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1
00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:06,680
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
2
00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:10,480
Tutti Frutti, oh-hhh, Rudy
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
3
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:17,880
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy,
Awop boppa-loo-bop, alop-bam-bom!
4
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:23,000
I've got a gal named Sue
She knows just what to do
5
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:28,160
I've got a g-a-a-al named Sue
She knows just what to do
6
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:31,160
She rock to the east
She rock to the west
7
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,720
But she's the girl
That I love best
8
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,440
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
9
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:41,440
Tutti Frutti-i-i-i, oh, Rudy
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
10
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:46,320
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
11
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,680
Awop-boppa-loo bop
Alop-bam-boom!
12
00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:04,680
BING CROSBY SINGS:
Oh, how h-a-a-a-a-ppy I would be
13
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:14,320
Where the blu-u-u-u-u-ue
Of the night
14
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:19,760
Meets the g-o-o-o-o-o-old
Of the day
15
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,720
Someone
16
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,280
Waits
17
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,680
For me-e-e-e-e-e-e...
18
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,600
DANNY SNORES
19
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,080
BING WHISTLES
20
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,560
WHISTLES ALONG
21
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:52,560
Huh? It's ten minutes to.
Come on, Danny boy, we're late.
22
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:57,480
Who let YOU in? Did you crawl in?
I've got your piano to pick up.
23
00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:01,200
Ohhhhhhhh!
24
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:04,680
Never believe that fried dumpling's
an aphrodisiac.
25
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:07,680
Chuck us them bags, will you?
26
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:13,680
Haw, Kettles! You no up yet?
If you mean the doll, she's left.
27
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,680
No prune juice, no?
28
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:22,640
Thank God! I can't stand
gazing at myself in a tumblerful of prune juice!
29
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,680
Is that my good shirt?
30
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,680
TAPE PLAYS, THEN GRINDS TO A HALT
31
00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:49,680
VINCENT STRUMS ON GUITAR
32
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:56,640
Do the older two no get jealous?
No really. Joseph sometimes hides their dummies...
33
00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:59,920
but apart from that...
34
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,200
Are you in tune wi' him?
35
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,640
You and Christine
are no getting younger.
36
00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:10,400
What's the third-degree for?
37
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,760
I remember you saying "So what?"
when Christine had them.
38
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,960
How come the sudden interest?
39
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,560
Eh?
40
00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,840
I'm interested.
41
00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,200
That's funny. You weren't before.
42
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:30,960
You said you couldn't be Godfather
'cos you were going to buy shoes
43
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,520
that day! I had to ask Fud.
44
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:37,440
Eh? See!
45
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:44,840
You asked HIM first?
He asked me, 'cos you were up getting drinks at the time.
46
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:49,440
Is that right?
Why would I want to be Godfather?
47
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,520
You have to renounce the Devil!
48
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,280
CLATTER
49
00:03:54,280 --> 00:04:01,040
That's hurtful.
As hurtful as him no doing it 'cos he's buying shoes?
50
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:06,640
If you must know, AYE! Oh, GOD!
You've been Godparent to our kids.
51
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:11,640
We never dreamt of asking Vincent.
Thanks a bloody lot!
52
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,400
BABY CRIES
Oh-oh!
53
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:18,840
You'd have them putting on lines
before nursery!
54
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:21,560
Hold it! He's playing bum notes.
55
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:27,640
BABY HOWLS
I knew it. Put the kettle on. I'll have coffee.
56
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:32,080
It's not FOR coffee.
It's for the twins' bottles.
57
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,680
Uncle Frank's
putting the kettle on!
58
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:39,480
BABY CRIES PITIFULLY
59
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,680
Go on, Fud.
That's heartbreaking.
60
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,680
I'm going! I'm going!
61
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,680
BOTH BABIES CRY
62
00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,840
I'm coming! I'm coming!
63
00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,680
We'll trade that one in and get you
a bigger one.
64
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:05,680
I don't want a bigger girlfriend.
A bigger KEYBOARD. Oh!
65
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:21,280
Ask the girlfriend to come in.
She must be bored sitting there.
66
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:25,000
She doesn't want to come in.
67
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:31,280
Going to hurry up wi' the coffee?
What's Bomba's sister saying to it?
68
00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:34,600
You no told her? You're no serious?
69
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,480
You and her were trying to adopt.
70
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:41,560
That was a long time ago.
I thought you might tell her.
71
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,160
It IS yours.
72
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:50,480
Aye, but no HERS.
You might think about it. I would, if I was you.
73
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,280
Sufferin' God! I can see her face!
74
00:05:54,280 --> 00:06:02,160
"Noreen, I got this bird pregnant.
But when it arrives, YOU sign the adoption papers." Good (!)
75
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:06,680
How're you doing?
I'm sterilising their bottles!
76
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,000
Think they'll want a rusk wi' it?
77
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:14,840
A what? Farley's rusk.
Ours were daft aboot them.
78
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:19,040
I enjoyed them myself!
79
00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:21,640
What are you hoping for?
80
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,560
I WAS hoping for a cup of coffee.
81
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:30,840
Gie's a chance.
I've only known since last week.
82
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:35,000
Wait till you've had seven boys!
I'd gie them ALL for a wee lassie!
83
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,680
YOU ask.
84
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,680
YOU ask.
I'm no asking. YOU ask.
85
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,120
Here!
86
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,240
Excuse me!
87
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,680
EXCUSE ME!
88
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,720
Yes?
89
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:07,680
Ye aren't, are ye? No.
See! I telt ye!
90
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,680
Gauny sign this for us anyhow?
91
00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:33,600
This is the Jubilee Tour practice!
92
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,160
Where the hell IS this guy?
93
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:43,600
Can I make a bigger hole in their
dummies for a rusk to get through?
94
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,000
What are you saying? The RUSKS!
95
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,680
The WHAT? The RUSKS!
96
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,520
GOD!
97
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,960
I found a corkscrew!
Stop shouting, Vincent.
98
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,720
Just a rusk in Wanda's.
The boy will only spit his oot.
99
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,160
Get up a minute.
100
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:23,280
If he's no here by 12, I'm off.
101
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,680
What are you looking for?
102
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:33,160
You'll get a lot of that kind
of attention with the Majestics.
103
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:38,480
No, no, don't you help me (!)
Save your strength for the tour.
104
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:43,680
First 3 nights, you live in hotels.
It's part of the deal with Carntyne Promotions.
105
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:46,680
After that, it's Eddie's shout.
106
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:50,680
You don't lug nothing,
I handle all the gear.
107
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:54,680
If you want cash - ask Eddie -
no me.
108
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,680
FUD:
Is it Pittenweem?
109
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,560
Naw! It's Cow & Gate.
110
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:05,640
The first gig of the tour,
is it Pittenweem?
111
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:09,800
Why do you want to know?
112
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:15,200
My old dear went to live there
with her sister when Uncle Frew died.
113
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,080
I'll let her know we're coming.
114
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:21,480
Your uncle WHAT ? Frew.
115
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:25,000
As in "Frew the glass" -
he wis a window cleaner.
116
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,680
BABIES HOWL
Cool it, you guys!
117
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:34,680
The joys of parenthood.
You're well aff.
118
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:38,680
You didn't touch
a packet of fags, did you?
119
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:43,120
Methil. Is that Serbo-Croat
for "Aye"?
120
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:49,680
Oh, you mean, MENTHOL?
Naw, just Embassy tipped. It's not Pittenweem, it's METHIL.
121
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,000
If Noreen leaves you...
122
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:59,840
ask Fud to marry you.
He's a born housewife, the boy!
123
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,240
Aww!
124
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:18,280
See the tribute to the big guy
in the Melody Maker? Naw.
125
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:24,680
Nothing very special.
"The late guitarist/vocalist
126
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:28,480
"will be replaced
by his younger brother, Danny,
127
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:35,200
"on keyboards, when the Majestics
hit the road." Bloody PIANO!
128
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:41,080
Don't forget to break their wind!
Mrs Mills and the Majestics. Bloody brilliant (!)
129
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:50,200
Did you get that
free wi' petrol ? It's an anniversary present
130
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,960
from the bird.
131
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:56,200
You said he wanted a rusk.
He's just spat it all over me!
132
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:04,880
I'll get a light aff the cooker.
A ninth WEEK anniversary present!
133
00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:07,680
Majestics twenty-fifth!
Aay-aa!
134
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:13,680
How're you getting back, Vinnie?
Back where?
135
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:17,680
To wherever you're parking
your toothbrush.
136
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:22,440
What if Danny don't show up?
It's nearly 12.
137
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,800
I'll drop Glenna off first.
138
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:31,320
Then I'll pick Noreen up.
That'll really surprise her.
139
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:35,680
'Specially if you've no got
a motor. Eh?
140
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:38,640
Must have got browned off. What?
141
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:43,160
She could have given the twins
their elevenses.
142
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:46,160
Fond of kids, is she (?)
143
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:51,680
What album?
Eddie never mentioned an album.
144
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:54,880
You mean, like you buy?
145
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:59,120
"The first twenty-five years."
Cliff done his recently.
146
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,280
Wonder where SHE'S off to
in such a hurry? Who?
147
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,360
Vincent's bird. She just passed us.
148
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:13,240
Probably rushing to get
her order in for the album (!)
149
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,320
What happened
to the wee fella's nose?
150
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,680
Wanda's cutting her front teeth.
151
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:29,200
Want to see if Dennis turns up
wi' Danny?
152
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:34,080
Or do you just want to chuck it?
What an attitude!
153
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,000
Fud?
154
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:42,680
Just pack it, eh? Might as well.
Ma water blister's are coming back. Look.
155
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:48,400
What do you want to watch?
Open University or the golf?
156
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,240
Get that off!
157
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:55,400
We've got six days
before we hit Methil. SIX DAYS.
158
00:12:55,400 --> 00:13:02,480
Stop coming it! Five minutes ago
you were going to drop the bird off and pick up Noreen!
159
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,800
"Six days till we hit Methil"!
160
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,080
And then it's Pittenweem.
161
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:15,480
Followed by 23 other dates
before we make a go for it...
162
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,440
at the Glasgow Pavilion!
163
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:40,760
Tell me something, Fud...
them kids...the ones you've been
164
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,400
stuffing full of Cow & Gate...
165
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,120
What about them?
166
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:51,360
Tell the boy here...
who do they look like?
167
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,680
Go on. Tell him.
One another. They're twins.
168
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:57,240
Aye. Fine.
169
00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,520
Who ELSE do they look like?
170
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:03,600
Tell Vincent, there. Who else?
171
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:08,840
Let me think... For Gawd's sake!
ME, ya eejit!
172
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,480
There's a funny thing... SHUT UP !
173
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,600
What I'm trying to establish...
174
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,160
is that they're mines...
175
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,680
and THIS is MY house.
176
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,560
Right? Right.
177
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:31,680
Then what is HE turning aff
the TV set in MY house for?
178
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:35,680
Here... Get that OFF.
179
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,880
Well ?
DOORBELL RINGS LEAVE IT !
180
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,520
DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN
181
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,240
AND AGAIN !
182
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,360
Bet they're all watching TV.
183
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,240
Come on! This is getting heavy.
184
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:03,680
It's Sparky and his Magic Piano,
and Sparky is getting upset.
185
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:07,680
That should do the trick.
CRASH!
186
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,680
See? What in the name of...?
187
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:49,640
EDDIE:
Any tighter and they'd be a solo act!
188
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,560
I can't wait to get started.
189
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:57,440
Listen, I believe you've a contact
who can get black vinyl.
190
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,560
Is that right?
191
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:03,120
JANICE:
Don't ask me to do that again!
192
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:08,640
No, Tommy. Not for rainwear.
I'm talking about RAW VINYL.
193
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,160
I got you an extra week's grace.
194
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:17,320
After that,
you're getting prosecuted. What other colours are there?
195
00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:20,840
Probably won't get a tax rebate!
196
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:24,160
When you say "grey",
do you mean GREY ?
197
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:31,000
No, no. Grey's fine.
How much for a hundredweight?
198
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,360
This was all because
you were late.
199
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:39,320
That's right, blame ME !
HE chucked the guitar through the window...
200
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:43,760
AND fused the lights.
This is MY house.
201
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:48,080
If I want to fuse the lights,
I'll fuse the bloody lights.
202
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:56,920
Some practice!
There's only six days to go before we hit Methil.
203
00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:03,240
SIX DAYS. Steady, Bomba.
You're still on probation.
204
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:10,120
Any luck, Dennis?
Think I've located the problem.
205
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:11,480
Aagh!
206
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,080
Probation? I've signed a contract.
207
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:18,840
Ha! Hear that?
Signed a contract. Ha!
208
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:22,240
What do you mean, "Ha"?
Aaagh!
209
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:27,280
Amazing, Dennis.
What did you do wrong? What do you mean, "Ha!"?
210
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,840
COOKERY PROGRAMME ON TV
211
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,760
I'll plug in
the piano for you. Aye, fine.
212
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:46,760
CARN HORN BLASTS OUTSIDE
213
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,760
That's your taxi, Vincent.
214
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:54,080
COOKERY PROGRAMME CONTINUES
215
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:58,880
DELIA SMITH:
And I've got half an onion, chopped small...
216
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:03,120
'and sweated in butter...'
What am I DOING ?
217
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:08,720
I didn't come over here
just to watch Delia Smith stuff her capers!
218
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:13,520
TURNS TV OFF
Oh-oh!
219
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,760
Vincent!
220
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,520
RAISED VOICES FROM BELOW
221
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,960
What?
I...think...that's...your...taxi.
222
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,720
BOMBA:
I say when the TV goes off!
223
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,280
OK ? Right!
224
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,880
I'll give you the recipe!
225
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:58,680
SUZI:
I can't say, "I'm off for a month. Keep my job open."
226
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,120
It's not on. Why not?
227
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,280
Because I'm a cocktail waitress
228
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,160
with responsibility
for two stations.
229
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,840
Not a 29-year-old groupie!
230
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:15,440
Glenna's going.
231
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,160
Bully for Glenna.
232
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,400
Who the hell's GLENNA?
233
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:36,080
Vincent's girlfriend. You met her
at Big Jazza's benefit gig.
234
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:40,160
Remember? Bacardi and babycham?
That's her.
235
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:45,360
Good grief! She's about fourteen.
236
00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:49,280
I thought he was married. He is.
237
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,360
His wife's a Green Lady.
238
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:55,800
Like in Tretchikoff?
No. Like in District Nurse.
239
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,320
What's he doing with a girlfriend?
240
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,320
Or am I being boringly
"Home Counties"?
241
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,320
No. I find it morally wrong.
242
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,560
They don't have Green Ladies now.
243
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,160
Well, whatever the equivalent is.
244
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:18,720
She drives round the hamlets
with pills and pamphlets.
245
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,240
You should have asked her
for ointment for your lip.
246
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,720
Is it painful when you laugh?
247
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,160
I don't know. I've not had much to
laugh at.
248
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:39,120
What about putting your hand
in the chip pan? I wasn't laughing.
249
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:42,160
LAUGHING
Neither you were!
250
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,760
Aye, go on. Go on!
251
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:53,280
LAUGHING EVEN MORE
Sorry!
252
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:57,080
You'll wet that bed and then
we'll BOTH be sorry.
253
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,640
Chuck it. It wasn't THAT funny.
254
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,960
God it WAS, believe me, Danny!
255
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:07,160
Oh, God! Why are women so tickled
by guys' misfortunes?
256
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,120
This could affect my new career,
ya heartless bitch!
257
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,160
Don't! Sorry.
258
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,360
It was the look on your face!
259
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,880
SHE LAUGHS AGAIN
Sorry!
260
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,200
Here.
261
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,120
What do you say?
There's tons of room in the wagon.
262
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:36,160
Or you can go with Glenna
in Vincent's motor.
263
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:41,160
They're not all taking their wives
and girlfriends? Don't be stupid.
264
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:46,360
It would just be me
and the 14-year-old.
265
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:49,200
Stop calling her FOURTEEN.
266
00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:55,960
She's a grown woman.
An expectant mother, for God's sake! The rotten sod.
267
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:05,160
And his wife's stuck at home
with the kids? They've no kids. Something up with her tubes.
268
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:11,080
Makes it worse! I don't suppose
she knows about Lolita, does she?
269
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:17,480
You're kidding! She'd KILL him.
If she finds out, she'll kill the lot of us for keeping quiet.
270
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:24,400
So would I.
You're a despicable bunch.
271
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,160
Don't lump me in with Vincent.
272
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,880
I admire him even less
than YOU do.
273
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:36,240
Sorry. He can't get the chords
of "Sweet Little Sixteen" right.
274
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:40,160
And he's got the BOOK !
That's right!
275
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:47,640
Make a joke of it!
What have I said NOW ? What have you NOT said?
276
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,480
I was asking you to come along.
277
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:57,800
It's no going to be
sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll, more a family outing.
278
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:08,480
Aw, Suzi! I leave in the morning.
You said if I was good I could get into bed.
279
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,640
I'll not squeal
if you roll onto my sore hand.
280
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:19,600
Why do you keep getting embroiled
with these jerks, Kettles?
281
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,120
Su-z-z-z-z-z-z-i !
282
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,800
Goodnight, Danny!
283
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,160
What do you mean,
"Goodnight, Danny"?
284
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,120
I'm waiting!
285
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,040
It wasn't like this...
286
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,760
when the boys
were off to Flanders.
287
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,200
Even nice girls
did a bit of rumpy-pumpy!
288
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:51,680
Aw! GOD !
289
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,000
DENNIS:
If the motor packs up, I'm no stopping.
290
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,520
Guess what Eddie ordered
last night in this Greek dive!
291
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:09,240
What?
KEBABS !
292
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,840
Word of honour!
293
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,680
Kebabs! So?
KEBABS, Vincent.
294
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,840
What's up wi' kebabs?
295
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,040
KEBABS.
296
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:27,920
Talk about bad taste!
No offence, Danny.
297
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,400
What's up?
What?
298
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:34,880
Just wondered
why you were poking me in the back.
299
00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:39,960
She's still tailing us.
300
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:45,320
She's still tailing us!
I heard you.
301
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,880
Teresa was saying she's no seen you
since the funeral.
302
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,560
She was there, wi' Eddie.
Wondered how you were getting on.
303
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,360
I think he's talking to YOU.
304
00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:59,680
Oh?
305
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:06,240
She's still got Jazza's clobber.
She showed us a beautiful suit when we dropped her off.
306
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:10,560
It's going to waste.
I don't need clobber.
307
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:17,680
Mind that suit, Bomba?
The big man wore it to Joseph's confirmation. Beautiful suit!
308
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:21,320
She said you can have it.
309
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:26,160
I must get Noreen to drop by
for a blether with her.
310
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:33,160
She could take her some pamphlets.
What's he saying? "First Aid for the Recently Bereaved."
311
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,840
And you talk
about EDDIE'S bad taste!
312
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,680
Is that what you're wearing,
Miss Toner?
313
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:59,080
Yeah. What's up with it?
It's...eh...very eye-catching.
314
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,360
Oh, good. Is that us, then?
315
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:10,200
Don't you want to take a coat?
If it's your pals you're bothered about, don't.
316
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,600
I'll be tucked up in my bed
wi' a good book.
317
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:18,480
I'll no be bopping to a bunch
of has-beens wi' somebody old enough to be my grandfather!
318
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,280
Don't forget your parcel.
319
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:29,880
Eddie, what are you doing?!
320
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,040
Come on, Mr Clockerty,
we'll miss the train.
321
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:42,480
She's still following us.
Shake her off at the next roundabout.
322
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,360
What are you laughing at? Nothing.
323
00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:48,280
Same running order tonight? Aye.
324
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:53,320
As soon as they fling coal at us,
I run off, then you, then Fud.
325
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,600
I'm not sure how he can cope
with left hand rolls.
326
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:03,320
How could a piano player
stick his fist in hot fat?!
327
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:07,720
Especially when he has a try-out
with a top touring band.
328
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:11,320
Quit talking about "try-outs".
329
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:15,320
Even Fud's done nothing
THAT stupid.
330
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:20,920
It was an ACCIDENT. Really?
I thought you'd done it on purpose.
331
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:26,320
What would I do THAT for?
That's what I'm asking myself.
332
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:31,320
If you must know,
I was leaning over the chip pan,
333
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,600
when my front tooth fell out.
334
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:39,160
Naturally, I tried to retrieve it
before it contaminated the chips.
335
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:45,160
One more remark from you
and your kisser's going through that windscreen!
336
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,200
And any more remarks
about my sister-in-law, kebabs
337
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:53,160
or suits, and you're joining him!
338
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,320
Somebody mention kebabs again?
Aaaaaaagh!
339
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:06,520
EDDIE:
That...is...STUNNING !
340
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,560
Pass me some pins, hen.
341
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:16,920
How does the chassis feel?
A trifle roomy.
342
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,880
We'll soon have that rectified.
343
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:23,880
Pins, Janice.
Goin' to no grip that so tight? Janice!
344
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:29,600
You never asked me to bring
any pins. There are certain things you take for granted.
345
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:35,520
Hold on to this, will you? Tch!
346
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:42,880
Not too roomy under the oxsters?
Quite the reverse.
347
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,320
Owwwwwww!
348
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:50,160
I thought this was supposed
to be a holiday.
349
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:54,440
Did you have a pleasant journey?
Nice lads...
350
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:58,000
Do you mind? Do I mind what?
351
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,560
Standing here holding your bum
when I could be in the bar?
352
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:10,320
What do YOU think?
Pay no attention. She's getting her jotters. Try it!
353
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,320
What IS this stuff? Bacofoil ?
354
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:18,320
52 quid a metre!
We had it made for the big chap.
355
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:22,960
Shame he never got to try it on.
Oh, aye (!)
356
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:28,320
You know what this is? A hotel.
Don't be funny. You know.
357
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:33,320
Do I ? Blackmail, Glenna.
That's what it is - blackmail.
358
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:39,320
It's an ugly word "blackmail",
isn't it? Keep your voice down!
359
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:44,800
I should never have trusted you.
360
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:49,320
What do I know about the pill ?
Noreen and me never had to think about precautions.
361
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:54,320
Keep your voice down!
You're going home!
362
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,320
Home! Right? Right! Right!
363
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:03,320
You'll be wanting me to hold
doors open for you next!
364
00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,000
This is the 20th century!
365
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,840
You're not on! I'll go and ask.
366
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:13,920
You do and I'll... You'll WHAT ?
You'll WHAT ?
367
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,400
Just try it, Vincent Diver! Try it!
368
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:22,760
Keep your voice down. I'll go.
369
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,960
Just remember,
nobody asked you to come.
370
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,240
Life on the road is rough!
371
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,160
Not every place
does afternoon tea!
372
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,280
Sit down and let's forget it.
373
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:40,000
Vincent. What? Sit down, I said.
374
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,320
I'm going to get you
bloody afternoon tea.
375
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:48,240
First you want it, then you don't!
Make your mind up, Glenna.
376
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,600
Sit down. Stop working yourself up.
377
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,560
I don't WANT you to ask them.
378
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,880
I'LL ask them. Ask them! Ask them!
379
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:04,000
But they don't DO afternoon tea!
Get that through your thick skull.
380
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,920
I'm going HOME ! Too right!
381
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,800
Why are you such a pig to me?
382
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,840
They're in here!
383
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:21,080
We've just ordered afternoon tea.
Surprised you made it in that old banger.
384
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,160
Just been doon the Welfare Club.
385
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:30,760
You know we're no top of the bill ?
386
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:36,200
Just saying
we're no headlining this gig. Hope we're getting sandwiches.
387
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,320
Where's the big fella?
388
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,880
When are you heading back?
389
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:49,400
No headlining?!
Vincent says you sing. Right?
390
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:53,280
Noreen's got a fair set of pipes.
Who IS topping the bill ?
391
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:58,240
He came to our place
when they were winching.
392
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:03,320
Tell us! My old man had a Grundig.
Ask Bomba!
393
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:07,320
What's this about us
no headlining the bill ?
394
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:12,440
Aw, that? Ask Fud. He'll tell you.
He'll be in the toilets.
395
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:15,320
I'm going upstairs.
396
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,320
Haw! I thought you wanted
afternoon tea!
397
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:25,320
Don't worry, Vinnie.
I'll eat for TWO.
398
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:34,080
What do you suggest we do with it?
Make it into hankies? It wouldn't make hankies.
399
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,320
Sandpaper!
400
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:40,200
It'll look wonderful
under the lights.
401
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,200
If you don't upstage...
402
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,320
How are the trousers, Miss Toner?
403
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,320
Upstage WHO ?
404
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,520
Upstage WHO, Eddie?
405
00:32:54,520 --> 00:33:00,320
Sorry. You said, "If you don't
upstage...", then you stopped.
406
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:05,280
Did I ? You DID.
You did, Mr Clockerty.
407
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,320
He means the top of the bill.
408
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:10,800
Eh?
409
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:19,800
Where's that timetable?
You're on the next train, m'girl.
410
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,040
Eddie!
411
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:28,280
Our Silver Jubilee Tour...
and we're supporting WHO ?
412
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:33,000
Have a French cake.
No! Have you spoken to Eddie?
413
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,600
He doesn't like French cakes.
414
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:40,040
Him and that we creep Cairns
are to blame.
415
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:48,320
We're no here to discuss
who's top of the bill, we're here to discuss the girlfriend.
416
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:53,600
25 years in the business
and we've to play second fiddle to...
417
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,920
EXASPERATED SIGHS
418
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,360
What did you say?
419
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:05,840
We're discussing the GIRLFRIEND.
What's her name? Glenda.
420
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:11,280
Glenna. Double N, A.
Get it right!
421
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,960
What about her?
422
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:19,320
You're a bastard, Diver.
I never knew nothing about it.
423
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,040
You're nearly forty five.
424
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,760
Getting a school lassie pregnant!
425
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,720
Pick them cookies up, Fud.
426
00:34:28,720 --> 00:34:32,360
She's twenty three.
Shut your face.
427
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,720
What'll Noreen say
when she finds out?
428
00:34:36,720 --> 00:34:42,280
How's SHE going to find out?
You going to tell her?
429
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:48,320
Listen, Vincent, having a bit on the
side is one thing,
430
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:54,960
but when you go and do
the real dirty on my young sister,
431
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:59,440
who cannae have any kids...
Get stuffed! Dump her, Diver!
432
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:02,800
I'd get shot of her, if I was you.
433
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:07,040
Will I hell ! I asked her
to come on this tour.
434
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,680
An' she's coming - all the way.
435
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:14,240
Sort things out, or I'LL sort
them out for ye!
436
00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:17,800
My braces! You've torn them off.
437
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,320
I'll tear off something else
next time.
438
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,400
Something Noreen should have
torn off a long time ago!
439
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:29,160
Get rid of the bird,
and you might get to keep it.
440
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,360
Otherwise...
441
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,040
Away tae hell.
442
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:44,160
Sound check in 20 minutes.
You tell her. Right?
443
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:49,320
Da-ra! Well, what do you think?
444
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,200
What's up wi' HIS face?
445
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,360
I've just been told that we're
second on the bill...
446
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:03,800
Is there a dog in here?
French poodle. Here.
447
00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:12,080
After what happened?
Nothing happened. A ding-dong about afternoon tea, that's all.
448
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,920
You're staying. I'm not. Aye.
449
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:18,320
I'm not. Get your hands off
my good stuff.
450
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,840
Look...eh...I'm sorry.
You're not the only one.
451
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,200
Ouch-a!
452
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,040
Hell mend you.
453
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,320
I'm sorry I got mixed up
with the likes of you.
454
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:40,320
Out of my road. Glenna!
Don't Glenna me!
455
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:44,920
I should never have come.
You warned me, all right!
456
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,880
Get off!
457
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:50,560
I should never have been so stupid
as to think you'd be happy
458
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,320
for me to string along.
459
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,680
You know what YOU are, don't you?
460
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:06,840
A tenth-rate guitar player
and a first-rate bully!
461
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:10,320
I don't know how your wife
puts up with you.
462
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:14,760
Glenna... Glenna...
463
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,320
I'm leaving. No, you're not.
464
00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:22,880
I've got the car keys.
465
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,680
I'll get a train.
I don't need your car.
466
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:29,240
The cassette player doesn't work!
467
00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:32,000
Are you going to let me out? Nope.
468
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,920
Right!
469
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,560
AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !
470
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:41,960
AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH !
471
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,320
AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH ! Stop that!
472
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,880
AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH !
473
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:51,640
AAGH! You going to let me out?
474
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:55,320
Look at that! You've drawn blood.
475
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:58,320
Serves you right! Mind my clothes.
476
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:04,320
Ohhhhhhhhhh.
477
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,400
Och! Quit acting it.
478
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,320
That is PATHETIC.
479
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:17,320
Don't think you'll get me
to change my mind.
480
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,840
I've seen better acting
on Australian soaps.
481
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:25,320
If you want to phone me,
it's up to you. I might be in, I might not.
482
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:30,680
Och! Get up.
You'll get filthy off that carpet.
483
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:36,240
Bye, Vincent.
Not "so long", but GOODBYE.
484
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,400
Did you hear me? I said goodbye.
485
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:49,800
Vincent?
486
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:57,800
Vincent?
487
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,200
Gotcha!
488
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:08,120
PIERCING SCREAMS
Who's doing that?
489
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,600
Going to cut that out?
490
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:14,320
I'm trying tae listen
tae "The Magic Flute".
491
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,320
SCREAMS SUBSIDE
Thanks.
492
00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:29,280
What's happened to Vincent?
493
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,480
FUD:
Maybe him and the bird beat it.
494
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:36,320
DENNIS:
Naw, his motor's still in the hotel car park.
495
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:40,360
Why would he no open his door?
Ma knuckles are skint.
496
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,480
Maybe he was busy!
497
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:46,040
Vincent was looking put-out.
498
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:50,640
I can't blame him.
Some Jubilee Tour this is!
499
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,680
I feel like a balloon now.
500
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:57,240
Didn't matter WHERE on the bill
501
00:39:57,240 --> 00:40:01,640
the Majestics were going to be...
you'd ALWAYS look a balloon.
502
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:06,320
How're we doing, Dennis?
Give me a minute, eh?
503
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:11,720
I reckon we should have
a serious talk with Eddie.
504
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:16,280
This isn't how it appeared
in the literature. Forget it.
505
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:21,160
The only time we talked to Eddie,
we handed back our wages!
506
00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:25,320
DENNIS:
Talk about hard luck stories!
507
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:29,880
It's never Eddie's fault.
He'll blame Tommy Cairns in Carntyne Promotions for this.
508
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:38,760
He's still blames Cairns for oor
only hit single. How's that?
509
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:42,160
He says if Tommy hadn't bought
a' his copies in the one shop,
510
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:46,520
it would have went higher up
the charts. What did you say?
511
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:51,520
You're no telling me...?
512
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:55,840
There weren't enough mugs
going out of their way to snap up
513
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:59,200
the Majestics first single, so...
514
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:06,320
I'm shattered. Do you mean...
Set wee Tommy back four and a half grand.
515
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:11,160
An' I thought that the Majestics
had a top twenty hit. We did!
516
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:15,240
Number seven in the NME charts.
517
00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:19,120
I've just had the most horrendous
flashback...
518
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:21,880
Ma poor old Maw
running down to the Co-operative
519
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,640
wi' the page torn out the paper
to show the butcher!
520
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:26,440
The embarrassment!
521
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,880
She even showed the doctor.
522
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:35,560
"An' you said James was a
diabetic."
523
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:38,560
Got us on telly. Two years later.
524
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:45,240
When we brung out our follow-up.
I remember. Half the street was in, glued to the TV.
525
00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:49,520
What was it
Lennon said to you, Dennis?
526
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:53,640
About the Majestics? "If it hadn't
been for the Majestics,
527
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:57,000
"me and Paul would have worked
in an office."
528
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:03,600
There you go! Me and the wife
bumped into him and
529
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:07,040
Yoko in Toronto.
530
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:13,600
The Majestics were role models.
Right, Fud? I'm still no getting anything, Dennis.
531
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:20,480
Meatloaf's a watered-down version
of the big fella. Jazza used to bite the heids aff weans!
532
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:24,720
And that was BEFORE the gig!
533
00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:30,400
Eddie's been holding us back
for years. Him and Cairns.
534
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:35,720
Big Jazza going
didn't help matters, We were going to peak again.
535
00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:39,760
I was getting that feeling.
536
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:45,880
He should have held off
getting killed for a few months, until you had another hit.
537
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:50,680
He had a shaky sense of timing.
Och! I didn't mean THAT !
538
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:57,000
Don't go bitter on us.
I only meant it didn't help.
539
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:02,320
I thought this was supposed
to be a sound check, you?
540
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:10,240
Was it "Ready, Steady, Go"
we were on? Aye. Jazza got a date wi' Cathy McGowan.
541
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:15,320
But Vincent told her
the big man was a dope fiend...
542
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,480
and she gave him a dizzy!
543
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:20,720
Dennis, ma bum's getting sore!
544
00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:25,840
What was the number we done?
Don't tell me you don't remember!
545
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:31,000
OPENING BARS OF "PROMISED LAND"
546
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:35,920
Left my home in Norfolk, Virginia
California on my mind
547
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:41,480
Straddled the Greyhound
Rolling out of Raleigh Up across Caroline
548
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,160
Stopped in Charlotte
and by-passed Rockhill
549
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,880
Never was a minute late
550
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:52,200
90 miles out of Alabama
Heading for Georgia State
551
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:57,200
We're heading for some trouble
Half way across Alabam
552
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:02,200
I left my doll sinning
In downtown Birmingham
553
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:08,000
GUITAR RIFF
554
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:18,480
Coming down easy
Had to put the terminals on
555
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:23,640
Cut your engines
And cool your wings And let me make it to a telephone
556
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:31,840
Tell the folks back home
This is the promised land calling
557
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:35,040
And a poor boy is on the line !
558
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,240
Ye-e-e-e-eh!
559
00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:03,320
APPLAUSE AND CHEERS
560
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:12,760
Get some electricity into this.
561
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,320
I'm no getting
anything either, Dennis.
562
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,160
This piano's
sapping the voltage.
563
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:22,320
Where's Vincent?
He's got the book for it. Will I get him?
564
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:26,560
Naw! I don't want to see him.
565
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:30,120
What's he done?
Do you no know about it either?
566
00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:33,920
About her being pregnant?
I just heard.
567
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,200
Try that.
568
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:39,160
KEYBOARD IS NOW OPERATIONAL
569
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,320
If it blows up, don't blame me,
blame Vincent!
570
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,120
TWELVE BAR BLUES NUMBER
571
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:05,720
OK, then. I'll stay.
572
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:10,760
Naw, naw, Glenna, honey.
If you want to go back, you go.
573
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,280
I'll only go if you want me to go.
574
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:25,800
Never let it be said that I was
the one who wanted you to go back.
575
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,360
OK, then. I'll stay.
576
00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:39,320
Don't let me pressurise you.
577
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:42,320
If you want to go home, you go.
578
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,960
But I don't want to go.
579
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,200
I want to be with you, Vincent.
580
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:50,800
Yeah, I know.
581
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:54,840
I just want what you want.
582
00:46:54,840 --> 00:47:02,120
If you want to stay, great.
But if you want to get back... I just told you. What?
583
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:07,520
I want to be with YOU.
That's what you want, isn't it?
584
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,880
Isn't it, Vincent? Eh?
585
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,080
Sure. Sure, I do.
586
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:17,400
I love you.
587
00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:20,840
I love you.
588
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:24,800
God! Is that the time?
589
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:26,960
I'll have to go! What?
590
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,320
Yeah, I know. Me, too, babe.
591
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,000
I told you what Clockerty's like.
592
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:52,800
If I'm no there to oversee
the sound checks, he goes spare!
593
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:55,480
Starts talking about
docking wages...
594
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:00,320
They're such a bunch of puddin's.
595
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,240
It was bad enough when Big Jazza
was with us.
596
00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:08,520
So, you're going? I'm WHAT ?!
That's what we agreed.
597
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:22,120
Put your sweet lips
A little closer to the phone
598
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:29,320
Let's pretend
that we're together
599
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,320
All alone
600
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,320
I'll ask the man
601
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:40,320
To turn the jukebox
Way down low...
602
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:43,080
I can't stand this any more!
603
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:47,880
Got any tens? I want to catch
Kettles before she goes to work.
604
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:51,920
I was enjoying that!
I've only got one...
605
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:55,200
One's plenty. I just want
to tell her I'm crazy about her!
606
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:01,320
FUD:
I was quite enjoying that. Tch!
607
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:07,080
TELEPHONE RINGS
Oh!
608
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,320
RING
609
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:13,120
Yes?
610
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:15,920
Oh, it's you.
611
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:21,040
I thought it might have been
somebody else. Sorry, Jerry.
612
00:49:24,720 --> 00:49:26,760
No.
613
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:29,680
No. Tonight's fine.
What time would you like?
614
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,320
Nine o'clock's fine.
615
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,320
Yeah. Sure.
616
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:38,760
Right. Bye.
617
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,320
I must be off my head, doing this.
618
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,080
It's not as if
you're a teenage groupie, Kettles!
619
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:03,040
ENGAGED TONE
620
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:10,960
JAZZED-UP VERSION OF RUSSIAN MARCH
FROM "THE NUTCRACKER"
621
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:30,880
Excuse me, are you Mr McJestick?
There's a call for you.
622
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:35,320
Hello, caller,
I'm putting you through now.
623
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:41,680
Over there.
Sure it's for me? Don't be long. That's the taxi phone.
624
00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:43,520
Hello?
625
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:46,240
Naw, this is Vincent. Who?
626
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:50,840
Hello? Naw! VINCENT.
627
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:53,320
Diver.
628
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:55,840
Is that you, Noreen?
629
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,840
Who?
630
00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:59,920
Oh, HIM.
631
00:50:59,920 --> 00:51:02,360
Aye, if I see him.
632
00:51:02,360 --> 00:51:04,240
What did you say your name was?
633
00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:10,320
You're jokin'!
634
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:14,040
You want to change that.
I certainly would!
635
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:22,760
Aye, aye. I've got that.
He's got your number, has he?
636
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:25,280
Sure. I'll tell him.
637
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,520
Listen, Sadie, has anyone ever...
638
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:29,840
What?
639
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,920
Sorry. SUZI.
640
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:40,320
Has anyone ever told you
what a sexy voice you've got?
641
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,280
Well, I'M telling you.
642
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:45,280
What do you say you and me...
643
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:51,280
Hello? Hello?
644
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:58,240
Dolls! Who needs them?
645
00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:01,120
SHE DIALS AGAIN
646
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:05,320
Why are you doing this?
647
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:09,320
If he's going to phone you,
he'll phone you.
648
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,880
ENGAGED TONE
Dammit!
649
00:52:23,880 --> 00:52:28,280
What is it wi' jugglers?
20 minutes I've been queuing for the phone. He's STILL talking.
650
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:34,320
She never phoned YOU, did she?
651
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:40,040
That's true. Take my advice...
get yourself a hobby.
652
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:42,320
Where's the other two?
653
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:47,720
Bomba's getting a shirt pressed
and Vincent's being sick. I'm no the only nervous one.
654
00:52:47,720 --> 00:52:53,560
He's no nervous, he's just being
sick! Give me a fag.
655
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:59,280
Who are we on after?
The ventriloquist with the lifelike dummy, Fiona.
656
00:52:59,280 --> 00:53:02,080
I was trying to chat her up!
657
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:09,480
Get to know the backstage staff.
658
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:15,960
How's it going?
Don't tell us you're nervous. ME ? You must be joking!
659
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:20,400
Then I'd light that
from the other end!
660
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:24,320
You're...eh...definitely wearing
that suit?
661
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:27,080
It's the only one I've got.
662
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,960
Explain that at the start.
663
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:33,320
Vincent still no here?
664
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:37,560
He's being sick. Always is before
a gig. Och! It's an affectation.
665
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:42,320
Two minutes!
Where's Vincent? Being sick!
666
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:49,720
Don't say that with such relish.
That's the juggler off the phone. Too late!
667
00:53:49,720 --> 00:53:53,760
I've got two minutes.
Where's the 10p ?
668
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:57,800
Danny, check my collar's up
at the back.
669
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:01,360
Funny (!) Where's my phone money?
670
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,560
ON !
671
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:11,880
COMPERE:
Ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous MAJESTICS !
672
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:19,520
Don't touch the middle mike!
Two...three...four!
673
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:22,760
Ridin' along in my automobile
674
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:26,200
My baby beside me at the wheel
675
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:29,680
I stole a kiss
At the turn of a mile...
676
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:02,320
Where's the big guy?
677
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:07,800
They might not have liked HIM,
but they dug the outfit!
678
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:09,680
There ye go, Vince.
679
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,560
She got off all right,
the bird?
680
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:22,120
Cheers!
681
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:26,320
D'you want a refill, Fud?
682
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:30,720
PHONE RINGS OUT
683
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:35,920
...o'er the hills tae Gallowa'...
684
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:43,120
And we're gangin'
o'er the hills tae Gallowa'.
685
00:55:45,240 --> 00:55:47,160
Ach! Tae hell !
686
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:55,160
PLAYS LAMENT ON ACCORDION
687
00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:20,320
Told you it would look fabulous
under the lights, didn't I ?
688
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:23,720
What is it wi' dolls?
689
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:28,320
Now you're asking, Danny, son.
690
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:36,880
The very first night I met her
691
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:42,160
She was awfy awfy shy
The rain came poorin' doon But she was happy, so was I
692
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:47,880
We ran like mad for shelter
We landed up a stair Rain was poorin' oot ma breeks
693
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:50,800
But, och! I didnae care
For she's a fine wee lass,
694
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:53,560
Is bonnie wee Jeannie McColl
695
00:56:56,520 --> 00:57:01,760
I met her at a weddin'
In the co-operative hall
696
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:06,680
I was the best man
An' she was the belle of the ball...
697
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:09,640
THEY STRIKE UP A NEW SONG
698
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:23,320
Strolling through
the green fields On a summer's day...
699
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:28,720
I forget to tell the big guy.
700
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:31,240
What? Nothing.
701
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,680
It'll keep.
702
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:56,320
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
703
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:59,320
Tutti Frutti, oh-h, Rudy
704
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:01,840
Tutti Frutti, oh-h-h-h, Rudy
705
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:04,320
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
706
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:07,600
Awop-bap-aloo-bop
Awwwww-ooooooo !
707
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:27,240
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
708
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:29,960
Tutti Frutti, oh-h, Rudy
709
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:34,800
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
710
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:37,600
Awop-ba-ba-loo-bop
Alop-bam-bam
711
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:42,480
Got a gal named Sue
She knows just what to do
712
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:47,760
Got a ga-a-al named Sue
She knows just what to do
713
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:50,640
She rock to the east
She rock to the west
714
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:53,080
She's the gal that I love best
715
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:57,720
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
716
00:58:57,720 --> 00:59:02,880
Tutti Frutti, oh, Rudy
717
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:09,280
Awop-ba-ba-loo-boop
Alop-bam-boom!
718
00:59:09,330 --> 00:59:13,880
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