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Back in the '80s, America had one clear enemy...
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the Russians.
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It was the age of the Cold War.
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Capitalism vs. Communism.
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Reagan vs. Gorbachev.
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Rocky vs. That roided-out monster
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who killed Apollo Creed.
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But the only war I knew
was the one with my brother.
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And like any superpowers,
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most of our fights were about border disputes.
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Dude! You're in my space.
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You're in my space!
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Stop it.
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Don't you... Stop fighting.
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Like any warring factions, we
didn't understand each other
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and had nothing in common.
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Barry roller-skated to
Wham! to impress the ladies
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while I roller-skated to "Starlight Express"
19
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to impress the theatergoers.
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I barely survived gym class...
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... While Barry thrived as an athlete.
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My dream was to be the next Steven Spielberg.
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Barry's dream was to be the next Charles Barkley.
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Swish, Baby!
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I collected garbage pail kids
26
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while Barry loved his baseball cards.
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Dude, check it out.
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I just got Hairy Mary and Oozy Suzy.
29
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Oh, really?
30
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I got Nerdy Adam and Punchy Barry.
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My most prized possession was my Castle Grayskull,
32
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and Barry's was this enormous shoe.
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Behold, my lady.
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The actual high-top of
basketball's greatest badass,
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sir Charles Barkley.
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Cool.
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- Let me see...
- No!
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Your hand contains damaging oils.
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You can admire it quietly.
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At a distance.
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How did you even get this thing?
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Dave Sirota hooked me up.
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His dad's a team doctor.
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All I got to do is his math homework
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for the rest of year.
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That is a horrible deal for him.
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Yeah, it is.
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Sorry to be this dude,
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but it's just a shoe... who cares?
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"Who cares?"
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This is Charles Barkley.
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The round mound of rebound.
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The greatest sixer of our time.
54
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Yeah, basketball's not my sport.
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Well, sports aren't your sport.
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Even my shoe thinks you're a nerd.
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Huh? What was that?
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"Punch your brother in theards"?
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Idiot.
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Your shoe sounds a lot like you.
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Hey! Knock it off.
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What did we discuss? Which Barry do I like?
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Sweet Barry.
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Whh Barry do I hate?
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Yelly, Punchy Barry.
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Mm-hmm.
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Yep, Barry and I forever lived
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in a tense and bitter Cold War.
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We were always on guard,
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never knowing when the other would strike.
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And this year, I decided to mount
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an epic attack on April Fools' Day.
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My target was the one thing
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he told me never to touch with my human oils.
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- Where's my Barkley shoe?
- Relax.
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I spilled some water on it,
so I threw it in the dryer.
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I told you not to touch that thing!
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Noooooooo!
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Gone.
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Gone forever.
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Fly away, little size 16.
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I'm a better person for having known you.
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Well, who knew that high heat for an hour
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would do that to rubber?
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Hmm.
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I... Feel... Anger!
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April fools'!
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Oh, balls!
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Dude, it was an April Fools' joke.
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Here's the real shoe, idiot.
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Oh, man.
92
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That... yeah.
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It's April already.
94
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You got me good.
95
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Wait.
96
00:03:07,598 --> 00:03:09,965
Y-you destroyed Castle Grayskull.
97
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You owe me 100 bucks.
98
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Yeah, not gonna happen.
99
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You should know I'm unstable
and would react poorly.
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This is on you.
101
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By the power of Grayskull,
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this will not stand.
103
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Thought I lost you, buddy.
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Synced & Corrected by Laulau
www.addic7ed.com
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It was April 1, 1980-something,
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and my sister was spending
time in her true home...
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the mall.
108
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,866
Okay, what do you want to hit next?
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Benetton or Sam Goody?
110
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Holy crap!
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Every teenage girl has a
defining moment in her life.
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For my sister, it was the chance
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to see her rock idol jam by the food court.
114
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Tiffany... is coming... to our mall?
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Sweet God, my life now has meaning.
116
00:04:04,385 --> 00:04:06,952
Yep, back before Taylor Swift and Katy Perry,
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teen pop superstars would visit your tiny town
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and play a free concert in your local mall.
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And the biggest star of them all
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was Tiffany.
121
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No last name needed.
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♪ I think we're alone now ♪
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Don't you see what this means?
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I can give Tiffany my demo
tape, and she can discover me.
125
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Oh. Just one problem.
126
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You don't have a demo tape,
127
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and your cheap-ass dad will never pay for one.
128
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Then there's only one play.
129
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What if I told you I could save you $20,000 today?
130
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For the first time in your life,
you'd have my full attention.
131
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Well, that's the price of a
college education these days.
132
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And for a mere $200,
133
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I can record a music demo tape
and hand it off to Tiffany,
134
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thereby skipping college
and achieving my life dream
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of becoming a teen singing sensation.
136
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Dreams? Who said "dreams"?
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Mama's here. I support you.
138
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Don't!
139
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She wants to sing instead of going to college.
140
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It's a nightmare.
141
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I'm not a total idiot.
142
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I've worked out a surefire plan
that will get me to the top.
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Listen to our snuggle monkey.
144
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She has a plan. It's surefire.
145
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What's the plan?
146
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I take my awesome demo tape to the mall
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and hand it to Tiffany.
148
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The minute she hears my soulful voice, boom!
149
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- It happens.
- What happens?
150
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I open for her in malls across the country.
151
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That's when I get a record deal
152
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and meat Simon Le Bon from Duran Duran
153
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at Calvin Klein's lakehouse.
154
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Here's a plan... college!
155
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Oh, you're such a grumpy pants.
156
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Just you wait. Her plan will work.
157
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Yes! I love you, mom.
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Aww.
159
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The [Bleep] Murray? Why didn't you stop me?
160
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Stop you? You were chewing my head off!
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My baby wants to sing? That's not a job.
162
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But you just told her it was!
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You got to go up there and tell her
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she's got to go to college.
165
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Why? You just told her she didn't!
166
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Because I'm the dream pusher,
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and you're the dream smusher.
168
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That's how this works.
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This is a thing? I'm the smusher?
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Yes. I push, you smush.
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That's the natural order of things.
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I didn't sign up for this! You smush for once.
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You know, it's exhausting
always having to be the bad guy.
174
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Well, it can't be me!
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I'm the loving, supportive one.
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You're the grumbling, grouchy one
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I always hide behind.
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Now go!
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Smush, smush, smush.
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Hello?
181
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Have you checked on the cards?
182
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What?
183
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,415
Have you checked on the cards?
184
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No.
185
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Nooo!
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00:06:26,685 --> 00:06:27,517
Yes.
187
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,953
You drew all over my cards!
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Tell me this is a joke.
189
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Say "April Fools'." Say it!
190
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No joke.
191
00:06:34,359 --> 00:06:37,160
One Castle Grayskull for your baseball cards.
192
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Your toy's 100 bucks!
193
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:40,297
This is a million dollars!
194
00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:41,898
They're $1 a packet.
195
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:44,734
Everyone knows they triple in value every day.
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This was my nest egg.
197
00:06:46,469 --> 00:06:48,869
Well, I guess you're gonna
have to work for your money now.
198
00:06:48,869 --> 00:06:49,901
Never.
199
00:06:49,937 --> 00:06:51,069
Mark my words...
200
00:06:51,105 --> 00:06:53,939
you've waged a war you cannot win.
201
00:06:53,974 --> 00:06:55,407
I'm coming for you, brother.
202
00:06:55,442 --> 00:06:57,476
And I'm coming hard.
203
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Bring your best, bro,
204
00:06:59,146 --> 00:07:02,581
'cause nothing scares Adam Goldberg.
205
00:07:02,616 --> 00:07:03,682
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
206
00:07:03,717 --> 00:07:05,183
He's gonna come at me.
207
00:07:05,183 --> 00:07:06,616
I told him to bring his best.
208
00:07:06,651 --> 00:07:07,851
Why would I suggest that?
209
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,520
Just apologize for what you did to Cal Ripken.
210
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,522
We're long past apologies now.
211
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,958
This is all-out war, and I'm gonna win.
212
00:07:14,993 --> 00:07:16,993
Kiddo, I fought in a real war.
213
00:07:17,028 --> 00:07:19,529
Trust me... there is no winner.
214
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,864
Pops was right.
215
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,332
While I protected my toys,
216
00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:24,334
I forgot about one crucial item...
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00:07:24,369 --> 00:07:25,702
my video camera.
218
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,171
No! What have you done?!
219
00:07:28,206 --> 00:07:30,773
Okay, Barry, you've gone too far.
220
00:07:30,773 --> 00:07:33,039
You mess with my stuff, I mess with yours.
221
00:07:33,039 --> 00:07:34,638
This wasn't just stuff.
222
00:07:34,674 --> 00:07:36,607
This camera meant everything.
223
00:07:36,642 --> 00:07:38,342
It's like my best friend.
224
00:07:38,377 --> 00:07:39,510
Oh, relax.
225
00:07:39,545 --> 00:07:41,445
All I did was take it apart.
226
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:42,580
Here's the manual.
227
00:07:42,615 --> 00:07:44,748
Just... just put it back together.
228
00:07:46,752 --> 00:07:48,986
This is in Chinese!
229
00:07:49,021 --> 00:07:52,089
Remember... you smush, I push.
230
00:07:52,089 --> 00:07:53,055
Fair warning...
231
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,289
she's gonna get extremely upset,
232
00:07:54,325 --> 00:07:56,158
and she will throw something at you.
233
00:07:56,193 --> 00:07:58,760
I apologize in advance 'cause
I'm gonna let it happen.
234
00:07:58,796 --> 00:08:02,163
Peanut, we need to talk.
235
00:08:02,163 --> 00:08:04,063
What do you want?
236
00:08:04,098 --> 00:08:06,632
I just want you to know...
237
00:08:08,369 --> 00:08:10,836
That I support your singing 100%.
238
00:08:10,871 --> 00:08:12,004
- What?
- Really?
239
00:08:12,039 --> 00:08:13,105
- Really.
- What?
240
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:14,573
Forget about college.
241
00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:15,774
Gamble your life
242
00:08:15,810 --> 00:08:18,510
in the dangerous and shady world of rock 'n' roll.
243
00:08:18,546 --> 00:08:20,212
- For real?
- So real.
244
00:08:20,248 --> 00:08:21,580
Unless you mom's got something to add.
245
00:08:21,616 --> 00:08:23,716
Uh, not at this moment.
246
00:08:23,751 --> 00:08:27,620
Um, I'm just letting the news wash over me
247
00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:29,088
'cause it's so positive.
248
00:08:29,123 --> 00:08:30,656
Dad, I give you my word...
249
00:08:30,691 --> 00:08:32,624
when Riki Gold sweeps the Grammys,
250
00:08:32,624 --> 00:08:34,524
you're will be the first person I thank.
251
00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:35,458
Riki Gold?
252
00:08:35,494 --> 00:08:36,860
Yeah, it's my stage name.
253
00:08:37,395 --> 00:08:39,695
'Cause Goldberg is... You know.
254
00:08:39,731 --> 00:08:42,665
You can be whoever you damn well please
255
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:46,402
because Daddy believes in you and your plan.
256
00:08:46,437 --> 00:08:47,737
Ooh, thanks, Dad!
257
00:08:47,772 --> 00:08:49,105
With that, my dad became the pusher...
258
00:08:49,340 --> 00:08:50,306
- I'm so excited!
- ... Forcing my mom
259
00:08:50,341 --> 00:08:51,741
- to become the smusher.
- Thank you.
260
00:08:51,776 --> 00:08:54,043
- It's a bad plan.
- What?
261
00:08:54,078 --> 00:08:55,311
You know I love you,
262
00:08:55,346 --> 00:08:58,080
but you are gonna go to college and get a good job
263
00:08:58,116 --> 00:09:00,316
so I don't have to stay up late at night worrying.
264
00:09:00,351 --> 00:09:02,685
So, basically, you're a sham.
265
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,520
Every time that you said you believed in me,
266
00:09:04,556 --> 00:09:05,721
it was a lie?
267
00:09:05,757 --> 00:09:08,991
Of course not. It's still me.
268
00:09:09,027 --> 00:09:10,927
It's your mama, snuggle monkey.
269
00:09:10,962 --> 00:09:12,028
Lies!
270
00:09:12,063 --> 00:09:13,796
I am not your snuggle monkey.
271
00:09:13,831 --> 00:09:15,431
You don't mean that.
272
00:09:15,466 --> 00:09:17,266
Oh, I mean it.
273
00:09:17,302 --> 00:09:20,102
And you can never call me Snuggly or Squishy
274
00:09:20,138 --> 00:09:22,905
or Boopie or Schmoopie ever again.
275
00:09:22,941 --> 00:09:25,141
Do not take Schmoopie away from me.
276
00:09:25,176 --> 00:09:26,676
Don't you dare!
277
00:09:26,711 --> 00:09:30,913
It's just I... I don't want you to fail.
278
00:09:30,949 --> 00:09:33,316
Well, that makes me want to succeed even more.
279
00:09:33,351 --> 00:09:35,985
I will sing for quarters on the subway.
280
00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:39,855
I will sleep on lumpy couches
owned by creepy disc jockeys.
281
00:09:39,891 --> 00:09:41,624
Sure, when times get tough,
282
00:09:41,659 --> 00:09:44,260
I may have to go cry in a bank vestibule.
283
00:09:44,329 --> 00:09:45,661
But then, in the end,
284
00:09:45,697 --> 00:09:48,431
I will be bigger than Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.
285
00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:50,866
But not Madonna because... I'm realistic.
286
00:09:56,485 --> 00:09:59,918
Since neither of my parents
wanted to be the smusher,
287
00:09:59,918 --> 00:10:01,451
they turned to Erica's teacher for help.
288
00:10:01,486 --> 00:10:04,053
Thank you so much for
meeting with us on a Saturday.
289
00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:06,322
Honestly, we really do appreciate it.
290
00:10:06,322 --> 00:10:07,555
Anything for Erica.
291
00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:09,690
In all of my years of teaching,
292
00:10:09,726 --> 00:10:13,027
I have never had a student
so passionate and talented.
293
00:10:13,027 --> 00:10:15,828
Oh, that is so nice to hear.
294
00:10:15,863 --> 00:10:17,730
And I'm gonna need you to shut your mouth
295
00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:18,898
and never say that again.
296
00:10:18,933 --> 00:10:20,633
What? I...
297
00:10:20,668 --> 00:10:22,101
Let me chime in here.
298
00:10:22,136 --> 00:10:24,737
Actively destroy her dreams.
299
00:10:24,737 --> 00:10:26,103
Thank you so much.
300
00:10:26,138 --> 00:10:28,238
Yeah, I'm not gonna agree to that.
301
00:10:28,274 --> 00:10:29,073
I'm her teacher.
302
00:10:29,108 --> 00:10:31,441
It is my job to inspire her, not to hold her back.
303
00:10:31,441 --> 00:10:33,107
Let me pipe in here, Mur.
304
00:10:33,142 --> 00:10:34,275
We would appreciate it
305
00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:36,944
if you would shame her into quitting
306
00:10:36,944 --> 00:10:41,113
using, say, scare tactics
or negative reinforcement.
307
00:10:41,149 --> 00:10:42,882
I don't want to tell you how to do your job.
308
00:10:42,882 --> 00:10:43,881
You get it.
309
00:10:43,916 --> 00:10:44,882
I really don't get it.
310
00:10:44,917 --> 00:10:46,550
Let me sound off here, Bev.
311
00:10:46,586 --> 00:10:48,385
What my wife is trying to say...
312
00:10:48,421 --> 00:10:50,688
and I think we can all agree on this...
313
00:10:50,723 --> 00:10:53,557
a career in music... it's absurd.
314
00:10:53,557 --> 00:10:56,158
I... Don't agree.
315
00:10:56,193 --> 00:10:57,626
Let me finish this off, Mur.
316
00:10:57,661 --> 00:11:00,529
See, millions of girls want to be stars,
317
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:03,230
but they end up becoming waitresses or dog walkers
318
00:11:03,265 --> 00:11:04,298
or music teachers.
319
00:11:04,333 --> 00:11:06,600
And that is no life anyone would wish
320
00:11:06,635 --> 00:11:07,734
for their little girl.
321
00:11:07,770 --> 00:11:08,835
No offense.
322
00:11:08,871 --> 00:11:11,638
Literally couldn't be more offended.
323
00:11:11,674 --> 00:11:12,873
Let me take the wheel here, Bev.
324
00:11:12,908 --> 00:11:14,041
Uh, you know what? Don't take wheel.
325
00:11:14,076 --> 00:11:15,042
Okay?
326
00:11:15,077 --> 00:11:17,477
Beverly, I cannot believe this.
327
00:11:17,513 --> 00:11:19,913
I... even though you give me hives
328
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:23,782
and I am stalked in my dreams by a blond monster,
329
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:24,950
I have always respected
330
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:27,052
the way that you support your kids no matter what.
331
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:29,321
Look. It's just...
332
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,857
what she wants to do, it's such a long shot.
333
00:11:32,857 --> 00:11:34,390
It is if you're not there for her.
334
00:11:34,425 --> 00:11:36,859
Do you think that Tiffany or Debbie Gibson
335
00:11:36,894 --> 00:11:38,427
would have made it without their mothers?
336
00:11:38,462 --> 00:11:39,662
No.
337
00:11:39,697 --> 00:11:41,030
They not only support their daughters,
338
00:11:41,065 --> 00:11:42,731
they manage their whole careers.
339
00:11:42,731 --> 00:11:44,197
What's that, now?
340
00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:45,332
My mom realized
341
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:47,567
that she could hijack Erica's career
342
00:11:47,603 --> 00:11:49,703
and be both a mom and a manager.
343
00:11:49,738 --> 00:11:51,104
Momager.
344
00:11:51,140 --> 00:11:53,606
While my mom was plotting Erica's rise to stardom,
345
00:11:53,606 --> 00:11:55,839
I was planning Barry's fall from grace.
346
00:11:55,875 --> 00:11:57,441
I'd win the Cold War
347
00:11:57,476 --> 00:11:59,376
by taking away the one thing he loved most...
348
00:11:59,412 --> 00:12:01,011
his hot lady friend.
349
00:12:01,046 --> 00:12:03,180
Hi, um, Lainey.
350
00:12:03,215 --> 00:12:05,883
Look, I know I showed my bra
to Dave Kim for five bucks,
351
00:12:05,918 --> 00:12:07,017
but it's not, like, a thing.
352
00:12:07,052 --> 00:12:10,220
No. I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news.
353
00:12:10,256 --> 00:12:13,824
Barry asked me to come here
and terminate your relationship.
354
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:16,460
Yeah, that's just not realistic, Dude.
355
00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:17,593
Damn it.
356
00:12:17,628 --> 00:12:19,060
What's going on with you two?
357
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:20,459
He broke my video camera.
358
00:12:20,494 --> 00:12:22,094
Why would he do that?
359
00:12:22,129 --> 00:12:23,796
I told him I liked Sweet Barry.
360
00:12:23,831 --> 00:12:26,265
Turns out, there is no Sweet Barry...
361
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:29,268
only Yelly, Punchy Barry.
362
00:12:30,171 --> 00:12:31,871
I don't want to say that you could do better,
363
00:12:31,906 --> 00:12:33,505
but we're all thinking it.
364
00:12:33,541 --> 00:12:34,907
Hmm.
365
00:12:34,942 --> 00:12:36,375
You are so dead!
366
00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:38,475
Am I? 'Cause I've never felt more alive.
367
00:12:38,511 --> 00:12:40,978
Lainey said she had to think about our future.
368
00:12:40,978 --> 00:12:42,211
I can't have her thinking.
369
00:12:42,246 --> 00:12:43,779
What if she sees me for what I am?
370
00:12:43,814 --> 00:12:45,347
Well, maybe you should have thought of that
371
00:12:45,382 --> 00:12:46,481
before you were who you are.
372
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:49,051
I... Feel... Anger!
373
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:54,423
What the hell?!
374
00:12:54,458 --> 00:12:56,925
Where's all your nerd stuff for me to stomp on?
375
00:12:56,961 --> 00:12:58,360
Put it all in storage.
376
00:12:58,395 --> 00:13:01,230
Now I live in a room without joy and happiness.
377
00:13:01,265 --> 00:13:04,099
In... Your... Face.
378
00:13:04,099 --> 00:13:06,566
I can't believe it.
379
00:13:06,602 --> 00:13:09,202
You actually beat me.
380
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,607
April fools.
381
00:13:14,607 --> 00:13:16,940
As my brother was preparing to take me down,
382
00:13:16,976 --> 00:13:19,076
Tiffany was preparing to take the stage
383
00:13:19,111 --> 00:13:21,211
in front of a thousand screaming teenage girls.
384
00:13:21,247 --> 00:13:22,312
Sorry, guys.
385
00:13:22,348 --> 00:13:24,347
Just got to squeeze right through you.
386
00:13:24,347 --> 00:13:25,579
Yeah, thanks.
387
00:13:25,615 --> 00:13:28,449
Oh, excuse me. Hi. I'm Er... I'm, uh, Riki Gold.
388
00:13:28,484 --> 00:13:30,217
And, uh, I just wanted to know
389
00:13:30,253 --> 00:13:32,219
if you could give this demo tape to Tiffany
390
00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:33,754
and let her know that I recorded it
391
00:13:33,789 --> 00:13:35,489
on my broken boom box in my bathroom,
392
00:13:35,525 --> 00:13:37,057
which isn't totally soundproof.
393
00:13:37,093 --> 00:13:39,527
You can kind of hear my dad
yelling in the background.
394
00:13:39,562 --> 00:13:42,563
But in the end, uh, my
voice totally shines through.
395
00:13:42,598 --> 00:13:43,731
Sure thing, kid.
396
00:13:43,766 --> 00:13:45,366
Oh, my God. It actually worked.
397
00:13:45,401 --> 00:13:47,201
It did not work.
398
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,835
Every other girl in town had a demo tape, too.
399
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,404
Wow. That's a lot of tapes.
400
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,673
But Riki Gold had a plan "B"...
401
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:56,141
sneak up to the tour bus and get discovered
402
00:13:56,177 --> 00:13:57,976
by singing directly to Tiffany herself.
403
00:13:58,012 --> 00:13:59,845
It was foolproof!
404
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,413
What the hell?!
405
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:03,782
Unfortunately, every other fool in town...
406
00:14:03,782 --> 00:14:06,149
- Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me.
- ... Had the exact same plan.
407
00:14:06,185 --> 00:14:08,351
Lainey, what are you doing here?
408
00:14:08,387 --> 00:14:10,020
Duh. I want to be famous.
409
00:14:10,055 --> 00:14:12,622
Uh, no, wanting to be famous is my thing.
410
00:14:12,658 --> 00:14:13,590
Hi, girls.
411
00:14:13,625 --> 00:14:14,725
Scooch over. Scooch.
412
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,460
Oh, my God. Why are you here?
413
00:14:16,495 --> 00:14:18,061
You parents maybe made me question
414
00:14:18,097 --> 00:14:19,696
some of my life choices.
415
00:14:19,732 --> 00:14:22,466
- Sort of my last gasp here.
- Really need this win.
416
00:14:22,501 --> 00:14:24,501
No, this is my plan.
417
00:14:25,838 --> 00:14:28,939
♪ Children, behave ♪
418
00:14:28,974 --> 00:14:32,008
♪ Running just as fast as we can ♪
419
00:14:32,044 --> 00:14:35,545
♪ Holding on to one another's hands ♪
420
00:14:35,581 --> 00:14:37,047
♪ trying to get away ♪
421
00:14:37,082 --> 00:14:38,515
- ♪ Into the night ♪
- Night!
422
00:14:38,515 --> 00:14:39,881
Tiffany! Tiffany!
423
00:14:39,916 --> 00:14:41,316
Erica's dreams of stardom
424
00:14:41,351 --> 00:14:44,019
were literally driving away before her very eyes.
425
00:14:44,054 --> 00:14:46,221
Meanwhile, Barry's dream of obliterating me
426
00:14:46,256 --> 00:14:47,856
was about to become reality.
427
00:14:47,891 --> 00:14:50,492
For years, he held onto a secret weapon...
428
00:14:50,527 --> 00:14:51,926
something so powerful
429
00:14:51,962 --> 00:14:54,262
that it could only be
unleashed in a time of true war.
430
00:14:54,297 --> 00:14:57,132
And that time was now.
431
00:14:57,167 --> 00:14:58,800
Oh, no.
432
00:14:58,835 --> 00:15:01,769
Oh, yes.
433
00:15:01,769 --> 00:15:04,536
Oh, no.
434
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,338
I had taken Barry's girlfriend,
435
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,273
and he would take my dignity by unleashing
436
00:15:08,273 --> 00:15:10,574
the most embarrassing sears glamour portrait
437
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:13,477
the world had ever seen, knee-high socks and all.
438
00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:15,045
Oh, no! Aah!
439
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,247
Barry.
440
00:15:17,282 --> 00:15:19,716
Hey, Buddy. What brings you by?
441
00:15:19,751 --> 00:15:21,885
How?! I destroyed this photo!
442
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:25,121
You mean... This one?
443
00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:28,225
The one where Mom dragged
you to a studio photographer
444
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,960
dressed like a sad, little dandy?
445
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:33,463
And I will post it all over the school.
446
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:34,598
No! You can't!
447
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:37,000
That will completely destroy me!
448
00:15:37,035 --> 00:15:39,169
Oh, my God. Pops was right!
449
00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:40,370
No one wins a war.
450
00:15:40,405 --> 00:15:42,672
Actually, somebody does win...
451
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,641
whoever's got the bigger nuke.
452
00:15:44,676 --> 00:15:47,077
And I've got the Adam bomb.
453
00:15:49,439 --> 00:15:51,305
My mom had officially dedicated her life
454
00:15:51,305 --> 00:15:53,071
to managing my sister's music career.
455
00:15:53,071 --> 00:15:55,705
Only problem... Erica had no idea.
456
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:56,804
What the...
457
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:59,307
why is my awful 10th-grade yearbook photo
458
00:15:59,342 --> 00:16:02,043
on t-shirts, buttons, and bumper stickers?
459
00:16:02,078 --> 00:16:05,046
Because your Momager got you your first gig.
460
00:16:05,081 --> 00:16:07,749
You're playing The Del Ennis Bowling Lanes
461
00:16:07,784 --> 00:16:09,550
at 10:00 A.M. on Tuesday!
462
00:16:09,586 --> 00:16:11,119
Who's gonna be at The Del Ennis Lanes
463
00:16:11,154 --> 00:16:12,620
at 10:00 A.M. on a Tuesday?
464
00:16:12,656 --> 00:16:15,256
Well, Del will be there and Bonnie, his wife.
465
00:16:15,256 --> 00:16:16,255
She rents the shoes.
466
00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:17,790
And, uh, I'll be there
467
00:16:17,790 --> 00:16:19,890
selling these puffy paint t-shirts.
468
00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:21,289
Hmm?
469
00:16:21,324 --> 00:16:22,824
If Del allows it.
470
00:16:22,859 --> 00:16:24,459
He's trying to take a cut of the merch.
471
00:16:24,494 --> 00:16:25,527
I'm into it with him.
472
00:16:25,562 --> 00:16:26,928
You don't need to know the details.
473
00:16:26,963 --> 00:16:28,763
- Mom, maybe I should...
- No.
474
00:16:28,799 --> 00:16:30,365
You were right about me.
475
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,001
I've supported you your whole life.
476
00:16:33,036 --> 00:16:35,370
But when it really mattered,
when you really needed me,
477
00:16:35,405 --> 00:16:37,038
I panicked.
478
00:16:37,073 --> 00:16:39,174
Well, from now on, we're in this together...
479
00:16:39,209 --> 00:16:43,545
all day, every day, on the tour bus, in hotels,
480
00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:46,347
you and your biggest fan, your mama.
481
00:16:46,347 --> 00:16:49,247
That's why I'm gonna momage
you straight to the top.
482
00:16:49,247 --> 00:16:52,381
I'm gonna make sure no one
ever smushes your dreams again.
483
00:16:52,416 --> 00:16:54,249
You have to smush my dreams.
484
00:16:54,249 --> 00:16:55,648
No, no, no. I'm out of that game.
485
00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:57,083
From now on, I'm a pusher.
486
00:16:57,083 --> 00:17:00,117
No, Mom's the pusher. We can't have two pushers.
487
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:02,119
Then I'll actually have to
follow through on things.
488
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:04,055
Wait... I-I thought this is what you wanted.
489
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:05,223
Don't give it up
490
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:07,024
just 'cause your mom bought
a bunch of puffy paint.
491
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,193
It's not just Mom.
492
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,761
I went to that mall, and I realized
493
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,331
there's a million girls out there just like me.
494
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,367
And the truth is, you were right.
495
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:19,170
I just don't have a shot.
496
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,572
As Erica was giving up on her dreams,
497
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:24,842
Barry was about to obliterate my reality.
498
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:32,883
Hey.
499
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:34,218
What's going on?
500
00:17:34,218 --> 00:17:35,384
Dude, it's crazy.
501
00:17:35,419 --> 00:17:37,085
The Berlin wall just fell.
502
00:17:40,391 --> 00:17:41,957
It was one of those moments
503
00:17:41,957 --> 00:17:43,557
you remember for the rest of your life...
504
00:17:43,592 --> 00:17:45,259
a country divided, coming together
505
00:17:45,294 --> 00:17:47,127
for a shining moment of peace.
506
00:17:47,162 --> 00:17:49,129
And as Barry watched it all unfold,
507
00:17:49,164 --> 00:17:52,900
he realized it was time to end the war at home.
508
00:17:54,003 --> 00:17:55,369
My camera!
509
00:17:55,404 --> 00:17:56,937
How did you get the money to fix it?
510
00:17:56,937 --> 00:17:58,737
I sold my Barkley shoe back to Dave Sirota.
511
00:17:58,772 --> 00:18:00,438
But what about the photo?
512
00:18:00,474 --> 00:18:02,207
You were about to drop the Adam bomb.
513
00:18:02,242 --> 00:18:04,409
I saw something today that changed me.
514
00:18:04,444 --> 00:18:07,145
David Hasselhoff was on top
of the Great Wall of China
515
00:18:07,145 --> 00:18:09,212
in a light-up jacket singing about freedom.
516
00:18:09,247 --> 00:18:11,280
And it occurred to me, if "Knight Rider"
517
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,915
can make east and west Russia find common ground,
518
00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:16,183
maybe we can, too.
519
00:18:16,218 --> 00:18:18,385
While your facts are wildly off,
520
00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:20,253
your spirit is right on the money.
521
00:18:20,289 --> 00:18:21,555
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
522
00:18:21,590 --> 00:18:23,757
Sure, I'm athletic and enjoy awesome stuff
523
00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:25,225
while everything you know and love
524
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:26,693
is for losers who suck at life,
525
00:18:26,729 --> 00:18:30,130
but even though we're from two different worlds,
526
00:18:30,165 --> 00:18:31,765
I believe we can live in harmony.
527
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,702
Wait. You gave me back what I love.
528
00:18:36,872 --> 00:18:38,805
Time to return the favor.
529
00:18:38,841 --> 00:18:40,240
♪ I'm a bad boy ♪
530
00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:41,942
♪ But a good guy ♪
531
00:18:41,977 --> 00:18:43,676
♪ On the outside, I'm tough ♪
532
00:18:43,676 --> 00:18:45,409
♪ On the inside, I cry ♪
533
00:18:45,444 --> 00:18:47,244
♪ I'm always on the streets ♪
534
00:18:47,279 --> 00:18:48,746
♪ Rhymin' and schemin' ♪
535
00:18:48,781 --> 00:18:51,815
♪ But when I think of your
face, I get sensitive feelings ♪
536
00:18:51,851 --> 00:18:53,283
♪ I mouth off to the cops ♪
537
00:18:53,319 --> 00:18:54,952
♪ And get myself in trouble ♪
538
00:18:54,987 --> 00:18:57,788
♪ But when you bail me out,
we watch "splash" and cuddle ♪
539
00:18:57,823 --> 00:18:59,723
♪ See, I'm a bad boy ♪
540
00:18:59,759 --> 00:19:00,991
♪ But a sweet guy ♪
541
00:19:01,027 --> 00:19:02,693
♪ I get in trouble ♪
542
00:19:02,728 --> 00:19:04,395
♪ And I don't know why ♪
543
00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:05,929
♪ So take big tasty back ♪
544
00:19:05,965 --> 00:19:07,231
♪ You know you can't resist ♪
545
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:11,635
♪ So on a humbler note, I really need this ♪
546
00:19:12,772 --> 00:19:16,807
That was... Uncomfortable.
547
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,040
Point is, he got my camera fixed.
548
00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:20,242
That's sweet.
549
00:19:20,277 --> 00:19:21,777
He really is a good brother.
550
00:19:22,846 --> 00:19:24,780
You're not so bad yourself.
551
00:19:29,486 --> 00:19:31,853
Here. For your demo.
552
00:19:31,853 --> 00:19:34,287
But we agreed you were gonna talk to Mom.
553
00:19:34,322 --> 00:19:35,388
And I will.
554
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,624
But I just need you to know
555
00:19:37,693 --> 00:19:41,160
that there's nobody else
out there like you... nobody.
556
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:44,328
Look. I got my dream.
557
00:19:44,363 --> 00:19:46,530
I got this house, I got the family, I got you.
558
00:19:46,565 --> 00:19:48,698
And if this is what you really want,
559
00:19:48,698 --> 00:19:51,298
I say go for it.
560
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:54,234
To a parent, that's scary as hell.
561
00:19:54,270 --> 00:19:56,303
But I can't have you live your life
562
00:19:56,339 --> 00:19:58,872
thinking I held you back.
563
00:20:02,311 --> 00:20:04,278
- ♪ Children, behave ♪
- Dad.
564
00:20:04,313 --> 00:20:05,846
Yeah?
565
00:20:05,881 --> 00:20:09,450
What you said... that was really, um...
566
00:20:09,485 --> 00:20:11,719
♪ And watch how you play ♪
567
00:20:11,754 --> 00:20:13,287
Thank you.
568
00:20:13,322 --> 00:20:14,288
♪ They don't understand ♪
569
00:20:14,357 --> 00:20:16,323
Anything for you, Peanut.
570
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,092
That's the thing about family...
571
00:20:18,127 --> 00:20:21,027
you fight, you argue, you wage all-out war,
572
00:20:21,027 --> 00:20:24,028
but at the end of the day,
you're always on the same side.
573
00:20:24,063 --> 00:20:25,229
♪ Tryin' to get away ♪
574
00:20:25,264 --> 00:20:26,164
- ♪ Into the night ♪
- 'Cause in a world
575
00:20:26,199 --> 00:20:27,832
where everyone tries to smush you down,
576
00:20:28,468 --> 00:20:30,534
the one thing you got is your family
577
00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:31,702
to push you forward.
578
00:20:31,738 --> 00:20:34,605
♪ I think we're alone now ♪
579
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,242
♪ There doesn't seem to be anyone around ♪
580
00:20:38,277 --> 00:20:40,277
That's my superstar client.
581
00:20:40,313 --> 00:20:42,246
You're not gonna be the momager.
582
00:20:42,281 --> 00:20:43,581
We'll see.
583
00:20:43,616 --> 00:20:45,616
♪ ... Is the only sound ♪
584
00:20:49,288 --> 00:20:51,622
Glad that's gone forever.
585
00:20:59,897 --> 00:21:02,029
Riki Gold, big tasty,
586
00:21:02,029 --> 00:21:04,363
thank you for meeting me on such short notice.
587
00:21:04,398 --> 00:21:06,365
Meeting? We're eating breakfast.
588
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,799
Let me cut to the chase.
589
00:21:07,835 --> 00:21:10,702
What I'm looking at are two musical giants
590
00:21:10,738 --> 00:21:12,103
on the precipice of greatness,
591
00:21:12,128 --> 00:21:14,128
- and as your momager,
- No
592
00:21:14,153 --> 00:21:17,453
I present The Tasty Gold Experience!
593
00:21:17,453 --> 00:21:19,853
Even better I won't even take 10%,
594
00:21:19,854 --> 00:21:21,977
you can pay me on huggies and smuchies.
595
00:21:21,977 --> 00:21:23,977
Noo!
596
00:21:24,002 --> 00:21:27,002
Synced & Corrected by Laulau
www.addic7ed.com
41933
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