386
01:24:48,833 --> 01:24:51,333
- No, sir, just that we can't find them.
- What?
1387
01:24:51,417 --> 01:24:54,625
We've searched this ship from top
to bottom, sir, they're not aboard.
1388
01:24:56,208 --> 01:24:57,375
Right, come on.
1389
01:25:16,708 --> 01:25:20,875
They started the revolution!
1390
01:25:20,958 --> 01:25:25,167
But we, the students and workers,
will finish it!
1391
01:25:25,250 --> 01:25:28,625
A plague on both sides!
1392
01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:33,333
And as for that warship out there,
1393
01:25:33,417 --> 01:25:36,917
they won't force us to accept
corrupt leaders,
1394
01:25:37,000 --> 01:25:39,917
not while there's a breath in our bodies!
1395
01:25:41,625 --> 01:25:44,000
That must be
the President's palace over there.
1396
01:25:46,667 --> 01:25:48,542
And I should think this
is the rebel headquarters.
1397
01:25:49,750 --> 01:25:52,708
We'll rescue the hostage
and give Bodger the credit,
1398
01:25:52,792 --> 01:25:54,167
then they can't turn him out.
1399
01:25:54,250 --> 01:25:57,625
Let one of those foreigners
come ashore,
1400
01:25:57,708 --> 01:25:59,833
and I'll tear him to p...
1401
01:25:59,917 --> 01:26:02,292
We'll tear him to pieces
1402
01:26:02,375 --> 01:26:04,208
with our bare hands!
1403
01:26:06,833 --> 01:26:09,333
We'd better see if we can
find a way in through the back.
1404
01:26:09,417 --> 01:26:12,292
We'll try the first door
and if we get shot, it's the right one.
1405
01:26:12,375 --> 01:26:13,917
Alright, come on.
1406
01:26:14,000 --> 01:26:18,667
...and I say to you comrades
that right is might!
1407
01:26:53,875 --> 01:26:55,250
It's locked.
1408
01:27:04,167 --> 01:27:05,500
Yes, so is this one.
1409
01:27:06,375 --> 01:27:07,625
He might be in there.
1410
01:27:07,708 --> 01:27:09,417
Whistle something American.
1411
01:27:09,500 --> 01:27:11,458
- What?
- "Anchors Aweigh".
1412
01:27:13,375 --> 01:27:14,917
How does it go?
1413
01:27:18,417 --> 01:27:19,875
Okay, okay.
1414
01:27:43,667 --> 01:27:45,417
The place is deserted.
1415
01:27:54,792 --> 01:27:56,333
I'm going to try to bash it down.
1416
01:28:11,625 --> 01:28:13,792
I wonder if you could direct us
to the headquarters
1417
01:28:13,875 --> 01:28:16,125
of the British Hunting and Chess Society?
1418
01:28:35,917 --> 01:28:40,250
My Colonel, my Colonel!
We have captured three spies.
1419
01:28:41,958 --> 01:28:43,667
Shoot them.
1420
01:28:45,083 --> 01:28:47,000
Hey, just a minute, we're not spies!
1421
01:28:47,083 --> 01:28:49,583
He says you are spies.
He's a truthful man.
1422
01:28:49,667 --> 01:28:51,625
Don't be ridiculous!
1423
01:28:51,708 --> 01:28:54,000
We're British officers assigned
to the American fleet.
1424
01:28:54,083 --> 01:28:56,375
If we were spies,
would we wear these uniforms?
1425
01:28:56,458 --> 01:29:00,458
You think all I have to worry about
is the fashion in spy clothes?
1426
01:29:00,542 --> 01:29:02,000
Shoot them.
1427
01:29:02,083 --> 01:29:03,375
Not here.
1428
01:29:03,458 --> 01:29:05,625
I have such a headache!
1429
01:29:07,250 --> 01:29:09,083
I must warn you...
1430
01:29:10,042 --> 01:29:13,292
that my father is a member
of the British House of Parliament.
1431
01:29:13,875 --> 01:29:17,375
My father is member of moral disarmament.
1432
01:29:17,458 --> 01:29:20,042
Do I bother you with my problems?
1433
01:29:21,042 --> 01:29:24,833
Okay, okay.
You don't want to get shot as spies.
1434
01:29:24,917 --> 01:29:26,125
I understand.
1435
01:29:28,625 --> 01:29:31,208
Shoot them as political agents.
1436
01:29:33,167 --> 01:29:36,500
- Do you have plenty ammunition?
- Enough, my Colonel.
1437
01:29:40,542 --> 01:29:42,833
But it is food we don't have!
1438
01:29:43,917 --> 01:29:46,875
Er, maybe we shoot the hostage too.
1439
01:29:46,958 --> 01:29:48,542
He eats too much, Papa!
1440
01:29:48,625 --> 01:29:51,375
Well, if you'd like
to keep us as hostages,
1441
01:29:51,458 --> 01:29:52,667
we don't eat very much.
1442
01:29:52,750 --> 01:29:55,458
Take them away,
maybe shoot them later.
1443
01:29:56,917 --> 01:29:59,125
When my headache is better!
1444
01:30:00,167 --> 01:30:04,042
Let us brace ourselves
and overthrow these traitors...
1445
01:30:05,958 --> 01:30:07,500
Up with your hands!
1446
01:30:07,583 --> 01:30:11,000
I told you not to shoot that thing.
Don't you know the Colonel has a headache?
1447
01:30:14,333 --> 01:30:15,625
Inside!
1448
01:30:15,708 --> 01:30:17,958
That's just the direction I was going.
1449
01:30:29,792 --> 01:30:31,250
Alright!
1450
01:30:32,917 --> 01:30:35,917
Well, it looks as if another bunch
of suckers has been bagged.
1451
01:30:36,000 --> 01:30:38,500
Midshipman Carson, Bowles
and Dewberry.
1452
01:30:38,583 --> 01:30:40,125
You must be the American hostage.
1453
01:30:40,208 --> 01:30:43,458
Only until the American government finds
out about it and sends a warship.
1454
01:30:43,542 --> 01:30:46,375
Well, they've sent one.
We're attached to it.
1455
01:30:47,292 --> 01:30:50,750
Well, if the Navy's here,
why didn't they send out a rescue party?
1456
01:30:50,833 --> 01:30:53,333
We rather thought
we were a sort of rescue party.
1457
01:30:53,417 --> 01:30:54,792
Sir.
1458
01:31:00,958 --> 01:31:03,167
We've found another Spy, sir.
1459
01:31:03,250 --> 01:31:06,167
Shoot him, where I won't hear the noise.
1460
01:31:06,250 --> 01:31:07,958
What do you stand to gain?
1461
01:31:08,042 --> 01:31:10,750
Please! I don't want to argue.
1462
01:31:10,833 --> 01:31:13,833
Just get shot, quietly.
1463
01:31:14,500 --> 01:31:17,042
You may consider yourself
my prisoner, sir.
1464
01:31:18,875 --> 01:31:20,667
- You have a gun?
- No.
1465
01:31:20,750 --> 01:31:22,292
- You have men?
- Three.
1466
01:31:22,375 --> 01:31:24,458
No doubt you have them tucked away
hereabouts somewhere.
1467
01:31:24,542 --> 01:31:26,625
They're my prisoners
and you're my prisoner too!
1468
01:31:26,708 --> 01:31:29,833
Technically, perhaps,
but only in the short view.
1469
01:31:29,917 --> 01:31:32,417
Do you know something I don't know?
1470
01:31:35,625 --> 01:31:39,792
Suppose I said I could get you
out of this revolution... alive?
1471
01:31:39,875 --> 01:31:41,333
You know how?
1472
01:31:42,750 --> 01:31:44,083
Who needs you?
1473
01:31:47,292 --> 01:31:49,292
Have another drink, have another drink!
1474
01:31:49,375 --> 01:31:52,542
You will agree, of course,
that the revolution is virtually over.
1475
01:31:53,958 --> 01:31:57,167
Don't tell anyone,
it was over before it started.
1476
01:31:57,958 --> 01:32:01,125
Revolutions should
run on time, like trains.
1477
01:32:01,208 --> 01:32:02,792
Two weeks early, they started,
1478
01:32:02,875 --> 01:32:05,667
just because the man who was
to dynamite the radio station
1479
01:32:05,750 --> 01:32:08,917
wanted to get it over so he could
get married on a saint's day.
1480
01:32:09,000 --> 01:32:10,750
Pity. He's happily wed, I trust?
1481
01:32:10,833 --> 01:32:12,625
Ah! To a lovely girl.
1482
01:32:12,708 --> 01:32:14,000
How delightful.
1483
01:32:14,083 --> 01:32:16,458
Never mind him!
1484
01:32:17,042 --> 01:32:18,917
I'm what's important to me.
1485
01:32:20,792 --> 01:32:22,500
Actually, the plan is very simple.
1486
01:32:22,583 --> 01:32:25,583
You were apprehended by a patrol from
the fleet, myself and my three men.
1487
01:32:25,667 --> 01:32:26,708
I was?
1488
01:32:26,792 --> 01:32:28,875
Under our jurisdiction
you are taken to the ship.
1489
01:32:28,958 --> 01:32:31,625
- I am?
- What happens then, I can't guarantee,
1490
01:32:31,708 --> 01:32:35,333
but at least you'll be off Maroneian soil
and out of reach of the government.
1491
01:32:35,417 --> 01:32:37,667
You're a genius! Mwah!
1492
01:32:37,750 --> 01:32:39,458
You're a genius!
1493
01:32:43,708 --> 01:32:45,417
Get my bags, the locked ones.
1494
01:32:45,500 --> 01:32:47,833
And hurry up, you numbskull,
can't you see I'm prisoner?
1495
01:32:47,917 --> 01:32:50,208
- Oh, well, I will kill him!
- No, no, no, you idiot.
1496
01:32:50,292 --> 01:32:51,625
If he kills you, I'll kill him.
1497
01:32:51,708 --> 01:32:54,125
So many times he wish you were dead.
Now, do as you are told.
1498
01:32:54,208 --> 01:32:57,417
And bring back the three British officers
and the hostage.
1499
01:32:57,500 --> 01:32:58,917
And shut the door.
1500
01:33:00,125 --> 01:33:03,333
This is the worst run
revolution I ever saw.
1501
01:33:03,417 --> 01:33:06,500
A man can't even surrender in peace.
1502
01:33:06,583 --> 01:33:08,167
And now with that mob out there,
1503
01:33:08,250 --> 01:33:12,833
I cannot make a private little deal with
that silly brother of mine, the President.
1504
01:33:12,917 --> 01:33:14,958
He's in just as much trouble as I am.
1505
01:33:15,042 --> 01:33:15,958
Hmm.
1506
01:33:16,833 --> 01:33:18,250
It could get worse.
1507
01:33:30,875 --> 01:33:33,917
Well, sir, I guess we did it again.
1508
01:33:35,917 --> 01:33:38,292
You know, you three
are wearing the wrong uniforms.
1509
01:33:38,375 --> 01:33:39,917
You should be in the Boy Scouts.
1510
01:33:40,000 --> 01:33:41,625
Another rescuer?
1511
01:33:41,708 --> 01:33:44,875
Why don't they send in some Americans
who'd know what they were doing?
1512
01:33:44,958 --> 01:33:47,708
Well, they're holding back
the first team
1513
01:33:47,792 --> 01:33:50,042
to give us substitutes
a little experience.
1514
01:33:52,125 --> 01:33:53,167
I'm ready.
1515
01:33:56,083 --> 01:33:57,292
I travel light.
1516
01:33:57,875 --> 01:33:59,875
You stay here till I get back.
1517
01:33:59,958 --> 01:34:02,333
Wait a minute, you can't leave
without me, I'm your prisoner.
1518
01:34:02,417 --> 01:34:04,500
I'm turning you over to them.
1519
01:34:04,583 --> 01:34:06,125
And if I don't get back,
1520
01:34:06,208 --> 01:34:08,917
I recommend prayer as the most
hopeful course of action.
1521
01:34:09,917 --> 01:34:11,292
If you don't mind. Thank you.
1522
01:34:12,000 --> 01:34:14,125
We have the power!
1523
01:34:14,208 --> 01:34:18,250
We must use it!
Death to the tyrants!
1524
01:34:18,333 --> 01:34:21,375
Death to the imperialists!
1525
01:34:21,458 --> 01:34:23,958
Put them all before a firing squad!
1526
01:34:24,042 --> 01:34:25,958
- Kill the Colonel!
- Shoot them all!
1527
01:34:26,042 --> 01:34:27,917
Down with the government!
1528
01:34:30,375 --> 01:34:32,208
An imperialist!
1529
01:34:34,083 --> 01:34:35,458
Alberto!
1530
01:34:41,250 --> 01:34:42,917
Imperialist!
1531
01:34:43,000 --> 01:34:44,417
I must remind you,
1532
01:34:44,500 --> 01:34:46,042
this is a flag of truce, you know.
1533
01:34:46,125 --> 01:34:48,625
There is no flag of truce between us!
1534
01:34:50,250 --> 01:34:51,667
Well, that's a pity.
1535
01:34:51,750 --> 01:34:53,500
For you, of course.
1536
01:34:53,583 --> 01:34:56,958
There happen to be a number
of heavy guns trained in this direction.
1537
01:34:57,042 --> 01:34:58,542
They make more noise than you do.
1538
01:34:58,625 --> 01:35:01,708
You won't talk our people into slavery.
1539
01:35:01,792 --> 01:35:04,000
No! No!
1540
01:35:04,083 --> 01:35:07,167
Farthest thing from my mind, dear boy.
For you.
1541
01:35:07,250 --> 01:35:08,333
Thank you.
1542
01:35:08,417 --> 01:35:11,000
Now, if you'll just let me
cross to the palace,
1543
01:35:11,083 --> 01:35:13,667
I think a few differences of opinion
might be resolved
1544
01:35:13,750 --> 01:35:16,208
without a lot of corpses being
strewn hither and yon.
1545
01:35:16,292 --> 01:35:18,708
No, no, you are the enemy.
1546
01:35:18,792 --> 01:35:19,833
Yes!
1547
01:35:19,917 --> 01:35:22,750
You can have just as much fun
making an example of me
1548
01:35:22,833 --> 01:35:24,042
when I return from the palace.
1549
01:35:24,125 --> 01:35:26,208
Martyrdom can wait for both of us.
1550
01:35:26,292 --> 01:35:28,000
What have you got to lose?
1551
01:35:28,083 --> 01:35:30,833
You wouldn't have those heavy guns
spoil your show.
1552
01:35:30,917 --> 01:35:32,958
We have your word you will come out?
1553
01:35:33,042 --> 01:35:34,542
The solemn oath of an imperialist.
1554
01:35:34,625 --> 01:35:36,333
Oh!
1555
01:35:38,458 --> 01:35:40,458
He may be lying.
1556
01:35:40,542 --> 01:35:44,333
But get a rope to hang him
just in case he's telling the truth.
1557
01:35:44,417 --> 01:35:45,625
Let the Englishman speak!
1558
01:35:45,708 --> 01:35:47,792
Alberto, lead the way!
1559
01:35:47,875 --> 01:35:49,083
Imperialist...
1560
01:35:56,958 --> 01:35:58,417
Oh, imperialist...
1561
01:35:58,500 --> 01:35:59,667
[f laughs]
1562
01:36:01,042 --> 01:36:02,250
Good luck.
1563
01:36:04,625 --> 01:36:06,042
I think he's made it.
1564
01:36:12,083 --> 01:36:14,708
How can he take such a chance
when I'm his prisoner?
1565
01:36:14,792 --> 01:36:17,042
Doesn't he care what happens to me?
1566
01:36:37,167 --> 01:36:38,708
Lieutenant Commander Badger, sir.
1567
01:36:38,792 --> 01:36:42,083
Her Majesty's Royal Navy,
on duty with the American fleet.
1568
01:36:42,167 --> 01:36:44,625
I am the President of a sovereign state
1569
01:36:44,708 --> 01:36:46,500
and I refuse your ultimatum.
1570
01:36:46,583 --> 01:36:48,917
We haven't presented one.
1571
01:36:49,000 --> 01:36:51,167
A mere technicality.
1572
01:36:52,417 --> 01:36:55,208
I expect you will observe
the Geneva Convention
1573
01:36:55,292 --> 01:36:58,208
and give reasonable warning
before you commence shelling.
1574
01:36:58,292 --> 01:37:00,125
In fact, I insist upon it.
1575
01:37:00,208 --> 01:37:02,250
Oh, with respect, sir,
1576
01:37:02,333 --> 01:37:05,458
we would like to explore a solution
which would avoid bloodshed.
1577
01:37:06,375 --> 01:37:09,625
Well done, Alberto. This will prove...
1578
01:37:09,708 --> 01:37:11,042
For me?
1579
01:37:11,125 --> 01:37:12,792
I wish I thought so.
1580
01:37:12,875 --> 01:37:15,083
They wouldn't dare. Not to the Badger.
1581
01:37:16,042 --> 01:37:17,917
Well, I don't know what we can do.
1582
01:37:18,625 --> 01:37:20,208
But he's not going out there alone.
1583
01:37:21,250 --> 01:37:22,417
Come on!
1584
01:37:29,250 --> 01:37:32,500
Ah, an honest imperialist!
1585
01:37:34,500 --> 01:37:37,333
Everything is ready now for your hanging.
1586
01:37:37,417 --> 01:37:40,000
- Alberto, prepare the rope!
- Hang him up!
1587
01:37:42,375 --> 01:37:45,292
We've got the rope!
Ah, up with him, lads.
1588
01:37:46,125 --> 01:37:50,292
If you chaps would postpone
the festivities arranged in my honour,
1589
01:37:50,375 --> 01:37:53,208
I think we might all have
a much somewhat brighter future.
1590
01:37:53,292 --> 01:37:55,500
Time to get bright after you hang!
1591
01:37:58,208 --> 01:37:59,500
Wait just one moment!
1592
01:37:59,583 --> 01:38:03,583
You realise you're hanging your hopes
to a peaceful end to all this?
1593
01:38:03,667 --> 01:38:07,333
You'll prove to the world we mean business.
1594
01:38:07,417 --> 01:38:10,750
Cheer up, you're practically a martyr!
1595
01:38:15,750 --> 01:38:17,292
Three more!
1596
01:38:17,375 --> 01:38:19,083
Ah, but only three!
1597
01:38:19,167 --> 01:38:21,583
Do you think you can kill us all?
1598
01:38:21,667 --> 01:38:23,542
...| say!
1599
01:38:23,625 --> 01:38:26,667
Let him go and nobody gets killed.
1600
01:38:26,750 --> 01:38:29,083
Are we afraid to die?
1601
01:38:31,042 --> 01:38:35,250
Will we let three men stand
in our revolutionary path?
1602
01:38:36,750 --> 01:38:39,833
Go on, my men! Go on!
1603
01:38:44,708 --> 01:38:47,042
Clear out, the three of you,
while the going's good!
1604
01:38:47,125 --> 01:38:48,250
That's an order!
1605
01:38:48,333 --> 01:38:50,750
My good people,
1606
01:38:50,833 --> 01:38:53,667
this is the father of your country.
1607
01:38:53,750 --> 01:38:55,042
Shut up!
1608
01:38:55,125 --> 01:38:59,792
I mean, listen to my message
which I have carefully prepared.
1609
01:38:59,875 --> 01:39:04,083
I have searched my soul
to find the best path
1610
01:39:04,167 --> 01:39:07,042
for you, my children, to follow.
1611
01:39:07,125 --> 01:39:11,000
I have even considered
leaving this beloved country.
1612
01:39:13,167 --> 01:39:16,042
Don't be so happy,
I'm not going anywhere.
1613
01:39:20,958 --> 01:39:23,583
That settles it! Hang them all!
1614
01:39:28,417 --> 01:39:29,875
Wait!
1615
01:39:29,958 --> 01:39:34,500
I am proposing a summit meeting
between all parties concerned.
1616
01:39:34,583 --> 01:39:36,708
With Lieutenant Commander Badger
1617
01:39:36,792 --> 01:39:40,500
as chairman to guarantee
neutrality and fairness.
1618
01:39:40,583 --> 01:39:43,958
There will be present that
pipsqueak brother of mine,
1619
01:39:44,042 --> 01:39:47,583
the Colonel, who thinks he knows
how to run a revolution.
1620
01:39:47,667 --> 01:39:49,000
I accept!
1621
01:39:49,083 --> 01:39:50,792
But he is the pipsqueak!
1622
01:39:50,875 --> 01:39:54,000
I am the patriot! I pray!
1623
01:39:55,125 --> 01:39:57,458
They are both pipsqueaks!
1624
01:39:57,542 --> 01:39:59,667
- Do we need them?
- No!
1625
01:39:59,750 --> 01:40:03,750
Also, at this meeting will
be a chosen representative
1626
01:40:03,833 --> 01:40:07,458
of the people now assembled
in the town square.
1627
01:40:07,542 --> 01:40:12,000
A coalition government will be formed
and all will have an equal voice.
1628
01:40:13,250 --> 01:40:15,375
I go to the summit
1629
01:40:15,458 --> 01:40:18,333
to bring our people a new deal!
1630
01:40:18,417 --> 01:40:21,208
And with it a new tech
venture day!
1631
01:40:26,833 --> 01:40:28,417
I don't think we need a Navy, sir.
1632
01:40:28,500 --> 01:40:30,792
If you were a captain,
you could patrol the world alone.
1633
01:40:30,875 --> 01:40:33,333
Three more midshipmen like you
and I'd have to.
1634
01:41:08,625 --> 01:41:11,417
Lieutenant Commander Badger,
front and centre.
1635
01:41:21,417 --> 01:41:23,667
In recognition of outstanding performance
1636
01:41:23,750 --> 01:41:26,583
in the highest tradition
of our peacetime Navy,
1637
01:41:26,667 --> 01:41:29,583
my government is pleased
to confer this honour upon you.
1638
01:41:51,250 --> 01:41:54,125
And if you're ever transferred
from Dartmouth again,
1639
01:41:54,208 --> 01:41:55,917
I hope it'll be to my command.
1640
01:41:56,000 --> 01:41:57,625
Thank you, sir.
1641
01:42:15,708 --> 01:42:18,833
Ship's company dismissed!
1642
01:42:20,583 --> 01:42:23,250
- Congratulations, sir!
- Couldn't have done it with you!
1643
01:42:39,667 --> 01:42:42,500
Have all the honours and attention
made you forget those questions
1644
01:42:42,583 --> 01:42:43,667
you were going to ask me?
1645
01:42:43,750 --> 01:42:44,792
Not at all.
1646
01:42:44,875 --> 01:42:46,583
I've even added a new one.
1647
01:42:46,667 --> 01:42:49,333
How do you feel about life
at a naval academy?
1648
01:43:01,375 --> 01:43:03,083
Left, right, left!
1649
01:43:03,167 --> 01:43:04,750
Left, right, left!
1650
01:43:04,833 --> 01:43:07,167
Left, right, left!
1651
01:43:15,750 --> 01:43:17,458
Squad, halt!
1652
01:43:19,833 --> 01:43:21,458
Right... turn!
1653
01:43:27,292 --> 01:43:28,750
Commander Badger, sir.
1654
01:43:28,833 --> 01:43:31,292
Well, Acting Sub-Lieutenant Dewberry?
1655
01:43:31,375 --> 01:43:34,208
I don't like to say this, sir,
but we're very worried about you,
1656
01:43:34,292 --> 01:43:35,875
very worried indeed.
1657
01:43:35,958 --> 01:43:39,167
When they start worrying about me,
that's when I start worrying.
1658
01:43:39,250 --> 01:43:40,958
There's usually a very good reason for it.
1659
01:43:41,042 --> 01:43:42,458
If not, they go out and create one.
1660
01:43:42,542 --> 01:43:44,292
Well, you see, sir,
now you're back at Dartmouth
1661
01:43:44,375 --> 01:43:45,750
and you're in charge of these new cadets...
1662
01:43:45,833 --> 01:43:47,708
Well, we just don't want you
to get into trouble, sir.
1663
01:43:47,792 --> 01:43:49,167
We've looked them over, sir.
1664
01:43:49,250 --> 01:43:52,042
They're a terribly scruffy lot.
Look like halfwits.
1665
01:43:52,125 --> 01:43:53,792
The Navy must be getting
short of recruits.
1666
01:43:53,875 --> 01:43:57,375
He's quite right, sir, I don't know
what the school's do to them these days.
1667
01:43:57,458 --> 01:44:00,250
It'll take five years to make them
any use to man or beast.
1668
01:44:00,333 --> 01:44:01,583
Well, look at them!
1669
01:44:01,667 --> 01:44:04,000
Get your feet together!
1670
01:44:04,083 --> 01:44:06,042
Look up, stand still, get your chest out,
1671
01:44:06,125 --> 01:44:07,625
bring your shoulders back!
1672
01:44:07,708 --> 01:44:11,250
Congratulations,
I'm convinced you'll all be Admirals.
1673
01:44:11,333 --> 01:44:13,458
You already sound like several I've heard.
1674
01:44:13,542 --> 01:44:15,333
I don't quite understand, sir.
1675
01:44:15,417 --> 01:44:17,708
Admirals never do, right?
1676
01:44:17,792 --> 01:44:19,083
Right.
1677
01:44:21,708 --> 01:44:24,250
Do you think he'll be able
to manage without us?130133
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