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1
00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:53,130
["Love" by Michael
Bublé playing]
2
00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:05,440
[gun cocks]
3
00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,020
[loud burst]
4
00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:21,660
[people chattering]
5
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:24,080
[sighs deeply]
6
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:28,500
[man 1] There she is!
7
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,590
[cheering and applauding]
8
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,450
Gloria!
9
00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:33,910
Hi.
10
00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:35,110
Welcome!
11
00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:36,740
- You look great.
- Thank you!
12
00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:39,120
- Darcy, where have you been?
- Hey! Hi!
13
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,750
I was just taking a
minute. Is that allowed?
14
00:01:41,950 --> 00:01:43,210
Not at your wedding.
15
00:01:43,410 --> 00:01:45,790
- Your Ketel One martini.
- Oh.
16
00:01:45,990 --> 00:01:47,560
Obrigada, Jerome.
17
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,510
Where is the groomzilla?
18
00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:52,510
Tom is not a groomzilla, okay?
19
00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:56,260
He just committed to making
every detail perfect.
20
00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:59,390
You should have taken your
father's money for this wedding.
21
00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:02,890
Then, professionals would make
everything perfecto for you.
22
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,690
Mom, I've told
you. We are adults
23
00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:08,610
and we wanted to pay for our own
wedding so it could be what we wanted.
24
00:02:08,810 --> 00:02:11,250
And this is what you wanted?
25
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:12,990
That was a printing error.
26
00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:15,780
["Love" by Michael
Bublé continues playing]
27
00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:21,790
♪ E is even more than
Anyone that you adore ♪
28
00:02:21,990 --> 00:02:28,480
♪ And love is all That
I can give to you ♪
29
00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:34,690
♪ Love is more than
Just a game for two ♪
30
00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:39,150
♪ Two in love can make it ♪
31
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,350
[drill whirring]
32
00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:47,230
♪ Love was made
For me and you ♪
33
00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:48,650
- Hoy!
- [clicking]
34
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:49,850
Oh! Oh!
35
00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:54,990
Oh! Hey!
36
00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:57,110
Oh, I almost shoot you!
37
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,280
I thought you're a pirate
but you're just a guy.
38
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,870
- [guard laughing]
- [grunts]
39
00:03:02,070 --> 00:03:05,350
[sighs] Ah, this is
for your bride, huh?
40
00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:08,290
[Tom] Yeah, trying
to surprise her.
41
00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:10,800
I saw something just
like it on Etsy,
42
00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:14,360
and it looked perfect,
but now I'm not so sure.
43
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:18,090
Now, I wanna be romantic
but not too corny.
44
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:20,070
There's a really fine
line between the two.
45
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,490
Aren't you supposed
to be over there?
46
00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:26,690
Your rehearsal party.
47
00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:27,910
Oh, my God!
48
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:31,480
I need you to talk to your
father's yoga teacher.
49
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,530
- Girlfriend?
- Yeah, whatever.
50
00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:35,490
She keeps smiling at me.
51
00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:38,530
Can you tell her to
stop smiling at me?
52
00:03:38,730 --> 00:03:39,730
Yes, Mom.
53
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,080
I will tell Dad's girlfriend
to stop smiling at you.
54
00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:43,620
That won't cause any issues.
55
00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:46,500
Also, I cannot sit at a
table with Tom's mother.
56
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:51,170
On the boat here, she tried to
start a sing-along to South Pacific.
57
00:03:51,370 --> 00:03:53,050
She's excited. Okay?
58
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,130
She's never been out
of the country before.
59
00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:57,056
What kind of a grown woman
has never left the country?
60
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,896
Please, Mom, for two days,
can you just get along with...
61
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,140
Carol!
62
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,930
♪ I'm gonna wash that
man Right outta my hair ♪
63
00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:06,390
♪ I'm gonna wash that
man Right outta my hair ♪
64
00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:09,270
♪ And send him on his way ♪
65
00:04:09,470 --> 00:04:11,120
[both laughing]
66
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,696
I've been looking
forward to this moment
67
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,070
ever since baby Tommy was
cut out of my abdomen.
68
00:04:16,270 --> 00:04:17,740
- [laughs forcefully]
- Oh, my God,
69
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:19,910
I have never been on a
private island before.
70
00:04:20,110 --> 00:04:22,620
I've never been even
on an island before.
71
00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:24,166
Actually, you know
what? That's not true.
72
00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:26,471
I went with the Heibermans.
We went to Mackinac, you know,
73
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,180
before they moved
to Bloomington.
74
00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:30,710
Have you ever been
to Mackinac, Renata?
75
00:04:30,910 --> 00:04:33,840
I don't know what that is or
most of the words you just said.
76
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,920
[Carol] Wouldn't she
just love it, Larry?
77
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,340
Oh. Hi, Darcy.
78
00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:38,540
Hey, Larry.
79
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,130
I didn't see you there. [laughs]
80
00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:41,720
- Hi.
- [Larry] Hi, Renata.
81
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,440
[Carol] Guess what?
We got you a gift.
82
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,276
- Oh, you didn't have to.
- [Carol] Yes, we did.
83
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:46,980
It's the biggest day
of our lives tomorrow.
84
00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:48,156
What are you talking about?
85
00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:50,370
- Come on, open it.
- Okay. [chuckles]
86
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,770
- Larry, she's opening.
- I get... Oh.
87
00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:55,110
Ah-uh-huh.
88
00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:57,290
Oh. Someone just left
that in the bathroom.
89
00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:01,910
[Tom] Oh, you're a
lifesaver, Margy.
90
00:05:02,110 --> 00:05:03,510
I cannot believe
I'm late for this.
91
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,850
The guests are already mingling,
92
00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:07,930
and your Darcy is talking
to both the mothers.
93
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,470
Oh, no. Go. Go,
go, go, go, go, go.
94
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,100
[Darcy] Oh!
95
00:05:15,810 --> 00:05:18,300
[Renata] You got my
daughter rusty knives?
96
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,510
It's your "something borrowed."
97
00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:23,050
Everyone in our family uses
them on their wedding day.
98
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,350
Brings you a lifetime
of good luck.
99
00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:26,560
Except for Uncle Greg
100
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,350
who ended up getting
decapitated on that forklift.
101
00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:31,190
But that's not
the knife's fault.
102
00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:32,520
[man] Darcy!
103
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,080
Dad!
104
00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,440
[praises in Spanish]
105
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,150
- Gracias.
- [both] Mm.
106
00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:40,360
- [Carol laughing]
- Carol, you look lovely.
107
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,420
[kissing] Mm. Mm.
108
00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:44,160
Larry, hello, sir.
109
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,626
- [Larry] Hey!
- I'm gonna kiss you too.
110
00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,030
- Oh.
- Mm.
111
00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:49,090
- Sorry. Done?
- Yeah, okay.
112
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,180
Renata.
113
00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:54,020
Roberto.
114
00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,850
I love that you two
are still friends.
115
00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,670
- Peekaboo! [chuckles]
- Oh.
116
00:05:59,870 --> 00:06:01,050
Hi!
117
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:03,010
[both] Mwah. Mwah.
118
00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:05,240
Mm!
119
00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:09,470
Oh, Darcy, I am so
honored to bear witness
120
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,910
to this sacred observance
of rebirth and devotion.
121
00:06:13,990 --> 00:06:16,620
- Same.
- Thank you. [chuckles]
122
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,650
[gasps] Renata.
123
00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:21,920
[dramatic music plays]
124
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,030
I need to go to
the ladies' room.
125
00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:27,530
[Carol] Hey, me too.
126
00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:30,720
When I'm in formal wear, I like
to pee standing up. How about you?
127
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:33,960
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
128
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,270
Thank you, Margy.
129
00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:39,020
Oh, hey.
130
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,470
- Hey.
- [Tom] How are you?
131
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,980
[Darcy sighs]
132
00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:47,720
- Oh.
- [whispers] Oh, my God.
133
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,030
- That's for you.
- Thanks.
134
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,450
Big papi.
135
00:06:50,590 --> 00:06:52,390
- My man. Mwah.
- [Robert grunts]
136
00:06:52,590 --> 00:06:54,890
- This... I just...
- Nice to see you, Dad.
137
00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:57,060
- Señor.
- Let's just, uh, stick
138
00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:58,656
- with "Robert" for a little while.
- [Harriett chuckles]
139
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,076
- Right. Robert.
- [Harriett] Tom, I heard
140
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,070
you were the one who found
this incredible resort.
141
00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:04,030
- Yeah. I did.
- Yes.
142
00:07:04,230 --> 00:07:07,360
I actually study bioresonance,
and this place is
143
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:08,950
teeming with
energetic vibrations.
144
00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:10,950
- [Darcy] Mm.
- [Robert] It's just like
145
00:07:11,150 --> 00:07:12,910
- our room teeming with bugs.
- [both laugh]
146
00:07:13,110 --> 00:07:17,290
The, uh, Four Seasons would've been
nice, but you didn't want my help, so...
147
00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:18,556
Some things are more important
148
00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:19,580
- than money, Dad.
- Yeah.
149
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,230
That's debatable. [chuckles]
150
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,010
Well, I need another drink.
151
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,300
- Yeah.
- [speaks Spanish]
152
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,090
No, I'm good. Gracias.
153
00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:27,480
[Robert] Okay, well...
154
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,360
I'm fine.
155
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,850
[sighs] Is he ever
gonna like me?
156
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,120
Yes, if you just chill out and
start acting like yourself.
157
00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:39,120
[whispers] God, our
families are a lot.
158
00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:41,480
- What do you mean?
- And where have you been?
159
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,246
I was just finishing
up a little project.
160
00:07:43,270 --> 00:07:44,270
What'd I miss?
161
00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:46,610
Oh, well, your mom
gave me cursed knives.
162
00:07:46,810 --> 00:07:49,370
And then my mom almost yelled at
my dad's girlfriend for smiling.
163
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,570
- Oh.
- Oh, also,
164
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,490
your cousin, Amy, asked where
she could charge her vibrator.
165
00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,500
Oh, so, Cousin Amy came?
166
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:56,830
She will soon.
167
00:07:57,030 --> 00:07:59,040
- [laughs]
- Um, what are you wearing?
168
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,240
Oh, it's, uh...
169
00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:01,540
Why is your hair all wet?
170
00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:03,050
Oh, I... I just... I...
171
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,520
You know, I went for a
little moonlight swim.
172
00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:07,340
You fell in the
water, didn't you?
173
00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:09,190
Yeah, I fell in the
water. [laughing]
174
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:13,780
You know, it's kinda cute
how bad you are at lying.
175
00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:21,250
Just... Just promise me...
176
00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:25,210
Promise me, you won't let go of my
hand for the rest of the night, okay?
177
00:08:25,390 --> 00:08:26,400
I promise.
178
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,610
["Pony" by Ginuwine
plays on speakers]
179
00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:29,840
Ace.
180
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,120
Ace just put on the honeymoon
playlist. I need to change it.
181
00:08:33,190 --> 00:08:35,120
Well, is "need" the right word?
182
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:36,720
- Dad, please.
- [Larry] Oh, yeah.
183
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,310
[song stops playing]
184
00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:40,966
Tommy, Tommy, I need you
for, like, five minutes.
185
00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:42,216
- What? No, no, no, no.
- It's an emergency.
186
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,716
I've been working on my
best-man speech, right,
187
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,100
and it is going really well.
188
00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:47,520
- Hi.
- Hey.
189
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,440
- [imperceptible]
- [music plays on speakers]
190
00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:53,320
Dad's girlfriend just asked
me what my love language is.
191
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,450
She sucks.
192
00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:57,560
Happiest I've seen
you in 20 years.
193
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:58,760
- Thanks.
- Cheers.
194
00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:01,200
[helicopter approaching]
195
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,380
[upbeat hip-hop music playing]
196
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:10,840
[Jamie gasps]
197
00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:13,090
Dad invited your ex?
198
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:21,460
God! How does he just
keep getting hotter?
199
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:24,100
Looks like he's
leading a porn safari.
200
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,000
I didn't wanna invite him,
201
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,720
but Dad insisted because
he said Bali was so close.
202
00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:31,260
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. wow, wow.
203
00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:33,470
Dad is a messy bitch
who loves the drama.
204
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,860
[Darcy] Well, he never RSVP'd, so
we thought we were in the clear.
205
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:42,140
I didn't think he'd actually
come. You know, he never RSVP'd.
206
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:45,960
No, that's a very, very cool move.
I'm really excited to meet him.
207
00:09:46,870 --> 00:09:48,480
Oops, looks like
he was in a rush
208
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,456
and forgot to button his
shirt all the way up.
209
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:51,480
Deedee. [exhales sharply]
210
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,840
- Hey, man, how are you?
- Hey.
211
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,570
Hi, Sean! [laughs]
212
00:09:54,770 --> 00:09:57,660
[Sean grunts] I am so
sorry that I'm late.
213
00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:59,666
Your dad needed me to go to
Japan at the last minute,
214
00:09:59,690 --> 00:10:01,796
and then, you know, I had
to charter a jet from Kyoto,
215
00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:03,886
- just like a whole thing.
- No, it's okay. We just...
216
00:10:03,910 --> 00:10:05,386
You know, we didn't
know you were coming.
217
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:07,500
[Sean] Your dad and I
wanted to surprise you.
218
00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,636
Look, babe, you know I wasn't
gonna miss your wedding
219
00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:12,010
for anything in
this world, right?
220
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,880
- Sean, I want you to meet Tom.
- Tom.
221
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,640
- Oh, hey! [chuckles]
- Tom!
222
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,600
- Tom, Tom, Tom.
- Sean. Yeah.
223
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:18,896
- Nice to meet you.
- Hey, Tom.
224
00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,980
Man, I have been dying to meet
Deedee's ball player, man.
225
00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:23,270
What position you play?
226
00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:25,276
- I'm a... Well, I...
- He's a designated hitter.
227
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,696
[Robert] Uh, unfortunately, they
didn't pick up his contract,
228
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,540
so, technically, he's
unemployed, but...
229
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,860
Cut from the minors at 40.
230
00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:34,660
That's a tough break, Tom.
But if you stay positive,
231
00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:36,950
you could have a really
great future in coaching.
232
00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:38,150
You know what I mean?
233
00:10:39,590 --> 00:10:40,590
Yeah.
234
00:10:41,180 --> 00:10:42,580
That is an excellent idea.
235
00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:43,790
- I think so.
- Thank you.
236
00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:44,990
Yeah.
237
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,000
Is it time for dinner?
238
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,300
[applause]
239
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,420
We are so very touched that
you all made the trek out here.
240
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:57,590
You know, we really wanted to pick a
place that was convenient for none of you.
241
00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,260
[all laughing]
242
00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:01,026
You know what, I talk
too much at the law firm.
243
00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:04,940
So I am going to hand it
over to the man of the hour,
244
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:07,410
the guy who made this
whole weekend happen,
245
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,570
my lovely Tom.
246
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,330
[cheering and applauding]
247
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,300
Thank you.
248
00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:17,240
- [man] Do it!
- [woman 1] You go, girl!
249
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:18,440
[Tom] Uh...
250
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,240
- [woman 2] Yeah!
- [whispers] You got this.
251
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,930
- Right?
- [laughter]
252
00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:23,126
I can just wing this, right?
253
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:26,790
Darcy talked a lot about, uh, her
time in the Peace Corps in Bali,
254
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,420
and I thought, you know,
255
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,216
how cool would it be if
we got married there.
256
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:34,260
And then, I realized that Bali
was un-Bali-vably expensive.
257
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,510
[scattered laughter]
258
00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,300
I think the
Philippines are better.
259
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,690
- [guests clap]
- Right, Ace?
260
00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:42,360
Ace agrees. Next.
261
00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,180
- [woman] Aw!
- [guests exclaim]
262
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:47,500
I know a lot of you were
there to witness my proposal.
263
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,830
The shock and
surprise. Priceless.
264
00:11:50,370 --> 00:11:52,900
Anyway, Mom and Dad, I
just wanna say thank you.
265
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:55,570
Your commitment is something
that we can only aspire to.
266
00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:57,840
- Oh, my God.
- [Tom] Robert, Renata,
267
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,760
we hope our marriage is
nothing like yours. [laughing]
268
00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:05,580
Pivot, baby. [whispers] Pivot.
269
00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:09,040
I mean, that's not a... a
character judgment, by any means.
270
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,840
I mean, 50% of marriages
end in divorce, right?
271
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,380
- [mic feedback]
- Ha! Wonderful.
272
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:14,840
[chuckling] Cheers, everybody.
273
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,400
- Cheers, cheers, cheers.
- Cheers.
274
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,550
[Tom clears throat]
275
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:18,930
[jazz music playing]
276
00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:20,450
Oh, my God. That
did not go well.
277
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,100
No, that was awesome.
278
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,100
- [glass clinking]
- [music stops]
279
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,770
So Deedee and I met in
the Peace Corps in Bali.
280
00:12:27,970 --> 00:12:31,580
And one day, we had to run these
medical supplies to this village.
281
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,320
I decided to teach her
how to drive the boat,
282
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,326
so I could sleep and she
could do all the work.
283
00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:37,690
[all laughing]
284
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:38,890
[Tom chuckles dryly]
285
00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:41,320
The first time our girl
gets behind the wheel,
286
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,370
she gets a damn speeding
ticket from the coast guard.
287
00:12:44,570 --> 00:12:45,620
[all laughing]
288
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:48,210
Right? Deedee doesn't
do anything half-assed.
289
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,060
She sees what she wants,
290
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:53,420
she goes after it, and she
doesn't settle for less.
291
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:54,676
[Tom] It's true, it's true.
292
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,100
[Sean] So, as some
of you may know,
293
00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:59,480
Deedee and I were, 100
years ago, were engaged.
294
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,720
But she called it off.
295
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,550
[guests exclaim sadly]
296
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,510
No. No, no, no, no.
297
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:07,160
She was waiting for Tom.
298
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,730
And that guy right there has gotta
be a one-in-a-million supernova
299
00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:14,570
to snag that beautiful soul.
300
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,070
- Thanks.
- [all applauding]
301
00:13:16,270 --> 00:13:18,860
- Thanks, Sean.
- So, in conclusion,
302
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,920
I just wanna say one
thing to you, Deedee.
303
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,240
Katuk kak ci.
304
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,970
[laughing]
305
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:27,720
[all applauding and cheering]
306
00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:30,620
What's... Katuk kak what?
307
00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,710
Oh, God. Um, it's
hard to explain.
308
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:35,040
It actually means, um,
309
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,670
"Fuck your grandpa."
[chuckles] It's just...
310
00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:39,390
Well, that's not
that hard to explain.
311
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:42,130
Yeah, well, I don't know. Just,
in Balinese, it's super offensive.
312
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:44,510
Yeah, well, it's
offensive everywhere, no?
313
00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:47,430
- Yeah. I mean... It just...
- "Fuck your grandpa!"
314
00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:49,520
- It just made us laugh.
- It is funny.
315
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,850
- [glass clinks]
- [woman] Hi, everybody.
316
00:13:52,050 --> 00:13:53,980
I'm Tom's baby sister, Jeannie.
317
00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:55,900
- Yeah, Jeannie!
- Hey, Jeannie!
318
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,440
Wow, Sean's speech,
wasn't it somethin'?
319
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,750
[cheering and applauding]
320
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,090
[spray can hissing]
321
00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:07,590
[Darcy] Honey?
322
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:13,720
Maybe we should just, you
know, call it a night.
323
00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:15,380
[Tom] No, babe, you go ahead.
324
00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:18,670
I gotta finish these centerpieces
and rearrange the seating chart
325
00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:20,940
now that Sean
decided to show up.
326
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,150
- [grunts]
- Tom!
327
00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,200
Tom!
328
00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:31,160
[whispers] Let's have sex.
329
00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:36,610
Yes. Yes.
330
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,770
Just... Just... Just...
Just gimme... Just...
331
00:14:38,970 --> 00:14:40,930
I just have to finish these
pineapples real quick.
332
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:44,550
Okay. Um...
333
00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:52,180
But do you really have to
finish pineapples right now?
334
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,670
Oh, my God. I love you in
a T-shirt and no pants.
335
00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:00,870
[inhales sharply]
336
00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:03,170
I'm just gonna reach over here,
337
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,550
this high shelf, so I can
get something to read.
338
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:10,160
Why is it so sexy when you
can't reach high shelves?
339
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,270
- So, um...
- [grunting softly]
340
00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:16,870
I'm sorry, miss, but it was...
341
00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:19,020
- It's this one here?
- No, no, no.
342
00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:20,070
It's the one over there.
343
00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:21,480
- Sir, please.
- Oh, this one.
344
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:22,790
- This one.
- Yes.
345
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,200
- That?
- Thank you, sir.
346
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,340
Okay. Glad I could help.
347
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,640
[Darcy giggling]
348
00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,190
I miss you.
349
00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:46,690
It's been a while, huh?
350
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:48,650
I know.
351
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:50,860
I miss you.
352
00:15:57,580 --> 00:15:58,830
[Tom moans]
353
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,790
Could I ask you a question?
354
00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,880
Is it a sexy question?
355
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,340
Um...
356
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,380
Just wondering why you called off
the engagement with Sean again.
357
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,180
That is so not sexy. [chuckles]
358
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,680
I... I told you this.
359
00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:18,620
We were young, we were in Bali,
360
00:16:18,820 --> 00:16:21,270
and then one day, I woke up
and it just didn't feel right.
361
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,060
- Okay?
- Okay.
362
00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:28,610
[Tom moaning]
363
00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:31,190
But you said yes.
364
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,010
You know, what
changed your mind?
365
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,720
[Darcy sighs]
366
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,580
[chuckling] I don't know.
367
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,020
Uh, he... he started
working with my dad,
368
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:45,610
he changed, and all he cared
about was status and money.
369
00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:47,930
[chuckles] Anyway, why do
you want to talk about my ex
370
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:49,630
the night before our wedding?
371
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,820
I don't know. Maybe because
you invited him to our wedding?
372
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:54,410
Remember, I didn't.
373
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:57,540
My dad asked me to invite him.
What was I supposed to say?
374
00:16:57,740 --> 00:16:58,960
I don't know. Uh, no?
375
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,380
If you remember correctly, I
didn't wanna invite anyone.
376
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:03,880
- I wanted to elope.
- [sighs]
377
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,840
The only reason I agreed
to a traditional wedding
378
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,840
was because you said that
we'd have moments alone.
379
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,040
[knock on door]
380
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,190
Hey, hello. It's Carol.
381
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,740
Hi. Hello.
382
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,060
Your future
mother-in-law, Carol.
383
00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:21,270
[chuckles] Yep, I
know your name, Carol.
384
00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:24,400
I brought some of the
extras for the welcome bags
385
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,780
in case you want to
make one for Sean.
386
00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:28,330
[Tom] Oh! Oh.
387
00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:29,880
Great. Thanks.
388
00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:31,780
All right, thanks.
389
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:34,510
Tommy, she's not
wearing any pants.
390
00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:37,120
- [gifts clatter]
- I just want to ask,
391
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,040
and... and I hope it's okay.
392
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,640
Is that genetics,
393
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,210
or is it, like,
Pilates or something?
394
00:17:44,410 --> 00:17:45,556
Mom, now is not
the time for this.
395
00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:48,056
[Carol] Yes, all right. But, you
know, we need to get you outta here.
396
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,936
It's the night before your wedding,
and you can't spend the night together.
397
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,920
- No, Ma, it's just...
- You can't. It's bad luck.
398
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,800
You know, his cousin, Jenna, she
spent the night with her husband.
399
00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,030
Lo and behold, she got Lyme disease,
and now she can't wear sandals.
400
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,700
It's a tradition.
401
00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:07,920
[snoring softly]
402
00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:18,220
[upbeat music playing]
403
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:33,940
[indistinct chatter
and laughter]
404
00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:48,690
[bird squawking]
405
00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:51,040
[suspenseful music playing]
406
00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:08,940
[pirate leader] Oh. Look
at the happy couple.
407
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,310
[man laughs wickedly]
408
00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:15,650
Where have you been?
409
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,900
You were supposed to do my hair.
410
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,220
Now birds are gonna
lay eggs in it.
411
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,180
I know. I overslept. I'm sorry.
412
00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:23,520
[chuckles dryly]
413
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,580
Kind of, sort of, slept
with Ricky last night.
414
00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:28,230
- Ricky?
- Yes. I'm sorry.
415
00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:30,946
I just, I was in the mood for something,
you know, that wasn't quite right.
416
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:33,090
Like ordering a hamburger
at a sushi bar or something.
417
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,246
I'm just gonna avoid
him today. It's fine.
418
00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:36,610
He's Tom's best man.
419
00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:38,590
You two have to walk
down the aisle together.
420
00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:41,990
I am very good at ignoring
people that I'm standing next to.
421
00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:43,540
- No kidding.
- Ready?
422
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:45,980
I can't believe you agreed to
wear Carol's wedding dress.
423
00:19:46,430 --> 00:19:47,520
- [splutters]
- Okay.
424
00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:50,420
- [Jamie blowing]
- Okay, okay.
425
00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:52,560
You look beautiful,
no matter what.
426
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,560
She's ready!
427
00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:56,766
[Jeannie] Hey, should we all do
428
00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:58,016
- a round of tequila shots?
- [sighs]
429
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,430
[Carol] Well, I Scotchgarded the dress,
so try not to inhale the chemicals.
430
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,350
[Jamie] Where's the
veil? Where's the veil?
431
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:04,680
[huffs] Okay.
432
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:05,980
[Jamie] Well, yes, tequila.
433
00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:07,696
[Jeannie] Unless we get
the bottle, I'm not set.
434
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:08,770
[Jamie] No, no tequila.
435
00:20:08,970 --> 00:20:10,110
Oh!
436
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,610
The prettiest of them all.
437
00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:15,130
You look so much better
than the rest of us.
438
00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:17,900
This dress is just wonderful.
439
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:19,490
I wore it for my wedding,
440
00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:23,740
Jeannie wore it for hers, and now
you're gonna wear it for yours.
441
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:25,180
Oh, my gosh.
442
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,220
Look at you.
443
00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:30,960
Oh, it's white coral
made out of tissue.
444
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,160
Um...
445
00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:36,260
Something doesn't,
you know, feel right.
446
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,016
[Carol] Do you think if
we blew-dried the veil,
447
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,476
- it would be more fluffy?
- Okay, so what I'm seeing is,
448
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,646
I think that the left boob
is actually slightly lower
449
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:42,146
- than the right boob.
- Like floof, floof, like that?
450
00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:45,560
Hey, something kinda magical
happened with me last night.
451
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,406
- Theoretically speaking...
- [cell phone chiming]
452
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:49,440
would it be weird or wonderful
453
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,520
- if we married sisters?
- [cell phone vibrates]
454
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:52,790
Yeah, sure.
455
00:20:57,210 --> 00:20:58,990
[Ricky] Hey, psst, Larry.
Tom's being boring.
456
00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:00,570
Come film me doing a backflip!
457
00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:02,376
[Larry] Oh, I... I don't
think I should walk.
458
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,400
[Ricky] All right.
459
00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:06,720
[guests chattering]
460
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,900
[suspenseful music playing]
461
00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:28,570
It's time.
462
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:42,880
Wow!
463
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,470
[sighs] Look at you.
464
00:21:46,090 --> 00:21:48,050
[soft music playing]
465
00:21:53,810 --> 00:21:54,980
Okay.
466
00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,190
You wanted to talk.
467
00:21:58,270 --> 00:22:00,570
I know it's last minute.
468
00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:03,030
I just...
469
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,700
I hated the way things
ended last night, and...
470
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,410
And I didn't want our wedding
day to start off on a bad note.
471
00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:15,120
Oh, my God.
472
00:22:16,620 --> 00:22:17,770
[sighs in relief]
473
00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:19,690
God, I thought you
were calling it off.
474
00:22:19,890 --> 00:22:21,280
[Tom chuckling]
475
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,280
Calling off the
wedding? [scoffs]
476
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:24,530
- Why?
- Uh, I don't know.
477
00:22:24,730 --> 00:22:27,580
I mean, this weekend hasn't
exactly gone to plan.
478
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:30,450
You and I have been arguing more
in the last few months than we did
479
00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:32,120
our first four years together.
480
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,200
[inhales deeply] I don't
know. I guess I thought
481
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,850
weddings were
supposed to be fun.
482
00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:38,460
Oh. Okay.
483
00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:41,260
Well, I'm sorry I didn't make
your wedding more fun for you.
484
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:43,480
Well, no. That's...
Darcy, that's not what...
485
00:22:45,570 --> 00:22:47,400
And it's not my wedding.
It's our wedding.
486
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:49,360
Hardly.
487
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,410
[sighs] Yeah, Tom.
488
00:22:51,990 --> 00:22:54,770
You got so fixated on
the wedding that you...
489
00:22:54,970 --> 00:22:56,480
you turned into a
different person.
490
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,640
I'm sorry. I just wanted
everything to be perfect.
491
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,900
Why is that so important to you?
492
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,530
Why isn't it important to you?
493
00:23:02,730 --> 00:23:04,566
It's like you don't even
care about the wedding.
494
00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:06,490
Well, I... Of course I care.
495
00:23:06,690 --> 00:23:07,700
Oh, yeah?
496
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,181
You're the one that insisted
that we pay for this wedding.
497
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,876
Yet I'm the one
that's bargaining
498
00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:13,910
with all the vendors
and DIY-ing everything,
499
00:23:14,110 --> 00:23:16,620
and all you're saying is, "I
don't know. It looks good,"
500
00:23:16,820 --> 00:23:18,700
you know, "Sounds good,
Tom. Whatever you want."
501
00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:22,210
I told you that I did not want
a big traditional wedding.
502
00:23:22,410 --> 00:23:25,630
Okay? I'm not some blushing
bride. I'm a grown woman.
503
00:23:25,830 --> 00:23:27,970
I don't want my daddy
walking me down the aisle.
504
00:23:28,170 --> 00:23:30,060
I don't need a big
princess dress,
505
00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:33,310
and I certainly don't
need a wedding registry.
506
00:23:33,510 --> 00:23:36,020
I have my things already.
I like my things.
507
00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:37,730
I wanted a Roomba.
508
00:23:37,930 --> 00:23:39,830
[guests murmuring]
509
00:23:41,540 --> 00:23:42,820
Well, she's not up in the lobby.
510
00:23:42,980 --> 00:23:44,260
I can't get through on my phone.
511
00:23:44,350 --> 00:23:46,650
Oh, my God. They've
fallen in a ditch.
512
00:23:46,850 --> 00:23:48,870
What? And how do you know that?
513
00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:50,060
[Carol] I don't know.
514
00:23:50,150 --> 00:23:52,290
I just have a sixth
sense about these things.
515
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,796
Ace and I will
take a look around.
516
00:23:53,820 --> 00:23:55,580
Don't worry. We will find them.
517
00:23:55,780 --> 00:23:57,000
[Carol breathing heavily]
518
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,140
- [screams] Check all ditches!
- [Larry] God.
519
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:05,170
I wanted it to just be you and
me in the middle of the ocean.
520
00:24:05,370 --> 00:24:07,760
And for the 400th time, that
would've killed my mother.
521
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,470
Ugh. Right.
522
00:24:09,670 --> 00:24:11,310
And that's why I'm in
your mother's dress
523
00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:13,870
with an extra 10 pounds
of hair on my head.
524
00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:18,870
But the truth is, you have not listened
to one thing I wanted since you proposed.
525
00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:22,520
Okay, well, Darcy, I'm
listening. Enlighten me.
526
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,080
What is it? What is
it that you want?
527
00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:28,820
Tom, we've... We
talked about this.
528
00:24:29,020 --> 00:24:33,280
I told you on our very first
date, I didn't want a big wedding.
529
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:34,560
Well, I thought you changed
530
00:24:34,610 --> 00:24:36,010
- your mind about that.
- [sighs]
531
00:24:36,510 --> 00:24:38,350
Why did you even
agree to do it then?
532
00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:42,840
Oh, I... I don't...
I don't know!
533
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,600
Okay? Because...
534
00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:48,380
Because I love you.
Because I... I w...
535
00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:50,570
I wanted you to be happy.
536
00:24:51,030 --> 00:24:52,720
[pirate leader]
Go! Come on, move!
537
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,890
Everybody, move! Come on!
538
00:24:55,090 --> 00:24:56,520
- [people screaming]
- Move along.
539
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,200
Go outside, go outside
right now. Come on. Come on.
540
00:25:00,410 --> 00:25:02,040
If you don't wanna
go through with this,
541
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,210
it's not too late.
542
00:25:04,830 --> 00:25:05,830
What?
543
00:25:08,420 --> 00:25:14,280
No. We brought everybody that we loved
down to the Philippines for our wedding.
544
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,370
I'm in this dress!
We're doin' this!
545
00:25:16,570 --> 00:25:18,510
Oh, that was beautiful.
Are those your vows?
546
00:25:21,430 --> 00:25:22,480
Oh, my God.
547
00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:26,290
You convinced yourself that I
wanted to call off the wedding,
548
00:25:26,450 --> 00:25:27,730
and now you're making it happen.
549
00:25:27,790 --> 00:25:30,470
Oh, there you go. Lawyering yourself
out of any real responsibility.
550
00:25:30,540 --> 00:25:31,540
[Darcy gasps]
551
00:25:31,670 --> 00:25:33,400
[intense music playing]
552
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,490
[groans] You cut
me with your ring!
553
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,370
- Won't happen again.
- [grunts]
554
00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:49,650
[intense music resumes]
555
00:25:49,850 --> 00:25:50,920
Great!
556
00:25:51,670 --> 00:25:53,310
[shouting] Why don't
you go be with Sean?
557
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,160
Maybe you guys could
go bang some grandpas!
558
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,760
[intense music continues]
559
00:26:05,770 --> 00:26:08,300
I don't know why. I have
a bad feeling about this.
560
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,880
[Larry] It's gonna
be fine, honey.
561
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,090
- [screams]
- [all gasp]
562
00:26:11,290 --> 00:26:12,760
I think you might
be overreacting.
563
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:14,300
[screams]
564
00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:16,220
- [guests screaming]
- [indistinct shouting]
565
00:26:16,380 --> 00:26:19,350
[pirate leader] Hold still!
Get down, get down, get down!
566
00:26:19,550 --> 00:26:20,570
[all screaming]
567
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,540
[whimpers]
568
00:26:25,290 --> 00:26:26,616
- [pirate 1] No running!
- [gunshot]
569
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,600
- [pirate leader] Everyone!
- [pirate 1] Get down.
570
00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:31,690
[pirate leader]
To the pool! Now!
571
00:26:31,890 --> 00:26:33,070
First rows, go!
572
00:26:33,270 --> 00:26:34,510
- Go, go, go!
- [Carol exclaims]
573
00:26:34,690 --> 00:26:36,700
[pirate 1] Everyone,
this way! This way!
574
00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:39,640
Come on! Come on!
One line! Let's go!
575
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,890
- [gunshots]
- [indistinct shouting]
576
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,520
[grunts]
577
00:26:52,980 --> 00:26:54,340
[frightened clamoring]
578
00:26:54,540 --> 00:26:55,780
Let's go!
579
00:26:57,650 --> 00:26:58,950
Darcy.
580
00:27:01,740 --> 00:27:03,986
- [pirate leader] Guys, go!
- [pirate 1] Go, go, up there.
581
00:27:04,010 --> 00:27:06,230
[pirate leader] Up there!
Up there! Go! Go to the end.
582
00:27:06,430 --> 00:27:07,980
- Go, go!
- Everybody, walk!
583
00:27:08,180 --> 00:27:10,360
- [pirate leader] Keep going.
- [pirate 1] Let's go.
584
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:11,610
[pirate leader] Go!
585
00:27:11,810 --> 00:27:12,900
[guests screaming]
586
00:27:13,100 --> 00:27:14,626
[pirate leader] Keep
moving! There you go.
587
00:27:14,650 --> 00:27:16,030
[pirate 2] Turn. Turn. Go!
588
00:27:16,230 --> 00:27:17,496
- [pirate leader] Line up.
- [pirate 2] Keep moving.
589
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,530
Line up, go!
590
00:27:18,730 --> 00:27:19,876
- [pirate leader] Now!
- [Carol] No.
591
00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:21,830
[pirate leader]
And into the pool.
592
00:27:22,030 --> 00:27:23,290
Now. Go!
593
00:27:23,490 --> 00:27:26,370
Go in. Faster, faster, faster.
594
00:27:26,570 --> 00:27:28,676
- [pirate 2] Get in the water.
- [pirate leader] Let's go faster.
595
00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:31,250
- [pirate 2] Drop the phone.
- But my phone will get ruined.
596
00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:32,766
I think that's the point,
sweetie. Just drop it.
597
00:27:32,790 --> 00:27:33,976
Yeah, but I haven't
backed it up in a while.
598
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,520
- [Renata] Drop it!
- Okay. Okay.
599
00:27:36,730 --> 00:27:38,430
[pirate leader] No
need to be scared.
600
00:27:38,630 --> 00:27:41,990
As long as everybody follows
directions, no one gets hurt.
601
00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:44,990
Raise your hand when
you hear your name.
602
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,450
Robert Rivera.
603
00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:56,340
Robert! Robert.
604
00:27:57,130 --> 00:27:58,420
They're calling you.
605
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,260
Thanks a lot, Carol.
606
00:28:05,140 --> 00:28:07,310
- [pirate leader] Larry Fowler.
- Present.
607
00:28:10,350 --> 00:28:11,880
I... I'm Carol, his wife.
608
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,720
Just so you don't have
to make two trips.
609
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,690
Wait, wait. I'd like
it in the center.
610
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,450
Sean Hawkins.
611
00:28:22,030 --> 00:28:25,410
If you hurt anyone in this pool,
you're gonna have to answer to me.
612
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,980
[pirate leader] Is this
the hero of the group?
613
00:28:29,180 --> 00:28:30,700
[all] Yes.
614
00:28:31,410 --> 00:28:33,070
No. Oh, my God.
615
00:28:33,270 --> 00:28:34,500
[women whimper]
616
00:28:35,250 --> 00:28:36,960
There is always one.
617
00:28:38,630 --> 00:28:39,630
All right.
618
00:28:50,810 --> 00:28:52,560
[pirate leader] Where
is bride and groom?
619
00:28:53,140 --> 00:28:55,510
[pirate 1] She's there.
Isn't she the bride?
620
00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:56,700
Oh. No.
621
00:28:56,790 --> 00:29:00,970
Amanda thought it was appropriate
to wear white to a wedding.
622
00:29:01,170 --> 00:29:02,390
I didn't know that was a rule.
623
00:29:02,590 --> 00:29:03,810
Yes, you did.
624
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,810
- You're a gaslighter.
- [Jeannie] Yeah.
625
00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:07,530
You see, this is a problem.
626
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,370
They could call police.
And if police come,
627
00:29:11,330 --> 00:29:12,480
we kill everyone.
628
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,236
- [guests gasping]
- [woman] Oh, my God.
629
00:29:14,260 --> 00:29:17,260
Okay, um, I... I saw Tom headed towards
the nature walk before the ceremony,
630
00:29:17,430 --> 00:29:20,490
and I noticed that his frequency
levels were dangerously low.
631
00:29:20,690 --> 00:29:22,160
I think he's getting cold feet.
632
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:23,530
Tommy has cold feet?
633
00:29:23,730 --> 00:29:26,170
Is this really what we should
be worrying about at this point?
634
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,510
I'm a mother. I can worry about
a lot of things at the same time.
635
00:29:30,260 --> 00:29:31,460
Like Larry's mole.
636
00:29:31,660 --> 00:29:32,900
[Larry] Oh, it's fine, sweetie.
637
00:29:32,950 --> 00:29:34,556
- [Carol] It's getting bigger.
- [pirate leader] Spread out.
638
00:29:34,580 --> 00:29:36,480
- [guns cocking]
- Look for them.
639
00:29:42,110 --> 00:29:44,640
Hey, uh, I... I... I
texted you this morning
640
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,450
and I didn't hear anything back.
641
00:29:47,870 --> 00:29:49,410
Are you being serious right now?
642
00:29:49,950 --> 00:29:51,560
No. No.
643
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,310
[panting]
644
00:29:53,510 --> 00:29:54,520
[Darcy screams]
645
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,980
[gasps] Darcy!
646
00:29:57,180 --> 00:30:00,090
- [Darcy grunting]
- [Tom] Darcy! Hey!
647
00:30:01,630 --> 00:30:03,450
- [groans]
- No, no, no, no. Darcy.
648
00:30:03,650 --> 00:30:05,990
- Darcy, I'm coming in.
- Fuck off, Tom!
649
00:30:06,190 --> 00:30:07,260
Oh, thank God.
650
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,850
Listen, I know you're mad at me
right now, but you have to let me in.
651
00:30:11,180 --> 00:30:13,170
Why would I be mad? I'm awesome.
652
00:30:13,370 --> 00:30:15,450
I'm on a tropical island,
I'm having a liquid brunch,
653
00:30:15,620 --> 00:30:17,690
and I don't have to
answer to anybody!
654
00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,050
[indistinct radio chatter]
655
00:30:20,250 --> 00:30:23,110
[gasps] Oh, my God,
this is not happening.
656
00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:25,470
Oh, it is happening, buddy.
657
00:30:25,670 --> 00:30:29,140
Okay? And once I get this
hair condo off my head,
658
00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:32,560
I'm gonna march down to that beach and
tell everybody how you blew this up!
659
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:33,770
Shh... shh!
660
00:30:33,970 --> 00:30:36,080
Are you seriously
shushing me right now?
661
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,290
What the fuck?
662
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:39,670
[Tom grunts]
663
00:30:42,670 --> 00:30:43,670
Is that blood?
664
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:45,990
There's no time for a
blood freak-out right now.
665
00:30:46,190 --> 00:30:47,990
- Don't tell me...
- [shushes]
666
00:30:48,190 --> 00:30:50,790
- [muffled groaning]
- There are pirates outside,
667
00:30:50,990 --> 00:30:52,540
and they took everybody hostage.
668
00:30:52,740 --> 00:30:53,740
[muffled] What?
669
00:30:55,140 --> 00:30:56,560
[indistinct radio chatter]
670
00:31:06,110 --> 00:31:07,610
- [gunshots]
- [gasps]
671
00:31:08,780 --> 00:31:09,780
[grunts]
672
00:31:10,490 --> 00:31:13,450
- We have to get help.
- [Tom] No, no. No. No.
673
00:31:14,830 --> 00:31:16,900
- The phone is dead.
- Oh, the Wi-Fi too.
674
00:31:17,100 --> 00:31:19,300
Marge said the cell service
is better on the north side.
675
00:31:19,350 --> 00:31:21,230
Why did you pick an island
with no cell service?
676
00:31:21,270 --> 00:31:23,116
Because I wanted people to
be present and in the moment.
677
00:31:23,140 --> 00:31:24,880
- [gunshot]
- [gasps] Jeez!
678
00:31:25,630 --> 00:31:28,370
I can't breathe.
[gasps] I can't breathe!
679
00:31:28,570 --> 00:31:29,330
I know. Me neither.
680
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,200
No. I... I really can't
breathe. It's the shapewear.
681
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,040
Please help me get
out of this dress now.
682
00:31:35,180 --> 00:31:36,290
Now!
683
00:31:36,490 --> 00:31:37,500
Would you relax?
684
00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,216
[whispers] What did
you just say to me?
685
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,556
I said everything's
gonna be okay.
686
00:31:40,580 --> 00:31:41,880
Dress is like a riddle.
687
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:43,420
- [gunshots]
- Oh!
688
00:31:43,620 --> 00:31:45,570
God, I'm gonna
die in this dress!
689
00:31:46,980 --> 00:31:48,930
Oh, door latches
from the inside.
690
00:31:49,130 --> 00:31:51,060
He's gonna know we're
in here. [grunting]
691
00:31:51,250 --> 00:31:54,890
He's also gonna know we're in here when
he comes in here and we're in here.
692
00:31:55,090 --> 00:31:56,370
He'll think we're in the shower.
693
00:31:56,510 --> 00:31:57,900
What... What?
694
00:31:58,100 --> 00:32:00,440
And come back at a better
time? Leave a note?
695
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,320
- [shower running]
- All right.
696
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,996
Okay, h... here's the plan. He comes in,
he's gonna think we're in the shower,
697
00:32:05,020 --> 00:32:06,700
then I jump out and I
trap him in the net.
698
00:32:06,730 --> 00:32:08,130
Oh, my God, that's
an amazing plan.
699
00:32:08,230 --> 00:32:09,230
- Yes!
- No!
700
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,666
You're gonna throw
a net over a pirate?
701
00:32:10,690 --> 00:32:11,916
Have you ever tried
to get out of a net?
702
00:32:11,940 --> 00:32:13,256
It's very hard to
get out of a net.
703
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:14,790
Okay. How about...
704
00:32:14,990 --> 00:32:16,910
How about this? I
spray him in the eyes.
705
00:32:17,110 --> 00:32:19,670
How is hairspray in the eyes
better than a net over his head?
706
00:32:19,870 --> 00:32:21,880
Wait! Yes, that's actually...
707
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,050
That's actually...
You spray that.
708
00:32:24,250 --> 00:32:26,186
I'll light the match. It'll
be like a flamethrower.
709
00:32:26,210 --> 00:32:27,410
- I mean, it won't work!
- Why?
710
00:32:27,540 --> 00:32:28,970
- Too many steps.
- It's two steps.
711
00:32:29,170 --> 00:32:31,720
It's two steps.
Flamethrower, net.
712
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:35,020
I pop out and I put the net over
his head. I'll surprise him.
713
00:32:35,220 --> 00:32:37,230
No, Tom, because bullets
shoot through nets!
714
00:32:37,430 --> 00:32:38,980
- Technically, yeah.
- Technically?
715
00:32:39,180 --> 00:32:40,696
Technically, he won't be
able to shoot straight
716
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,900
because he'll be all fuckin'
wrapped up in the net.
717
00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:45,400
I swear to God, if you
say "net" one more time...
718
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:46,880
- [gunshots]
- [gasps]
719
00:32:48,420 --> 00:32:50,510
Oh, my God. Oh, my
God. Oh, my God.
720
00:32:52,300 --> 00:32:53,380
[gunshot]
721
00:32:57,810 --> 00:32:59,720
[whispering] Psst. Flamethrower.
722
00:33:03,850 --> 00:33:05,690
[suspenseful music playing]
723
00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:10,650
[shower running]
724
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,060
[whispering] I'm
gonna fuck him up.
725
00:33:17,260 --> 00:33:18,270
I'm gonna fuck him up.
726
00:33:18,470 --> 00:33:19,910
[mouthing]
727
00:33:35,970 --> 00:33:37,120
[turns off shower]
728
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:38,760
[screaming]
729
00:33:39,930 --> 00:33:42,020
[all screaming]
730
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:45,840
[Darcy] Fuck!
731
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:47,270
[pirate 2 panting]
732
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:49,550
- [grunts]
- [pirate 2] Ow!
733
00:33:49,750 --> 00:33:51,476
- Never mind! Never mind.
- Why did you do that?
734
00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:54,110
- Never mind!
- [both scream and grunt]
735
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,480
- [groaning] You were right.
- [panting]
736
00:33:59,670 --> 00:34:01,620
That hairspray was so
much worse than the net.
737
00:34:02,790 --> 00:34:03,790
[Tom grunts]
738
00:34:05,660 --> 00:34:06,980
- [Darcy] Ow!
- [pirate 2] Get up.
739
00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:08,100
[Darcy] Okay.
740
00:34:08,750 --> 00:34:10,460
[both grunt]
741
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:13,166
- [Tom] Come on.
- [Darcy] Don't strangle me.
742
00:34:13,190 --> 00:34:15,310
- [Tom] Turn your arm.
- [pirate 2] I have them alive.
743
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,410
Wait, wait. What?
744
00:34:16,610 --> 00:34:19,180
[pirate 2 on radio]
Bungalow 15. Pick me up.
745
00:34:20,510 --> 00:34:21,810
[pirate leader] Go collect them.
746
00:34:22,850 --> 00:34:25,020
And then we can begin.
747
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,310
[both grunting]
748
00:34:33,690 --> 00:34:34,990
You doing okay, Jamie?
749
00:34:37,240 --> 00:34:39,480
My stomach feels like it's
gonna fall through my asshole.
750
00:34:39,630 --> 00:34:41,370
But otherwise, I'm chill.
751
00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:44,020
Listen, it's normal
to feel scared.
752
00:34:44,220 --> 00:34:45,940
But I'm not gonna let
anything happen to you
753
00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:48,920
or your family. Promise.
754
00:34:50,420 --> 00:34:51,710
[Jeannie] Hey, Sean?
755
00:34:52,250 --> 00:34:53,700
I am also feeling scared.
756
00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:55,876
Like the most scared I've
ever been in my whole life.
757
00:34:55,900 --> 00:34:58,090
It's like I just watched
The Ring, you know?
758
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,006
[Harriett] Robbie, baby, I want you
to practice the breathing exercise
759
00:35:02,030 --> 00:35:04,000
that we learned at Esalen, okay?
760
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,850
I'm gonna hit a pressure
point. Ready? And...
761
00:35:07,350 --> 00:35:08,350
[joints pop]
762
00:35:08,490 --> 00:35:10,400
- Breathe. Breathe.
- [breathing sharply]
763
00:35:11,230 --> 00:35:12,230
From the diaphragm.
764
00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,516
- I think I'm gonna throw up now.
- It's okay. You're doing fine.
765
00:35:14,540 --> 00:35:18,220
If he keeps making that noise,
just go ahead and shoot me.
766
00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:19,640
- [Robert pants]
- [laughing]
767
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,121
[pirate leader] The happy
couple will be here in a second.
768
00:35:22,780 --> 00:35:24,310
So let's get to business.
769
00:35:24,510 --> 00:35:26,370
Where is the father
of the bride?
770
00:35:29,710 --> 00:35:32,330
Robert. He's calling ya again.
771
00:35:34,420 --> 00:35:37,260
Thanks, Carol. [grunts]
772
00:35:37,670 --> 00:35:38,840
Okay, what do you want?
773
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:44,210
[pirate leader] Well, we call my
colleague on the satellite phone,
774
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,420
and you transfer $45
million to a bank account.
775
00:35:47,620 --> 00:35:49,000
[Harriett] What? What?
776
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:50,640
I don't have that kind of money.
777
00:35:51,060 --> 00:35:55,340
[pirate leader] We googled
you. Net worth is $60 million.
778
00:35:55,540 --> 00:35:58,490
I'm not giving you anything until
I find out if my daughter's safe.
779
00:35:59,530 --> 00:36:01,740
- And your son-in-law.
- Yeah, him too.
780
00:36:02,450 --> 00:36:03,470
Okay.
781
00:36:03,670 --> 00:36:06,240
I can wait two minutes
to take all your money.
782
00:36:06,990 --> 00:36:08,000
This way.
783
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:11,980
You want some pineapple candies?
784
00:36:12,180 --> 00:36:15,440
They're from that weird welcome bag
we got, but I found them in my pocket.
785
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:19,090
No, I don't want loose, wet
candy from your gross pockets.
786
00:36:21,630 --> 00:36:22,760
Okay.
787
00:36:23,550 --> 00:36:24,800
Suit yourself.
788
00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:32,210
Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.
789
00:36:32,410 --> 00:36:33,410
- I'm starving.
- No.
790
00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:34,650
[Jamie gasps]
791
00:36:36,690 --> 00:36:38,050
- You're an asshole.
- Hmm.
792
00:36:38,250 --> 00:36:40,090
God, I can't believe
that I had sex with you.
793
00:36:40,290 --> 00:36:42,450
Honestly, I was pretty
surprised by that too.
794
00:36:42,740 --> 00:36:45,196
[Darcy] My parents, they got
divorced when I was in high school,
795
00:36:45,220 --> 00:36:47,870
and my first engagement
was a disaster.
796
00:36:48,450 --> 00:36:50,770
What about you? Are
you dating anyone?
797
00:36:50,970 --> 00:36:52,366
Have you always
wanted to be a pirate?
798
00:36:52,390 --> 00:36:54,370
No more talk, lady.
799
00:37:00,210 --> 00:37:01,740
Excuse me, sirs.
800
00:37:01,940 --> 00:37:03,140
Darcy, they're gonna hurt you.
801
00:37:03,270 --> 00:37:05,830
I just can't help but notice that
you guys smell like cigarettes,
802
00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:08,290
and I am loving it.
803
00:37:08,490 --> 00:37:10,790
Is there any way I
could bum a cigarette?
804
00:37:10,990 --> 00:37:12,506
I mean, I think it
might help with the...
805
00:37:12,530 --> 00:37:14,216
the panic and dread I'm
experiencing right now.
806
00:37:14,240 --> 00:37:15,516
Since when do you
smoke cigarettes?
807
00:37:15,540 --> 00:37:16,610
It's...
808
00:37:17,770 --> 00:37:19,650
I just... You don't even
have to untie my hands.
809
00:37:19,750 --> 00:37:21,930
I mean, I... I can
smoke with no hands.
810
00:37:22,130 --> 00:37:24,350
You could just put
it right in my mouth.
811
00:37:24,550 --> 00:37:25,736
[pirate 2] Give her a cigarette.
812
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:27,310
- Please.
- Maybe it will shut her up.
813
00:37:27,510 --> 00:37:29,240
[Darcy] Yes, yes, yes,
it will shut me up.
814
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:32,620
Oh, thank you.
815
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,580
You guys are the...
816
00:37:38,170 --> 00:37:39,170
best.
817
00:37:39,310 --> 00:37:40,780
- [searing]
- [pirate 2] What?
818
00:37:40,980 --> 00:37:42,970
- Fire!
- [Darcy screaming]
819
00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:45,990
[Tom] Oh, my God!
820
00:37:46,190 --> 00:37:49,080
- [gasps]
- Oh, my God! Flamethrower!
821
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:50,290
- [laughing]
- Oh, my...
822
00:37:50,490 --> 00:37:53,230
See, that's why you only
have a plan with one step!
823
00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:55,960
[Tom gasps]
824
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,340
- No!
- Oh, my God!
825
00:37:57,540 --> 00:37:59,650
- Get the brakes!
- I'm trying! I'm trying!
826
00:38:00,980 --> 00:38:02,550
[Darcy screams]
827
00:38:02,750 --> 00:38:04,700
[both grunting]
828
00:38:07,530 --> 00:38:08,640
- [shrieks]
- Cliff!
829
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,200
- Cliff! Cliff!
- [Darcy] I see it!
830
00:38:10,260 --> 00:38:11,480
Get it into park!
831
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,540
[Tom] I'm trying! [grunting]
832
00:38:14,450 --> 00:38:16,130
- [Darcy] Oh, God! Oh, my God!
- [Tom] God!
833
00:38:16,260 --> 00:38:17,580
[grunting]
834
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,210
Oh, slide out!
835
00:38:20,790 --> 00:38:23,280
[both grunting and gasping]
836
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:24,990
[both laugh]
837
00:38:25,190 --> 00:38:26,740
- [thud]
- [both gasp]
838
00:38:26,940 --> 00:38:29,330
[Darcy] My dress! My dress, Tom!
839
00:38:29,530 --> 00:38:30,700
Tom, don't let go!
840
00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:32,850
- Don't you let go!
- [gasping]
841
00:38:33,180 --> 00:38:35,310
[Darcy] I'm stuck! I'm stuck!
842
00:38:36,060 --> 00:38:37,750
[screaming]
843
00:38:37,950 --> 00:38:39,170
- [Tom strains]
- [dress rips]
844
00:38:39,370 --> 00:38:40,560
[Darcy grunts]
845
00:38:48,030 --> 00:38:49,870
[both panting]
846
00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:53,490
[gunshots]
847
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,230
- Go!
- [whimpering]
848
00:38:57,430 --> 00:38:59,420
Go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go.
849
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,740
- [gunshots continue]
- [Darcy screams]
850
00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:04,950
[Tom panting]
851
00:39:05,150 --> 00:39:07,030
Quick, do something baseball-y.
852
00:39:07,230 --> 00:39:09,220
What? This is nothing
like baseball!
853
00:39:10,180 --> 00:39:11,970
- Down! Down, down!
- [Darcy] Fuck!
854
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:13,810
[gun clicks]
855
00:39:14,100 --> 00:39:16,790
- He's out of ammo.
- Right.
856
00:39:16,990 --> 00:39:18,350
- Run at him!
- What?
857
00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:21,250
- Go. Believe me, just go!
- No, no, no!
858
00:39:21,370 --> 00:39:22,370
[all grunt]
859
00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:24,230
[gasps]
860
00:39:26,030 --> 00:39:27,940
- Grenade!
- He has a grenade!
861
00:39:28,860 --> 00:39:29,860
Sir!
862
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,350
Sir, sir.
863
00:39:31,550 --> 00:39:33,020
Give me the grenade, sir. Sir!
864
00:39:33,220 --> 00:39:35,980
Sir, give me the
grenade. Sir. Sir!
865
00:39:36,180 --> 00:39:38,000
[all grunting]
866
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,040
- [Tom groans]
- [Darcy] Ah-ow. Ow!
867
00:39:44,170 --> 00:39:46,920
- [bones crack]
- [both panting]
868
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,540
[whispering] Oh, my God.
869
00:39:54,740 --> 00:39:56,720
- Is he dead?
- I don't know.
870
00:39:57,970 --> 00:39:59,430
[shouts] Are you dead?
871
00:40:07,730 --> 00:40:10,300
Oh, yeah, he's very not alive.
872
00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:12,390
Not alive. Oh, boy.
873
00:40:12,590 --> 00:40:14,390
- Yes! You killed him!
- Yeah!
874
00:40:14,590 --> 00:40:16,640
Yeah, I killed
him! I killed him!
875
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,150
[both laughing]
876
00:40:18,340 --> 00:40:20,400
Oh, my God, I killed a man.
877
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,190
I killed a man. No.
878
00:40:23,390 --> 00:40:25,400
- [gasping]
- How do you feel?
879
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,610
I feel... Oh, my
God. I feel horrible.
880
00:40:27,810 --> 00:40:30,120
- Yeah.
- But excited.
881
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:32,400
You know, like, happy. Like,
I'm gonna shit my pants.
882
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:33,480
- Yeah.
- You know, like,
883
00:40:33,570 --> 00:40:34,910
but in a good way. You know?
884
00:40:35,110 --> 00:40:36,220
[Darcy] Huh.
885
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:37,760
Oh, my God.
886
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:40,080
I'm gonna go to prison.
887
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:41,280
- I'm gonna...
- No!
888
00:40:41,450 --> 00:40:43,000
- Yeah.
- No. It was... It...
889
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,000
It was self-defense. He
was trying to kill us.
890
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:46,400
Any court would...
891
00:40:47,230 --> 00:40:48,360
Any court...
892
00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:50,030
Are you okay?
893
00:40:50,170 --> 00:40:52,760
Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.
894
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,600
It's just, you know, I looked over
there and I saw all the blood.
895
00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:57,400
And, you know, I think
I saw some brain.
896
00:40:57,550 --> 00:40:59,140
- Was that brain stuff?
- Yeah. Yeah.
897
00:40:59,340 --> 00:41:02,900
And so I'm just gonna look up at
the sky and... so I don't pass out.
898
00:41:03,100 --> 00:41:04,656
Okay. Well, you know
what? Maybe we should...
899
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,000
- [huffing]
- Let's just step away
900
00:41:06,180 --> 00:41:07,180
from the scene.
901
00:41:07,270 --> 00:41:08,366
- And don't look down.
- Okay.
902
00:41:08,390 --> 00:41:09,590
- Okay.
- Just don't look down.
903
00:41:10,670 --> 00:41:12,370
[pirate leader] They
should be here by now.
904
00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:13,570
Head up the road.
905
00:41:13,650 --> 00:41:15,010
- Check on them.
- [pirate 3] Yeah.
906
00:41:18,390 --> 00:41:20,460
[breathing through teeth]
907
00:41:20,660 --> 00:41:23,790
All right. We need to
get off this island.
908
00:41:23,990 --> 00:41:26,920
Well, it might help that
I got this grenade for us.
909
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,380
I mean, he was trying to
blow us up, but I got it.
910
00:41:29,580 --> 00:41:31,740
I got it. Another
point for Darcy.
911
00:41:32,650 --> 00:41:34,140
[blows sharply]
912
00:41:34,340 --> 00:41:35,850
Okay, Darcy.
913
00:41:36,050 --> 00:41:37,050
Uh...
914
00:41:37,820 --> 00:41:39,160
Do you remember
915
00:41:39,780 --> 00:41:41,620
that time that we were
driving down the highway
916
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,730
and you very calmly
told me to pull over?
917
00:41:44,930 --> 00:41:46,400
And you waited
until we pulled over
918
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,250
to tell me that there was
a giant spider on my head?
919
00:41:49,790 --> 00:41:51,110
Yeah. Yeah.
920
00:41:51,310 --> 00:41:52,590
Yeah, well, that was very smart.
921
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:57,410
Because if you had told me before, I
might have panicked and crashed the car.
922
00:41:57,610 --> 00:41:58,876
Wait. Is there a
spider on my head?
923
00:41:58,900 --> 00:42:00,300
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
924
00:42:00,410 --> 00:42:02,310
No, no. I tell you
this story because...
925
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:04,590
I don't want you to panic
926
00:42:04,780 --> 00:42:06,650
when I tell you what
I'm about to tell you.
927
00:42:07,650 --> 00:42:10,360
Your grenade doesn't have a pin.
928
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:15,970
- What does that mean?
- Well...
929
00:42:16,170 --> 00:42:17,890
Well, is it... is it...
is it gonna explode?
930
00:42:18,050 --> 00:42:19,770
No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.
931
00:42:19,970 --> 00:42:22,040
Hold it exactly how you're
holding it. Good. Good.
932
00:42:22,330 --> 00:42:24,270
- Okay. Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
933
00:42:24,470 --> 00:42:26,400
That pin holds the handle on.
934
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,480
But when you let go of the
grenade, the handle pops off,
935
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,500
which lights the fuse, and
the whole thing goes...
936
00:42:33,460 --> 00:42:34,460
boom.
937
00:42:34,650 --> 00:42:36,610
[whispers] How do you know
so much about grenades?
938
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:38,080
Video games.
939
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,126
So what should I do?
Should... Should I throw it?
940
00:42:40,150 --> 00:42:43,710
Well, my concern is that you won't be able
to throw it far enough to not blow us up.
941
00:42:43,910 --> 00:42:45,810
- No offense.
- God.
942
00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:48,460
So, what, I just... I just
hold this live grenade?
943
00:42:48,660 --> 00:42:50,590
This grenade is just
part of my life now?
944
00:42:50,790 --> 00:42:52,150
Yeah, for now, yeah, yeah, yeah.
945
00:42:56,070 --> 00:42:57,490
Okay, here's the plan.
946
00:42:58,740 --> 00:42:59,810
We're gonna get a knife.
947
00:43:00,010 --> 00:43:01,026
- Okay. All right.
- I'm gonna cut
948
00:43:01,050 --> 00:43:03,250
through these ties, we're
gonna get rid of that grenade,
949
00:43:03,910 --> 00:43:05,366
and then we're gonna
head down to the docks.
950
00:43:05,390 --> 00:43:07,110
We're gonna bum-rush
the pirate guarding it,
951
00:43:07,220 --> 00:43:09,620
hop in a boat, and head to
the next island for help.
952
00:43:10,210 --> 00:43:13,400
- Okay?
- Tom, that plan...
953
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,010
[sighs] Has too many
steps. I see that now.
954
00:43:16,670 --> 00:43:18,720
[sighs] Now, you
got a simpler one?
955
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,330
- Yes. Yes.
- What?
956
00:43:21,530 --> 00:43:23,290
- Yes. Okay.
- What are you doing?
957
00:43:23,490 --> 00:43:25,000
Get down here. Found it.
958
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:26,640
- Found it. Yes.
- What are we doing?
959
00:43:26,740 --> 00:43:28,380
- Right here.
- What are we doing?
960
00:43:28,580 --> 00:43:30,650
- [laughs triumphantly]
- Oh.
961
00:43:31,310 --> 00:43:32,310
Oh.
962
00:43:32,500 --> 00:43:34,840
Find cell service.
Call for help.
963
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:36,516
When did you put that
in your underwear?
964
00:43:36,540 --> 00:43:37,680
[chuckles]
965
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:39,686
Right before the pirates
took us out of the cabana.
966
00:43:39,710 --> 00:43:41,430
Because I'm a
sneaky little bitch.
967
00:43:41,630 --> 00:43:44,030
Oh, you are a
sneaky little bitch.
968
00:43:44,740 --> 00:43:45,980
- Thank you.
- [sighs]
969
00:43:46,180 --> 00:43:47,560
- Okay.
- Let's start walking.
970
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,540
[Darcy] Sneaky.
Sneaky little bitch.
971
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:53,530
You're testing my
patience, Robert!
972
00:43:53,730 --> 00:43:55,166
Look, you want my money?
I want my daughter.
973
00:43:55,190 --> 00:43:56,826
- It's a simple negotiation.
- [pirate leader] Enough!
974
00:43:56,850 --> 00:43:57,850
All right.
975
00:43:57,940 --> 00:43:58,996
[Carol] They're
bringing him back.
976
00:43:59,020 --> 00:44:00,020
[pirate leader] Move.
977
00:44:00,150 --> 00:44:02,410
[Sean] Robert. What
happened? Are you okay?
978
00:44:02,610 --> 00:44:03,716
They didn't hurt you, did they?
979
00:44:03,740 --> 00:44:06,920
Well, I'm not giving them a dime
till I know my daughter's alive.
980
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,850
That didn't go over very well.
981
00:44:09,430 --> 00:44:11,670
I'm afraid they're gonna
start shooting the hostages.
982
00:44:11,870 --> 00:44:12,976
[Sean] I don't think
they're gonna do that.
983
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,810
[Harriett] Isn't that
exactly what pirates do?
984
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:24,910
Come out, Mr. Pirate Man!
985
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,330
My name
986
00:44:34,460 --> 00:44:37,590
is Carol Elaine Fowler,
987
00:44:38,670 --> 00:44:40,470
and I deserve to live.
988
00:44:41,470 --> 00:44:44,450
Carol, what are you doing?
989
00:44:44,650 --> 00:44:46,050
[whispering] I'm
humanizing myself.
990
00:44:46,240 --> 00:44:47,926
[in normal tone] I saw it
on Good Morning America.
991
00:44:47,950 --> 00:44:51,520
If you humanize yourself
to them, they let you live.
992
00:44:54,190 --> 00:44:57,730
I am a wife. I am a mother.
993
00:44:58,190 --> 00:45:02,850
And I was Milford, Michigan's
top realtor in 1998,
994
00:45:03,050 --> 00:45:05,240
and again in 2007.
995
00:45:06,070 --> 00:45:09,370
I dream of going to Ireland.
996
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,710
I was a late bloomer and my teeth
didn't come in till I was 14.
997
00:45:14,330 --> 00:45:15,380
Please pick me.
998
00:45:15,750 --> 00:45:17,540
My name is Jeannie Reed.
999
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:22,220
I am a devoted mother and a
slightly less devoted wife.
1000
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:24,450
This is my first
vacation without my kids,
1001
00:45:24,650 --> 00:45:27,160
so I drank a lot of champagne
before the ceremony,
1002
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:28,376
took a couple of weed gummies,
1003
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,620
and the combination is
really killing me right now.
1004
00:45:30,820 --> 00:45:34,920
I'm Amanda Walker. I'm a
godmother and a woman in tech.
1005
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,020
- I went to...
- I am Renata.
1006
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,110
I'm from Brazil.
1007
00:45:41,110 --> 00:45:43,800
I have beautiful hair.
1008
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,000
Yeah. Very beautiful.
1009
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:46,820
What else?
1010
00:45:48,450 --> 00:45:49,580
You're a mother.
1011
00:45:50,450 --> 00:45:51,910
I am a mother.
1012
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:54,440
My name is Ricky Silver.
1013
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:56,570
A lot of my friends,
they're pairing up,
1014
00:45:56,770 --> 00:45:59,570
and they're getting married and
drinking loose-leaf tea and shit.
1015
00:45:59,770 --> 00:46:01,710
And I'm still single.
But last night...
1016
00:46:03,260 --> 00:46:06,970
I made love to a gorgeous
and terrifying woman.
1017
00:46:07,510 --> 00:46:08,800
You think I'm terrifying?
1018
00:46:09,890 --> 00:46:11,640
You scare the shit out of me.
1019
00:46:12,430 --> 00:46:14,430
[light music playing]
1020
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,150
I'm Larry Fowler.
1021
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:21,440
[music halts]
1022
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:24,440
Oh...
1023
00:46:24,940 --> 00:46:25,950
Thank you.
1024
00:46:27,490 --> 00:46:28,910
- Oh.
- [Jeannie] Oh, easy, Dad.
1025
00:46:29,910 --> 00:46:31,196
- Hold the phone. Yes.
- [Tom] How am I gonna...
1026
00:46:31,220 --> 00:46:32,366
- Hold it steady.
- [Darcy] Hold it. Hold on.
1027
00:46:32,390 --> 00:46:34,690
I just gotta get this
thing out of my head.
1028
00:46:34,890 --> 00:46:37,650
It's driving me crazy. [sighs]
1029
00:46:37,850 --> 00:46:39,830
- Wait. Hold on. Just wait.
- What are you...
1030
00:46:41,130 --> 00:46:43,070
What are you... Are you
stuffing a loose wad
1031
00:46:43,270 --> 00:46:44,660
of hair in my pocket?
1032
00:46:44,860 --> 00:46:47,280
Yes. A loose wad
of very expensive,
1033
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,370
custom-made hair that
I would like to keep.
1034
00:46:49,570 --> 00:46:50,890
If we survive.
1035
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:53,540
[laughing]
1036
00:46:53,740 --> 00:46:55,020
What's so funny?
1037
00:46:57,100 --> 00:46:58,800
- I've just been...
- Ow, ow, ow!
1038
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,550
Questioning everything lately.
1039
00:47:01,750 --> 00:47:04,680
What if the wedding's not perfect?
What if your parents never like me?
1040
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:06,890
What does life look
like after baseball?
1041
00:47:07,090 --> 00:47:08,720
But not once did I wonder
1042
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:13,080
if I'd be walking handcuffed through
the jungle with a live grenade.
1043
00:47:13,790 --> 00:47:17,900
Oh. Pirates chasing you
wasn't on your vision board?
1044
00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:20,210
Well, you were the only
thing on my vision board.
1045
00:47:21,250 --> 00:47:22,250
[Darcy grunts]
1046
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:23,490
- [Darcy yelps]
- [grunts]
1047
00:47:23,690 --> 00:47:24,826
- I got it, I got it, I got it.
- Oh! Oh!
1048
00:47:24,850 --> 00:47:26,496
- You got it? You got it?
- I got it. I got it.
1049
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,340
- Okay. I got it.
- Oh, good. Okay. Oh. [panting]
1050
00:47:31,550 --> 00:47:33,510
- We have a bar.
- Oh, good.
1051
00:47:34,220 --> 00:47:35,220
All right.
1052
00:47:35,410 --> 00:47:36,730
- Keep your hands with me.
- Okay.
1053
00:47:36,820 --> 00:47:38,380
- Okay.
- Call for help.
1054
00:47:38,580 --> 00:47:40,440
Yes. Shit! It's gone.
1055
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,020
- [groans]
- [Tom] Well, keep trying.
1056
00:47:47,150 --> 00:47:48,830
- I think, maybe...
- We have to go higher.
1057
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,200
- What?
- Yes.
1058
00:47:50,740 --> 00:47:53,240
Not... No. No, no, no.
Uh, I don't like higher.
1059
00:47:55,700 --> 00:47:57,700
[intense music playing]
1060
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:07,166
Yeah, I don't... I don't think
this thing is built to code.
1061
00:48:07,190 --> 00:48:08,620
- Tom.
- Anything?
1062
00:48:08,810 --> 00:48:10,680
No. Come on.
1063
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:13,580
- Yeah.
- We're almost at the top.
1064
00:48:13,780 --> 00:48:16,710
Maybe we should go back down
so we're not up so high.
1065
00:48:16,910 --> 00:48:19,670
Don't think about the heights
right now. Okay? We're safe.
1066
00:48:19,870 --> 00:48:21,890
Yeah. You use the word
"safe" very loosely.
1067
00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,020
Oh, my God.
1068
00:48:27,730 --> 00:48:28,730
[cell phone chimes]
1069
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:30,226
- Full service. Full service.
- Oh, yes.
1070
00:48:30,250 --> 00:48:31,566
- I have full service.
- [chiming continues]
1071
00:48:31,590 --> 00:48:32,686
[Tom] Whoa, whoa,
whoa. Silence it.
1072
00:48:32,710 --> 00:48:34,390
- [whispers] I'm trying.
- [Tom shushes]
1073
00:48:34,590 --> 00:48:36,240
- [chiming continues]
- [birds chirping]
1074
00:48:39,580 --> 00:48:41,190
Your group chat
is out of control.
1075
00:48:41,390 --> 00:48:43,446
I will not apologize for
having enthusiastic friends.
1076
00:48:43,470 --> 00:48:44,790
- [gunshots]
- [both yelp]
1077
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:48,030
Oh! You dropped it.
1078
00:48:48,230 --> 00:48:49,960
- [Darcy] Come on!
- [gunshots continue]
1079
00:48:50,510 --> 00:48:52,160
- We gotta zip.
- Zip?
1080
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:53,590
What do you mean, "zip"?
1081
00:48:54,590 --> 00:48:56,620
- Oh! Zip. Oh, God!
- [gunshot]
1082
00:48:56,820 --> 00:48:58,010
Go, go, go.
1083
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:00,520
No, I don't think we have
the proper equipment.
1084
00:49:00,700 --> 00:49:02,060
- [gunshot]
- Well, they have guns.
1085
00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:03,426
[Tom] Is there some
kind of a manual?
1086
00:49:03,450 --> 00:49:04,450
[pirate 3] Come down!
1087
00:49:04,580 --> 00:49:06,920
[Tom] We need helmets. I see
lots of helmets in the photos.
1088
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:07,920
[Darcy grunts]
1089
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:09,440
And then why do
they look scared?
1090
00:49:09,540 --> 00:49:11,150
[Darcy] Stop thinking
so much. Jump!
1091
00:49:11,940 --> 00:49:14,030
[Tom screaming]
1092
00:49:17,740 --> 00:49:20,480
- Stop screaming!
- Oh, God! Oh, my God!
1093
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:21,810
Whoa!
1094
00:49:22,010 --> 00:49:23,060
Tom, don't let go.
1095
00:49:23,260 --> 00:49:25,210
- [gunshots]
- The fuck!
1096
00:49:25,790 --> 00:49:28,170
[both screaming]
1097
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:31,110
[Tom] Hold on, baby. Hold on.
1098
00:49:31,310 --> 00:49:32,470
Okay.
1099
00:49:34,590 --> 00:49:36,370
[Tom screaming]
1100
00:49:36,570 --> 00:49:37,570
[grenade clatters]
1101
00:49:38,220 --> 00:49:39,220
[pirate 4] Uh...
1102
00:49:40,260 --> 00:49:43,690
- Yeah! [laughs]
- [Darcy] Yeah!
1103
00:49:44,350 --> 00:49:46,130
[pirate leader] What
the hell was that?
1104
00:49:46,330 --> 00:49:48,440
- [Darcy screaming]
- [laughing]
1105
00:49:50,020 --> 00:49:52,360
[Tom screaming]
1106
00:49:56,910 --> 00:49:57,950
[Darcy] Oh, God!
1107
00:50:00,540 --> 00:50:02,366
- [Darcy] Oh, God!
- How do we land this thing?
1108
00:50:02,390 --> 00:50:03,730
Me first. I'm gonna go first.
1109
00:50:03,930 --> 00:50:06,730
- What about me?
- No, let me. Me first.
1110
00:50:06,930 --> 00:50:08,400
I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump.
1111
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:10,740
- [Tom] Okay, okay.
- I got it. I got it.
1112
00:50:10,940 --> 00:50:12,130
Here I go!
1113
00:50:14,420 --> 00:50:15,840
[Darcy groans]
1114
00:50:17,430 --> 00:50:20,390
[Tom] Oh! [groaning]
1115
00:50:22,390 --> 00:50:23,810
[Tom panting]
1116
00:50:26,940 --> 00:50:28,900
[solemn music playing]
1117
00:50:37,030 --> 00:50:38,990
[suspenseful music playing]
1118
00:50:45,370 --> 00:50:47,040
[pirate leader] These
people are sick.
1119
00:50:47,790 --> 00:50:51,150
You find them, but I kill them.
1120
00:50:51,350 --> 00:50:52,880
[rustling]
1121
00:50:54,380 --> 00:50:55,800
[pirate 2] You can have the man,
1122
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,630
but the bride is mine.
1123
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,636
[Darcy] Police, coast guard,
they're all right there.
1124
00:51:03,660 --> 00:51:05,046
- How do we get across?
- I don't know.
1125
00:51:05,070 --> 00:51:07,590
[Carol] Okay, let's all go around
and play two truths and a lie.
1126
00:51:07,740 --> 00:51:08,740
[pirate] Be quiet!
1127
00:51:08,870 --> 00:51:10,020
- Carol.
- Mom.
1128
00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:11,860
- [Darcy] Easy.
- [mumbles]
1129
00:51:12,690 --> 00:51:13,900
Okay, come on.
1130
00:51:14,650 --> 00:51:15,940
Come on, come on, come on.
1131
00:51:20,990 --> 00:51:22,350
[Darcy] Oh, my God.
1132
00:51:22,550 --> 00:51:23,870
Oh, my God. [crying]
1133
00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:27,120
I'm gonna fix this.
1134
00:51:31,130 --> 00:51:32,490
[Darcy] My poor mom.
1135
00:51:32,690 --> 00:51:35,460
She thought she was gonna be
able to avoid my dad all weekend.
1136
00:51:37,050 --> 00:51:39,590
My mom used to love
my dad so much.
1137
00:51:42,010 --> 00:51:43,660
He was her whole world.
1138
00:51:43,860 --> 00:51:46,600
Then when he left,
she just lost her joy.
1139
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,230
I mean, she acts tough, but...
1140
00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:53,610
she never really recovered.
1141
00:51:58,990 --> 00:52:00,610
- Darcy, I'm sorry...
- I know.
1142
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,700
We have to keep moving.
1143
00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:08,040
[both gasp]
1144
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:14,880
[amusing music playing]
1145
00:52:19,550 --> 00:52:21,430
[whispering] What the
hell does that mean?
1146
00:52:25,010 --> 00:52:26,010
[whispering] Kitchen.
1147
00:52:28,930 --> 00:52:30,340
- [door opens]
- [Tom grunts]
1148
00:52:30,530 --> 00:52:32,190
Okay, we need to find a knife.
1149
00:52:32,690 --> 00:52:34,710
- Oh. Mmm.
- What... What...
1150
00:52:34,910 --> 00:52:35,910
What are you doing?
1151
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:37,360
I'm starving. Have
you eaten today?
1152
00:52:37,540 --> 00:52:38,540
No, I'm not hungry.
1153
00:52:38,710 --> 00:52:40,110
Yes, you are. You're
acting cranky.
1154
00:52:40,170 --> 00:52:42,990
- Mmm. Mmm! Mmm.
- [Darcy] Mmm.
1155
00:52:44,740 --> 00:52:46,980
- Mmm, this is so delicious.
- [indistinct radio chatter]
1156
00:52:48,620 --> 00:52:49,700
[Darcy gasps]
1157
00:52:58,210 --> 00:52:59,780
[whispering] I love your mom.
1158
00:52:59,980 --> 00:53:01,220
Okay, come on.
1159
00:53:02,300 --> 00:53:04,120
Come on. Ow! Easy, easy.
1160
00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:05,500
I can't cut with one hand.
1161
00:53:05,690 --> 00:53:07,260
Well, I can't cut with no hands.
1162
00:53:11,890 --> 00:53:13,630
We need to find something else.
1163
00:53:13,830 --> 00:53:14,900
Okay?
1164
00:53:15,650 --> 00:53:17,980
Something that cuts
through plastic.
1165
00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:20,280
Hmm...
1166
00:53:22,900 --> 00:53:23,910
Yep.
1167
00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:26,160
[whirring]
1168
00:53:28,830 --> 00:53:30,310
- Is this a bad idea?
- Yeah.
1169
00:53:30,510 --> 00:53:32,290
- You ready?
- No!
1170
00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:34,920
Okay.
1171
00:53:37,790 --> 00:53:39,380
[mumbles] There you go.
1172
00:53:41,170 --> 00:53:42,570
[loudly] Hang on,
hang on, hang on!
1173
00:53:42,730 --> 00:53:43,916
[groans] Darcy, you're stalling.
1174
00:53:43,940 --> 00:53:44,950
- I know.
- We got this.
1175
00:53:45,150 --> 00:53:46,190
- Okay. Yes.
- We got this.
1176
00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:48,500
- On my count. Ready?
- Okay.
1177
00:53:48,700 --> 00:53:51,420
- Yes.
- Ten, nine, eight...
1178
00:53:51,620 --> 00:53:53,170
Why are you counting from ten?
1179
00:53:53,370 --> 00:53:54,570
What is this, a rocket launch?
1180
00:53:54,700 --> 00:53:55,700
Okay, fine. On four.
1181
00:53:56,310 --> 00:53:59,720
One, two, three...
1182
00:53:59,920 --> 00:54:01,220
No one goes on four.
1183
00:54:01,420 --> 00:54:02,860
- No one goes on four.
- All right...
1184
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:04,100
Shh! Shh.
1185
00:54:04,290 --> 00:54:05,930
- [grunts] Okay.
- Just...
1186
00:54:06,130 --> 00:54:08,180
- Just like a Band-Aid.
- Fine, fine.
1187
00:54:08,380 --> 00:54:09,580
- Ready? Go.
- Like a Band-Aid.
1188
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,440
- [machine whines]
- [Tom screams]
1189
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,910
- [groaning]
- [Darcy screams]
1190
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:16,320
[blood dripping]
1191
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,070
[muffled screaming]
1192
00:54:18,270 --> 00:54:19,270
[squeals]
1193
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:22,800
[groans] Oh, my God.
1194
00:54:27,220 --> 00:54:28,680
Come on. [grunts]
1195
00:54:33,350 --> 00:54:35,420
[tense music playing]
1196
00:54:35,620 --> 00:54:37,730
- [sizzling]
- [liquid boiling]
1197
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:04,920
[cocks gun]
1198
00:55:05,630 --> 00:55:06,800
Tom!
1199
00:55:08,590 --> 00:55:09,840
[softly] Tom.
1200
00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:12,350
- [dish clangs]
- [Tom grunts]
1201
00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:20,900
[grunts]
1202
00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:23,820
[pirate grunts]
1203
00:55:26,820 --> 00:55:28,700
[squeaking]
1204
00:55:29,070 --> 00:55:30,610
[both grunting]
1205
00:55:40,500 --> 00:55:41,920
[pirate screams]
1206
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:44,050
[pirate yells]
1207
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:52,600
[Tom panting]
1208
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,480
[continues panting]
1209
00:56:02,350 --> 00:56:03,650
I thought you left.
1210
00:56:05,110 --> 00:56:06,190
What?
1211
00:56:08,650 --> 00:56:09,650
No.
1212
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:12,530
Never.
1213
00:56:16,910 --> 00:56:18,330
Where'd your mom's knife go?
1214
00:56:29,670 --> 00:56:31,510
Oh, Jesus, help me.
1215
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,270
[sighs in relief] That's good.
1216
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:41,940
Throw me those boots.
1217
00:57:00,540 --> 00:57:02,580
[rousing music playing]
1218
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:08,840
What?
1219
00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:12,800
That dress is growing on me.
1220
00:57:15,430 --> 00:57:16,640
Thanks.
1221
00:57:17,390 --> 00:57:19,010
I wanted something
less traditional.
1222
00:57:20,770 --> 00:57:22,730
[whirring]
1223
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:30,150
[intense music playing]
1224
00:57:48,290 --> 00:57:51,170
Yes. Maybe Margy's got a
hard line to the Internet.
1225
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:54,300
Wow, does Margy love corgis.
1226
00:57:55,970 --> 00:57:57,850
No. Damn it.
1227
00:57:58,970 --> 00:58:00,650
[pirate 2] You go over
there, I'll go here.
1228
00:58:00,820 --> 00:58:02,256
- [pirate 5] Yeah.
- They're right there.
1229
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:03,770
- What do I do?
- I don't know.
1230
00:58:04,190 --> 00:58:05,560
I don't know.
1231
00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:08,050
- [Tom gasps]
- [shushes]
1232
00:58:08,250 --> 00:58:09,670
- Oh, Margy.
- This way.
1233
00:58:09,870 --> 00:58:10,900
[Tom] Go, go, go.
1234
00:58:11,940 --> 00:58:13,260
Okay. I got you.
1235
00:58:13,460 --> 00:58:15,280
[Darcy] It's okay. It's okay.
1236
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:17,310
[door closes]
1237
00:58:17,510 --> 00:58:19,120
Come. Faster, faster.
1238
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:21,810
Ace, Margy...
1239
00:58:22,010 --> 00:58:23,690
- Is this your bunker?
- [Ace] Uh-huh.
1240
00:58:23,890 --> 00:58:24,906
- Man cave.
- Is it spinning?
1241
00:58:24,930 --> 00:58:26,170
Is it spinning for anyone else?
1242
00:58:26,290 --> 00:58:27,980
You're losing blood. Sit down.
1243
00:58:28,180 --> 00:58:30,610
- Sit down. Okay.
- Bandages. Ace.
1244
00:58:30,810 --> 00:58:32,360
[Ace] I'll get the medical kit.
1245
00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:34,070
Give me your hand.
I'm gonna wrap it.
1246
00:58:34,270 --> 00:58:36,090
No. No, no, no. No.
1247
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:38,180
Are you sure? It's disgusting.
1248
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:40,680
Yeah.
1249
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:48,810
Oh. Cheers.
1250
00:58:51,770 --> 00:58:52,930
[shudders] Okay.
1251
00:58:53,130 --> 00:58:55,440
[groans] Looks like
it's got a flap.
1252
00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,100
It's got a loose flap.
1253
00:58:58,300 --> 00:58:59,780
- Listen, just be...
- [Darcy] Mm-hmm.
1254
00:59:00,070 --> 00:59:02,230
Just... Just be
careful with the flap.
1255
00:59:02,430 --> 00:59:04,690
Please stop saying "flap," okay?
1256
00:59:04,890 --> 00:59:06,960
I'm totally fine.
Just don't say flap.
1257
00:59:07,750 --> 00:59:09,780
- [Margy] How many are there?
- Uh...
1258
00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:13,200
Two in the lobby. Couple more
by the pool with the hostages.
1259
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:16,280
And, uh, one by the dock, right?
1260
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,680
But we got four.
1261
00:59:19,430 --> 00:59:20,930
What do you mean, "got"?
1262
00:59:24,220 --> 00:59:26,640
Got them to stop, you know,
1263
00:59:27,890 --> 00:59:29,140
being alive.
1264
00:59:29,940 --> 00:59:31,550
Holy shit.
1265
00:59:31,750 --> 00:59:34,031
[Tom] Well, yeah, we didn't
see any of your staff, though.
1266
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:36,260
I saw them getting
locked up in the spa.
1267
00:59:36,460 --> 00:59:37,850
They never bother
with the locals.
1268
00:59:38,050 --> 00:59:41,180
Americans are the rich
idiots. No offense.
1269
00:59:41,380 --> 00:59:44,100
I just don't understand why
the pirates are still here.
1270
00:59:44,300 --> 00:59:45,940
Last time, they just
looted the rooms.
1271
00:59:46,140 --> 00:59:49,160
Twenty minutes, gone. [sighs]
1272
00:59:50,460 --> 00:59:51,660
What do you mean, "last time"?
1273
00:59:51,810 --> 00:59:53,530
Last year. [speaking Filipino]
1274
00:59:53,730 --> 00:59:55,746
[in English] Two thousand
islands in the Philippines,
1275
00:59:55,770 --> 00:59:56,820
and they hit us twice?
1276
00:59:57,020 --> 00:59:58,340
- It's not fair.
- Wait, wait.
1277
00:59:59,340 --> 01:00:01,620
The pirates were
here last summer?
1278
01:00:01,820 --> 01:00:03,300
And you let us have
our wedding here?
1279
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,850
What? Tom-Tom. We
talked about it, huh?
1280
01:00:09,390 --> 01:00:10,390
You knew about this?
1281
01:00:10,540 --> 01:00:12,500
Well, first of all, nobody
got killed last summer.
1282
01:00:12,660 --> 01:00:13,660
And we both agreed that
1283
01:00:13,790 --> 01:00:15,880
the chances of it happening
again were very small.
1284
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:17,820
- Who's "we"?
- Me and Margy.
1285
01:00:18,490 --> 01:00:19,550
We e-mailed a lot,
1286
01:00:19,750 --> 01:00:21,590
and I asked a lot of
tough questions, didn't I?
1287
01:00:21,670 --> 01:00:23,720
How could you not
tell me about this?
1288
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:25,486
You didn't tell me that
you were having doubts
1289
01:00:25,510 --> 01:00:26,630
about getting married, so...
1290
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,580
Yeah, you're right. I
didn't. You know why?
1291
01:00:29,910 --> 01:00:33,780
Because all last year, you were
in your head about everything.
1292
01:00:33,980 --> 01:00:36,660
You thought my dad didn't like you,
so you started acting all weird.
1293
01:00:36,850 --> 01:00:38,130
And now my dad doesn't like you.
1294
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:40,416
You thought the Robins
were gonna drop you.
1295
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:42,721
And then you started playing
badly, and they did drop you.
1296
01:00:42,860 --> 01:00:44,750
You think that something
bad is gonna happen,
1297
01:00:44,950 --> 01:00:46,660
and then you make it happen.
1298
01:00:46,860 --> 01:00:48,210
That's called self-sabotage.
1299
01:00:48,410 --> 01:00:50,390
It is. Ace, thank you.
1300
01:00:50,810 --> 01:00:53,460
And all you were excited
about was this wedding.
1301
01:00:53,660 --> 01:00:56,590
And I knew that if I told
you that I was having doubts,
1302
01:00:56,790 --> 01:00:58,720
that you would sabotage
our whole relationship.
1303
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:00,340
Which you did anyway!
1304
01:01:00,540 --> 01:01:02,030
I didn't sabotage anything.
1305
01:01:02,530 --> 01:01:04,180
I tried to make this
wedding perfect.
1306
01:01:04,380 --> 01:01:07,020
And it all got ruined the
day your boy Sean showed up.
1307
01:01:07,220 --> 01:01:08,810
This has nothing
to do with Sean.
1308
01:01:09,010 --> 01:01:10,650
This is about your insecurities.
1309
01:01:10,850 --> 01:01:12,060
And this whole wedding
1310
01:01:12,260 --> 01:01:14,650
was your way of trying to
get control of your life,
1311
01:01:14,850 --> 01:01:16,156
because you have to
control everything.
1312
01:01:16,180 --> 01:01:18,950
It's like when you get out of the
car to "help me" parallel park,
1313
01:01:19,150 --> 01:01:20,630
when I can do it
just fine on my own.
1314
01:01:20,810 --> 01:01:22,496
Yeah, I wouldn't call a
17-point turn "just fine."
1315
01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:24,600
Well, those jeans you bought
from Old Navy last month
1316
01:01:24,690 --> 01:01:25,830
were women's jeans.
1317
01:01:26,030 --> 01:01:27,080
Uh...
1318
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:28,796
Well, I found them
in the men's section.
1319
01:01:28,820 --> 01:01:30,216
They made you look
like Stevie Nicks.
1320
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:32,670
That haircut that you got
last year, I hated it.
1321
01:01:32,870 --> 01:01:35,430
It made your head look square.
You looked like a fucking Simpson.
1322
01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:36,920
You said it was chic.
1323
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:38,720
You act so confident,
1324
01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:40,800
so strong, but you're
just a scared little girl.
1325
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:44,430
You're afraid to go all
in on this relationship
1326
01:01:44,630 --> 01:01:46,810
because it means you might
have something to lose.
1327
01:01:47,010 --> 01:01:48,410
[breath trembling]
1328
01:01:53,830 --> 01:01:56,040
Well, you know what? None
of it matters anyway.
1329
01:01:57,130 --> 01:02:00,340
Because everyone
we love could die.
1330
01:02:03,670 --> 01:02:04,970
Because of me.
1331
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:10,000
[Margy gasps]
1332
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:11,560
[Tom shushes]
1333
01:02:23,530 --> 01:02:24,530
[radio crackles]
1334
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:27,066
[pirate 2] I think they're
in the manager's house.
1335
01:02:27,090 --> 01:02:28,620
[all gasp]
1336
01:02:35,330 --> 01:02:37,120
- [door creaks]
- [shushes]
1337
01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:43,960
[door closes]
1338
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:50,760
[footsteps overhead]
1339
01:02:54,220 --> 01:02:56,060
[indistinct radio chatter]
1340
01:02:58,940 --> 01:03:00,510
[whispering] I
think they heard it.
1341
01:03:00,710 --> 01:03:01,760
[whispering] Why?
1342
01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:03,570
They stopped speaking English.
1343
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:06,740
Here. Take it.
1344
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:09,950
[Margy whispering] Don't. Tom.
1345
01:03:12,410 --> 01:03:14,446
We need to get out of here.
Where does this tunnel go?
1346
01:03:14,470 --> 01:03:17,480
It leads straight to the pool
where the rest of the pirates are.
1347
01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:19,170
Oh, that's not ideal.
1348
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:22,290
[indistinct radio chatter]
1349
01:03:23,380 --> 01:03:24,760
What are they saying?
1350
01:03:25,340 --> 01:03:26,450
No clue.
1351
01:03:26,650 --> 01:03:30,010
I don't know what language
that is, but it ain't Filipino.
1352
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:32,140
- No.
- No.
1353
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:38,480
No one move. Stay right here.
1354
01:03:39,060 --> 01:03:40,190
Nobody move.
1355
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:42,860
[Darcy] What are you doing?
1356
01:03:47,190 --> 01:03:49,200
[suspenseful music playing]
1357
01:03:52,700 --> 01:03:53,700
Okay.
1358
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:56,790
They know someone's here, but
they don't know all of us are.
1359
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:01,960
You stay here until it's over.
1360
01:04:03,290 --> 01:04:04,290
Tom!
1361
01:04:08,630 --> 01:04:10,700
Tom! They're gonna kill you.
1362
01:04:10,900 --> 01:04:12,470
- Don't do this.
- [Tom] I have to.
1363
01:04:13,140 --> 01:04:15,390
This isn't about us
anymore. This is...
1364
01:04:16,060 --> 01:04:19,060
[sighs] This whole
thing is my fault.
1365
01:04:22,270 --> 01:04:24,060
You deserve better.
1366
01:04:24,860 --> 01:04:25,860
Wait, Tom!
1367
01:04:26,610 --> 01:04:27,780
[grunts]
1368
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:38,310
[groans]
1369
01:04:38,510 --> 01:04:39,810
Uh... Oh, hey.
1370
01:04:40,010 --> 01:04:41,190
Hey, pirates!
1371
01:04:41,390 --> 01:04:43,650
I'm Tom, the groom you
guys have been looking for,
1372
01:04:43,850 --> 01:04:44,906
and I am officially
surrendering.
1373
01:04:44,930 --> 01:04:45,996
- [pirate 2] Shut up!
- [Tom] All right.
1374
01:04:46,020 --> 01:04:47,416
What, you don't like
to be called "pirates"?
1375
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:50,480
I wanted to be a pirate when I was a
kid, and you guys are actually doin' it.
1376
01:04:50,650 --> 01:04:52,126
- [pirate 2] Move.
- [Tom] You're livin' the dream.
1377
01:04:52,150 --> 01:04:53,150
Congratulations.
1378
01:04:53,510 --> 01:04:56,330
They didn't kill
him. Oh, my God.
1379
01:04:56,530 --> 01:04:57,680
He's still alive.
1380
01:04:59,770 --> 01:05:00,770
[pirate 2] Go!
1381
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:03,730
Keep going. Just move.
1382
01:05:05,900 --> 01:05:08,260
[Carol] Tommy. Oh, my
God. It's Tommy. Tommy!
1383
01:05:08,460 --> 01:05:10,090
- [all clamoring]
- Shut up!
1384
01:05:10,290 --> 01:05:11,720
- Tommy, where is Darcy?
- Shut up!
1385
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:14,680
[pirate leader] Yes.
Where is your bride?
1386
01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:16,490
- I... I don't know.
- [stapler clicks]
1387
01:05:17,660 --> 01:05:19,690
Truly. Honestly.
I... I... I don't.
1388
01:05:19,890 --> 01:05:22,290
For reals. I don't... I
don't... I don't know.
1389
01:05:23,330 --> 01:05:24,730
You're a bad liar.
1390
01:05:24,930 --> 01:05:26,360
Yeah, he is a bad liar.
1391
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:29,360
Tom, if you know something, the
best thing you can do is cooperate.
1392
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:31,090
All they want is the money.
1393
01:05:32,130 --> 01:05:35,540
You know what? Thank you, Sean, as
always, for being the voice of reason.
1394
01:05:35,740 --> 01:05:36,740
Enough!
1395
01:05:36,820 --> 01:05:37,960
- [guns cock]
- [guests gasp]
1396
01:05:38,150 --> 01:05:40,270
- Okay, fine!
- [Larry] Okay.
1397
01:05:41,220 --> 01:05:42,640
I'll tell you where she is.
1398
01:05:43,850 --> 01:05:45,850
[tense music playing]
1399
01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:49,630
[whispers] Katuk kak ci.
1400
01:05:49,830 --> 01:05:50,856
- [pirate leader] What?
- [grunts]
1401
01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:52,050
[guests exclaim]
1402
01:05:52,250 --> 01:05:53,650
Holy shit. What
did you say to him?
1403
01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:55,276
[Tom] It's kind of
an inside joke, Sean.
1404
01:05:55,300 --> 01:05:56,776
Can you give me a hand?
I'm a little woozy.
1405
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:58,390
[Sean] 'Course, man.
Here, I got you.
1406
01:05:58,590 --> 01:06:00,890
- Whoa, whoa! Whoa!
- [all screaming]
1407
01:06:01,090 --> 01:06:03,230
- [gun cocks]
- What the hell are you doing?
1408
01:06:03,430 --> 01:06:05,350
Don't move or I swear to
God, you'll lose an eye.
1409
01:06:05,470 --> 01:06:06,530
Tommy, what are you doing?
1410
01:06:06,730 --> 01:06:08,366
Are you gonna spill
the beans or should I?
1411
01:06:08,390 --> 01:06:09,390
What beans?
1412
01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:10,820
[crying] Just spill the beans.
1413
01:06:11,020 --> 01:06:12,490
Sean hired these guys
1414
01:06:12,690 --> 01:06:15,090
to invade our wedding
to take Robert's money!
1415
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:17,200
[Sean] Whoa. No,
no, no, no, Tom.
1416
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:18,400
No, it's true.
1417
01:06:18,570 --> 01:06:20,910
[Sean] That is a
serious accusation,
1418
01:06:21,110 --> 01:06:22,370
but it's okay,
1419
01:06:22,570 --> 01:06:24,670
'cause jealousy can get
the best of any of us.
1420
01:06:24,870 --> 01:06:26,250
Oh, no, no, no. I'm not jealous.
1421
01:06:26,450 --> 01:06:27,846
- [guests murmur]
- [Renata] Kind of.
1422
01:06:27,870 --> 01:06:30,510
It is completely normal for
you to see me as a threat
1423
01:06:30,710 --> 01:06:31,930
because Deedee and I
1424
01:06:32,130 --> 01:06:33,800
- had something transcendent.
- [scoffs]
1425
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,060
But I am not a bad guy.
1426
01:06:36,250 --> 01:06:38,446
And I definitely don't have
anything to do with these pirates.
1427
01:06:38,470 --> 01:06:42,310
Oh, yeah? Then why did he deck me when
I told him to go fuck his grandpa?
1428
01:06:42,510 --> 01:06:44,400
Just listen. Listen to yourself.
1429
01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:46,650
I said it in Balinese.
These guys are not local.
1430
01:06:46,850 --> 01:06:48,030
They're from Bali.
1431
01:06:48,220 --> 01:06:51,110
Margy said the local pirates
just looted and left last time.
1432
01:06:51,310 --> 01:06:52,700
It took 'em, like, 20 minutes.
1433
01:06:52,900 --> 01:06:54,200
Oh, God. "Last time"?
1434
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:56,376
We were clearly targeted.
This whole thing was planned.
1435
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:59,080
They knew about Robert's money.
1436
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,500
And none of it made
sense until I found this.
1437
01:07:02,700 --> 01:07:04,270
[Sean grunting]
1438
01:07:06,100 --> 01:07:07,630
Ricky, grab my...
Grab the... the...
1439
01:07:07,830 --> 01:07:09,386
- [Ricky] Yeah, yeah.
- In my front pocket. Grab...
1440
01:07:09,410 --> 01:07:10,596
There's an envelope
in my front pocket.
1441
01:07:10,620 --> 01:07:12,650
- [all exclaiming]
- Just grab it!
1442
01:07:13,110 --> 01:07:14,110
There you go.
1443
01:07:14,290 --> 01:07:15,690
A-ha!
1444
01:07:16,110 --> 01:07:17,476
[pirate leader]
Slow, slow. Go slow.
1445
01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:18,700
[Tom laughs]
1446
01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:20,310
Your wedding invitation?
1447
01:07:20,510 --> 01:07:22,940
[Tom] Yes, but I got it
off of one of these guys.
1448
01:07:23,130 --> 01:07:25,400
Now, how did they
get that invitation?
1449
01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:27,120
- [Carol] I don't know.
- [Larry] Uh...
1450
01:07:27,260 --> 01:07:29,580
It had to be given to
him by an invited guest.
1451
01:07:30,500 --> 01:07:33,420
Now, what invited guest
could that be? Huh?
1452
01:07:36,010 --> 01:07:37,420
Ricky, op... open it.
1453
01:07:39,220 --> 01:07:40,680
A-ha!
1454
01:07:42,140 --> 01:07:46,540
This asshat thought it was appropriate to
show up to a wedding he didn't RSVP to!
1455
01:07:46,740 --> 01:07:48,710
He didn't RSVP!
1456
01:07:48,910 --> 01:07:50,710
Mom, that's not the
main issue right now.
1457
01:07:50,910 --> 01:07:54,300
Look, I'm a mother. I can be upset
about a lot of things at the same time.
1458
01:07:54,500 --> 01:07:56,546
I think, right now, we should
be upset about one thing.
1459
01:07:56,570 --> 01:07:59,100
- Oh, okay.
- [Tom] Sean had these guys
1460
01:07:59,300 --> 01:08:01,600
crash our wedding so that he
could get a big fat ransom
1461
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:03,180
from his best friend, Robert.
1462
01:08:03,380 --> 01:08:04,910
[guests exclaiming]
1463
01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:08,060
Huh? Yeah!
1464
01:08:08,260 --> 01:08:10,150
- [Sean] Bob... Bob.
- [Tom] Yes!
1465
01:08:10,350 --> 01:08:11,670
This is because
I didn't give you
1466
01:08:11,850 --> 01:08:13,530
that investment money
you wanted, isn't it?
1467
01:08:13,690 --> 01:08:15,130
- Yeah.
- No, no, it's not like that.
1468
01:08:15,190 --> 01:08:16,910
- [exclaims in Spanish]
- How could... Papi.
1469
01:08:16,940 --> 01:08:19,490
How could you believe that I
would come here and betray ev...
1470
01:08:19,690 --> 01:08:21,170
[Tom] Believe it,
Robert. Believe it.
1471
01:08:21,970 --> 01:08:23,930
- That's right. That's right.
- Shit.
1472
01:08:24,300 --> 01:08:25,810
- [grunts]
- [all gasp]
1473
01:08:30,770 --> 01:08:31,840
[guests clamoring]
1474
01:08:32,040 --> 01:08:35,650
See? See, I told ya! I told ya!
1475
01:08:36,860 --> 01:08:41,530
[Margy] These lanterns are so
intricate. Is there a note in it?
1476
01:08:46,410 --> 01:08:48,730
"Be excellent to each other."
1477
01:08:48,930 --> 01:08:50,540
- [Ace] Hmm.
- [Margy] Hmm. Huh.
1478
01:08:53,790 --> 01:08:56,250
[wheezing cry]
1479
01:08:58,510 --> 01:09:01,510
It's from Bill and Ted's
Excellent Adventure.
1480
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:06,290
Tom wanted to put a movie quote in
each one of the lanterns, and I...
1481
01:09:06,490 --> 01:09:09,670
I thought it was
stupid, but it's not.
1482
01:09:09,870 --> 01:09:11,960
It's sweet.
1483
01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:13,960
And I messed it all up.
1484
01:09:14,160 --> 01:09:16,090
I don't know how you guys do it.
1485
01:09:16,290 --> 01:09:19,280
You must have something
really special. [sniffles]
1486
01:09:19,730 --> 01:09:22,260
- Not really.
- Oi.
1487
01:09:22,460 --> 01:09:26,140
Uh, I mean, it is special
but it is not magic.
1488
01:09:26,340 --> 01:09:28,310
We just made a vow.
1489
01:09:28,510 --> 01:09:31,060
And we've messed things
up thousands of times.
1490
01:09:31,260 --> 01:09:35,170
But when we break
something, we fix it.
1491
01:09:37,590 --> 01:09:39,340
[patting Margy]
1492
01:09:46,300 --> 01:09:48,310
[dramatic music playing]
1493
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:53,060
[Margy] Darcy, we come with
you, but we don't want to.
1494
01:09:59,730 --> 01:10:01,680
Tommy finally made
the big leagues.
1495
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:04,030
Yeah, I never heard
that one before.
1496
01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:06,110
I know you haven't.
1497
01:10:06,820 --> 01:10:09,270
- Where is she?
- I don't know.
1498
01:10:09,470 --> 01:10:11,026
I don't... I... I
don't... I don't know.
1499
01:10:11,050 --> 01:10:13,730
- You're lying.
- No, I'm... I'm... Honestly,
1500
01:10:13,930 --> 01:10:15,420
- I don't know.
- Okay.
1501
01:10:16,540 --> 01:10:18,080
- [grunts]
- [guests exclaiming]
1502
01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:20,040
God damn it!
1503
01:10:20,230 --> 01:10:21,576
- Would you stop doing that?
- [Caro] Yeah.
1504
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:24,370
- He'll do it again.
- [Tom] Fine. Fine.
1505
01:10:24,570 --> 01:10:25,570
I was lying.
1506
01:10:25,730 --> 01:10:27,410
[guests agreeing]
1507
01:10:27,610 --> 01:10:30,620
After we cut ourselves loose,
Darcy and I got into a fight.
1508
01:10:30,820 --> 01:10:33,130
She hopped in a golf cart to
go look for cell reception
1509
01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:35,880
up by the northern coast near
the cliffs, and then I...
1510
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:38,100
I came back here to
try to rescue everyone.
1511
01:10:38,650 --> 01:10:39,810
[Ricky] Come on!
1512
01:10:43,990 --> 01:10:45,140
Okay.
1513
01:10:45,340 --> 01:10:46,340
[sighs]
1514
01:10:46,820 --> 01:10:48,396
[pirate leader] We'll take
the chopper to find her.
1515
01:10:48,420 --> 01:10:49,730
I'm comin' with you.
1516
01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:51,850
I've been watching you
mess this up all day.
1517
01:10:52,050 --> 01:10:53,600
This is my show now.
1518
01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:55,200
[mouthing] Wow,
that's really good.
1519
01:10:55,260 --> 01:10:56,960
We're doing this my
way now. You got it?
1520
01:10:57,870 --> 01:10:58,960
We need collateral.
1521
01:11:00,750 --> 01:11:02,840
[unsettling music playing]
1522
01:11:09,510 --> 01:11:10,510
Get the girlfriend.
1523
01:11:10,650 --> 01:11:12,830
- [all clamoring]
- [pirate 1] Hey. Come.
1524
01:11:13,030 --> 01:11:14,880
- Here. Move!
- Ow! Hey.
1525
01:11:15,070 --> 01:11:16,500
Oh, no.
1526
01:11:16,700 --> 01:11:18,630
- [pirate 1] Go. Move!
- Please, I'm a Gemini.
1527
01:11:18,830 --> 01:11:20,480
I bruise easily.
1528
01:11:21,440 --> 01:11:22,896
- [pirate 1] Go!
- [Harriett] Ow! Ow! Ow!
1529
01:11:22,920 --> 01:11:24,650
- Oh, my God!
- [Sean] Robert? Robert!
1530
01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:27,550
When I get back, that money
better be in my account.
1531
01:11:27,750 --> 01:11:29,310
And if it's not, she's dead.
1532
01:11:29,510 --> 01:11:31,370
And I treated you
just like a son.
1533
01:11:32,030 --> 01:11:33,890
- You're stuck with Tommy now.
- Robert.
1534
01:11:34,090 --> 01:11:36,190
- Well, what's wrong with that?
- Fuck off.
1535
01:11:36,390 --> 01:11:39,000
- [dramatic music playing]
- [imperceptible]
1536
01:11:46,050 --> 01:11:47,340
[soft thud]
1537
01:11:49,340 --> 01:11:50,550
[thud]
1538
01:11:52,930 --> 01:11:54,260
[pirates chattering]
1539
01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:56,890
[indistinct chatter]
1540
01:11:58,480 --> 01:12:00,400
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1541
01:12:01,770 --> 01:12:03,610
- [cocks gun]
- [all exclaiming]
1542
01:12:04,440 --> 01:12:05,440
Darcy...
1543
01:12:05,630 --> 01:12:10,310
Tom, you promised you wouldn't
leave my side this weekend.
1544
01:12:10,510 --> 01:12:11,870
Darcy, what are you doing?
1545
01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:13,450
Tom, listen.
1546
01:12:13,950 --> 01:12:16,480
I'm still mad at you for
picking this pirate island,
1547
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:19,210
but I messed up too. I
should've told you...
1548
01:12:20,500 --> 01:12:22,420
how scared I was to get married.
1549
01:12:23,170 --> 01:12:24,440
That wasn't fair.
1550
01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:26,536
You worked so hard on this
pirate island wedding.
1551
01:12:26,560 --> 01:12:28,450
Okay, no, no, no. Please
stop calling it that.
1552
01:12:28,650 --> 01:12:30,880
I just worried that
if I told you...
1553
01:12:33,510 --> 01:12:34,930
that I would lose you.
1554
01:12:38,480 --> 01:12:40,600
And I can't lose you.
1555
01:12:43,190 --> 01:12:44,440
I need you.
1556
01:12:48,530 --> 01:12:49,740
Okay?
1557
01:12:53,410 --> 01:12:54,410
[shouts] Okay?
1558
01:12:54,550 --> 01:12:55,350
- [all clamor]
- Okay.
1559
01:12:55,550 --> 01:12:57,020
- Okay.
- [Tom] Okay.
1560
01:12:57,220 --> 01:12:59,150
This is so much better
than South Pacific.
1561
01:12:59,350 --> 01:13:00,750
And Mom, Dad?
1562
01:13:01,290 --> 01:13:03,110
- [all exclaiming]
- [Jamie screams]
1563
01:13:03,310 --> 01:13:04,310
Whoa!
1564
01:13:04,390 --> 01:13:05,496
- [Ricky] Babe.
- What the fuck?
1565
01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:06,520
Did you just shoot me?
1566
01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:08,610
Stop shooting your sister!
1567
01:13:08,810 --> 01:13:11,090
I didn't mean to. It
was a mistake. I...
1568
01:13:11,880 --> 01:13:13,380
[all gasp]
1569
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:16,330
Mom, Dad, apologize to Tom.
1570
01:13:16,530 --> 01:13:17,960
- What? Why?
- What?
1571
01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:20,580
For criticizing this beautiful
wedding that he planned,
1572
01:13:20,780 --> 01:13:23,590
and for never making him
feel welcome in our family.
1573
01:13:23,790 --> 01:13:25,670
And for inviting
Sean to our wedding.
1574
01:13:25,870 --> 01:13:27,550
Okay, honey, but I think there's
1575
01:13:27,750 --> 01:13:29,270
- a more pressing issue...
- Apologize!
1576
01:13:29,420 --> 01:13:31,340
- [all exclaiming]
- He is the best person
1577
01:13:31,540 --> 01:13:32,540
that I know.
1578
01:13:32,630 --> 01:13:34,510
And if you say one more
bad thing about him,
1579
01:13:34,710 --> 01:13:36,990
I swear I will shoot
you like I shot Jamie.
1580
01:13:38,700 --> 01:13:39,700
Tom, I'm sorry. Sorry.
1581
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:41,116
- Tom, sorry. Sorry.
- We love you.
1582
01:13:41,140 --> 01:13:42,286
- Oh, hey, it's fine.
- You're the best person
1583
01:13:42,310 --> 01:13:43,616
- I've ever met.
- [Tom] It's okay. I love you.
1584
01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:44,946
- We love you like family.
- I love you, too.
1585
01:13:44,970 --> 01:13:46,866
- All right. It's all good.
- I love this place. Beautiful.
1586
01:13:46,890 --> 01:13:48,030
And, Carol, Larry...
1587
01:13:48,230 --> 01:13:49,576
- [all gasp]
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
1588
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:53,330
This was more about me and my family,
but we should get lunch sometime.
1589
01:13:53,520 --> 01:13:54,520
- I would...
- Oh, yeah,
1590
01:13:54,610 --> 01:13:56,086
- lunch sounds great. Yeah.
- We love eating.
1591
01:13:56,110 --> 01:13:58,350
It's hard for anyone to live
up to your perfect marriage.
1592
01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:00,370
[chuckles] Who told you
we had a perfect marriage?
1593
01:14:00,570 --> 01:14:02,710
Oh, come on, Mom. You
guys fought, like, once.
1594
01:14:02,910 --> 01:14:04,266
It was about who
loved the dog more.
1595
01:14:04,290 --> 01:14:06,350
I mean, what is not perfect
about your marriage?
1596
01:14:06,980 --> 01:14:09,930
Well, I made love
to your Aunt Marie.
1597
01:14:10,120 --> 01:14:11,436
- [all exclaiming]
- [Ricky] What?
1598
01:14:11,460 --> 01:14:12,976
- [Larry] Yeah.
- [Carol] Then I went out
1599
01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:14,680
and started doing all
this weird sex stuff
1600
01:14:14,750 --> 01:14:15,810
with Jim Roberts.
1601
01:14:16,010 --> 01:14:17,316
[Larry] Yeah. You
and Jim Roberts
1602
01:14:17,340 --> 01:14:19,100
- went on for a couple months.
- [Carol] Yes.
1603
01:14:19,220 --> 01:14:21,650
- Because our bodies just fit.
- [man] Holy...
1604
01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:24,400
[Carol] In the end, Jim
Roberts just wasn't your dad.
1605
01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:26,790
And Aunt Marie realized that
she had a sex addiction.
1606
01:14:27,460 --> 01:14:30,210
But then you know
what? We worked it out.
1607
01:14:33,170 --> 01:14:34,870
These are some
incredible breakthroughs,
1608
01:14:35,070 --> 01:14:36,456
- right? I mean...
- [pirate 2] Give me that!
1609
01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:37,480
[all screaming]
1610
01:14:37,570 --> 01:14:38,750
You remember me, huh?
1611
01:14:38,950 --> 01:14:40,790
Look, you burn my face. Huh?
1612
01:14:40,990 --> 01:14:42,870
Yes, I know. I still feel
really bad about that.
1613
01:14:46,020 --> 01:14:47,920
Everybody, in the pool! Now!
1614
01:14:48,120 --> 01:14:50,220
- [fires gun]
- [all screaming]
1615
01:14:50,410 --> 01:14:52,110
Get in the pool! In!
1616
01:14:52,940 --> 01:14:54,400
Go! Go!
1617
01:14:54,940 --> 01:14:56,610
[Tom panting]
1618
01:14:57,570 --> 01:14:59,140
- Hey, you okay?
- Yes.
1619
01:14:59,340 --> 01:15:00,950
- Yeah?
- Are we missing people?
1620
01:15:01,450 --> 01:15:03,910
Yeah. Turns out your
boy Sean's an asshole.
1621
01:15:05,790 --> 01:15:06,790
We have the bride.
1622
01:15:06,970 --> 01:15:08,890
- [helicopter whirring]
- [on radio] Do you copy?
1623
01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:11,340
Do you copy?
1624
01:15:16,880 --> 01:15:18,240
Up! Up!
1625
01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:20,450
- [indistinct talking]
- Listen to me. Move.
1626
01:15:20,650 --> 01:15:23,420
Balinese? So these
guys are Balinese?
1627
01:15:23,610 --> 01:15:26,330
And Sean is full of shit, and
they took Harriett hostage?
1628
01:15:26,530 --> 01:15:27,530
It doesn't make sense.
1629
01:15:27,660 --> 01:15:29,800
Why would Sean take Harriett
hostage on the helicopter
1630
01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:31,760
when she was already
being held hostage here?
1631
01:15:31,910 --> 01:15:34,340
I don't know. Maybe he wanted
to take her extra hostage.
1632
01:15:34,540 --> 01:15:36,360
[Larry] I think
Harriett is in on it.
1633
01:15:36,820 --> 01:15:39,410
- [Tom] What?
- [Darcy] What do you mean?
1634
01:15:44,990 --> 01:15:46,910
Harriett and Sean...
1635
01:15:47,960 --> 01:15:49,190
are boyfriend-girlfriend.
1636
01:15:49,390 --> 01:15:50,870
- Oh, come on.
- Boyfriend-girlfriend?
1637
01:15:50,930 --> 01:15:52,250
[Larry] No, no. Look.
1638
01:15:52,920 --> 01:15:54,570
This is from last night.
1639
01:15:54,770 --> 01:15:56,570
Here we go. [grunts]
1640
01:15:56,770 --> 01:15:57,990
[Latin dance music playing]
1641
01:15:58,190 --> 01:15:59,700
Let's see.
1642
01:15:59,900 --> 01:16:02,680
Uh, hold on. Let me find it.
1643
01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:05,370
Oh. Oh, boy.
1644
01:16:05,570 --> 01:16:07,100
Yeah. There you go.
1645
01:16:08,270 --> 01:16:09,980
[all exclaim]
1646
01:16:15,690 --> 01:16:17,680
What? Go ahead. Say it.
1647
01:16:17,880 --> 01:16:18,900
Roberto...
1648
01:16:22,820 --> 01:16:24,530
Lo siento.
1649
01:16:27,040 --> 01:16:28,290
Gracias.
1650
01:16:29,580 --> 01:16:30,920
De nada.
1651
01:16:32,420 --> 01:16:34,740
[dramatic music playing]
1652
01:16:34,940 --> 01:16:36,050
[pirate leader] There!
1653
01:16:42,180 --> 01:16:45,410
Sean, you promised this
job would make us rich.
1654
01:16:45,610 --> 01:16:47,710
So far, all it's done is
killed four of my men.
1655
01:16:47,910 --> 01:16:49,210
Man, you know we can fix this.
1656
01:16:49,410 --> 01:16:51,880
Deal is off. I keep the money.
1657
01:16:52,080 --> 01:16:54,090
You walk away with your life.
1658
01:16:54,290 --> 01:16:56,720
I don't wanna hear it. You
and I had an arrangement.
1659
01:16:56,920 --> 01:16:59,180
Sean, be reasonable.
He saved us.
1660
01:16:59,380 --> 01:17:01,316
- We're lucky to be alive.
- What are you talking about?
1661
01:17:01,340 --> 01:17:03,470
Listen to your woman.
1662
01:17:03,670 --> 01:17:04,980
- [yelps]
- Oh.
1663
01:17:05,170 --> 01:17:07,740
It's okay. It's just a
pressure point. Relax.
1664
01:17:08,290 --> 01:17:10,000
Just breathe into it.
1665
01:17:10,750 --> 01:17:11,870
What?
1666
01:17:13,500 --> 01:17:14,580
What?
1667
01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:16,440
Take us back down.
1668
01:17:16,640 --> 01:17:18,740
We'll finish the job ourselves.
1669
01:17:18,940 --> 01:17:20,420
- Babe.
- What?
1670
01:17:21,630 --> 01:17:23,830
- Excellent idea.
- Yeah, I know.
1671
01:17:24,030 --> 01:17:26,510
[screams] I have to
do everything myself!
1672
01:17:29,310 --> 01:17:31,460
What are we gonna do?
They'll be back any minute.
1673
01:17:31,660 --> 01:17:33,520
- Just...
- [pirate 2] Hey, hey, hey!
1674
01:17:34,190 --> 01:17:36,860
No whispers. Or I throw
grenade in the pool.
1675
01:17:42,950 --> 01:17:43,950
[whispering] Okay.
1676
01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,930
Go with me, okay?
1677
01:17:47,130 --> 01:17:48,280
Just go with me.
1678
01:17:48,990 --> 01:17:50,330
[in normal tone] Hey, everybody.
1679
01:17:51,540 --> 01:17:53,620
Look, I know this may
not be the best time,
1680
01:17:54,830 --> 01:17:57,210
but this may be our only
chance to have our wedding.
1681
01:17:59,000 --> 01:18:00,210
What do you say, Darcy?
1682
01:18:01,420 --> 01:18:02,870
Yeah, I... I love it.
1683
01:18:03,070 --> 01:18:06,470
Can... Can we do bride's side on
the left and groom's on the right?
1684
01:18:10,100 --> 01:18:11,420
[all agreeing]
1685
01:18:11,620 --> 01:18:13,060
Hey, Margy, will you officiate?
1686
01:18:14,020 --> 01:18:16,250
[pirate 2] Hey, will you
stop? Stop it! Stop it now!
1687
01:18:16,450 --> 01:18:17,710
[Robert] Wait, wait. If...
1688
01:18:17,910 --> 01:18:21,190
If you let my daughter have her
wedding, I'll... I'll release the funds.
1689
01:18:28,200 --> 01:18:29,580
Okay, let's go.
1690
01:18:36,790 --> 01:18:38,040
Let's go.
1691
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:40,040
Thanks, Dad.
1692
01:18:40,550 --> 01:18:41,650
It's okay, princess.
1693
01:18:41,850 --> 01:18:44,090
There are some things that
are more important than money.
1694
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:46,970
I don't know what they
are, but I think, uh...
1695
01:18:58,980 --> 01:18:59,980
[Darcy sighs]
1696
01:19:00,120 --> 01:19:01,650
Hope you know what you're doing.
1697
01:19:07,860 --> 01:19:09,990
[Carol hums]
1698
01:19:15,120 --> 01:19:17,610
♪ The strands in your eyes ♪
1699
01:19:17,810 --> 01:19:20,530
♪ They color them wonderful ♪
1700
01:19:20,730 --> 01:19:24,880
♪ Stops me And
steals my breath ♪
1701
01:19:25,550 --> 01:19:27,970
[both] ♪ Emeralds
from mountains ♪
1702
01:19:28,220 --> 01:19:30,580
♪ Thrust from the sky ♪
1703
01:19:30,780 --> 01:19:34,720
♪ Never revealing their depth ♪
1704
01:19:35,310 --> 01:19:37,140
♪ And tell me ♪
1705
01:19:37,640 --> 01:19:40,420
♪ We belong together ♪
1706
01:19:40,620 --> 01:19:44,930
♪ Dress it up with the
trappings of love ♪
1707
01:19:45,130 --> 01:19:47,510
♪ I'll be captivated ♪
1708
01:19:47,710 --> 01:19:50,220
♪ I'll hang from your lips ♪
1709
01:19:50,420 --> 01:19:52,520
♪ Instead of the gallows ♪
1710
01:19:52,720 --> 01:19:58,020
♪ Of heartaches That
hang from above ♪
1711
01:19:58,220 --> 01:20:03,610
♪ And I'll be your
cryin' shoulder ♪
1712
01:20:03,810 --> 01:20:08,160
♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪
1713
01:20:08,360 --> 01:20:14,000
♪ And I'll be better
When I'm older ♪
1714
01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:18,960
♪ I'll be the greatest
fan of your life ♪
1715
01:20:19,160 --> 01:20:24,170
♪ And I'll be your
cryin' shoulder ♪
1716
01:20:24,370 --> 01:20:28,970
♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪
1717
01:20:29,170 --> 01:20:31,890
- ♪ And I'll be ♪
- [Renata] ♪ I'll be ♪
1718
01:20:32,090 --> 01:20:34,430
♪ Better when I'm older ♪
1719
01:20:34,630 --> 01:20:39,900
♪ I'll be the greatest
fan of your life ♪
1720
01:20:40,100 --> 01:20:41,110
♪ I'll be ♪
1721
01:20:41,310 --> 01:20:42,880
[clamoring]
1722
01:20:43,420 --> 01:20:45,090
[Carol screaming]
1723
01:20:45,840 --> 01:20:48,030
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- [cocks gun]
1724
01:20:48,230 --> 01:20:49,630
I think you'd regret that.
1725
01:20:51,430 --> 01:20:53,010
[all gasp]
1726
01:20:53,970 --> 01:20:55,540
[pirate 2] Oh! No, no. Stop.
1727
01:20:55,740 --> 01:20:56,820
I'm fairly new to grenades.
1728
01:20:56,910 --> 01:21:00,670
But I'm pretty sure that if you shoot
me, this springy thing pops off,
1729
01:21:00,870 --> 01:21:02,630
and then this thing
blows us all away.
1730
01:21:02,830 --> 01:21:04,136
- Ain't that right, babe?
- That's right, baby.
1731
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,230
- [pirate 2] No, no, no.
- [woman] What the...
1732
01:21:06,730 --> 01:21:07,820
Drop the guns.
1733
01:21:10,320 --> 01:21:11,760
- [pirate 2] No.
- [grunts]
1734
01:21:11,960 --> 01:21:14,030
[all screaming and clamoring]
1735
01:21:22,790 --> 01:21:23,860
[muffled screaming]
1736
01:21:24,060 --> 01:21:25,740
I can't throw that far.
It won't reach him.
1737
01:21:27,380 --> 01:21:28,400
[cocks gun]
1738
01:21:28,600 --> 01:21:30,570
Nobody fucks with my family.
1739
01:21:30,770 --> 01:21:33,090
[rock music playing]
1740
01:21:43,310 --> 01:21:45,400
Darcy? Give me a meatball.
1741
01:21:45,690 --> 01:21:46,860
- [gun clicks]
- Shit.
1742
01:21:50,030 --> 01:21:51,650
[all exclaim]
1743
01:21:53,570 --> 01:21:55,470
[all exclaiming]
1744
01:21:55,670 --> 01:21:57,660
[fireworks whistling]
1745
01:22:02,910 --> 01:22:04,190
I know where to go!
1746
01:22:04,390 --> 01:22:06,150
Let's get moving!
Out of the pool!
1747
01:22:06,350 --> 01:22:07,706
- [Tom] Yeah!
- Come on! Come, come, come!
1748
01:22:07,730 --> 01:22:09,210
[Darcy] Get out of
the pool! Come on!
1749
01:22:11,590 --> 01:22:13,950
- [Tom] Yeah, let's go.
- [Ace] Margy! The spa!
1750
01:22:14,150 --> 01:22:15,490
[Darcy] It's safe in the spa!
1751
01:22:15,690 --> 01:22:17,966
[Harriett] They should've been
killing hostages every hour.
1752
01:22:17,990 --> 01:22:20,290
Killing people works, Sean.
1753
01:22:20,490 --> 01:22:21,920
- Fuck.
- Look, give me one chance
1754
01:22:22,120 --> 01:22:23,120
to convince Darcy.
1755
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:25,560
- All right? One.
- Fine. One chance.
1756
01:22:27,310 --> 01:22:28,860
Thank you, baby.
1757
01:22:29,860 --> 01:22:32,070
This is not a moment
right now, Sean.
1758
01:22:34,030 --> 01:22:36,160
- Move, come on! Come on!
- [pirate] All right!
1759
01:22:37,370 --> 01:22:40,230
Mom! Mom, we're
gonna go get help.
1760
01:22:40,430 --> 01:22:42,370
I need you to take care
of them. Can you do that?
1761
01:22:45,120 --> 01:22:46,460
And Carol...
1762
01:22:47,710 --> 01:22:49,420
thank you for the cake knife.
1763
01:22:50,710 --> 01:22:52,450
I fucking love this cake knife.
1764
01:22:52,650 --> 01:22:54,300
[Carol chuckles]
1765
01:22:59,260 --> 01:23:01,720
["No ordinary" by
Labrinth playing]
1766
01:23:04,180 --> 01:23:06,520
It's just you and
me now. Let's go.
1767
01:23:07,980 --> 01:23:09,230
♪ Yeah ♪
1768
01:23:10,730 --> 01:23:17,700
♪ Yeah, me in awe of you now ♪
1769
01:23:19,320 --> 01:23:20,660
♪ Hmm ♪
1770
01:23:22,080 --> 01:23:24,900
- ♪ This song call ♪
- ♪ Unconditional ♪
1771
01:23:25,100 --> 01:23:28,480
- ♪ This show no devotion ♪
- ♪ Devotion ♪
1772
01:23:28,680 --> 01:23:31,400
♪ Got my heart so wide open ♪
1773
01:23:31,600 --> 01:23:33,240
♪ Lifting my spirit
Like a Holy Ghost ♪
1774
01:23:33,440 --> 01:23:36,120
- ♪ All this ♪
- ♪ All this love, love ♪
1775
01:23:36,320 --> 01:23:40,180
- ♪ No ordinary love ♪
- ♪ Ordinary love ♪
1776
01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:43,390
♪ Yeah ♪
1777
01:23:45,390 --> 01:23:46,750
♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪
1778
01:23:46,950 --> 01:23:47,960
[phone camera clicks]
1779
01:23:48,160 --> 01:23:50,840
♪ Ah, la, la, la,
la La-la-la-la ♪
1780
01:23:51,040 --> 01:23:52,970
♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪
1781
01:23:53,170 --> 01:23:56,430
♪ La, la, la, la
La-la-la-la-love ♪
1782
01:23:56,630 --> 01:23:58,930
♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪
1783
01:23:59,130 --> 01:24:02,030
♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪
1784
01:24:03,330 --> 01:24:05,290
[imperceptible]
1785
01:24:17,420 --> 01:24:20,300
♪ I need you in my arm ♪
1786
01:24:20,630 --> 01:24:22,050
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
1787
01:24:24,140 --> 01:24:25,260
♪ Hey ♪
1788
01:24:30,020 --> 01:24:36,630
♪ All this no ordinary love ♪
1789
01:24:36,830 --> 01:24:38,390
♪ Love, love, love, love ♪
1790
01:24:38,590 --> 01:24:39,780
♪ Yeah ♪
1791
01:24:43,160 --> 01:24:45,200
[Tom] Hey, wasn't this the
plan with too many steps?
1792
01:24:54,920 --> 01:24:56,250
You did this for me?
1793
01:24:57,760 --> 01:24:59,030
[Tom] Is this what you wanted?
1794
01:24:59,230 --> 01:25:00,910
Just you and me in the
middle of the ocean?
1795
01:25:03,590 --> 01:25:06,000
Darcy, I'm sorry I
stopped listening to you.
1796
01:25:06,200 --> 01:25:08,280
I just thought that if I
planned the perfect wedding,
1797
01:25:08,410 --> 01:25:10,270
we could have the
perfect marriage, but...
1798
01:25:11,060 --> 01:25:12,440
But that doesn't exist.
1799
01:25:13,060 --> 01:25:14,670
I mean, look at my parents.
1800
01:25:14,870 --> 01:25:16,980
My Aunt Marie, the sex addict.
1801
01:25:18,360 --> 01:25:21,610
I just wanna be with you.
All that matters is you.
1802
01:25:22,360 --> 01:25:23,780
We don't ever have
to get married.
1803
01:25:25,490 --> 01:25:27,410
And if we survive this
thing, can we just...
1804
01:25:28,950 --> 01:25:30,200
Can we start over?
1805
01:25:32,500 --> 01:25:33,870
- [gunshots]
- [Darcy screams]
1806
01:25:36,170 --> 01:25:37,500
[Tom] Go, go, go, go.
1807
01:25:37,920 --> 01:25:39,760
[Sean] Deedee, listen to me!
1808
01:25:40,420 --> 01:25:43,200
Deedee, this is a huge
misunderstanding, all right?
1809
01:25:43,400 --> 01:25:47,710
Let's go back to the resort, talk
this over. I do not want to hurt you.
1810
01:25:47,910 --> 01:25:49,330
Then stop shooting
at us, asshole!
1811
01:25:49,530 --> 01:25:51,330
And stop calling her Deedee!
1812
01:25:51,530 --> 01:25:53,060
- [Darcy] Fuck!
- Oh, Jesus!
1813
01:25:54,270 --> 01:25:55,730
This thing is awful!
1814
01:25:56,360 --> 01:25:57,900
[screaming] Yeah!
1815
01:25:58,230 --> 01:26:00,900
Asshole! Fuckin'
leave! What the fuck?
1816
01:26:02,490 --> 01:26:05,530
God, I can't believe you, Sean! When
did you turn into such a monster?
1817
01:26:06,160 --> 01:26:07,560
[Sean] I am not a monster!
1818
01:26:07,760 --> 01:26:09,020
I'm an entrepreneur!
1819
01:26:09,220 --> 01:26:10,560
I think I'm out of ammo.
1820
01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:12,080
- Are you sure?
- Not at all.
1821
01:26:12,540 --> 01:26:13,620
Hey.
1822
01:26:18,750 --> 01:26:19,996
- Yeah.
- [Sean] I don't wanna do this.
1823
01:26:20,020 --> 01:26:21,416
- [gunshot]
- I'm a good guy, damn it!
1824
01:26:21,440 --> 01:26:22,820
[gunshots]
1825
01:26:23,020 --> 01:26:24,380
- [gun clicking]
- Shit.
1826
01:26:24,970 --> 01:26:26,330
[Sean] Your boat's dead.
1827
01:26:26,530 --> 01:26:29,870
We're both out of ammo. Let's just go
back and we can work this whole thing out.
1828
01:26:30,070 --> 01:26:31,390
[breathing heavily]
1829
01:26:34,520 --> 01:26:35,520
[grunts]
1830
01:26:35,700 --> 01:26:37,350
[both grunting]
1831
01:26:37,940 --> 01:26:39,630
[engine starts]
1832
01:26:39,830 --> 01:26:40,930
[Darcy] Tom!
1833
01:26:41,120 --> 01:26:42,280
[Tom grunts]
1834
01:26:44,450 --> 01:26:45,530
[Tom] Go, go!
1835
01:26:47,070 --> 01:26:49,160
[tense music playing]
1836
01:26:52,490 --> 01:26:53,540
[Sean yells]
1837
01:26:56,420 --> 01:26:58,460
[helicopter whirring]
1838
01:26:59,630 --> 01:27:01,630
[intense music playing]
1839
01:27:21,520 --> 01:27:23,320
Darcy, turn this boat
around right now.
1840
01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:25,740
[Darcy] No.
1841
01:27:28,450 --> 01:27:31,060
You're a piece of shit, Sean,
but I know you can't kill me.
1842
01:27:31,260 --> 01:27:32,260
You're right.
1843
01:27:32,740 --> 01:27:34,620
But I would love
to kill this guy.
1844
01:27:35,120 --> 01:27:37,770
You just keep messing things
up, man. This is on you.
1845
01:27:37,970 --> 01:27:40,880
I don't wanna do
this. I'm a good guy.
1846
01:27:41,960 --> 01:27:43,300
No, you're not.
1847
01:27:44,090 --> 01:27:46,170
All right, you're
right. I'm not.
1848
01:27:46,670 --> 01:27:47,740
[Darcy shrieks]
1849
01:27:47,940 --> 01:27:49,050
[Tom gasps]
1850
01:27:49,510 --> 01:27:50,830
- [engine revs]
- [Sean screams]
1851
01:27:51,030 --> 01:27:53,060
[music continues]
1852
01:27:54,010 --> 01:27:55,560
[both grunting]
1853
01:27:58,060 --> 01:27:59,060
[whimpers]
1854
01:28:00,980 --> 01:28:02,150
Sean!
1855
01:28:04,980 --> 01:28:06,440
[grunting continues]
1856
01:28:08,280 --> 01:28:09,970
You were a pity invite!
1857
01:28:10,170 --> 01:28:11,390
- [Darcy grunts]
- Shit!
1858
01:28:11,590 --> 01:28:13,280
Whoa! Whoa!
1859
01:28:19,580 --> 01:28:21,320
No! Fuck!
1860
01:28:21,520 --> 01:28:22,820
[groans]
1861
01:28:23,020 --> 01:28:24,670
[Sean and Tom grunting]
1862
01:28:28,050 --> 01:28:29,090
[Tom screams]
1863
01:28:33,890 --> 01:28:34,930
[yelps]
1864
01:28:40,190 --> 01:28:41,190
- [gunshot]
- [yelps]
1865
01:28:46,730 --> 01:28:48,510
Is that a wad of loose hair?
1866
01:28:48,710 --> 01:28:50,100
[Tom] Custom-made hair!
1867
01:28:50,300 --> 01:28:51,760
[Tom grunts]
1868
01:28:51,960 --> 01:28:53,870
[heroic music playing]
1869
01:28:55,660 --> 01:28:56,910
[gasps]
1870
01:29:03,920 --> 01:29:05,000
[Tom laughs]
1871
01:29:06,300 --> 01:29:07,990
[intense music playing]
1872
01:29:08,190 --> 01:29:09,190
- Get down!
- [screams]
1873
01:29:14,220 --> 01:29:15,390
Oh, frick.
1874
01:29:15,970 --> 01:29:17,350
[Sean screams]
1875
01:29:23,850 --> 01:29:24,860
[Tom] Hold on.
1876
01:29:30,690 --> 01:29:32,530
Oh, shit.
1877
01:29:34,780 --> 01:29:35,990
[Darcy shrieks]
1878
01:29:36,780 --> 01:29:38,370
[engine whines]
1879
01:29:44,670 --> 01:29:45,880
[Darcy gasps]
1880
01:29:47,420 --> 01:29:48,800
Holy shit.
1881
01:29:54,340 --> 01:29:56,760
["No ordinary" by
Labrinth playing]
1882
01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:24,710
So when I asked you before
1883
01:30:26,290 --> 01:30:27,500
if we could start over...
1884
01:30:30,340 --> 01:30:31,880
I don't wanna start over.
1885
01:30:43,230 --> 01:30:44,810
I wanna keep going.
1886
01:30:45,640 --> 01:30:47,650
[tender music playing]
1887
01:30:59,280 --> 01:31:00,740
Tom Fowler,
1888
01:31:01,790 --> 01:31:03,250
will you marry me?
1889
01:31:09,790 --> 01:31:11,000
Are you sure?
1890
01:31:12,920 --> 01:31:14,050
You're not scared?
1891
01:31:16,010 --> 01:31:17,890
I'm terrified.
[breath trembling]
1892
01:31:19,140 --> 01:31:21,970
Life is always gonna be chaotic.
1893
01:31:23,930 --> 01:31:25,680
But what I know for sure...
1894
01:31:27,480 --> 01:31:30,150
is that I wanna go through
all of it with you.
1895
01:31:32,900 --> 01:31:34,940
It's simple, really. [sniffles]
1896
01:31:37,070 --> 01:31:38,700
Just a plan with one step.
1897
01:31:48,460 --> 01:31:49,540
Still fits.
1898
01:31:55,880 --> 01:31:58,090
[sentimental music playing]
1899
01:32:09,650 --> 01:32:11,440
[Jamie softly] Stop. Be quiet.
1900
01:32:31,290 --> 01:32:32,920
[cheering and applauding]
1901
01:32:33,460 --> 01:32:35,740
- [firework exploding]
- [all screaming]
1902
01:32:35,940 --> 01:32:38,030
Shit! Sorry! Sorry!
1903
01:32:38,230 --> 01:32:39,780
There was one firework left
1904
01:32:39,980 --> 01:32:42,086
and I thought it would be fun,
and beautiful, and poignant,
1905
01:32:42,110 --> 01:32:43,710
- but it was absolutely not!
- [laughing]
1906
01:32:43,820 --> 01:32:45,100
- [Margy laughs]
- Come here.
1907
01:32:46,220 --> 01:32:48,600
[intro to "Walk Like
An Egyptian" playing]
1908
01:32:54,150 --> 01:32:55,900
[fast-forwarding]
1909
01:32:59,950 --> 01:33:02,350
♪ All the old
paintings On the tomb ♪
1910
01:33:02,550 --> 01:33:04,600
♪ They do the sand
dance, Don't you know ♪
1911
01:33:04,800 --> 01:33:06,060
♪ If you move too fast ♪
1912
01:33:06,260 --> 01:33:07,260
[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪
1913
01:33:07,340 --> 01:33:09,230
♪ They're falling
down Like a domino ♪
1914
01:33:09,430 --> 01:33:11,570
♪ All the bazaar
men By the Nile ♪
1915
01:33:11,770 --> 01:33:13,820
♪ They got the
money On a bet ♪
1916
01:33:14,020 --> 01:33:15,190
♪ Gold crocodiles ♪
1917
01:33:15,390 --> 01:33:16,390
[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪
1918
01:33:16,520 --> 01:33:18,200
♪ They snap their teeth
On your cigarette ♪
1919
01:33:18,360 --> 01:33:20,160
♪ Foreign types With
the hookah pipes say ♪
1920
01:33:20,360 --> 01:33:22,990
[all] ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪
1921
01:33:23,190 --> 01:33:26,970
♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪
1922
01:33:27,390 --> 01:33:30,710
♪ Walk like an Egyptian ♪
1923
01:33:30,910 --> 01:33:32,770
[all cheering]
1924
01:33:41,070 --> 01:33:43,510
♪ The blonde waitresses
Take their trays ♪
1925
01:33:43,710 --> 01:33:45,600
♪ They spin around And
they cross the floor ♪
1926
01:33:45,800 --> 01:33:46,850
♪ They've got the moves ♪
1927
01:33:47,050 --> 01:33:48,950
[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪
1928
01:33:50,370 --> 01:33:52,690
♪ All the school kids
So sick of books ♪
1929
01:33:52,890 --> 01:33:54,900
♪ They like the punk
And the metal band ♪
1930
01:33:55,100 --> 01:33:57,240
♪ I do not know what to do ♪
1931
01:33:57,440 --> 01:33:59,320
♪ I drank so much Oh,
my God, I'm sick ♪
1932
01:33:59,520 --> 01:34:01,530
♪ All the kids In
the marketplace say ♪
1933
01:34:01,730 --> 01:34:04,160
[all] ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪
1934
01:34:04,360 --> 01:34:07,760
♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪
1935
01:34:08,600 --> 01:34:11,040
♪ Walk like an Egyptian ♪
1936
01:34:11,240 --> 01:34:13,170
[all cheering]
1937
01:34:13,370 --> 01:34:15,770
♪ I'm down For
the way he feels ♪
1938
01:34:17,560 --> 01:34:19,650
[instrumental break]
1939
01:34:24,400 --> 01:34:25,950
Whoo!
1940
01:34:54,480 --> 01:34:56,730
[whistling verse tune]
1941
01:35:02,530 --> 01:35:03,690
Make sure the batteries work.
1942
01:35:06,610 --> 01:35:10,530
I'm so sorry that I invited
two con men to your wedding.
1943
01:35:11,120 --> 01:35:14,940
And I don't know if I'm
attracted to toxic people,
1944
01:35:15,140 --> 01:35:17,120
or toxic people are
attracted to me.
1945
01:35:18,040 --> 01:35:19,840
- [song ends]
- [all cheering]
1946
01:35:28,300 --> 01:35:30,300
[instrumental music playing]
142130
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