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1
00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:03,045
♪ All day, all night ♪
2
00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:04,630
Junior: When it comes to dating,it used to be that all a guy
3
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:07,382
could hope for was a light peckon the first date.
4
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:10,302
But if there's one thing I'velearned in my time at Cal U,
5
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:13,680
it's that hookup cultureis real.
6
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,557
[ Screaming ]
7
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,018
Let's just say that the timeuntil tip-off
8
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,728
is significantly shorter.
9
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,648
Less talking.
Let's get these pants off.
10
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:24,858
Uh...
11
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,276
And I ain't mad at that.
12
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:32,658
Well, this has certainly been
a lovely evening.
13
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:37,246
If you want, I can come up
if you want to get down.
14
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:40,499
Um, I don't think
I'm up for it tonight.
15
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,125
Oh, okay.
That's cool.
16
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,335
We did have burritos.
17
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:45,045
All that sour cream.
18
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,421
No, it's not that.
19
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:51,009
I'm just having
a -- a herpes flare-up.
20
00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,594
Herpes?
Mm-hmm.
21
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,930
Like, um --
Like "herpes" herpes?
22
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:57,516
Yeah.
23
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,810
You're not gonna freak out
about this, are you?
24
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,144
Yes!
25
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,522
No!
No, no, no, no, no, no.
26
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:06,191
Wow. Uh, I just feel like
I would remember,
27
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:08,402
you know,
you telling me last week
28
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:12,072
that you had herpes
when we had sex.
29
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,492
Well, that's because
when we hooked up,
30
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,869
I didn't have an outbreak
and we used protection,
31
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,747
so the chances of you getting it
were relatively small.
32
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:21,748
Relatively?
33
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,042
Girl, what are you,
S-Sir Isaac Newton?
34
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,043
Why didn't you tell me?
35
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,628
Because
I shouldn't have to.
36
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:29,089
I'm the one living with it,
and we were safe.
37
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,216
Plus herpes,
herpes, herpes.
38
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:34,177
[ Echoing ] Herpes, herpes,
herpes, herpes, herpes, herpes,
39
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:37,306
herpes, herpes, herpes,
herpes, herpes. [Bleep]
40
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:41,018
♪ Watch out, world,
I'm grown now ♪
41
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,519
♪ I'm grown ♪
42
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,938
♪ Learn something new
every day ♪
43
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,691
♪ I don't know,
so I'mma feel my way ♪
44
00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:50,193
♪ Got the weight of the world
on me ♪
45
00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:53,280
♪ But no regrets,
this is what I say ♪
46
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,950
♪ Watch out, world,
I'm grown now ♪
47
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,577
♪ I'm grown ♪
♪ You can tell me ♪
48
00:01:58,577 --> 00:02:04,249
♪ My heart beating so loud ♪
49
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,794
♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪
50
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,171
♪ I'm grown ♪
51
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:15,344
Guys, I just got the worst news
a guy can get.
52
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,095
Oh, you found out
Batman isn't real?
53
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,639
Oh, your mom
is mad at you!
54
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,765
Uh, no.
55
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:21,725
No, no.
56
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:26,313
Candice may have possibly
exposed me to an STI.
57
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:30,317
[ Laughs ]
That's hilarious.
58
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,652
I mean I'm so sorry
to hear that.
59
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,487
Are you okay?
I don't know.
60
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:36,031
My junk could possibly be
a World Health Organization
61
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,199
hot zone for all I know.
62
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,201
Come on, man, it's not
that big of a deal.
63
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,410
Just go get you a Z-Pak.
64
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,454
You know, you get the clap,
gotta clap back.
65
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,164
Yeah, dude, just go
to the health center,
66
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,374
ask for Nurse Tessa.
67
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:48,168
She is the second most
popular girl at this school.
68
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,461
Yeah, uh, you know
what's funny about that.
69
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,213
I don't know if, uh...
70
00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:54,257
I don't know if the Z-Pak
is gonna cover it.
71
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,802
She may have exposed me
to herpes.
72
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,387
Oh!
God is good.
73
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,013
Junior: Wait a second.
Wait a second.
74
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,848
You guys just said
it wasn't a big deal.
75
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,017
Zeke: I-I mean, it wasn't,
when it was, you know,
76
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,228
your garden-variety chlamydias
and gonorrheas,
77
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,855
but this is not the move.
78
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,107
[ Sighs ]
79
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,234
This is so unfair.
[ Scoffs ]
80
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:13,985
I do everything right.
81
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:16,488
I'm responsible.
82
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:17,823
I wear condoms.
83
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,449
I think we are beyond
whispering,
84
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,118
my little S-T-Diva.
85
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,496
Sure, they prevent some STIs,
but they're not foolproof.
86
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,123
You know what
is foolproof?
87
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,749
Please don't say Jesus.
88
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:31,378
The only way to not get an STD
is to not S the D.
89
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,379
We knew what was coming.
90
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,381
That's my youth pastor
always said.
91
00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,507
You basically said Jesus.
92
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,467
Being responsible
goes both ways, Junior.
93
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,677
You're awfully judgey
for someone
94
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,178
who didn't even know
his own status.
95
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:42,639
Okay, so it's cool that
this girl is out here
96
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,267
tossing around herpes like free
T-shirts at a Clippers game?
97
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,268
That's what I'm saying.
98
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,227
- Hey.
- Right.
99
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,354
When you go for a ride
on Splash Mountain,
100
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,231
sometimes you get wet.
101
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,442
Sploosh.
Uh...
102
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:54,901
Honestly, all this
just makes me happy that
103
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,361
Black people
can't get cold sores.
104
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,447
No one take medical advice
from him.
105
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:02,325
♪♪
106
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,619
Aaron W. Jackson.
107
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,371
You're a hard man
to track down.
108
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,999
Oh, shit, are you -- are you
from the FBI?
109
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,792
Okay, listen, I swear to you
that the tweet
110
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,461
I posted about punching
Clarence Thomas in the throat,
111
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,503
it was -- it was a joke.
112
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,838
Uh-huh.
Purely.
113
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,298
Symone Andrews.
114
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,967
I run our panels for Diversity
and Inclusion at Metaverse,
115
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,511
and your speech
at headquarters last month
116
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,555
really sent shock waves
through the company.
117
00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:25,724
Mm.
Thank you.
118
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:28,435
So you came all the way from
Seattle to give me a compliment?
119
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,729
No, no, no.
Um, I'm here because
120
00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,731
I'd like to put you
on another panel,
121
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,317
but you stopped responding
to everyone's e-mails.
122
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:36,693
I mean, I'm starting to
take this personally.
123
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,237
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm just not -- not interested.
124
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,697
Okay. Why?
125
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,325
Well, because the company
that you work for builds profits
126
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,701
off the backs
of working-class people
127
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,536
while also donating
to political candidates
128
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:49,080
who essentially are
destroying this country.
129
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,375
Okay, okay. Well,
um, the school you work for
130
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,668
literally
built its profits
131
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:56,379
off the backs of inmates
at San Quentin, so...
132
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,006
Right.
Well, that's why --
133
00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,550
I mean, I organized
the orange jumpsuit demonstration.
134
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,261
Yeah, but you still
took the job here.
135
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,263
Because just like me,
you realize that the best way
136
00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:09,351
to effect change
is from the inside.
137
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,395
So, how about this?
138
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,105
Meet me here tomorrow,
139
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:17,359
and if what I have to show you
doesn't change your mind,
140
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:20,362
then I promise
I'll stop stalking you.
141
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:22,072
Yeah.
142
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,450
Hmm.
143
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,452
♪♪
144
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,620
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
145
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,289
Annika: [ Scoffs ] Junior.
Who needs men anyway?
146
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,541
I got this.
147
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:33,750
♪ Nah-nah, nah-nah ♪
148
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,876
♪ Love it when you... ♪
[ Blows ]
149
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,295
♪ I believe the time has come,
let's get weird ♪
150
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,338
Let's do this.
151
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,506
♪ Let's get weird ♪
152
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,674
[ Vibrating ]
153
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,802
Is your...temperature
rising?
154
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:46,346
[ Sighs ]
No, that's not right.
155
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,849
You look like you need
to be hosed down.
156
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,476
Nope, really dry over here.
157
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,395
I'm just an emotionally
available guy
158
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,354
who goes to therapy.
159
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,523
Ugh!
What's wrong with me?
160
00:05:56,523 --> 00:06:01,236
♪♪
161
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:04,114
After a good night's sleep
and a deep dive on WebMD,
162
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,241
I was pretty sure
I didn't have herpes.
163
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:09,327
But possibly a tilted uterus?
164
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,829
Oh, no!
165
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,414
Oh, my God!
Was that there before?
166
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,999
That wasn't there before.
167
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:14,916
Oh!
168
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,211
I think I need
a second opinion.
169
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:22,507
Doug: Hmm.
170
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,009
It was either this
or calling my mom,
171
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,553
and I might've made
the wrong choice.
172
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,392
Huh. Interesting.
173
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,269
If you think about it,
Aaron's probably gonna be
174
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,478
my brother-in-law one day,
175
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:38,148
and Doug, he was just here.
176
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,233
It just looks like
a mild razor burn to me.
177
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,276
What do you think?
178
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:42,736
Unless you're chafing.
Are you a chafer?
179
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,488
Come on, guys,
I need to know.
180
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:46,948
Okay?
181
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:49,200
I have never played this game
before.
182
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,744
Like Frisbee golf.
183
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:54,247
Wait. Why are you even
coming to us for this?
184
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,540
Great question.
Your mom is a doctor.
185
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:56,791
Why isn't she doing this?
186
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,126
I just got
a little nervous.
187
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,378
I haven't gotten
my test results back yet.
188
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,880
Hmm.
Wait, you already got tested?
189
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,090
I just thought
you didn't have insurance.
190
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:04,966
What are bros for?
191
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,593
Literally anything else
but this.
192
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,095
Not that.
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
193
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:14,559
Uh, Candice is checking in
to see if I'm free tonight.
194
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,977
Don't even answer that.
Don't do it.
195
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,855
Okay, okay, a little harsh,
but I think he's right.
196
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:21,358
I think ghosting is
an appropriate move
197
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:22,651
in this particular
situation.
198
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:23,610
Guys,
are you kidding me?
199
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,612
What other girl is gonna be down
if I do have it?
200
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,197
Hmm.
We're basically together.
201
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,115
It's like Candice
locked me down with a kid,
202
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,743
except my herpes aren't gonna
grow up to become president.
203
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,119
I wouldn't sweat it.
204
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,621
Bro, I mean, yes,
you're benched right now,
205
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,539
but once you're cleared
for play,
206
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,291
you're gonna be back --
wa-ow! --
207
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,376
sinking threes.
208
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,252
Swish.
209
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,587
Thanks.
210
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,047
Yeah.
211
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:44,923
[ Claps hands ]
212
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,425
[ Clicks tongue,
smacks lips ]
213
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,469
[ Humming ]
214
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,890
Well...
215
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,225
it's a little
awkward now.
216
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,143
Yeah.
Um...
217
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,812
I guess I should leave
before it gets worse.
218
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,188
Yeah.
I didn't want to say it. Yeah, okay.
219
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:03,983
Well, gentlemen, I, uh --
I bid you adieu.
220
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,195
I made it worse,
didn't I?
221
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:07,987
Yeah, you did.
Yeah.
222
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:08,822
Okay.
223
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,949
Just leave, please.
224
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:16,454
[ Door opens, closes ]
Somehow, I blame Zoey for this.
225
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,708
Okay.
226
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,127
I'm gonna grab
a few more of these.
227
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,420
Hi, how you doing?
228
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,672
Oh!
229
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,465
You know, I wasn't sure
you were gonna show.
230
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:28,633
Neither was I.
231
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,510
Okay.
What is all this?
232
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,179
Oh, well, this is
your next few hours.
233
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,557
We're gonna put a little good
into the world.
234
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,392
Oh.
235
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,519
You're full of surprises.
236
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,438
Just you wait.
Alright.
237
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:45,400
'Cause, um, surprise number one,
surprise number two.
238
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,152
I got you.
239
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,406
Hey.
240
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:54,659
Oh,
what's up with you?
241
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,703
Okay, damn.
242
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,538
I am so frustrated.
243
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,622
Nothing is working.
244
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,999
I've tried everything,
245
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,585
but I think my spank bank
is overdrawn.
246
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,462
Well, maybe you need
a new visual aid.
247
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,671
I find
the Old Spice commercials
248
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:10,425
or Jake from State Farm
really do the trick.
249
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,634
Okay, stop.
Khakis?
250
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,471
No, what she needs
is porn.
251
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,347
Hear me clearly.
252
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,725
SmutPile.net, okay?
253
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:22,604
Search --
Search "woke girl gets pounded."
254
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:23,855
Lauryn: Oh, my God.
255
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,398
Sometimes I wonder
if I should've gone
256
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,566
to a Christian university.
257
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:30,153
Okay, I'm not a porcelain doll
like Lauryn, but that shook me.
258
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,988
It's categories like that
that make me not want
259
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,823
to watch porn
in the first place.
260
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,117
Most of it is just
a misogynist haunted house.
261
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,703
I don't need my fantasies
to be politically correct.
262
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:39,788
It's just --
263
00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,581
You know, it's called
role play for a reason.
264
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,750
You watch something nasty.
It's -- It's like junk food.
265
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,543
Zaara:
But it doesn't have to be.
266
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:46,920
You could go farm-to-table
with it.
267
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,630
If you're willing to pay,
there's a lot of really
268
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:49,839
awesome stuff out there --
269
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:54,552
hard-core, feminist, POC action
made by and for women.
270
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,055
I'm an ally,
but no thanks.
271
00:09:57,055 --> 00:10:00,141
Still, I need to figure this out
because I am dangerously close
272
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,435
to hooking up with a random guy
just to get off.
273
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,687
[ Clears throat ]
274
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,564
No, Lon.
275
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,024
Zaara: Forget Lon.
276
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:11,694
You just need to find
what works for you.
277
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,780
I don't know what
the problem is.
278
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,365
Maybe my vagina's broken.
279
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,700
Maybe it's not your vagina.
Maybe it's your heart.
280
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,577
They are two sides
of the same coin.
281
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,289
You know what it?
[Bleep] it.
282
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,458
Kiela, what's the name
of that website
283
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,292
that you were talking about?
284
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,627
Smutpile.com?
285
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:30,755
No, no, no, no,
it's Smutpile.net.
286
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,799
You do not want
to go to Smutpile.com.
287
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:36,344
It's just --
That place gets dark, so...
288
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:37,971
Lauryn: Well, you know
what always works for me?
289
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,598
The basic-cable version
of "Magic Mike."
290
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,559
Straight people
are a disease.
291
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:49,732
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
292
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:53,653
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
293
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,654
What's up, my man?
294
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,906
Got some stuff for ya.
295
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,033
Alright.
You have a good one. Thank you.
296
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,788
Whew.
297
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,165
Can you believe that?
298
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,207
Can't believe we fed --
what? --
299
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,751
like ninety--
98 families today.
300
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:09,711
I mean,
it would've been 99,
301
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,005
but that vegan family
caught us slipping.
302
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,506
Man, I haven't done stuff
like this since my mom
303
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,841
used to make me volunteer
at the women's center
304
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,134
every time I left
the toilet seat up.
305
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,385
You know everything
we did today
306
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,387
came from Metaverse
corporate responsibility.
307
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,471
Oh, did it? Metaverse?
308
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,723
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
309
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:22,891
Look, I just wanted you to see
that there's many ways
310
00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,392
to make change.
311
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,561
I mean, sure, but come on,
this cost the company
312
00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:29,147
less than one private jet,
and they only do it to look good
313
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:32,108
so that people will pipe down
about the billions of dollars
314
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,735
that they are dodging
in taxes every year.
315
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:34,986
You're right, you're right.
316
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,154
But, um, what feels better?
317
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:39,866
Being right or helping people,
huh?
318
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:40,992
It's not like that.
319
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,203
Okay, let me just tell you
how I used to feel.
320
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,914
I was working for Black Lives
Matter and eventually --
321
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:46,915
Wait, wait, wait, what?
322
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,876
You -- You worked
for Black Lives Matter?
323
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,336
Yeah.
324
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,630
I used to work with
the Kansas City chapter.
325
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:56,257
I mean, after Ferguson,
I knew I had to take action, so.
326
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,467
Uh, no offense.
327
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,761
You don't look like the type
to hold a megaphone.
328
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:02,722
Oh, whoa, okay, don't let
the high heels fool you.
329
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:03,806
I get down.
Oh, you get down?
330
00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,808
Yes.
Alright.
331
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:07,018
Okay, so let me
get this straight.
332
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,604
You -- You left BLM,
Black Lives Matter...
333
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:10,772
Mm-hmm.
334
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,607
...to go to Metaverse?
335
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,776
Yeah.
Why?
336
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:18,238
Because I found a way to use
this company's massive name
337
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,449
and resources to actually
do something good.
338
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,785
Hmm.
Okay.
339
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,828
I guess we actually have more
in common than I thought.
340
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,247
Exactly.
341
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,207
Which is why I wanted to
bring you on to our team
342
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,668
to do a series of talks
with our C-level executives.
343
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:33,628
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, they need to understand
344
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:36,214
that diversity can improve
not only our communities
345
00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,882
but our profit margins, too,
you know?
346
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,008
Yes, yes, I hear you,
347
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,260
I totally hear you,
but I just --
348
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,886
I don't --
Hey, hey, okay.
349
00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,097
Look,
I really respect you,
350
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,807
which is why
I want to work together,
351
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,767
but I don't want you
to do anything
352
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,727
that you're not
comfortable with,
353
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:52,939
so how about
you think about it?
354
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,440
For me.
355
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,903
Hmm?
356
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,406
Okay.
Okay.
357
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:04,117
I'll think about it
for you.
358
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:11,165
[ Keyboard clacking ]
359
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:11,958
Oh, God.
360
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,042
Oh, God, oh, God!
361
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,794
My test results came in.
362
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:15,795
Oh, wow!
363
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,588
I have not been this nervous
about a test
364
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:18,840
since the Sorting Hat.
365
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,133
Will you hold my hand?
366
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:21,926
[ Sighs ]
I am begging you
367
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,803
to honor the boundaries
we discussed.
368
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,764
Oh, come on, come on,
come on.
369
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,100
Yes! Oh! Yes!
370
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,351
Wow!
371
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:32,645
I am cleaner than the pee
that Zeke buys
372
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,981
to pass his drug tests.
373
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,274
I'm glad your test
came back negative,
374
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:38,943
but you don't need to act
like you are not the father.
375
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,528
Oh, I could handle a kid.
376
00:13:40,528 --> 00:13:42,572
This is a bigger deal.
377
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:44,949
What?
378
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,118
I have a right to be happy
about this.
379
00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,078
I am not radioactive.
380
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,913
Do you hear yourself?
381
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,915
What if you had herpes?
382
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:56,586
Would that make you
undateable?
383
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:57,587
I mean...
384
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:58,838
Junior.
385
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,383
You didn't even get to know this
girl before you canceled her.
386
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,218
Why not slow down
on the smash-and-dash
387
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:07,805
and just enjoy the meal?
388
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,682
You know,
maybe you're right.
389
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,184
I'm always right.
390
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,646
Candice is cool.
391
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,315
She's funny.
392
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,108
She's hot.
393
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,360
Maybe I should give this
a real chance.
394
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:27,200
♪♪
395
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,951
[ Cellphone swooshes ]
396
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,870
[ Door opens ]
397
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:31,829
Where you been?
398
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,122
Eww!
399
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,624
Why you smell like
government cheese?
400
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,627
One of the execs from
Metaverse tracked me down,
401
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:41,047
tricked me into doing manual
labor for the last four hours.
402
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,507
That's giving slavery,
my guy.
403
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:44,884
It's actually the most fun
I've had in -- in a while, dude.
404
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,427
Mm.
405
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,805
Plus, Symone, the, uh --
the exec, she's dope, man.
406
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,848
She's driven, she's smart.
407
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,975
She's interesting, not afraid
to call me out on my shit.
408
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,019
Hmm. Okay.
Yeah.
409
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:58,648
You know, I-I wonder how Zoey
would feel about this smart,
410
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:02,026
interesting, not afraid to call
you out on your shit female.
411
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,194
It's not like that.
Oh.
412
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,529
I promise.
We -- We just --
413
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:07,073
We got a lot in common is all.
We argued about, uh,
414
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,825
who had bigger influence
in South Africa.
415
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,285
We know Zoey's definitely not
the "chop it up about
416
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,912
South Africa"
kind of girl.
417
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:13,996
That's not Zoey.
418
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,206
Nah, nah, she is not.
419
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:19,377
She, uh -- She thinks
Desmond Tutu is a fashion house.
420
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,378
Okay.
421
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,963
♪♪
422
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,381
Don't "okay" me
like that, man.
423
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:24,882
Okay.
Dude, for real, alright?
424
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,343
Everything is good.
425
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,178
One afternoon of me passing out
Bush's Baked Beans
426
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,973
is not gonna undo everything
I've built with Zoey.
427
00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:34,267
Just some charity work.
428
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,435
Okay.
429
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,020
Alright.
430
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,022
Normally when Candace and Iget together,
431
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,191
we're on a fast trackto smash town
432
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,152
but tonight, we're takingthe scenic route
433
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,070
and actually getting to knoweach other.
434
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:49,031
Ooh, season two of
"Blind, Drunk Love" is out.
435
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,616
Should we watch that?
436
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:54,495
Hmm, yeah, I'm not really
a reality-TV type of person.
437
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,038
Oh, okay.
438
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,207
Um, what about a movie?
439
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:02,670
Hmm, the cult classic
"Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again"!
440
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,131
Is that a musical?
Yeah.
441
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,925
I actually don't like music,
so...
442
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,135
Okay.
443
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,345
Uh, so what would you
like to watch?
444
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:14,307
Oh, I don't care. You choose.
I'm not picky.
445
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,143
♪♪
446
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,936
It's a little chilly in here.
447
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,479
Oh, I got you.
448
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:24,192
♪♪
449
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:26,277
Here you go.
450
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:28,946
Was this ethically made?
I don't know.
451
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:31,908
Actually would you mind just,
um, turning off the A/C?
452
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,409
Sure, yeah, I will cross
453
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,244
right past you
to get to the thermostat.
454
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:38,206
Oh, I know you like
taking care of me.
455
00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:39,498
I do.
456
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,584
And I expect to be treated
a certain way.
457
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:44,462
My guru Kimberly has really
had me working on my boundaries.
458
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:45,963
Mm-hmm.
459
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,882
And hey, I'm not saying I want
you to treat me like a princess,
460
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,759
but princess
princess princess.
461
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,178
Princess princess princess,
princess princess,
462
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:55,306
princess princess,
princess princess, princess.
463
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:56,849
[Quietly] Please help me.
464
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,267
Alright, my guy.
465
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,393
Aaron: Thank you.
Got you.
466
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,978
Trying to stay
on the diet, man.
467
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:02,355
I just --
468
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,733
It all --
It all goes there.
469
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:06,943
I need a beer.
470
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,778
Oh, you tested positive?
No.
471
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:11,072
But just so you know,
Mario does not give an accurate
472
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:15,117
representation of what it is
like to date a princess.
473
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,452
What?
474
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,995
I went out with Candice again,
and it was trash.
475
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,039
Candice the walking Petri dish
we told you to ghost?
476
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,415
Yes, sir.
477
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,501
But I decided that
you two were idiots
478
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,503
and that I wanted to get to know
her a little bit better,
479
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,672
but I didn't like
what I found.
480
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,257
I mean, but who doesn't
like music?
481
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:31,050
She doesn't like music?
482
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,301
Does she have herpes
on her soul?
483
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:33,511
I wouldn't trust her.
484
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:34,637
Yeah, but, bro,
it's not that deep.
485
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,097
You have plenty of other girls
to vibe with.
486
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,848
It's fine.
487
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:40,017
Yeah, plenty of other girls
I've been hooking up with,
488
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:43,020
but nobody that I've really had
a connection with recently.
489
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:46,190
I guess if I -- if I got herpes
because I was with somebody
490
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,317
that I wanted to spend the rest
of my life with, then so be it,
491
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:52,280
but I've not been
trying to find someone
492
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,990
that I'm trying to spend
the rest of my life with.
493
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,283
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
494
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:58,077
Just not cut out
for the savage life.
495
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,579
No, no, no, no, no,
alright?
496
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,206
We do not retire from the game
before the fourth quarter.
497
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,542
No, seriously, Doug, when --
when were you happier?
498
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,586
When you were single,
out there playing the field,
499
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,504
or when you were
with Jazz?
500
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,756
Yeah, you know what?
He's right.
501
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:11,924
Intimacy isn't just
about the physical.
502
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,051
Zoey is my boo
but she's also my best friend,
503
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,053
which is why it works.
504
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,346
Exactly.
505
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:21,058
But I blew it with Annika
because I thought it was
506
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:24,812
more important
to live that player life
507
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,188
while I still could.
508
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:30,818
♪♪
509
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,529
When you're young,people always say
510
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:36,115
not to take relationshipstoo seriously.
511
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,867
"Just have fun."
512
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,913
But that doesn't workfor everyone.
513
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,959
[ Woman moaning ]
514
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,377
Hey, Annika.
Junior!
515
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,129
You can't just walk into
people's rooms like that.
516
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,757
What if I'd been --
What if you'd been what?
517
00:18:52,757 --> 00:19:09,148
♪♪
518
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,232
[ Buzzing ]
519
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,526
[ Moans ]
520
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,614
Oh, shit!
521
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,157
[ Buzzing stops ]
522
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,408
♪ You, you, you ♪
523
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:23,162
And sometimes you can't controlwhat you want
524
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,872
or who.
525
00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:27,333
♪ You, you ♪
526
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:28,250
[ Cellphone swooshes ]
527
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:31,337
♪ I've been thinking 'bout you ♪
528
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:34,548
♪ You, you ♪
529
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,593
Sometimes, despiteour best efforts,
530
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,886
you realizeyou were looking
531
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:42,181
for something morethan a casual hookup.
532
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:45,184
♪ I've been waiting for you ♪
533
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,270
♪ You, you ♪
534
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,814
♪ I'll always be there... ♪
535
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,650
And that something morecould be right in front of you
536
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:55,653
if you just open your eyes.
537
00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,279
♪ I'll be waiting for you ♪
538
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:05,246
Yo, I have some serious
dental health notes.
539
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,332
Ugh, smells like
a rotten protein shake.
540
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,875
Mm.
541
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,295
I mean, it's just -- it's just
a lip pimple, though, right?
542
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:14,213
Zeke.
543
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,257
My friend.
544
00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:18,509
You officially have
oral herpes.
545
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:21,429
Maybe stop taking medical advice
from your dad.
546
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,389
Dude is such a liar!
547
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,517
I always knew
Grandma was white.
548
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:33,399
Yeah,
that's the takeaway here.
549
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,861
But, guys, a herpes diagnosis
is not the end of the world.
550
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:40,448
With proper treatment,
herpes herpes herpes herpes.
551
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:44,535
Herpes herpes, herpes herpes,
herpes, herpes herpes.
552
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:47,788
You know what I mean?
553
00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,458
I mean, I just thought she was
really light-skinned.
554
00:20:50,508 --> 00:20:55,058
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