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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,320
Awop boppa-loo-bop, awop bam boom!
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy!
2
00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:10,320
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy,
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy!
3
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:15,600
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudi,
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudi!
4
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,920
Awop boppa-loo-bop, awop bam boom!
5
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:23,080
I've got a girl named Sue,
She knows just what to do!
6
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:28,440
I've got a girl named Sue,
She knows just what to do!
7
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:31,360
She rocks to the east,
She rocks to the west,
8
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,840
But she's the girl I love best!
9
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:38,440
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy,
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy!
10
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:41,360
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy!
11
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,680
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy!
12
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,520
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy!
13
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:50,640
Awop boppa-loo-bop,
Awop bam boom!
14
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,280
Riding along in my automobile,
15
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,240
My baby beside me at the wheel.
16
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:02,080
I stole a kiss
at the turn of the mile,
17
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,760
My curiosity running wild!
18
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:09,480
Cruising and playing the radio,
19
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:13,360
With no particular place to go.
20
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:17,080
Riding along in my automobile,
21
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:20,720
I wanted to say the way I feel.
22
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,240
So I told her softly and sincere.
23
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,880
She leaned and whispered in
my ear.
24
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,880
Girl, I know I'm driving slow,
25
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:37,640
With no particular place to go...
Go...go...go...go...go...GO !!
26
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,600
GUITAR BREAK
27
00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,880
"No Particular Place To Go"... >
28
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:03,480
..a rare film-clip of Glasgow band,
the Majestics,
29
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:08,520
once seen as Britain's answer
to Freddy Bell and the Bellboys,
30
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:13,080
performing the Chuck Berry classic
back in 1964.
31
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:19,360
And it was here, in this quiet
Glasgow street, just six weeks ago,
32
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:23,400
that Jazza McGlone,
the Majestics' extrovert vocalist,
33
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:28,600
discovered that "No Particular
Place" meant precisely that.
34
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:33,000
The Ford Sierra he was driving
crashed headlong
35
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:38,280
into THIS bus shelter,
at over 70mph...
36
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:43,240
Can we go back on that?
Some idiot's moved the flowers! Cut! >
37
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:59,280
SUZI:
Not a peep out of you for two weeks and then you turn up at dawn!
38
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:04,600
This is the last time I get out
of my bed at 6.15 for ANYBODY !
39
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:09,200
You might have given some warning.
I had no warning!
40
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:14,560
Eddie just phoned the digs and said
the BBC were doing a special on us.
41
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,920
I'd just as soon be in Ardrossan.
42
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,080
It's just about you, then?!
43
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:24,280
Why so incredulous?
Word has obviously got back.
44
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:28,040
Move over a bit.
That suit's giving me a headache.
45
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:35,840
Where in God's name did you get it?
I dropped in at Theresa's and had a rake through Jazza's wardrobe.
46
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:41,680
Nice, eh? You could give it a couple
of coats of yacht varnish, bring it up a bit, yeah?
47
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:47,560
Just you wait till you see the
effect it has on this bird doing the interview.
48
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,880
What's her name? Sheena Fisher.
49
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:56,720
Sheena Fisher. The one that did
the "Phone me up and I'll sort you out" radio show?
50
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,760
You know her? She was at my school!
51
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,920
She was a RIGHT bimbo...
52
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,360
How she got a job in TV beats me.
53
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:11,960
"Rockin' Thru' The Rye". >
159 - Take 1. Action!
54
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:21,080
This bunch of fading flowers is
just one of the dozens placed here by anonymous fans over the weeks.
55
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:27,200
They turn an ordinary bus shelter
into a kind of rock 'n roll shrine,
56
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:35,080
much in the same way as the Paris
grave of Jim Morrison has become a place of pilgrimage, since 1971.
57
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,840
Let me do that bit again.
58
00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:41,720
Cut! ..Whatever you think.
59
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:46,800
..since that gent's...mysterious
but timely exit in 1971.
60
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,120
All right?
61
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,000
- Morrison, Dougie!
- Fine.
62
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,280
OK, board in!
63
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:58,320
Turn over!
Running!
64
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:02,440
"Rockin' Thru' The Rye". >
159 - Take 2.
65
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,200
Action! >
66
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,720
This bunch of fading flowers...
67
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,760
'Bizarre'?
68
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:16,560
No more so than Emperor Hirohito
standing for the photographers in front of the Cenotaph.
69
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,600
I'll thumb a lift home from here.
70
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,560
It must be around here somewhere.
71
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:28,040
Let me out! ..It's disgusting!
It's just a stupid bus shelter!
72
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,360
A-ha...! I spy...
73
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:35,240
..a milk man!
Ten pints and a brown loaf (!)
74
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:38,960
OY ! HEY ! 'SCUSE ME, JIM !
75
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,200
< We're looking for a bus shelter!
76
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,920
We're looking for
a bus shelter.
77
00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,240
A bus shelter?
78
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,240
Try asking in Gaelic (!)
79
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,560
A boy was killed there
a while back.
80
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:09,440
I'll get out here. Jazza McGlone -
the rock 'n roll star. Let me out!
81
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:13,160
Mebbe seen it in the paper. Danny!
82
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:16,680
He was out for kebabs at the time.
83
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,560
Disnae ring a bell ?
< No.
84
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:25,800
What's up?!
The one on Berryhill Drive? That's it!
85
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:34,680
AS THE ARGUMENT RAGES:
< Turn left and it's straight ahead.
86
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:38,080
You cannae miss it. Very good (!)
87
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:43,000
What's up with him?
It's the corpse's brother. Thanks, pal.
88
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:50,760
Don't go getting in a state,
Danny boy. I'm NOT ! It's her!
89
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:55,800
Eddie says there's every chance
it'll get networked as a tribute.
90
00:06:55,800 --> 00:07:01,200
What d'you mean 'tribute'? It's not
all going to be about Jazza, is it?
91
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,560
No longer the heir presumptive (!)
92
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,920
SHEENA FISHER:
46-year-old McGlone, known in the business as 'Big Jazza',
93
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:17,320
was a one-time amphetamine addict
and alcoholic.
94
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:24,440
A 19-stone delinquent, he regularly
downed 20 pints of heavy in one go,
95
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:30,720
and his carnal excesses won for him
a star rating alongside other such celebrated debauchees,
96
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:35,520
as Roscoe Arbuckle, Frankie Lymon,
and Aleister Crowley.
97
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:42,320
I asked his younger brother, Danny,
who has replaced Jazza in the band,
98
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:46,320
what HE thought
of this unsavoury reputation.
99
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:50,560
Was it justified? Or was it,
as some would have us believe,
100
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:54,080
simply an astute MANAGEMENT move
101
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:58,640
to foster the 'monster' image
for commercial gain?
102
00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:05,040
He said LEFT ! They'll have
gone home by now... Try this one.
103
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,880
Here? NO !! THAT one!
104
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:17,120
We might as well get the noddies in
while we're waiting, Archie.
105
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:21,520
Where the devil's this Danny
chap, Sheena?
106
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:27,280
No Duke of Edinburgh
orienteering badge for YOU.
107
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:32,480
I don't suppose THAT would be it?
Where...? Oh, so it is!
108
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:36,360
Like a homing pigeon, aren't I ?!
109
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:40,000
I wondered who was making a mess
of the seats (!)
110
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,000
(Good grief!)
111
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:53,680
This whole thing is utterly tacky.
You don't have to come and watch.
112
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:57,640
You're welcome to stay in the van.
113
00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:01,800
And miss your first walk-on screen
appearance?! Not on your life!
114
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:05,600
God!
115
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,880
No deckchair with my name on it?
116
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,280
Behave!
117
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,360
↑
You welcome them, ducky.
118
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:18,200
Sheena Fisher. Sorry we're late.
My driver's dyslexic.
119
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:22,160
Susan Kettles. Have we met before?
120
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,760
Have we? I'm pretty sure we have.
121
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:29,160
And this is... No, I've forgotten!
122
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:33,840
Dennis Sproul.
I don't find him funny, either. Hi!
123
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:39,840
And this is the Hunting Sproul
I'm wearing! Come and meet Douglas.
124
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:44,040
Douglas? The director.
Hear that, Kettles?!
125
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:49,800
God, I've just realised... It's OK.
I wanted a few snaps of it, anyway.
126
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:59,320
We could leave this till some other
time, if you like. What a good idea.
127
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:05,080
Just don't ask me to sing in front
of it... Danny! Shut up, Kettles!
128
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,040
Douglas!
129
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:17,640
I KNOW it's only got one sleeve!
Why do you suppose we got them all back?
130
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:39,360
Where's the bag with the rest?
I gave it to you.
131
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,920
Several havenae any sleeves at ALL!
132
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,200
Where's that message bag?
133
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:54,480
You left it on the bus. What?!
134
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,880
What one of you's Mr Clockerty?
135
00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:04,440
Hazard a guess (!)
Are you one of the people responsible for THIS ?
136
00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,760
No, I'm kiddies' nightwear.
137
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,520
Mr Cairns says
you've to see yourselves off the premises.
138
00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:20,320
What are these for anyway...?
A funeral service?!
139
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:32,960
No, the invalid already had
his napper down the lavvy
140
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:37,920
while Big Jazza was still on stage
doing his number... And CUT ! >
141
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:44,440
More volume, Donny. She's just asked
for less! And it's 'Danny', Dougie!
142
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,960
Right.
143
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:51,600
How're we doing, Kettles?
What are you up to?
144
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:57,840
He was your brother, for God's sake.
And stop colluding with HER !
145
00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,600
I'm NOT !
146
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:06,920
Danny! >
She's paid to do a hatchet job. You aren't. Aw, shut up!
147
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,160
We'll do this next bit inside, OK ?
148
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,720
It's only rock 'n roll, Suzi.
149
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,640
Where did you say, sweetheart?
150
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:21,200
Archie, what about >
moon-lighting this next one?
151
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:26,080
Don't think I'm trying to upstage
the accident by wearing this!
152
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,800
Hey, Kettles, I was just saying...
153
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,040
(Where is she?)
154
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:38,000
If this is a close-up,
I want my hair done.
155
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:42,040
SEAGULLS CRY OVERHEAD
156
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:08,720
"..Ach am faic thu seo,"
arsa Padraig Eirisgeach.
157
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:13,720
"An tractar ur le dosar
air an t-sroin aige."
158
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:17,400
"Putaidh seo rud sam bith,"
arsa Padruig.
159
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:22,440
" 'Se phutas!" ..Where's Dennis
away to? The wagon's gone.
160
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,240
Vincent! I'm talking to you!
161
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:32,880
Turn the volume up.
I can't make out what he's saying.
162
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:37,000
Never heed what HE'S saying.
The wagon's no' there!
163
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,600
You might have gave us
a shout.
164
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,920
DENNIS! Are you no UP yet? Shush!
DENNIS !!
165
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:49,760
Shout louder. He's away to Glasgow.
Can I turn this over? Just try it!
166
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:55,800
Glasgow! I'm meant to be fetching
the family off the Arran ferry!
167
00:13:55,800 --> 00:14:00,000
Him and Danny's away to Glasgow.
There was a phone call last night.
168
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:05,360
That's a better-looking bus >
than we've got!
169
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:10,240
WHAT phone call ?
Frae Eddie. 12.30am.
170
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,600
You and Vincent were still
knocking it back with the landlady.
171
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:19,040
Can I turn it to the golf now?
No, shut up. What's on in Glasgow?
172
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:22,880
Do YOU know anything about this?
173
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:29,760
I'll kill him. I TOLD him I needed
the wagon. I'll have to get a taxi.
174
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,080
Are you THERE, Mrs Mulholland?
175
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:38,840
How come they're talking funny?
Is this "Round Britain Quiz" (?)
176
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,360
< MRS MULHOLLAND !
177
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:50,640
Fud, go and phone me a taxi,
then phone Eddie's office and find out what's going on.
178
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,520
Hurry up! All right. All right.
179
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:57,560
Come on! Come on! MOVE it!
I'm going!
180
00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,680
Tell 'em I want it straight away.
181
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:05,040
You want WHAT straight away?
The TAXI !
182
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:11,680
LOUDER:
Ach cha robh dragh aig Coinneach. "Tha'n t-uisge anns an einsean."
183
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:18,160
Why are they talking funny? 'Cos
it's for weans! How should I know?!
184
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:22,760
PLIP PLOP OF RAINDROPS
185
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:27,840
"Sin thu fhein." "Tapa leat!"
D'you want to come and eat with us?
186
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,880
Do you want to...? No, I'm OK.
187
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,920
You havenae seen our Joseph in ages.
188
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,800
I cannae. I'm waiting for Glenna
to pick us up.
189
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:42,080
You're waiting for WHO ? You heard.
190
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,400
What's up with your features?!
191
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,000
WHERE is it your taxi's gaun? >
192
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,640
The ferry! WHERE ?
193
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:58,920
THE CAR FERRY !!
194
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:03,960
I don't want to see her face
at this gig... OK ?
195
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,080
OK, Vincent?
196
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,200
It's up to her.
197
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:15,480
It's on its way...
Oh! I've missed the ending!
198
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:21,000
Did you phone Eddie? Oh, I forgot.
Go and PHONE ! OK. OK.
199
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,320
What was it about again?
200
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:28,360
Ask him what they're doing in
Glasgow and why we know nothing about it.
201
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:33,200
You shouldnae be so paranoid.
Everything's no' a conspiracy.
202
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:39,800
No, just one or two things,
Vincent... Just one or two (!)
203
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:44,040
That's why I gave 42nd Street
the elbow. Cut!
204
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:48,000
OK, sweetheart?
Fine.
205
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:53,040
That was terrific, Danny. Thanks.
Come and let me buy you a drink.
206
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:57,600
I wonder where my transport's gone.
I can drop you off.
207
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:03,080
Come on. There's a pub just down
the road. One drink, that's all !
208
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:04,640
Aye, OK.
209
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,520
So long as you promise
not to molest me.
210
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:14,200
Where HAS Stupid Appearance gone?
Didn't she say? The roadie, I mean!
211
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:19,440
I could go off you. Go on.
You're only saying that! True!
212
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,800
Did I hear somebody mention
a drink?!
213
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,680
Mind your tootsies. Thank you!
214
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,200
Is Bomba away? I spoke to Janice.
215
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:47,240
You know what they went back for?
(I'm glad Bomba's no here!)
216
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:52,680
To make a TV movie...all about
Danny boy. So Janice said just now.
217
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:58,000
She's kidding you on! Danny boy?!
It didnae sound as if she was.
218
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,000
Don't be daft!
He's away back to see his bird.
219
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:08,480
A TV movie?! AND...they've got
these T-shirts with his face on 'em.
220
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:15,160
Ask her yourself. T-shirts? Majestic
T-shirts are the only ones I know.
221
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:22,920
Majestic T-shirts havenae his kisser
all over them. She's pulling your leg!
222
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,880
Did she sound like she was? Nope.
223
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:35,480
She must be. I'll talk to her.
She'll say the same.
224
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:39,440
He's got his ain TV show
and his ain T-shirts.
225
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,440
Bomba's gonna be RIGHT vexed.
226
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:46,280
Bugger Bomba. I'M vexed!
227
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:51,000
See if this is true...his own
TV show and T-shirts?
228
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,200
I'll sort HER out! Don't say I
told you!
229
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:59,320
Vincent!
DOORBELL >
230
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,920
Some welcome, this (!)
231
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,720
< Oh, no!
232
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,720
It's no' Bomba's day!
233
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:23,280
Hey, Doll ! He's on the phone
about the TV show.
234
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,560
VINCENT - it's her!
235
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,480
GLENNA:
Thanks (!)
236
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,240
RING RING
237
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:40,840
You'd better answer that.
238
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:47,640
They know the shop's open.
It's Vincent! Any sensible person would have given up by now.
239
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:54,440
It may be Cairns. I was only away
for 2 seconds and what happens?
240
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:59,160
He asked me straight out!
What was I supposed to tell him?
241
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:03,440
Office security!
I should tell lies, you mean?
242
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,560
YES ! ..No... Yes!
243
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:10,960
If needs be. I'LL answer it!
244
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,560
If it IS Vincent, I'll tell him
it was a mistake about the T-shirts.
245
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:22,240
It's no' as if we've got any anyhow.
And what are you going to say about the TV, Miss Smarty-pants?
246
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:26,080
Don't be daft!
They'll see it when it comes out!
247
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:31,280
And you said they were all going
to be in it. So what's the beef?
248
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:38,120
The beef is that while Danny boy's
presenting his kisser in full technicolour,
249
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:42,600
the Majestics are only appearing
in scratchy 8 mm black and white,
250
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:46,280
shot in Dalmarnock 20 years ago
251
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:50,680
by Mrs Clockerty and her Brownie,
you stupid girl!
252
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:54,240
How was I supposed to know that?
253
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:59,120
You HEARD me telling wee Tommy
'archive footage', right?
254
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:05,080
I'm a drapery assistant -
no' Film Buff of the Year!
255
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,880
'Archive footage' (!)
256
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:11,520
PHONE FINALLY STOPS RINGING
Listen!
257
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:16,120
What? What do you make of that?
258
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:20,160
You don't pay me to think.
Work it out yourself!
259
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:24,680
The minute I get your redundancy
money together, you're fired, my lady. Aw, shut up!
260
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:31,760
No answer. Hiya! What's this
about a TV show? I told you!
261
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:36,960
He said something about a TV show.
I told you it was a big mistake!
262
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:40,560
Say hello, then.
I've just driven from Glasgow...
263
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,520
You can drive us back up. Come on!
264
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:49,680
WHAT ?!
You break the news to Bomba, Fud. < What about the gig?
265
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:54,560
I'll be back in plenty of time.
I want to sort this out with Eddie.
266
00:21:54,560 --> 00:22:01,560
We're really going to Glasgow?
Are you not being a bit hasty? Maybe it was a joke.
267
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,520
Drive! Bomba won't like this!
268
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,920
Bomba can stick it up his...nose.
269
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:14,760
Danny boy is out and the doll's in.
In WHAT ? Drive, I said!
270
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,880
Bomba won't like this!
271
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,400
Danny boy either, come to that.
272
00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,520
Thanks, Kettles, you're a chum.
273
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,840
And you, McGlone, are an idiot.
274
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,760
You're too kind.
275
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:45,000
You're not just an idiot,
you're a nuisance.
276
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,760
How would YOU like it,
277
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:52,920
if I staggered into YOUR workplace
and was sick over the juke-box?
278
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:57,360
I was merely showing my contempt
for the record selection.
279
00:22:57,360 --> 00:23:00,320
What kind of state was SHE in?
280
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:06,040
Who's 'she'? The hatchet woman.
Oh, Sheena? Search me.
281
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:10,360
She had to go back to BH (!)
282
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:11,960
Ow-ya!
283
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:22,800
I dread to think what kind of fool
you make of yourself on the road... I bet you're wrecked every night.
284
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,840
God, if your mother
could only see you now...
285
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:33,960
Did somebody mention my mother?
What ABOUT my mother?
286
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:41,880
Did I tell you she was dead?
< SOUND OF RUNNING WATER
287
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,960
Where are ye?!
288
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:50,480
Likewise my brother...
and my father...
289
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,520
..ALL dead...
290
00:23:54,240 --> 00:24:00,720
You...are looking at...
(Where have ye GOT to?)
291
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,240
You are looking at...
292
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,440
You are looking at an
orphan, Kettles.
293
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:11,280
Get the togs off.
You're going under the shower. Eh?
294
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:17,280
1958...that's the year
the old man went.
295
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,800
Same year as Elvis brung out
"Jailhouse Rock"...
296
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:26,160
and Connie Francis charted with
"Who's Sorry Now?"
297
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:30,640
What're you doing?!
There's no hot water.
298
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:35,400
Did I ever tell ye how he died?
The immerser's on the blink.
299
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:40,080
He got hit by a painting.
Did I ever tell ye?
300
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,560
The shampoo's in the basin.
301
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,760
Exhibition...
302
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:50,200
Exhibition of Italian Surrealists,
Kelvingrove Art Gallery.
303
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,680
Give us your other leg up.
304
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:57,240
He bent down to get a squint
at a de Chirico...
305
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,440
and got hit with a Carra...
CHOKES
306
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:09,280
Don't forget
to take your socks off!
307
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:13,240
You should have seen the frame
of this thing... It was THAT wide!
308
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:17,880
You know what the Tallies are like.
309
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,000
It cracked his skull like a peanut.
310
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:26,360
Ah, my old bedroom! The fire's on,
you've got 5 minutes, then OUT !
311
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:34,480
Yup, the farra with the Carra
and the brurra in the Sierra. DOOR BELL >
312
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,840
Five minutes!
313
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:46,440
Don't tell me... He's in the shower.
I tried every pub I could think of.
314
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,480
< WA-A-A-AH !!
(Suffering God!)
315
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,720
What time's the gig at? 7.30.
316
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,680
Will we make it, do you
think? 'We' ?!
317
00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:00,280
I'm not letting him out of my sight
from now on...
318
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:06,320
The bottle of shampoo is in
the BASIN ! ..Coffee? Yeah, thanks!
319
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:14,760
How's it gone so far?
The tour? Don't ask!
320
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:19,480
Has he not said nothing?
He said it was a sell-out!
321
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:25,280
You're such a liar, McGlone! So are
you! You said the water was hot!
322
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,400
Hullo, Dennis. Where've you been?
323
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,560
Ah-ha! Coffee! I'll have mines
with milk and lots of sugar.
324
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:42,080
(This is the bird that's supposed
to be crazy about me!)
325
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,240
Wait here!
326
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:19,760
What d'you mean he's not available?
JANICE: Do you want it in writing (?)
327
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,960
Where is he? Up here?
328
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:31,320
Are you in there, Eddie...? EDDIE ?
329
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,960
See if I find out you're in there,
I'm going to get violent.
330
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,080
(I'll KILL that Janice!)
331
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:44,680
I know you're in there, you midden!
Open up and let's have a civilised conversation.
332
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:54,560
I can hear ye!..I can HEAR ye!
333
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,760
If that's the way you want it...
334
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,680
A-A-A-A-A-H-H !!
335
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,920
SMASH !!
(God!)
336
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:11,360
Vincent! Was that YOU knocking?
337
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,040
Oh, my God!
338
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:26,280
Then Joseph needs to have a go
on the dodgems, so we all go on.
339
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,080
I was glad to see the back of them!
340
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:35,080
You're lucky your lot's away
on this Poland trip.
341
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:39,680
I'll ask Mrs Mulholland for a pot
of tea. Is Danny boy back yet?
342
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:44,720
< Mrs Mulholland! Where's Vincent?
Did the girlfriend turn up?
343
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:50,840
< MRS MULHOLLAND ! Is that the time?
Are we not due for a sound-check?
344
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:55,000
I'll make the tea. Dennis'll do it.
345
00:28:55,000 --> 00:29:00,680
Come and talk. All I've had all day
has been the family jawing away...
346
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:04,760
What did Eddie say? I'll do the tea.
347
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:09,400
Never mind the stupid tea!
Come and tell us what gives.
348
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,160
Did the lovely Glenna turn up, eh?
349
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,240
What WAS Danny doing in Glasgow?
350
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:21,680
Where's Vincent?
351
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:26,280
Did you talk to Eddie?
352
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,440
What's Dennis done with the wagon?
353
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,520
Aye and no...TV...
354
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,680
Don't know... No, Janice...
355
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,200
Cannae imagine. In that order.
356
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,760
Say again?
357
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,040
You might've helped us out and said
something at the time,
358
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:49,800
instead of letting us make such a
hash of it.
359
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:54,080
What d'you think I took you
on location for? Eh?
360
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,040
Oh, my noggin...!
361
00:29:56,040 --> 00:30:02,200
I DID say something but you were
too besotted with Fisher/Barbie Doll to listen!
362
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:06,200
"Yes, Sheena. No, Sheena.
Three bags full, Sheena."
363
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:11,640
Ha! I do believe you're jealous,
Kettles! Huh!
364
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:17,600
O-O-O-w-w-w !! To think I gave up
a promising career for this trip!
365
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,920
Get a grip! You've a show tonight -
or has that slipped your mind?
366
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,040
After all, it has been
an exciting day, hasn't it (?)
367
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:35,680
I used to fondly believe that
you and I had an affinity, Kettles.
368
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:41,120
But if this is the level of
unsubtle abuse you used to subject your cocktail bar customers to,
369
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:44,640
it's no wonder you got your jotters.
370
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:49,680
Let's get this straight. I did not
get my jotters... I resigned!
371
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:55,120
And why did I resign?
Because of YOU, you big dope!
372
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:59,320
Do you think I'm flattered?!
Hell mend you!
373
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:04,280
If this is going to carry on,
I'll bale out at the next fill-up.
374
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,600
It's her! It's him!
375
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:15,560
I don't believe this is happening.
376
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:19,040
I SAID, I don't believe
this is happening!
377
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:23,640
Sorry. I thought you were talking
to yourself. I might as well be!
378
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,760
I SAID, I might as well be!
Oh, aye.
379
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:36,200
Can you picture it at the Pavilion?
380
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,400
The climax of the
Silver Jubilee Tour...
381
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:44,480
Lights go down...
curtain goes up...ta-raaaa!
382
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:50,480
And a 12-year-old stands there,
out to here with Lover Boy's wean?!
383
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,560
We'd get lynched!
384
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,280
Eddie should be sorting this out!
385
00:31:55,280 --> 00:32:00,880
Forget Eddie! Whatever needs doing,
I'll do. Will ye? 'Course I will !
386
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:07,800
Good. 'Cos the guy at the Paradiso
said if the band isn't on stage at 7.25, you get knee-capped.
387
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,560
I get what?
388
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,600
Knee-capped. They get a drill and...
389
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:19,160
Why do I get knee-capped? What guy?
390
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,520
No' the one with the missing ear?
391
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:25,920
I thought if I explained the
situation to him, gave him your name and address...
392
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:31,080
What situation?! That one or two
might not make the gig.
393
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,240
Are you off your skull ?
394
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:37,480
You've drapped us in it now!
He sounded quite nice...
395
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:42,760
No, correction...ME !
You've went and drapped ME in it!
396
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:46,320
He's a nutter, this guy!
397
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:51,160
What the hell do we do? It's 7pm !
We'll see who turns up.
398
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,200
Will you quit choking us now?!
399
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,600
Suppose it's Vincent and the chick?
400
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,480
Then we go with the chick! God...!
401
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:04,560
You'd have a chick singer
fronting the Majestics?
402
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:10,120
If it means we can walk out
the Paradiso,
403
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:13,800
I wouldnae give a monkey's if
a chick PEA fronted the Majestics,
404
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:17,840
as long as it could open
its gub! OK...
405
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:23,760
OK, I'll go with that, just as long
as I don't have to be civil to her!
406
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,000
Civil to her?!
407
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,760
OK, OK...I know. Vincent's
upset, too.
408
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,520
What if our Noreen found out?!
409
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:35,480
Aye, well, she hasnae, has she?
410
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:39,640
Let's keep it like that. All RIGHT !
411
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:48,560
I'm beginning to hope it's that
sleekit swine McGlone that gets here.
412
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:52,480
Whoever it is, I hope they get a
bloody move on!
413
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,040
Can you not go a bit faster?
414
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:07,600
No, and don't talk to me
while I'm driving.
415
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,480
See THAT !
416
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:16,120
How are we feeling?
Stitches still nipping?
417
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,960
Can you not talk
while I'm driving?!
418
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,320
What're we doing here, anyway?
419
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,120
TRYING to get to Ardrossan (!)
420
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,600
YOU drive, then! A-A-AH ! Steady!
421
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:33,800
Cut that! I'd drive if I hadnae got
40 stitches in my flaming scalp!
422
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:37,840
Did you want cremated
when you go, Mr Clockerty (?)
423
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:41,720
What's she saying? >
Nothing! Shut up?!
424
00:34:41,720 --> 00:34:44,720
Take a telling, Miss Toner.
425
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:46,920
Just carry on, m'dear.
426
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,640
You don't still have
the handbrake on, do you?
427
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:56,720
Who-o-a-a-ahh !!
428
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:08,000
You don't like rock 'n roll,
You just want to go to the cinema,
429
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,720
And sit there holding hands!
You're so square...
430
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:14,240
Baby, I don't care!
431
00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:17,440
You don't know any dance steps
432
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,480
That are new-oo-oo
433
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:24,520
I don't know why I love you
Like I do, do, do...
434
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:28,480
IN CLOSE HARMONY:
Dree-ee-ee-ee-eam...
435
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:32,360
When I feel blue
In the ni-i-ight...
436
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:38,040
When I need you
To hold me tight... Whenever I want you...
437
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:44,240
All I have to do
Is dree-ee-ee-ee-eam, Dream, dream, dream...
438
00:35:44,240 --> 00:35:48,000
DANNY AND SUZI:
Dree-ee-eeam!
439
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:55,560
I can make you mine
Taste your lips of wine... Any time, night or day!
440
00:35:55,560 --> 00:36:03,080
Only trouble is,
Gee whiz! I'm dreaming my li-ife away...
441
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:06,960
When I want you
In my arms,
442
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:10,960
When I want you
And all your charms...
443
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,680
Whenever I want you
All I have to do
444
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:18,520
Is dree-ee-ee-ee-eeam,
Dream, dream, dream...
445
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:22,120
..DREE-EE-EEAM !!
446
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:28,800
You never told us she could sing.
That was ME throwing my voice!
447
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:32,240
I didn't believe that she could...
448
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:34,920
Watch OUT !!
AAIIEE !!
449
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:48,600
SUZI:
What was that?! What? We nearly ran into a car! Car?
450
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:53,240
Did you not see it?
I never saw nothing.
451
00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:59,040
A mauve car, with people in it!
Well, there isnae a car there now.
452
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,600
I put it down to an under-active
thyroid, Kettles.
453
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:04,680
Ow-ya!
454
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:08,640
Riding along in my automobile...
Da-da, da-da, da-da!
455
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:12,000
My baby beside me AT the wheel...
456
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,440
I stole a kiss after a mile...
457
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:19,360
I couldnae unfasten
her safety belt!
458
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:23,040
Scooshing along in my calaboose.
459
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:26,920
Still trying to get
her belt unloose,
460
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:31,680
All the way home
I held a grudge...
461
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,280
SHEENA:
' "No Particular Place To Go"...
462
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:40,880
'..a rare film-clip of the Majestics
back in 1964.'
463
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:42,920
Spool through.
464
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:46,960
SPEEDED-UP SOUNDTRACK
465
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:53,440
From there.
'Known in the business as Big Jazza,
466
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:58,400
'he was a former amphetamine addict
and self-confessed alcoholic.
467
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:04,560
'I asked younger brother Danny,
who replaces him,
468
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:08,680
'what HE thought
of this unsavoury reputation...
469
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:13,760
'It was a real shock to discover
that Eddie Clockerty
470
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:17,920
had hyped their record into
the charts.
471
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,080
'I know that's happened before
AND since...
472
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:27,120
'But it was like finding out Hans
Christian Anderson was a werewolf!
473
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,880
'Or the Pope was a drag queen...!'
474
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:34,000
VOICE FADES OUT
Right.
475
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:39,640
I can run it again.
There's still some more footage I want.
476
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:48,160
- This Clockerty...
- You know him? - He once sold me a shirt - 29/11d.
477
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:52,440
"Washes well !" he said...
I hope you nail him!
478
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:03,840
Where would I see Vincent? I've just
come from Glasgow. Never mind.
479
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:07,200
Is all the gear set up, eh?
480
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:11,080
FUD ! Tell Danny boy to get a
move on!
481
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:18,720
We've no' got much time...
BOMBA !
482
00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:23,120
Is the gear set up?
Why's everybody fussing?
483
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,880
How's your knees?
Sorry?
484
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,920
Vincent'll know
to go straight there?
485
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:34,680
Who needs to swing a cat in it (?)
It's horrific.
486
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,280
She'll take it, Mrs Mulholland!
487
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,160
Where's Vincent? Still upstairs?
488
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:44,840
BOMBA !
< I'm coming! I'm coming!
489
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,680
What was it
before it was a boarding house?!
490
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,640
I hope that's you I'm looking at!
491
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:01,880
Get that motor started!
Come on, move it!
492
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,840
Goodbye, Mrs Mulholland!
493
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,400
C'mon, out into the van. OUT !
494
00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,960
Hurry up! We'll be late! Come on!
495
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,120
What about Vincent? He'll be there.
496
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,040
And she's no getting access to the
dressing room, whoever she is.
497
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,680
OW-ya!
498
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:23,720
I thought you said
Vincent was the charmer (!)
499
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:31,320
SILENCE...BROKEN ONLY
BY THE BAA-ING OF SHEEP
500
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,880
JANICE:
I don't see why it should be us that had to wait for the RAC...
501
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:41,880
I'M no' a member. You surprise me!
502
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,000
There was tons of room in that
jeep.
503
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,120
We should all have gone to hospital.
504
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:53,320
Look at my stockings!
That 'jeep' was a Range Rover.
505
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:57,800
It was extremely courteous of
the gentleman to phone for the RAC.
506
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:02,840
What's that funny smell? You're in
the country, Miss Toner!
507
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:08,560
No THAT funny smell! The other funny
smell... Smell it?
508
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,800
I can't smell anything.
509
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:14,680
Is it that stuff for your scalp?
WHAT stuff?!
510
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,440
A-A-AHH !! >
511
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,080
Oh, my GOD !
512
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,800
I TOLD you I smelled something! >
513
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,640
DISCO MUZAK
514
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:03,760
MY fault? You went back to Glasgow!
515
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:09,560
What about Vincent? If YOU hadnae
snuck off, Vincent'd be HERE now!
516
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,520
We've still got... Oh, my God!
517
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,520
I'll go and talk to these people.
518
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:19,920
You don't TALK to these people...
they talk to YOU, Danny boy!
519
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:24,800
Black 'n Decker! Black 'n Decker!
Shut UP ! Calm down!
520
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,360
Shouting does no good.
521
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:30,040
Maybe... Shut UP !
522
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:35,000
Maybe Dennis has stalled them. Aye,
he's good at that kinda thing (!)
523
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:40,360
Vincent wouldnae let us down, eh?
524
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,040
He'll be here. 'Course he will.
525
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,080
We'll give him another 5 minutes.
526
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:52,640
Dennis'll explain. No problem.
527
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,960
Black 'n Decker! Black 'n Decker!
528
00:42:54,960 --> 00:43:02,120
No problem, Mr Peebles.
If you paid for four Majestics, you'll get four...at 7.30.
529
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:07,240
I cannae think who could have phoned
to the contrary... OOH-YA !
530
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,840
(Come on! Come on!)
531
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:03,440
Stop footerin', Thomas! >
532
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:09,840
Stop footerin', I said!
533
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:13,080
He's an awful footer!
534
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:16,600
See that big man with a bandage
on his head?
535
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:23,160
I'll get him to take you away
to the Bad Fire if you don't behave yourself!
536
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:32,000
Mr Divver?
Diver. How is she?
537
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:36,200
We'll keep her in overnight.
In Ward 8.
538
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:40,240
Have you seen a doctor?
No, no yet.
539
00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:44,320
Where d'you think
YOU'RE going!
540
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:49,360
< How did he get his head
jammed in THAT ?!
541
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:53,240
WOMAN:
Because he's a wee footer!
542
00:44:53,240 --> 00:44:57,560
Well, that'll be the day
When you say goodbye,
543
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:01,320
That'll be the day
When you make me cry-y!
544
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:03,280
You say you're gonna leave me...
545
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:08,760
You know it's a lie,
'Cos that'll be the da-a-ay I die!
546
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:12,800
You give me all your loving,
Your turtle-doving,
547
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:16,240
And your mo-oney, too!
548
00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:19,360
You know you love me, baby!
549
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:23,200
And still you tell me, "Maybe!"
550
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:27,360
Well, that'll be the day
When you say goodbye,
551
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:31,000
That'll be the day
When you make me cry-y!
552
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:38,400
You say you're gonna leave me...
But that'll be the da-a-ay When I die!
553
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:42,160
INSTRUMENTAL BREAK
554
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:55,040
I'd prefer the drill
to these drainpipes!
555
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:04,640
Well, that'll be the day
When you say goodbye,
556
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:08,680
That'll be the day
When you make me cry-y!
557
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,960
You're gonna leave me?
That is a lie...
558
00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:16,000
'Cos that'll be the da-a-ay
When I die!
559
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:20,160
When Cupid shot his dart
He shot it at your heart!
560
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,760
So if we ever part,
Then I'll leave you!
561
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:28,600
You said you'd hold me
And you'd tell me boldly. And some day...
562
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,800
Never trust a bugger in a jeep!
563
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,040
D'you want to try giving it
a shove?
564
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:57,960
I often think your sense of humour
is somewhat misplaced at times, Miss Toner.
565
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:04,040
Aw, go on.
You've gotta laugh, haven't you?
566
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:12,520
(Oh, GOD !)
567
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,320
I'm fine...
568
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,960
They're only keeping me in overnight
for observation.
569
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:26,720
You'd better go.
570
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,560
So long as you're all right...
571
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:34,640
God, I didn't half get the wind up!
572
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:38,080
You were as white as these sheets.
573
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,400
Are you sure you're OK ?
574
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,560
I love you.
575
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:44,760
I love me, too!
576
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,720
Go! You'll be LATE !
577
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:03,520
Look after yourself. I want you up
beside me at the next gig. OK ?
578
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:06,120
OK ? Try and stop me!
579
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:08,400
Ssssh!
580
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:13,760
(Don't go and get caught! I'll be
in for you in the morning. Go!)
581
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:18,160
MOUTHS: I love you!
582
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:23,240
Bye, bye, Love!
Bye, Bye, Happiness!
583
00:48:23,240 --> 00:48:27,920
Hello, Loneliness,
I think I'm gonna cry-y!
584
00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:33,080
Bye, bye, Love!
Bye, bye, Sweet Caress!
585
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:37,480
Hello, Emptiness,
I feel like I could die-ie!
586
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,600
Goodbye, my love, goodbye!
587
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,320
There goes my baby
588
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:48,000
With someone new.
She sure looks happy...
589
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,600
I sure am blue.
590
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:53,160
She was my baby...
591
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,840
Till he stepped in.
592
00:48:55,840 --> 00:49:00,360
Goodbye to romance
That might have been.
593
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:06,920
Bye, bye, Love!
Bye, bye, Happiness!
594
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:11,600
Hello, Loneliness...
I think I'm gonna cry-y.
595
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:16,960
Bye, bye, Love!
Bye, bye, Sweet Caress!
596
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:21,360
Hello, Emptiness...
I feel like I could die-ie!
597
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:24,120
Goodbye, my love, goodbye...
598
00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:29,720
I'm through with romance
I'm through with love.
599
00:49:29,720 --> 00:49:34,680
I'm through with counting
The stars above.
600
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:39,560
And there's a reason
Why I'm so free...
601
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:44,200
My loving baby
Is through with me...
602
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:48,000
What're you playing at, Janice?
The Paradiso's THIS way.
603
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,120
And Glasgow's THIS way!
604
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:06,440
Give my love to the band,
Mr Clockerty! Bye! Janice!
605
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:15,640
SHEEPDOG GROWLS
606
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:25,120
JANICE !!
607
00:50:52,240 --> 00:50:55,360
SOUND OF TRANSIT DRAWING UP OUTSIDE
608
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:01,720
VAN DOORS SLAM
609
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:07,320
FRONT DOOR OPENS
610
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:16,520
< Aye, OK ! I suppose anything's
preferable to a knee-capping.
611
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,000
It depends on how you look at it.
612
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,080
Oh, look what's turned up! Vincent!
613
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:26,560
What have you done to your nut?
614
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:30,440
Is that a bandage?
Aw, there you are!
615
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:32,200
The boy's hurt.
616
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:36,760
What happened to you, Vinnie?
617
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,720
It's upstairs, Kettles! >
What did you do?
618
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:45,720
Oh...! I LIKE it, Diver!
619
00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:49,240
I LIKE IT !!
620
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:55,200
I've...just come from the hospital.
Oh... Sorry!
621
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:59,520
What was it, a frontal lobotomy?!
Shut it!
622
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:03,160
You could have killed her! ME ?!
623
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:07,000
Are you confusing me
with somebody? What happened?
624
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:13,080
If she's not OK... Steady, Vincent!
625
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:14,880
He's concussed!
626
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:20,080
Take it easy, old son!
I don't WANT to take it easy!
627
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:23,800
'Observation.'
You know what that means, eh?
628
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:29,440
(Either that or he's on drugs.)
Shut up!
629
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,920
See if anything happens to the kid,
630
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:36,240
I'm going to hold you
all responsible...
631
00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:39,280
..especially YOU, McGlone!
632
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:44,360
Easy...! HE'S a big kid (!)
633
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:48,280
Who hit you? Nobody hit us!
Leave go of us!
634
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:51,480
Regressive behaviour under drugs...
635
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:56,560
You can tell by his eyes.
LEAVE GO OF ME !
636
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:59,360
Leave go of him. YOU leave go!
637
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:06,360
Ah...! Somebody's going to get
their face punched in! Do you want an Aspro?!
638
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:08,920
I know what it is!
639
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:15,680
He's been for a hair-weave...
a follicle transplant, eh?!
640
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:18,480
You're asking for trouble!
641
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:23,120
Hey, KETTLES !
Come and look at Daffy Duck!
642
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,560
A-A-A-AH !! Get his legs!
643
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:34,040
Daffy Duck, right?!
WA-A-A-A-A-AHHH !!
644
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:46,680
BLEEP BLEEP
645
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:06,200
He had VERY severe diarrhoea.
646
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:09,680
As well as a fractured skull ?!
647
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:12,120
No - Bomba, I'm talking about.
648
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:15,200
I've never seen anyone so scared.
649
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:19,200
Not that you were yourself?
Me?! Of course, I wasnae!
650
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:24,440
That was just an act
to keep the others company.
651
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:29,680
As far as Bomba's concerned, Suzi,
you are now an honorary man.
652
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:35,520
You, McGlone, are going overboard!
653
00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:38,400
Aye, for YOU, Kettles!
654
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:42,560
There's a whole poop deck watching,
you moron! See if I care!
655
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:59,160
The doll looked good in drainpipes.
I don't want this getting out.
656
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:01,440
Her voice wasnae that bad, either.
657
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:07,160
If this gets out, we'll never be
able to hold our heads high again.
658
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,000
(Bloody chicks!)
659
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:15,400
Trouble...that's all they are...
660
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,040
Trouble!
661
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:26,560
It's only for another few days.
I'll be fine. It's just a precaution.
662
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:31,440
Was there a party after last night?
663
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,480
Aye, there was a 'party' all right.
664
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:39,240
Listen, Glenna... It's OK. I know
what you're going to tell me.
665
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:45,520
I told her not to bother
but she's got a week's holiday.
666
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:48,240
I should never have phoned her.
667
00:55:48,240 --> 00:55:53,040
Why can't she wait
for the Glasgow gig? It's OK.
668
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:57,080
Just promise me one
thing... Anything!
669
00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:01,480
Promise you willnae sleep
with her. ..What?
670
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:06,920
Promise me you willnae SLEEP
with her! But she's my wife!
671
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:10,440
PROMISE me! ( OK !)
672
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:14,800
Right, the doctor
will look at Mrs Diver now.
673
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:20,160
No, I'm not Mrs Diver...
674
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,480
..YET !
675
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:31,360
EDDIE:
I only wish I was exaggerating, Tommy... It was a nightmare!
676
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:35,520
By the time I got there, the arse
was hanging out my good shoes.
677
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:39,320
And when he heard about his car...!
678
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:47,040
And you know that lassie
Danny's got a crush on? It turns out... Mr Clockerty! >
679
00:56:47,040 --> 00:56:52,480
Hang on!
I'm on the TELEPHONE, Miss Toner!
680
00:56:54,360 --> 00:56:56,640
It turns out...
681
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,200
Someone for you. Hold on...
682
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:04,560
You can see I'm on the telephone!
What is it? An inside leg?
683
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:06,640
Hold on!
684
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:11,520
Tommy? It turns out...
They want to see you now! > Hold on.
685
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:15,440
I'm on the phone! Who IS it?!
686
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:18,480
They're frae the BBC.
687
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:20,080
I'll speak to you later!
688
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:26,360
Rockin' Thru' the Rye... >
174 - Take 1.
689
00:57:30,360 --> 00:57:35,440
MAJESTICS:
Gin a body digs a body, Rockin' through the Rye!
690
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:39,920
Gin a body digs a body,
Need a body cry?
691
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:44,880
Every lassie digs a laddie,
Nane they say hae I.
692
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:49,320
Yet all the lassies rock with me
When Rockin' through the Rye!
693
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:54,200
The Campbells are rockin'
the blues away!
694
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:57,000
There ain't no stopping 'em,
Man, they're bopping 'em!
695
00:57:57,000 --> 00:57:59,520
Gang awa', gang awa', go man go!
696
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:06,080
The bonnie lassie is on the beat,
The bonnie lassie is rockin' reet!
697
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:08,720
Let's go Rockin' in the Rye!
698
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:15,320
They'll be jumping in the heather
Like a knocked-out feather!
699
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:18,200
Hey, dig that crazy news! Hoot!
700
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:22,920
The Campbells are rockin'
the blues away!
701
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:27,920
Live it up! Live it up!
Live it up! Gang awa... Let's go Rockin' through the Rye.
702
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:31,880
INSTRUMENTAL BREAK
703
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:51,120
Maxwellton's braes are bonnie
And the bluebell's lost the blues!
704
00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:53,760
They'll be jumping in the heather
Like a knocked-out feather...
705
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:56,240
Saying, "Dig that crazy news!"
706
00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:58,760
The Campbells are rockin'
the blues away!
707
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:01,280
The Campbells are rockin'
the blues away!
708
00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:03,720
Man, let's live it up!
Live it up! Live it up!
709
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:08,360
Gang awa!
Let's go Rockin' through the Rye!
710
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:16,200
Gang awa'! Let's go Rockin'
Through The Ry-y-y-y-e-e-e-e !!
711
00:59:16,250 --> 00:59:20,800
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