All language subtitles for The Family Pile s01e03 The Last Supper.eng

Hiya, sweetie-pie, it's only Mum.

Thought you might have landed
by now. Should have.

Maybe send me a text,
let me know you got home safe.

Unless you didn't.

Unless this is air rescue

and you've salvaged his phone
from the wreckage.

If it is, will you just
call me back, please?

I'd rather know the worst now

than be left tearing my hair out
like this.

Otherwise,
just when you get chance, son.

Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.

Right, I think that's everything.

'Kin 'ell. How much crap
does a four-year-old need?

I packed less
going on Marlon's stag.

Get your coat on, Pop.

Mm-hm.
Have you felt the weight of this?

This arm...

Oh, I see.

I take it yous two will be
clearing up all day, then, yeah?

I don't see what the rush is.

The buyers have got to
sell their place first.

And in Crocky?
Snob.

Come for the drive-bys,
stay for the cheap weed.

Is it, yeah?

How much are they charging
round there these days?

Ooh! Oh, thank God. Raymond.
He's landed back safely.

Might tell him
to ignore that last message.

Where's he been?
Ouagadougou.

Not according to Insta. Or not
unless they've moved the Sphinx.

Oh, Cairo, is it?

He tells this thing more than
he tells me, since Marco came along.

Oh, doesn't he look dead manly
on that camel?

Do you reckon?

Right, so we'll be back about, what,
one-ish?

Three, and not "ish".

Three? Really?

Babe, what am I supposed to do
with her all day?

She's your daughter as much as mine,
Greg.

Is she? That's good to know.

No, OK, I get the gist.
Come on, Popperella,

let's get you to the park.

Ah, have a lovely day.

Yeah, I'll try.
Bye.

Yeah, I was talking to Pop, but...

Oh, come on, Pop.

He keeps saying stuff like,
"Nearly six months now, babe,

"since your ma, so do you reckon
it's a yes to Stevo's 30th?"

Seems to think with grief,
you keep levelling up,

like Donkey Kong.

No. I need to go at my own pace.

Yeah.

Oh, for God's sake, Stuart,
put some effort in.

I'm more concerned about
putting my back out.

What's all this in aid of anyway?

I'm barely though the door
and he's got me hefting freezers.

We're still being hammered
by the leccy bill

and I just think the more
we can get unplugging... Don't.

Don't what?

Talk about unplugging.
Makes me think of Mum.

Would it not make more sense
to unload the thing first?

Possibly. Where did I put
that big roll of bin bags?

So much meat.
It's like Dennis Nilsen's wardrobe.

Seems a waste to chuck it.

"Product of Yugoslavia."

Hasn't been a sovereign state
since 1992.

It's weird, isn't it?

She'll have stocked this freezer
for the very last time

before she realised she had,
preparing meals that she'd never...

That's really cold.

I can't even remember
the last thing she said to me.

I remember with Dad.

He shouted at me
to get my indicator fixed.

I've still got
Mum's last voice message.

I've never played it.

You what? That could be important,
like our mother's dying wishes.

The thing is, it was such a rush
when she had her turn,

and when I finally spotted it,
I... I couldn't handle it.

Do you wanna listen to it now?

The two of us together?

Well, do you wanna listen to it now,
just the two of us together?

Do you?
Do you?

The thing is, if we don't...

..then there's still something
to hear from her.

Found them. Well, shall we?

Cornettos!

So, now that we're all here...
we've got some exciting news.

Just news, Stu.

Our buyers have accepted an offer
on their flat,

which means they're ready and
willing to exchange on this place.

You messing us?

As soon as poss.

What?
I know. Bastards.

How soon is "as poss"?

We said four weeks.

That's not as poss. That's imposs.

We'll never get this place
cleared in time.

More to the point, we're not ready.
Isn't that the same?

Emotionally.
When will we ever be?

It's not like we're gonna
wake up one morning and think,

"Sod the memories,
let's just get rid of the place."

Isn't it? You got it
onto the market quick enough.

You were practically calling
the estate agent from the wake.

I'm surprised they could hear you

through the mouthful
of sausage roll.

Any road,
that freezer won't empty itself.

Enjoy your ice creams.

What am I meant to tell Poppy?

She doesn't even know about
Mum and Dad yet.

What? Dad's been dead nearly a year.

Does she just think he's gone
on a mammoth trip to the shops?

She's not stupid.

We told her he'd gone on a lovely
long cruise, and then when...

Well, when Mum went, we said
she liked the sound of it so much,

she went out there to join him.
I might tell myself that.

What happens
when they never come back,

when they don't send birthday cards
or anything for Christmas?

She'll just say they fell overboard,

and they're happily living with
a family of mermaids.

That could work.

I'm just trying to protect her.

Trouble is,
it doesn't feel real yet.

The funerals felt pretty real.

With Mum and Dad, yeah...
but losing our childhood home,

that's a bereavement, too.

No shit.

You can't exactly bury a house.

Well, we could have
some sort of wake.

There is a freezer full of food
that needs to be flung.

Aw! Look at you!

Well, I think it's a brilliant idea
- one last big family bash,

like we've always done,
so you can all move on. Finally.

Will you do all Mum's special sides
and sauces?

What do you mean, "would I"? I've
got no idea what went into them.

A lot of foul language
when she was up against the clock.

I'd struggle to even guess. Most
of it didn't really taste like food.

Or look like it.

No, but we still had it
at every family do.

The purple sauce, that thing
that might have been potatoes.

It wouldn't be the same without.

So get Austin
to have a crack at it.

SHE SCOFFS

Your Austin?
Yeah. He's a surprisingly good cook.

He really wanted to apply for
MasterChef, but I told him, I said,

"That Monica Galetti is gonna make
fucking mincemeat out of you."

Well, I think we should do it
as soon as possible

because this meat's already
starting to defrost.

Well, it will,
if you keep unpacking it.

I know. Would tomorrow be too soon?

No. Raymond could come.
He'll be back from Cairo.

Suits me.

Won't you need to check with Austin?
What's it got to do with him?

A little advance warning
might have been nice.

Alternatives might have been nice,

this is the situation
we're stuck with.

Do you know how many times
I've googled,

"How to seem supportive
to a suffering wife"? Not enough.

Nowhere has it mentioned
catering a sit down meal

for a whole extended family
at less than 24 hours' notice.

They're taking advantage.

I offered.
Yeah. I didn't.

For God's sake, Austin.

The entire landscape of the family
is being rewritten.

If you don't make more effort,

we might find ourselves
completely ostracised.

They're your sisters
and they've known me for 20 years.

That's the problem.

What, they've said that?
They find me problematic?

Not in so many words, no.
It's more my take.

Wow.

Look, it's not just my family,
is it?

It's our whole social life.
If we don't come here most weekends,

or wherever else
they move on to next,

we'll just be at home, sat there,
staring at each other.

I will. I'll win them over.

Just you watch me.

God!

All right. Bye, bye.

Ah! Can be bloody helped.
Frigging Marco, the knob jockey.

Raymond can't make it.
Oh, why?

That country house up Preston way

they were all set to book
for the wedding? Hah.

Marco's gone digging on TripAdvisor.
Turns out it's haunted.

Ooh, boss!
Yeah, only by a wailing widow.

Even if she did manifest,
we'd never hear her over the disco.

But of course Marco's insisting
they check out alternatives.

Our Ciaron can't be bothered either.
Connor!

It's not like that.

My theory is, he just doesn't
wanna get caught blubbering.

He's far more sensitive
than he ever acts. Yeah.

He's in Southport now
with his mates, playing crazy golf.

Yeah, that's only to distract
himself from his inner turmoil.

Hey, hey, hey!

That's what I like to see...

..my family around me.

Plus...

How are we connected?

Nephew.

Ah. Nic!

Mwah. Mm...
No, no, one's fine.

Hey! Who do we have here?

The man, the myth, the legend.
Stu? Come on.

Ha-ha!
Ugh!

You're pushing a fork into my lung.

Oh. Don't seem to have drawn
any blood. Ha-ha-ha!

I can't be faffing about here,
hugging and kissing.

I've got serviettes to place.

Please excuse my husband's
unexpected bonhomie,

even if it is so sudden,
out of nowhere,

and completely
weirding everybody out.

Am I?

I'm just happy to see my family.

It's not exactly a happy occasion,
is it?

Oh, somebody's been busy.
Yeah, I was up till three.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

But, hey, it's a privilege
to do this...

What are we calling this?
Bye-bye, Nanny And Grampy's House.

Ha-ha! No, what are the grown-ups
calling this?

Bye-bye, Nanny And Grampy's House.

Well, it's an honour to do this...
thing that's currently being done.

And I mean that... from the heart.

Oh, God.

Are those spuds done yet, Stu?

We've done it just like Mum did.

It's exactly like.
Even went back to the old photies.

Ah, Ursh.
Forgot you used to be a Goth.

I was always a bit scared of ya.
I was never a Goth.

But...?

Weird lighting.
Oh.

And...?
No.

Maybe it wasn't the Gothiness
as such that scared me.

We are doing the right thing here?
We're not just torturing ourselves?

Bit from column A,
bit from column B.

Still two people missing, though,
eh?

Well, three,
with Raymond being AWOL and...

and Ciaron, so that's...
that's four.

We know what you mean.

Anyone home?

There she is!
Hello.

Say hello to your aunties.

Hiya, Pops! You all right?

Nic, is your Connor about?
Oh, yeah, he's through kitchen.

Sound. She's been desperate
to play with him all day,

haven't you, girl?
No. You have. She has.

What are you like, eh?

He spent two hours with her
feeding the quack-quacks

and thinks that's his job done
for the year.

I like your dress.
Oh, ta. But don't distract me.

He thinks, from today,
that's grieving completed.

Keeps sending me links
for city breaks,

"I'm liking Rome."

How's that gonna look on my socials?

Me, perched on the rim
of the Trevi Fountain,

looking like I'm poised
to chuck myself in.

I've got one like that,
from my honeymoon.

PHONE PINGS
Oh, here we go. Another one.

Bloody Krak-ow.

It's Krak-off, isn't it?
Krak-of.

Well, he can "fuck of".
THEY LAUGH

Don't! I'm angry with him.

New York
and he might have won me over.

To be fair to Greg,
it is nice in Krakow.

Dead cheap.

Mind you,
Auschwitz takes the shine off a bit.

Sick. Thanks, Uncle Greg.

Wan-ka, wan...
What did she just call me?

She's being a quack-quack,
aren't you, girl? Eh? Oh.

Why don't you go and waddle off
out into the garden,

and Con can be a big bad wolf,
who, if he catches ya,

he'll rip your head off at the neck.

That sound like fun?
Mm-hm. Go on, then.

Way too violent for a four-year-old.

Way too boring for me.
Oh, don't be tight, lad. Come on.

She's already quacked off.

Raaarr...

Ah, it's special, that, isn't it?
Eh?

The bond they've got.

Et voila.

You've left the eyes
in half of these.

Picky fuck...
You're looking smart, Greg.

Well, you know,
it's a special occasion, isn't it?

I thought we'd all
be making an effort.

What, you don't call this
making an effort? Jesus.

What have I got to do to get some
appreciation from this family?

Try dropping the attitude, for one.

I mean, I was gonna offer help,
but...

Don't!

Seriously. It's not worth it.

It's a brand-new shirt, this,
you know.

Well, I mean, it's been
hanging up in the wardrobe for ages

cos every time we get asked
to go out, Gaynor's like,

"Well, I can't face it cos my ma
and da are still too dead."

No, I'm defo not trying to say,
like, "Get over it."

I'm not, no, but it is something
along them lines, like.

Well, Nicole does keep telling me

that until you've lost
your own parents

you just can't imagine it,
and I have tried.

Frequently.

Well, here's a thought.

Why don't the three of us go out?
Huh?

Come on. Band of brothers.
In law.

We'd dress it up - three spouses
supporting each other

so we can better support them,
but really, Uber into town,

hit the docks.
The boys mean business.

Nah, no chance. Funny, you, lad!

POPPY CRYING

I'm coming, babe! Don't tell
your mum. I'm coming, I'm coming!

Oh, Poppy...

So you actually told her outright
that Nanny and Grampy were dead?

No. No.

Well, at first,
I said they went to heaven...

..but she didn't know
where that was.

Quite an abstract concept at four.
At 44.

She'd never even heard of it.

We wanted her
to make up her own mind.

Oh, but you were happy to tell her

that they're swimming around
with SpongeBob SquarePants?

I'm meant to just
never mention them?

No, no, no, no, no.
Of course not, son.

Maybe just a little less
than you do, be all right.

I thought she knew by now.

It's nearly been a year
since Grampy.

You don't have to tell us.

We just couldn't face
the conversation.

I tried a couple of times, but, er,
I needed a few bevvies first,

you know, bit of Dutch courage.

But in the end, it was, "Alexa,
play a bit of old-school garage,"

and we were making a night of it.

Oh, you should have asked me over.
Um-tss-um-tss-um-tss...

So when was it
that he walloped her one? I didn't.

I just thought, from all the racket
she was making...

It's cos he went and told her
about Mum and Dad.

Wait, you're not gonna unplug
the PlayStation again, are ya, Mum?

Again! Connor!

Nobody is blaming you, son.
Aren't they?

Well, they shouldn't be.
He's just a kid himself. I'm 12.

To be fair, it was getting
harder and harder

to find things for them to do
on that ship. I suppose.

I don't think she ever believed
they were into Thai boxing. No.

Erm, in case anyone's interested,

and I haven't been busting my balls
for nothing, grub's up.

Ooh!

Ha! Have you seen that?

Defo smash.

What?

I thought we were playing
Smash Or Pass.

It's a picture of our Nic
when she was younger.

Shit. Stu did well for himself.

You did well for yourself, Gregory.
Remember that.

Mmm, mate!

You are gonna have to show me
how to cook these. I can't.

I honestly believe
it's a God-given gift,

and I don't even believe in God.

I can't share what I do because...

I don't know what I do.

It's just a talent
I'm naturally blessed with.

The potatoes aren't quite the same.
What have you done with them?

Didn't burn them.
None of it's like our mum made it.

Thank you.

We were stupid to think
we could turn back the clock.

We'd already had the last
of Mum's cooking. Every cloud, eh?

Feel guilty enjoying this
more than Nanny's.

If your nanny was here,
she'd understand.

Do ghosts eat?
No, I'm saying if she hadn't died.

Oh. Why are we saying bye
to her house, then?

I'm just saying that Uncle Austin
is blatantly a better chef

and she just wouldn't
have a leg to stand on.

This is what we all need to do,
is just move on.

I mean, your mum
was an amazing mother-in-law,

but, I mean, come on,
she couldn't cook for shit.

No, no, no, no, it's only right that
we let her recipes die with her.

How about a toast to absent friends?
Oh, yeah.

By which I mean the dead ones,
not our Raymond and our Ciaron.

Yeah, we know, love, we know.

To Reggie and Sandra.
Reggie and Sandra.

To Mum and Dad.
To Nanny and Grampy.

HE DINGS GLASS

Ahem. I'd like to say a few words.

Really?
If I may.

Cos I think that's very
ill-advised...

I'm aware that you all find me
off-putting.

What?
Who said that? Ursula.

None of us think that.

No, no.

If I am, it's only because,
quite frankly,

I've always felt under-appreciated.

I was just getting
my rejection in first.

God, he listens to one podcast.

To see you all here
enjoying my food like this...

..I finally
feel like part of a family.

A slightly shrunken family
these days, perhaps,

but I sincerely hope that
once this place has gone,

we'll all still find somewhere
to gather together.

Me and my fambo.

Sit down.

Well, let's see, eh?

It seems like today is the day
for letting go.

I think I'm ready.

For what?

Mum's last voicemail.

You what?

You had a message from her
and you kept it from us?

Yeah, she did.
And you knew about it, too? What?

It got overlooked
in the last few days

and I've not been able to face it
since.

Yeah, OK. I see.

No, fair enough.

If I never play it,
if I never hear her last words,

then there'll always be a part of me
that won't accept the loss.

Oh, yeah, that's nice.

It's not a good thing.
Oh.

So, anyway, I...
I'd like to play it today.

Oh, Christ.

Oh, do you mind
if I go outside, please?

Don't wanna hear her voice.

Why, what's wrong with her voice,
lad?

Oh, shit, yeah.

Do you mind taking our Pop as well,
kid?

Come on, Pop.
POP: No.

Anyone else?

I'm fine.

I'll stay for you, babe, yeah?
Ta.

CONNOR: I'll take you out.

We can have a race
against the lawnmower. Come on.

MUFFLED TALKING ON PHONE

You might wanna pop it onto loud...

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

'Hiya, sweetie-pie, it's Mum.
Can you do me a favour?

'There's a thing tonight
on Channel 5 about Jimmy Savile.

'I always said never trust a man
in that much jewellery.

'Anyway, can you record it for me?

'Oh, Christ, that little camp nurse
is on his way over.

'Nothing against his sex life, but
he was practically doing jazz hands

'when he changed my catheter.

'Look, I'll see you
when you come in, love.

'Don't forget, Channel 5.
I'd hate to miss it.

'Ta-ra. Oh... I can't... Oh...'
HANGS UP

Good. Well, that's that.

Greg?

It's just hit me that, erm...
that she's gone.

That they're both gone.

Oh, babe.

HE CRIES

I'd actually convinced myself that
they'd gone on that fucking cruise.

Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0