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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,137 ["Love" by Michael Bublé playing] 2 00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,441 [gun cocks] 3 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,028 [loud burst] 4 00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:21,665 [people chattering] 5 00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:24,084 [sighs deeply] 6 00:01:27,505 --> 00:01:28,506 [man 1] There she is! 7 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,591 [cheering and applauding] 8 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,510 Gloria! 9 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:33,969 Hi. 10 00:01:34,053 --> 00:01:35,054 Welcome! 11 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,806 -You look great. -Thank you! 12 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,183 -Darcy, where have you been? -Hey! Hi! 13 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,811 I was just taking a minute. Is that allowed? 14 00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:43,270 Not at your wedding. 15 00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:45,856 -Your Ketel One martini. -Oh. 16 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,566 Obrigada, Jerome. 17 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,569 Where is the groomzilla? 18 00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,571 Tom is not a groomzilla, okay? 19 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:56,325 He just committed to making every detail perfect. 20 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:59,453 You should have taken your father's money for this wedding. 21 00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:02,957 Then, professionals would make everything perfecto for you. 22 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,750 Mom, I've told you. We are adults 23 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:08,671 and we wanted to pay for our own wedding so it could be what we wanted. 24 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:11,257 And this is what you wanted? 25 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,050 That was a printing error. 26 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,845 ["Love" by Michael Bublé continues playing] 27 00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:21,851 ♪ E is even more than Anyone that you adore ♪ 28 00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:28,482 ♪ And love is all That I can give to you ♪ 29 00:02:29,108 --> 00:02:34,697 ♪ Love is more than Just a game for two ♪ 30 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:39,159 ♪ Two in love can make it ♪ 31 00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:42,413 [drill whirring] 32 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:47,293 ♪ Love was made For me and you ♪ 33 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,711 -Hoy! -[clicking] 34 00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:49,837 Oh! Oh! 35 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,050 Oh! Hey! 36 00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:57,177 Oh, I almost shoot you! 37 00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:59,346 I thought you're a pirate but you're just a guy. 38 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:01,932 -[guard laughing] -[grunts] 39 00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:05,352 [sighs] Ah, this is for your bride, huh? 40 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:08,355 {\an8}[Tom] Yeah, trying to surprise her. 41 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,858 {\an8}I saw something just like it on Etsy, 42 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:14,361 {\an8}and it looked perfect, but now I'm not so sure. 43 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:18,157 Now, I wanna be romantic but not too corny. 44 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,075 There's a really fine line between the two. 45 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,495 Aren't you supposed to be over there? 46 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,749 Your rehearsal party. 47 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:27,917 Oh, my God! 48 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:31,545 I need you to talk to your father's yoga teacher. 49 00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,589 -Girlfriend? -Yeah, whatever. 50 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,549 She keeps smiling at me. 51 00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:38,594 Can you tell her to stop smiling at me? 52 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:39,678 Yes, Mom. 53 00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:42,139 I will tell Dad's girlfriend to stop smiling at you. 54 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,682 That won't cause any issues. 55 00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:46,560 Also, I cannot sit at a table with Tom's mother. 56 00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:51,231 On the boat here, she tried to start a sing-along to South Pacific. 57 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,108 She's excited. Okay? 58 00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:55,194 She's never been out of the country before. 59 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,946 What kind of a grown woman has never left the country? 60 00:03:57,029 --> 00:03:58,781 Please, Mom, for two days, can you just get along with... 61 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,199 Carol! 62 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,993 ♪ I'm gonna wash that man Right outta my hair ♪ 63 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:06,455 ♪ I'm gonna wash that man Right outta my hair ♪ 64 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:09,333 ♪ And send him on his way ♪ 65 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,126 [both laughing] 66 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,587 I've been looking forward to this moment 67 00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:16,131 ever since baby Tommy was cut out of my abdomen. 68 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:17,800 -[laughs forcefully] -Oh, my God, 69 00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,969 I have never been on a private island before. 70 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:22,680 I've never been even on an island before. 71 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,056 Actually, you know what? That's not true. 72 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,433 I went with the Heibermans. We went to Mackinac, you know, 73 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:28,185 before they moved to Bloomington. 74 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,771 Have you ever been to Mackinac, Renata? 75 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:33,899 I don't know what that is or most of the words you just said. 76 00:04:33,983 --> 00:04:35,985 [Carol] Wouldn't she just love it, Larry? 77 00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,403 Oh. Hi, Darcy. 78 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,487 Hey, Larry. 79 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,197 I didn't see you there. [laughs] 80 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,782 -Hi. -[Larry] Hi, Renata. 81 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,367 [Carol] Guess what? We got you a gift. 82 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,160 -Oh, you didn't have to. -[Carol] Yes, we did. 83 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,954 It's the biggest day of our lives tomorrow. 84 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,038 What are you talking about? 85 00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:50,374 -Come on, open it. -Okay. [chuckles] 86 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,836 -Larry, she's opening. -I get... Oh. 87 00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,170 Ah-uh-huh. 88 00:04:55,254 --> 00:04:57,297 Oh. Someone just left that in the bathroom. 89 00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:01,969 [Tom] Oh, you're a lifesaver, Margy. 90 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,429 I cannot believe I'm late for this. 91 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:04,805 The guests are already mingling, 92 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,933 and your Darcy is talking to both the mothers. 93 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,479 Oh, no. Go. Go, go, go, go, go, go. 94 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,107 [Darcy] Oh! 95 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,360 [Renata] You got my daughter rusty knives? 96 00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:20,571 It's your "something borrowed." 97 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,115 Everyone in our family uses them on their wedding day. 98 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:25,409 Brings you a lifetime of good luck. 99 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,618 Except for Uncle Greg 100 00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:29,413 who ended up getting decapitated on that forklift. 101 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,248 But that's not the knife's fault. 102 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,583 [man] Darcy! 103 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,084 Dad! 104 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,503 [praises in Spanish] 105 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:38,213 -Gracias. -[both] Mm. 106 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:40,424 -[Carol laughing] -Carol, you look lovely. 107 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,426 [kissing] Mm. Mm. 108 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,219 Larry, hello, sir. 109 00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:45,512 -[Larry] Hey! -I'm gonna kiss you too. 110 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,097 -Oh. -Mm. 111 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,099 -Sorry. Done? -Yeah, okay. 112 00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:52,186 Renata. 113 00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:54,021 Roberto. 114 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,858 I love that you two are still friends. 115 00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,735 -Peekaboo! [chuckles] -Oh. 116 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,111 Hi! 117 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,072 [both] Mwah. Mwah. 118 00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:05,240 Mm! 119 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:09,536 Oh, Darcy, I am so honored to bear witness 120 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,915 to this sacred observance of rebirth and devotion. 121 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,627 -Same. -Thank you. [chuckles] 122 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,713 [gasps] Renata. 123 00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:21,924 [dramatic music plays] 124 00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:26,095 I need to go to the ladies' room. 125 00:06:26,178 --> 00:06:27,596 [Carol] Hey, me too. 126 00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:30,724 When I'm in formal wear, I like to pee standing up. How about you? 127 00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,019 -Sorry. -That's okay. 128 00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:35,270 Thank you, Margy. 129 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,024 Oh, hey. 130 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,529 -Hey. -[Tom] How are you? 131 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:44,988 [Darcy sighs] 132 00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,783 -Oh. -[whispers] Oh, my God. 133 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,034 -That's for you. -Thanks. 134 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:50,452 Big papi. 135 00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:52,454 -My man. Mwah. -[Robert grunts] 136 00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,957 -This... I just... -Nice to see you, Dad. 137 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,126 -Señor. -Let's just, uh, stick 138 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,544 -with "Robert" for a little while. -[Harriett chuckles] 139 00:06:58,627 --> 00:06:59,962 -Right. Robert. -[Harriett] Tom, I heard 140 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,131 you were the one who found this incredible resort. 141 00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,091 -Yeah. I did. -Yes. 142 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:07,427 I actually study bioresonance, and this place is 143 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:09,012 teeming with energetic vibrations. 144 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,014 -[Darcy] Mm. -[Robert] It's just like 145 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,975 -our room teeming with bugs. -[both laugh] 146 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:17,354 The, uh, Four Seasons would've been nice, but you didn't want my help, so... 147 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,438 Some things are more important 148 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:19,565 -than money, Dad. -Yeah. 149 00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,233 That's debatable. [chuckles] 150 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,068 Well, I need another drink. 151 00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:24,361 -Yeah. -[speaks Spanish] 152 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,155 No, I'm good. Gracias. 153 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,489 [Robert] Okay, well... 154 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,366 I'm fine. 155 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,911 [sighs] Is he ever gonna like me? 156 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:36,123 Yes, if you just chill out and start acting like yourself. 157 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,126 [whispers] God, our families are a lot. 158 00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:41,545 -What do you mean? -And where have you been? 159 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,130 I was just finishing up a little project. 160 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:44,214 What'd I miss? 161 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:46,675 Oh, well, your mom gave me cursed knives. 162 00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:49,303 And then my mom almost yelled at my dad's girlfriend for smiling. 163 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,637 -Oh. -Oh, also, 164 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:53,557 your cousin, Amy, asked where she could charge her vibrator. 165 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,559 Oh, so, Cousin Amy came? 166 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,894 She will soon. 167 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,104 -[laughs] -Um, what are you wearing? 168 00:07:59,188 --> 00:08:00,272 Oh, it's, uh... 169 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:01,607 Why is your hair all wet? 170 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,108 Oh, I... I just... I... 171 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,527 You know, I went for a little moonlight swim. 172 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,237 You fell in the water, didn't you? 173 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,198 Yeah, I fell in the water. [laughing] 174 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:13,785 You know, it's kinda cute how bad you are at lying. 175 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,251 Just... Just promise me... 176 00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:25,255 Promise me, you won't let go of my hand for the rest of the night, okay? 177 00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:26,465 I promise. 178 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,675 ["Pony" by Ginuwine plays on speakers] 179 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:29,843 Ace. 180 00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:33,055 Ace just put on the honeymoon playlist. I need to change it. 181 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,182 Well, is "need" the right word? 182 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,725 -Dad, please. -[Larry] Oh, yeah. 183 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,311 [song stops playing] 184 00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:40,854 Tommy, Tommy, I need you for, like, five minutes. 185 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,105 -What? No, no, no, no. -It's an emergency. 186 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:43,607 I've been working on my best-man speech, right, 187 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,108 and it is going really well. 188 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,527 -Hi. -Hey. 189 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,447 -[imperceptible] -[music plays on speakers] 190 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,325 Dad's girlfriend just asked me what my love language is. 191 00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:55,452 She sucks. 192 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,621 Happiest I've seen you in 20 years. 193 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:58,789 -Thanks. -Cheers. 194 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,208 [helicopter approaching] 195 00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:09,383 [upbeat hip-hop music playing] 196 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:10,842 [Jamie gasps] 197 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,095 Dad invited your ex? 198 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,520 God! How does he just keep getting hotter? 199 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,106 Looks like he's leading a porn safari. 200 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,066 I didn't wanna invite him, 201 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:29,778 but Dad insisted because he said Bali was so close. 202 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,321 Wow. Wow, wow, wow. wow, wow. 203 00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,532 Dad is a messy bitch who loves the drama. 204 00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:36,868 [Darcy] Well, he never RSVP'd, so we thought we were in the clear. 205 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:42,207 I didn't think he'd actually come. You know, he never RSVP'd. 206 00:09:42,291 --> 00:09:45,961 No, that's a very, very cool move. I'm really excited to meet him. 207 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,547 Oops, looks like he was in a rush 208 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,340 and forgot to button his shirt all the way up. 209 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,508 Deedee. [exhales sharply] 210 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,759 -Hey, man, how are you? -Hey. 211 00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:54,636 Hi, Sean! [laughs] 212 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,723 [Sean grunts] I am so sorry that I'm late. 213 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,558 Your dad needed me to go to Japan at the last minute, 214 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,685 and then, you know, I had to charter a jet from Kyoto, 215 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,770 -just like a whole thing. -No, it's okay. We just... 216 00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:05,272 You know, we didn't know you were coming. 217 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,566 [Sean] Your dad and I wanted to surprise you. 218 00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,526 Look, babe, you know I wasn't gonna miss your wedding 219 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,070 for anything in this world, right? 220 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,947 -Sean, I want you to meet Tom. -Tom. 221 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:15,699 -Oh, hey! [chuckles] -Tom! 222 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,659 -Tom, Tom, Tom. -Sean. Yeah. 223 00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:18,785 -Nice to meet you. -Hey, Tom. 224 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:22,039 Man, I have been dying to meet Deedee's ball player, man. 225 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,332 What position you play? 226 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,167 -I'm a... Well, I... -He's a designated hitter. 227 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,586 [Robert] Uh, unfortunately, they didn't pick up his contract, 228 00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:29,546 so, technically, he's unemployed, but... 229 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,923 Cut from the minors at 40. 230 00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,718 That's a tough break, Tom. But if you stay positive, 231 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,012 you could have a really great future in coaching. 232 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,055 You know what I mean? 233 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:40,599 Yeah. 234 00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:42,642 That is an excellent idea. 235 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:43,852 -I think so. -Thank you. 236 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:44,936 Yeah. 237 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,066 Is it time for dinner? 238 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,359 [applause] 239 00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:53,487 We are so very touched that you all made the trek out here. 240 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:57,657 You know, we really wanted to pick a place that was convenient for none of you. 241 00:10:57,741 --> 00:10:59,326 [all laughing] 242 00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,911 You know what, I talk too much at the law firm. 243 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,998 So I am going to hand it over to the man of the hour, 244 00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:07,417 the guy who made this whole weekend happen, 245 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,628 my lovely Tom. 246 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,339 [cheering and applauding] 247 00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:15,300 Thank you. 248 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,302 -[man] Do it! -[woman 1] You go, girl! 249 00:11:17,386 --> 00:11:18,387 [Tom] Uh... 250 00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,055 -[woman 2] Yeah! -[whispers] You got this. 251 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:21,932 -Right? -[laughter] 252 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,016 I can just wing this, right? 253 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:26,853 Darcy talked a lot about, uh, her time in the Peace Corps in Bali, 254 00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,480 and I thought, you know, 255 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,107 how cool would it be if we got married there. 256 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:34,319 And then, I realized that Bali was un-Bali-vably expensive. 257 00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,571 [scattered laughter] 258 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,365 I think the Philippines are better. 259 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,699 -[guests clap] -Right, Ace? 260 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:42,369 Ace agrees. Next. 261 00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,247 -[woman] Aw! -[guests exclaim] 262 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,541 I know a lot of you were there to witness my proposal. 263 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,835 The shock and surprise. Priceless. 264 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,963 Anyway, Mom and Dad, I just wanna say thank you. 265 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,632 Your commitment is something that we can only aspire to. 266 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,843 -Oh, my God. -[Tom] Robert, Renata, 267 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:01,763 we hope our marriage is nothing like yours. [laughing] 268 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:05,642 Pivot, baby. [whispers] Pivot. 269 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:09,104 I mean, that's not a... a character judgment, by any means. 270 00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,898 I mean, 50% of marriages end in divorce, right? 271 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,442 -[mic feedback] -Ha! Wonderful. 272 00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,901 [chuckling] Cheers, everybody. 273 00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,361 -Cheers, cheers, cheers. -Cheers. 274 00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:17,612 [Tom clears throat] 275 00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:18,989 [jazz music playing] 276 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,365 Oh, my God. That did not go well. 277 00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:22,159 No, that was awesome. 278 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,161 -[glass clinking] -[music stops] 279 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:27,831 So Deedee and I met in the Peace Corps in Bali. 280 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:31,585 And one day, we had to run these medical supplies to this village. 281 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,379 I decided to teach her how to drive the boat, 282 00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:36,214 so I could sleep and she could do all the work. 283 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:37,757 [all laughing] 284 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:38,925 [Tom chuckles dryly] 285 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:41,386 The first time our girl gets behind the wheel, 286 00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:44,431 she gets a damn speeding ticket from the coast guard. 287 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:45,682 [all laughing] 288 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,268 Right? Deedee doesn't do anything half-assed. 289 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,061 She sees what she wants, 290 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:53,482 she goes after it, and she doesn't settle for less. 291 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:54,566 [Tom] It's true, it's true. 292 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,109 [Sean] So, as some of you may know, 293 00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:59,488 Deedee and I were, 100 years ago, were engaged. 294 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:01,781 But she called it off. 295 00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,617 [guests exclaim sadly] 296 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,577 No. No, no, no, no. 297 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,162 She was waiting for Tom. 298 00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:12,792 And that guy right there has gotta be a one-in-a-million supernova 299 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,628 to snag that beautiful soul. 300 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,129 -Thanks. -[all applauding] 301 00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,924 -Thanks, Sean. -So, in conclusion, 302 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,926 I just wanna say one thing to you, Deedee. 303 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,303 Katuk kak ci. 304 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:24,971 [laughing] 305 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,724 [all applauding and cheering] 306 00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:30,685 What's... Katuk kak what? 307 00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,771 Oh, God. Um, it's hard to explain. 308 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,106 It actually means, um, 309 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:37,734 "Fuck your grandpa." [chuckles] It's just... 310 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,319 Well, that's not that hard to explain. 311 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,197 Yeah, well, I don't know. Just, in Balinese, it's super offensive. 312 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,574 Yeah, well, it's offensive everywhere, no? 313 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:47,494 -Yeah. I mean... It just... -"Fuck your grandpa!" 314 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,579 -It just made us laugh. -It is funny. 315 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,915 -[glass clinks] -[woman] Hi, everybody. 316 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,042 I'm Tom's baby sister, Jeannie. 317 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,961 -Yeah, Jeannie! -Hey, Jeannie! 318 00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:58,505 Wow, Sean's speech, wasn't it somethin'? 319 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,757 [cheering and applauding] 320 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:03,093 [spray can hissing] 321 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:07,597 [Darcy] Honey? 322 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:13,728 Maybe we should just, you know, call it a night. 323 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,438 [Tom] No, babe, you go ahead. 324 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:18,733 I gotta finish these centerpieces and rearrange the seating chart 325 00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,944 now that Sean decided to show up. 326 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,156 -[grunts] -Tom! 327 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,200 Tom! 328 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,162 [whispers] Let's have sex. 329 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,668 Yes. Yes. 330 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,837 Just... Just... Just... Just gimme... Just... 331 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,922 I just have to finish these pineapples real quick. 332 00:14:43,174 --> 00:14:44,551 Okay. Um... 333 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:52,183 But do you really have to finish pineapples right now? 334 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,733 Oh, my God. I love you in a T-shirt and no pants. 335 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:00,817 [inhales sharply] 336 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,236 I'm just gonna reach over here, 337 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,615 this high shelf, so I can get something to read. 338 00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:10,160 Why is it so sexy when you can't reach high shelves? 339 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:15,332 -So, um... -[grunting softly] 340 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,875 I'm sorry, miss, but it was... 341 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,918 -It's this one here? -No, no, no. 342 00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,128 It's the one over there. 343 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,546 -Sir, please. -Oh, this one. 344 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:22,797 -This one. -Yes. 345 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,258 -That? -Thank you, sir. 346 00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:27,344 Okay. Glad I could help. 347 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,642 [Darcy giggling] 348 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,193 I miss you. 349 00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:46,696 It's been a while, huh? 350 00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,657 I know. 351 00:15:49,658 --> 00:15:50,867 I miss you. 352 00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:58,833 [Tom moans] 353 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,795 Could I ask you a question? 354 00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:03,880 Is it a sexy question? 355 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,341 Um... 356 00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:10,387 Just wondering why you called off the engagement with Sean again. 357 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:14,182 That is so not sexy. [chuckles] 358 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,685 I... I told you this. 359 00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:18,687 We were young, we were in Bali, 360 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,272 and then one day, I woke up and it just didn't feel right. 361 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,067 -Okay? -Okay. 362 00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:28,613 [Tom moaning] 363 00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,199 But you said yes. 364 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,077 You know, what changed your mind? 365 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,787 [Darcy sighs] 366 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,580 [chuckling] I don't know. 367 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,084 Uh, he... he started working with my dad, 368 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:45,672 he changed, and all he cared about was status and money. 369 00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,924 [chuckles] Anyway, why do you want to talk about my ex 370 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,634 the night before our wedding? 371 00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,887 I don't know. Maybe because you invited him to our wedding? 372 00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,472 Remember, I didn't. 373 00:16:54,556 --> 00:16:57,600 My dad asked me to invite him. What was I supposed to say? 374 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,018 I don't know. Uh, no? 375 00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:01,438 If you remember correctly, I didn't wanna invite anyone. 376 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,940 -I wanted to elope. -[sighs] 377 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,901 The only reason I agreed to a traditional wedding 378 00:17:06,985 --> 00:17:09,904 was because you said that we'd have moments alone. 379 00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:10,989 [knock on door] 380 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,199 Hey, hello. It's Carol. 381 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,745 Hi. Hello. 382 00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:19,122 Your future mother-in-law, Carol. 383 00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,332 [chuckles] Yep, I know your name, Carol. 384 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:24,461 I brought some of the extras for the welcome bags 385 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,838 in case you want to make one for Sean. 386 00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:28,339 [Tom] Oh! Oh. 387 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:29,883 Great. Thanks. 388 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:31,843 All right, thanks. 389 00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:34,512 Tommy, she's not wearing any pants. 390 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,182 -[gifts clatter] -I just want to ask, 391 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,100 and... and I hope it's okay. 392 00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,643 Is that genetics, 393 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,272 or is it, like, Pilates or something? 394 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:45,440 Mom, now is not the time for this. 395 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,942 [Carol] Yes, all right. But, you know, we need to get you outta here. 396 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,820 It's the night before your wedding, and you can't spend the night together. 397 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,947 -No, Ma, it's just... -You can't. It's bad luck. 398 00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:55,867 You know, his cousin, Jenna, she spent the night with her husband. 399 00:17:55,950 --> 00:18:00,038 Lo and behold, she got Lyme disease, and now she can't wear sandals. 400 00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,708 It's a tradition. 401 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:07,921 [snoring softly] 402 00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,223 [upbeat music playing] 403 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,947 [indistinct chatter and laughter] 404 00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:48,753 [bird squawking] 405 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:51,047 [suspenseful music playing] 406 00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:08,940 [pirate leader] Oh. Look at the happy couple. 407 00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,317 [man laughs wickedly] 408 00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:15,655 Where have you been? 409 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:17,907 You were supposed to do my hair. 410 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,285 Now birds are gonna lay eggs in it. 411 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,245 I know. I overslept. I'm sorry. 412 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:23,580 [chuckles dryly] 413 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,582 Kind of, sort of, slept with Ricky last night. 414 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,293 -Ricky? -Yes. I'm sorry. 415 00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,837 I just, I was in the mood for something, you know, that wasn't quite right. 416 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,839 Like ordering a hamburger at a sushi bar or something. 417 00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,133 I'm just gonna avoid him today. It's fine. 418 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,676 He's Tom's best man. 419 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,595 You two have to walk down the aisle together. 420 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:42,056 I am very good at ignoring people that I'm standing next to. 421 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:43,600 -No kidding. -Ready? 422 00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,894 I can't believe you agreed to wear Carol's wedding dress. 423 00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:47,520 -[splutters] -Okay. 424 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,481 -[Jamie blowing] -Okay, okay. 425 00:19:50,565 --> 00:19:52,567 You look beautiful, no matter what. 426 00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:55,612 She's ready! 427 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:56,654 [Jeannie] Hey, should we all do 428 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:57,906 -a round of tequila shots? -[sighs] 429 00:19:57,989 --> 00:20:01,492 [Carol] Well, I Scotchgarded the dress, so try not to inhale the chemicals. 430 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,411 [Jamie] Where's the veil? Where's the veil? 431 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:04,746 [huffs] Okay. 432 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,039 [Jamie] Well, yes, tequila. 433 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,582 [Jeannie] Unless we get the bottle, I'm not set. 434 00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,833 [Jamie] No, no tequila. 435 00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,168 Oh! 436 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,670 The prettiest of them all. 437 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,131 You look so much better than the rest of us. 438 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,967 This dress is just wonderful. 439 00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,552 I wore it for my wedding, 440 00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:23,806 Jeannie wore it for hers, and now you're gonna wear it for yours. 441 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,183 Oh, my gosh. 442 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,226 Look at you. 443 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:31,022 Oh, it's white coral made out of tissue. 444 00:20:31,105 --> 00:20:32,106 Um... 445 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,319 Something doesn't, you know, feel right. 446 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:37,904 [Carol] Do you think if we blew-dried the veil, 447 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,364 -it would be more fluffy? -Okay, so what I'm seeing is, 448 00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:40,531 I think that the left boob is actually slightly lower 449 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:42,033 -than the right boob. -Like floof, floof, like that? 450 00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:45,620 Hey, something kinda magical happened with me last night. 451 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:47,288 -Theoretically speaking... -[cell phone chiming] 452 00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,499 ...would it be weird or wonderful 453 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,459 -if we married sisters? -[cell phone vibrates] 454 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:52,794 Yeah, sure. 455 00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:59,050 [Ricky] Hey, psst, Larry. Tom's being boring. 456 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:00,635 Come film me doing a backflip! 457 00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:02,261 [Larry] Oh, I... I don't think I should walk. 458 00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,388 [Ricky] All right. 459 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,724 [guests chattering] 460 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,900 [suspenseful music playing] 461 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:28,579 It's time. 462 00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:42,885 Wow! 463 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,471 [sighs] Look at you. 464 00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:48,057 [soft music playing] 465 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:54,981 Okay. 466 00:21:55,982 --> 00:21:57,191 You wanted to talk. 467 00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:00,570 I know it's last minute. 468 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:03,031 I just... 469 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,702 I hated the way things ended last night, and... 470 00:22:08,411 --> 00:22:11,414 And I didn't want our wedding day to start off on a bad note. 471 00:22:13,916 --> 00:22:15,126 Oh, my God. 472 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:17,837 [sighs in relief] 473 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,756 God, I thought you were calling it off. 474 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,340 [Tom chuckling] 475 00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:23,342 Calling off the wedding? [scoffs] 476 00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:24,594 -Why? -Uh, I don't know. 477 00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:27,638 I mean, this weekend hasn't exactly gone to plan. 478 00:22:27,722 --> 00:22:30,516 You and I have been arguing more in the last few months than we did 479 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,185 our first four years together. 480 00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:34,145 [inhales deeply] I don't know. I guess I thought 481 00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:35,855 weddings were supposed to be fun. 482 00:22:37,065 --> 00:22:38,524 Oh. Okay. 483 00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:41,319 Well, I'm sorry I didn't make your wedding more fun for you. 484 00:22:41,402 --> 00:22:43,488 Well, no. That's... Darcy, that's not what... 485 00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:47,408 And it's not my wedding. It's our wedding. 486 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:49,368 Hardly. 487 00:22:50,244 --> 00:22:51,412 [sighs] Yeah, Tom. 488 00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:54,832 You got so fixated on the wedding that you... 489 00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:56,542 you turned into a different person. 490 00:22:56,626 --> 00:22:58,628 I'm sorry. I just wanted everything to be perfect. 491 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,963 Why is that so important to you? 492 00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:02,590 Why isn't it important to you? 493 00:23:02,673 --> 00:23:04,008 It's like you don't even care about the wedding. 494 00:23:04,592 --> 00:23:06,552 Well, I... Of course I care. 495 00:23:06,636 --> 00:23:07,762 Oh, yeah? 496 00:23:07,845 --> 00:23:10,014 You're the one that insisted that we pay for this wedding. 497 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,766 Yet I'm the one that's bargaining 498 00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:13,976 with all the vendors and DIY-ing everything, 499 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,687 and all you're saying is, "I don't know. It looks good," 500 00:23:16,771 --> 00:23:18,731 you know, "Sounds good, Tom. Whatever you want." 501 00:23:18,815 --> 00:23:22,276 I told you that I did not want a big traditional wedding. 502 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:25,696 Okay? I'm not some blushing bride. I'm a grown woman. 503 00:23:25,780 --> 00:23:28,032 I don't want my daddy walking me down the aisle. 504 00:23:28,116 --> 00:23:30,118 I don't need a big princess dress, 505 00:23:30,201 --> 00:23:33,371 and I certainly don't need a wedding registry. 506 00:23:33,454 --> 00:23:36,082 I have my things already. I like my things. 507 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,792 I wanted a Roomba. 508 00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:39,836 [guests murmuring] 509 00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:42,839 Well, she's not up in the lobby. 510 00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:44,215 I can't get through on my phone. 511 00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:46,717 Oh, my God. They've fallen in a ditch. 512 00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:48,928 What? And how do you know that? 513 00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,012 [Carol] I don't know. 514 00:23:50,096 --> 00:23:52,348 I just have a sixth sense about these things. 515 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:53,683 Ace and I will take a look around. 516 00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,643 Don't worry. We will find them. 517 00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:57,061 [Carol breathing heavily] 518 00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:59,147 -[screams] Check all ditches! -[Larry] God. 519 00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:05,236 I wanted it to just be you and me in the middle of the ocean. 520 00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:07,822 And for the 400th time, that would've killed my mother. 521 00:24:07,905 --> 00:24:09,532 Ugh. Right. 522 00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:11,200 And that's why I'm in your mother's dress 523 00:24:11,284 --> 00:24:13,870 with an extra 10 pounds of hair on my head. 524 00:24:14,704 --> 00:24:18,875 But the truth is, you have not listened to one thing I wanted since you proposed. 525 00:24:19,584 --> 00:24:22,587 Okay, well, Darcy, I'm listening. Enlighten me. 526 00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:25,089 What is it? What is it that you want? 527 00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:28,885 Tom, we've... We talked about this. 528 00:24:28,968 --> 00:24:33,347 I told you on our very first date, I didn't want a big wedding. 529 00:24:33,431 --> 00:24:34,473 Well, I thought you changed 530 00:24:34,557 --> 00:24:36,017 -your mind about that. -[sighs] 531 00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:38,352 Why did you even agree to do it then? 532 00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:42,899 Oh, I... I don't... I don't know! 533 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,609 Okay? Because... 534 00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:48,446 Because I love you. Because I... I w... 535 00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:50,573 I wanted you to be happy. 536 00:24:51,032 --> 00:24:52,783 [pirate leader] Go! Come on, move! 537 00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:54,952 Everybody, move! Come on! 538 00:24:55,036 --> 00:24:56,579 -[people screaming] -Move along. 539 00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:59,207 Go outside, go outside right now. Come on. Come on. 540 00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:02,043 If you don't wanna go through with this, 541 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,212 it's not too late. 542 00:25:04,837 --> 00:25:05,838 What? 543 00:25:08,424 --> 00:25:14,347 No. We brought everybody that we loved down to the Philippines for our wedding. 544 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:16,432 I'm in this dress! We're doin' this! 545 00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:18,517 Oh, that was beautiful. Are those your vows? 546 00:25:21,437 --> 00:25:22,480 Oh, my God. 547 00:25:23,898 --> 00:25:26,317 You convinced yourself that I wanted to call off the wedding, 548 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,652 and now you're making it happen. 549 00:25:27,735 --> 00:25:30,404 Oh, there you go. Lawyering yourself out of any real responsibility. 550 00:25:30,488 --> 00:25:31,530 [Darcy gasps] 551 00:25:31,614 --> 00:25:33,407 [intense music playing] 552 00:25:35,368 --> 00:25:37,495 [groans] You cut me with your ring! 553 00:25:40,248 --> 00:25:42,375 -Won't happen again. -[grunts] 554 00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:49,715 [intense music resumes] 555 00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:50,925 Great! 556 00:25:51,676 --> 00:25:53,261 [shouting] Why don't you go be with Sean? 557 00:25:53,761 --> 00:25:56,222 Maybe you guys could go bang some grandpas! 558 00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:58,766 [intense music continues] 559 00:26:05,773 --> 00:26:08,359 I don't know why. I have a bad feeling about this. 560 00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:09,944 [Larry] It's gonna be fine, honey. 561 00:26:10,027 --> 00:26:11,153 -[screams] -[all gasp] 562 00:26:11,237 --> 00:26:12,822 I think you might be overreacting. 563 00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:14,365 [screams] 564 00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:16,242 -[guests screaming] -[indistinct shouting] 565 00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:19,412 [pirate leader] Hold still! Get down, get down, get down! 566 00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:20,579 [all screaming] 567 00:26:23,165 --> 00:26:24,542 [whimpers] 568 00:26:25,293 --> 00:26:26,502 -[pirate 1] No running! -[gunshot] 569 00:26:26,585 --> 00:26:28,546 -[pirate leader] Everyone! -[pirate 1] Get down. 570 00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:31,757 [pirate leader] To the pool! Now! 571 00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:33,134 First rows, go! 572 00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:34,552 -Go, go, go! -[Carol exclaims] 573 00:26:34,635 --> 00:26:36,762 [pirate 1] Everyone, this way! This way! 574 00:26:36,846 --> 00:26:39,640 Come on! Come on! One line! Let's go! 575 00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:43,894 -[gunshots] -[indistinct shouting] 576 00:26:48,524 --> 00:26:49,525 [grunts] 577 00:26:52,987 --> 00:26:54,405 [frightened clamoring] 578 00:26:54,488 --> 00:26:55,781 Let's go! 579 00:26:57,658 --> 00:26:58,951 Darcy. 580 00:27:01,746 --> 00:27:03,873 -[pirate leader] Guys, go! -[pirate 1] Go, go, up there. 581 00:27:03,956 --> 00:27:06,292 [pirate leader] Up there! Up there! Go! Go to the end. 582 00:27:06,375 --> 00:27:08,044 -Go, go! -Everybody, walk! 583 00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:10,421 -[pirate leader] Keep going. -[pirate 1] Let's go. 584 00:27:10,504 --> 00:27:11,672 [pirate leader] Go! 585 00:27:11,756 --> 00:27:12,965 [guests screaming] 586 00:27:13,049 --> 00:27:14,508 [pirate leader] Keep moving! There you go. 587 00:27:14,592 --> 00:27:16,093 [pirate 2] Turn. Turn. Go! 588 00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:17,386 -[pirate leader] Line up. -[pirate 2] Keep moving. 589 00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:18,596 Line up, go! 590 00:27:18,679 --> 00:27:19,764 -[pirate leader] Now! -[Carol] No. 591 00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:21,891 [pirate leader] And into the pool. 592 00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:23,351 Now. Go! 593 00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:26,437 Go in. Faster, faster, faster. 594 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,564 -[pirate 2] Get in the water. -[pirate leader] Let's go faster. 595 00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:31,317 -[pirate 2] Drop the phone. -But my phone will get ruined. 596 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:32,651 I think that's the point, sweetie. Just drop it. 597 00:27:32,735 --> 00:27:33,861 Yeah, but I haven't backed it up in a while. 598 00:27:33,944 --> 00:27:35,529 -[Renata] Drop it! -Okay. Okay. 599 00:27:36,739 --> 00:27:38,491 [pirate leader] No need to be scared. 600 00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:41,994 As long as everybody follows directions, no one gets hurt. 601 00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:44,997 Raise your hand when you hear your name. 602 00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:47,458 Robert Rivera. 603 00:27:54,131 --> 00:27:56,342 Robert! Robert. 604 00:27:57,134 --> 00:27:58,427 They're calling you. 605 00:27:59,887 --> 00:28:01,263 Thanks a lot, Carol. 606 00:28:05,142 --> 00:28:07,311 -[pirate leader] Larry Fowler. -Present. 607 00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:11,941 I... I'm Carol, his wife. 608 00:28:12,024 --> 00:28:13,526 Just so you don't have to make two trips. 609 00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:16,695 Wait, wait. I'd like it in the center. 610 00:28:19,281 --> 00:28:21,450 Sean Hawkins. 611 00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:25,413 If you hurt anyone in this pool, you're gonna have to answer to me. 612 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:29,041 [pirate leader] Is this the hero of the group? 613 00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:30,709 [all] Yes. 614 00:28:31,419 --> 00:28:33,129 No. Oh, my God. 615 00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:34,505 [women whimper] 616 00:28:35,256 --> 00:28:36,966 There is always one. 617 00:28:38,634 --> 00:28:39,635 All right. 618 00:28:50,813 --> 00:28:52,565 [pirate leader] Where is bride and groom? 619 00:28:53,149 --> 00:28:55,568 [pirate 1] She's there. Isn't she the bride? 620 00:28:55,651 --> 00:28:56,652 Oh. No. 621 00:28:56,735 --> 00:29:01,031 Amanda thought it was appropriate to wear white to a wedding. 622 00:29:01,115 --> 00:29:02,450 I didn't know that was a rule. 623 00:29:02,533 --> 00:29:03,868 Yes, you did. 624 00:29:03,951 --> 00:29:05,870 -You're a gaslighter. -[Jeannie] Yeah. 625 00:29:05,953 --> 00:29:07,538 You see, this is a problem. 626 00:29:08,289 --> 00:29:10,374 They could call police. And if police come, 627 00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:12,543 we kill everyone. 628 00:29:12,626 --> 00:29:14,128 -[guests gasping] -[woman] Oh, my God. 629 00:29:14,211 --> 00:29:17,298 Okay, um, I... I saw Tom headed towards the nature walk before the ceremony, 630 00:29:17,381 --> 00:29:20,551 and I noticed that his frequency levels were dangerously low. 631 00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:22,219 I think he's getting cold feet. 632 00:29:22,303 --> 00:29:23,596 Tommy has cold feet? 633 00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:26,223 Is this really what we should be worrying about at this point? 634 00:29:26,307 --> 00:29:29,518 I'm a mother. I can worry about a lot of things at the same time. 635 00:29:30,269 --> 00:29:31,520 Like Larry's mole. 636 00:29:31,604 --> 00:29:32,813 [Larry] Oh, it's fine, sweetie. 637 00:29:32,897 --> 00:29:34,440 -[Carol] It's getting bigger. -[pirate leader] Spread out. 638 00:29:34,523 --> 00:29:36,484 -[guns cocking] -Look for them. 639 00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:44,700 Hey, uh, I... I... I texted you this morning 640 00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:46,452 and I didn't hear anything back. 641 00:29:47,870 --> 00:29:49,413 Are you being serious right now? 642 00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:51,624 No. No. 643 00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:53,375 [panting] 644 00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:54,585 [Darcy screams] 645 00:29:54,668 --> 00:29:57,046 [gasps] Darcy! 646 00:29:57,129 --> 00:30:00,090 -[Darcy grunting] -[Tom] Darcy! Hey! 647 00:30:01,634 --> 00:30:03,511 -[groans] -No, no, no, no. Darcy. 648 00:30:03,594 --> 00:30:06,055 -Darcy, I'm coming in. -Fuck off, Tom! 649 00:30:06,138 --> 00:30:07,264 Oh, thank God. 650 00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:10,851 Listen, I know you're mad at me right now, but you have to let me in. 651 00:30:11,185 --> 00:30:13,229 Why would I be mad? I'm awesome. 652 00:30:13,312 --> 00:30:15,481 I'm on a tropical island, I'm having a liquid brunch, 653 00:30:15,564 --> 00:30:17,691 and I don't have to answer to anybody! 654 00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,110 [indistinct radio chatter] 655 00:30:20,194 --> 00:30:23,113 [gasps] Oh, my God, this is not happening. 656 00:30:23,531 --> 00:30:25,533 Oh, it is happening, buddy. 657 00:30:25,616 --> 00:30:29,203 Okay? And once I get this hair condo off my head, 658 00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:32,623 I'm gonna march down to that beach and tell everybody how you blew this up! 659 00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:33,832 Shh... shh! 660 00:30:33,916 --> 00:30:36,085 Are you seriously shushing me right now? 661 00:30:37,127 --> 00:30:38,295 What the fuck? 662 00:30:38,671 --> 00:30:39,672 [Tom grunts] 663 00:30:42,675 --> 00:30:43,676 Is that blood? 664 00:30:44,009 --> 00:30:46,053 There's no time for a blood freak-out right now. 665 00:30:46,136 --> 00:30:48,055 -Don't tell me... -[shushes] 666 00:30:48,138 --> 00:30:50,849 -[muffled groaning] -There are pirates outside, 667 00:30:50,933 --> 00:30:52,601 and they took everybody hostage. 668 00:30:52,685 --> 00:30:53,686 [muffled] What? 669 00:30:55,145 --> 00:30:56,564 [indistinct radio chatter] 670 00:31:06,115 --> 00:31:07,616 -[gunshots] -[gasps] 671 00:31:08,784 --> 00:31:09,785 [grunts] 672 00:31:10,494 --> 00:31:13,455 -We have to get help. -[Tom] No, no. No. No. 673 00:31:14,832 --> 00:31:16,959 -The phone is dead. -Oh, the Wi-Fi too. 674 00:31:17,042 --> 00:31:19,211 Marge said the cell service is better on the north side. 675 00:31:19,295 --> 00:31:21,130 Why did you pick an island with no cell service? 676 00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:23,007 Because I wanted people to be present and in the moment. 677 00:31:23,090 --> 00:31:24,883 -[gunshot] -[gasps] Jeez! 678 00:31:25,634 --> 00:31:28,429 I can't breathe. [gasps] I can't breathe! 679 00:31:28,512 --> 00:31:29,388 I know. Me neither. 680 00:31:29,471 --> 00:31:32,266 No. I... I really can't breathe. It's the shapewear. 681 00:31:32,349 --> 00:31:33,767 Please help me get out of this dress now. 682 00:31:35,185 --> 00:31:36,353 Now! 683 00:31:36,437 --> 00:31:37,563 Would you relax? 684 00:31:37,646 --> 00:31:39,106 [whispers] What did you just say to me? 685 00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:40,441 I said everything's gonna be okay. 686 00:31:40,524 --> 00:31:41,942 Dress is like a riddle. 687 00:31:42,026 --> 00:31:43,485 -[gunshots] -Oh! 688 00:31:43,569 --> 00:31:45,571 God, I'm gonna die in this dress! 689 00:31:46,989 --> 00:31:48,991 Oh, door latches from the inside. 690 00:31:49,074 --> 00:31:51,118 He's gonna know we're in here. [grunting] 691 00:31:51,201 --> 00:31:54,955 He's also gonna know we're in here when he comes in here and we're in here. 692 00:31:55,039 --> 00:31:56,373 He'll think we're in the shower. 693 00:31:56,457 --> 00:31:57,958 What... What? 694 00:31:58,042 --> 00:32:00,502 And come back at a better time? Leave a note? 695 00:32:00,586 --> 00:32:02,379 -[shower running] -All right. 696 00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:04,882 Okay, h... here's the plan. He comes in, he's gonna think we're in the shower, 697 00:32:04,965 --> 00:32:06,592 then I jump out and I trap him in the net. 698 00:32:06,675 --> 00:32:08,093 Oh, my God, that's an amazing plan. 699 00:32:08,177 --> 00:32:09,219 -Yes! -No! 700 00:32:09,303 --> 00:32:10,554 You're gonna throw a net over a pirate? 701 00:32:10,638 --> 00:32:11,805 Have you ever tried to get out of a net? 702 00:32:11,889 --> 00:32:13,140 It's very hard to get out of a net. 703 00:32:13,223 --> 00:32:14,850 Okay. How about... 704 00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:16,977 How about this? I spray him in the eyes. 705 00:32:17,061 --> 00:32:19,730 How is hairspray in the eyes better than a net over his head? 706 00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:21,940 Wait! Yes, that's actually... 707 00:32:22,024 --> 00:32:24,109 That's actually... You spray that. 708 00:32:24,193 --> 00:32:26,070 I'll light the match. It'll be like a flamethrower. 709 00:32:26,153 --> 00:32:27,404 -I mean, it won't work! -Why? 710 00:32:27,488 --> 00:32:29,031 -Too many steps. -It's two steps. 711 00:32:29,114 --> 00:32:31,784 It's two steps. Flamethrower, net. 712 00:32:31,867 --> 00:32:35,079 I pop out and I put the net over his head. I'll surprise him. 713 00:32:35,162 --> 00:32:37,289 No, Tom, because bullets shoot through nets! 714 00:32:37,373 --> 00:32:39,041 -Technically, yeah. -Technically? 715 00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:40,584 Technically, he won't be able to shoot straight 716 00:32:40,668 --> 00:32:42,961 because he'll be all fuckin' wrapped up in the net. 717 00:32:43,045 --> 00:32:45,464 I swear to God, if you say "net" one more time... 718 00:32:45,547 --> 00:32:46,882 -[gunshots] -[gasps] 719 00:32:48,425 --> 00:32:50,511 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 720 00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:53,389 [gunshot] 721 00:32:57,810 --> 00:32:59,728 [whispering] Psst. Flamethrower. 722 00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:05,693 [suspenseful music playing] 723 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:10,656 [shower running] 724 00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:17,121 [whispering] I'm gonna fuck him up. 725 00:33:17,204 --> 00:33:18,330 I'm gonna fuck him up. 726 00:33:18,414 --> 00:33:19,915 [mouthing] 727 00:33:35,973 --> 00:33:37,182 [turns off shower] 728 00:33:37,266 --> 00:33:38,767 [screaming] 729 00:33:39,935 --> 00:33:42,020 [all screaming] 730 00:33:44,606 --> 00:33:45,899 [Darcy] Fuck! 731 00:33:45,983 --> 00:33:47,276 [pirate 2 panting] 732 00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:49,611 -[grunts] -[pirate 2] Ow! 733 00:33:49,695 --> 00:33:51,363 -Never mind! Never mind. -Why did you do that? 734 00:33:51,447 --> 00:33:54,116 -Never mind! -[both scream and grunt] 735 00:33:56,326 --> 00:33:59,538 -[groaning] You were right. -[panting] 736 00:33:59,621 --> 00:34:01,623 That hairspray was so much worse than the net. 737 00:34:02,791 --> 00:34:03,792 [Tom grunts] 738 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:06,962 -[Darcy] Ow! -[pirate 2] Get up. 739 00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:08,088 [Darcy] Okay. 740 00:34:08,756 --> 00:34:10,466 [both grunt] 741 00:34:11,508 --> 00:34:13,051 -[Tom] Come on. -[Darcy] Don't strangle me. 742 00:34:13,135 --> 00:34:15,262 -[Tom] Turn your arm. -[pirate 2] I have them alive. 743 00:34:15,345 --> 00:34:16,472 Wait, wait. What? 744 00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:19,183 [pirate 2 on radio] Bungalow 15. Pick me up. 745 00:34:20,517 --> 00:34:21,810 [pirate leader] Go collect them. 746 00:34:22,853 --> 00:34:25,022 And then we can begin. 747 00:34:25,606 --> 00:34:27,316 [both grunting] 748 00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:34,990 You doing okay, Jamie? 749 00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:39,495 My stomach feels like it's gonna fall through my asshole. 750 00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:41,371 But otherwise, I'm chill. 751 00:34:42,247 --> 00:34:44,082 Listen, it's normal to feel scared. 752 00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:45,918 But I'm not gonna let anything happen to you 753 00:34:46,502 --> 00:34:48,921 or your family. Promise. 754 00:34:50,422 --> 00:34:51,715 [Jeannie] Hey, Sean? 755 00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:53,759 I am also feeling scared. 756 00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:55,761 Like the most scared I've ever been in my whole life. 757 00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,096 It's like I just watched The Ring, you know? 758 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,892 [Harriett] Robbie, baby, I want you to practice the breathing exercise 759 00:35:01,975 --> 00:35:04,061 that we learned at Esalen, okay? 760 00:35:04,144 --> 00:35:06,855 I'm gonna hit a pressure point. Ready? And... 761 00:35:07,356 --> 00:35:08,357 [joints pop] 762 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,400 -Breathe. Breathe. -[breathing sharply] 763 00:35:11,235 --> 00:35:12,277 From the diaphragm. 764 00:35:12,361 --> 00:35:14,404 -I think I'm gonna throw up now. -It's okay. You're doing fine. 765 00:35:14,488 --> 00:35:18,283 If he keeps making that noise, just go ahead and shoot me. 766 00:35:18,367 --> 00:35:19,701 -[Robert pants] -[laughing] 767 00:35:19,785 --> 00:35:22,037 [pirate leader] The happy couple will be here in a second. 768 00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:24,373 So let's get to business. 769 00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:26,375 Where is the father of the bride? 770 00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:32,339 Robert. He's calling ya again. 771 00:35:34,424 --> 00:35:37,261 Thanks, Carol. [grunts] 772 00:35:37,678 --> 00:35:38,846 Okay, what do you want? 773 00:35:39,888 --> 00:35:44,268 [pirate leader] Well, we call my colleague on the satellite phone, 774 00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:47,479 and you transfer $45 million to a bank account. 775 00:35:47,563 --> 00:35:49,064 [Harriett] What? What? 776 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:50,649 I don't have that kind of money. 777 00:35:51,066 --> 00:35:55,404 [pirate leader] We googled you. Net worth is $60 million. 778 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:58,490 I'm not giving you anything until I find out if my daughter's safe. 779 00:35:59,533 --> 00:36:01,743 -And your son-in-law. -Yeah, him too. 780 00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:03,537 Okay. 781 00:36:03,620 --> 00:36:06,248 I can wait two minutes to take all your money. 782 00:36:06,999 --> 00:36:08,000 This way. 783 00:36:10,127 --> 00:36:12,045 You want some pineapple candies? 784 00:36:12,129 --> 00:36:15,507 They're from that weird welcome bag we got, but I found them in my pocket. 785 00:36:15,591 --> 00:36:19,094 No, I don't want loose, wet candy from your gross pockets. 786 00:36:21,638 --> 00:36:22,764 Okay. 787 00:36:23,557 --> 00:36:24,808 Suit yourself. 788 00:36:30,981 --> 00:36:32,274 Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. 789 00:36:32,357 --> 00:36:33,358 -I'm starving. -No. 790 00:36:33,442 --> 00:36:34,651 [Jamie gasps] 791 00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:38,113 -You're an asshole. -Hmm. 792 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:40,157 God, I can't believe that I had sex with you. 793 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:42,451 Honestly, I was pretty surprised by that too. 794 00:36:42,743 --> 00:36:45,078 [Darcy] My parents, they got divorced when I was in high school, 795 00:36:45,162 --> 00:36:47,873 and my first engagement was a disaster. 796 00:36:48,457 --> 00:36:50,834 What about you? Are you dating anyone? 797 00:36:50,918 --> 00:36:52,252 Have you always wanted to be a pirate? 798 00:36:52,336 --> 00:36:54,379 No more talk, lady. 799 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,803 Excuse me, sirs. 800 00:37:01,887 --> 00:37:03,138 Darcy, they're gonna hurt you. 801 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,849 I just can't help but notice that you guys smell like cigarettes, 802 00:37:05,933 --> 00:37:08,352 and I am loving it. 803 00:37:08,435 --> 00:37:10,854 Is there any way I could bum a cigarette? 804 00:37:10,938 --> 00:37:12,397 I mean, I think it might help with the... 805 00:37:12,481 --> 00:37:14,107 the panic and dread I'm experiencing right now. 806 00:37:14,191 --> 00:37:15,400 Since when do you smoke cigarettes? 807 00:37:15,484 --> 00:37:16,610 It's... 808 00:37:17,778 --> 00:37:19,613 I just... You don't even have to untie my hands. 809 00:37:19,696 --> 00:37:21,990 I mean, I... I can smoke with no hands. 810 00:37:22,074 --> 00:37:24,409 You could just put it right in my mouth. 811 00:37:24,493 --> 00:37:25,619 [pirate 2] Give her a cigarette. 812 00:37:25,702 --> 00:37:27,371 -Please. -Maybe it will shut her up. 813 00:37:27,454 --> 00:37:29,247 [Darcy] Yes, yes, yes, it will shut me up. 814 00:37:31,124 --> 00:37:32,626 Oh, thank you. 815 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,588 You guys are the... 816 00:37:38,173 --> 00:37:39,174 best. 817 00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:40,842 -[searing] -[pirate 2] What? 818 00:37:40,926 --> 00:37:42,970 -Fire! -[Darcy screaming] 819 00:37:44,638 --> 00:37:46,056 [Tom] Oh, my God! 820 00:37:46,139 --> 00:37:49,142 -[gasps] -Oh, my God! Flamethrower! 821 00:37:49,226 --> 00:37:50,352 -[laughing] -Oh, my... 822 00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:53,230 See, that's why you only have a plan with one step! 823 00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:56,024 [Tom gasps] 824 00:37:56,108 --> 00:37:57,401 -No! -Oh, my God! 825 00:37:57,484 --> 00:37:59,653 -Get the brakes! -I'm trying! I'm trying! 826 00:38:00,988 --> 00:38:02,614 [Darcy screams] 827 00:38:02,698 --> 00:38:04,700 [both grunting] 828 00:38:07,536 --> 00:38:08,704 -[shrieks] -Cliff! 829 00:38:08,787 --> 00:38:10,122 -Cliff! Cliff! -[Darcy] I see it! 830 00:38:10,205 --> 00:38:11,540 Get it into park! 831 00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:13,542 [Tom] I'm trying! [grunting] 832 00:38:14,459 --> 00:38:16,128 -[Darcy] Oh, God! Oh, my God! -[Tom] God! 833 00:38:16,211 --> 00:38:17,587 [grunting] 834 00:38:19,047 --> 00:38:20,215 Oh, slide out! 835 00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:23,343 [both grunting and gasping] 836 00:38:23,427 --> 00:38:25,053 [both laugh] 837 00:38:25,137 --> 00:38:26,805 -[thud] -[both gasp] 838 00:38:26,888 --> 00:38:29,391 [Darcy] My dress! My dress, Tom! 839 00:38:29,474 --> 00:38:30,767 Tom, don't let go! 840 00:38:30,851 --> 00:38:32,853 -Don't you let go! -[gasping] 841 00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:35,313 [Darcy] I'm stuck! I'm stuck! 842 00:38:36,064 --> 00:38:37,816 [screaming] 843 00:38:37,899 --> 00:38:39,234 -[Tom strains] -[dress rips] 844 00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:40,569 [Darcy grunts] 845 00:38:48,035 --> 00:38:49,870 [both panting] 846 00:38:52,039 --> 00:38:53,498 [gunshots] 847 00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,294 -Go! -[whimpering] 848 00:38:57,377 --> 00:38:59,421 Go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go. 849 00:39:00,881 --> 00:39:02,799 -[gunshots continue] -[Darcy screams] 850 00:39:02,883 --> 00:39:05,010 [Tom panting] 851 00:39:05,093 --> 00:39:07,095 Quick, do something baseball-y. 852 00:39:07,179 --> 00:39:09,222 What? This is nothing like baseball! 853 00:39:10,182 --> 00:39:11,975 -Down! Down, down! -[Darcy] Fuck! 854 00:39:12,809 --> 00:39:13,810 [gun clicks] 855 00:39:14,102 --> 00:39:16,855 -He's out of ammo. -Right. 856 00:39:16,938 --> 00:39:18,356 -Run at him! -What? 857 00:39:19,691 --> 00:39:21,234 -Go. Believe me, just go! -No, no, no! 858 00:39:21,318 --> 00:39:22,360 [all grunt] 859 00:39:23,236 --> 00:39:24,071 [gasps] 860 00:39:26,031 --> 00:39:27,949 -Grenade! -He has a grenade! 861 00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:29,868 Sir! 862 00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:31,411 Sir, sir. 863 00:39:31,495 --> 00:39:33,080 Give me the grenade, sir. Sir! 864 00:39:33,163 --> 00:39:36,041 Sir, give me the grenade. Sir. Sir! 865 00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:38,001 [all grunting] 866 00:39:40,045 --> 00:39:42,047 -[Tom groans] -[Darcy] Ah-ow. Ow! 867 00:39:44,174 --> 00:39:46,927 -[bones crack] -[both panting] 868 00:39:52,808 --> 00:39:54,601 [whispering] Oh, my God. 869 00:39:54,684 --> 00:39:56,728 -Is he dead? -I don't know. 870 00:39:57,979 --> 00:39:59,439 [shouts] Are you dead? 871 00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:10,367 Oh, yeah, he's very not alive. 872 00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:12,452 Not alive. Oh, boy. 873 00:40:12,536 --> 00:40:14,454 -Yes! You killed him! -Yeah! 874 00:40:14,538 --> 00:40:16,706 Yeah, I killed him! I killed him! 875 00:40:16,790 --> 00:40:18,208 [both laughing] 876 00:40:18,291 --> 00:40:20,460 Oh, my God, I killed a man. 877 00:40:20,544 --> 00:40:23,255 I killed a man. No. 878 00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:25,465 -[gasping] -How do you feel? 879 00:40:25,549 --> 00:40:27,676 I feel... Oh, my God. I feel horrible. 880 00:40:27,759 --> 00:40:30,178 -Yeah. -But excited. 881 00:40:30,262 --> 00:40:32,347 You know, like, happy. Like, I'm gonna shit my pants. 882 00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:33,431 -Yeah. -You know, like, 883 00:40:33,515 --> 00:40:34,975 but in a good way. You know? 884 00:40:35,058 --> 00:40:36,226 [Darcy] Huh. 885 00:40:36,643 --> 00:40:37,769 Oh, my God. 886 00:40:38,645 --> 00:40:40,147 I'm gonna go to prison. 887 00:40:40,230 --> 00:40:41,314 -I'm gonna... -No! 888 00:40:41,398 --> 00:40:43,066 -Yeah. -No. It was... It... 889 00:40:43,150 --> 00:40:44,985 It was self-defense. He was trying to kill us. 890 00:40:45,068 --> 00:40:46,403 Any court would... 891 00:40:47,237 --> 00:40:48,363 Any court... 892 00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:50,031 Are you okay? 893 00:40:50,115 --> 00:40:52,826 Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine. 894 00:40:52,909 --> 00:40:55,662 It's just, you know, I looked over there and I saw all the blood. 895 00:40:55,745 --> 00:40:57,414 And, you know, I think I saw some brain. 896 00:40:57,497 --> 00:40:59,207 -Was that brain stuff? -Yeah. Yeah. 897 00:40:59,291 --> 00:41:02,961 And so I'm just gonna look up at the sky and... so I don't pass out. 898 00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:04,546 Okay. Well, you know what? Maybe we should... 899 00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:06,047 -[huffing] -Let's just step away 900 00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:07,132 from the scene. 901 00:41:07,215 --> 00:41:08,258 -And don't look down. -Okay. 902 00:41:08,341 --> 00:41:09,342 -Okay. -Just don't look down. 903 00:41:10,677 --> 00:41:12,429 [pirate leader] They should be here by now. 904 00:41:12,512 --> 00:41:13,513 Head up the road. 905 00:41:13,597 --> 00:41:14,931 -Check on them. -[pirate 3] Yeah. 906 00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:20,520 [breathing through teeth] 907 00:41:20,604 --> 00:41:23,857 All right. We need to get off this island. 908 00:41:23,940 --> 00:41:26,985 Well, it might help that I got this grenade for us. 909 00:41:27,068 --> 00:41:29,446 I mean, he was trying to blow us up, but I got it. 910 00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:31,740 I got it. Another point for Darcy. 911 00:41:32,657 --> 00:41:34,201 [blows sharply] 912 00:41:34,284 --> 00:41:35,911 Okay, Darcy. 913 00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:36,995 Uh... 914 00:41:37,829 --> 00:41:39,164 Do you remember 915 00:41:39,789 --> 00:41:41,666 that time that we were driving down the highway 916 00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:44,794 and you very calmly told me to pull over? 917 00:41:44,878 --> 00:41:46,463 And you waited until we pulled over 918 00:41:46,546 --> 00:41:49,257 to tell me that there was a giant spider on my head? 919 00:41:49,799 --> 00:41:51,176 Yeah. Yeah. 920 00:41:51,259 --> 00:41:52,510 Yeah, well, that was very smart. 921 00:41:52,928 --> 00:41:57,474 Because if you had told me before, I might have panicked and crashed the car. 922 00:41:57,557 --> 00:41:58,767 Wait. Is there a spider on my head? 923 00:41:58,850 --> 00:42:00,268 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 924 00:42:00,352 --> 00:42:02,312 No, no. I tell you this story because... 925 00:42:03,563 --> 00:42:04,648 I don't want you to panic 926 00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:06,650 when I tell you what I'm about to tell you. 927 00:42:07,651 --> 00:42:10,362 Your grenade doesn't have a pin. 928 00:42:14,324 --> 00:42:16,034 -What does that mean? -Well... 929 00:42:16,117 --> 00:42:17,911 Well, is it... is it... is it gonna explode? 930 00:42:17,994 --> 00:42:19,829 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. 931 00:42:19,913 --> 00:42:22,040 Hold it exactly how you're holding it. Good. Good. 932 00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:24,334 -Okay. Okay. -Mm-hmm. 933 00:42:24,417 --> 00:42:26,461 That pin holds the handle on. 934 00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:29,547 But when you let go of the grenade, the handle pops off, 935 00:42:29,631 --> 00:42:32,509 which lights the fuse, and the whole thing goes... 936 00:42:33,468 --> 00:42:34,511 boom. 937 00:42:34,594 --> 00:42:36,346 [whispers] How do you know so much about grenades? 938 00:42:36,846 --> 00:42:38,139 Video games. 939 00:42:38,223 --> 00:42:40,016 So what should I do? Should... Should I throw it? 940 00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:43,770 Well, my concern is that you won't be able to throw it far enough to not blow us up. 941 00:42:43,853 --> 00:42:45,814 -No offense. -God. 942 00:42:46,189 --> 00:42:48,525 So, what, I just... I just hold this live grenade? 943 00:42:48,608 --> 00:42:50,652 This grenade is just part of my life now? 944 00:42:50,735 --> 00:42:52,153 Yeah, for now, yeah, yeah, yeah. 945 00:42:56,074 --> 00:42:57,492 Okay, here's the plan. 946 00:42:58,743 --> 00:42:59,869 We're gonna get a knife. 947 00:42:59,953 --> 00:43:00,912 -Okay. All right. -I'm gonna cut 948 00:43:00,996 --> 00:43:03,206 through these ties, we're gonna get rid of that grenade, 949 00:43:03,915 --> 00:43:05,250 and then we're gonna head down to the docks. 950 00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:07,085 We're gonna bum-rush the pirate guarding it, 951 00:43:07,168 --> 00:43:09,629 hop in a boat, and head to the next island for help. 952 00:43:10,213 --> 00:43:13,466 -Okay? -Tom, that plan... 953 00:43:13,550 --> 00:43:16,011 [sighs] Has too many steps. I see that now. 954 00:43:16,678 --> 00:43:18,722 [sighs] Now, you got a simpler one? 955 00:43:19,681 --> 00:43:21,391 -Yes. Yes. -What? 956 00:43:21,474 --> 00:43:23,351 -Yes. Okay. -What are you doing? 957 00:43:23,435 --> 00:43:25,061 Get down here. Found it. 958 00:43:25,145 --> 00:43:26,604 -Found it. Yes. -What are we doing? 959 00:43:26,688 --> 00:43:28,440 -Right here. -What are we doing? 960 00:43:28,523 --> 00:43:30,650 -[laughs triumphantly] -Oh. 961 00:43:31,318 --> 00:43:32,360 Oh. 962 00:43:32,444 --> 00:43:34,904 Find cell service. Call for help. 963 00:43:34,988 --> 00:43:36,406 When did you put that in your underwear? 964 00:43:36,489 --> 00:43:37,741 [chuckles] 965 00:43:37,824 --> 00:43:39,576 Right before the pirates took us out of the cabana. 966 00:43:39,659 --> 00:43:41,494 Because I'm a sneaky little bitch. 967 00:43:41,578 --> 00:43:44,039 Oh, you are a sneaky little bitch. 968 00:43:44,748 --> 00:43:46,041 -Thank you. -[sighs] 969 00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:47,625 -Okay. -Let's start walking. 970 00:43:47,709 --> 00:43:49,544 [Darcy] Sneaky. Sneaky little bitch. 971 00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:53,590 You're testing my patience, Robert! 972 00:43:53,673 --> 00:43:55,050 Look, you want my money? I want my daughter. 973 00:43:55,133 --> 00:43:56,718 -It's a simple negotiation. -[pirate leader] Enough! 974 00:43:56,801 --> 00:43:57,802 All right. 975 00:43:57,886 --> 00:43:58,887 [Carol] They're bringing him back. 976 00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:00,013 [pirate leader] Move. 977 00:44:00,096 --> 00:44:02,474 [Sean] Robert. What happened? Are you okay? 978 00:44:02,557 --> 00:44:03,600 They didn't hurt you, did they? 979 00:44:03,683 --> 00:44:06,978 Well, I'm not giving them a dime till I know my daughter's alive. 980 00:44:07,062 --> 00:44:08,855 That didn't go over very well. 981 00:44:09,439 --> 00:44:11,733 I'm afraid they're gonna start shooting the hostages. 982 00:44:11,816 --> 00:44:12,859 [Sean] I don't think they're gonna do that. 983 00:44:12,942 --> 00:44:14,819 [Harriett] Isn't that exactly what pirates do? 984 00:44:22,243 --> 00:44:24,913 Come out, Mr. Pirate Man! 985 00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:33,338 My name 986 00:44:34,464 --> 00:44:37,592 is Carol Elaine Fowler, 987 00:44:38,676 --> 00:44:40,470 and I deserve to live. 988 00:44:41,471 --> 00:44:44,516 Carol, what are you doing? 989 00:44:44,599 --> 00:44:46,101 [whispering] I'm humanizing myself. 990 00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:47,811 [in normal tone] I saw it on Good Morning America. 991 00:44:47,894 --> 00:44:51,523 If you humanize yourself to them, they let you live. 992 00:44:54,192 --> 00:44:57,737 I am a wife. I am a mother. 993 00:44:58,196 --> 00:45:02,909 And I was Milford, Michigan's top realtor in 1998, 994 00:45:02,992 --> 00:45:05,245 and again in 2007. 995 00:45:06,079 --> 00:45:09,374 I dream of going to Ireland. 996 00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:13,711 I was a late bloomer and my teeth didn't come in till I was 14. 997 00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:15,380 Please pick me. 998 00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:17,549 My name is Jeannie Reed. 999 00:45:17,924 --> 00:45:22,220 I am a devoted mother and a slightly less devoted wife. 1000 00:45:22,762 --> 00:45:24,514 This is my first vacation without my kids, 1001 00:45:24,597 --> 00:45:27,225 so I drank a lot of champagne before the ceremony, 1002 00:45:27,308 --> 00:45:28,268 took a couple of weed gummies, 1003 00:45:28,351 --> 00:45:30,687 and the combination is really killing me right now. 1004 00:45:30,770 --> 00:45:34,983 I'm Amanda Walker. I'm a godmother and a woman in tech. 1005 00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:37,026 -I went to-- -I am Renata. 1006 00:45:38,445 --> 00:45:40,113 I'm from Brazil. 1007 00:45:41,114 --> 00:45:43,867 I have beautiful hair. 1008 00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:44,909 Yeah. Very beautiful. 1009 00:45:45,702 --> 00:45:46,828 What else? 1010 00:45:48,455 --> 00:45:49,581 You're a mother. 1011 00:45:50,457 --> 00:45:51,916 I am a mother. 1012 00:45:53,126 --> 00:45:54,502 My name is Ricky Silver. 1013 00:45:54,586 --> 00:45:56,629 A lot of my friends, they're pairing up, 1014 00:45:56,713 --> 00:45:59,632 and they're getting married and drinking loose-leaf tea and shit. 1015 00:45:59,716 --> 00:46:01,718 And I'm still single. But last night... 1016 00:46:03,261 --> 00:46:06,973 I made love to a gorgeous and terrifying woman. 1017 00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:08,808 You think I'm terrifying? 1018 00:46:09,893 --> 00:46:11,644 You scare the shit out of me. 1019 00:46:12,437 --> 00:46:14,439 [light music playing] 1020 00:46:16,649 --> 00:46:18,151 I'm Larry Fowler. 1021 00:46:20,445 --> 00:46:21,446 [music halts] 1022 00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:24,449 Oh... 1023 00:46:24,949 --> 00:46:25,950 Thank you. 1024 00:46:27,494 --> 00:46:28,912 -Oh. -[Jeannie] Oh, easy, Dad. 1025 00:46:29,913 --> 00:46:31,080 -Hold the phone. Yes. -[Tom] How am I gonna... 1026 00:46:31,164 --> 00:46:32,248 -Hold it steady. -[Darcy] Hold it. Hold on. 1027 00:46:32,332 --> 00:46:34,751 I just gotta get this thing out of my head. 1028 00:46:34,834 --> 00:46:37,712 It's driving me crazy. [sighs] 1029 00:46:37,795 --> 00:46:39,839 -Wait. Hold on. Just wait. -What are you... 1030 00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:43,134 What are you... Are you stuffing a loose wad 1031 00:46:43,218 --> 00:46:44,719 of hair in my pocket? 1032 00:46:44,802 --> 00:46:47,347 Yes. A loose wad of very expensive, 1033 00:46:47,430 --> 00:46:49,432 custom-made hair that I would like to keep. 1034 00:46:49,516 --> 00:46:50,892 If we survive. 1035 00:46:51,643 --> 00:46:53,603 [laughing] 1036 00:46:53,686 --> 00:46:55,021 What's so funny? 1037 00:46:57,106 --> 00:46:58,858 -I've just been... -Ow, ow, ow! 1038 00:46:58,942 --> 00:47:01,611 ...questioning everything lately. 1039 00:47:01,694 --> 00:47:04,739 What if the wedding's not perfect? What if your parents never like me? 1040 00:47:04,822 --> 00:47:06,950 What does life look like after baseball? 1041 00:47:07,033 --> 00:47:08,785 But not once did I wonder 1042 00:47:08,868 --> 00:47:13,081 if I'd be walking handcuffed through the jungle with a live grenade. 1043 00:47:13,790 --> 00:47:17,961 Oh. Pirates chasing you wasn't on your vision board? 1044 00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:20,213 Well, you were the only thing on my vision board. 1045 00:47:21,256 --> 00:47:22,298 [Darcy grunts] 1046 00:47:22,382 --> 00:47:23,550 -[Darcy yelps] -[grunts] 1047 00:47:23,633 --> 00:47:24,717 -I got it, I got it, I got it. -Oh! Oh! 1048 00:47:24,801 --> 00:47:26,386 -You got it? You got it? -I got it. I got it. 1049 00:47:26,469 --> 00:47:29,347 -Okay. I got it. -Oh, good. Okay. Oh. [panting] 1050 00:47:31,558 --> 00:47:33,518 -We have a bar. -Oh, good. 1051 00:47:34,227 --> 00:47:35,270 All right. 1052 00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:36,688 -Keep your hands with me. -Okay. 1053 00:47:36,771 --> 00:47:38,439 -Okay. -Call for help. 1054 00:47:38,523 --> 00:47:40,441 Yes. Shit! It's gone. 1055 00:47:41,442 --> 00:47:43,027 -[groans] -[Tom] Well, keep trying. 1056 00:47:47,156 --> 00:47:48,866 -I think, maybe... -We have to go higher. 1057 00:47:48,950 --> 00:47:50,201 -What? -Yes. 1058 00:47:50,743 --> 00:47:53,246 Not... No. No, no, no. Uh, I don't like higher. 1059 00:47:55,707 --> 00:47:57,709 [intense music playing] 1060 00:48:05,049 --> 00:48:07,051 Yeah, I don't... I don't think this thing is built to code. 1061 00:48:07,135 --> 00:48:08,678 -Tom. -Anything? 1062 00:48:08,761 --> 00:48:10,680 No. Come on. 1063 00:48:11,889 --> 00:48:13,641 -Yeah. -We're almost at the top. 1064 00:48:13,725 --> 00:48:16,769 Maybe we should go back down so we're not up so high. 1065 00:48:16,853 --> 00:48:19,731 Don't think about the heights right now. Okay? We're safe. 1066 00:48:19,814 --> 00:48:21,899 Yeah. You use the word "safe" very loosely. 1067 00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,027 Oh, my God. 1068 00:48:27,739 --> 00:48:28,740 [cell phone chimes] 1069 00:48:28,823 --> 00:48:30,116 -Full service. Full service. -Oh, yes. 1070 00:48:30,199 --> 00:48:31,451 -I have full service. -[chiming continues] 1071 00:48:31,534 --> 00:48:32,577 [Tom] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Silence it. 1072 00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:34,454 -[whispers] I'm trying. -[Tom shushes] 1073 00:48:34,537 --> 00:48:36,247 -[chiming continues] -[birds chirping] 1074 00:48:39,584 --> 00:48:41,252 Your group chat is out of control. 1075 00:48:41,336 --> 00:48:43,338 I will not apologize for having enthusiastic friends. 1076 00:48:43,421 --> 00:48:44,797 -[gunshots] -[both yelp] 1077 00:48:46,841 --> 00:48:48,092 Oh! You dropped it. 1078 00:48:48,176 --> 00:48:49,969 -[Darcy] Come on! -[gunshots continue] 1079 00:48:50,511 --> 00:48:52,221 -We gotta zip. -Zip? 1080 00:48:52,305 --> 00:48:53,598 What do you mean, "zip"? 1081 00:48:54,599 --> 00:48:56,684 -Oh! Zip. Oh, God! -[gunshot] 1082 00:48:56,768 --> 00:48:58,019 Go, go, go. 1083 00:48:58,686 --> 00:49:00,563 No, I don't think we have the proper equipment. 1084 00:49:00,647 --> 00:49:02,106 -[gunshot] -Well, they have guns. 1085 00:49:02,190 --> 00:49:03,316 [Tom] Is there some kind of a manual? 1086 00:49:03,399 --> 00:49:04,442 [pirate 3] Come down! 1087 00:49:04,525 --> 00:49:06,986 [Tom] We need helmets. I see lots of helmets in the photos. 1088 00:49:07,070 --> 00:49:07,987 [Darcy grunts] 1089 00:49:08,071 --> 00:49:09,405 And then why do they look scared? 1090 00:49:09,489 --> 00:49:11,157 [Darcy] Stop thinking so much. Jump! 1091 00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:14,035 [Tom screaming] 1092 00:49:17,747 --> 00:49:20,541 -Stop screaming! -Oh, God! Oh, my God! 1093 00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:21,876 Whoa! 1094 00:49:21,959 --> 00:49:23,127 Tom, don't let go. 1095 00:49:23,211 --> 00:49:25,213 -[gunshots] -The fuck! 1096 00:49:25,797 --> 00:49:28,174 [both screaming] 1097 00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:31,177 [Tom] Hold on, baby. Hold on. 1098 00:49:31,260 --> 00:49:32,470 Okay. 1099 00:49:34,597 --> 00:49:36,432 [Tom screaming] 1100 00:49:36,516 --> 00:49:37,517 [grenade clatters] 1101 00:49:38,226 --> 00:49:39,227 [pirate 4] Uh... 1102 00:49:40,269 --> 00:49:43,690 -Yeah! [laughs] -[Darcy] Yeah! 1103 00:49:44,357 --> 00:49:46,192 [pirate leader] What the hell was that? 1104 00:49:46,275 --> 00:49:48,444 -[Darcy screaming] -[laughing] 1105 00:49:50,029 --> 00:49:52,365 [Tom screaming] 1106 00:49:56,911 --> 00:49:57,954 [Darcy] Oh, God! 1107 00:50:00,540 --> 00:50:02,250 -[Darcy] Oh, God! -How do we land this thing? 1108 00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:03,793 Me first. I'm gonna go first. 1109 00:50:03,876 --> 00:50:06,796 -What about me? -No, let me. Me first. 1110 00:50:06,879 --> 00:50:08,464 I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump. 1111 00:50:08,548 --> 00:50:10,800 -[Tom] Okay, okay. -I got it. I got it. 1112 00:50:10,883 --> 00:50:12,135 Here I go! 1113 00:50:14,429 --> 00:50:15,847 [Darcy groans] 1114 00:50:17,432 --> 00:50:20,393 [Tom] Oh! [groaning] 1115 00:50:22,395 --> 00:50:23,813 [Tom panting] 1116 00:50:26,941 --> 00:50:28,901 [solemn music playing] 1117 00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:38,995 [suspenseful music playing] 1118 00:50:45,376 --> 00:50:47,044 [pirate leader] These people are sick. 1119 00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:51,215 You find them, but I kill them. 1120 00:50:51,299 --> 00:50:52,884 [rustling] 1121 00:50:54,385 --> 00:50:55,803 [pirate 2] You can have the man, 1122 00:50:56,846 --> 00:50:58,639 but the bride is mine. 1123 00:51:01,684 --> 00:51:03,519 [Darcy] Police, coast guard, they're all right there. 1124 00:51:03,603 --> 00:51:04,937 -How do we get across? -I don't know. 1125 00:51:05,021 --> 00:51:07,607 [Carol] Okay, let's all go around and play two truths and a lie. 1126 00:51:07,690 --> 00:51:08,733 [pirate] Be quiet! 1127 00:51:08,816 --> 00:51:10,026 -Carol. -Mom. 1128 00:51:10,485 --> 00:51:11,861 -[Darcy] Easy. -[mumbles] 1129 00:51:12,695 --> 00:51:13,905 Okay, come on. 1130 00:51:14,655 --> 00:51:15,948 Come on, come on, come on. 1131 00:51:20,995 --> 00:51:22,413 [Darcy] Oh, my God. 1132 00:51:22,497 --> 00:51:23,873 Oh, my God. [crying] 1133 00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:27,126 I'm gonna fix this. 1134 00:51:31,130 --> 00:51:32,548 [Darcy] My poor mom. 1135 00:51:32,632 --> 00:51:35,468 She thought she was gonna be able to avoid my dad all weekend. 1136 00:51:37,053 --> 00:51:39,597 My mom used to love my dad so much. 1137 00:51:42,016 --> 00:51:43,726 He was her whole world. 1138 00:51:43,810 --> 00:51:46,604 Then when he left, she just lost her joy. 1139 00:51:47,647 --> 00:51:49,232 I mean, she acts tough, but... 1140 00:51:51,901 --> 00:51:53,611 she never really recovered. 1141 00:51:58,991 --> 00:52:00,618 -Darcy, I'm sorry... -I know. 1142 00:52:02,328 --> 00:52:03,704 We have to keep moving. 1143 00:52:06,999 --> 00:52:08,042 [both gasp] 1144 00:52:12,922 --> 00:52:14,882 [amusing music playing] 1145 00:52:19,554 --> 00:52:21,430 [whispering] What the hell does that mean? 1146 00:52:25,017 --> 00:52:26,018 [whispering] Kitchen. 1147 00:52:28,938 --> 00:52:30,398 -[door opens] -[Tom grunts] 1148 00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:32,191 Okay, we need to find a knife. 1149 00:52:32,692 --> 00:52:34,777 -Oh. Mmm. -What... What... 1150 00:52:34,861 --> 00:52:35,820 What are you doing? 1151 00:52:35,903 --> 00:52:37,405 I'm starving. Have you eaten today? 1152 00:52:37,488 --> 00:52:38,573 No, I'm not hungry. 1153 00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:40,032 Yes, you are. You're acting cranky. 1154 00:52:40,116 --> 00:52:42,994 -Mmm. Mmm! Mmm. -[Darcy] Mmm. 1155 00:52:44,745 --> 00:52:46,956 -Mmm, this is so delicious. -[indistinct radio chatter] 1156 00:52:48,624 --> 00:52:49,709 [Darcy gasps] 1157 00:52:58,217 --> 00:52:59,844 [whispering] I love your mom. 1158 00:52:59,927 --> 00:53:01,220 Okay, come on. 1159 00:53:02,305 --> 00:53:04,181 Come on. Ow! Easy, easy. 1160 00:53:04,265 --> 00:53:05,558 I can't cut with one hand. 1161 00:53:05,641 --> 00:53:07,268 Well, I can't cut with no hands. 1162 00:53:11,898 --> 00:53:13,691 We need to find something else. 1163 00:53:13,774 --> 00:53:14,901 Okay? 1164 00:53:15,651 --> 00:53:17,987 Something that cuts through plastic. 1165 00:53:18,905 --> 00:53:20,281 Hmm... 1166 00:53:22,909 --> 00:53:23,910 Yep. 1167 00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:26,162 [whirring] 1168 00:53:28,831 --> 00:53:30,374 -Is this a bad idea? -Yeah. 1169 00:53:30,458 --> 00:53:32,293 -You ready? -No! 1170 00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:34,921 Okay. 1171 00:53:37,798 --> 00:53:39,383 [mumbles] There you go. 1172 00:53:41,177 --> 00:53:42,595 [loudly] Hang on, hang on, hang on! 1173 00:53:42,678 --> 00:53:43,804 [groans] Darcy, you're stalling. 1174 00:53:43,888 --> 00:53:45,014 -I know. -We got this. 1175 00:53:45,097 --> 00:53:46,182 -Okay. Yes. -We got this. 1176 00:53:46,891 --> 00:53:48,559 -On my count. Ready? -Okay. 1177 00:53:48,643 --> 00:53:51,479 -Yes. -Ten, nine, eight... 1178 00:53:51,562 --> 00:53:53,230 Why are you counting from ten? 1179 00:53:53,314 --> 00:53:54,565 What is this, a rocket launch? 1180 00:53:54,649 --> 00:53:55,691 Okay, fine. On four. 1181 00:53:56,317 --> 00:53:59,779 One, two, three-- 1182 00:53:59,862 --> 00:54:01,280 No one goes on four. 1183 00:54:01,364 --> 00:54:02,823 -No one goes on four. -All right... 1184 00:54:02,907 --> 00:54:04,158 Shh! Shh. 1185 00:54:04,241 --> 00:54:05,993 -[grunts] Okay. -Just... 1186 00:54:06,077 --> 00:54:08,245 -Just like a Band-Aid. -Fine, fine. 1187 00:54:08,329 --> 00:54:09,538 -Ready? Go. -Like a Band-Aid. 1188 00:54:09,622 --> 00:54:11,499 -[machine whines] -[Tom screams] 1189 00:54:11,582 --> 00:54:13,918 -[groaning] -[Darcy screams] 1190 00:54:15,169 --> 00:54:16,379 [blood dripping] 1191 00:54:16,462 --> 00:54:18,130 [muffled screaming] 1192 00:54:18,214 --> 00:54:19,256 [squeals] 1193 00:54:20,967 --> 00:54:22,802 [groans] Oh, my God. 1194 00:54:27,223 --> 00:54:28,683 Come on. [grunts] 1195 00:54:33,354 --> 00:54:35,481 [tense music playing] 1196 00:54:35,564 --> 00:54:37,733 -[sizzling] -[liquid boiling] 1197 00:55:03,926 --> 00:55:04,927 [cocks gun] 1198 00:55:05,636 --> 00:55:06,804 Tom! 1199 00:55:08,597 --> 00:55:09,849 [softly] Tom. 1200 00:55:10,349 --> 00:55:12,351 -[dish clangs] -[Tom grunts] 1201 00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:20,901 [grunts] 1202 00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:23,821 [pirate grunts] 1203 00:55:26,824 --> 00:55:28,701 [squeaking] 1204 00:55:29,076 --> 00:55:30,619 [both grunting] 1205 00:55:40,504 --> 00:55:41,922 [pirate screams] 1206 00:55:42,882 --> 00:55:44,050 [pirate yells] 1207 00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:52,600 [Tom panting] 1208 00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,481 [continues panting] 1209 00:56:02,359 --> 00:56:03,652 I thought you left. 1210 00:56:05,112 --> 00:56:06,197 What? 1211 00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:09,658 No. 1212 00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:12,536 Never. 1213 00:56:16,916 --> 00:56:18,334 Where'd your mom's knife go? 1214 00:56:29,678 --> 00:56:31,514 Oh, Jesus, help me. 1215 00:56:37,603 --> 00:56:39,271 [sighs in relief] That's good. 1216 00:56:40,689 --> 00:56:41,941 Throw me those boots. 1217 00:57:00,543 --> 00:57:02,586 [rousing music playing] 1218 00:57:07,842 --> 00:57:08,843 What? 1219 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:12,805 That dress is growing on me. 1220 00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:16,642 Thanks. 1221 00:57:17,393 --> 00:57:19,019 I wanted something less traditional. 1222 00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:22,731 [whirring] 1223 00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:30,156 [intense music playing] 1224 00:57:48,299 --> 00:57:51,177 Yes. Maybe Margy's got a hard line to the Internet. 1225 00:57:52,761 --> 00:57:54,305 Wow, does Margy love corgis. 1226 00:57:55,973 --> 00:57:57,850 No. Damn it. 1227 00:57:58,976 --> 00:58:00,686 [pirate 2] You go over there, I'll go here. 1228 00:58:00,769 --> 00:58:02,146 -[pirate 5] Yeah. -They're right there. 1229 00:58:02,229 --> 00:58:03,772 -What do I do? -I don't know. 1230 00:58:04,190 --> 00:58:05,566 I don't know. 1231 00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:08,110 -[Tom gasps] -[shushes] 1232 00:58:08,194 --> 00:58:09,737 -Oh, Margy. -This way. 1233 00:58:09,820 --> 00:58:10,905 [Tom] Go, go, go. 1234 00:58:11,947 --> 00:58:13,324 Okay. I got you. 1235 00:58:13,407 --> 00:58:15,284 [Darcy] It's okay. It's okay. 1236 00:58:16,285 --> 00:58:17,369 [door closes] 1237 00:58:17,453 --> 00:58:19,121 Come. Faster, faster. 1238 00:58:20,122 --> 00:58:21,874 Ace, Margy... 1239 00:58:21,957 --> 00:58:23,751 -Is this your bunker? -[Ace] Uh-huh. 1240 00:58:23,834 --> 00:58:24,793 -Man cave. -Is it spinning? 1241 00:58:24,877 --> 00:58:25,920 Is it spinning for anyone else? 1242 00:58:26,295 --> 00:58:28,047 You're losing blood. Sit down. 1243 00:58:28,130 --> 00:58:30,674 -Sit down. Okay. -Bandages. Ace. 1244 00:58:30,758 --> 00:58:32,426 [Ace] I'll get the medical kit. 1245 00:58:32,509 --> 00:58:34,136 Give me your hand. I'm gonna wrap it. 1246 00:58:34,220 --> 00:58:36,096 No. No, no, no. No. 1247 00:58:36,722 --> 00:58:38,182 Are you sure? It's disgusting. 1248 00:58:39,683 --> 00:58:40,684 Yeah. 1249 00:58:47,524 --> 00:58:48,817 Oh. Cheers. 1250 00:58:51,779 --> 00:58:52,988 [shudders] Okay. 1251 00:58:53,072 --> 00:58:55,449 [groans] Looks like it's got a flap. 1252 00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,160 It's got a loose flap. 1253 00:58:58,244 --> 00:58:59,411 -Listen, just be... -[Darcy] Mm-hmm. 1254 00:59:00,079 --> 00:59:02,289 Just... Just be careful with the flap. 1255 00:59:02,373 --> 00:59:04,750 Please stop saying "flap," okay? 1256 00:59:04,833 --> 00:59:06,961 I'm totally fine. Just don't say flap. 1257 00:59:07,753 --> 00:59:09,838 -[Margy] How many are there? -Uh... 1258 00:59:09,922 --> 00:59:13,259 Two in the lobby. Couple more by the pool with the hostages. 1259 00:59:13,342 --> 00:59:16,345 And, uh, one by the dock, right? 1260 00:59:16,428 --> 00:59:18,681 But we got four. 1261 00:59:19,431 --> 00:59:20,933 What do you mean, "got"? 1262 00:59:24,228 --> 00:59:26,647 Got them to stop, you know, 1263 00:59:27,898 --> 00:59:29,149 being alive. 1264 00:59:29,942 --> 00:59:31,610 Holy shit. 1265 00:59:31,694 --> 00:59:33,988 [Tom] Well, yeah, we didn't see any of your staff, though. 1266 00:59:34,071 --> 00:59:36,323 I saw them getting locked up in the spa. 1267 00:59:36,407 --> 00:59:37,908 They never bother with the locals. 1268 00:59:37,992 --> 00:59:41,245 Americans are the rich idiots. No offense. 1269 00:59:41,328 --> 00:59:44,164 I just don't understand why the pirates are still here. 1270 00:59:44,248 --> 00:59:46,000 Last time, they just looted the rooms. 1271 00:59:46,083 --> 00:59:49,169 Twenty minutes, gone. [sighs] 1272 00:59:50,462 --> 00:59:51,672 What do you mean, "last time"? 1273 00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:53,590 Last year. [speaking Filipino] 1274 00:59:53,674 --> 00:59:55,634 [in English] Two thousand islands in the Philippines, 1275 00:59:55,718 --> 00:59:56,885 and they hit us twice? 1276 00:59:56,969 --> 00:59:58,345 -It's not fair. -Wait, wait. 1277 00:59:59,346 --> 01:00:01,682 The pirates were here last summer? 1278 01:00:01,765 --> 01:00:03,267 And you let us have our wedding here? 1279 01:00:03,350 --> 01:00:06,854 What? Tom-Tom. We talked about it, huh? 1280 01:00:09,398 --> 01:00:10,399 You knew about this? 1281 01:00:10,482 --> 01:00:12,526 Well, first of all, nobody got killed last summer. 1282 01:00:12,609 --> 01:00:13,652 And we both agreed that 1283 01:00:13,736 --> 01:00:15,946 the chances of it happening again were very small. 1284 01:00:16,030 --> 01:00:17,823 -Who's "we"? -Me and Margy. 1285 01:00:18,490 --> 01:00:19,616 We e-mailed a lot, 1286 01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:21,535 and I asked a lot of tough questions, didn't I? 1287 01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:23,787 How could you not tell me about this? 1288 01:00:23,871 --> 01:00:25,372 You didn't tell me that you were having doubts 1289 01:00:25,456 --> 01:00:26,623 about getting married, so... 1290 01:00:26,707 --> 01:00:29,585 Yeah, you're right. I didn't. You know why? 1291 01:00:29,918 --> 01:00:33,839 Because all last year, you were in your head about everything. 1292 01:00:33,922 --> 01:00:36,717 You thought my dad didn't like you, so you started acting all weird. 1293 01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:38,093 And now my dad doesn't like you. 1294 01:00:38,761 --> 01:00:40,304 You thought the Robins were gonna drop you. 1295 01:00:40,387 --> 01:00:42,723 And then you started playing badly, and they did drop you. 1296 01:00:42,806 --> 01:00:44,808 You think that something bad is gonna happen, 1297 01:00:44,892 --> 01:00:46,727 and then you make it happen. 1298 01:00:46,810 --> 01:00:48,270 That's called self-sabotage. 1299 01:00:48,354 --> 01:00:50,397 It is. Ace, thank you. 1300 01:00:50,814 --> 01:00:53,525 And all you were excited about was this wedding. 1301 01:00:53,609 --> 01:00:56,653 And I knew that if I told you that I was having doubts, 1302 01:00:56,737 --> 01:00:58,781 that you would sabotage our whole relationship. 1303 01:00:58,864 --> 01:01:00,407 Which you did anyway! 1304 01:01:00,491 --> 01:01:02,034 I didn't sabotage anything. 1305 01:01:02,534 --> 01:01:04,244 I tried to make this wedding perfect. 1306 01:01:04,328 --> 01:01:07,081 And it all got ruined the day your boy Sean showed up. 1307 01:01:07,164 --> 01:01:08,874 This has nothing to do with Sean. 1308 01:01:08,957 --> 01:01:10,709 This is about your insecurities. 1309 01:01:10,793 --> 01:01:12,127 And this whole wedding 1310 01:01:12,211 --> 01:01:14,713 was your way of trying to get control of your life, 1311 01:01:14,797 --> 01:01:16,048 because you have to control everything. 1312 01:01:16,131 --> 01:01:19,009 It's like when you get out of the car to "help me" parallel park, 1313 01:01:19,093 --> 01:01:20,677 when I can do it just fine on my own. 1314 01:01:20,761 --> 01:01:22,388 Yeah, I wouldn't call a 17-point turn "just fine." 1315 01:01:22,471 --> 01:01:24,556 Well, those jeans you bought from Old Navy last month 1316 01:01:24,640 --> 01:01:25,891 were women's jeans. 1317 01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:27,142 Uh... 1318 01:01:27,226 --> 01:01:28,685 Well, I found them in the men's section. 1319 01:01:28,769 --> 01:01:30,104 They made you look like Stevie Nicks. 1320 01:01:30,187 --> 01:01:32,731 That haircut that you got last year, I hated it. 1321 01:01:32,815 --> 01:01:35,359 It made your head look square. You looked like a fucking Simpson. 1322 01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:36,985 You said it was chic. 1323 01:01:37,069 --> 01:01:38,779 You act so confident, 1324 01:01:38,862 --> 01:01:40,572 so strong, but you're just a scared little girl. 1325 01:01:42,241 --> 01:01:44,493 You're afraid to go all in on this relationship 1326 01:01:44,576 --> 01:01:46,870 because it means you might have something to lose. 1327 01:01:46,954 --> 01:01:48,414 [breath trembling] 1328 01:01:53,836 --> 01:01:56,046 Well, you know what? None of it matters anyway. 1329 01:01:57,131 --> 01:02:00,342 Because everyone we love could die. 1330 01:02:03,679 --> 01:02:04,972 Because of me. 1331 01:02:08,684 --> 01:02:10,060 [Margy gasps] 1332 01:02:10,144 --> 01:02:11,562 [Tom shushes] 1333 01:02:23,532 --> 01:02:24,533 [radio crackles] 1334 01:02:25,367 --> 01:02:26,952 [pirate 2] I think they're in the manager's house. 1335 01:02:27,035 --> 01:02:28,620 [all gasp] 1336 01:02:35,335 --> 01:02:37,129 -[door creaks] -[shushes] 1337 01:02:42,968 --> 01:02:43,969 [door closes] 1338 01:02:48,765 --> 01:02:50,767 [footsteps overhead] 1339 01:02:54,229 --> 01:02:56,064 [indistinct radio chatter] 1340 01:02:58,942 --> 01:03:00,569 [whispering] I think they heard it. 1341 01:03:00,652 --> 01:03:01,820 [whispering] Why? 1342 01:03:01,904 --> 01:03:03,572 They stopped speaking English. 1343 01:03:05,324 --> 01:03:06,742 Here. Take it. 1344 01:03:08,327 --> 01:03:09,953 [Margy whispering] Don't. Tom. 1345 01:03:12,414 --> 01:03:14,333 We need to get out of here. Where does this tunnel go? 1346 01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:17,544 It leads straight to the pool where the rest of the pirates are. 1347 01:03:17,628 --> 01:03:19,171 Oh, that's not ideal. 1348 01:03:20,964 --> 01:03:22,299 [indistinct radio chatter] 1349 01:03:23,383 --> 01:03:24,760 What are they saying? 1350 01:03:25,344 --> 01:03:26,512 No clue. 1351 01:03:26,595 --> 01:03:30,015 I don't know what language that is, but it ain't Filipino. 1352 01:03:30,766 --> 01:03:32,142 -No. -No. 1353 01:03:36,605 --> 01:03:38,482 No one move. Stay right here. 1354 01:03:39,066 --> 01:03:40,192 Nobody move. 1355 01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:42,861 [Darcy] What are you doing? 1356 01:03:47,199 --> 01:03:49,201 [suspenseful music playing] 1357 01:03:52,704 --> 01:03:53,705 Okay. 1358 01:03:54,122 --> 01:03:56,792 They know someone's here, but they don't know all of us are. 1359 01:03:58,961 --> 01:04:01,964 You stay here until it's over. 1360 01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:04,258 Tom! 1361 01:04:08,637 --> 01:04:10,764 Tom! They're gonna kill you. 1362 01:04:10,847 --> 01:04:12,474 -Don't do this. -[Tom] I have to. 1363 01:04:13,141 --> 01:04:15,394 This isn't about us anymore. This is... 1364 01:04:16,061 --> 01:04:19,064 [sighs] This whole thing is my fault. 1365 01:04:22,276 --> 01:04:24,069 You deserve better. 1366 01:04:24,861 --> 01:04:25,862 Wait, Tom! 1367 01:04:26,613 --> 01:04:27,781 [grunts] 1368 01:04:37,249 --> 01:04:38,375 [groans] 1369 01:04:38,458 --> 01:04:39,876 Uh... Oh, hey. 1370 01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:41,253 Hey, pirates! 1371 01:04:41,336 --> 01:04:43,714 I'm Tom, the groom you guys have been looking for, 1372 01:04:43,797 --> 01:04:44,798 and I am officially surrendering. 1373 01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:45,882 -[pirate 2] Shut up! -[Tom] All right. 1374 01:04:45,966 --> 01:04:47,301 What, you don't like to be called "pirates"? 1375 01:04:47,384 --> 01:04:50,512 I wanted to be a pirate when I was a kid, and you guys are actually doin' it. 1376 01:04:50,596 --> 01:04:52,014 -[pirate 2] Move. -[Tom] You're livin' the dream. 1377 01:04:52,097 --> 01:04:53,056 Congratulations. 1378 01:04:53,515 --> 01:04:56,393 They didn't kill him. Oh, my God. 1379 01:04:56,476 --> 01:04:57,686 He's still alive. 1380 01:04:59,771 --> 01:05:00,772 [pirate 2] Go! 1381 01:05:01,523 --> 01:05:03,734 Keep going. Just move. 1382 01:05:05,902 --> 01:05:08,322 [Carol] Tommy. Oh, my God. It's Tommy. Tommy! 1383 01:05:08,405 --> 01:05:10,157 -[all clamoring] -Shut up! 1384 01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:11,783 -Tommy, where is Darcy? -Shut up! 1385 01:05:11,867 --> 01:05:14,745 [pirate leader] Yes. Where is your bride? 1386 01:05:14,828 --> 01:05:16,496 -I... I don't know. -[stapler clicks] 1387 01:05:17,664 --> 01:05:19,750 Truly. Honestly. I... I... I don't. 1388 01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:22,294 For reals. I don't... I don't... I don't know. 1389 01:05:23,337 --> 01:05:24,796 You're a bad liar. 1390 01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:26,423 Yeah, he is a bad liar. 1391 01:05:26,506 --> 01:05:29,426 Tom, if you know something, the best thing you can do is cooperate. 1392 01:05:29,509 --> 01:05:31,094 All they want is the money. 1393 01:05:32,137 --> 01:05:35,599 You know what? Thank you, Sean, as always, for being the voice of reason. 1394 01:05:35,682 --> 01:05:36,683 Enough! 1395 01:05:36,767 --> 01:05:38,018 -[guns cock] -[guests gasp] 1396 01:05:38,101 --> 01:05:40,270 -Okay, fine! -[Larry] Okay. 1397 01:05:41,229 --> 01:05:42,648 I'll tell you where she is. 1398 01:05:43,857 --> 01:05:45,859 [tense music playing] 1399 01:05:48,362 --> 01:05:49,696 [whispers] Katuk kak ci. 1400 01:05:49,780 --> 01:05:50,739 -[pirate leader] What? -[grunts] 1401 01:05:50,822 --> 01:05:52,115 [guests exclaim] 1402 01:05:52,199 --> 01:05:53,659 Holy shit. What did you say to him? 1403 01:05:53,742 --> 01:05:55,160 [Tom] It's kind of an inside joke, Sean. 1404 01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:56,662 Can you give me a hand? I'm a little woozy. 1405 01:05:56,745 --> 01:05:58,455 [Sean] 'Course, man. Here, I got you. 1406 01:05:58,538 --> 01:06:00,957 -Whoa, whoa! Whoa! -[all screaming] 1407 01:06:01,041 --> 01:06:03,293 -[gun cocks] -What the hell are you doing? 1408 01:06:03,377 --> 01:06:05,337 Don't move or I swear to God, you'll lose an eye. 1409 01:06:05,420 --> 01:06:06,588 Tommy, what are you doing? 1410 01:06:06,672 --> 01:06:08,256 Are you gonna spill the beans or should I? 1411 01:06:08,340 --> 01:06:09,341 What beans? 1412 01:06:09,424 --> 01:06:10,884 [crying] Just spill the beans. 1413 01:06:10,967 --> 01:06:12,552 Sean hired these guys 1414 01:06:12,636 --> 01:06:15,097 to invade our wedding to take Robert's money! 1415 01:06:15,722 --> 01:06:17,265 [Sean] Whoa. No, no, no, no, Tom. 1416 01:06:17,349 --> 01:06:18,433 No, it's true. 1417 01:06:18,517 --> 01:06:20,977 [Sean] That is a serious accusation, 1418 01:06:21,061 --> 01:06:22,437 but it's okay, 1419 01:06:22,521 --> 01:06:24,731 'cause jealousy can get the best of any of us. 1420 01:06:24,815 --> 01:06:26,316 Oh, no, no, no. I'm not jealous. 1421 01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:27,734 -[guests murmur] -[Renata] Kind of. 1422 01:06:27,818 --> 01:06:30,570 It is completely normal for you to see me as a threat 1423 01:06:30,654 --> 01:06:31,988 because Deedee and I 1424 01:06:32,072 --> 01:06:33,865 -had something transcendent. -[scoffs] 1425 01:06:33,949 --> 01:06:36,118 But I am not a bad guy. 1426 01:06:36,201 --> 01:06:38,328 And I definitely don't have anything to do with these pirates. 1427 01:06:38,412 --> 01:06:42,374 Oh, yeah? Then why did he deck me when I told him to go fuck his grandpa? 1428 01:06:42,457 --> 01:06:44,459 Just listen. Listen to yourself. 1429 01:06:44,543 --> 01:06:46,712 I said it in Balinese. These guys are not local. 1430 01:06:46,795 --> 01:06:48,088 They're from Bali. 1431 01:06:48,171 --> 01:06:51,174 Margy said the local pirates just looted and left last time. 1432 01:06:51,258 --> 01:06:52,759 It took 'em, like, 20 minutes. 1433 01:06:52,843 --> 01:06:54,261 Oh, God. "Last time"? 1434 01:06:54,344 --> 01:06:56,263 We were clearly targeted. This whole thing was planned. 1435 01:06:56,346 --> 01:06:59,141 They knew about Robert's money. 1436 01:06:59,224 --> 01:07:02,561 And none of it made sense until I found this. 1437 01:07:02,644 --> 01:07:04,271 [Sean grunting] 1438 01:07:06,106 --> 01:07:07,691 Ricky, grab my... Grab the... the... 1439 01:07:07,774 --> 01:07:09,276 -[Ricky] Yeah, yeah. -In my front pocket. Grab... 1440 01:07:09,359 --> 01:07:10,485 There's an envelope in my front pocket. 1441 01:07:10,569 --> 01:07:12,654 -[all exclaiming] -Just grab it! 1442 01:07:13,113 --> 01:07:14,156 There you go. 1443 01:07:14,239 --> 01:07:15,699 A-ha! 1444 01:07:16,116 --> 01:07:17,367 [pirate leader] Slow, slow. Go slow. 1445 01:07:17,451 --> 01:07:18,702 [Tom laughs] 1446 01:07:19,161 --> 01:07:20,370 Your wedding invitation? 1447 01:07:20,454 --> 01:07:22,998 [Tom] Yes, but I got it off of one of these guys. 1448 01:07:23,081 --> 01:07:25,459 Now, how did they get that invitation? 1449 01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:27,127 -[Carol] I don't know. -[Larry] Uh... 1450 01:07:27,210 --> 01:07:29,588 It had to be given to him by an invited guest. 1451 01:07:30,505 --> 01:07:33,425 Now, what invited guest could that be? Huh? 1452 01:07:36,011 --> 01:07:37,429 Ricky, op... open it. 1453 01:07:39,222 --> 01:07:40,682 A-ha! 1454 01:07:42,142 --> 01:07:46,605 This asshat thought it was appropriate to show up to a wedding he didn't RSVP to! 1455 01:07:46,688 --> 01:07:48,774 He didn't RSVP! 1456 01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:50,776 Mom, that's not the main issue right now. 1457 01:07:50,859 --> 01:07:54,362 Look, I'm a mother. I can be upset about a lot of things at the same time. 1458 01:07:54,446 --> 01:07:55,989 I think, right now, we should be upset about one thing. 1459 01:07:56,573 --> 01:07:59,159 -Oh, okay. -[Tom] Sean had these guys 1460 01:07:59,242 --> 01:08:01,661 crash our wedding so that he could get a big fat ransom 1461 01:08:01,745 --> 01:08:03,246 from his best friend, Robert. 1462 01:08:03,330 --> 01:08:04,915 [guests exclaiming] 1463 01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:08,126 Huh? Yeah! 1464 01:08:08,210 --> 01:08:10,212 -[Sean] Bob... Bob. -[Tom] Yes! 1465 01:08:10,295 --> 01:08:11,713 This is because I didn't give you 1466 01:08:11,797 --> 01:08:13,548 that investment money you wanted, isn't it? 1467 01:08:13,632 --> 01:08:15,050 -Yeah. -No, no, it's not like that. 1468 01:08:15,133 --> 01:08:16,802 -[exclaims in Spanish] -How could... Papi. 1469 01:08:16,885 --> 01:08:19,554 How could you believe that I would come here and betray ev... 1470 01:08:19,638 --> 01:08:20,847 [Tom] Believe it, Robert. Believe it. 1471 01:08:21,973 --> 01:08:23,934 -That's right. That's right. -Shit. 1472 01:08:24,309 --> 01:08:25,811 -[grunts] -[all gasp] 1473 01:08:30,774 --> 01:08:31,900 [guests clamoring] 1474 01:08:31,983 --> 01:08:35,654 See? See, I told ya! I told ya! 1475 01:08:36,863 --> 01:08:41,535 [Margy] These lanterns are so intricate. Is there a note in it? 1476 01:08:46,414 --> 01:08:48,792 "Be excellent to each other." 1477 01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:50,544 -[Ace] Hmm. -[Margy] Hmm. Huh. 1478 01:08:53,797 --> 01:08:56,258 [wheezing cry] 1479 01:08:58,510 --> 01:09:01,513 It's from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. 1480 01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:06,351 Tom wanted to put a movie quote in each one of the lanterns, and I... 1481 01:09:06,434 --> 01:09:09,729 I thought it was stupid, but it's not. 1482 01:09:09,813 --> 01:09:12,023 It's sweet. 1483 01:09:12,107 --> 01:09:14,025 And I messed it all up. 1484 01:09:14,109 --> 01:09:16,152 I don't know how you guys do it. 1485 01:09:16,236 --> 01:09:19,281 You must have something really special. [sniffles] 1486 01:09:19,739 --> 01:09:22,325 -Not really. -Oi. 1487 01:09:22,409 --> 01:09:26,204 Uh, I mean, it is special but it is not magic. 1488 01:09:26,288 --> 01:09:28,373 We just made a vow. 1489 01:09:28,456 --> 01:09:31,126 And we've messed things up thousands of times. 1490 01:09:31,209 --> 01:09:35,171 But when we break something, we fix it. 1491 01:09:37,591 --> 01:09:39,342 [patting Margy] 1492 01:09:46,308 --> 01:09:48,310 [dramatic music playing] 1493 01:09:49,686 --> 01:09:53,064 [Margy] Darcy, we come with you, but we don't want to. 1494 01:09:59,738 --> 01:10:01,740 Tommy finally made the big leagues. 1495 01:10:01,823 --> 01:10:04,034 Yeah, I never heard that one before. 1496 01:10:04,451 --> 01:10:06,119 I know you haven't. 1497 01:10:06,828 --> 01:10:09,331 -Where is she? -I don't know. 1498 01:10:09,414 --> 01:10:10,916 I don't... I... I don't... I don't know. 1499 01:10:10,999 --> 01:10:13,793 -You're lying. -No, I'm... I'm... Honestly, 1500 01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:15,420 -I don't know. -Okay. 1501 01:10:16,546 --> 01:10:18,089 -[grunts] -[guests exclaiming] 1502 01:10:19,049 --> 01:10:20,091 God damn it! 1503 01:10:20,175 --> 01:10:21,468 -Would you stop doing that? -[Caro] Yeah. 1504 01:10:21,551 --> 01:10:24,429 -He'll do it again. -[Tom] Fine. Fine. 1505 01:10:24,512 --> 01:10:25,597 I was lying. 1506 01:10:25,680 --> 01:10:27,474 [guests agreeing] 1507 01:10:27,557 --> 01:10:30,685 After we cut ourselves loose, Darcy and I got into a fight. 1508 01:10:30,769 --> 01:10:33,188 She hopped in a golf cart to go look for cell reception 1509 01:10:33,271 --> 01:10:35,941 up by the northern coast near the cliffs, and then I... 1510 01:10:36,024 --> 01:10:38,109 I came back here to try to rescue everyone. 1511 01:10:38,652 --> 01:10:39,819 [Ricky] Come on! 1512 01:10:43,990 --> 01:10:45,200 Okay. 1513 01:10:45,283 --> 01:10:46,326 [sighs] 1514 01:10:46,826 --> 01:10:48,286 [pirate leader] We'll take the chopper to find her. 1515 01:10:48,370 --> 01:10:49,788 I'm comin' with you. 1516 01:10:49,871 --> 01:10:51,915 I've been watching you mess this up all day. 1517 01:10:51,998 --> 01:10:53,667 This is my show now. 1518 01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:55,126 [mouthing] Wow, that's really good. 1519 01:10:55,210 --> 01:10:56,962 We're doing this my way now. You got it? 1520 01:10:57,879 --> 01:10:58,964 We need collateral. 1521 01:11:00,757 --> 01:11:02,842 [unsettling music playing] 1522 01:11:09,516 --> 01:11:10,517 Get the girlfriend. 1523 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:12,894 -[all clamoring] -[pirate 1] Hey. Come. 1524 01:11:12,978 --> 01:11:14,938 -Here. Move! -Ow! Hey. 1525 01:11:15,021 --> 01:11:16,564 Oh, no. 1526 01:11:16,648 --> 01:11:18,692 -[pirate 1] Go. Move! -Please, I'm a Gemini. 1527 01:11:18,775 --> 01:11:20,485 I bruise easily. 1528 01:11:21,444 --> 01:11:22,779 -[pirate 1] Go! -[Harriett] Ow! Ow! Ow! 1529 01:11:22,862 --> 01:11:24,656 -Oh, my God! -[Sean] Robert? Robert! 1530 01:11:25,365 --> 01:11:27,617 When I get back, that money better be in my account. 1531 01:11:27,701 --> 01:11:29,369 And if it's not, she's dead. 1532 01:11:29,452 --> 01:11:31,371 And I treated you just like a son. 1533 01:11:32,038 --> 01:11:33,957 -You're stuck with Tommy now. -Robert. 1534 01:11:34,040 --> 01:11:36,251 -Well, what's wrong with that? -Fuck off. 1535 01:11:36,334 --> 01:11:39,004 -[dramatic music playing] -[imperceptible] 1536 01:11:46,052 --> 01:11:47,345 [soft thud] 1537 01:11:49,347 --> 01:11:50,557 [thud] 1538 01:11:52,934 --> 01:11:54,269 [pirates chattering] 1539 01:11:54,686 --> 01:11:56,896 [indistinct chatter] 1540 01:11:58,481 --> 01:12:00,400 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1541 01:12:01,776 --> 01:12:03,611 -[cocks gun] -[all exclaiming] 1542 01:12:04,446 --> 01:12:05,488 Darcy... 1543 01:12:05,572 --> 01:12:10,368 Tom, you promised you wouldn't leave my side this weekend. 1544 01:12:10,452 --> 01:12:11,870 Darcy, what are you doing? 1545 01:12:12,287 --> 01:12:13,455 Tom, listen. 1546 01:12:13,955 --> 01:12:16,541 I'm still mad at you for picking this pirate island, 1547 01:12:16,624 --> 01:12:19,210 but I messed up too. I should've told you... 1548 01:12:20,503 --> 01:12:22,422 how scared I was to get married. 1549 01:12:23,173 --> 01:12:24,507 That wasn't fair. 1550 01:12:24,591 --> 01:12:26,426 You worked so hard on this pirate island wedding. 1551 01:12:26,509 --> 01:12:28,511 Okay, no, no, no. Please stop calling it that. 1552 01:12:28,595 --> 01:12:30,889 I just worried that if I told you... 1553 01:12:33,516 --> 01:12:34,934 that I would lose you. 1554 01:12:38,480 --> 01:12:40,607 And I can't lose you. 1555 01:12:43,193 --> 01:12:44,444 I need you. 1556 01:12:48,531 --> 01:12:49,741 Okay? 1557 01:12:53,411 --> 01:12:54,412 [shouts] Okay? 1558 01:12:54,496 --> 01:12:55,413 -[all clamor] -Okay. 1559 01:12:55,497 --> 01:12:57,082 -Okay. -[Tom] Okay. 1560 01:12:57,165 --> 01:12:59,209 This is so much better than South Pacific. 1561 01:12:59,292 --> 01:13:00,752 And Mom, Dad? 1562 01:13:01,294 --> 01:13:03,171 -[all exclaiming] -[Jamie screams] 1563 01:13:03,254 --> 01:13:04,255 Whoa! 1564 01:13:04,339 --> 01:13:05,381 -[Ricky] Babe. -What the fuck? 1565 01:13:05,465 --> 01:13:06,424 Did you just shoot me? 1566 01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:08,676 Stop shooting your sister! 1567 01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:11,096 I didn't mean to. It was a mistake. I... 1568 01:13:11,888 --> 01:13:13,389 [all gasp] 1569 01:13:14,641 --> 01:13:16,392 Mom, Dad, apologize to Tom. 1570 01:13:16,476 --> 01:13:18,019 -What? Why? -What? 1571 01:13:18,103 --> 01:13:20,647 For criticizing this beautiful wedding that he planned, 1572 01:13:20,730 --> 01:13:23,650 and for never making him feel welcome in our family. 1573 01:13:23,733 --> 01:13:25,735 And for inviting Sean to our wedding. 1574 01:13:25,819 --> 01:13:27,612 Okay, honey, but I think there's 1575 01:13:27,695 --> 01:13:29,280 -a more pressing issue... -Apologize! 1576 01:13:29,364 --> 01:13:31,407 -[all exclaiming] -He is the best person 1577 01:13:31,491 --> 01:13:32,492 that I know. 1578 01:13:32,575 --> 01:13:34,577 And if you say one more bad thing about him, 1579 01:13:34,661 --> 01:13:36,996 I swear I will shoot you like I shot Jamie. 1580 01:13:38,706 --> 01:13:39,707 Tom, I'm sorry. Sorry. 1581 01:13:39,791 --> 01:13:41,000 -Tom, sorry. Sorry. -We love you. 1582 01:13:41,084 --> 01:13:42,168 -Oh, hey, it's fine. -You're the best person 1583 01:13:42,252 --> 01:13:43,503 -I've ever met. -[Tom] It's okay. I love you. 1584 01:13:43,586 --> 01:13:44,838 -We love you like family. -I love you, too. 1585 01:13:44,921 --> 01:13:46,756 -All right. It's all good. -I love this place. Beautiful. 1586 01:13:46,840 --> 01:13:48,091 And, Carol, Larry... 1587 01:13:48,174 --> 01:13:49,467 -[all gasp] -I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 1588 01:13:49,551 --> 01:13:53,388 This was more about me and my family, but we should get lunch sometime. 1589 01:13:53,471 --> 01:13:54,472 -I would... -Oh, yeah, 1590 01:13:54,556 --> 01:13:55,974 -lunch sounds great. Yeah. -We love eating. 1591 01:13:56,057 --> 01:13:58,268 It's hard for anyone to live up to your perfect marriage. 1592 01:13:58,351 --> 01:14:00,436 [chuckles] Who told you we had a perfect marriage? 1593 01:14:00,520 --> 01:14:02,772 Oh, come on, Mom. You guys fought, like, once. 1594 01:14:02,856 --> 01:14:04,149 It was about who loved the dog more. 1595 01:14:04,232 --> 01:14:06,359 I mean, what is not perfect about your marriage? 1596 01:14:06,985 --> 01:14:09,988 Well, I made love to your Aunt Marie. 1597 01:14:10,071 --> 01:14:11,322 -[all exclaiming] -[Ricky] What? 1598 01:14:11,406 --> 01:14:12,866 -[Larry] Yeah. -[Carol] Then I went out 1599 01:14:12,949 --> 01:14:14,617 and started doing all this weird sex stuff 1600 01:14:14,701 --> 01:14:15,869 with Jim Roberts. 1601 01:14:15,952 --> 01:14:17,203 [Larry] Yeah. You and Jim Roberts 1602 01:14:17,287 --> 01:14:19,080 -went on for a couple months. -[Carol] Yes. 1603 01:14:19,164 --> 01:14:21,708 -Because our bodies just fit. -[man] Holy... 1604 01:14:21,791 --> 01:14:24,460 [Carol] In the end, Jim Roberts just wasn't your dad. 1605 01:14:24,544 --> 01:14:26,796 And Aunt Marie realized that she had a sex addiction. 1606 01:14:27,463 --> 01:14:30,216 But then you know what? We worked it out. 1607 01:14:33,178 --> 01:14:34,929 These are some incredible breakthroughs, 1608 01:14:35,013 --> 01:14:36,347 -right? I mean... -[pirate 2] Give me that! 1609 01:14:36,431 --> 01:14:37,432 [all screaming] 1610 01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:38,808 You remember me, huh? 1611 01:14:38,892 --> 01:14:40,852 Look, you burn my face. Huh? 1612 01:14:40,935 --> 01:14:42,478 Yes, I know. I still feel really bad about that. 1613 01:14:46,024 --> 01:14:47,984 Everybody, in the pool! Now! 1614 01:14:48,067 --> 01:14:50,278 -[fires gun] -[all screaming] 1615 01:14:50,361 --> 01:14:52,113 Get in the pool! In! 1616 01:14:52,947 --> 01:14:54,407 Go! Go! 1617 01:14:54,949 --> 01:14:56,618 [Tom panting] 1618 01:14:57,577 --> 01:14:59,204 -Hey, you okay? -Yes. 1619 01:14:59,287 --> 01:15:00,955 -Yeah? -Are we missing people? 1620 01:15:01,456 --> 01:15:03,917 Yeah. Turns out your boy Sean's an asshole. 1621 01:15:05,793 --> 01:15:06,836 We have the bride. 1622 01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:08,546 -[helicopter whirring] -[on radio] Do you copy? 1623 01:15:09,881 --> 01:15:11,341 Do you copy? 1624 01:15:16,888 --> 01:15:18,306 Up! Up! 1625 01:15:18,389 --> 01:15:20,516 -[indistinct talking] -Listen to me. Move. 1626 01:15:20,600 --> 01:15:23,478 Balinese? So these guys are Balinese? 1627 01:15:23,561 --> 01:15:26,397 And Sean is full of shit, and they took Harriett hostage? 1628 01:15:26,481 --> 01:15:27,523 It doesn't make sense. 1629 01:15:27,607 --> 01:15:29,859 Why would Sean take Harriett hostage on the helicopter 1630 01:15:29,943 --> 01:15:31,778 when she was already being held hostage here? 1631 01:15:31,861 --> 01:15:34,405 I don't know. Maybe he wanted to take her extra hostage. 1632 01:15:34,489 --> 01:15:36,366 [Larry] I think Harriett is in on it. 1633 01:15:36,824 --> 01:15:39,410 -[Tom] What? -[Darcy] What do you mean? 1634 01:15:44,999 --> 01:15:46,918 Harriett and Sean... 1635 01:15:47,961 --> 01:15:49,254 are boyfriend-girlfriend. 1636 01:15:49,337 --> 01:15:50,797 -Oh, come on. -Boyfriend-girlfriend? 1637 01:15:50,880 --> 01:15:52,257 [Larry] No, no. Look. 1638 01:15:52,924 --> 01:15:54,634 This is from last night. 1639 01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:56,636 Here we go. [grunts] 1640 01:15:56,719 --> 01:15:58,054 [Latin dance music playing] 1641 01:15:58,137 --> 01:15:59,764 Let's see. 1642 01:15:59,847 --> 01:16:02,684 Uh, hold on. Let me find it. 1643 01:16:03,685 --> 01:16:05,436 Oh. Oh, boy. 1644 01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:07,105 Yeah. There you go. 1645 01:16:08,273 --> 01:16:09,983 [all exclaim] 1646 01:16:15,697 --> 01:16:17,740 What? Go ahead. Say it. 1647 01:16:17,824 --> 01:16:18,908 Roberto... 1648 01:16:22,829 --> 01:16:24,539 Lo siento. 1649 01:16:27,041 --> 01:16:28,293 Gracias. 1650 01:16:29,585 --> 01:16:30,920 De nada. 1651 01:16:32,422 --> 01:16:34,799 [dramatic music playing] 1652 01:16:34,882 --> 01:16:36,050 [pirate leader] There! 1653 01:16:42,181 --> 01:16:45,476 Sean, you promised this job would make us rich. 1654 01:16:45,560 --> 01:16:47,770 So far, all it's done is killed four of my men. 1655 01:16:47,854 --> 01:16:49,272 Man, you know we can fix this. 1656 01:16:49,355 --> 01:16:51,941 Deal is off. I keep the money. 1657 01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:54,152 You walk away with your life. 1658 01:16:54,235 --> 01:16:56,779 I don't wanna hear it. You and I had an arrangement. 1659 01:16:56,863 --> 01:16:59,240 Sean, be reasonable. He saved us. 1660 01:16:59,324 --> 01:17:01,200 -We're lucky to be alive. -What are you talking about? 1661 01:17:01,284 --> 01:17:03,536 Listen to your woman. 1662 01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:05,038 -[yelps] -Oh. 1663 01:17:05,121 --> 01:17:07,749 It's okay. It's just a pressure point. Relax. 1664 01:17:08,291 --> 01:17:10,001 Just breathe into it. 1665 01:17:10,752 --> 01:17:11,878 What? 1666 01:17:13,504 --> 01:17:14,589 What? 1667 01:17:15,089 --> 01:17:16,507 Take us back down. 1668 01:17:16,591 --> 01:17:18,801 We'll finish the job ourselves. 1669 01:17:18,885 --> 01:17:20,428 -Babe. -What? 1670 01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:23,890 -Excellent idea. -Yeah, I know. 1671 01:17:23,973 --> 01:17:26,517 [screams] I have to do everything myself! 1672 01:17:29,312 --> 01:17:31,522 What are we gonna do? They'll be back any minute. 1673 01:17:31,606 --> 01:17:33,524 -Just... -[pirate 2] Hey, hey, hey! 1674 01:17:34,192 --> 01:17:36,861 No whispers. Or I throw grenade in the pool. 1675 01:17:42,950 --> 01:17:43,951 [whispering] Okay. 1676 01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,996 Go with me, okay? 1677 01:17:47,080 --> 01:17:48,289 Just go with me. 1678 01:17:48,998 --> 01:17:50,333 [in normal tone] Hey, everybody. 1679 01:17:51,542 --> 01:17:53,628 Look, I know this may not be the best time, 1680 01:17:54,837 --> 01:17:57,215 but this may be our only chance to have our wedding. 1681 01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:00,218 What do you say, Darcy? 1682 01:18:01,427 --> 01:18:02,929 Yeah, I... I love it. 1683 01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:06,474 Can... Can we do bride's side on the left and groom's on the right? 1684 01:18:10,103 --> 01:18:11,479 [all agreeing] 1685 01:18:11,562 --> 01:18:13,064 Hey, Margy, will you officiate? 1686 01:18:14,023 --> 01:18:16,317 [pirate 2] Hey, will you stop? Stop it! Stop it now! 1687 01:18:16,401 --> 01:18:17,777 [Robert] Wait, wait. If... 1688 01:18:17,860 --> 01:18:21,197 If you let my daughter have her wedding, I'll... I'll release the funds. 1689 01:18:28,204 --> 01:18:29,580 Okay, let's go. 1690 01:18:36,796 --> 01:18:38,047 Let's go. 1691 01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:40,049 Thanks, Dad. 1692 01:18:40,550 --> 01:18:41,717 It's okay, princess. 1693 01:18:41,801 --> 01:18:43,594 There are some things that are more important than money. 1694 01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:46,973 I don't know what they are, but I think, uh... 1695 01:18:58,985 --> 01:18:59,986 [Darcy sighs] 1696 01:19:00,069 --> 01:19:01,654 Hope you know what you're doing. 1697 01:19:07,869 --> 01:19:09,996 [Carol hums] 1698 01:19:15,126 --> 01:19:17,670 ♪ The strands in your eyes ♪ 1699 01:19:17,753 --> 01:19:20,590 ♪ They color them wonderful ♪ 1700 01:19:20,673 --> 01:19:24,886 ♪ Stops me And steals my breath ♪ 1701 01:19:25,553 --> 01:19:27,972 [both] ♪ Emeralds from mountains ♪ 1702 01:19:28,222 --> 01:19:30,641 ♪ Thrust from the sky ♪ 1703 01:19:30,725 --> 01:19:34,729 ♪ Never revealing their depth ♪ 1704 01:19:35,313 --> 01:19:37,148 ♪ And tell me ♪ 1705 01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:40,485 ♪ We belong together ♪ 1706 01:19:40,568 --> 01:19:44,989 ♪ Dress it up with the trappings of love ♪ 1707 01:19:45,072 --> 01:19:47,575 ♪ I'll be captivated ♪ 1708 01:19:47,658 --> 01:19:50,286 ♪ I'll hang from your lips ♪ 1709 01:19:50,369 --> 01:19:52,580 ♪ Instead of the gallows ♪ 1710 01:19:52,663 --> 01:19:58,085 ♪ Of heartaches That hang from above ♪ 1711 01:19:58,169 --> 01:20:03,674 ♪ And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪ 1712 01:20:03,758 --> 01:20:08,221 ♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪ 1713 01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:14,060 ♪ And I'll be better When I'm older ♪ 1714 01:20:14,143 --> 01:20:19,023 ♪ I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪ 1715 01:20:19,106 --> 01:20:24,237 ♪ And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪ 1716 01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:29,033 ♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪ 1717 01:20:29,116 --> 01:20:31,953 -♪ And I'll be ♪ -[Renata] ♪ I'll be ♪ 1718 01:20:32,036 --> 01:20:34,497 ♪ Better when I'm older ♪ 1719 01:20:34,580 --> 01:20:39,961 ♪ I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪ 1720 01:20:40,044 --> 01:20:41,170 ♪ I'll be ♪ 1721 01:20:41,254 --> 01:20:42,880 [clamoring] 1722 01:20:43,422 --> 01:20:45,091 [Carol screaming] 1723 01:20:45,841 --> 01:20:48,094 -Whoa, whoa, whoa. -[cocks gun] 1724 01:20:48,177 --> 01:20:49,637 I think you'd regret that. 1725 01:20:51,430 --> 01:20:53,015 [all gasp] 1726 01:20:53,975 --> 01:20:55,601 [pirate 2] Oh! No, no. Stop. 1727 01:20:55,685 --> 01:20:56,769 I'm fairly new to grenades. 1728 01:20:56,852 --> 01:21:00,731 But I'm pretty sure that if you shoot me, this springy thing pops off, 1729 01:21:00,815 --> 01:21:02,692 and then this thing blows us all away. 1730 01:21:02,775 --> 01:21:04,026 -Ain't that right, babe? -That's right, baby. 1731 01:21:04,110 --> 01:21:06,237 -[pirate 2] No, no, no. -[woman] What the... 1732 01:21:06,737 --> 01:21:07,822 Drop the guns. 1733 01:21:10,324 --> 01:21:11,826 -[pirate 2] No. -[grunts] 1734 01:21:11,909 --> 01:21:14,036 [all screaming and clamoring] 1735 01:21:22,795 --> 01:21:23,921 [muffled screaming] 1736 01:21:24,005 --> 01:21:25,464 I can't throw that far. It won't reach him. 1737 01:21:27,383 --> 01:21:28,467 [cocks gun] 1738 01:21:28,551 --> 01:21:30,636 Nobody fucks with my family. 1739 01:21:30,720 --> 01:21:33,097 [rock music playing] 1740 01:21:43,316 --> 01:21:45,401 Darcy? Give me a meatball. 1741 01:21:45,693 --> 01:21:46,861 -[gun clicks] -Shit. 1742 01:21:50,031 --> 01:21:51,657 [all exclaim] 1743 01:21:53,576 --> 01:21:55,536 [all exclaiming] 1744 01:21:55,620 --> 01:21:57,663 [fireworks whistling] 1745 01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:04,253 I know where to go! 1746 01:22:04,337 --> 01:22:06,213 Let's get moving! Out of the pool! 1747 01:22:06,297 --> 01:22:07,590 -[Tom] Yeah! -Come on! Come, come, come! 1748 01:22:07,673 --> 01:22:09,050 [Darcy] Get out of the pool! Come on! 1749 01:22:11,594 --> 01:22:14,013 -[Tom] Yeah, let's go. -[Ace] Margy! The spa! 1750 01:22:14,096 --> 01:22:15,556 [Darcy] It's safe in the spa! 1751 01:22:15,640 --> 01:22:17,850 [Harriett] They should've been killing hostages every hour. 1752 01:22:17,933 --> 01:22:20,353 Killing people works, Sean. 1753 01:22:20,436 --> 01:22:21,979 -Fuck. -Look, give me one chance 1754 01:22:22,063 --> 01:22:23,064 to convince Darcy. 1755 01:22:23,147 --> 01:22:25,566 -All right? One. -Fine. One chance. 1756 01:22:27,318 --> 01:22:28,861 Thank you, baby. 1757 01:22:29,862 --> 01:22:32,073 This is not a moment right now, Sean. 1758 01:22:34,033 --> 01:22:36,160 -Move, come on! Come on! -[pirate] All right! 1759 01:22:37,370 --> 01:22:40,289 Mom! Mom, we're gonna go get help. 1760 01:22:40,373 --> 01:22:42,375 I need you to take care of them. Can you do that? 1761 01:22:45,127 --> 01:22:46,462 And Carol... 1762 01:22:47,713 --> 01:22:49,423 thank you for the cake knife. 1763 01:22:50,716 --> 01:22:52,510 I fucking love this cake knife. 1764 01:22:52,593 --> 01:22:54,303 [Carol chuckles] 1765 01:22:59,266 --> 01:23:01,727 ["No ordinary" by Labrinth playing] 1766 01:23:04,188 --> 01:23:06,524 It's just you and me now. Let's go. 1767 01:23:07,983 --> 01:23:09,235 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1768 01:23:10,736 --> 01:23:17,702 ♪ Yeah, me in awe of you now ♪ 1769 01:23:19,328 --> 01:23:20,663 ♪ Hmm ♪ 1770 01:23:22,081 --> 01:23:24,959 -♪ This song call ♪ -♪ Unconditional ♪ 1771 01:23:25,042 --> 01:23:28,546 -♪ This show no devotion ♪ -♪ Devotion ♪ 1772 01:23:28,629 --> 01:23:31,465 ♪ Got my heart so wide open ♪ 1773 01:23:31,549 --> 01:23:33,300 ♪ Lifting my spirit Like a Holy Ghost ♪ 1774 01:23:33,384 --> 01:23:36,178 -♪ All this ♪ -♪ All this love, love ♪ 1775 01:23:36,262 --> 01:23:40,182 -♪ No ordinary love ♪ -♪ Ordinary love ♪ 1776 01:23:41,809 --> 01:23:43,394 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1777 01:23:45,396 --> 01:23:46,814 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1778 01:23:46,897 --> 01:23:48,023 [phone camera clicks] 1779 01:23:48,107 --> 01:23:50,901 ♪ Ah, la, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1780 01:23:50,985 --> 01:23:53,028 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1781 01:23:53,112 --> 01:23:56,490 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la-love ♪ 1782 01:23:56,574 --> 01:23:58,993 ♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪ 1783 01:23:59,076 --> 01:24:02,037 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1784 01:24:03,330 --> 01:24:05,291 [imperceptible] 1785 01:24:17,428 --> 01:24:20,306 ♪ I need you in my arm ♪ 1786 01:24:20,639 --> 01:24:22,057 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 1787 01:24:24,143 --> 01:24:25,269 ♪ Hey ♪ 1788 01:24:30,024 --> 01:24:36,697 ♪ All this no ordinary love ♪ 1789 01:24:36,781 --> 01:24:38,449 ♪ Love, love, love, love ♪ 1790 01:24:38,532 --> 01:24:39,784 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1791 01:24:43,162 --> 01:24:44,955 [Tom] Hey, wasn't this the plan with too many steps? 1792 01:24:54,924 --> 01:24:56,258 You did this for me? 1793 01:24:57,760 --> 01:24:59,094 [Tom] Is this what you wanted? 1794 01:24:59,178 --> 01:25:00,763 Just you and me in the middle of the ocean? 1795 01:25:03,599 --> 01:25:06,060 Darcy, I'm sorry I stopped listening to you. 1796 01:25:06,143 --> 01:25:08,270 I just thought that if I planned the perfect wedding, 1797 01:25:08,354 --> 01:25:10,272 we could have the perfect marriage, but... 1798 01:25:11,065 --> 01:25:12,441 But that doesn't exist. 1799 01:25:13,067 --> 01:25:14,735 I mean, look at my parents. 1800 01:25:14,819 --> 01:25:16,987 My Aunt Marie, the sex addict. 1801 01:25:18,364 --> 01:25:21,617 I just wanna be with you. All that matters is you. 1802 01:25:22,368 --> 01:25:23,786 We don't ever have to get married. 1803 01:25:25,496 --> 01:25:27,414 And if we survive this thing, can we just... 1804 01:25:28,958 --> 01:25:30,209 Can we start over? 1805 01:25:32,503 --> 01:25:33,879 -[gunshots] -[Darcy screams] 1806 01:25:36,173 --> 01:25:37,508 [Tom] Go, go, go, go. 1807 01:25:37,925 --> 01:25:39,760 [Sean] Deedee, listen to me! 1808 01:25:40,427 --> 01:25:43,264 Deedee, this is a huge misunderstanding, all right? 1809 01:25:43,347 --> 01:25:47,768 Let's go back to the resort, talk this over. I do not want to hurt you. 1810 01:25:47,852 --> 01:25:49,395 Then stop shooting at us, asshole! 1811 01:25:49,478 --> 01:25:51,397 And stop calling her Deedee! 1812 01:25:51,480 --> 01:25:53,065 -[Darcy] Fuck! -Oh, Jesus! 1813 01:25:54,275 --> 01:25:55,734 This thing is awful! 1814 01:25:56,360 --> 01:25:57,903 [screaming] Yeah! 1815 01:25:58,237 --> 01:26:00,906 Asshole! Fuckin' leave! What the fuck? 1816 01:26:02,491 --> 01:26:05,536 God, I can't believe you, Sean! When did you turn into such a monster? 1817 01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:07,621 [Sean] I am not a monster! 1818 01:26:07,705 --> 01:26:09,081 I'm an entrepreneur! 1819 01:26:09,164 --> 01:26:10,624 I think I'm out of ammo. 1820 01:26:10,708 --> 01:26:12,084 -Are you sure? -Not at all. 1821 01:26:12,543 --> 01:26:13,627 Hey. 1822 01:26:18,757 --> 01:26:19,884 -Yeah. -[Sean] I don't wanna do this. 1823 01:26:19,967 --> 01:26:21,302 -[gunshot] -I'm a good guy, damn it! 1824 01:26:21,385 --> 01:26:22,887 [gunshots] 1825 01:26:22,970 --> 01:26:24,388 -[gun clicking] -Shit. 1826 01:26:24,972 --> 01:26:26,390 [Sean] Your boat's dead. 1827 01:26:26,473 --> 01:26:29,935 We're both out of ammo. Let's just go back and we can work this whole thing out. 1828 01:26:30,019 --> 01:26:31,395 [breathing heavily] 1829 01:26:34,523 --> 01:26:35,566 [grunts] 1830 01:26:35,649 --> 01:26:37,359 [both grunting] 1831 01:26:37,943 --> 01:26:39,695 [engine starts] 1832 01:26:39,778 --> 01:26:40,988 [Darcy] Tom! 1833 01:26:41,071 --> 01:26:42,281 [Tom grunts] 1834 01:26:44,450 --> 01:26:45,534 [Tom] Go, go! 1835 01:26:47,077 --> 01:26:49,163 [tense music playing] 1836 01:26:52,499 --> 01:26:53,542 [Sean yells] 1837 01:26:56,420 --> 01:26:58,464 [helicopter whirring] 1838 01:26:59,632 --> 01:27:01,634 [intense music playing] 1839 01:27:21,528 --> 01:27:23,322 Darcy, turn this boat around right now. 1840 01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:25,741 [Darcy] No. 1841 01:27:28,452 --> 01:27:31,121 You're a piece of shit, Sean, but I know you can't kill me. 1842 01:27:31,205 --> 01:27:32,206 You're right. 1843 01:27:32,748 --> 01:27:34,625 But I would love to kill this guy. 1844 01:27:35,125 --> 01:27:37,836 You just keep messing things up, man. This is on you. 1845 01:27:37,920 --> 01:27:40,881 I don't wanna do this. I'm a good guy. 1846 01:27:41,966 --> 01:27:43,300 No, you're not. 1847 01:27:44,093 --> 01:27:46,178 All right, you're right. I'm not. 1848 01:27:46,679 --> 01:27:47,805 [Darcy shrieks] 1849 01:27:47,888 --> 01:27:49,056 [Tom gasps] 1850 01:27:49,515 --> 01:27:50,891 -[engine revs] -[Sean screams] 1851 01:27:50,975 --> 01:27:53,060 [music continues] 1852 01:27:54,019 --> 01:27:55,562 [both grunting] 1853 01:27:58,065 --> 01:27:58,899 [whimpers] 1854 01:28:00,985 --> 01:28:02,152 Sean! 1855 01:28:04,989 --> 01:28:06,448 [grunting continues] 1856 01:28:08,283 --> 01:28:10,035 You were a pity invite! 1857 01:28:10,119 --> 01:28:11,453 -[Darcy grunts] -Shit! 1858 01:28:11,537 --> 01:28:13,288 Whoa! Whoa! 1859 01:28:19,586 --> 01:28:21,380 No! Fuck! 1860 01:28:21,463 --> 01:28:22,881 [groans] 1861 01:28:22,965 --> 01:28:24,675 [Sean and Tom grunting] 1862 01:28:28,053 --> 01:28:29,096 [Tom screams] 1863 01:28:33,892 --> 01:28:34,935 [yelps] 1864 01:28:40,190 --> 01:28:41,191 -[gunshot] -[yelps] 1865 01:28:46,739 --> 01:28:48,574 Is that a wad of loose hair? 1866 01:28:48,657 --> 01:28:50,159 [Tom] Custom-made hair! 1867 01:28:50,242 --> 01:28:51,827 [Tom grunts] 1868 01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:53,871 [heroic music playing] 1869 01:28:55,664 --> 01:28:56,915 [gasps] 1870 01:29:03,922 --> 01:29:05,007 [Tom laughs] 1871 01:29:06,300 --> 01:29:08,052 [intense music playing] 1872 01:29:08,135 --> 01:29:09,094 -Get down! -[screams] 1873 01:29:14,224 --> 01:29:15,392 Oh, frick. 1874 01:29:15,976 --> 01:29:17,352 [Sean screams] 1875 01:29:23,859 --> 01:29:24,860 [Tom] Hold on. 1876 01:29:30,699 --> 01:29:32,534 Oh, shit. 1877 01:29:34,787 --> 01:29:35,996 [Darcy shrieks] 1878 01:29:36,789 --> 01:29:38,373 [engine whines] 1879 01:29:44,671 --> 01:29:45,881 [Darcy gasps] 1880 01:29:47,424 --> 01:29:48,801 Holy shit. 1881 01:29:54,348 --> 01:29:56,767 ["No ordinary" by Labrinth playing] 1882 01:30:23,001 --> 01:30:24,711 So when I asked you before 1883 01:30:26,296 --> 01:30:27,506 if we could start over... 1884 01:30:30,342 --> 01:30:31,885 I don't wanna start over. 1885 01:30:43,230 --> 01:30:44,815 I wanna keep going. 1886 01:30:45,649 --> 01:30:47,651 [tender music playing] 1887 01:30:59,288 --> 01:31:00,747 Tom Fowler, 1888 01:31:01,790 --> 01:31:03,250 will you marry me? 1889 01:31:09,798 --> 01:31:11,008 Are you sure? 1890 01:31:12,926 --> 01:31:14,052 You're not scared? 1891 01:31:16,013 --> 01:31:17,890 I'm terrified. [breath trembling] 1892 01:31:19,141 --> 01:31:21,977 Life is always gonna be chaotic. 1893 01:31:23,937 --> 01:31:25,689 But what I know for sure... 1894 01:31:27,482 --> 01:31:30,152 is that I wanna go through all of it with you. 1895 01:31:32,905 --> 01:31:34,948 It's simple, really. [sniffles] 1896 01:31:37,075 --> 01:31:38,702 Just a plan with one step. 1897 01:31:48,462 --> 01:31:49,546 Still fits. 1898 01:31:55,886 --> 01:31:58,096 [sentimental music playing] 1899 01:32:09,650 --> 01:32:11,443 [Jamie softly] Stop. Be quiet. 1900 01:32:31,296 --> 01:32:32,923 [cheering and applauding] 1901 01:32:33,465 --> 01:32:35,801 -[firework exploding] -[all screaming] 1902 01:32:35,884 --> 01:32:38,095 Shit! Sorry! Sorry! 1903 01:32:38,178 --> 01:32:39,846 There was one firework left 1904 01:32:39,930 --> 01:32:41,974 and I thought it would be fun, and beautiful, and poignant, 1905 01:32:42,057 --> 01:32:43,684 -but it was absolutely not! -[laughing] 1906 01:32:43,767 --> 01:32:45,102 -[Margy laughs] -Come here. 1907 01:32:46,228 --> 01:32:48,605 [intro to "Walk Like An Egyptian" playing] 1908 01:32:54,152 --> 01:32:55,904 [fast-forwarding] 1909 01:32:59,950 --> 01:33:02,411 {\an8}♪ All the old paintings On the tomb ♪ 1910 01:33:02,494 --> 01:33:04,663 {\an8}♪ They do the sand dance, Don't you know ♪ 1911 01:33:04,746 --> 01:33:06,123 {\an8}♪ If you move too fast ♪ 1912 01:33:06,206 --> 01:33:07,207 {\an8}[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪ 1913 01:33:07,291 --> 01:33:09,293 {\an8}♪ They're falling down Like a domino ♪ 1914 01:33:09,376 --> 01:33:11,628 {\an8}♪ All the bazaar men By the Nile ♪ 1915 01:33:11,712 --> 01:33:13,880 {\an8}♪ They got the money On a bet ♪ 1916 01:33:13,964 --> 01:33:15,257 {\an8}♪ Gold crocodiles ♪ 1917 01:33:15,340 --> 01:33:16,383 {\an8}[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪ 1918 01:33:16,466 --> 01:33:18,218 {\an8}♪ They snap their teeth On your cigarette ♪ 1919 01:33:18,302 --> 01:33:20,220 {\an8}♪ Foreign types With the hookah pipes say ♪ 1920 01:33:20,304 --> 01:33:23,056 {\an8}[all] ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1921 01:33:23,140 --> 01:33:26,977 {\an8}♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1922 01:33:27,394 --> 01:33:30,772 {\an8}♪ Walk like an Egyptian ♪ 1923 01:33:30,856 --> 01:33:32,774 {\an8}[all cheering] 1924 01:33:41,074 --> 01:33:43,577 ♪ The blonde waitresses Take their trays ♪ 1925 01:33:43,660 --> 01:33:45,662 ♪ They spin around And they cross the floor ♪ 1926 01:33:45,746 --> 01:33:46,913 {\an8}♪ They've got the moves ♪ 1927 01:33:46,997 --> 01:33:48,957 {\an8}[all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪ 1928 01:33:50,375 --> 01:33:52,753 {\an8}♪ All the school kids So sick of books ♪ 1929 01:33:52,836 --> 01:33:54,963 {\an8}♪ They like the punk And the metal band ♪ 1930 01:33:55,047 --> 01:33:57,299 ♪ I do not know what to do ♪ 1931 01:33:57,382 --> 01:33:59,384 ♪ I drank so much Oh, my God, I'm sick ♪ 1932 01:33:59,468 --> 01:34:01,595 {\an8}♪ All the kids In the marketplace say ♪ 1933 01:34:01,678 --> 01:34:04,222 {\an8}[all] ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1934 01:34:04,306 --> 01:34:07,768 ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1935 01:34:08,602 --> 01:34:11,104 {\an8}♪ Walk like an Egyptian ♪ 1936 01:34:11,188 --> 01:34:13,231 {\an8}[all cheering] 1937 01:34:13,315 --> 01:34:15,776 ♪ I'm down For the way he feels ♪ 1938 01:34:17,569 --> 01:34:19,654 {\an8}[instrumental break] 1939 01:34:24,409 --> 01:34:25,952 {\an8}Whoo! 1940 01:34:54,481 --> 01:34:56,733 {\an8}[whistling verse tune] 1941 01:35:02,531 --> 01:35:03,573 {\an8}Make sure the batteries work. 1942 01:35:06,618 --> 01:35:10,539 {\an8}I'm so sorry that I invited two con men to your wedding. 1943 01:35:11,123 --> 01:35:15,001 {\an8}And I don't know if I'm attracted to toxic people, 1944 01:35:15,085 --> 01:35:17,129 {\an8}or toxic people are attracted to me. 1945 01:35:18,046 --> 01:35:19,840 -[song ends] -[all cheering] 1946 01:35:28,306 --> 01:35:30,308 [instrumental music playing] 140734