Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:17,718
[woman reading text]
2
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:18,819
"As you can see,
3
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:23,724
"I have decided to redesign
the homepage...again!
4
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:27,795
"As the greatest detective
in the universe would say;
5
00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:30,331
"you'll thank me later.
6
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:34,068
Love to all,
Marci."
7
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,581
Bye-bye.
8
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,153
That's better.
9
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:57,091
Oh, Brian! Brian!
10
00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,859
Victory is mine!
11
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,729
Oh, man!
Thought I had you.
12
00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,397
You almost did.
13
00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,833
Debbie?
14
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,835
Debbie, honey.
15
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:11,305
Brian's here.
We're gonna watch the Giants.
16
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:12,540
Maybe she went out.
17
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,774
No. Her car's still here.
18
00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,343
Debbie?
19
00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,378
Oh, my God!
20
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:18,812
Debbie!
21
00:01:18,846 --> 00:01:21,249
Debbie!
22
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:24,118
Brian, call 9-1-1!
23
00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:25,753
[crying]
Oh, baby!
24
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,364
Are you Marci Maven?
25
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,765
Do you own a dog named
Otto?
26
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,467
You're damn right
she does.
27
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,869
That beast of yours
killed my wife!
28
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:42,836
I warned you
about him!
29
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,672
Mr. Ringel, please.
We'll take care of this.
30
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,707
What's going on?
31
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:47,908
There was an attack
earlier today
32
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,277
across the street.
33
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:53,281
Oh, today?
No, that wasn't Otto.
34
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:54,715
We're gonna have
to take him in, ma'am.
35
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:57,117
Where's the dog?
36
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,500
Yeah, I really don't think
it was him.
37
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:21,842
[Randy Newman ragtime theme]
38
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,212
* It's a jungle out there
39
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:28,716
* Disorder and confusion
everywhere *
40
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,818
* No one seems to care
41
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:31,885
* Well, I do
42
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,855
* Hey, who's in charge here?
43
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:38,759
* It's a jungle out there
44
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:41,795
* Poison in the very air
we breathe *
45
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,964
* You know what's in
the water that you drink? *
46
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:48,902
* Well, I do,
and it's a-ma-zing *
47
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:51,839
* People think I'm crazy
'cause I worry all the time *
48
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:55,343
* If you paid attention,
you'd be worried too *
49
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:59,747
* You'd better pay attention
or this world we love so much *
50
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:03,451
* Might just kill you
51
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:05,786
* I could be wrong now
52
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,755
* But I don't think so
53
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,291
* 'Cause it's
a jungle out there *
54
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,727
* It's a jungle
out there *
55
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,468
(Monk)
Bachelor Auction? What?
56
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:21,635
Yeah, people bid for you.
57
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,237
It's fun.
It's for charity.
58
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,338
[heavy sigh]
59
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:25,439
Now this side's crooked.
60
00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:26,574
When you're up
for reinstatement,
61
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:27,775
it'll look good
on your record.
62
00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,477
Plus,
it's for a good cause.
63
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,578
Police widows.
64
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,646
It's always the widows.
65
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,717
Why can't they just move on,
you know?
66
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,919
Everybody's doing it.
The captain's doing it.
67
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,754
Don't you wanna be
a team player?
No.
68
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:44,024
Don't you want to appear
to be a team player?
Sure.
69
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,826
All right.
How about this?
70
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,461
You give me $600.
71
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,330
When somebody bids on you,
I'll bid against them.
72
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,664
I'll outbid them.
73
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,601
You'll outbid them?
That's a good plan.
74
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,869
That's a great plan.
75
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,306
How do I
get my money back?
76
00:03:58,339 --> 00:03:59,707
No, you don't.
It goes to charity.
77
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:00,841
Let's keep thinking.
78
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,510
[doorbell rings]
79
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:12,520
[doorbell rings
insistently]
80
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,491
Oh, God!
81
00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:19,560
[loud whisper]
My God! Natalie!
82
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:25,299
It's that girl,
that Marci Maven,
83
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,401
my crazy fan.
84
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,443
Oh, hey, Marci.
85
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,411
Oh, Natalie, hello.
86
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:38,946
I need to speak
with Adrian.
87
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,314
Sorry.
You just missed him.
88
00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,049
He's, um...
89
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,317
uh...
90
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:44,985
he's getting his hair cut.
91
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:48,456
I know he's here.
92
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:51,459
Okay, he left at 8:00.
He came back 35 minutes later.
93
00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:53,327
And besides,
he only gets his hair cut
94
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:55,363
every first and third Tuesday
of every month.
95
00:04:56,930 --> 00:05:00,100
He's behind the door.
I can smell his shampoo.
96
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,869
Pantene for dry hair.
97
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,437
[sniffing]
98
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,639
Listen, I really need
to speak with him.
99
00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:06,807
It's important.
I'm in trouble!
100
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,409
Yeah, that's what you said
last year, Marci.
101
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,411
You said it was a matter
of life or death.
102
00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,580
But when he got in the car,
you locked the door
103
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:14,348
and tried to drive him
to Corpus Christi.
104
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:15,215
It was Thanksgiving!
105
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:17,451
What does that have to do
with anything?
106
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:18,986
Listen.
It's different this time.
107
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,554
My neighbor got killed!
108
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:23,357
They're blaming my dog.
Somebody's framing my dog!
109
00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:24,492
Okay, Marci,
then call the police.
110
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,427
I did.
They don't believe me.
111
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,761
Okay, Marci, Marci!
Sorry, can't help you.
112
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,430
Oh!
113
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,502
Is she gone?
Yeah.
114
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:39,707
Oh!
Hey, Adrian.
115
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,510
It's me, Marci Maven.
116
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:44,845
Next up,
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer.
117
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:48,649
Who wants to take
this handsome stud home, huh?
118
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,151
Captain Stottlemeyer
plays guitar
119
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,488
and claims to be quite handy
around the house.
120
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:55,923
Do I hear $300?
121
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,625
$300!
122
00:05:57,658 --> 00:06:02,062
Okay. Okay, here is $600.
123
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,698
But don't spend it all
if you don't have to.
124
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,033
Do I hear $400?
125
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:07,435
$400.
126
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:09,002
$400 going once--
127
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,472
$2,000!
128
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,441
I have $2,000.
129
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,543
Going once, going twice,
130
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,811
sold to that
very generous woman
131
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:19,146
in the leopard shirt.
132
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,515
What are you doing?
133
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,151
I am buying six hours
with my man.
134
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,986
He hasn't left the office
in two weeks.
135
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,755
That's a lot of money.
Damn right.
136
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:29,490
So you had better be
worth it.
137
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:33,561
Ladies, say hello
to Randy Disher.
138
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:39,199
Born in San Diego,
now a homicide detective.
[disco music plays]
139
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,636
Enjoys home-cooked meals
and long walks on the beach.
140
00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:43,971
Should I take this off?
141
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,173
Um, no, that's--
Okay!
142
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,208
[cheering]
143
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,210
Do I hear $300?
144
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,211
$300!
145
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,014
$300.
How about $350?
$350!
146
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,148
$400.
$400!
147
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,950
$450!
$400? $450!
148
00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,185
[cheering]
149
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,186
$650!
150
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,888
Come on, $750.
$800!
151
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,590
$850.
152
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,458
$850!
153
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:05,493
Going once,
154
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,160
going twice--
155
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,497
Wrap this boy up.
He's sold.
156
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:12,199
All right!
157
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,233
Thank you.
158
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:15,603
Hi, I'm Cameron Meyer.
159
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:16,604
Randy Disher.
160
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,806
Well, Ms. Meyer.
161
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,241
I guess you're the boss.
162
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,143
What'd you have in mind?
163
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:26,213
This is Sam.
164
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,815
He wants
to be a policeman.
165
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,717
I thought
I could just drop him off
166
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,251
and he could follow you
around.
167
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,586
Yeah!
168
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:33,987
Yeah, sure.
That'd be, uh--
169
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,188
That'd be great.
170
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,558
This is gonna be
a lotta fun, huh?
171
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,794
Next on our program
172
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,630
is Mr. Adrian Monk.
173
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,767
Mr. Monk
174
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,603
is a former
homicide detective
175
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:52,606
now working
as a private consultant.
176
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:56,510
He has worked
on many famous cases.
177
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:57,611
Let's start the bidding
178
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:58,979
at $200.
179
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,549
Do I hear $200?
180
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:13,293
Ladies,
this is a world-class detective.
181
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,995
Maybe you have a husband
182
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:18,265
or a boyfriend
who needs following.
183
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,236
Maybe you can't find
your car keys.
184
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:24,905
$200.
185
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,142
I have an opening bid
of $200.
$250!
186
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,311
I have $250.
Do I hear $300?
187
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,312
$300.
188
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,180
$300.
189
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,782
$350!
$350.
190
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:35,949
$400?
191
00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,018
Come on, ladies!
192
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,953
$600!
193
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:41,955
We have $600.
194
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,256
$600 and, uh--
195
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,658
Hold on, hold on!
196
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:49,329
Uh...$34.17.
197
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,299
$800.
198
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,266
$800!
199
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:57,037
Do I hear $850?
200
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,340
$800 going once--
201
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,975
$5,000!
202
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:05,278
Mr. Monk, you cannot bid
on yourself.
203
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:08,181
$800 going twice--
Wait, stop!
No.
204
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,183
No, no, no. Okay.
205
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:13,153
Somebody?
206
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,589
I'll do anything.
I'll do anything.
207
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,293
Look.
208
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,899
Beefcake.
209
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,037
[weakly]
Beefcake.
210
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:34,842
Please.
There was a restraining order.
211
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,576
Sold...
212
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,312
to the very determined,
213
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,348
very mysterious girl
in the green.
214
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:43,050
Okay.
215
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,252
Nice going.
All righty.
216
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,287
Next. Okay.
217
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,163
Hello!
Right on time, of course.
218
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,668
It's okay.
I'm right here.
219
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,135
Come in.
Come in, come in.
220
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,637
No.
221
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:05,105
You can pick him up
at 6:00.
222
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,407
No, no.
She's with me.
223
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,777
I can't do this alone.
224
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:13,246
Well, Adrian, I--
I bid on you.
225
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,750
I mean, I...
don't think we need a chaperone.
226
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,085
6:00 would be great.
227
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:21,621
Yeah, she's with me.
I can't do this alone.
228
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:24,792
Okay, fine.
Good.
229
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:25,926
The more the merrier.
230
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,229
I just--
I hope I made enough cookies.
231
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:32,032
Oh, I painted this for you
232
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:33,934
two years ago
for your birthday,
233
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,037
but Judge Franklin wouldn't
let me give it to you
234
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,271
because
of the restraining order.
235
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,974
You know,
50 yards away and...
236
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,976
no contact.
237
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,444
Jerk.
238
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,114
Oh, please,
make yourselves at home.
239
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,448
Sit down.
240
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,018
I'm sorry I'm babbling.
I'm nervous, you know?
241
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,721
I've just been imagining this
for so long, you know?
242
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:54,722
You, Adrian Monk.
243
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:57,224
You're really here.
244
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,193
Oh! So rude.
245
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:03,130
Here we go.
246
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,734
Summit Creek Water.
It's his favorite.
247
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,001
I know.
248
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,169
Well, do you know
249
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,370
what his favorite drink was
last year?
250
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:12,005
I do!
251
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,007
Sierra Springs.
252
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:17,144
Uh...ten ice cubes,
of course.
253
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,079
And...
254
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,184
some cookies,
fresh from the oven.
255
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,820
They're square.
256
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:30,090
I knew
you would appreciate that.
257
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,291
Yeah,
I've been baking all day...
258
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:32,325
and cleaning!
259
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:35,328
I wanted everything
to be perfect.
260
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,865
Marci...
261
00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,166
is this my glass?
262
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:43,236
Not anymore.
You threw it out, remember?
263
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:46,239
And yes, this is your rug.
And yes, that's your lamp.
264
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:49,076
And yes,
these are your pants.
265
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:50,844
Don't worry.
266
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,346
Not crazy, just a fan.
267
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:57,250
You are amazing.
But you know that, don't you?
268
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,288
His pants?
269
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:02,823
You know what I love?
270
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,391
I love
how you solve cases.
271
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:07,394
The way you move around
and you look at things.
272
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,297
And you see things
no one else sees.
273
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,199
I love that.
274
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:15,335
I mean, you really are
a great artist.
275
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:19,339
Well, a great artist--
I don't know about that.
276
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,044
Is there a problem?
277
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:27,881
No, no, no.
He's a great artist.
278
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,083
That's why
I went to the auction.
279
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:31,218
Because I really am
in trouble.
280
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,420
I need your help,
you know?
281
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:37,057
So do you wanna talk
about the case now
282
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,226
or should we just relax
for a little while?
283
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,362
What are the choices again?
284
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,164
Relax or talk
about the case.
285
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:47,234
Yeah, relax!
Let's just relax.
286
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,402
Plenty of time.
287
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:52,105
Five hours and 52 minutes.
288
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,610
(Natalie, whispering)
Mr. Monk!
289
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,616
Excuse me.
290
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,990
[whispering]
Oh, my God.
291
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,525
Oh, my God.
292
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,068
(Marci)
This is my favorite.
It's from last summer.
293
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,136
See, what I do is I read
the articles about you
294
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:26,139
and then I make dioramas
of the various cases.
295
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:29,276
This one is "Mr. Monk
and the Three Pies."
296
00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,479
What?!
297
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:34,181
When you went to see
your brother.
298
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,884
That's what I call it.
299
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,286
Is that...me?
300
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,192
Adrian,
should we call the captain?
301
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:47,160
[as Monk]
Not yet, Marci.
302
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,496
We need
to gather more evidence.
303
00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:52,565
Natalie, get the car.
304
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,067
On my way, Mr. Monk.
305
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,102
Is that me?
306
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:58,271
It's a troll doll.
307
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,107
Huh.
308
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,274
Marci.
309
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,276
I can't imagine life
without you.
310
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:04,878
Oh!
311
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,647
[whispering]
Adrian, I've waited so long--
312
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,982
Mar--
Marci!
313
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,083
Hmm?
314
00:14:10,117 --> 00:14:12,319
Marci,
are you a musician?
315
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,888
[laughing]
316
00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,190
You know I am!
317
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:20,460
I've only sent you
all my demos.
318
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:24,064
I'm working on a song.
Here.
319
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,233
* There's a man in California
320
00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,601
* If you're ever in a funk
321
00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:35,008
* He may not be
F. Murray Abraham *
322
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:37,310
* But I think he's a hunk
323
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,081
* And his name is
324
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:47,354
* Aaaaa...
325
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,523
* Adrian
326
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,625
* Yeaaah
327
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,996
* Adrian
328
00:14:56,029 --> 00:15:00,600
* I said oo-Aaaa...
329
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,635
* Aaa-- *
330
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:03,670
Mar--Marci.
331
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,173
On second thought,
332
00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,475
why don't you tell me
about the case?
333
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:11,044
Oh, okay.
334
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,381
I'm sorry.
Can we start over?
335
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,284
You had a dog.
His name was Otto.
336
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,219
(Marci)
Yep, that's right.
337
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,520
And Otto died last week?
338
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,122
Monday, yeah.
339
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,490
Well, I buried him
Monday night.
340
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:28,128
So he's in the ground, dead.
Dead, dead dog.
341
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,130
And then three days later,
342
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,165
on Thursday,
343
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:33,633
the woman across the street
was attacked?
344
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,002
By--by a dog.
345
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,104
Yeah, she was mauled.
346
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,438
Isn't that the grossest word?
347
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,340
"Mauled." Mauled.
348
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,742
I mean, Otto had snapped
at her last year,
349
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,144
but it wasn't a big deal.
350
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,478
But of course,
you know,
351
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,280
the cops naturally think
that he did it.
352
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:50,150
So they dug him up
to compare the teeth marks.
353
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:52,185
And they matched.
354
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,553
Well, that's what they say.
355
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,222
Yeah.
356
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:56,423
They're gonna return him
tomorrow.
357
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:58,458
I guess I'm gonna have
to bury him again.
358
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:02,062
So to recap,
the dog dies on Monday,
359
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,364
then three days later,
kills your neighbor.
360
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,133
Pretty freaky, huh?
361
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:09,302
And the dog was definitely dead
when you buried him.
362
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:12,239
Yeah, the dog was definitely
dead when I buried him.
363
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,640
What do you think,
I'm a nut?
364
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,475
Ah...
365
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,776
What do you think,
Adrian?
366
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,211
I stopped thinking
367
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:19,212
an hour and a half ago.
368
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,380
What do you think?
369
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:23,016
I think
we should call the captain.
370
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:26,419
That's the men's room.
371
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,088
And--
Hey.
372
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:32,025
This...is my desk.
373
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,094
Lieutenant Disher.
374
00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:42,302
Oh, check these out.
375
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,338
Real handcuffs.
Wanna try 'em on?
376
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:51,778
So...Sam.
377
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,646
How long have you wanted
to be a policeman?
378
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,748
I don't wanna be a cop.
379
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,284
But your mom said you did.
380
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,618
Maybe when I was nine.
381
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,588
How old are you now?
382
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:03,690
Nine and a half.
383
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,625
Who'd want to be a cop?
384
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:10,230
You don't make any money
and everybody hates you.
385
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:15,068
[sighs]
386
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:18,138
Okay.
387
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:20,307
Okay, so, uh,
what do you wanna do?
388
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,143
We got some game and stuff,
I think, for when kids visit.
389
00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:24,577
How about that?
390
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:26,646
Let's see.
391
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,648
No.
392
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,283
Ah, yeah,
here we go.
393
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,451
How about this?
394
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,186
We got crayons.
395
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,288
Coloring book.
396
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,259
Hmm.
I did that one.
397
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:41,294
I used to love this game.
Hm. Timber.
398
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:43,196
Set it up.
399
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:48,368
(Stottlemeyer)
I'm looking at the forensic
report right now, Monk.
400
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,203
Your girlfriend's
in a lot of trouble.
401
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:54,541
Yeah, she's--
she's not my girlfriend.
402
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,310
Look, the bite marks
all match 100%.
403
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,478
It's as good
as a fingerprint.
404
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:00,547
She says the dog
was already dead.
405
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:04,284
Debbie Ringel was attacked
by a dog.
406
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,685
And it wasn't a ghost dog.
407
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,487
Here is a more likely
scenario.
408
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,856
The dog kills the neighbor,
Marci panics.
409
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,858
She has her own dog put down
410
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:14,294
and claims that he died
a couple of days earlier.
411
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:16,463
I don't know.
I-I don't know.
412
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:19,466
(Stottlemeyer)
Animal control warned her
about Cujo at least twice,
413
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,134
which means
she's responsible.
414
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:22,735
She could be indicted
for manslaughter.
415
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,137
What she needs
is a good lawyer
416
00:18:24,171 --> 00:18:26,139
and you need
to get the hell out of there.
417
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,307
Okay?
Bye-bye.
418
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,309
Right.
419
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:32,245
Natalie.
420
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:33,280
[sighs]
421
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,215
Not like that.
422
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,417
Push it
with your fingertips.
423
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:41,754
Now pull it
from the other side over here.
424
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,823
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
425
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,325
That's
how you do it.
426
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,194
Having fun?
Yeah.
427
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,196
You know.
428
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,163
If you need me,
429
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:52,299
I will be at the Four Seasons
with Linda.
430
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:55,202
Do not need me.
She'll kill me.
431
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,403
Okay, that's yours.
432
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:57,504
Have fun.
433
00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:58,538
Oh, Captain?
434
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:01,574
Have fun.
435
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,945
Okay, I'm gonna go again.
436
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,547
Push.
437
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,582
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay.
438
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,384
They think
I killed Otto?!
439
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:13,720
Well, that would explain
quite a bit.
Makes a lotta sense.
440
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:16,223
No, I-I don't do that,
okay?
441
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:17,224
I don't kill things
I love.
442
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:20,227
Well, that's reassuring.
443
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,262
There must be
another explanation.
444
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,963
Like what, Marci?
445
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,932
Like, I don't know.
I mean, you do it all the time.
446
00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:28,601
The police have a theory
and they think it's cut and dry.
447
00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,937
And then you come in
and you do your thing.
448
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,939
And you get clues
and you figure it out.
449
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,875
You know, it's like "Mr. Monk
and the astronaut."
450
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,777
Or "Mr. Monk goes back
to school."
451
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:39,246
Oh, remember that one?
452
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,046
No!
453
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,147
Where are you getting
these names?
454
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,550
Marci, according to the
forensic laboratory reports--
455
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:44,884
Yeah, well,
they're wrong.
456
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:47,554
Okay.
They can make mistakes.
457
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:49,956
Maybe it was, uh, a frame-up.
458
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,258
[laughing]
459
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,892
They framed your dog?
460
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:56,296
[imitating laughter]
Yeah, maybe they did
frame my dog, Natalie.
461
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:58,398
It's not totally
unprecedented.
462
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,400
What about "Mr. Monk
and the Panic Room"?
463
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:03,270
They tried to frame a monkey,
didn't they?
464
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,004
See, things aren't always
as they seem.
465
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,440
That's true.
Okay.
466
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:08,608
We made a deal.
467
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,244
Okay.
I spent $800 for six hours.
468
00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:12,545
I own you.
469
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:14,514
You have to do
what I say.
470
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,854
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What if he's home?
471
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,756
There's no car
in the driveway.
472
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,292
Worry wart.
473
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,559
Adrian.
474
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:31,698
You'll be the lookout.
475
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,334
I'm not the lookout.
476
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:37,236
That's where they found her--
in the shed.
477
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,708
He's doing it.
That is so cool.
478
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,710
I've got goose bumps.
I really do.
479
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,312
You wanna see?
No, thank you.
480
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:46,579
Bumpy.
481
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:48,348
(Marci)
You have the best job
in the world.
482
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:50,283
[muttering]
Not today, I don't.
483
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:52,285
Did you say something?
484
00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:54,921
'Cause it sounded like
you said something.
485
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:36,863
What?
486
00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,566
She was attacked right here.
487
00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,968
You can still see
the blood.
488
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:45,004
But she must've tried
to fight back.
489
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:46,806
Right?
490
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,341
Look at all these tools.
491
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:52,011
Why--why didn't she grab
one of these tools?
492
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,079
[gasp]
493
00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:54,347
What are you doing?
494
00:21:54,381 --> 00:21:55,915
Clue hug!
495
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,450
No!
Natalie!
496
00:21:57,484 --> 00:21:58,651
Marci!
Ooh, right.
497
00:21:58,685 --> 00:21:59,886
Yes, go!
Keep going.
498
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,020
You're amazing.
You're amazing.
499
00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:03,590
Do your thing.
500
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:16,903
(Natalie)
What is that?
501
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:18,938
It's a flower petal.
502
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,676
Tulip?
503
00:22:32,018 --> 00:22:34,120
There's no tulips
in this yard.
504
00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:38,458
That's not a clue.
That's just something I notice.
505
00:22:38,491 --> 00:22:40,092
This is what we call
an observation.
506
00:22:40,126 --> 00:22:42,128
Okay, right.
507
00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:45,698
Can I help you?
508
00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:47,434
Oh, it's you!
509
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:49,168
Why can't you just
leave me alone?
510
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:52,772
Mr. Ringel,
I'm very sorry for your loss.
511
00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:56,042
I wonder if I could ask you
a couple of questions.
512
00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:59,446
Did you actually see Marci's dog
on that day?
513
00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:00,980
We know it was her dog.
514
00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:02,515
He crawled in
under the fence.
515
00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:03,583
You can still see
the hole.
516
00:23:03,616 --> 00:23:06,052
I talked to the cops.
All the teeth marks match.
517
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:08,855
And who the hell
are you?
518
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:10,990
This is Adrian Monk,
okay?
519
00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:13,860
And he happens to be
a genius.
520
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,194
Marci,
don't--don't--
521
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:16,763
If you have anything
to hide--
522
00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:18,064
and I have a hunch
that you do--
523
00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:19,532
he's gonna find it.
524
00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,100
He's already found,
like, a million clues.
525
00:23:21,133 --> 00:23:22,034
Tell him.
526
00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:24,403
Okay, Marci,
let's just leave this man alone.
527
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:27,974
You did it!
You killed her.
528
00:23:28,007 --> 00:23:30,109
You are in big trouble,
mister.
529
00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:35,181
Big trouble because Adrian Monk
always gets his man, friend!
530
00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:38,184
Sorry.
Sorry about her.
531
00:23:38,217 --> 00:23:40,953
Sorry about everything.
Sorry for your loss.
532
00:23:42,655 --> 00:23:45,725
So sorry.
533
00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:47,727
I-I did manage
534
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,962
to get your tools all
straightened out, though.
535
00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:53,165
This hose is kind of a mess,
though.
536
00:23:53,199 --> 00:23:56,102
You might wanna--
it's okay.
537
00:24:01,908 --> 00:24:03,175
Natalie!
538
00:24:05,612 --> 00:24:08,648
He said Natalie!
539
00:24:14,587 --> 00:24:15,888
According to the police,
540
00:24:15,922 --> 00:24:19,526
Otto dug this hole,
attacked Mrs. Ringel,
541
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:21,594
then got out the same way.
542
00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:23,062
So?
543
00:24:23,095 --> 00:24:25,832
Well, where's the dirt?
It's all on the other side.
544
00:24:25,865 --> 00:24:27,867
But that's the wrong side.
545
00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:31,070
When a dog digs a hole,
he pushes the dirt behind him.
546
00:24:31,103 --> 00:24:33,105
And...look!
547
00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:38,477
Dead...
Tulip.
548
00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:43,916
It's possible.
549
00:24:43,950 --> 00:24:48,154
There's a chance
she's not crazy.
550
00:24:48,187 --> 00:24:51,824
I mean, she's crazy,
but she might not be wrong.
551
00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:56,596
Clue hug?
552
00:24:56,629 --> 00:24:58,631
Take it like a man.
553
00:25:03,035 --> 00:25:05,738
Uh, I need a wipe,
Natalie.
554
00:25:05,772 --> 00:25:06,939
Ooh, ooh!
555
00:25:06,973 --> 00:25:08,174
Hold on!
556
00:25:08,207 --> 00:25:09,776
Right here.
Here.
557
00:25:09,809 --> 00:25:10,843
Oh, no!
Use mine.
558
00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:11,911
They're monogrammed.
559
00:25:11,944 --> 00:25:12,912
They're better.
560
00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:14,547
I-I did it myself.
561
00:25:14,581 --> 00:25:18,651
They're sanitary wipes.
Doesn't that defeat the purpose?
562
00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:21,988
Adrian, she's ruining
everything.
563
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:23,122
I mean, who is she?
564
00:25:23,155 --> 00:25:26,125
I'm his assistant, okay?
I been with him for three years.
565
00:25:26,158 --> 00:25:28,695
Well, I've known him
even longer, okay?
566
00:25:28,728 --> 00:25:29,962
Okay, here's a little
news flash, Marci.
567
00:25:29,996 --> 00:25:31,798
Stalking someone
and knowing someone--
568
00:25:31,831 --> 00:25:33,132
two different things!
569
00:25:33,165 --> 00:25:34,233
Excuse me.
570
00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:36,035
Ladies,
let's settle down.
571
00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:39,205
I think we might have
an actual murder on our hands.
572
00:25:39,238 --> 00:25:40,840
Oh, woo-hoo!
573
00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:42,875
Exactly.
Woo-hoo.
574
00:25:42,909 --> 00:25:46,979
Let's just think
for a minute, okay?
575
00:25:47,013 --> 00:25:49,982
Tell me about the dog.
How did he die?
576
00:25:50,016 --> 00:25:51,684
Kidney failure.
577
00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:52,719
He went really quickly.
578
00:25:52,752 --> 00:25:55,855
Before he passed,
did anything unusual happen?
579
00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:59,826
Oh, yes!
580
00:25:59,859 --> 00:26:01,260
About two weeks ago,
he disappeared for a whole day.
581
00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:02,328
I couldn't find him.
582
00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:03,696
I was worried sick.
583
00:26:03,730 --> 00:26:04,864
I was putting up posters
everywhere.
584
00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:07,266
And then around 6:00,
he just showed up.
585
00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:10,169
And you have no idea
where he was?
586
00:26:10,202 --> 00:26:11,604
No.
587
00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:12,939
He was covered
in woodchips, though.
588
00:26:12,972 --> 00:26:14,140
Is that important?
589
00:26:14,173 --> 00:26:15,842
It took me an hour
to brush it out.
590
00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:16,809
You still have the brush?
591
00:26:16,843 --> 00:26:18,344
The brush?
592
00:26:18,377 --> 00:26:20,212
[exaggerated laughter]
Please.
593
00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:21,914
Actually,
that's a good idea.
594
00:26:21,948 --> 00:26:23,983
I'll get it.
595
00:26:33,225 --> 00:26:34,927
It's teak.
596
00:26:40,066 --> 00:26:42,101
Mahogany.
597
00:26:42,134 --> 00:26:43,870
Lumber yard.
598
00:26:43,903 --> 00:26:45,938
Oh, no.
599
00:26:45,972 --> 00:26:49,742
We have to now.
It's tradition.
600
00:27:00,419 --> 00:27:01,954
Can I help you?
601
00:27:01,988 --> 00:27:03,289
This is Adrian Monk.
602
00:27:03,322 --> 00:27:05,191
He's gonna be asking you
some questions.
603
00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:06,859
What about?
604
00:27:06,893 --> 00:27:07,960
You'll find out.
605
00:27:07,994 --> 00:27:09,128
First,
there are some ground rules.
606
00:27:09,161 --> 00:27:11,163
No coughing, no sneezing.
You will not shake his hand.
607
00:27:11,197 --> 00:27:13,365
You will not make small talk.
Do you understand?
608
00:27:13,399 --> 00:27:15,768
Lower that sleeve
so it's even with the other one.
609
00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:18,004
He's very particular.
610
00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:28,014
Yes.
611
00:27:31,217 --> 00:27:33,019
Have you seen this dog?
612
00:27:33,052 --> 00:27:34,821
No.
613
00:27:34,854 --> 00:27:37,824
Thank you.
614
00:27:37,857 --> 00:27:40,760
That is four lumber yards down,
one to go.
615
00:27:40,793 --> 00:27:41,961
How am I dong?
616
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:43,863
Not bad, actually.
617
00:27:43,896 --> 00:27:45,431
Well, if you ever need
an assistant--
618
00:27:45,464 --> 00:27:46,999
Well, I have Natalie.
619
00:27:47,033 --> 00:27:48,801
Well, maybe it's time
for a change.
620
00:27:48,835 --> 00:27:50,369
Natalie and I have been together
for three and a half years.
621
00:27:50,402 --> 00:27:51,470
So I don't thi--
622
00:27:51,503 --> 00:27:53,339
I'll work for free.
623
00:27:57,176 --> 00:28:00,346
What?
624
00:28:00,379 --> 00:28:02,214
You're considering it?
625
00:28:02,248 --> 00:28:06,152
Well, you know...
free.
626
00:28:06,185 --> 00:28:08,187
So?
627
00:28:08,220 --> 00:28:10,790
You wanna make
a counter offer?
628
00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:13,159
Yeah, here's my counter offer.
I'm not nuts!
629
00:28:15,828 --> 00:28:17,363
You're right, you're right.
I'm sorry.
630
00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:18,898
It ju--
It's her!
631
00:28:18,931 --> 00:28:20,733
I get so flustered.
632
00:28:20,767 --> 00:28:22,434
Mr. Monk, you're not flustered.
You're flattered.
633
00:28:22,468 --> 00:28:23,870
Who wouldn't be?
634
00:28:23,903 --> 00:28:27,006
She adores you.
She knows everything about you.
635
00:28:27,039 --> 00:28:28,908
After all,
you're only human.
636
00:28:28,941 --> 00:28:31,210
There's no need
for name-calling.
637
00:28:31,243 --> 00:28:32,745
You know what?
638
00:28:32,779 --> 00:28:35,882
On second thought,
I think it's a great idea.
639
00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:37,516
What are you doing?
Calling a cab.
640
00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,851
I'm going home.
What?!
641
00:28:38,885 --> 00:28:40,419
I'm glad that this happened,
actually.
642
00:28:40,452 --> 00:28:42,521
That woman is as obsessive
and compulsive as you are.
643
00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:43,990
I want you to see
what it's like.
644
00:28:44,023 --> 00:28:44,991
Go ahead.
645
00:28:45,024 --> 00:28:46,458
Hang out with her,
work with her.
646
00:28:46,492 --> 00:28:48,294
I'll call you tomorrow.
We'll compare notes.
647
00:28:54,967 --> 00:28:58,337
It's for the best, boss.
648
00:28:58,370 --> 00:29:01,908
Last weekend was my fault.
649
00:29:01,941 --> 00:29:04,410
Hmm. And the weekend
before that?
650
00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:08,981
That one...
okay, that was my fault too.
651
00:29:09,015 --> 00:29:10,482
Mm-hmm.
652
00:29:10,516 --> 00:29:12,518
Look, I've got two detectives
on sick leave.
653
00:29:12,551 --> 00:29:13,786
I have been swamped.
654
00:29:13,820 --> 00:29:17,990
What does a girl have to do
to get your attention, Captain?
655
00:29:18,024 --> 00:29:19,758
Kill someone?
656
00:29:22,061 --> 00:29:23,896
[cell phone rings]
657
00:29:27,399 --> 00:29:29,368
I'm not gonna answer it.
658
00:29:29,401 --> 00:29:33,873
It is...in the briefcase.
659
00:29:35,074 --> 00:29:40,046
It's in the briefcase
and the briefcase is locked.
660
00:29:42,882 --> 00:29:46,018
Now...where were we?
661
00:29:46,052 --> 00:29:48,087
[laughing]
662
00:29:49,321 --> 00:29:51,423
[Disher whispering]
Okay.
663
00:29:51,457 --> 00:29:53,259
Fingertips.
664
00:29:53,292 --> 00:29:55,294
Lieutenant, we caught a break
on that Chinatown thing.
665
00:29:55,327 --> 00:29:58,364
Okay. Give it to Kramer.
Tell him I'm busy.
666
00:29:58,397 --> 00:29:59,999
I am Kramer.
667
00:30:00,032 --> 00:30:02,168
Uh-huh.
668
00:30:02,201 --> 00:30:03,469
Yeah.
669
00:30:17,616 --> 00:30:19,185
ding
670
00:30:26,025 --> 00:30:27,126
It's John Ringel.
671
00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:29,929
That's the guy.
That's the husband.
672
00:30:29,962 --> 00:30:33,265
Oh, yeah,
he owns a lumber yard.
673
00:30:33,299 --> 00:30:34,500
I forgot.
674
00:30:34,533 --> 00:30:35,868
You forgot?!
675
00:30:35,902 --> 00:30:37,003
How could you forget?!
676
00:30:37,036 --> 00:30:39,305
We've been checking
lumber yards all day!
677
00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:41,007
I'm sorry.
I wasn't thinking.
678
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,944
I'm not a perfect person.
679
00:30:44,977 --> 00:30:46,345
I need a hug.
680
00:30:46,378 --> 00:30:48,948
No, no more hugs.
681
00:30:48,981 --> 00:30:51,450
Sorry,
I was just closing up.
682
00:30:51,483 --> 00:30:52,451
Not you again.
683
00:30:52,484 --> 00:30:54,253
My dog was here.
684
00:30:54,286 --> 00:30:56,488
You kidnapped my dog
two weeks ago!
685
00:30:56,522 --> 00:30:58,958
You really are certifiable,
aren't you?
686
00:30:58,991 --> 00:31:00,292
I told you
to stop harassing me.
687
00:31:00,326 --> 00:31:01,961
But that's it.
688
00:31:01,994 --> 00:31:03,996
I'm gonna call my lawyer
and then I'm calling the cops.
689
00:31:09,635 --> 00:31:13,272
Let's just get outta here.
690
00:31:13,305 --> 00:31:14,974
I think he's bluffing.
691
00:31:15,007 --> 00:31:16,375
He's bluffing.
692
00:31:19,211 --> 00:31:20,312
What is it?
693
00:31:23,482 --> 00:31:25,384
It's chew marks.
694
00:31:28,187 --> 00:31:29,221
Look!
695
00:31:30,222 --> 00:31:31,490
[gasp]
696
00:31:31,523 --> 00:31:32,891
Otto!
697
00:31:34,093 --> 00:31:35,928
You are amazing!
698
00:31:35,962 --> 00:31:37,696
What do you wanna call
this case?
699
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:39,465
I don't know!
Shut up.
700
00:31:39,498 --> 00:31:41,533
How about
"Mr. Monk is Friggin' Awesome"?
701
00:31:41,567 --> 00:31:44,236
How about "Mr. Monk and Marci:
The Adventure Begins"?
702
00:31:44,270 --> 00:31:47,239
It doesn't matter.
Nobody cares about the name.
703
00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:49,541
Just shut it.
704
00:31:54,380 --> 00:31:55,982
Monogrammed wipe.
705
00:32:04,723 --> 00:32:08,995
"Plaster mold.
Do not ingest."
706
00:32:13,032 --> 00:32:18,204
Marci, when Otto died,
did you tell anyone?
707
00:32:18,237 --> 00:32:21,373
No.
708
00:32:24,510 --> 00:32:26,412
[whispering]
Oh, my God.
709
00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:28,981
Don't turn!
Don't--don't--don't turn around.
710
00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:33,752
I think you were right.
711
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:35,421
He's the guy.
[squealing]
712
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:38,057
And I know
how he did it.
713
00:32:38,090 --> 00:32:38,757
Oh, my gosh.
714
00:32:38,790 --> 00:32:40,159
Say, "Here's what happened."
715
00:32:40,192 --> 00:32:42,728
He must've been
planning this for weeks!
716
00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:44,396
Say, "Here's what happened"!
717
00:32:44,430 --> 00:32:45,731
Shh.
718
00:32:45,764 --> 00:32:47,433
Here's what happened.
719
00:32:49,201 --> 00:32:52,604
John Ringel realized
he could murder his wife
720
00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:54,273
and blame it
on your dog.
721
00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:56,075
Nobody would ever question it.
722
00:32:56,108 --> 00:32:58,710
Everybody knew
Otto was a little wild.
723
00:32:58,744 --> 00:33:00,546
[Marci squeals]
724
00:33:00,579 --> 00:33:01,780
Marci, what are you doing?
725
00:33:01,813 --> 00:33:03,549
There's no hugging during
the "Here's what happened."
726
00:33:03,582 --> 00:33:04,350
(Marci)
Sorry, go on.
727
00:33:04,383 --> 00:33:05,984
(Monk)
Just stand over there.
728
00:33:07,719 --> 00:33:09,355
That day
Otto disappeared
729
00:33:09,388 --> 00:33:12,691
Ringel must've
brought him here, drugged him,
730
00:33:12,724 --> 00:33:16,095
and made an impression
of his teeth.
731
00:33:16,128 --> 00:33:18,464
(Marci)
Oh, poor Otto!
732
00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,238
(Monk)
Then Ringel built
a lethal weapon
733
00:33:26,272 --> 00:33:28,574
using the mold
of Otto's teeth.
734
00:33:28,607 --> 00:33:30,676
It couldn't have been
too hard.
735
00:33:30,709 --> 00:33:32,444
After all,
he owns a lumber yard.
736
00:33:32,478 --> 00:33:34,380
He had all the equipment
he needed.
737
00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:40,052
[clanking]
738
00:33:41,787 --> 00:33:44,323
Then he waited.
739
00:33:44,356 --> 00:33:46,192
He was in no rush.
740
00:33:46,225 --> 00:33:48,760
One week, two weeks,
741
00:33:48,794 --> 00:33:51,463
until finally,
she was alone.
742
00:33:57,503 --> 00:34:00,706
He knew the bite marks
would match up perfectly.
743
00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:03,509
The cops--everyone--
would assume it was your dog.
744
00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:07,779
It was a perfect crime,
except for one thing.
745
00:34:09,481 --> 00:34:11,417
He had waited too long.
746
00:34:11,450 --> 00:34:14,353
He didn't know that Otto
had died three days earlier.
747
00:34:14,386 --> 00:34:16,155
He was framing a dead dog!
748
00:34:16,188 --> 00:34:19,625
Wow.
749
00:34:19,658 --> 00:34:22,228
That is incredible!
750
00:34:22,261 --> 00:34:23,729
Where did he go?
751
00:34:23,762 --> 00:34:25,797
(Marci)
Do it one more time
for the website.
752
00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:27,799
What are you doing?!
I'm not gonna say it again.
753
00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:29,401
You don't have to do
the whole thing.
754
00:34:29,435 --> 00:34:31,370
Just say how you know
how he killed his wife.
755
00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:32,804
Marci, would you keep
your voice down?
756
00:34:32,838 --> 00:34:34,873
He's gonna hear us.
757
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,775
Too late.
758
00:34:36,808 --> 00:34:39,811
I already heard ya.
759
00:34:46,152 --> 00:34:50,156
Shut up and don't move.
760
00:34:50,189 --> 00:34:51,257
Shoot him.
761
00:34:51,290 --> 00:34:53,192
I don't have a gun.
762
00:34:53,225 --> 00:34:55,161
You did in "Mr. Monk
and The Dragon's Lair."
763
00:34:55,194 --> 00:34:57,296
The what?!
764
00:34:57,329 --> 00:34:58,630
Oh, wait.
I made that one up.
765
00:34:58,664 --> 00:35:00,732
It's called "fan fiction."
766
00:35:00,766 --> 00:35:01,833
I said...
767
00:35:01,867 --> 00:35:03,635
shut up!
768
00:35:03,669 --> 00:35:06,205
Agh!
Son of a bitch!
769
00:35:13,345 --> 00:35:15,281
Mm.
770
00:35:20,319 --> 00:35:21,753
What is it?
771
00:35:21,787 --> 00:35:26,258
Leland,
this is not very romantic.
772
00:35:26,292 --> 00:35:29,161
What are you looking at?
773
00:35:29,195 --> 00:35:30,662
Bite marks.
774
00:35:30,696 --> 00:35:33,765
I'm afraid to ask.
775
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:37,836
Look at the bite marks.
776
00:35:37,869 --> 00:35:40,506
That woman was...
attacked by a dog.
777
00:35:40,539 --> 00:35:41,907
Look at the bite marks.
778
00:35:41,940 --> 00:35:43,642
No, thank you.
779
00:35:43,675 --> 00:35:46,378
They're all upside down.
780
00:35:46,412 --> 00:35:49,248
Even the defensive ones.
781
00:35:50,716 --> 00:35:54,686
Um...
782
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:56,555
I gotta make
a phone call.
783
00:35:59,958 --> 00:36:04,730
[phone ringing]
784
00:36:04,763 --> 00:36:06,498
Mr. Monk?
785
00:36:06,532 --> 00:36:08,867
(Stottlemeyer)
No, it's me.
I'm trying to find him.
786
00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:11,803
[phone ringing]
787
00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:19,978
Disher.
788
00:36:20,011 --> 00:36:21,947
(Stottlemeyer)
Randy, meet me
at 420 Vinton Street.
789
00:36:21,980 --> 00:36:24,316
It's a lumber yard.
It's owned by John Ringel.
790
00:36:24,350 --> 00:36:25,584
Chop chop.
791
00:36:25,617 --> 00:36:26,885
Who's John Ringel?
792
00:36:26,918 --> 00:36:28,687
As of ten minutes ago,
he's a murder suspect.
793
00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:30,889
Monk is there now.
I think he might be in trouble.
794
00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:32,524
I'm on my way.
795
00:36:34,926 --> 00:36:37,963
You still playing
that stupid game?
796
00:36:37,996 --> 00:36:38,930
Randy?
797
00:36:38,964 --> 00:36:41,867
Randy?
798
00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:43,402
No.
799
00:37:00,686 --> 00:37:01,820
[gasps]
800
00:37:01,853 --> 00:37:03,989
What is this?
801
00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:04,956
Is this blood?
802
00:37:04,990 --> 00:37:06,292
Shh.
803
00:37:06,325 --> 00:37:07,426
You've been shot.
804
00:37:07,459 --> 00:37:08,727
Oh, my God!
I've been shot!
805
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:09,861
Shh.
It's okay.
806
00:37:09,895 --> 00:37:10,962
It's just a scratch.
807
00:37:10,996 --> 00:37:12,298
What am I doing here?
808
00:37:12,331 --> 00:37:13,632
Shut--shut up.
809
00:37:13,665 --> 00:37:15,601
This isn't fun anymore.
Why did you bring me here?
810
00:37:15,634 --> 00:37:17,269
I didn't bring you here!
811
00:37:17,303 --> 00:37:19,671
I don't wanna do this.
I hate this.
812
00:37:19,705 --> 00:37:21,873
Excuse me.
Pause.
813
00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:23,609
Pause, please.
814
00:37:23,642 --> 00:37:26,512
If we could just
put a pause on this...
815
00:37:26,545 --> 00:37:27,879
for a second.
816
00:37:27,913 --> 00:37:29,548
I wanna go home.
817
00:37:29,581 --> 00:37:31,283
And I know,
818
00:37:31,317 --> 00:37:33,018
but I am absolutely
not gonna say anything
819
00:37:33,051 --> 00:37:34,686
about you killing
your wife.
820
00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:36,522
It's no biggie.
821
00:37:36,555 --> 00:37:38,390
I mean,
she was asking for it.
822
00:37:38,424 --> 00:37:39,991
I've seen her out there.
I'm your neighbor.
823
00:37:40,025 --> 00:37:41,993
I've seen her in the garden
with her flower pot
824
00:37:42,027 --> 00:37:46,932
going blah, blah, blah.
My gardenias are awesome.
825
00:37:46,965 --> 00:37:48,434
So I'm just gonna go.
826
00:37:48,467 --> 00:37:52,438
Yeah,
I don't think so!
827
00:37:52,471 --> 00:37:54,306
Monk!
828
00:37:54,340 --> 00:37:55,441
Come on out!
829
00:37:55,474 --> 00:37:56,842
I have your girlfriend!
830
00:37:56,875 --> 00:37:59,978
I'm not his girlfriend.
I don't even like him anymore.
831
00:38:02,047 --> 00:38:04,516
Monk?
832
00:38:04,550 --> 00:38:07,953
Come out or I'll kill her.
833
00:38:07,986 --> 00:38:08,987
Okay, right here.
834
00:38:18,364 --> 00:38:20,832
Natalie, stay back.
835
00:38:36,948 --> 00:38:38,450
(Ringel)
Where's your car, Marci?
836
00:38:38,484 --> 00:38:39,685
Out front.
837
00:38:39,718 --> 00:38:42,721
I hope you have
a full tank.
838
00:38:42,754 --> 00:38:43,989
We got a long trip
ahead of us.
839
00:38:44,022 --> 00:38:45,090
Listen.
I have to sit in the front.
840
00:38:45,123 --> 00:38:46,625
It's one of my things.
841
00:38:46,658 --> 00:38:48,059
Yeah,
he's got a million "things."
842
00:38:48,093 --> 00:38:51,897
I don't know
what I was thinking.
843
00:38:51,930 --> 00:38:52,998
SFPD!
Drop the weapon!
844
00:38:53,031 --> 00:38:55,567
[gunshots]
845
00:38:58,537 --> 00:38:59,971
Go, go, go!
846
00:39:00,005 --> 00:39:01,973
Go, go, go, go!
847
00:39:03,642 --> 00:39:05,110
Where is he?
848
00:39:05,143 --> 00:39:07,145
I can't get a shot.
849
00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:08,547
Go around.
850
00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:10,449
Go around!
851
00:39:41,647 --> 00:39:43,114
What are you doing?
852
00:39:53,959 --> 00:39:55,861
whack!
Oh!
853
00:40:03,001 --> 00:40:04,703
Let me see your hands!
854
00:40:04,736 --> 00:40:06,438
Let's see 'em.
855
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:21,086
Stupid game, huh?
856
00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:27,192
(Natalie)
What is it?
857
00:40:27,225 --> 00:40:31,162
Oh, it's--
it's from Marci.
858
00:40:31,196 --> 00:40:32,764
"Adrian, I'm sorry.
859
00:40:32,798 --> 00:40:34,766
"I can't have your things
in my house anymore.
860
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:38,069
"How would I ever explain them
to Fff-Murray Abraham?
861
00:40:38,103 --> 00:40:40,171
F. Murray Abraham.
The actor.
862
00:40:40,205 --> 00:40:43,475
May God have mercy
on his soul.
863
00:40:43,509 --> 00:40:45,544
Your pants are back.
864
00:40:45,577 --> 00:40:48,179
I'd already
thrown this stuff out.
865
00:40:48,213 --> 00:40:49,848
Oh, hey. Look.
866
00:40:49,881 --> 00:40:51,717
It's you.
867
00:40:51,750 --> 00:40:54,486
[imitating Marci]
Oh, Adrian, I adore you.
Aren't you amazing?
868
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,154
I love everything you say
and do.
869
00:40:56,187 --> 00:40:58,256
All right.
It wasn't like that.
870
00:40:58,289 --> 00:40:59,725
Thank you, Marci.
871
00:40:59,758 --> 00:41:01,059
I think
you have excellent taste.
872
00:41:01,092 --> 00:41:02,861
How would you like to be
my new assistant?
873
00:41:02,894 --> 00:41:04,796
You could follow me around
and worship me all day.
874
00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:06,765
Cut it out, will you?
And let's seal the deal
875
00:41:06,798 --> 00:41:08,534
with a great big clue hug.
876
00:41:08,567 --> 00:41:09,968
Clue hug!
Clue hug!
877
00:41:10,001 --> 00:41:11,637
Clue hug!
Stop it.
878
00:41:11,670 --> 00:41:13,605
Oh, I love you.
I'm your biggest fan.
879
00:41:13,639 --> 00:41:15,073
I just want
a little clue hug!
880
00:41:15,106 --> 00:41:16,675
Natalie, cut it out.
I know it's you.
881
00:41:16,708 --> 00:41:18,944
Clue hug, clue hug.
882
00:41:18,977 --> 00:41:21,980
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
58087
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese