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["CAROL OF THE BELLS" PLAYING]
2
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:09,760
♪ Christmas is here ♪
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,595
♪ Merry, merry, merry Christmas ♪
4
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,514
♪ Merry, merry, merry Christmas ♪
5
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,390
♪ On on they send, on without end ♪
6
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,309
♪ Their joyful tone fo every home ♪
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♪ On on they send, on without end ♪
8
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♪ Their joyful tone fo every home ♪
9
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:28,654
♪ Ding dong, ding dong ♪
10
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,866
[SINGING "DECK THE HALLS"]
11
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,661
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
12
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,247
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
13
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:40,958
♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪
14
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,502
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
15
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,171
♪ Don we now our gay apparel ♪
16
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:48,715
♪ Fa la la la la la, la la la ♪
17
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:51,343
♪ Troll the ancient yuletide carol ♪
18
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,804
♪ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♪
19
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,640
[VOCALIZING]
20
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:06,733
[HARMONIZING]
21
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:19,079
["THE ADDAMS FAMILY THEME" PLAYING]
22
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,979
- [CLOCK CHIMING]
- [KISSING SOUND]
23
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:26,790
[KNUCKLES CRACKING]
24
00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:39,761
[SCREECHES]
25
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,687
Think of it, Thing.
26
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,524
For 25 years,
27
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,610
we've attempted to contact
Fester in the great beyond,
28
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:59,614
and for 25 years, nothing.
29
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:04,870
I'm beginning to think
my brother truly is lost.
30
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,172
[PUGSLEY MUMBLING]
31
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,924
Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.
32
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:21,011
[PUGSLEY CONTINUES MUMBLING]
33
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,095
[MUFFLED] Help me.
34
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:23,930
[PUGSLEY EXCLAIMING]
35
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,443
[GOMEZ] Look at her.
36
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,780
I would die for her.
37
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,449
I would kill for her.
38
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,452
Either way, what bliss.
39
00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,504
- Unhappy, darling?
- Oh, yes.
40
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,215
Yes, completely.
41
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,599
Gomez...
42
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,352
Sun.
43
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:11,770
[SPEAKING FRENCH]
44
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:16,525
Oh, Tish, that's French.
45
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:17,609
Our.
46
00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:21,780
Cara mia.
47
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,869
En garde, Monsieur Soleil!
48
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,456
Gomez?
49
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,958
Querida?
50
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:36,378
Last night you were unhinged.
51
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,631
You were like some
desperate howling demon.
52
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:42,425
You frightened me.
53
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,012
Do it again.
54
00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:49,307
[CREATURE IN BAG SQUEALING]
55
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,813
Thank you, Lurch.
56
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,691
[CREATURE SCREECHES]
57
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:58,984
[GRUNTING]
58
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,623
- [GOLF BALL THUDS]
- [BIRD SQUAWKS]
59
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,098
[SPUTTERING]
60
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,227
Damn you, Addams!
61
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,688
Sorry about the window, Judge.
62
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:39,190
Keep the ball. I have a whole bucketful.
63
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,030
You moron!
64
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,411
It is a milestone, Tish.
65
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:54,539
This very night, our 25th séance.
66
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:59,377
All those years, gnawed by guilt,
67
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,796
undone by woe,
68
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,717
burning with uncertainty.
69
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,930
Don't torture yourself, Gomez.
70
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:12,766
That's my job.
71
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,559
[INHALES DEEPLY]
72
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,436
Oh, Tish.
73
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,981
Imagine, darling, if
Fester did come back.
74
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,611
Half alive, barely
human, a rotting shell.
75
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,488
Don't tease.
76
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,417
Ouch!
77
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,670
Stop it! I'm warning you.
78
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,886
- [MORTICIA] Look, darling. Tully is here.
- [GOMEZ] Ah!
79
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,723
- Tully!
- Romping with Gate.
80
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,475
[TULLY GRUNTING]
81
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,770
These are your last paying
clients, may I remind you?
82
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:01,231
- If it gives you pleasure.
- Something has to.
83
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,109
Like a decent coat,
something dressy, for evening.
84
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,820
Ask for a loan. Beg!
85
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,072
No loans. I am not a bum.
86
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,282
Don't say it. I'll get the money.
87
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,909
I have a plan.
88
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,245
[SIGHS] This is all so humiliating.
89
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,707
- Why did I marry you?
- Because I said yes.
90
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:22,544
[MARGARET] I'm here to see Mrs.
Addams about the charity auction.
91
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:23,920
[GROWLS]
92
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,005
Oh!
93
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,715
Stop it! Let go!
94
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,138
[WIND BLOWING]
95
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:52,532
- Ah, missed!
- What's that?
96
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,916
Dirty pool, old man.
97
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,752
I like it.
98
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:16,514
Had enough?
99
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:17,599
Ha!
100
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,105
Where's my pen?
101
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:25,982
[GASPS]
102
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,068
Never mind. I'll take yours.
103
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,368
First, the old business.
104
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,790
[GRANNY] Charity
auction, it's ridiculous!
105
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,377
- Perhaps it's in here.
- I don't think so.
106
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,756
[DOOR CREAKING]
107
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,428
"Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe."
108
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,353
"Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe."
109
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,316
"Uncle Niknak."
110
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:14,447
"The Fester Addams
Offshore Retirement Fund"?
111
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,283
- What would it do?
- What wouldn't it do?
112
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,870
Fester, all tribute to thee.
113
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,581
- Some called him inhumanly evil.
- No!
114
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:27,043
Only our parents. I called him brother.
115
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,964
And his memory must live
on forever through money.
116
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,883
I'm gonna deposit the funds
under my name for tax purposes.
117
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,927
That's inspired.
118
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:39,222
He would've wanted it
that way. Beloved Fester.
119
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,308
Indeed!
120
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,521
- For Fester!
- For Fester! A brother!
121
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,189
- My brother!
- One of a kind!
122
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:51,401
- The doctors all said...
- Kind to animals, so good with children!
123
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,362
- They never proved anything.
- $1 million is the perfect amount.
124
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,990
- It's brilliant.
- It's untraceable!
125
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,953
But, Tully, it's not old business.
126
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:04,622
It's going to have to wait. You
know the rules better than that.
127
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:08,334
Why? B-But this is different. This
is in my name. Make an exception.
128
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,421
Old business is old business,
and new business is new business,
129
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,797
and this is new business,
130
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:15,508
and we do not discuss
new business until...
131
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:20,763
next quarter.
132
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,473
Next quarter?
133
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,726
Next quarter?
134
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,394
[TULLY GRUNTING]
135
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:31,107
Fine lunge, but your
riposte... tsk tsk tsk, a tad rusty.
136
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,322
Make yourself comfortable, old man,
137
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,949
while I get the money
for the monthly expenses.
138
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,546
[CREAKS]
139
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,847
[SNAPPING]
140
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:07,477
[MORTICIA] There it is. Just
what we've been searching for.
141
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,729
Thank you, Thing.
142
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,443
My God. What is it?
143
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:18,571
A finger trap from the
court of Emperor Wu.
144
00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,490
It must be worth a fortune.
145
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:26,037
Oh, Morticia! This is too extravagant!
146
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:28,748
Even for the auction.
147
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,625
Let's keep it.
148
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,211
Hush, Mama.
149
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,630
It's for charity. Widows and orphans.
150
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:37,966
We need more of them.
151
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,135
- Margaret?
- Mm-hmm?
152
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,389
About the séance tonight.
153
00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,267
I wish you'd come. It's Gomez.
154
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,519
- I'm terribly worried about him.
- [FINGER TRAP CLICKS]
155
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,647
He won't eat. He can't sleep.
156
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,191
He keeps coughing up blood.
157
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,194
He coughs up blood?
158
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,406
Well, not like he used to.
159
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,076
[ANIMAL GROWLING]
160
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:06,577
- [WHIP CRACKS]
- [GOMEZ] Down, kitty!
161
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:08,121
[GROWLS]
162
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,081
[GEARS CLANKING]
163
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,465
[CLATTERING IN DISTANCE]
164
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,723
[WIND HOWLING]
165
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,895
[GRUMBLING]
166
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:45,033
There, the monthly expenses.
167
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,916
- [CLATTERING]
- [GLASS BREAKING]
168
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,293
Miss Bradbury.
169
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,337
[COINS CLINKING]
170
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,131
Miss Bradbury!
171
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:02,258
[WOMAN] She's gone home, Mr. Alford.
172
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,552
Oh, Mrs. Craven!
173
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,890
- I was just about to call you.
- I'm certain you were.
174
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:12,393
You haven't met my son
Gordon, have you, Mr. Alford?
175
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,604
[TULLY] Hello.
176
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,356
[LOCK CLICKS]
177
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:21,736
Is this the one, Mother?
That deadbeat you mentioned?
178
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,822
No, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.
179
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:27,742
Hold on. Hold on. Hold
on. You have to listen to me.
180
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:30,745
Do we, Mr. Alford? And why?
181
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,122
Please, hear me out!
182
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,958
Hear me out!
183
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,795
Please. Please! Ah!
184
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:40,880
Your call, Mother.
185
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:44,842
Gordon and I enjoy a
very special relationship.
186
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:47,512
- She's a pip!
- [MRS. CRAVEN] Refreshing, no?
187
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,555
- Down, Gordon.
- Mother?
188
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:50,765
- Gordon!
- Gordon!
189
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,559
[TULLY EXCLAIMS]
190
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:57,814
We've lent you a considerable
sum, many thousands of dollars.
191
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:58,898
Payment due.
192
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,442
I don't have the money to
repay you. I've tried everything.
193
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:05,113
- Oh, Gordon, I want to believe him.
- So do I.
194
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,322
Make me proud.
195
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,199
No, no, no.
196
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:19,710
- He lied to us, Mother.
- No, no. It's not what you think.
197
00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,046
Those are doubloons
for the Addams account.
198
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,131
Addams?
199
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,758
There's more, there's a
fortune, but nobody can get to it.
200
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,260
Don't you think I've tried?
201
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,971
Have you? Have you tried hard enough?
202
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:33,683
- Ask him, sweetheart.
- No, no, no, sweetheart. Don't ask.
203
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:42,733
Fester.
204
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,528
[THUNDER CRACKLING]
205
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,660
- It's a miserable night.
- I know, darling.
206
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,662
Séance weather.
207
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:58,374
Children, we're starting!
208
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,835
- Put down that antenna.
- [BOTH GIGGLING]
209
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:11,512
It's unbelievable. This hideous
creature and my little boy.
210
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,309
They could be twins.
211
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:20,605
But they're his family. What
makes you think they'll fall for it?
212
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:23,691
You shave your head, we
dress you up. No problem.
213
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,985
They'll think he's Fester,
their long-lost brother.
214
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,279
I hope so, Mr. Alford, for your sake.
215
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,323
Hey, I've been the
Addams' lawyer for years.
216
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,450
- They're morons.
- [MRS. CRAVEN] Obviously.
217
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,494
- Now what about the gold?
- They got this vault...
218
00:16:34,577 --> 00:16:36,829
- Where?
- I'm not sure.
219
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,331
That's a problem, isn't it?
220
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,501
Now, listen, Fester's
been missing for 25 years.
221
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,419
He and Gomez had some sort of a fight,
222
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,838
and Gomez feels
incredibly guilty about it.
223
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,715
He'll tell you anything. Just ask.
224
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:52,053
- It's foolproof.
- It had better be. Now, get out.
225
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,263
It's gonna be great.
226
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,517
You're gonna get back all
the money I owe you and more.
227
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,518
You'll see. Really.
228
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:04,398
This is it, Mother. The
one we've been waiting for.
229
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:08,694
No more loan-sharking,
no more storefront scams.
230
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,531
I get the gold, and we're gone.
231
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,616
And Tully takes the rap.
232
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:14,742
Gordon, it's brilliant.
233
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,661
No, not Gordon!
234
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,830
- Of course not.
- Fester.
235
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,249
[CHUCKLES]
236
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:22,792
[THUNDERCLAP]
237
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,757
Big night for you guys, eh, small fry?
238
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,968
[MARGARET BREATHING HEAVILY]
239
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,553
Hello, sweetheart.
240
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:35,680
Could you?
241
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:41,102
[CLICKS]
242
00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:44,021
Oh, thank God.
243
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,773
Welcome, honored guests.
244
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:49,360
Entrails?
245
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:56,242
[PLAYING OMINOUS TUNE]
246
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:08,212
Sing, O spirits. Hearken all souls.
247
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:13,551
Every year on this date, we offer
a clarion call to Fester Addams.
248
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,011
Stop it.
249
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:16,095
Pugsley.
250
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,558
[GIGGLES]
251
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:22,768
- Kids.
- [CHUCKLES]
252
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,730
[MORTICIA] From generation to generation,
253
00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,566
our beacon to the beyond.
254
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:33,279
All close eyes and join hands.
255
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,162
Ow! What a grip!
256
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,873
Ow! Oh, my hand!
257
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,793
[GASPS] My hand! She's got my hand!
258
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:50,838
[SCREAMING]
259
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,007
[ALL LAUGHING]
260
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,929
- Excuse me.
- Okay, pumpkin, sit down.
261
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:00,222
Join the fun.
262
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,266
Mama, you should know better.
263
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,518
Thing, you're a handful.
264
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:06,729
Wednesday.
265
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,815
Let us ransom you from
the power of the grave.
266
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:13,110
Tonight, O death, let us be your plague.
267
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,029
Mama.
268
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,114
Fester Addams...
269
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:20,117
[CHANTING INCANTATIONS]
270
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,123
I feel that he's near.
271
00:19:26,207 --> 00:19:29,043
[OMINOUS TUNE CONTINUES]
272
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,963
Fester Addams, gather your strength
273
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,883
and knock three times.
274
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:39,637
[POUNDING ON DOOR THREE TIMES]
275
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,389
Did you hear that?
276
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,016
- Ask again, Mama, quickly.
- By all means.
277
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,935
Ask. Ask.
278
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:50,981
Fester Addams, I demand
that you knock again!
279
00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:53,067
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
280
00:19:56,987 --> 00:20:02,827
[POUNDING ON DOOR THREE TIMES]
281
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,286
He's at the door!
282
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,372
[SQUEALS]
283
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,596
- [MORTICIA] Could it be?
- [GRANNY] Is it him?
284
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,849
- [TULLY] Is it possible?
- [MARGARET] Oh, my God.
285
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,646
- Fester.
- Gomez.
286
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:52,293
[IN FAKE GERMAN ACCENT] Good
evening. I am Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
287
00:20:56,338 --> 00:21:00,760
He was found in Miami,
tangled in a tuna net.
288
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:04,764
It was just last month
during the Hurricane Helga.
289
00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:08,267
The sky, it was black like pitch.
290
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:12,438
The waves, they were walls
of doom. Can you imagine?
291
00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:16,233
They drag him from the ocean,
from the very jaws of oblivion.
292
00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:17,693
I'm telling you.
293
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:21,405
There were tests, so many tests!
294
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:25,659
A complete psychological profile.
295
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:29,622
At long last, the Florida
Department of the Fish and the Game,
296
00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:33,417
they say, "Lo and behold,
oh, my, oh, my, oh, my,
297
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,836
go tell it on the mountains,
298
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:38,255
he is your brother."
299
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,049
[CRYING]
300
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:41,675
Boom!
301
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:44,470
They give him to me at Human Services,
302
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:48,516
and I am bringing him,
after all these years,
303
00:21:48,599 --> 00:21:51,435
after who knows what heartache,
304
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:53,687
after the naked and the dead,
305
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:57,358
I am bringing him home to you! [CHUCKLES]
306
00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:59,068
- That's preposterous.
- Margaret...
307
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,654
Isn't that the most ridiculous
thing you've ever heard?
308
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,572
- [TULLY] Blossom.
- It certainly is.
309
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:04,490
Ha.
310
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,869
- Now you're back.
- [TULLY] Yes, back.
311
00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:12,289
Back to share your joys, your sorrows.
312
00:22:12,373 --> 00:22:15,668
- Hey, everything.
- Well, I just don't know.
313
00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,586
Honey, how does this work, again?
314
00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:19,672
An infant would understand.
315
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:21,257
[FINGER TRAP CLICKS]
316
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,341
[LAUGHS]
317
00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:26,679
Fester Addams, home at long last.
318
00:22:26,762 --> 00:22:30,099
Well, at least for a week.
319
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,600
A week?
320
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:33,811
Don't be ridiculous. You're home.
321
00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:35,729
Sorry, but I have to get back.
322
00:22:35,813 --> 00:22:39,692
I've got a lot of things cooking
in the Bermuda Triangle.
323
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:40,776
Oh, Gomez.
324
00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:44,697
- The Bermuda Triangle.
- Devil's Island.
325
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,699
The Black Hole of Calcutta.
326
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:48,367
Excuse us.
327
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:49,451
Second honeymoon.
328
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:50,703
[ELECTRIC CRACKLING]
329
00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:54,999
[MORTICIA] Dr. Pinder-Schloss,
will you be staying with us too?
330
00:22:55,082 --> 00:22:57,293
No, no. I must be going.
331
00:22:57,376 --> 00:23:01,380
But I will be back, you can bet, to
be checking on Fester's adjustment.
332
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,756
[METALLIC CLANKING]
333
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,425
Cool.
334
00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:06,760
Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle.
335
00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:08,804
Not even for a vacation.
336
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,431
Everyone knows that.
337
00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:14,476
Oh, my little bundle. So
much you don't understand.
338
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,772
The human spirit, it is a
hard thing to kill. [CHUCKLES]
339
00:23:18,856 --> 00:23:21,609
Even with a chainsaw.
340
00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:31,410
Unpacking?
341
00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:33,495
Let me.
342
00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:35,623
It's all right. I can do it.
343
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:38,125
Crowbar.
344
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,131
Dynamite.
345
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:52,264
Cyanide.
346
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,812
Fester, as if we'd run out.
347
00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:04,193
Good night.
348
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,672
[WIND HOWLING]
349
00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:37,476
Nosy little brat.
350
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:57,830
[DOOR CREAKS, CLOSES]
351
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:12,011
[LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS]
352
00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:29,528
[BED CREAKS]
353
00:25:38,412 --> 00:25:39,830
[LOUD CLANG]
354
00:25:39,913 --> 00:25:41,248
Who's there?
355
00:25:41,331 --> 00:25:43,876
[DOOR CREAKS]
356
00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,759
[THUNDERCLAP]
357
00:26:11,612 --> 00:26:14,490
[SCREAMING]
358
00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:17,451
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
359
00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:20,037
My own dear brother.
360
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,957
I've got goose bumps.
361
00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:25,876
I know.
362
00:26:27,169 --> 00:26:29,421
Screams in the night.
363
00:26:29,505 --> 00:26:31,340
It can only mean one thing.
364
00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:34,676
He's home.
365
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,179
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
366
00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:39,932
[GORDON] Please! Please!
367
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:42,476
Leave me alone!
368
00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:47,856
[BELL TOLLING]
369
00:27:08,377 --> 00:27:10,003
[GRUNTS] Breakfast?
370
00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:15,384
Damn, it's good to
have you back. Let's go.
371
00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:19,555
Two out of three?
372
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,308
[GOMEZ LAUGHING]
373
00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:27,229
Home cooking!
374
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:30,149
There's nothing like it in the world.
375
00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:31,859
May I have the salt?
376
00:27:34,278 --> 00:27:35,320
What do we say?
377
00:27:37,364 --> 00:27:38,365
Now.
378
00:27:48,375 --> 00:27:49,501
What is this?
379
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,171
Mama's spécialite de la maison.
380
00:27:52,838 --> 00:27:54,464
Oh, Tish.
381
00:27:57,467 --> 00:27:58,844
Start with the eyes.
382
00:28:01,555 --> 00:28:02,639
Did you sleep well?
383
00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:07,060
- Like the dead.
- [GOMEZ] Really?
384
00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:08,979
Who would have thought
the Bermuda Triangle
385
00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:10,606
could change a man so much?
386
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:14,234
You used to toss and turn all night.
We had to chain you to the bedpost.
387
00:28:14,985 --> 00:28:16,195
Doesn't make sense.
388
00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:18,197
[LURCH GROANS]
389
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:22,659
The Bermuda Triangle is a very
strange and mysterious place.
390
00:28:23,285 --> 00:28:26,455
You'd be surprised at all
the things you don't know.
391
00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:27,998
[FIRE HISSES]
392
00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,333
[MORTICIA] She certainly would.
393
00:28:29,875 --> 00:28:32,377
Wednesday adores the Bermuda Triangle.
394
00:28:32,461 --> 00:28:33,837
She studies it.
395
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:35,797
Death at sea. She's hooked.
396
00:28:35,881 --> 00:28:37,257
Ask me anything.
397
00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:44,139
Being in my old room
sure brings back memories.
398
00:28:45,432 --> 00:28:49,061
- Remember Camp Custer?
- For preteen offenders.
399
00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:50,437
[FIRE HISSES]
400
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,190
[GOMEZ AND FESTER LAUGH]
401
00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:00,322
Aren't memories precious?
402
00:29:00,948 --> 00:29:04,451
Today I'd like to wander
through the house, remembering.
403
00:29:04,534 --> 00:29:06,787
No, no. Sorry, old man.
No wandering today.
404
00:29:06,870 --> 00:29:09,081
Today we're going straight to the vault.
405
00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:12,584
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
406
00:29:12,668 --> 00:29:13,877
[TRUCK HORN BLARING]
407
00:29:13,961 --> 00:29:15,003
[TIRES SCREECHING]
408
00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:16,672
[CAR HORN BLARING]
409
00:29:17,214 --> 00:29:18,966
[VEHICLES CRASHING]
410
00:29:19,633 --> 00:29:22,177
Bravo, Pugsley!
411
00:29:22,928 --> 00:29:24,137
[METAL CLANGS]
412
00:29:28,558 --> 00:29:29,601
[TOGETHER] "Greed."
413
00:29:29,685 --> 00:29:31,311
[BOTH LAUGHING]
414
00:29:38,110 --> 00:29:40,028
I feel like we're children again.
415
00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:42,281
Tag. You're it!
416
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,615
["PLAYMATE, COME OUT
AND PLAY WITH ME" PLAYING]
417
00:29:43,699 --> 00:29:45,325
> Playmate, come out and play with me »
418
00:29:45,409 --> 00:29:46,952
> And bring your dollies three >
419
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:48,287
> Climb up my apple tree »
420
00:29:48,370 --> 00:29:49,538
> Look down my rain barrel »
421
00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:50,706
> Slide down my cellar door b
422
00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:51,957
> And we'll be jolly friends »
423
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,750
» Forevermore >
424
00:29:54,459 --> 00:29:55,335
[GASPS]
425
00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:03,302
[EXCLAIMS]
426
00:30:05,053 --> 00:30:07,306
Smell that air, Fester.
427
00:30:07,389 --> 00:30:09,266
[COUGHING, GROANING]
428
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:12,019
[INHALES DEEPLY] Like a tomb.
429
00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:19,526
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
430
00:30:19,609 --> 00:30:22,154
The sea... your second home.
431
00:30:23,613 --> 00:30:24,948
Ship ahoy.
432
00:30:27,034 --> 00:30:29,036
[ITALIAN BALLAD PLAYING ON GRAMOPHONE]
433
00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:37,127
[GOMEZ SINGING ALONG IN ITALIAN]
434
00:30:40,464 --> 00:30:43,008
[PUGSLEY] Do you think
that's really Uncle Fester?
435
00:30:43,091 --> 00:30:46,136
Father says so, but I
think Mother isn't sure.
436
00:30:49,973 --> 00:30:51,475
Pugsley, sit in the chair.
437
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:53,352
- Why?
- So we can play a game.
438
00:30:59,316 --> 00:31:00,400
What game?
439
00:31:01,735 --> 00:31:05,364
It's called "Is There a God?"
440
00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:08,825
[ITALIAN BALLAD CONTINUES PLAYING]
441
00:31:08,909 --> 00:31:11,495
[GOMEZ CONTINUES SINGING]
442
00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:24,549
[MUSIC AND SINGING ENDS]
443
00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:32,099
- [GORDON] The vault!
- [GOMEZ LAUGHS]
444
00:31:32,933 --> 00:31:36,561
Two to the right, ten to the left.
445
00:31:36,645 --> 00:31:38,522
And then around to...
446
00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:40,899
Oh. Uh... Five.
447
00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:42,984
Eleven.
448
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:46,988
Two, ten, 11. Eyes, fingers, toes.
449
00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:49,241
So many years.
450
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,919
- Welcome back.
- Thanks.
451
00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:04,673
[GOMEZ] Our secret place.
452
00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:07,634
Sanctum sanctorum.
453
00:32:07,717 --> 00:32:10,720
If these walls could speak, eh, old man?
454
00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:14,891
- What would they say?
- You tell me.
455
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,060
- You first.
- Uh-uh.
456
00:32:17,686 --> 00:32:19,229
Senior partner.
457
00:32:20,230 --> 00:32:22,149
Junior spaceman.
458
00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:25,777
First a brandy. Do the honors.
459
00:32:25,861 --> 00:32:28,113
I've got a real treat in store.
460
00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:30,615
Where is it, you ridiculous imbecile?
461
00:32:30,699 --> 00:32:32,784
[HUMMING ITALIAN BALLAD]
462
00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:41,168
[POPS]
463
00:32:58,894 --> 00:33:00,770
[CREATURE GROWLING]
464
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:12,532
[HUMMING CONTINUES]
465
00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:14,993
Aha!
466
00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:17,537
Showtime!
467
00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:23,752
[GOMEZ AND FESTER LAUGHING]
468
00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:27,839
[GOMEZ] Oh...
469
00:33:47,817 --> 00:33:50,153
There, the debutante ball.
470
00:33:51,571 --> 00:33:53,406
Remember that fateful night?
471
00:33:54,574 --> 00:33:55,575
Of course.
472
00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:02,749
Your first cigar.
473
00:34:02,832 --> 00:34:03,959
What?
474
00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:06,044
Come on, old man. I've
smoked since I was five.
475
00:34:06,127 --> 00:34:07,754
Mother insisted.
476
00:34:10,340 --> 00:34:13,218
Flora and Fauna.
477
00:34:13,301 --> 00:34:15,470
Quite the pair, eh, Gomez?
478
00:34:15,554 --> 00:34:17,556
Can you ever forgive me?
479
00:34:19,474 --> 00:34:20,475
What?
480
00:34:21,268 --> 00:34:22,727
I didn't love them,
481
00:34:23,395 --> 00:34:26,690
yet I wooed them
both out of foolish pride.
482
00:34:27,566 --> 00:34:30,402
You were so dashing, you could
have any woman you wanted,
483
00:34:30,485 --> 00:34:31,695
dead or alive.
484
00:34:32,571 --> 00:34:34,030
I was jealous.
485
00:34:34,114 --> 00:34:36,575
Insanely jealous.
486
00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:38,076
I admit that now.
487
00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:40,704
[CLICKS]
488
00:34:41,496 --> 00:34:44,165
But I did not mean to drive you off,
489
00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:46,167
not to the Bermuda Triangle.
490
00:34:46,918 --> 00:34:48,753
Water under the bridge.
491
00:34:49,296 --> 00:34:51,131
Forgiven. Forgotten.
492
00:34:56,761 --> 00:34:58,179
[GRUNTING]
493
00:34:58,263 --> 00:35:00,724
- [CHOKING]
- Come on. Say it.
494
00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:01,850
[GASPING]
495
00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:04,144
- Say the secret password.
- The password?
496
00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:07,480
Come on. Stop fooling. You remember.
497
00:35:07,564 --> 00:35:10,650
Please. I'm choking. Please.
498
00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:13,528
You forgot our secret password?
499
00:35:13,612 --> 00:35:16,072
The word we used 100 times a day?
500
00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:17,949
Our special private name for each other?
501
00:35:18,033 --> 00:35:20,702
That was a long time ago
when we were children.
502
00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:26,124
You almost killed me, you demented freak.
503
00:35:26,207 --> 00:35:29,586
[GOMEZ] Poor devil, what did they
do to you in that Bermuda Triangle?
504
00:35:29,669 --> 00:35:32,380
But if he's not Uncle
Fester, then who is he?
505
00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:33,923
Somebody else.
506
00:35:37,093 --> 00:35:38,428
It has to warm up.
507
00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:39,512
[PUGSLEY] Why?
508
00:35:40,180 --> 00:35:41,181
So it can kill you.
509
00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:43,058
- [ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
- I knew that.
510
00:35:44,517 --> 00:35:48,063
- Children, what are you doing?
- I'm going to electrocute him.
511
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:50,565
But we're late for the charity auction.
512
00:35:50,649 --> 00:35:52,942
- [WEDNESDAY] But, Mother...
- I said no.
513
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,153
[PUGSLEY] Please?
514
00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:57,614
[CLICKS TONGUE] Oh, all right.
515
00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:03,828
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
516
00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:09,167
[JUDGE] This magnificent piece
517
00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:13,171
is encrusted with rubies
and 15 emerald chips.
518
00:36:13,254 --> 00:36:18,635
It was donated by Morticia
and Gomez Addams.
519
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:21,304
Remember, this year,
over half our proceeds
520
00:36:21,388 --> 00:36:24,349
will benefit the elderly
and the mentally disabled.
521
00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:28,353
Il open the bidding at $5,000.
522
00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:30,980
[GOMEZ SCOFFING] Five...
Ha! Not good enough.
523
00:36:31,064 --> 00:36:33,608
- 20,000!
- What are they doing?
524
00:36:33,692 --> 00:36:36,486
- [JUDGE] I have 20.
- Twenty-five.
525
00:36:36,569 --> 00:36:38,029
- Cara mia?
- [JUDGE] Twenty-five.
526
00:36:38,613 --> 00:36:40,782
Thirty. Mon sauvage.
527
00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:42,283
Thirty-five!
528
00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:43,993
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
529
00:36:44,577 --> 00:36:48,164
Fifty. I have $50,000.
530
00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,958
Your turn, my ecstasy.
531
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:53,795
[JUDGE] Fifty thousand, going
once. Fifty thousand, going twice.
532
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:55,630
[MOANING AMOROUSLY]
533
00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:59,342
Sold to Morticia Addams for $50,000.
534
00:36:59,426 --> 00:37:00,593
[GOMEZ AND MORTICIA MOANING]
535
00:37:02,929 --> 00:37:05,557
[M.C. HAMMER SONG PLAYING ON CAR STEREO]
536
00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:13,356
Isn't it too enchanting?
537
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:14,983
How do you take it off?
538
00:37:18,153 --> 00:37:19,571
There's a trick to it...
539
00:37:20,405 --> 00:37:21,406
[CLICKS]
540
00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:23,783
...of course.
541
00:37:29,414 --> 00:37:31,541
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
542
00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:37,338
"How do you take it off?" That's absurd.
543
00:37:37,422 --> 00:37:40,341
That finger trap was a party
favor at his tenth birthday!
544
00:37:42,969 --> 00:37:44,596
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
545
00:37:45,555 --> 00:37:46,806
Oh, no.
546
00:37:47,432 --> 00:37:49,184
Father's playing with his trains.
547
00:37:50,810 --> 00:37:53,188
He wore that finger trap for two years!
548
00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:55,440
Mother had to teach
him to eat with his feet.
549
00:37:55,523 --> 00:37:58,193
And the combination and the password
550
00:37:58,276 --> 00:38:01,029
and my cigar and he slept so well!
551
00:38:01,654 --> 00:38:02,989
[BELL DINGING]
552
00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:05,825
He's using the diesel.
553
00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:09,245
[RUMBLING]
554
00:38:09,329 --> 00:38:11,498
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
555
00:38:17,462 --> 00:38:18,463
The covered bridge.
556
00:38:21,966 --> 00:38:23,134
Dead man's curve.
557
00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:31,351
[CAULDRON BUBBLING]
558
00:38:34,938 --> 00:38:37,023
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
559
00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:43,196
[RUMBLING]
560
00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:01,297
[GORDON SHRIEKING]
561
00:39:10,098 --> 00:39:11,933
[MANIACAL LAUGHING]
562
00:39:15,728 --> 00:39:16,813
[SCREAMING]
563
00:39:16,896 --> 00:39:19,524
It's all about Uncle Fester, isn't it?
564
00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:21,442
[WATER WHOOSHES]
565
00:39:24,612 --> 00:39:26,573
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
566
00:39:29,492 --> 00:39:33,037
Spirits above me, give me a sign.
567
00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:36,124
Shall I be joyous or shall I be damned?
568
00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:39,335
[LOUD EXPLOSION]
569
00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,089
[WATER WHOOSHES]
570
00:39:51,639 --> 00:39:52,849
Sleepless night?
571
00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:57,729
Walk with me, Fester.
572
00:40:04,152 --> 00:40:05,820
Aunt LaBorgia.
573
00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:08,281
Executed by a firing squad.
574
00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:11,659
Cousin Fledge.
575
00:40:11,743 --> 00:40:15,455
Torn limb from limb by four wild horses.
576
00:40:16,456 --> 00:40:18,750
And darling Uncle Eimar.
577
00:40:21,628 --> 00:40:23,463
Buried alive.
578
00:40:24,547 --> 00:40:26,174
Psychopaths,
579
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:27,759
fiends,
580
00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:29,344
mad-dog killers.
581
00:40:30,011 --> 00:40:32,764
Brutes, Fester. Pioneers.
582
00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:34,724
Lest we forget.
583
00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:37,936
Your beloved Muerto.
584
00:40:39,938 --> 00:40:43,358
After you left, he was
simply a different vulture.
585
00:40:44,901 --> 00:40:46,235
He wouldn't circle.
586
00:40:47,695 --> 00:40:49,238
He wouldn't peck.
587
00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:53,242
That's how much you mean to this family.
588
00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:02,502
Mother and Father Addams.
589
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:07,090
How I wish the children
could have known them better.
590
00:41:08,216 --> 00:41:10,385
But tell that to an angry mob.
591
00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:19,060
And our credo, "Sic gorgiamus
allos subjectatos nunc."
592
00:41:19,143 --> 00:41:22,897
"We gladly feast on those
who would subdue us."
593
00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:25,650
Not just pretty words.
594
00:41:29,195 --> 00:41:33,408
As an Addams, you understand
completely, don't you?
595
00:41:35,952 --> 00:41:38,997
As an Addams, yes, I do.
596
00:41:42,583 --> 00:41:43,793
Good night, Fester.
597
00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,339
Rest in peace.
598
00:41:57,682 --> 00:41:59,642
They're on to me,
Mother. I'm almost sure.
599
00:42:00,309 --> 00:42:03,521
Of course I tried. I still can't
find it. You've got to get over here.
600
00:42:03,604 --> 00:42:05,857
[WHISPERING] Arsenic, cyanide.
Cyanide. Arsenic, arsenic.
601
00:42:06,399 --> 00:42:07,942
Don't say that.
602
00:42:09,193 --> 00:42:10,570
You know I do.
603
00:42:11,571 --> 00:42:12,739
[LURCH GRUNTS]
604
00:42:12,822 --> 00:42:16,868
His trains are everywhere. The
children are beside themselves.
605
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:18,786
Is that for your brother?
606
00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:21,039
I don't think so.
607
00:42:29,464 --> 00:42:30,715
This can't go on.
608
00:42:31,257 --> 00:42:33,468
How can I help him? Tell me, Mama.
609
00:42:35,261 --> 00:42:37,847
"Troubled husbands."
610
00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:39,348
- "Adultery"?
- Oh, no.
611
00:42:40,475 --> 00:42:43,519
- "Financial, money troubles"?
- No.
612
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:48,232
- "Turned into toad or reptile."
- Is there an index?
613
00:42:48,316 --> 00:42:49,317
[GRUNTS]
614
00:42:50,193 --> 00:42:53,029
They know I'm a fraud, the whole bunch.
615
00:42:53,112 --> 00:42:55,239
[SHUDDERING] It's not going to work.
616
00:42:55,323 --> 00:42:58,576
Who knows? Gomez, that overheated moron?
617
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:01,704
He's no moron. He's Fester's brother.
618
00:43:01,788 --> 00:43:05,708
They had some awful fight years ago.
He's suspicious, they all are, I can tell.
619
00:43:05,792 --> 00:43:08,086
Really? Well, thank God I came over here.
620
00:43:08,169 --> 00:43:12,673
I will counsel the troubled
family, ease their distress.
621
00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:15,551
It's my calling. Remember, Gordon?
622
00:43:15,635 --> 00:43:16,928
What?
623
00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:18,888
[SWITCHING TO GERMAN
ACCENT] I'm a doctor.
624
00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:25,019
Why don't you speak to Fester,
darling? He's right outside the door.
625
00:43:25,103 --> 00:43:28,314
I would speak with
Fester if that were Fester.
626
00:43:28,397 --> 00:43:31,734
But that is not. That's an impostor!
627
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,403
An impostore!
628
00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:37,323
A charlatan! A sham!
629
00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:39,033
A counterfeit!
630
00:43:39,117 --> 00:43:40,993
[GORDON WHIMPERING]
631
00:43:42,578 --> 00:43:44,122
[SWORDS CLANGING]
632
00:43:44,205 --> 00:43:45,248
Hmm.
633
00:43:46,707 --> 00:43:49,794
[WEDNESDAY] O, villain,
villain, smiling, damned villain!
634
00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:52,088
[PUGSLEY] Who calls me a
villain? Breaks my pate across?
635
00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:53,005
Bloodshed.
636
00:43:53,089 --> 00:43:54,882
[PUGSLEY] Plucks off my
beard and blows it in my face?
637
00:43:54,966 --> 00:43:56,968
[WEDNESDAY] If I must
strike you dead, I will.
638
00:43:57,051 --> 00:43:58,261
- [GROANS]
- [PUGSLEY GRUNTS]
639
00:44:03,850 --> 00:44:05,017
Ohh...
640
00:44:05,685 --> 00:44:06,686
Ahh...
641
00:44:07,270 --> 00:44:08,479
No!
642
00:44:09,105 --> 00:44:10,273
No, no!
643
00:44:10,356 --> 00:44:12,191
No, no, no, no!
644
00:44:13,860 --> 00:44:15,111
Give me that sword.
645
00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:18,823
Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone?
646
00:44:18,906 --> 00:44:21,742
- He's only a child.
- No excuse.
647
00:44:22,368 --> 00:44:25,413
Aim for a major artery. The jugular.
648
00:44:25,496 --> 00:44:28,958
A faker! A phony!
649
00:44:29,041 --> 00:44:30,751
An utter fraud!
650
00:44:30,835 --> 00:44:33,337
A base, deceitful...
651
00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:35,214
[IN GERMAN ACCENT] Mr. Addams!
652
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:39,552
I believe I am understanding.
I can help, yes?
653
00:44:40,469 --> 00:44:44,098
The theory of displacement.
654
00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:45,725
Is this familiar?
655
00:44:46,475 --> 00:44:47,476
No. Tish?
656
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,771
Oh, it is too exciting.
657
00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:52,398
I will explain.
658
00:44:52,481 --> 00:44:54,066
Is it unpleasant?
659
00:44:55,318 --> 00:44:56,319
Deeply.
660
00:44:58,738 --> 00:45:02,909
Your very own brother,
you drive him away.
661
00:45:02,992 --> 00:45:04,660
"Go. Off with you."
662
00:45:04,744 --> 00:45:08,873
But then you are feeling
the little black monster.
663
00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:11,542
- Pugsley.
- Guilt. Yes?
664
00:45:12,251 --> 00:45:15,379
Your brother returns, you feel guilty,
665
00:45:15,463 --> 00:45:16,756
you displace.
666
00:45:16,839 --> 00:45:18,049
I do?
667
00:45:18,132 --> 00:45:22,178
The feelings in your brain
cells, they bubble and collide.
668
00:45:22,845 --> 00:45:25,389
You suspect things.
669
00:45:25,473 --> 00:45:28,601
You love him, but you resent him.
670
00:45:28,684 --> 00:45:30,811
Love, hate. Hate, love.
671
00:45:31,938 --> 00:45:33,356
Like for Mama. No?
672
00:45:34,190 --> 00:45:36,651
But I didn't hate my
mother. It was an accident.
673
00:45:37,235 --> 00:45:41,364
It's a very common psychosis.
I'm seeing it every day.
674
00:45:41,989 --> 00:45:43,115
Lucky doctor.
675
00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:47,578
Displacement. How bizarre.
676
00:45:47,662 --> 00:45:50,206
And here I thought
Fester was the problem.
677
00:45:50,915 --> 00:45:52,333
- He's sullen.
- He's furtive.
678
00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:53,668
- Backstabbing.
- He sulks.
679
00:45:53,751 --> 00:45:55,670
- I suspect him.
- You're unbalanced.
680
00:45:55,753 --> 00:45:58,798
And I hate him. By God, you're right!
681
00:45:59,340 --> 00:46:01,259
He is Fester!
682
00:46:01,342 --> 00:46:03,052
Thank you, Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
683
00:46:04,136 --> 00:46:05,638
I do what I can.
684
00:46:05,721 --> 00:46:08,641
You see, children, there's lots to learn.
685
00:46:12,853 --> 00:46:14,230
"Gangrene."
686
00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:16,065
[WEDNESDAY] Ooh.
687
00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:18,401
Uncle Fester, how do you know so much?
688
00:46:18,484 --> 00:46:21,237
I've been around. I pick things up.
689
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,072
In the Bermuda Triangle?
690
00:46:25,241 --> 00:46:27,326
Look, children, a new chapter.
691
00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:30,413
[ALL] "Scabs."
692
00:46:33,332 --> 00:46:35,751
[CREATURE SCREECHING]
693
00:46:37,420 --> 00:46:40,840
Three parts dynamite
with a nitroglycerin cap.
694
00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:44,719
It's perfect for small holes,
carports and tool sheds.
695
00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:52,601
Mother.
696
00:46:53,352 --> 00:46:55,604
Everyone will be at the
children's play tonight, correct?
697
00:46:55,688 --> 00:46:58,232
Oh, yes. I've been working with them.
698
00:46:58,316 --> 00:47:00,776
- It's going to be fun.
- Fun?
699
00:47:02,570 --> 00:47:04,947
Is that what we're here for? Fun?
700
00:47:05,031 --> 00:47:08,826
Oh, darling, forgive me. You
see what they've driven me to?
701
00:47:08,909 --> 00:47:11,996
I've raised a hand to my
child, my reason for living.
702
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:17,918
- You can't go to the play.
- But the kids...
703
00:47:18,002 --> 00:47:20,504
The house will be deserted.
The vault will be ours.
704
00:47:20,588 --> 00:47:22,131
But, Mother...
705
00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,051
Can you hear it, my treasure?
706
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,387
My heartbeat. It beats only for you.
707
00:47:28,471 --> 00:47:31,390
Listen closely. It says,
"Gordon, I love you.
708
00:47:31,474 --> 00:47:33,184
Gordon, the vault."
709
00:47:34,602 --> 00:47:36,103
I do hear it.
710
00:47:36,187 --> 00:47:40,733
Soon we'll have the money
and we'll be far from here.
711
00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:43,778
Loving mother, grateful son.
712
00:47:44,487 --> 00:47:45,821
Understood?
713
00:47:46,781 --> 00:47:48,866
[OWL HOOTING]
714
00:47:49,742 --> 00:47:50,743
[GOMEZ] Ah.
715
00:47:51,827 --> 00:47:53,788
There you are, at last.
716
00:47:55,122 --> 00:47:57,958
What a fool I was to doubt you.
717
00:47:58,042 --> 00:48:00,836
Dr. Pinder-Schloss explained everything.
718
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,005
What a lovely woman. So chilly.
719
00:48:03,672 --> 00:48:05,341
Displacement.
720
00:48:05,424 --> 00:48:06,926
It's a common psychosis.
721
00:48:07,009 --> 00:48:09,095
- Isn't that grand?
- Is it?
722
00:48:10,137 --> 00:48:11,472
Look at it, Fester.
723
00:48:12,098 --> 00:48:13,766
The primeval ooze.
724
00:48:13,849 --> 00:48:16,227
Quicksand, fumes, toxic waste.
725
00:48:16,310 --> 00:48:18,312
It's all ours, Fester.
726
00:48:18,396 --> 00:48:20,815
You belong here, old man.
727
00:48:20,898 --> 00:48:21,899
Stay.
728
00:48:21,982 --> 00:48:23,692
You don't know what you're asking.
729
00:48:24,527 --> 00:48:27,780
You have a beautiful
wife, wonderful children,
730
00:48:28,781 --> 00:48:30,074
a wasteland.
731
00:48:31,325 --> 00:48:32,576
I'm in the way.
732
00:48:33,619 --> 00:48:34,787
In the way?
733
00:48:35,579 --> 00:48:38,457
- My brother?
- Gomez, take care!
734
00:48:40,167 --> 00:48:42,545
For you, life is all fun and games.
735
00:48:43,921 --> 00:48:46,799
A dance in a graveyard. Stench. Decay.
736
00:48:47,466 --> 00:48:49,260
But things change.
737
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:50,886
Precisely. You're back.
738
00:48:52,012 --> 00:48:55,224
All those years apart, Fester.
739
00:48:55,307 --> 00:48:57,101
We can't do that again.
740
00:49:00,187 --> 00:49:01,397
You're home.
741
00:49:25,546 --> 00:49:26,589
[GOMEZ] Fore!
742
00:49:27,631 --> 00:49:29,467
[GLASS SHATTERING]
743
00:49:30,092 --> 00:49:31,218
[DOG BARKING]
744
00:49:31,302 --> 00:49:33,012
[JUDGE] Damn you, Addams!
745
00:49:33,095 --> 00:49:35,431
[GOMEZ AND FESTER LAUGHING]
746
00:49:39,018 --> 00:49:40,019
[PUGSLEY] Uncle Fester?
747
00:49:40,853 --> 00:49:43,272
Come on, Uncle Fester. Come to the play.
748
00:49:44,398 --> 00:49:45,983
I said I was busy.
749
00:49:46,859 --> 00:49:50,779
[WEDNESDAY] But you said you'd help
us, with the Shakespeare and the pus.
750
00:49:50,863 --> 00:49:52,573
I changed my mind.
751
00:49:58,496 --> 00:50:00,748
[CHILDREN SINGING INSIDE, FAINT]
752
00:50:07,546 --> 00:50:10,508
Mrs. Addams, can I see you for a moment?
753
00:50:11,509 --> 00:50:13,886
I'm Susan Firkins. I'm
Wednesday's teacher.
754
00:50:13,969 --> 00:50:15,638
Oh, of course, Miss Firkins.
755
00:50:15,721 --> 00:50:18,182
Wednesday's told us so much about you.
756
00:50:26,565 --> 00:50:31,737
Wednesday is an excellent
student, but, frankly, I'm concerned.
757
00:50:31,820 --> 00:50:34,281
You see, this is our
class bulletin board.
758
00:50:34,365 --> 00:50:39,203
This month, our theme is our
heroes, people we love and admire.
759
00:50:39,286 --> 00:50:42,331
You see, Susan Ringo
has chosen the president.
760
00:50:42,414 --> 00:50:43,582
Isn't that sweet?
761
00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:47,503
And Harmony Feld has picked Jane Pauley.
762
00:50:49,588 --> 00:50:51,423
Have you spoken to her parents?
763
00:50:52,591 --> 00:50:55,594
But Wednesday brought in this picture,
764
00:50:56,178 --> 00:50:57,846
Calpurnia Addams.
765
00:50:58,556 --> 00:51:01,225
Wednesday's great-aunt Calpurnia.
766
00:51:01,308 --> 00:51:04,645
She was burned as a witch in 1706.
767
00:51:04,728 --> 00:51:07,690
They say she danced
naked in the town square
768
00:51:07,773 --> 00:51:09,608
and enslaved a minister.
769
00:51:10,442 --> 00:51:12,611
- Really?
- Oh, yes.
770
00:51:13,362 --> 00:51:17,825
But don't worry. We've told
Wednesday, college first.
771
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:22,371
[MARGARET] Isn't he adorable?
772
00:51:22,454 --> 00:51:24,248
I made this myself.
773
00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:25,708
It's charming.
774
00:51:25,791 --> 00:51:26,875
What is he, a lizard?
775
00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:29,003
An elf.
776
00:51:30,546 --> 00:51:32,172
Look at you.
777
00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:40,389
That's better.
778
00:51:40,973 --> 00:51:43,684
You are too precious for words.
779
00:51:43,767 --> 00:51:46,562
Why, I could just eat you alive.
780
00:51:46,645 --> 00:51:48,522
Oh, no, Margaret. Too young.
781
00:51:50,149 --> 00:51:52,610
[CHILDREN SINGING "GETTING TO KNOW YOU"]
782
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:56,447
♪ La la la la la la, la la la la la ♪
783
00:51:56,530 --> 00:51:58,741
♪ Getting to know you ♪
784
00:51:58,824 --> 00:52:03,120
♪ Getting to know all about you ♪
785
00:52:03,203 --> 00:52:05,039
♪ Getting to like you ♪
786
00:52:05,122 --> 00:52:09,585
♪ Getting to hope you like me ♪
787
00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:11,754
♪ Getting to know you ♪
788
00:52:11,837 --> 00:52:16,091
♪ Putting it my way, but nicely ♪
789
00:52:16,175 --> 00:52:18,344
♪ You are precisely ♪
790
00:52:18,427 --> 00:52:20,512
♪ My cup of tea... ♪
791
00:52:20,596 --> 00:52:23,641
Wednesday. Pugsley. I changed my mind.
792
00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:25,726
Uncle Fester.
793
00:52:32,775 --> 00:52:34,735
Gordon? Gordon?
794
00:52:35,903 --> 00:52:36,945
It's Mother.
795
00:52:40,449 --> 00:52:41,825
Damn it, where is he?
796
00:52:43,243 --> 00:52:44,912
I never should have used him.
797
00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:49,124
D> Free and easy »
798
00:52:49,208 --> 00:52:51,126
> When I am with you »
799
00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:55,923
> Getting to know what fo say »
800
00:52:56,006 --> 00:52:58,926
I knew you couldn't stay away, old man.
801
00:52:59,009 --> 00:53:01,345
> And breezy »
802
00:53:01,428 --> 00:53:05,891
» Because of all The
most beautiful and new »
803
00:53:05,974 --> 00:53:08,811
> Things that I am learning about you »
804
00:53:08,894 --> 00:53:14,191
> Day by day
805
00:53:14,274 --> 00:53:15,442
> By day b
806
00:53:15,526 --> 00:53:16,819
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
807
00:53:18,278 --> 00:53:19,405
Damn it.
808
00:53:20,864 --> 00:53:23,283
Gordon! Gordon!
809
00:53:23,367 --> 00:53:24,535
Are you there?
810
00:53:26,412 --> 00:53:27,454
Gordon.
811
00:53:30,791 --> 00:53:32,292
[EXCLAIMING]
812
00:53:32,376 --> 00:53:34,837
My goodness! Say! Look!
Would somebody come here?
813
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:37,047
Oh, my! Oh, good... Oh! Aah!
814
00:53:37,548 --> 00:53:40,050
Oh, my! Hmm! Hmm! Hmm! [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
815
00:53:40,134 --> 00:53:44,096
[WEDNESDAY] How all occasions do inform
against me and spur my dull revenge!
816
00:53:44,179 --> 00:53:47,683
Oh, from this time forth, my
thoughts be bloody, or nothing worth!
817
00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:50,269
If I must strike you dead, I will.
818
00:53:50,978 --> 00:53:52,521
[AUDIENCE MEMBERS GASPING]
819
00:53:53,313 --> 00:53:54,815
[PUGSLEY] A hit,
820
00:53:54,898 --> 00:53:57,151
a very palpable hit.
821
00:53:57,234 --> 00:53:58,944
[WEDNESDAY] Aah!
822
00:54:00,904 --> 00:54:04,074
[AUDIENCE GASPING]
823
00:54:08,328 --> 00:54:09,747
O proud death,
824
00:54:10,330 --> 00:54:13,417
what feast is toward
in thine eternal cell?
825
00:54:15,502 --> 00:54:18,881
Sweet oblivion, open your arms!
826
00:54:18,964 --> 00:54:22,342
[CHOKING AND GASPING]
827
00:54:36,398 --> 00:54:37,733
Bravo!
828
00:54:39,401 --> 00:54:41,737
- Bravo!
- Bravo!
829
00:54:42,279 --> 00:54:44,948
Bravo!
830
00:54:46,492 --> 00:54:47,868
Bravo!
831
00:54:48,494 --> 00:54:49,661
Bravo!
832
00:54:49,745 --> 00:54:52,956
There were sailors, pirates
833
00:54:53,665 --> 00:54:57,336
and a plane full of
tourists from Miami Beach,
834
00:54:58,086 --> 00:55:00,088
all lost in the Triangle.
835
00:55:00,672 --> 00:55:03,842
Uncle Fester, will you
take me there someday?
836
00:55:03,926 --> 00:55:05,427
It's a promise.
837
00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:08,013
- Good night, Wednesday.
- Good night.
838
00:55:08,096 --> 00:55:09,598
You were terrific.
839
00:55:12,100 --> 00:55:13,310
Uncle Fester?
840
00:55:35,123 --> 00:55:37,251
[MORTICIA] A theatrical triumph.
841
00:55:38,001 --> 00:55:39,419
It's like a dream.
842
00:55:40,128 --> 00:55:43,257
When we first met, it was
an evening much like this.
843
00:55:44,049 --> 00:55:45,676
Magic in the air.
844
00:55:46,802 --> 00:55:47,970
A boy.
845
00:55:48,762 --> 00:55:50,222
A girl.
846
00:55:50,305 --> 00:55:52,015
An open grave.
847
00:55:52,975 --> 00:55:54,351
It was my first funeral.
848
00:55:55,769 --> 00:55:57,813
You were so beautiful.
849
00:55:58,689 --> 00:56:00,440
Pale and mysterious.
850
00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:03,068
No one even looked at the corpse.
851
00:56:04,403 --> 00:56:06,196
Your cousin, Balthazar.
852
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:08,448
You were still a suspect.
853
00:56:10,242 --> 00:56:13,954
I couldn't stop staring at
you all through the eulogy.
854
00:56:15,289 --> 00:56:18,750
Your eyes, your mustache,
855
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:21,295
your laugh.
856
00:56:23,255 --> 00:56:25,007
You bewitched me.
857
00:56:26,341 --> 00:56:28,510
I proposed that very night.
858
00:56:29,511 --> 00:56:32,931
Just think, someday we'll be buried here
859
00:56:33,724 --> 00:56:38,604
side by side, six feet
under in matching coffins.
860
00:56:39,771 --> 00:56:41,732
Our lifeless bodies
861
00:56:41,815 --> 00:56:46,111
rotting together for all eternity.
862
00:56:48,572 --> 00:56:50,032
Cara mia.
863
00:56:51,408 --> 00:56:53,452
Mon sauvage.
864
00:57:23,982 --> 00:57:25,734
[MRS. CRAVEN] Hey, Bigfoot.
865
00:57:27,110 --> 00:57:28,695
[GRUNTS]
866
00:57:30,322 --> 00:57:32,366
Don't stare. Just get me out.
867
00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:33,909
[GRUNTS]
868
00:57:39,456 --> 00:57:40,582
Did you like the blood?
869
00:57:41,875 --> 00:57:44,503
- I was so proud.
- Weren't we all?
870
00:57:45,295 --> 00:57:47,214
Wednesday, play with your food.
871
00:57:50,842 --> 00:57:54,930
[GRANNY YELLING]
872
00:57:55,555 --> 00:57:56,640
Mama.
873
00:57:56,723 --> 00:57:58,850
Who put this in here?
874
00:57:58,934 --> 00:58:00,394
[BOTH SNICKERING]
875
00:58:01,561 --> 00:58:03,981
- [GRANNY] That's for company.
- Rascals.
876
00:58:04,064 --> 00:58:05,107
[FOOTSTEPS]
877
00:58:05,190 --> 00:58:08,235
[GOMEZ] Doctor, you were so right.
878
00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:10,779
- What an evening.
- [MORTICIA] Fester fit right in.
879
00:58:10,862 --> 00:58:14,366
- The displacement is over.
- Well, isn't that nice?
880
00:58:14,449 --> 00:58:17,869
- Does he really have to go?
- Yes, he does.
881
00:58:17,953 --> 00:58:21,206
[GOMEZ] Well, if he insists upon leaving,
882
00:58:21,999 --> 00:58:23,750
we shall mark the occasion.
883
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:26,128
Tish?
884
00:58:26,211 --> 00:58:28,213
[MORTICIA] We've
planned a farewell party.
885
00:58:28,296 --> 00:58:30,674
[GOMEZ] We've invited the entire clan.
886
00:58:31,633 --> 00:58:33,135
What a lovely gesture.
887
00:58:33,719 --> 00:58:35,095
[MORTICIA] We're a family again,
888
00:58:35,178 --> 00:58:38,140
and we owe it all to
you, Dr. Pinder-Schloss.
889
00:58:38,223 --> 00:58:40,392
Please. Greta.
890
00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:41,768
Greta.
891
00:58:42,936 --> 00:58:45,480
Fester, walk me out.
892
00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:53,697
I'm fine, Mother. I'm
completely in control.
893
00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:56,241
They're not your family, Gordon. I am.
894
00:58:56,324 --> 00:58:58,160
They don't love you. I do.
895
00:58:58,243 --> 00:59:01,705
They're evil and corrupt and degraded.
896
00:59:01,788 --> 00:59:05,375
- I can give you that.
- I'm fine. Really.
897
00:59:05,459 --> 00:59:07,127
We'll see. Open up!
898
00:59:12,716 --> 00:59:13,717
[GASPS]
899
00:59:29,149 --> 00:59:30,776
[DOOR CREAKING]
900
00:59:36,448 --> 00:59:37,574
A party?
901
00:59:38,450 --> 00:59:39,659
For me?
902
00:59:41,078 --> 00:59:42,079
Here?
903
00:59:45,415 --> 00:59:47,125
[GASPS]
904
00:59:49,628 --> 00:59:53,840
Tish, how long has it
been since we've waltzed?
905
00:59:54,758 --> 00:59:56,134
Oh, Gomez.
906
01:00:00,889 --> 01:00:02,057
Hours.
907
01:00:21,827 --> 01:00:24,830
[WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING]
908
01:00:37,926 --> 01:00:40,137
[WALTZ MUSIC CONTINUES]
909
01:00:53,859 --> 01:00:56,778
[ON CAR STEREO] d Too
legit, too legit to quit »
910
01:00:56,862 --> 01:00:58,238
> Hey, hey b
911
01:00:58,321 --> 01:01:00,699
d Too legit, too legit to quit »
912
01:01:00,782 --> 01:01:02,242
[IT CHATTERING]
913
01:01:02,325 --> 01:01:04,494
- [LURCH GRUNTS]
- [IT CONTINUES CHATTERING]
914
01:01:08,081 --> 01:01:09,124
[GRUNTS]
915
01:01:09,207 --> 01:01:10,959
It, old man!
916
01:01:11,042 --> 01:01:13,295
[IT CHATTERING]
917
01:01:13,378 --> 01:01:15,255
You're right. Far too long.
918
01:01:15,338 --> 01:01:16,840
[IT CHATTERING]
919
01:01:20,510 --> 01:01:21,595
[SQUEALS]
920
01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:24,931
- Don't let me out of your sight.
- Don't threaten me, Margaret.
921
01:01:25,015 --> 01:01:28,143
- These people are abnormal.
- Don't exaggerate.
922
01:01:30,187 --> 01:01:32,814
[CHATTERING]
923
01:01:34,649 --> 01:01:37,277
- By all means! They're clients, Margaret.
- Oh!
924
01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:39,237
[IT] Whee!
925
01:01:42,282 --> 01:01:44,242
[WALTZ MUSIC CONTINUES]
926
01:01:45,118 --> 01:01:47,746
- Wednesday?
- Yes, Mother?
927
01:01:47,829 --> 01:01:50,373
Would you run upstairs and
check on your uncle, please?
928
01:01:52,334 --> 01:01:55,629
Why, Lumpy Addams. Look at you.
929
01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:57,589
All grown up.
930
01:01:59,799 --> 01:02:02,010
[STAIRS CREAKING]
931
01:02:09,976 --> 01:02:11,186
Uncle Fester?
932
01:02:14,439 --> 01:02:16,566
- [GORDON] I understand.
- [MRS. CRAVEN] I hope so.
933
01:02:16,650 --> 01:02:18,109
And I'm counting on you.
934
01:02:18,193 --> 01:02:20,862
Don't let me down. Don't buckle.
935
01:02:20,946 --> 01:02:23,990
[GORDON] It's not gonna be easy.
There are people everywhere.
936
01:02:24,074 --> 01:02:26,576
You can do it if you just stop whining.
937
01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:29,913
Nobody likes that. It's unattractive.
938
01:02:29,996 --> 01:02:34,417
[GORDON] All right. Fine. I will
try and reach the vault tonight.
939
01:02:34,501 --> 01:02:38,421
But if I can't, well, then that's it.
940
01:02:39,506 --> 01:02:40,590
Okay, Mother?
941
01:02:41,258 --> 01:02:43,885
I knew it. You are a fake.
942
01:02:43,969 --> 01:02:46,763
Come here, my little one.
943
01:02:46,846 --> 01:02:48,265
- Wednesday!
- Get her!
944
01:02:56,898 --> 01:02:57,899
[GASPS]
945
01:03:29,431 --> 01:03:30,974
[GORDON MUTTERING]
946
01:03:33,977 --> 01:03:37,147
[GOMEZ] Flora and Fauna Amor.
947
01:03:38,481 --> 01:03:40,442
I cannot see.
948
01:03:40,525 --> 01:03:43,361
I am blinded by such beauty.
949
01:03:43,445 --> 01:03:44,654
Gomez Addams.
950
01:03:44,738 --> 01:03:46,406
- You terrible flirt.
- Always was.
951
01:03:46,489 --> 01:03:48,033
- At least with me.
- Copycat!
952
01:03:48,116 --> 01:03:51,536
- Tag-along!
- Why, Gomez, the Amor twins.
953
01:03:51,619 --> 01:03:54,080
- I've heard so much about you.
- [FLORA] Morticia...
954
01:03:54,164 --> 01:03:55,915
You nabbed him. This darling man.
955
01:03:55,999 --> 01:03:57,667
- He was mine!
- He was mine!
956
01:03:57,751 --> 01:04:00,462
Flora, Fauna, how can I compete?
957
01:04:00,545 --> 01:04:02,380
You're twice the woman I am.
958
01:04:03,131 --> 01:04:05,884
Tully, the Amor twins.
959
01:04:05,967 --> 01:04:08,595
They're waiting for Fester. Amuse them.
960
01:04:11,014 --> 01:04:13,725
- Hello, Tully.
- Oh, my God.
961
01:04:14,517 --> 01:04:16,144
[IT CHATTERING]
962
01:04:17,395 --> 01:04:19,439
[CHATTERING CONTINUES]
963
01:04:19,522 --> 01:04:23,068
You mean you don't
know? It's too intriguing.
964
01:04:23,151 --> 01:04:26,654
Now that Fester's back, he's
king of the castle again, isn't he?
965
01:04:26,738 --> 01:04:29,074
Fester's the older
brother, so he gets it all.
966
01:04:29,157 --> 01:04:31,326
The house, the money, you name it.
967
01:04:31,409 --> 01:04:32,869
Fester's still single, isn't he?
968
01:04:33,453 --> 01:04:36,122
- [FLORA] Are you, Mr. Alford?
- Why, Fauna.
969
01:04:36,206 --> 01:04:38,833
- I'm Fauna.
- I'm Flora.
970
01:04:40,251 --> 01:04:43,671
I'm flattered. Excuse me, ladies.
971
01:04:45,673 --> 01:04:47,550
[GORDON GRUNTING]
972
01:04:48,676 --> 01:04:51,805
I can't find her
anywhere. Let's just leave.
973
01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:54,557
- Out the back.
- Now pull yourself together.
974
01:04:54,641 --> 01:04:56,476
She'll turn up, the little cockroach.
975
01:04:56,559 --> 01:04:58,520
You get to the party or
they'll suspect something.
976
01:04:58,603 --> 01:05:00,772
- I'll be down soon.
- Yes, Mother.
977
01:05:08,113 --> 01:05:11,449
Everyone, your attention, please.
978
01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:14,953
[WALTZ STOPS, FANFARE PLAYS]
979
01:05:15,787 --> 01:05:19,416
Tonight we dance for our
treasured guest of honor,
980
01:05:19,499 --> 01:05:20,917
Fester Addams.
981
01:05:23,628 --> 01:05:26,631
The mamushka!
982
01:05:26,714 --> 01:05:28,258
[LAUGHS]
983
01:05:28,341 --> 01:05:31,344
Taught to us by our Cossack cousins,
984
01:05:31,428 --> 01:05:34,556
the mamushka has been
an Addams family tradition
985
01:05:34,639 --> 01:05:35,807
since God knows when.
986
01:05:36,391 --> 01:05:39,269
We danced the mamushka
while Nero fiddled.
987
01:05:39,352 --> 01:05:42,480
We danced the mamushka at Waterloo.
988
01:05:42,564 --> 01:05:46,609
We danced the mamushka
for Jack the Ripper.
989
01:05:47,277 --> 01:05:50,488
And now, Fester Addams,
990
01:05:50,572 --> 01:05:54,659
this mamushka is for you.
991
01:05:59,414 --> 01:06:01,458
["MAMUSHKA" PLAYING]
992
01:06:15,096 --> 01:06:20,476
♪ There is no quibbling
The sweetest relationship ♪
993
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:24,480
♪ Is sibling to sibling ♪
994
01:06:25,982 --> 01:06:31,321
♪ My emotions have left me dribbling ♪
995
01:06:32,363 --> 01:06:37,577
♪ I'll stab anyone who
starts Gnawing and nibbling ♪
996
01:06:38,161 --> 01:06:41,164
♪ At my feelings ♪
997
01:06:41,247 --> 01:06:46,002
♪ For my sibling ♪
998
01:06:47,045 --> 01:06:49,631
♪ We've danced it in the graveyards ♪
999
01:06:49,714 --> 01:06:51,466
♪ Where the maggots bill and coo ♪
1000
01:06:51,549 --> 01:06:53,259
♪ It's perfect for beheadings ♪
1001
01:06:53,343 --> 01:06:54,802
♪ Where the head says "How-dee-do?" ♪
1002
01:06:54,886 --> 01:06:57,013
♪ Mamushka! Mamushka! ♪
1003
01:06:57,096 --> 01:06:58,890
♪ I doff my old babushka! ♪
1004
01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:00,892
♪ With a hey and a hey
And a hey and a hey ♪
1005
01:07:00,975 --> 01:07:02,268
♪ The dance of brotherly love ♪
1006
01:07:02,352 --> 01:07:04,312
♪ Just kill the carioca ♪
1007
01:07:04,395 --> 01:07:06,439
♪ Continental Susie Q ♪
1008
01:07:06,522 --> 01:07:07,815
♪ Garotte the old gavotte ♪
1009
01:07:07,899 --> 01:07:10,151
♪ And disembowel the djpsy doo! ♪
1010
01:07:10,235 --> 01:07:11,986
♪ Mamushka! Mamushka! ♪
1011
01:07:12,070 --> 01:07:13,821
♪ Let's dance it like Petrushka! ♪
1012
01:07:13,905 --> 01:07:15,740
♪ With a hey and a hey
And a hey and a hey ♪
1013
01:07:15,823 --> 01:07:17,242
♪ And a dance of brotherly love ♪
1014
01:07:17,825 --> 01:07:19,244
- ♪ Brothers! ♪
- ♪ Brothers! ♪
1015
01:07:19,327 --> 01:07:20,286
♪ Brothers! ♪
1016
01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:24,165
♪ The Brothers Karamazov And
the German Brothers Grimm ♪
1017
01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:25,667
- ♪ There's Orville Wright ♪
- ♪ And Wilbur! ♪
1018
01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:27,919
♪ Orville's nothing minus him! ♪
1019
01:07:28,002 --> 01:07:29,879
♪ The Smith Brothers
And the Marx Brothers ♪
1020
01:07:29,963 --> 01:07:32,006
♪ And the Ritz and the
Brooks And the Mills Brothers ♪
1021
01:07:32,090 --> 01:07:34,801
[SCATTING]
1022
01:07:34,884 --> 01:07:36,094
♪ The Everly Brothers
The Solomon Brothers ♪
1023
01:07:36,177 --> 01:07:37,470
♪ Nicholas Brothers, Corsican Brothers ♪
1024
01:07:37,553 --> 01:07:39,597
♪ And Dr. Joyce Brothers! Brothers! ♪
1025
01:07:39,681 --> 01:07:42,976
♪ Ringling Brothers Watch
them break their back! ♪
1026
01:07:43,059 --> 01:07:45,979
♪ The Warner Brothers Harry,
Sammy, Irving and Jack ♪
1027
01:07:46,562 --> 01:07:50,233
♪ I know there's a host of others
I've had fo neglect some brothers ♪
1028
01:07:50,316 --> 01:07:52,235
♪ Just too many names fo cram ♪
1029
01:07:52,318 --> 01:07:57,573
♪ But frankly, my dear
I don't give a damn! ♪
1030
01:08:01,703 --> 01:08:03,705
["MAMUSHKA" CONTINUES PLAYING]
1031
01:08:52,712 --> 01:08:55,923
♪ Mamushka, mamushka ♪
1032
01:08:56,007 --> 01:08:57,550
♪ He comes for his mamushka ♪
1033
01:08:57,633 --> 01:08:59,093
♪ With a hey and a hey
And a hey and a hey ♪
1034
01:08:59,177 --> 01:09:00,803
♪ And a hey and a hey
And a hey and a hey ♪
1035
01:09:00,887 --> 01:09:02,680
♪ And a hey and a hey
And a hey and a hey ♪
1036
01:09:02,764 --> 01:09:04,724
♪ And a hey and a hey
And a hey and a hey and... ♪
1037
01:09:04,807 --> 01:09:06,601
Wait!
1038
01:09:08,895 --> 01:09:15,693
♪ I swear by Mummy and Daddums ♪
1039
01:09:15,777 --> 01:09:18,780
♪ This defestable Festers ♪
1040
01:09:18,863 --> 01:09:22,116
♪ The echt Fester Addams ♪
1041
01:09:23,910 --> 01:09:27,747
♪ So hey, hey, hey,
hey Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1042
01:09:27,830 --> 01:09:31,751
♪ Let's dance the
dance Of brotherly love ♪
1043
01:09:31,834 --> 01:09:33,294
♪ Mamushka ♪
1044
01:09:33,378 --> 01:09:35,088
[PEOPLE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
1045
01:09:36,798 --> 01:09:39,300
What the hell's going on over there?
1046
01:09:39,384 --> 01:09:42,845
How would you like to be
rid of the Addamses for good?
1047
01:09:43,763 --> 01:09:44,847
I'm serious.
1048
01:09:45,765 --> 01:09:47,392
What can I do for you?
1049
01:09:49,268 --> 01:09:51,771
You are gonna love this.
1050
01:09:54,982 --> 01:09:58,069
We've been married for almost 20 years.
1051
01:09:59,612 --> 01:10:01,823
Sometimes it seems like more.
1052
01:10:01,906 --> 01:10:04,784
[IT CHATTERING]
1053
01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:08,913
Well, people grow. People change.
1054
01:10:08,996 --> 01:10:11,833
[IT CHATTERING, CHUCKLING]
1055
01:10:11,916 --> 01:10:13,251
[GIGGLES]
1056
01:10:14,001 --> 01:10:15,795
[IT CHATTERING]
1057
01:10:15,878 --> 01:10:18,464
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
1058
01:10:19,424 --> 01:10:21,509
Isn't it a beautiful night?
1059
01:10:26,639 --> 01:10:28,975
You'll come see me before
you leave, won't you, Fester?
1060
01:10:29,058 --> 01:10:31,269
I'll call once I'm alone.
1061
01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:32,895
There's your ride, girls.
1062
01:10:41,404 --> 01:10:43,281
[BOTH GIGGLING]
1063
01:10:44,782 --> 01:10:48,953
You're a marvelous
dancer. It's been such fun.
1064
01:10:49,036 --> 01:10:52,081
[IT CHATTERING]
1065
01:10:52,165 --> 01:10:54,876
Oh, I can't. We mustn't.
1066
01:10:55,460 --> 01:10:57,044
[IT CHATTERING]
1067
01:10:59,672 --> 01:11:00,840
[HORN HONKS]
1068
01:11:01,549 --> 01:11:02,592
Call me!
1069
01:11:02,675 --> 01:11:04,802
♪ Mamushka, mamushka ♪
1070
01:11:04,886 --> 01:11:07,263
♪ I swallowed with one whoosh-ka ♪
1071
01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:08,806
♪ And a hey and a hey ♪
1072
01:11:08,890 --> 01:11:11,017
♪ And a hey and a hey and a hey ♪
1073
01:11:11,893 --> 01:11:13,102
♪ Hey, hey ♪
1074
01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:17,690
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1075
01:11:17,773 --> 01:11:19,066
Gordon.
1076
01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:21,944
Gordon, Gordon, stop it. Gordon, no.
1077
01:11:22,028 --> 01:11:24,405
- ♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
- Stop it, Gordon. Stop it!
1078
01:11:24,489 --> 01:11:25,615
Stop it, this instant.
1079
01:11:27,074 --> 01:11:30,369
- Is that lipstick all over your face?
- From the twins.
1080
01:11:30,453 --> 01:11:33,206
The beauteous Amor twins.
1081
01:11:33,289 --> 01:11:34,373
The twins?
1082
01:11:35,166 --> 01:11:37,710
Gordon, I don't understand
this. Let me get this clear.
1083
01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:41,839
- Have you been having a good time?
- Yes! I have!
1084
01:11:41,923 --> 01:11:43,299
It was marvelous.
1085
01:11:43,841 --> 01:11:47,220
I sang up a storm and
danced till I dropped!
1086
01:11:47,803 --> 01:11:51,474
♪ The mamushka, the mamushka ♪
1087
01:11:52,058 --> 01:11:56,145
♪ And a hey and a hey And
a hey and a hey and a hey ♪
1088
01:11:58,814 --> 01:12:01,275
- Mother?
- Mother? Mother? Who is that?
1089
01:12:01,359 --> 01:12:04,612
- I don't think I recall.
- Mother, please.
1090
01:12:04,695 --> 01:12:07,406
I'm just fine. I'm dandy.
1091
01:12:07,490 --> 01:12:10,117
Don't concern yourself about me, Gordon.
1092
01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:13,204
Please, return to your depraved orgy.
1093
01:12:13,913 --> 01:12:16,040
Sometimes I think you're not even my son.
1094
01:12:16,958 --> 01:12:19,961
- Don't say that.
- I'm just your mother.
1095
01:12:20,044 --> 01:12:24,006
You only owe me your
entire existence on this planet.
1096
01:12:24,090 --> 01:12:27,593
Please, Gordon, by all
means, go sing, dance, date.
1097
01:12:27,677 --> 01:12:30,888
Oh, Mother, I'm so terribly sorry.
1098
01:12:32,598 --> 01:12:33,724
[SOBBING]
1099
01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:37,353
It was just a party. It's over.
1100
01:12:38,229 --> 01:12:39,522
It means nothing.
1101
01:12:40,398 --> 01:12:43,609
The Siamese twins,
the hunchback, Cousin It,
1102
01:12:44,277 --> 01:12:45,319
they're not you.
1103
01:12:46,028 --> 01:12:48,322
Say it, Gordon. Make me believe it.
1104
01:12:48,906 --> 01:12:52,326
I love you. And I want money.
1105
01:12:52,952 --> 01:12:54,245
We've got to find Tully.
1106
01:12:54,328 --> 01:12:55,538
[GORDON THUDS]
1107
01:12:59,834 --> 01:13:02,795
Look, our little boy.
1108
01:13:02,878 --> 01:13:04,463
All tuckered out.
1109
01:13:04,547 --> 01:13:08,509
It's so sweet. He looks
just like a little entree.
1110
01:13:10,094 --> 01:13:13,139
- Where's the party?
- It's over, darling.
1111
01:13:13,931 --> 01:13:17,518
- Have you seen your sister?
- Not since before the mamushka.
1112
01:13:18,519 --> 01:13:19,645
Gomez.
1113
01:13:20,354 --> 01:13:23,190
Fan out. Pugsley, head for the dung heap.
1114
01:13:23,274 --> 01:13:25,860
Mama and Morticia, the
shallow graves. I'll take the abyss.
1115
01:13:25,943 --> 01:13:27,570
Lurch, check out the bottomless pit.
1116
01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:30,072
- Fester?
- Up here!
1117
01:13:30,698 --> 01:13:35,286
Fester, you take the ravine and
the unmarked abandoned well.
1118
01:13:35,369 --> 01:13:39,373
Someone should stay behind
in case she comes back.
1119
01:13:39,915 --> 01:13:41,751
Good man. Good thinking!
1120
01:13:41,834 --> 01:13:43,544
Then who'll take the swamp?
1121
01:13:47,381 --> 01:13:50,509
That's the spirit, Thing.
Lend a hand. Let's go!
1122
01:13:57,683 --> 01:13:58,684
[MRS. CRAVEN] Gordon!
1123
01:14:00,186 --> 01:14:01,479
Don't dawdle.
1124
01:14:03,064 --> 01:14:04,148
[WHIMPERS]
1125
01:14:07,485 --> 01:14:09,779
- [SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]
- [TULLY] Hmm.
1126
01:14:09,862 --> 01:14:11,614
[WAVES CRASHING]
1127
01:14:13,282 --> 01:14:16,035
- What are you doing?
- I'm relaxing.
1128
01:14:17,203 --> 01:14:18,412
Taking a little sun.
1129
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:20,206
Have you gone mad?
1130
01:14:20,956 --> 01:14:22,041
Au contraire.
1131
01:14:27,088 --> 01:14:28,589
[GRUNTS]
1132
01:14:30,049 --> 01:14:31,842
[PUGSLEY] Wednesday!
1133
01:14:34,553 --> 01:14:36,639
Wednesday!
1134
01:14:39,016 --> 01:14:40,351
[GRANNY] Wednesday!
1135
01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:43,312
Wednesday!
1136
01:15:12,883 --> 01:15:16,178
[GATE RATTLING, SNARLING]
1137
01:15:20,641 --> 01:15:24,353
- What is all this?
- This is a restraining order.
1138
01:15:24,437 --> 01:15:26,021
- A restraining order?
- [TULLY] Yes.
1139
01:15:26,105 --> 01:15:31,110
It requires you to keep a distance
of 1,000 yards from this house.
1140
01:15:31,193 --> 01:15:33,612
I am restrained from my own house?
1141
01:15:33,696 --> 01:15:36,323
[TULLY] Not your house,
mustache. Not anymore.
1142
01:15:36,407 --> 01:15:39,034
It belongs to the oldest
living descendant,
1143
01:15:39,118 --> 01:15:42,705
the elder brother, Fester Addams.
1144
01:15:42,788 --> 01:15:45,708
- Fester adores Gomez.
- [TULLY] No, no, he's afraid of him.
1145
01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:49,003
Seeing the twins brought it all
back. You're bitter rivals, Gomez.
1146
01:15:49,086 --> 01:15:52,631
- I demand to speak with Fester.
- Sorry. No can do.
1147
01:15:53,299 --> 01:15:56,010
He's very hurt. Just leave.
1148
01:15:56,093 --> 01:15:57,595
[GATE RATTLING]
1149
01:15:58,387 --> 01:16:00,514
But he isn't even Uncle Fester.
1150
01:16:04,268 --> 01:16:07,855
Have no fear. Justice shall prevail.
1151
01:16:07,938 --> 01:16:09,774
The courts will decide.
1152
01:16:10,357 --> 01:16:14,278
They say a man who represents
himself has a fool for a client.
1153
01:16:14,361 --> 01:16:16,489
Well, with God as my witness,
1154
01:16:16,572 --> 01:16:18,866
I am that fool!
1155
01:16:19,450 --> 01:16:23,746
Therefore, it is with no small
amount of personal satisfaction
1156
01:16:24,497 --> 01:16:29,043
that I declare Fester Addams
legal executor of the Addams estate
1157
01:16:29,126 --> 01:16:32,379
and rightful owner of all possessions
1158
01:16:32,463 --> 01:16:34,715
and properties contained therein,
1159
01:16:34,799 --> 01:16:36,509
with one exception.
1160
01:16:36,592 --> 01:16:38,928
Gomez Addams,
1161
01:16:39,011 --> 01:16:43,140
I believe these are yours.
1162
01:16:44,099 --> 01:16:45,100
[LAUGHING]
1163
01:17:32,398 --> 01:17:35,693
[WAGON SQUEAKING]
1164
01:18:00,509 --> 01:18:02,219
[GATE CRYING]
1165
01:18:14,023 --> 01:18:15,608
[ALL SCREAMING]
1166
01:18:21,947 --> 01:18:25,284
- You are doing this on purpose.
- That's right, Mother. Isn't this fun?
1167
01:18:25,367 --> 01:18:26,660
I'll race you back.
1168
01:18:27,745 --> 01:18:29,038
[ROOSTER CROWS]
1169
01:18:29,121 --> 01:18:31,457
[MORTICIA] Yes, we've
been forced from our home.
1170
01:18:32,333 --> 01:18:35,044
Yes, we've been betrayed
by those we trusted.
1171
01:18:35,836 --> 01:18:39,548
But we are Addamses,
and we will not submit.
1172
01:18:40,883 --> 01:18:43,886
Who recalls the fable of
the tortoise and the hare?
1173
01:18:44,637 --> 01:18:47,932
The swift yet lazy little cottontail
1174
01:18:48,015 --> 01:18:50,434
and his slow but determined companion?
1175
01:18:51,268 --> 01:18:52,978
What does this story teach us?
1176
01:18:53,062 --> 01:18:55,648
Kill the hare! Skin it. Boil it.
1177
01:18:55,731 --> 01:18:58,859
- Put the tortoise on the highway.
- During rush hour.
1178
01:18:58,943 --> 01:19:01,820
Yes. We will survive.
1179
01:19:02,571 --> 01:19:06,408
Poison us. Strangle us. Break our bones.
1180
01:19:06,492 --> 01:19:08,077
We will come back for more.
1181
01:19:08,869 --> 01:19:10,621
And why?
1182
01:19:10,704 --> 01:19:12,247
Because we like it.
1183
01:19:12,331 --> 01:19:14,249
Because we're Addamses.
1184
01:19:14,333 --> 01:19:15,751
[WEAKLY] We're Addamses.
1185
01:19:18,003 --> 01:19:19,838
[M.C. HAMMER SONG PLAYING ON BOOM BOX]
1186
01:19:23,926 --> 01:19:26,637
- Here, Lurch. On the house.
- [GRUNTS]
1187
01:19:34,979 --> 01:19:37,231
[LURCH'S STOMACH RUMBLING]
1188
01:19:43,612 --> 01:19:47,199
We have so many homemakers
reentering the workforce.
1189
01:19:47,282 --> 01:19:49,243
Your domestic skills
can be very valuable.
1190
01:19:49,994 --> 01:19:52,997
- College?
- Private tutors.
1191
01:19:53,998 --> 01:19:55,916
- Major?
- Spells and hexes.
1192
01:19:57,334 --> 01:19:58,544
Liberal Arts.
1193
01:19:59,545 --> 01:20:03,257
What about your husband?
Is he currently employed?
1194
01:20:04,216 --> 01:20:06,260
He's going through a
bad patch at the moment,
1195
01:20:07,094 --> 01:20:08,637
but it's not his fault.
1196
01:20:08,721 --> 01:20:10,389
Of course not.
1197
01:20:10,472 --> 01:20:14,059
[SIGHS] What is he, a
loafer? A hopeless layabout?
1198
01:20:14,143 --> 01:20:15,644
A shiftless dreamer?
1199
01:20:18,188 --> 01:20:19,440
Not anymore.
1200
01:20:25,404 --> 01:20:28,866
- Is this made from real lemons?
- Yes.
1201
01:20:28,949 --> 01:20:31,410
I only like all-natural
fruits and beverages
1202
01:20:31,493 --> 01:20:34,621
organically grown with no preservatives.
1203
01:20:34,705 --> 01:20:38,000
- Are you sure they're real lemons?
- Yes.
1204
01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:40,085
Well, I'll tell you what.
1205
01:20:40,169 --> 01:20:41,378
I'll buy a cup
1206
01:20:41,462 --> 01:20:44,715
if you buy a box of my
delicious Girl Scout cookies.
1207
01:20:44,798 --> 01:20:46,300
Do we have a deal?
1208
01:20:46,383 --> 01:20:48,218
Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
1209
01:20:58,562 --> 01:20:59,688
[WEDNESDAY SIGHS]
1210
01:21:01,023 --> 01:21:03,567
[MORTICIA] And so, the witch
lured Hansel and Gretel
1211
01:21:03,650 --> 01:21:07,488
into the candy house by
promising them more sweets.
1212
01:21:07,571 --> 01:21:09,907
And she told them to look in the oven.
1213
01:21:09,990 --> 01:21:14,036
And she was about to push
them in when, lo and behold,
1214
01:21:14,119 --> 01:21:17,331
Hansel pushed the poor, defenseless witch
1215
01:21:17,414 --> 01:21:18,957
into the oven instead,
1216
01:21:19,041 --> 01:21:20,667
where she was burned alive,
1217
01:21:21,293 --> 01:21:22,795
writhing in agony.
1218
01:21:26,173 --> 01:21:30,803
Now, boys and girls, what
do you think that feels like?
1219
01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:36,642
[ALL CRYING]
1220
01:21:57,663 --> 01:21:58,747
[WOMAN] Ooh!
1221
01:22:20,352 --> 01:22:22,563
[TV AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
1222
01:22:24,439 --> 01:22:26,233
Welcome fo the show.
1223
01:22:26,316 --> 01:22:28,318
Voodoo witch doctors
here in the United States.
1224
01:22:28,402 --> 01:22:29,611
[GRANNY] Here, kitty, Kitty.
1225
01:22:29,695 --> 01:22:33,782
Do they really exist or
is this just tabloid hooey?
1226
01:22:33,866 --> 01:22:35,826
Wed love you to call
in with your comments.
1227
01:22:38,620 --> 01:22:40,247
After lunch, we'll try again.
1228
01:22:42,124 --> 01:22:43,125
Yes, Mother.
1229
01:22:47,629 --> 01:22:49,631
We'll find the money.
1230
01:22:50,507 --> 01:22:53,635
Meanwhile, we have this
little nest, quiet and cozy
1231
01:22:53,719 --> 01:22:56,221
without that dreadful family.
1232
01:22:57,639 --> 01:22:58,891
Yes, Mother.
1233
01:22:59,641 --> 01:23:02,644
So you claim that your
son was brainwashed
1234
01:23:02,728 --> 01:23:06,857
by voodoo witch doctors
and forced to recruit others.
1235
01:23:06,940 --> 01:23:07,941
Let's take a call.
1236
01:23:08,025 --> 01:23:09,484
Hello, Sally.
1237
01:23:09,568 --> 01:23:12,905
Mr. Addams, please stop calling.
1238
01:23:12,988 --> 01:23:14,865
We do not know where they meet.
1239
01:23:14,948 --> 01:23:16,116
Let's take another call.
1240
01:23:18,619 --> 01:23:21,830
Gomez, why don't we go for a drive?
1241
01:23:21,914 --> 01:23:24,166
- The whole family.
- A drive?
1242
01:23:25,042 --> 01:23:26,501
And miss Gilligan?
1243
01:23:26,585 --> 01:23:28,128
Dinner's gonna be late.
1244
01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,715
- Here, boy. Here, boy.
- [DOG BARKING]
1245
01:23:34,968 --> 01:23:37,221
[DOOR CREAKING]
1246
01:23:39,139 --> 01:23:40,224
[MRS. CRAVEN] Gordon.
1247
01:23:41,516 --> 01:23:42,601
Gordon!
1248
01:23:43,435 --> 01:23:45,437
[WOLF HOWLING]
1249
01:24:13,340 --> 01:24:14,925
[LURCH SNORING]
1250
01:24:45,747 --> 01:24:47,040
[KNOCKING]
1251
01:24:50,085 --> 01:24:52,421
I would like to speak
with Fester, please.
1252
01:25:01,763 --> 01:25:05,851
You're a desperate woman
consumed by greed and bitterness.
1253
01:25:06,476 --> 01:25:09,771
- We could have been such friends.
- Gordon, let's get started.
1254
01:25:09,855 --> 01:25:11,440
- But, Mother.
- Stop stalling.
1255
01:25:11,523 --> 01:25:13,984
I'm not stalling. Stop badgering me.
1256
01:25:16,528 --> 01:25:19,865
[MRS. CRAVEN] The vault,
Mrs. Addams. Any thoughts?
1257
01:25:19,948 --> 01:25:22,743
- [MORTICIA] None whatsoever.
- Tully, take over. Tighten it.
1258
01:25:22,826 --> 01:25:24,703
[TULLY] But I got this stomach
thing when I torture people.
1259
01:25:24,786 --> 01:25:25,954
[MRS. CRAVEN] Do it.
1260
01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:28,332
[RACK TIGHTENS]
1261
01:25:29,166 --> 01:25:30,208
Again.
1262
01:25:34,463 --> 01:25:36,048
- [GROANS]
- [WHIMPERS]
1263
01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:37,341
[RACK TIGHTENS]
1264
01:25:39,217 --> 01:25:40,302
[MRS. CRAVEN] Tighter.
1265
01:25:42,512 --> 01:25:43,638
[MORTICIA GROANS]
1266
01:25:44,890 --> 01:25:46,266
You've done this before.
1267
01:26:34,272 --> 01:26:37,359
Who is it? We're paid through Thursday.
1268
01:26:38,568 --> 01:26:40,487
Mor... Morticia.
1269
01:26:40,570 --> 01:26:41,571
Morticia.
1270
01:26:42,906 --> 01:26:44,616
Morticia what?
1271
01:26:44,699 --> 01:26:45,867
Slow down!
1272
01:26:45,951 --> 01:26:47,327
It's terrible when you stutter.
1273
01:26:59,256 --> 01:27:01,133
[TAPPING MORSE CODE]
1274
01:27:01,216 --> 01:27:05,720
Morticia in danger.
1275
01:27:05,804 --> 01:27:07,139
Stop.
1276
01:27:07,222 --> 01:27:11,309
Send help at once. Stop!
1277
01:27:13,770 --> 01:27:16,648
You can't! Not with red-hot pokers!
1278
01:27:17,315 --> 01:27:18,567
Is this gonna smell?
1279
01:27:18,650 --> 01:27:19,776
Tully Alford,
1280
01:27:20,318 --> 01:27:23,947
charlatan, deadbeat, parasite.
1281
01:27:24,739 --> 01:27:26,533
How Gomez adored you.
1282
01:27:26,616 --> 01:27:28,994
Well, not enough.
1283
01:27:30,120 --> 01:27:32,956
Morticia, please.
1284
01:27:33,540 --> 01:27:37,294
And dear Fester, which is the real you?
1285
01:27:38,044 --> 01:27:41,465
The loathsome, underhanded
monster you've become
1286
01:27:41,548 --> 01:27:45,177
or the loathsome, underhanded
monster we came to love?
1287
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:46,553
Don't ask me.
1288
01:28:03,778 --> 01:28:06,573
I know what you're feeling, Fester.
1289
01:28:06,656 --> 01:28:07,741
[MRS. CRAVEN] Gordon!
1290
01:28:09,451 --> 01:28:12,662
Gordon, I have a thought.
Just a notion, top of my head.
1291
01:28:12,746 --> 01:28:14,206
Tell me what you think?
1292
01:28:14,831 --> 01:28:18,418
Since you and Mrs.
Addams are so very close...
1293
01:28:20,170 --> 01:28:21,213
be my guest.
1294
01:28:24,508 --> 01:28:25,800
Addams!
1295
01:28:25,884 --> 01:28:27,552
- Cara mia!
- Morn cher!
1296
01:28:27,636 --> 01:28:29,888
Darling, take care.
1297
01:28:30,847 --> 01:28:33,517
Dirty pool, old man. Never again!
1298
01:28:41,775 --> 01:28:42,776
[MORTICIA GASPS]
1299
01:28:44,778 --> 01:28:46,363
One for you, Tully.
1300
01:28:47,405 --> 01:28:48,657
And now...
1301
01:28:58,708 --> 01:29:00,168
One for me.
1302
01:29:00,252 --> 01:29:03,046
- Gomez, I'm on retainer.
- Let him up.
1303
01:29:13,139 --> 01:29:15,767
That's right. Now get moving, Addams.
1304
01:29:19,396 --> 01:29:20,564
Take him to the vault,
1305
01:29:22,148 --> 01:29:24,067
and if you're not back in one hour...
1306
01:29:25,527 --> 01:29:27,612
[GERMAN ACCENT] I displace her.
1307
01:29:31,866 --> 01:29:34,536
- [VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS]
- Tish, seeing you like this,
1308
01:29:35,161 --> 01:29:36,371
my blood boils.
1309
01:29:36,454 --> 01:29:37,789
As does mine.
1310
01:29:39,040 --> 01:29:41,710
- This wheel of pain.
- Our wheel.
1311
01:29:42,419 --> 01:29:45,839
To live without you,
only that would be torture.
1312
01:29:45,922 --> 01:29:49,551
A day alone, only that would be death.
1313
01:29:51,761 --> 01:29:53,221
Knock it off.
1314
01:29:53,305 --> 01:29:54,306
[VIOLIN MUSIC STOPS]
1315
01:29:55,223 --> 01:29:57,058
The vault, Addams, right now.
1316
01:30:06,526 --> 01:30:09,904
- [SNIFFLING] But, Mother, can't we...
- Can it, Gordon.
1317
01:30:09,988 --> 01:30:13,283
Stop dragging your feet. You disgust me!
1318
01:30:14,326 --> 01:30:16,828
You're nothing but a
useless, sniveling baby.
1319
01:30:16,911 --> 01:30:18,371
A stone around my neck.
1320
01:30:19,122 --> 01:30:22,751
What was I thinking? I should
have left you where I found you.
1321
01:30:24,169 --> 01:30:26,588
No tricks, Gomez!
1322
01:30:27,797 --> 01:30:29,674
That's the wrong book.
1323
01:30:38,933 --> 01:30:39,934
Allow me.
1324
01:30:43,521 --> 01:30:44,856
[QUIETLY] Good show, old man.
1325
01:30:47,692 --> 01:30:51,321
Put that book down, Gordon.
You don't know what it can do.
1326
01:30:52,155 --> 01:30:55,492
- It's not just literature.
- Oh, really?
1327
01:30:55,575 --> 01:30:56,660
[WIND GUSTS]
1328
01:30:57,452 --> 01:30:58,745
Quickly, darling.
1329
01:30:58,828 --> 01:31:00,330
[TULLY] Gordon, I'm your friend.
1330
01:31:01,164 --> 01:31:04,959
- Think of the doubloons.
- They're not yours, Tully.
1331
01:31:05,585 --> 01:31:06,586
Back off!
1332
01:31:06,670 --> 01:31:10,382
Leather straps. Red-hot pokers.
1333
01:31:10,465 --> 01:31:11,675
Later, my dearest.
1334
01:31:11,758 --> 01:31:14,803
Keep the book closed,
Gordon. Listen to Mother.
1335
01:31:14,886 --> 01:31:18,932
I'll never listen to
you, never ever again.
1336
01:31:19,015 --> 01:31:22,102
I had to be strict with you
because I cared. Put it down!
1337
01:31:22,185 --> 01:31:24,646
You never really loved me.
1338
01:31:25,313 --> 01:31:26,439
Fester, this way!
1339
01:31:26,523 --> 01:31:29,609
Stop whining, you little
good-for-nothing. Be a man!
1340
01:31:29,693 --> 01:31:33,154
You were a terrible mother!
1341
01:31:33,697 --> 01:31:36,282
There! I said it.
1342
01:31:36,366 --> 01:31:38,076
[WIND HOWLING]
1343
01:31:45,125 --> 01:31:46,167
Aah!
1344
01:31:46,793 --> 01:31:47,961
[GROWLS]
1345
01:31:51,047 --> 01:31:52,298
[WHINNIES]
1346
01:31:55,385 --> 01:31:57,387
[SCREAMING]
1347
01:32:15,321 --> 01:32:18,658
[HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING]
1348
01:32:27,333 --> 01:32:28,418
Are they dead?
1349
01:32:29,294 --> 01:32:30,420
Does it matter?
1350
01:32:30,503 --> 01:32:32,338
[WOLF HOWLING]
1351
01:32:47,729 --> 01:32:48,730
[DOOR OPENS]
1352
01:32:48,813 --> 01:32:50,315
[ALL] Trick or...
1353
01:32:50,398 --> 01:32:51,649
[ALL SCREAMING]
1354
01:32:54,444 --> 01:32:55,612
[GRUNTS]
1355
01:32:55,695 --> 01:32:56,905
[PUGSLEY] Here we come!
1356
01:32:57,489 --> 01:32:59,824
- Pugsley, old man.
- [MORTICIA] Why, look at you.
1357
01:32:59,908 --> 01:33:00,909
[GASPS]
1358
01:33:04,621 --> 01:33:05,663
How do you like it?
1359
01:33:05,747 --> 01:33:06,956
[GASPING WITH PLEASURE]
1360
01:33:07,832 --> 01:33:11,044
What can I say? He's gonna break hearts.
1361
01:33:11,127 --> 01:33:12,212
[MARGARET] Trick or treat.
1362
01:33:12,295 --> 01:33:14,088
[IT CHATTERING]
1363
01:33:14,756 --> 01:33:17,133
Hello, Margaret. Cousin It.
1364
01:33:17,217 --> 01:33:21,012
- I almost didn't recognize you.
- Isn't he handsome?
1365
01:33:21,095 --> 01:33:24,265
Everyone keeps asking
where he bought his costume.
1366
01:33:24,349 --> 01:33:25,475
It is a wonderful hat.
1367
01:33:25,558 --> 01:33:27,143
[IT CHATTERING]
1368
01:33:27,227 --> 01:33:29,896
What are you, darling?
Where's your costume?
1369
01:33:30,480 --> 01:33:32,816
This is my costume.
I'm a homicidal maniac.
1370
01:33:32,899 --> 01:33:34,442
They look just like everyone else.
1371
01:33:39,781 --> 01:33:42,867
[FESTER] I'm so glad I can
spend this night with my family,
1372
01:33:43,493 --> 01:33:45,370
now that I've got my memory back.
1373
01:33:45,453 --> 01:33:49,958
Thank God for that lightning.
Knocked some sense into you.
1374
01:33:50,041 --> 01:33:52,794
[IT CHATTERING]
1375
01:33:52,877 --> 01:33:54,546
[GOMEZ] You remember, old man.
1376
01:33:54,629 --> 01:33:59,551
Dr. Pinder-Schloss really did find
Fester tangled in a tuna net 25 years ago,
1377
01:34:00,176 --> 01:34:01,678
with amnesia.
1378
01:34:01,761 --> 01:34:03,596
From the Bermuda Triangle.
1379
01:34:03,680 --> 01:34:07,225
[IT CHATTERING]
1380
01:34:07,308 --> 01:34:09,978
How true. Stranger things have happened.
1381
01:34:10,061 --> 01:34:11,813
Please, Uncle Fester.
1382
01:34:12,856 --> 01:34:15,108
- Pugsley.
- For the picture.
1383
01:34:22,323 --> 01:34:25,869
[GOMEZ] All right,
everybody, time for a game.
1384
01:34:25,952 --> 01:34:28,872
What shall it be? Bobbing for apples?
1385
01:34:28,955 --> 01:34:30,081
Charades?
1386
01:34:30,164 --> 01:34:31,541
[IT CHATTERING]
1387
01:34:31,624 --> 01:34:33,626
Of course. Wake the dead.
1388
01:34:33,710 --> 01:34:35,378
Wake the dead!
1389
01:34:35,461 --> 01:34:37,422
Wake the dead!
1390
01:34:38,089 --> 01:34:40,091
Out to the cemetery. Come on, everyone.
1391
01:34:40,174 --> 01:34:41,885
I've never played this before.
1392
01:34:41,968 --> 01:34:44,220
- How does it go?
- Did you bring a shovel?
1393
01:34:44,304 --> 01:34:47,223
- Uncle Fester, will you be on my team?
- No, mine.
1394
01:34:47,307 --> 01:34:49,142
I tell you what. we'll
give you a head start.
1395
01:34:49,225 --> 01:34:51,269
Three skulls and a pelvis. How is that?
1396
01:34:55,106 --> 01:34:57,317
My own dear brother.
1397
01:35:05,116 --> 01:35:07,243
[BOTH LAUGHING]
1398
01:35:07,327 --> 01:35:09,746
- Come on.
- We'll catch up.
1399
01:35:13,333 --> 01:35:16,085
[PUGSLEY] Wake the dead! Wake the dead!
1400
01:35:17,295 --> 01:35:18,838
[WEDNESDAY] Uncle Atlas, wake up.
1401
01:35:20,715 --> 01:35:22,800
[PUGSLEY] Come on,
Aunt LaBorgia, wake up.
1402
01:35:22,884 --> 01:35:24,302
[FESTER] No, no, no, children.
1403
01:35:24,385 --> 01:35:27,847
You have to dig. That's half the fun.
1404
01:35:39,025 --> 01:35:41,527
Oh, Tish, what more could we ask?
1405
01:35:44,072 --> 01:35:45,365
Gomez.
1406
01:35:51,371 --> 01:35:54,499
Cara mia, is it true?
1407
01:35:55,333 --> 01:35:58,211
Oui, mon amour.
1408
01:36:09,472 --> 01:36:11,724
[PUGSLEY] Wake up, Grandpa
Addams. It's Halloween.
1409
01:36:11,808 --> 01:36:14,477
[FESTER] Children,
look! Great-Aunt Lavinia!
1410
01:36:14,560 --> 01:36:17,105
She was beheaded by her own children!
1411
01:36:17,188 --> 01:36:18,564
[WEDNESDAY AND PUGSLEY] Yay!
1412
01:36:38,543 --> 01:36:41,004
["THE ADDAMS GROOVE" PLAYS]
97789
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