All language subtitles for Boat.Trip.2002.1080p.WEBRip.DD2.0.x264-NTb

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish Download
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:32,993 I love you. 2 00:00:32,993 --> 00:00:36,997 I want to spend the restof my life with you. 3 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,120 Will you marry me? 4 00:00:42,002 --> 00:00:44,004 Baby, 5 00:00:45,005 --> 00:00:47,007 baby-- 6 00:00:47,007 --> 00:00:49,009 Baby, your breathsmells like dog food. 7 00:00:49,009 --> 00:00:53,013 [ Panting ]With just a hintof rottweiler butt. 8 00:00:53,694 --> 00:00:56,016 You're on notice, Rocco. 9 00:00:56,016 --> 00:00:59,019 When Felicia moves in,you have to clean up your act. 10 00:00:59,019 --> 00:01:01,021 Bon appétit. * Whoa * 11 00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:04,024 * I feel good * 12 00:01:04,024 --> 00:01:08,028 * I knew that I would, now * 13 00:01:08,028 --> 00:01:11,031 * I feel good * 14 00:01:11,031 --> 00:01:14,034 * I knew that I would, now * 15 00:01:14,034 --> 00:01:18,038 * So good, so good * 16 00:01:18,038 --> 00:01:20,040 * I got you * 17 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:24,044 * Whoa, I feel nice * 18 00:01:24,044 --> 00:01:27,047 * Like sugar and spice * 19 00:01:27,047 --> 00:01:31,051 * I feel nice * 20 00:01:31,051 --> 00:01:35,055 * Like sugar and spice * 21 00:01:35,055 --> 00:01:38,058 * So nice, so nice * 22 00:01:38,058 --> 00:01:40,060 * I got you * 23 00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:51,071 * When I hold you in my arms ** 24 00:01:51,071 --> 00:01:54,074 I have a very big surprisefor you. 25 00:01:54,074 --> 00:01:56,597 A very big surprise. 26 00:01:57,077 --> 00:02:02,082 I know you're dying to know,but I'm not gonna tell you,no matter how much you beg. 27 00:02:02,082 --> 00:02:04,084 Nope.Not even a hint. 28 00:02:15,095 --> 00:02:18,098 Wow! This isincredible, Jerry! 29 00:02:18,098 --> 00:02:20,100 What's this all about? 30 00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:25,105 Felicia, from the firstmoment I met you, I-- 31 00:02:25,105 --> 00:02:28,108 [ Groans ]I mean, uh-- 32 00:02:28,108 --> 00:02:31,111 From the first momentI saw you, I, uh-- 33 00:02:32,112 --> 00:02:34,114 Uh, wh-what I'm tryingto say, Felicia, is-- 34 00:02:34,114 --> 00:02:37,117 You're lookin' sickall of a sudden.Are you all right? 35 00:02:37,117 --> 00:02:40,120 Motion sickness.Oh. 36 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,123 The reason whyI brought you out here is... 37 00:02:43,123 --> 00:02:45,125 to tell you, to say-- 38 00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:47,127 Yeah? 39 00:02:47,127 --> 00:02:50,130 To ask, communicate-- 40 00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:53,133 Would you justspit it out? 41 00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:57,137 [ Gasping ]Oh, I'm sorry, baby!I didn't mean it! 42 00:02:57,418 --> 00:03:00,140 Don't cover me in pukeand try and call me "baby." 43 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:03,143 I'll make it upto you, Felicia! 44 00:03:03,143 --> 00:03:06,146 Will you marry me?No! 45 00:03:06,146 --> 00:03:09,149 Oh, thank you!You've made methe happiest-- What? 46 00:03:09,149 --> 00:03:12,152 I met someone.Met someone? 47 00:03:12,152 --> 00:03:15,155 Andre and Ihave all the thingsthat we don't, Jerry. 48 00:03:15,155 --> 00:03:17,157 Andre?I introduced you once. 49 00:03:17,157 --> 00:03:19,159 He details my BMW. 50 00:03:19,159 --> 00:03:24,164 You dump me for a guywho goes to work in a jumpsuitand rubber boots? 51 00:03:24,164 --> 00:03:29,169 Andre and I connecton a level that you and Ijust never could. 52 00:03:29,169 --> 00:03:32,172 Jerry, I'm so sorry. 53 00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:47,187 [ Sighs ]She dumped us, Rocco. 54 00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:51,191 I know you don't care.You can lick your own balls.[ Chuckles ] 55 00:03:53,193 --> 00:03:55,195 [ Sighs ] 56 00:04:07,207 --> 00:04:09,209 [ Beeping ] 57 00:04:26,226 --> 00:04:27,227 [ Ringing ] 58 00:04:27,227 --> 00:04:30,230 [ Answering Machine Clicking ] [ Jerry On Tape ] I'm not in. 59 00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:33,233 Leave a message or don't leave a message. Whatever. 60 00:04:33,354 --> 00:04:36,236 [ Man ] Hello, Jerry. It's me. Pick up. 61 00:04:36,236 --> 00:04:38,238 Dude, I know you're there. 62 00:04:38,238 --> 00:04:41,241 Quit acting like a little kid. You're so immature! 63 00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:43,243 Pick up now,or I'm gonna fartinto the phone. 64 00:04:46,246 --> 00:04:48,248 Leave me alone.I'm wallowingin self-pity. 65 00:04:48,248 --> 00:04:51,251 It's time to rejointhe living, Jerry.We're going out tonight. 66 00:04:51,251 --> 00:04:54,254 - Not interested.- Saddle up the old baloney pony. 67 00:04:54,254 --> 00:04:58,258 It's OperationStorm the Foxholes.China Club, 2100 hours. 68 00:04:58,258 --> 00:05:01,261 Our objective?Penetrate the enemy. 69 00:05:01,261 --> 00:05:04,264 Stop calling me.I'm not going.This is nonnegotiable. 70 00:05:04,264 --> 00:05:07,267 Either meet me tonight,or I'm gonna ask outyour sister. 71 00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:10,270 She'll go out with me'cause she's freaky like that.We both know her. 72 00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:13,273 Ragoni, hang up.The toilet's stuffed up.I got a code-three emergency. 73 00:05:13,273 --> 00:05:15,275 Buddy, I gotta go.See you. 74 00:05:24,284 --> 00:05:26,286 Thanks for fitting me intoday, Daniel. 75 00:05:27,247 --> 00:05:29,289 I'm so tight. 76 00:05:39,299 --> 00:05:42,302 Go really deep this time. 77 00:05:54,314 --> 00:05:56,316 Give it to me harder. 78 00:05:59,319 --> 00:06:01,321 Harder. 79 00:06:03,323 --> 00:06:06,326 Harder. 80 00:06:12,332 --> 00:06:14,334 Harder. 81 00:06:17,337 --> 00:06:20,340 - [ Muscles Cracking ] - Come on, Daniel. Is this the best you can do? 82 00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:23,343 [ Sighs, Panting ] 83 00:06:26,346 --> 00:06:29,349 Ragoni, what the hellare you doing?[ Screams ] 84 00:06:29,349 --> 00:06:32,352 I was justwarmin' her up for you! 85 00:06:33,353 --> 00:06:36,356 ** [ Dance ] 86 00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:38,358 ** [ Continues ] 87 00:06:38,358 --> 00:06:42,362 Marshall,is that you?Nick! Hey! 88 00:06:42,362 --> 00:06:45,365 Long time no see!How you doin'? 89 00:06:45,365 --> 00:06:48,368 You've got to give methe name of your newescort service. 90 00:06:48,368 --> 00:06:51,371 Oh, cut it out, Nick.This is my fiancée, Sheri. 91 00:06:51,692 --> 00:06:55,375 She ain't no escort skank. She and I are in love. 92 00:06:55,375 --> 00:06:57,377 That's right. 93 00:06:57,377 --> 00:07:00,380 Marshall here's the most interesting and exciting man I've ever met. 94 00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:05,225 - And he's a wonderful lover.- Oh, I get it. She's retarded. 95 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:09,389 She's one of the sharpestbartenders at Hooters.Oh, Marshy! 96 00:07:09,389 --> 00:07:13,393 Excuse me, fellas.I'm gonna go trimthe landing strip. 97 00:07:13,393 --> 00:07:16,396 Ooh! And classy too. 98 00:07:17,397 --> 00:07:21,401 We met on a cruise.There's just something aboutthe ocean air, the sun. 99 00:07:21,401 --> 00:07:25,405 It really makes it easyto meet people.We connected right away. 100 00:07:25,405 --> 00:07:28,408 Very first night.With her? 101 00:07:28,408 --> 00:07:30,410 Very first night?Yeah! 102 00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:34,414 And there are dozens of womenjust as friendly as heron board. 103 00:07:34,414 --> 00:07:37,417 Dude, I gotta tell you,whatever you're doing,take a week off... 104 00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:39,419 and get yourselfon one of those boats. 105 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:44,424 There was a line at the can.Honey, can we skip dinner? 106 00:07:44,424 --> 00:07:48,428 You look so hot,you got me in the moodfor take-out in bed. 107 00:07:48,428 --> 00:07:51,431 [ Both Moaning ] 108 00:07:52,432 --> 00:07:54,434 Tongue. 109 00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:00,440 - Ooh!- Wow! 110 00:08:07,447 --> 00:08:09,449 Wasn't thatcrazy Marshall Geller, 111 00:08:09,449 --> 00:08:12,452 the guy whoused to work in ourhigh school cafeteria? 112 00:08:12,452 --> 00:08:15,455 Nope. That wascrazy Marshall Geller, 113 00:08:15,455 --> 00:08:17,457 my new personal hero. 114 00:08:17,457 --> 00:08:19,459 Dude, let's bolt. 115 00:08:19,459 --> 00:08:22,462 Hanging aroundsome stupid baris no place to meet women. 116 00:08:22,462 --> 00:08:26,466 What are you talkin' about?You've been begging meto come here for months. 117 00:08:26,466 --> 00:08:28,468 Jerry, buddy, 118 00:08:28,468 --> 00:08:30,470 trust me. 119 00:08:30,470 --> 00:08:34,474 I have seen the light. * Come on, gettin' on down * 120 00:08:34,474 --> 00:08:36,476 * Get on down * 121 00:08:36,476 --> 00:08:38,478 * Get on, get on down * 122 00:08:38,478 --> 00:08:42,482 * Get on down, come on Go, go down * 123 00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:44,484 * Get on down * 124 00:08:44,484 --> 00:08:48,488 * Go, go down Get on down, come on * 125 00:08:48,488 --> 00:08:51,491 * Go, go down ** 126 00:08:53,493 --> 00:08:55,495 [ Mutters ] 127 00:09:03,503 --> 00:09:05,505 Aw, son of a bitch! [ Horn Honks ] 128 00:09:05,505 --> 00:09:08,508 That was my space!Fuck you! 129 00:09:08,508 --> 00:09:10,510 Fuck you right back,buddy.Nick, back off. 130 00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:13,513 I don't want to seean out-of-shape slobget his butt kicked. 131 00:09:13,513 --> 00:09:15,515 He ain't thatout of shape.I'm talkin' about you! 132 00:09:15,515 --> 00:09:18,518 You break a sweatchanging your shoes.Oh, stop. Bite me! 133 00:09:18,518 --> 00:09:20,520 - Blow me!- Kiss my ass! 134 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,522 - Fuck your mother!- Oh, yeah? 135 00:09:22,522 --> 00:09:24,524 No one would wantto fuck my mother'cause she's too ugly! 136 00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:27,527 Think I lost that one.Oh, yeah. 137 00:09:29,529 --> 00:09:34,534 Okay, it's the seven-day,six-night fun in the sunsingles package... 138 00:09:34,534 --> 00:09:37,537 with the standard three-to-onefemale-to-male ratio. 139 00:09:37,537 --> 00:09:41,541 Whoo-hoo-hoo!Just as the doctor ordered,right, buddy? 140 00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:43,543 I don't know, Nick.I don't thinkI'm ready for this. 141 00:09:43,543 --> 00:09:46,546 Come on!It's been six months! 142 00:09:46,546 --> 00:09:50,550 I don't like the sun,and I get seasick. 143 00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:53,553 - Hmm.- I don't know what to say to strange women. 144 00:09:53,553 --> 00:09:56,556 We're not going forthe discourse. We're goingfor the intercourse! 145 00:09:56,556 --> 00:10:00,560 Sex! That's allyou ever think about!Sex, sex, sex, sex! 146 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:03,563 - We'll take it.- Ha-ha-ha! 147 00:10:03,563 --> 00:10:05,565 There you go.Excellent. 148 00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:09,569 Oh, Larry.You're still here. 149 00:10:09,569 --> 00:10:11,571 Mm-hmm.Your mother died. 150 00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:15,575 - What? When? - This morning. 151 00:10:15,575 --> 00:10:18,578 I'm sorry. I thoughtyou got my Post-it. 152 00:10:18,578 --> 00:10:20,580 [ Larry ] Okay, thanks, Michael. 153 00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:24,584 All right. Gentlemen,I might want you to considerthis stateroom right here. 154 00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:27,587 It's a little bit larger-- 155 00:10:31,591 --> 00:10:35,595 Um, would you excuse mefor just a moment? 156 00:10:35,595 --> 00:10:37,597 Brian, help![ Sobbing ] 157 00:10:37,597 --> 00:10:41,601 [ Bawling ] Mama! 158 00:10:41,601 --> 00:10:43,603 [ Crying Continues ] Oh, God! 159 00:10:43,603 --> 00:10:46,606 - You!- Fuck you, pal! 160 00:10:46,606 --> 00:10:49,609 - Fuck you back.- Fuck your mother!- Oh, yeah? 161 00:10:49,609 --> 00:10:52,612 - No one would fuck my mother 'cause she's too ugly!- We've been through this! 162 00:10:52,612 --> 00:10:57,617 - Excuse me. What seems to be the problem here?- This guy-- pecker face. 163 00:10:57,617 --> 00:11:00,620 This guy's a jerk.All right, Brian.You know what? Enough. 164 00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:03,623 Let me handle this.Check on the ski packages.Yeah. 165 00:11:03,623 --> 00:11:07,627 Over near the Mauigetaways. Remember?Since the changeover? 166 00:11:07,627 --> 00:11:10,630 Yeah, I got 'em.I am so sorry. 167 00:11:10,630 --> 00:11:13,633 Brian's had a little problemwith the-- and the-- 168 00:11:13,633 --> 00:11:15,635 and the-- and the-- 169 00:11:15,635 --> 00:11:18,638 Oh. Yeah, bad news. 170 00:11:18,638 --> 00:11:23,643 But now he's doing fine.He's doing a lot of great workwith unwed teenage mothers. 171 00:11:23,643 --> 00:11:26,646 [ Chuckles ] So-- All right. 172 00:11:26,646 --> 00:11:29,649 [ Clears Throat ]Let's see. 173 00:11:29,649 --> 00:11:32,652 Seven-day, six-nightvacation cruise.Is that correct? 174 00:11:32,652 --> 00:11:34,654 That's the one, yeah.Right. 175 00:11:34,654 --> 00:11:36,656 Yeah.Right. 176 00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:38,658 Okay. 177 00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:44,664 You guys are set,gentlemen. 178 00:11:44,664 --> 00:11:48,668 I think you'llhave a very good time. Please enjoy your vacation. 179 00:11:48,668 --> 00:11:51,671 Thank you very much.And you should probablydo something about that guy. 180 00:11:51,671 --> 00:11:55,675 Don't worry. I've alreadytaken care of it.Good. 181 00:11:55,675 --> 00:11:58,678 And hey,I'm a letter writer. 182 00:11:58,678 --> 00:12:01,681 Duly noted.All right. 183 00:12:05,685 --> 00:12:08,688 Bye-bye, now. 184 00:12:08,688 --> 00:12:10,690 I'm too upsetto work ski packages. 185 00:12:10,690 --> 00:12:12,692 I can't believeyou took care of them. 186 00:12:12,692 --> 00:12:15,695 I took care of them,all right. 187 00:12:15,695 --> 00:12:18,698 'Cause no one callsmy little peckera pecker. 188 00:12:19,699 --> 00:12:20,700 Huh?Yeah. 189 00:12:21,701 --> 00:12:22,943 Yeah.[ Giggling ] 190 00:12:30,710 --> 00:12:34,714 Wow! Look at the sizeof that thing! 191 00:12:34,714 --> 00:12:37,717 And just think--it's filled withavailable women. 192 00:12:37,717 --> 00:12:40,720 Yeah,and here's the beauty partof the whole thing. 193 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,722 They can't get away from us.We'll be in the middleof the ocean. 194 00:12:42,722 --> 00:12:45,725 They can try,but they'll drownor get eaten by sharks. 195 00:12:45,725 --> 00:12:48,728 It's perfect! 196 00:12:48,728 --> 00:12:52,732 You know, sometimesI think there's somethingseriously wrong with you. 197 00:12:52,732 --> 00:12:55,735 I can live with that.[ Guffawing ] 198 00:12:55,735 --> 00:12:58,738 Excuse me.Can I ask you something? Yes. 199 00:12:59,739 --> 00:13:02,742 You board everybodyon this ship, right?Yes, sir. 200 00:13:02,742 --> 00:13:04,744 Let me ask you a question,guy-to-guy. 201 00:13:04,744 --> 00:13:09,749 Is there a lot ofsweet ass on this ship?I'm sure you'll be very happy. 202 00:13:09,749 --> 00:13:11,751 Yes!Hear that, Jer?Hey, hey! 203 00:13:11,751 --> 00:13:14,754 All righty!Whoo! 204 00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:18,758 A boat filled withhot, beautiful women! 205 00:13:18,758 --> 00:13:21,761 Yes!Awesome, awesome awesome! 206 00:13:21,761 --> 00:13:24,764 Can't you just feelthe sexy, lovely creatures... 207 00:13:24,764 --> 00:13:26,766 boarding this love boatas we speak? 208 00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:28,768 Watch out!I'm comin'!* Ba-ba, ba-ba, ba-ba * 209 00:13:28,768 --> 00:13:30,770 * Bee-ba, ba-ba, bee-ba ** 210 00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:34,774 Yeah, yeah. Whoo!Nick, you're right!This is great! 211 00:13:34,774 --> 00:13:37,777 Yeah, you know! 212 00:13:37,777 --> 00:13:39,779 [ Nick Yells ] Hey, what's up? 213 00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:41,781 How you doin'? Ooh! 214 00:13:41,781 --> 00:13:44,784 Yeah! All right! 215 00:13:44,784 --> 00:13:46,786 Friendly crowd, huh?Oh, yeah. 216 00:13:46,786 --> 00:13:49,789 Don't you ever doubt me! 217 00:13:58,798 --> 00:14:00,800 What the hellwas that? 218 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:04,804 Well, uh--Onboard entertainment. 219 00:14:04,804 --> 00:14:07,807 You know?I bet Cirque du Soleil'shere, like Vegas! 220 00:14:07,807 --> 00:14:10,810 Oh, cool.Right? 221 00:14:10,810 --> 00:14:12,812 [ Sighs ] 222 00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:14,814 Hey! How are ya? 223 00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:24,824 There it is--stateroom 211. 224 00:14:24,824 --> 00:14:27,827 The number that will beon everyone's lipsby the end of the trip. 225 00:14:31,831 --> 00:14:33,833 Let's do it. 226 00:14:36,836 --> 00:14:38,838 That's weird. 227 00:14:38,838 --> 00:14:42,842 Only one bed.Oh, I know why. 228 00:14:42,842 --> 00:14:47,847 'Cause we're gonna be havingso much sex, one guy's alwaysgonna be sleeping out. 229 00:14:47,847 --> 00:14:51,851 Yeah, right. You better hopethat couch is more comfortablethan it looks. 230 00:14:53,853 --> 00:14:55,855 There's a mirroron the ceiling. 231 00:14:57,857 --> 00:15:00,860 Excelente. That way the babes can watch me... 232 00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:05,865 get my freak on!** [ Humming ] 233 00:15:05,865 --> 00:15:08,868 Check this out, Jer.Four racquetball courts.Hey! 234 00:15:08,868 --> 00:15:10,870 Nine cocktail lounges.Ooh. 235 00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:13,873 A casino.Six and eightsare running mates! 236 00:15:13,873 --> 00:15:18,878 A video arcade.Onboard chest-waxing salon. 237 00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:21,881 Chest waxing?Yeah, of course. 238 00:15:21,881 --> 00:15:23,883 For swimmin'.Let me see that. 239 00:15:26,886 --> 00:15:31,891 "Club Socrates wants you to know you'll be treated like a queen." 240 00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:35,895 You mean "king."Queen.Says so right there. 241 00:15:38,898 --> 00:15:41,901 That's weird.Hmm. 242 00:15:41,901 --> 00:15:43,903 [ Knocking ] 243 00:15:43,903 --> 00:15:45,905 Hello. 244 00:15:45,905 --> 00:15:49,909 Ring, ring, ring.Everybody conga! 245 00:15:49,909 --> 00:15:51,911 ** [ Boom box: Salsa ]* Conga, conga, conga * 246 00:15:51,911 --> 00:15:55,915 * Everybody party Party, party, party * 247 00:15:55,915 --> 00:15:59,919 * 5:00 today **Yeah, baby! 248 00:15:59,919 --> 00:16:02,922 I told you, Jer.This boat is wild! 249 00:16:02,922 --> 00:16:05,925 Where's the party,sweet thing?Stateroom 209. 250 00:16:05,925 --> 00:16:09,929 Ooh!Stateroom 209. Hey! 251 00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:13,933 [ Low Voice ]It's casual.[ Purring ] 252 00:16:15,935 --> 00:16:19,939 [ Horn Blowing ] 253 00:16:21,941 --> 00:16:24,944 To fresh scratcheson our backs. 254 00:16:25,465 --> 00:16:29,949 - Scotch and soda, please. - Coming right up, sir. 255 00:16:29,949 --> 00:16:31,951 ** [ Sound System: Liza Minnelli ] 256 00:16:31,951 --> 00:16:33,953 Oh, please! 257 00:16:33,953 --> 00:16:37,957 Why do they alwayshave to play Liza? 258 00:16:37,957 --> 00:16:40,960 I don't know.I kind of like Lizawith a "Z." 259 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,962 Yeah, she's kinda coolfor makin' out. 260 00:16:42,962 --> 00:16:46,966 I prefer Johnny Mathismyself. 261 00:16:46,966 --> 00:16:50,970 Yeah, if you're gonnamake out with a dude. 262 00:16:53,973 --> 00:16:56,976 That is very funny. 263 00:16:56,976 --> 00:17:00,980 [ Sighs ]My name is Faversham.Lloyd Faversham. 264 00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:02,982 Nick Ragoni.Nick. 265 00:17:02,982 --> 00:17:05,785 Jerry.It's your first cruise? 266 00:17:05,985 --> 00:17:07,987 No, my third.And you? 267 00:17:07,987 --> 00:17:09,989 - Número uno. - Oh. 268 00:17:09,989 --> 00:17:12,992 Then you are going topositively adore it. 269 00:17:12,992 --> 00:17:17,997 - It is one wild, decadent week.- That's why we're here, right? 270 00:17:17,997 --> 00:17:19,999 All-night parties. Excellent. 271 00:17:19,999 --> 00:17:23,002 - Midnight skinny-dipping.- Sign me up! 272 00:17:23,002 --> 00:17:26,005 And if you're into it,lots of sex, 273 00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:28,007 sex... sex. 274 00:17:28,007 --> 00:17:31,010 You hear that, Jer? All the sex a man could want. 275 00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:35,014 Well, then you must visitthe hole-in-one room. 276 00:17:35,014 --> 00:17:38,017 Oh, they have an onboard driving range. 277 00:17:38,017 --> 00:17:42,021 Some of the chaps down theredo swing some very large clubs. 278 00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:46,025 Hmm.You two havean open relationship? 279 00:17:46,025 --> 00:17:49,028 Open? What do you meanby "open relationship"? 280 00:17:49,028 --> 00:17:51,030 I mean, do you date? 281 00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:53,032 Of course we date.That's why we're here.Yeah! 282 00:17:53,032 --> 00:17:59,038 That's absolutely wonderful.We must get together sometime,go for a midnight swim. 283 00:17:59,038 --> 00:18:01,040 Do whatever feels right. 284 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:05,044 That is what a gay cruiseis all about. 285 00:18:05,044 --> 00:18:09,048 ** [ Liza Minnelli Continues ] 286 00:18:09,048 --> 00:18:11,050 I see. 287 00:18:11,050 --> 00:18:13,052 Hear that, Jerry? 288 00:18:13,052 --> 00:18:17,056 We can dowhatever we want,whatever feels right. 289 00:18:17,056 --> 00:18:21,060 That's whata gay cruiseis all about. 290 00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:24,063 Whatever we want to do,we can do it... 291 00:18:24,063 --> 00:18:26,065 becauseit's a gay cruise. 292 00:18:26,065 --> 00:18:31,070 It's a gay cruise, Jerry!Not a bi cruise!It's a gay cruise! 293 00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:34,073 Capital "G," capital "A," capital "Y-M-C-A"... 294 00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:36,075 gay cruise, Jerry! 295 00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:38,077 Damn, damn, damn! 296 00:18:39,078 --> 00:18:42,081 I wonder how many other peoplemade the same mistake I did. 297 00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,085 No one! Shit! 298 00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:49,088 Jerry!Don't worry, buddy! 299 00:18:49,088 --> 00:18:54,093 I'm bringing you back home.I'm gonna get you out of here.Let's go! 300 00:18:55,094 --> 00:18:58,097 Help! Help!Somebody help us! 301 00:18:58,097 --> 00:19:00,099 We're straight! 302 00:19:00,099 --> 00:19:04,103 We're straight! Hey! Nick! 303 00:19:04,103 --> 00:19:07,106 Stop acting like a jerk!We'll figure this out. 304 00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:11,110 - What are we gonna do? We gotta get off this boat. - Ooh! 305 00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:14,113 We gotta get off!Excuse me, sir. You know wherewe can get off real quick? 306 00:19:14,113 --> 00:19:18,117 Try the hole-in-one room.I'm starting to think that'snot a real driving range. 307 00:19:18,117 --> 00:19:20,119 In fact,I'm convinced of it. 308 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:22,121 Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it! 309 00:19:22,121 --> 00:19:25,124 We're trapped like rats! 310 00:19:28,127 --> 00:19:30,129 What? 311 00:19:30,129 --> 00:19:33,132 I checked our itinerary. 312 00:19:33,132 --> 00:19:35,134 We don't dockfor four days. 313 00:19:35,134 --> 00:19:40,139 - Why do I ever listen to you?- Are you implying that this is somehow my fault? 314 00:19:40,139 --> 00:19:43,142 Oh, I'm not implying it.I'm saying it. 315 00:19:43,142 --> 00:19:46,145 If you hadn't insulted that travel agent, none of this would've happened! 316 00:19:46,145 --> 00:19:49,148 Maybe there'sanother explanation. 317 00:19:49,148 --> 00:19:51,150 Yeah? What? 318 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:55,154 Maybe that travel agent thoughthe was doing you a favor... 319 00:19:55,154 --> 00:19:58,157 because, uh, you know-- 320 00:19:58,157 --> 00:20:01,160 - Because what?- Because you're a little femme, that's why! 321 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,163 You always dress real nice,you're in shape, you're neat! 322 00:20:04,163 --> 00:20:06,165 Oh, and you use thosepastel-colored ballsat the bowling alley. 323 00:20:06,165 --> 00:20:11,170 Don't think thatgot past me! 324 00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:17,176 You're an idiot,a thickheaded moron! 325 00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:20,179 Felicia was right.I should've dumpedyour ass years ago! 326 00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:22,181 If you wanted to dumpsomeone's ass years ago,it should've been Felicia's! 327 00:20:22,862 --> 00:20:25,184 Oh!That chickwas Satan's sister. 328 00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:27,186 Yeah, devil in a "D" cup! 329 00:20:27,186 --> 00:20:31,190 Felicia was as frosty a bitchas I've ever seen!I'm gonna kill ya! 330 00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:34,193 I'm gonna kill you![ Grunting ] 331 00:20:34,193 --> 00:20:38,197 I knew I heardchoo-chi, pom-pom time! 332 00:20:38,197 --> 00:20:41,200 - Choo-choo-choo-choo!- Don't get the wrong idea! 333 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,203 Oh, Hector alwaysget the wrong idea. 334 00:20:44,203 --> 00:20:47,206 That is why he'sno longer welcomein the state of Missouri. 335 00:20:47,206 --> 00:20:49,208 Buddy, you prancedinto the wrong cabin. 336 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:53,212 My friend and I--We're not gay.Huh. 337 00:20:53,212 --> 00:20:56,215 [ Sputters, Laughs ]Ring-ring! Hold the phone. 338 00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:59,218 - You're telling me you two guys are not gay.- That's right. 339 00:21:00,219 --> 00:21:04,223 Oh, pull Hector's other leg.It's got bells on it. 340 00:21:04,223 --> 00:21:06,225 I'm getting out of here. 341 00:21:08,227 --> 00:21:11,230 Gee, what hasn'tgotten into him? 342 00:21:14,233 --> 00:21:16,235 Out! 343 00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:18,237 ** [ Piano ] [ Men ] * Whoa, here he comes * 344 00:21:18,237 --> 00:21:21,240 * Watch out, boy He'll chew you up * 345 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,243 * Whoa, here he comes He's a maneater * 346 00:21:24,243 --> 00:21:27,246 * Whoa, here he comes * 347 00:21:27,246 --> 00:21:29,248 * Watch out, boy He'll chew you up * 348 00:21:29,248 --> 00:21:33,252 * Whoa, here he comes He's a maneater * 349 00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:36,255 * I wouldn't if I were you ** 350 00:21:42,261 --> 00:21:44,263 [ Applause ] [ Man ] Okay. Bachelor Number Two, 351 00:21:44,263 --> 00:21:47,266 what's the most unusual place that you ever made love? 352 00:21:47,266 --> 00:21:52,271 Well, once I did itin a dressing roomat International Male. 353 00:21:52,271 --> 00:21:55,274 Right. And how 'bout you, Bachelor Number Three? 354 00:21:55,274 --> 00:21:58,277 What's the most unusual place that you ever made love? 355 00:21:58,277 --> 00:22:02,281 - Inside a woman.- [ Audience Laughing ] 356 00:22:02,281 --> 00:22:04,283 [ Groans ] 357 00:22:09,288 --> 00:22:12,291 Hey, who we gotta screwto get a drink around here? 358 00:22:12,291 --> 00:22:15,294 [ Snickering ]Whoop. 359 00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:19,298 Oop. 360 00:22:20,299 --> 00:22:23,302 Ooh. Ooh.Hey, buddy, you okay? 361 00:22:25,304 --> 00:22:27,306 Do I look gay? 362 00:22:28,307 --> 00:22:32,311 Never saw an old,gay grandpa before. 363 00:22:32,311 --> 00:22:35,314 Aah.Whoo-hoo. 364 00:22:40,319 --> 00:22:43,322 Where are allthe gay people at? 365 00:22:43,322 --> 00:22:45,324 Y'all always supposed towanna party. 366 00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:48,327 Oops. Oop. 367 00:22:49,328 --> 00:22:52,331 Ooh! 368 00:23:13,352 --> 00:23:15,354 [ Gasps ] 369 00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,362 - Are you okay?- I'm fine! 370 00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:39,378 [ Thinking ]Men on dates, holding hands,touching, kissing. 371 00:23:39,378 --> 00:23:41,380 I can't take it.Gotta think. 372 00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:45,384 Not good at it.Took too much Shopin high school. 373 00:23:46,385 --> 00:23:50,389 [ Helicopter Whirring ] 374 00:23:50,389 --> 00:23:54,393 Help! Pick me up! 375 00:23:54,393 --> 00:23:56,395 Get me out of here! 376 00:23:56,395 --> 00:23:59,398 Hey, drop down a ladder! 377 00:23:59,398 --> 00:24:01,400 I like girls! [ Passing Overhead ] 378 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,403 [ Wailing ] 379 00:24:11,410 --> 00:24:16,415 Please! Please come back! 380 00:24:22,421 --> 00:24:26,425 [ Metal Banging ] [ Helicopter Sputtering ] 381 00:24:26,425 --> 00:24:28,427 Ohh! 382 00:24:28,427 --> 00:24:31,430 Oh, my-- [ Crashes Into Water ] 383 00:24:32,431 --> 00:24:34,433 Jesus! 384 00:24:42,441 --> 00:24:44,443 Oop. 385 00:24:52,451 --> 00:24:56,455 Flare gun. I don't know anything about a flare gun. I swear I was here all night. 386 00:24:56,455 --> 00:24:59,458 A flare gun? I don't knowanything about a flare gun.I was here all night. 387 00:24:59,458 --> 00:25:02,461 Flare gun?I don't know nothing aboutno stinking flare gun! 388 00:25:02,461 --> 00:25:04,463 [ Door Opening ] Oh, shit. 389 00:25:04,463 --> 00:25:08,467 Okay, here we are. 390 00:25:08,467 --> 00:25:11,470 You should go change now.Where's your robe? 391 00:25:12,471 --> 00:25:14,473 Okay. 392 00:25:14,473 --> 00:25:18,477 Okay, I give up!I give up! I did it! 393 00:25:18,477 --> 00:25:22,481 Hey, Jer.How was your evening? 394 00:25:22,481 --> 00:25:26,485 Hi. Your friend hada little too muchto drink. 395 00:25:26,485 --> 00:25:28,487 She thinks I'm drunk. 396 00:25:28,487 --> 00:25:31,490 Ah, Nicky, Nicky!All right, all right. 397 00:25:31,490 --> 00:25:34,493 I fell in the pool!Oh! Ooh! Ooh! 398 00:25:34,493 --> 00:25:37,496 [ Nick ] Ah, you're sitting on my balls! 399 00:25:37,496 --> 00:25:39,498 Okay, um, I'm gonnaleave you two alone. 400 00:25:39,498 --> 00:25:42,501 Good night.Oh, you're gettin' meall wet. 401 00:25:42,501 --> 00:25:44,503 [ Nick Groans ] 402 00:25:49,508 --> 00:25:52,511 Jerry! Wake up!I'm starvin'. 403 00:25:53,032 --> 00:25:56,515 Come on, Jerry.[ Snoring ] 404 00:25:56,515 --> 00:26:00,519 Dude, don't make mego up there by myself.Get up. 405 00:26:00,519 --> 00:26:02,521 Jerry! 406 00:26:02,521 --> 00:26:05,524 Screw it.What am I afraid of?[ Snoring ] 407 00:26:05,524 --> 00:26:08,527 How gaycould a buffet be? 408 00:26:08,527 --> 00:26:11,530 ** [ Instrumental ] 409 00:26:38,557 --> 00:26:40,559 Is this seat taken?Actually-- 410 00:26:40,559 --> 00:26:44,563 I hate dining alone.Bet you feel the same way too.I'm okay with it. 411 00:26:44,563 --> 00:26:48,567 I see you tookthe omelette, the wafflesand the flapjacks. 412 00:26:48,567 --> 00:26:50,569 Hungry little man,aren't you? 413 00:26:50,569 --> 00:26:54,573 Would you care fora bite of my sausage? 414 00:26:54,573 --> 00:26:57,576 In England,we call them bangers.Eww! 415 00:26:58,577 --> 00:27:01,580 Captain,could you come over herea minute, please? 416 00:27:01,580 --> 00:27:03,582 Captain,there's a small craftoff the starboard bow... 417 00:27:04,263 --> 00:27:07,586 that's trying to getour attention.[ Grunts ] 418 00:27:07,586 --> 00:27:10,589 [ All Yelling ]Help! Help! 419 00:27:10,589 --> 00:27:14,593 Somebody save us! Somebody save us! Help! 420 00:27:15,594 --> 00:27:18,597 Jesus!Sound the alarm. 421 00:27:18,597 --> 00:27:21,600 All hands on dick.Deck. 422 00:27:21,681 --> 00:27:23,602 Deck! 423 00:27:31,610 --> 00:27:33,612 Hot tea? 424 00:27:35,614 --> 00:27:37,616 Why don't youhave a seat? 425 00:27:37,616 --> 00:27:39,618 For you. 426 00:27:47,626 --> 00:27:50,629 Oh, my God! 427 00:27:53,632 --> 00:27:56,635 - I must be dreaming. Somebody pinch me. - Sure. My pleasure. 428 00:27:56,635 --> 00:27:59,638 Ow! I didn't sayon my ass! 429 00:27:59,638 --> 00:28:02,641 You didn't not say it.I didn't think I had to specify. 430 00:28:02,641 --> 00:28:05,644 Jesus. 431 00:28:09,648 --> 00:28:12,651 Nick, Nick!You gotta help me out. 432 00:28:12,651 --> 00:28:14,653 Remember that woman thatdragged me to the roomlast night? 433 00:28:14,653 --> 00:28:18,657 I can't get her off my mind.She kissed me. Technically,it was mouth-to-mouth. 434 00:28:18,657 --> 00:28:23,662 But it was fabulous.I mean, I gotta find her.I was so wasted la-- 435 00:28:25,664 --> 00:28:28,667 Who are they?The answer to our prayers,Jerry. 436 00:28:28,667 --> 00:28:31,670 Twelve of the most gorgeouscreatures I've ever seen. 437 00:28:31,670 --> 00:28:33,672 Ooh.But I'm not greedy. 438 00:28:33,672 --> 00:28:36,675 I'll share.Go ahead. 439 00:28:36,675 --> 00:28:39,678 Pick two. 440 00:28:39,678 --> 00:28:42,681 No.This girl was fabulous. 441 00:28:42,681 --> 00:28:44,683 She's special.I gotta find her. 442 00:28:49,688 --> 00:28:52,691 Ooh!She's special, special. 443 00:29:00,699 --> 00:29:02,701 Hello. 444 00:29:02,701 --> 00:29:04,703 H-H-Hi. 445 00:29:04,703 --> 00:29:08,707 Who are you?I'm Nick Ragoni, the mostgrateful man on the planet. 446 00:29:08,707 --> 00:29:12,711 I'm Inga.Very pleasurableto meet you. 447 00:29:12,711 --> 00:29:16,715 How'd you all get here?We are the Swedishsuntanning team... 448 00:29:16,715 --> 00:29:19,718 on our way to the HawaiianTropics competitionin some bars. 449 00:29:19,718 --> 00:29:22,721 Some bonehead shot downour helicopter. 450 00:29:22,721 --> 00:29:24,723 Coach had to makewater landing. 451 00:29:24,723 --> 00:29:28,727 I didn't think this wasgonna happen until I diedand went to heaven. 452 00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:31,730 It's lucky thingwe were picked up by a boatfull of homo boys. 453 00:29:31,730 --> 00:29:35,734 It would be terribleto have straight menhassling and ogling us... 454 00:29:35,734 --> 00:29:38,737 while we're trying to workon our even tan lines. 455 00:29:39,738 --> 00:29:42,741 Oh, you're so right. 456 00:29:42,741 --> 00:29:45,744 Lucky I'm gay! 457 00:29:45,744 --> 00:29:49,748 I'm super gay. I'm mega-- I'm gay-normous! 458 00:29:49,748 --> 00:29:52,751 I'm so gay. 459 00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:57,756 But that's good,'cause now you guys canall feel comfortable... 460 00:29:57,756 --> 00:30:01,760 in front of me and take off your tops and stuff. 461 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,763 And I can do this for you. 462 00:30:04,763 --> 00:30:07,766 I can put tanning oilsand creamy lotions... 463 00:30:07,766 --> 00:30:11,770 all overyour luscious bodies! 464 00:30:11,770 --> 00:30:14,773 And there won't beany worries from youbecause... 465 00:30:14,773 --> 00:30:18,777 I'm so gay![ Laughs ] 466 00:30:18,777 --> 00:30:21,780 * When you need something Don't stop, don't stop * [ Nick Moaning ] 467 00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:25,784 Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby! Yeah, baby! 468 00:30:25,784 --> 00:30:28,787 Almost finished! Yeah! 469 00:30:28,787 --> 00:30:31,790 [ Screaming ] 470 00:30:31,790 --> 00:30:33,792 Okay, let's do the back. 471 00:30:33,792 --> 00:30:38,797 The first time I thinkI realized I was gay... 472 00:30:38,797 --> 00:30:41,800 was when I was around 12,in Scouts. 473 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,803 I really liked putting onthat kerchief. 474 00:30:44,803 --> 00:30:46,805 In fact, it was the only partI liked about it. 475 00:30:47,806 --> 00:30:49,808 That and the nude swimming. 476 00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:53,812 Anyway, I hope you galsall feel comfortablearound me! 477 00:30:53,812 --> 00:30:58,817 - [ All ] Ja, Nick.- 'Cause I sure do feel comfortable around you. 478 00:31:00,819 --> 00:31:03,822 All done! Who's next?How 'bout you, Ursula? 479 00:31:03,822 --> 00:31:07,826 Ready for your second coat?Uh-oh, these thighs looka little dry. 480 00:31:07,826 --> 00:31:11,830 There we go.[ Laughing ] 481 00:31:12,831 --> 00:31:15,834 - What do you want? - [ Ferocious Growling ] 482 00:31:15,834 --> 00:31:17,836 What the hell is that? 483 00:31:17,836 --> 00:31:21,840 I got this fromthat dude over there.He's hot. 484 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,843 You are no gay homo man. 485 00:31:24,843 --> 00:31:27,846 I am Sonya, coach of tanning team. 486 00:31:27,846 --> 00:31:30,849 - What? - Quiet! As long as these women are in training, 487 00:31:30,849 --> 00:31:34,853 there will be no trouser snakesnear their hot, luscious po-pos! 488 00:31:34,853 --> 00:31:37,856 Put me down!Coach of the tanning team.That's ridiculous! 489 00:31:38,857 --> 00:31:40,859 If I want to talkto any of these ladies,I will, 490 00:31:40,859 --> 00:31:43,862 and there's not a damn thingyou can do to stop me! 491 00:31:43,862 --> 00:31:47,866 - Oh, yeah?- [ Nick Screams, Groans ] 492 00:31:53,152 --> 00:31:57,876 [ Barks ]What the hellhappened to you? 493 00:31:57,876 --> 00:31:59,878 I diedand went to heaven, 494 00:31:59,878 --> 00:32:02,881 and then some muscle-boundblond dwarf knocked meback down to hell. 495 00:32:02,881 --> 00:32:05,884 - What?- You know those 12 gorgeous hotties? 496 00:32:05,884 --> 00:32:09,888 - They got a goddamn bodyguard.- Oh. 497 00:32:09,888 --> 00:32:14,893 I can take disappointments,Jer, but little Nicky, 498 00:32:14,893 --> 00:32:18,897 he's already known such heartache in his short life. 499 00:32:18,897 --> 00:32:21,900 Then I guess all three of usstruck out. 500 00:32:21,900 --> 00:32:24,903 I still can't find that girl.I've looked everywhere. 501 00:32:24,903 --> 00:32:27,906 You know, 502 00:32:27,906 --> 00:32:32,911 I've kissed Felicia for fouryears and never felt anythinglike I felt last night. 503 00:32:32,911 --> 00:32:35,914 That girl was special.I gotta find her. 504 00:32:35,914 --> 00:32:38,917 You're abandoning me?What am I supposed to do? 505 00:32:40,919 --> 00:32:44,923 It's a luxury cruise.Not everything'sgay-oriented. 506 00:32:44,923 --> 00:32:47,926 [ Man ] No more bets! 507 00:32:47,926 --> 00:32:49,928 Red three is the winner. 508 00:32:50,929 --> 00:32:53,932 [ Cackling ]Beautiful. 509 00:32:53,932 --> 00:32:57,936 Poker.This is gonna be sweet! 510 00:32:57,936 --> 00:33:00,939 These trouser pilotsare no match for a lustyhetero like myself. 511 00:33:00,939 --> 00:33:03,942 This will be liketaking candy from a baby. 512 00:33:03,942 --> 00:33:06,945 Why is that?Are gay men notoriouslybad gamblers? 513 00:33:06,945 --> 00:33:07,946 Awful! They can't bluff. 514 00:33:07,946 --> 00:33:11,950 They look at cards,they start giggling.It's terrible. 515 00:33:11,950 --> 00:33:15,954 Nick, promise me you won'tact like a gay-bashing,narrow-minded Neanderthal. 516 00:33:15,954 --> 00:33:17,956 Buddy,you're talking to me. 517 00:33:17,956 --> 00:33:20,959 The lady, couple of ducks--quack, quack-- possible flush. 518 00:33:20,959 --> 00:33:23,962 Hello, gays-- guys.Mind if I join you? 519 00:33:23,962 --> 00:33:26,965 Sure thing, gorgeous. 520 00:33:26,965 --> 00:33:29,968 I can't remember--does a straightbeat a flush? 521 00:33:29,968 --> 00:33:31,970 [ Cash Register Ringing ] [ Nick ] Damn! 522 00:33:31,970 --> 00:33:35,294 - I really thought I had that one. - Listen, Nick. 523 00:33:35,974 --> 00:33:37,976 I don't want youto take offense, but can Igive you a piece of advice? 524 00:33:37,976 --> 00:33:40,979 What?Don't clearyour throat. 525 00:33:40,979 --> 00:33:42,981 What? 526 00:33:42,981 --> 00:33:46,985 Every time you bluff,you clear your throat.I do? 527 00:33:46,985 --> 00:33:48,987 - Mm-hmm.- Don't play the cards. 528 00:33:49,868 --> 00:33:52,991 Play the players.[ Sighs ] 529 00:33:52,991 --> 00:33:56,995 All right, here we go.Ante up, five in the chute,three-card Monty. 530 00:33:56,995 --> 00:33:59,998 Kings to win. Here we go.Uh, and there's a winner. 531 00:33:59,998 --> 00:34:02,000 We got a winner. 532 00:34:14,012 --> 00:34:16,014 Hey, you. 533 00:34:16,014 --> 00:34:20,018 - [ Whimpers ]- Unbelievable. 534 00:34:22,020 --> 00:34:24,022 That was embarrassing! 535 00:34:24,022 --> 00:34:27,025 They offer a poolsafety class on board.You should check it out. 536 00:34:27,025 --> 00:34:29,027 Let megive you a hand. 537 00:34:29,027 --> 00:34:32,030 I'm Gabriella. 538 00:34:36,034 --> 00:34:38,036 I'm-- I'm Jerry. 539 00:34:38,036 --> 00:34:41,039 ** [ Humming ] 540 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:44,042 Oh, boy! 541 00:34:49,047 --> 00:34:51,049 Hi.Hi! 542 00:34:51,049 --> 00:34:54,052 You like? 543 00:34:54,052 --> 00:34:56,054 Oh, yeah. 544 00:34:56,054 --> 00:34:58,056 Oh, the ice cream.Yeah, that's okay. 545 00:34:59,057 --> 00:35:01,059 Coach would kill meif she knew I broke training, 546 00:35:02,060 --> 00:35:03,061 but I no can help. 547 00:35:03,061 --> 00:35:06,064 I am--What is the word? 548 00:35:06,064 --> 00:35:08,066 Oral. 549 00:35:08,066 --> 00:35:10,068 That's the word, 550 00:35:10,068 --> 00:35:12,070 and what a wonderful wordit is. 551 00:35:12,070 --> 00:35:15,073 I'm so lonely. 552 00:35:15,073 --> 00:35:18,076 Coach is being very strictabout keeping usaway from men... 553 00:35:18,076 --> 00:35:21,079 during tanning season. 554 00:35:21,079 --> 00:35:23,081 It's too badyou're gay, Nick.Good night. 555 00:35:23,081 --> 00:35:26,084 Inga,wait, wait, wait. 556 00:35:26,084 --> 00:35:30,088 I've always been curiousabout your country. You mindif I ask you something? 557 00:35:30,088 --> 00:35:32,090 Yeah. What would you liketo know about, Nick? 558 00:35:32,090 --> 00:35:35,093 Our cities, our lakes and rivers, 559 00:35:35,093 --> 00:35:37,095 our safe and sturdyautomobiles? 560 00:35:37,095 --> 00:35:41,099 I'm a big fan of your cinema.I've rented quite a bit of it. 561 00:35:41,099 --> 00:35:45,103 I've noticed your people'sprogressive attitudestowards premarital sex. 562 00:35:46,104 --> 00:35:48,106 So what I waswondering is, 563 00:35:48,106 --> 00:35:52,110 theoretically,if my own sexual orientationwere to be-- 564 00:35:52,110 --> 00:35:55,113 If you're asking if I'd sleepwith you if you were straight,the answer is ja. 565 00:35:55,113 --> 00:35:57,115 Ja? Ja? Ja means yes, right? Ja. 566 00:35:57,115 --> 00:36:00,118 Inga, I have a surprisefor you. I'm straight. 567 00:36:00,118 --> 00:36:04,122 I'm as straightas a Volvo going downan Oslo toll road. 568 00:36:04,122 --> 00:36:06,124 Oslo is in Norway. 569 00:36:07,125 --> 00:36:08,126 The point is,we can make love. 570 00:36:08,126 --> 00:36:12,130 I know that's the best newsI've ever heard. 571 00:36:12,130 --> 00:36:15,133 I'm in cabin 4433.Meet me in five minuten. 572 00:36:15,133 --> 00:36:19,137 You got it.Five minuten. 573 00:36:19,137 --> 00:36:22,140 And not a minuten more. 574 00:36:22,140 --> 00:36:26,144 Hello. Are thereany condoms availableon the ship? 575 00:36:29,147 --> 00:36:30,829 [ Knocking ] 576 00:36:31,149 --> 00:36:33,151 Come in.Door is open. 577 00:36:34,152 --> 00:36:37,155 Mm-hmm. 578 00:36:37,155 --> 00:36:40,158 Coach! 579 00:36:40,158 --> 00:36:43,161 Change in room assignments.You bunk with Pia. 580 00:36:43,161 --> 00:36:46,164 - But why, Coach?- You cannot be trusted with mini bar. 581 00:36:46,164 --> 00:36:49,167 You are in training.But, Coach,I eat nothing all day. 582 00:36:49,167 --> 00:36:52,170 You ate yesterday, ja? [ Loud Slap ] 583 00:36:52,170 --> 00:36:55,173 Your butt is disgusting.Wait, I'd better double check. 584 00:36:55,173 --> 00:36:59,177 [ Gasping ] Ja. Disgusting. 585 00:36:59,177 --> 00:37:02,180 [ Gasping ]Both cheeks. 586 00:37:02,180 --> 00:37:06,184 Oh, ja, ja, ja. Move it, fatty! 587 00:37:06,184 --> 00:37:08,186 Knock it offand go to bed.All right, Coach. 588 00:37:10,188 --> 00:37:13,191 Thank you for lending me your jacket. 589 00:37:14,192 --> 00:37:17,195 - So what do you do on this ship?- I'm a dance teacher. 590 00:37:17,195 --> 00:37:20,198 Wow. Teaching dancemust be fun. It can be. 591 00:37:20,198 --> 00:37:22,200 You know, especiallyon the gay cruises. 592 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:26,204 - They're much more fun than the straight ones.- Why is that? 593 00:37:26,204 --> 00:37:30,208 You go on the straight cruisesand all you meet are these...horny creeps. 594 00:37:30,208 --> 00:37:32,210 Oh.I got a friend like that. 595 00:37:32,731 --> 00:37:34,212 [ Sighs ] 596 00:37:34,212 --> 00:37:37,215 I bet men hit on you all the time. 597 00:37:37,215 --> 00:37:40,218 You've got a hot ass. 598 00:37:41,219 --> 00:37:45,223 - Excuse me?- Your ass-- it's hot. 599 00:37:47,225 --> 00:37:49,227 Thanks. 600 00:37:52,230 --> 00:37:56,234 - Your butt's nothin' to sneeze at either.- Ooh. 601 00:37:56,234 --> 00:37:59,237 So... you must havea boyfriend. 602 00:37:59,237 --> 00:38:02,240 No, no, no, no. No boyfriend. Really? 603 00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:05,243 - Why not?- Because every boyfriend I've ever had... 604 00:38:05,243 --> 00:38:08,246 has turned out to bea son of a bitch. 605 00:38:08,246 --> 00:38:12,250 Not every guy's a--I know what you're thinking. I haven't met the right guy. 606 00:38:13,251 --> 00:38:16,254 Trust me, honey,I've met every type out there,and it's pretty bad. 607 00:38:16,254 --> 00:38:19,257 Liars,guys with two wives, 608 00:38:19,257 --> 00:38:22,260 guys with commitment issues, guys with parole issues. 609 00:38:23,261 --> 00:38:25,263 You name it,I've dated them all, 610 00:38:25,263 --> 00:38:28,266 which is why I'm so relievedto be on this boat. 611 00:38:28,266 --> 00:38:30,268 There's not one straight manin sight. 612 00:38:30,268 --> 00:38:32,270 Excuse me?It's so great. 613 00:38:32,270 --> 00:38:37,275 I can really be myself.I don't care about makeup,about what I'm wearing, 614 00:38:37,275 --> 00:38:40,278 if a guy's talking to mebecause he wants toget into my pants. 615 00:38:40,278 --> 00:38:43,281 Gabriella, um--You know what else? 616 00:38:43,281 --> 00:38:45,283 Let's say I do get horny. 617 00:38:45,283 --> 00:38:49,287 Maybe I can even finda gay guy, and he cando me the favor. 618 00:38:49,287 --> 00:38:51,289 "The favor"? 619 00:38:51,289 --> 00:38:54,292 How do we say in English? 620 00:38:54,292 --> 00:38:57,295 Make me scream, make me moan, 621 00:38:57,295 --> 00:39:00,298 screw my brains out. 622 00:39:00,298 --> 00:39:02,300 Ooh. 623 00:39:04,302 --> 00:39:07,305 I don't meanto be a bitch, 624 00:39:08,306 --> 00:39:13,311 but these stateroomscould use a bit more color. 625 00:39:14,312 --> 00:39:16,314 Now we are laying downto sleep, 626 00:39:16,314 --> 00:39:20,318 our hot, tight bodiesthe Lord will keep. 627 00:39:26,324 --> 00:39:29,327 Inga, darling.It's me, Nicky. 628 00:39:29,327 --> 00:39:31,329 I'm here! 629 00:39:38,336 --> 00:39:43,341 Oh, Reverend Lindstrom, nej. 630 00:39:43,341 --> 00:39:47,345 This wouldn't do.What would the bishop say? 631 00:39:49,347 --> 00:39:53,351 Who's knockingat my drawers? 632 00:39:53,351 --> 00:39:55,353 - Oh, my-- - [ Muscles Cracking ] 633 00:39:55,353 --> 00:39:58,356 Take Mama downtown,baby! 634 00:40:01,359 --> 00:40:04,362 Oh, Mama! 635 00:40:04,362 --> 00:40:08,366 Help me, Jesus![ Babbling ] 636 00:40:08,406 --> 00:40:12,370 [ Nick Screaming ] 637 00:40:12,370 --> 00:40:15,373 Oh! 638 00:40:17,776 --> 00:40:22,380 [ Nick Screaming ] 639 00:40:22,380 --> 00:40:25,383 [ Gasping ] 640 00:40:26,384 --> 00:40:28,386 * She put the lime in the coconut and shake 'em all up * 641 00:40:29,387 --> 00:40:32,350 - Nej, nej, nej. Ja, ja, ja, ja. - Get off me! 642 00:40:32,390 --> 00:40:34,392 Oh, why? 643 00:40:34,392 --> 00:40:36,394 * Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em all up * [ Coach Giggling ] 644 00:40:36,394 --> 00:40:38,396 * Put the lime in the coconut and drink 'em all up ** 645 00:40:38,396 --> 00:40:42,400 - [ Screams, Grunts ]- What's that? 646 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,403 It's coming fromthe coach's room. 647 00:40:45,403 --> 00:40:47,405 - [ All Gasp ]- [ Sighs ] 648 00:40:47,405 --> 00:40:50,408 Smokin' sturgeon!Coach's pussy just blew up! 649 00:40:50,408 --> 00:40:54,412 Was good for me. Ja. 650 00:40:54,412 --> 00:40:57,415 * Sometimes it's hard to be a woman * 651 00:40:58,416 --> 00:41:03,421 * Givin' all your love to just one man * 652 00:41:03,421 --> 00:41:07,425 * You'll have bad times You'll have good times * 653 00:41:07,425 --> 00:41:11,429 * Doin' things that you don't understand * 654 00:41:11,429 --> 00:41:13,431 Oh, baby. 655 00:41:13,431 --> 00:41:16,434 * But if you love him you'll forgive him * 656 00:41:16,434 --> 00:41:21,439 * Even though he's hard to understand * 657 00:41:21,439 --> 00:41:24,442 * And if you love him * 658 00:41:24,442 --> 00:41:26,444 * Oh, be proud of him * 659 00:41:26,444 --> 00:41:29,447 * 'Cause after all he's just a man * 660 00:41:30,448 --> 00:41:33,451 * Stand by your man * 661 00:41:34,452 --> 00:41:36,454 * Give him two arms to cling to * 662 00:41:36,454 --> 00:41:40,458 * And something warm to come to when the nights are cold and lonely * 663 00:41:40,458 --> 00:41:42,460 * Stand by your man ** 664 00:41:42,460 --> 00:41:45,463 [ Jerry ] I gotta tell you, Nick, she's so great. 665 00:41:45,463 --> 00:41:49,467 We had so much fun. We talked, we laughed. 666 00:41:49,467 --> 00:41:52,470 Oh, can you hand me oneof those cheese-flavoredpenises? 667 00:41:54,472 --> 00:41:57,475 Gabriella's everythingI've ever wantedin a woman. 668 00:41:57,475 --> 00:42:00,478 I even pierced my earfor her.Make sure it's the right ear. 669 00:42:00,478 --> 00:42:02,480 Of course it's-- 670 00:42:06,484 --> 00:42:10,488 Yeah, I betterlook into that.How was your evening? 671 00:42:10,488 --> 00:42:13,491 Let's just sayI had some bad shellfishand leave it at that. 672 00:42:13,491 --> 00:42:16,494 Hey! Hold on. [ Jerry ] Here she comes. 673 00:42:16,494 --> 00:42:18,496 Grab my ass.What, are you crazy? 674 00:42:18,496 --> 00:42:21,499 I told her I was gay.Now, wet your lips andlook at me lovingly. 675 00:42:21,499 --> 00:42:25,503 - I look like a homo to you?- Yes, an out-of-shape one, but we have those too. 676 00:42:25,503 --> 00:42:28,506 Thank you very much.That's enough. Move it along.Nothing to see here. Bye-bye. 677 00:42:28,506 --> 00:42:31,509 - What do you want me to do, act like I'm gay-- Ow!- Hi, boys! 678 00:42:31,509 --> 00:42:35,513 I don't believe you two have formally been introduced. This is my life partner. 679 00:42:35,513 --> 00:42:38,516 I'm not his life-- Ow!He's a little seasickthis morning. 680 00:42:38,516 --> 00:42:41,519 Maybe he's justa little lovesick.Right! 681 00:42:41,519 --> 00:42:44,522 [ Screaming ] [ Bone Cracks ] 682 00:42:44,522 --> 00:42:46,524 - We're into S&M.- Oh, okay. 683 00:42:46,524 --> 00:42:51,529 Nick, maybe if you feelbetter later, you would liketo come to my new class? 684 00:42:51,529 --> 00:42:53,531 Yeah?It's dirty dancing. 685 00:42:53,531 --> 00:42:57,535 Ooh, dirty dancing. Ooh, so taboo. 686 00:42:57,535 --> 00:43:01,539 What the hell'swrong with you?"He's my life partner!" 687 00:43:01,539 --> 00:43:04,542 You need to keepan open mind.Nick, hey! 688 00:43:06,544 --> 00:43:09,547 It's onlyfor a few days.Quit bugging me. 689 00:43:09,547 --> 00:43:12,550 I'm getting my nuts handedto me on a platter. I wouldn't mind seeing that. 690 00:43:12,550 --> 00:43:14,552 Don't say it! 691 00:43:17,555 --> 00:43:20,558 Why not?'Cause I won't,that's why. 692 00:43:20,558 --> 00:43:24,562 Be a friend.As a friend,you're a wiener. 693 00:43:24,562 --> 00:43:28,566 Now buzz off!I'm trying to concentrateon my workout. 694 00:43:28,566 --> 00:43:31,569 You're not workin' out. 695 00:43:57,595 --> 00:44:00,598 Nick, if you do methis one favor,I promise you I-- 696 00:44:00,598 --> 00:44:02,600 Nick! 697 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,603 Come on. Listen,I'm begging you. 698 00:44:05,804 --> 00:44:08,606 [ Loud Slap ] [ Man ] Aaah! 699 00:44:11,609 --> 00:44:16,614 Maybe I'll skipthe steam.That's a good idea. 700 00:44:16,614 --> 00:44:19,297 Hey. Listen. 701 00:44:19,617 --> 00:44:21,379 After what happenedwith Felicia, 702 00:44:21,619 --> 00:44:24,622 I thought I'd never feelthis way about a girl again. 703 00:44:24,622 --> 00:44:26,624 Why are you makingsuch a big dealabout this girl? 704 00:44:26,624 --> 00:44:29,627 She's a classicman hater!No, no, no! 705 00:44:29,627 --> 00:44:31,629 See, Gabrielladoesn't mean it. 706 00:44:31,629 --> 00:44:35,633 She's just had bad luckwith guys she dates because theyonly wanna have sex with her. 707 00:44:35,633 --> 00:44:37,635 You know the type.[ Mock Laugh ] 708 00:44:37,756 --> 00:44:41,639 Don't ever take sidesagainst the guys! 709 00:44:41,639 --> 00:44:45,643 Nick, I just need a few daysto get to know her, 710 00:44:45,643 --> 00:44:48,646 and then I'll tell her the truth. 711 00:44:52,650 --> 00:44:54,652 Why are you hidingfrom that woman? 712 00:44:54,652 --> 00:44:58,656 Hiding! I'm not hiding.I have a cramp. 713 00:44:58,656 --> 00:45:01,659 Nick, I'm desperate.What if I offeredto pay you? 714 00:45:01,659 --> 00:45:05,663 Pay me!How dare you? 715 00:45:05,663 --> 00:45:09,667 You think I'd sacrificemy dignity, my self-esteem,my whole way of life... 716 00:45:09,667 --> 00:45:11,669 for a few measly dollars? 717 00:45:11,669 --> 00:45:13,671 No!500 cash? 718 00:45:13,671 --> 00:45:15,673 I'll do it! 719 00:45:17,675 --> 00:45:20,678 Come closer.You're too far away.No! 720 00:45:21,679 --> 00:45:24,682 Hey, hey, hey! Beautiful! Very nice,everyone. I love it. 721 00:45:26,684 --> 00:45:28,686 Jerry, you're lighton your feet. 722 00:45:28,686 --> 00:45:31,689 Yeah, this whole placeis light on its feet.Ow! 723 00:45:33,691 --> 00:45:36,694 No, Nick. Your body's too stiff. Listen to me. 724 00:45:36,694 --> 00:45:40,698 Your body, too stiff.I want you to loosen up.Come on. 725 00:45:40,698 --> 00:45:43,701 There you go. Move it.Then go and danceby yourself. 726 00:45:43,701 --> 00:45:46,704 And feel the music, Nick. Feel it. 727 00:45:55,713 --> 00:45:58,716 Feel it. 728 00:46:02,720 --> 00:46:04,722 Hmm. 729 00:46:08,726 --> 00:46:09,727 [ Chuckling ] 730 00:46:19,737 --> 00:46:21,739 Okay, everyone.Change partners. 731 00:46:27,745 --> 00:46:30,748 Cha-cha, cha-cha-cha.We meet again. 732 00:46:30,748 --> 00:46:33,751 I hope that'syour belt buckleI feel back there. 733 00:46:34,472 --> 00:46:36,754 You know,from the moment we met,I felt... 734 00:46:36,754 --> 00:46:38,756 there wasan electrical chargebetween us. 735 00:46:38,756 --> 00:46:42,760 I think your pacemaker'sshortin' out. 736 00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,763 How did you knowI like to be humiliated? 737 00:46:45,763 --> 00:46:48,766 Look, Lloyd,you're barking upthe wrong tree here. 738 00:46:48,766 --> 00:46:51,769 Oh, I know! 739 00:46:51,769 --> 00:46:53,771 You want to lead. 740 00:46:53,771 --> 00:46:56,774 Lloyd, I'm not... 741 00:46:56,774 --> 00:46:58,776 interested. 742 00:46:58,776 --> 00:47:01,779 That's all right.I'm a patient man.I can wait. 743 00:47:03,781 --> 00:47:05,783 I'm also very rich. 744 00:47:05,783 --> 00:47:08,786 You know, I'd liketo spoil you, Nick, 745 00:47:08,786 --> 00:47:11,789 take you placesyou've never been, 746 00:47:11,789 --> 00:47:15,793 show you thingsyou've never seen. 747 00:47:15,793 --> 00:47:17,795 I'd like to--[ Whispering ] 748 00:47:18,796 --> 00:47:20,798 Jerry! 749 00:47:20,798 --> 00:47:23,801 Cha-cha-cha. 750 00:47:24,802 --> 00:47:26,804 That's it. 751 00:47:26,804 --> 00:47:29,807 You're a really gooddance teacher.Really? 752 00:47:29,807 --> 00:47:31,809 Yes.It's fun to teacha class like this. 753 00:47:31,809 --> 00:47:34,812 I always felttoo self-consciousto really... 754 00:47:35,373 --> 00:47:36,814 cut loose, you know? 755 00:47:37,815 --> 00:47:40,818 We have a reviewhere on board. It's likean amateur night thing. 756 00:47:40,818 --> 00:47:42,820 Think you'llbe interested?Too public. 757 00:47:43,821 --> 00:47:45,823 I'm moreof a closet dancer. 758 00:47:45,823 --> 00:47:48,826 That's a shame becauseI'm the choreographer. 759 00:47:48,826 --> 00:47:50,828 Really?Mm-hmm. 760 00:47:50,828 --> 00:47:54,832 Well, for youI might just waltzout of the closet. 761 00:47:55,833 --> 00:47:58,836 You know, it's strange. 762 00:47:58,836 --> 00:48:00,838 What's that? 763 00:48:00,838 --> 00:48:03,841 The way you stare at mesometimes... 764 00:48:03,841 --> 00:48:05,843 or the way you touch me,like that right now, 765 00:48:05,843 --> 00:48:08,846 is exactly the waya straight guy would. 766 00:48:08,846 --> 00:48:10,848 Me? Straight?[ Laughs ] 767 00:48:10,848 --> 00:48:12,850 Girlfriend, please. 768 00:48:12,850 --> 00:48:15,853 Whoo! Nobody's gottateach me how to be gay. 769 00:48:16,854 --> 00:48:18,856 Bette Midleris also known... 770 00:48:19,777 --> 00:48:22,860 as the Divine Miss-- 771 00:48:22,860 --> 00:48:25,863 "M"?Ah, very good! 772 00:48:25,863 --> 00:48:27,865 Very good.Oh, sorry. 773 00:48:28,866 --> 00:48:31,869 Okay, now describethe Brandy Alexanderyou're drinking. 774 00:48:31,869 --> 00:48:33,871 Mmm... refreshing. 775 00:48:33,871 --> 00:48:36,874 No, no, no!It is to die for! 776 00:48:36,874 --> 00:48:40,878 Also acceptableis divine, marvelous, yummy and ooh-la-la. 777 00:48:41,399 --> 00:48:42,880 Got it.Mm-hmm. 778 00:48:44,882 --> 00:48:49,887 [ Both ]* At first I was afraid I was petrified * 779 00:48:49,887 --> 00:48:53,891 * Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side * 780 00:48:53,891 --> 00:48:56,894 * But then I spent so many nights * 781 00:48:56,894 --> 00:48:59,897 * Thinking how you did me wrong * 782 00:48:59,897 --> 00:49:01,899 * Then I grew strong * 783 00:49:01,899 --> 00:49:03,901 * And I learned how to get along * 784 00:49:03,901 --> 00:49:05,903 * And now you're back * 785 00:49:05,903 --> 00:49:07,905 * From outer space * 786 00:49:07,905 --> 00:49:10,908 * I just walked in to see you there with that sad look upon your-- ** 787 00:49:10,908 --> 00:49:13,911 Why you stop singing?Whoo! 788 00:49:13,911 --> 00:49:16,914 Oh, I don't know the words.Aah! 789 00:49:16,914 --> 00:49:21,919 You want to convince peopleyou are gay, and you don't knowthe words to "I Will Survive"? 790 00:49:21,919 --> 00:49:26,924 Singing disco tunes and wearingcalypso outfits is not gonnaconvince Gabriella I'm gay. 791 00:49:26,924 --> 00:49:28,926 Hector, this is stupid. 792 00:49:30,928 --> 00:49:33,931 ** [ Humming "I Will Survive" ] 793 00:49:33,931 --> 00:49:36,934 Are you humming"I Will Survive"?That's right. 794 00:49:36,934 --> 00:49:40,938 And I know all the words.** [ Humming ] 795 00:49:40,938 --> 00:49:43,941 You're looking at melike I'm crazy.I'm not. 796 00:49:43,941 --> 00:49:47,945 You know what?Champagne usuallymakes me act crazy too. 797 00:49:47,945 --> 00:49:50,948 Champagne, ocean air. 798 00:49:50,948 --> 00:49:53,951 Strange thingsmight happen. 799 00:49:53,951 --> 00:49:56,954 I might turn intoa raging heterosexual. 800 00:49:59,957 --> 00:50:02,960 I should be so lucky.Can you imagine? 801 00:50:03,961 --> 00:50:06,964 You know what?Let's get this partyon its feet. Come on. 802 00:50:06,964 --> 00:50:09,967 * I'm feelin' good from my head to my shoes * * Feelin' good * 803 00:50:09,967 --> 00:50:13,971 * Know where I'm going and I know what to do * * Yeah * 804 00:50:13,971 --> 00:50:17,975 * I tidied up my point of view I got a new attitude * 805 00:50:17,975 --> 00:50:20,978 * New attitude, yeah * 806 00:50:20,978 --> 00:50:22,980 * I'm in control and my worries are few * 807 00:50:22,980 --> 00:50:25,983 * 'Cause I've got love like I never knew * 808 00:50:26,664 --> 00:50:28,986 * I got a new-ooh-ooh * 809 00:50:28,986 --> 00:50:30,988 * I got a new attitude ** 810 00:50:37,995 --> 00:50:39,997 Inga, it's me, Nicky. 811 00:50:39,997 --> 00:50:43,000 [ Knocking ] Hurry up. 812 00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,003 Nicky. So Mr. Tonguehas a name. 813 00:50:46,003 --> 00:50:49,006 I'm sorry about what happened.You don't have to hit me.The deed was punishment enough. 814 00:50:50,007 --> 00:50:52,009 Nej, nej, nej. 815 00:50:52,009 --> 00:50:56,013 If we ever hook up again,I want to show you...I can reciprocate. 816 00:50:56,013 --> 00:50:58,015 Reciprocate? 817 00:50:58,015 --> 00:51:00,017 Whoo! Ooh. 818 00:51:00,017 --> 00:51:05,022 - [ Groans ]- [ Grunting ] 819 00:51:12,029 --> 00:51:15,032 * I don't want nobody else but you * 820 00:51:15,032 --> 00:51:19,036 * So let me pull you close Let me love you through and through * 821 00:51:19,036 --> 00:51:22,039 * I don't want nobody else but you * 822 00:51:22,039 --> 00:51:27,044 * It's time to get away and have a tête-à-tête for two * 823 00:51:27,044 --> 00:51:29,046 * Shake, shake shake, shake your body * 824 00:51:29,046 --> 00:51:30,047 * Come on, boy let's have a party * 825 00:51:30,047 --> 00:51:34,051 * Break out the congas and play 'em loud * 826 00:51:34,051 --> 00:51:37,054 * Shake up shake up the party * 827 00:51:37,054 --> 00:51:39,056 * Come on, boy we don't need nobody * 828 00:51:39,056 --> 00:51:42,059 * Together I know we'll tear up the town ** 829 00:51:43,060 --> 00:51:47,064 - Hey, Nick! - Hey, fresh meat. Have a seat, Nick. 830 00:51:47,064 --> 00:51:50,067 We can always usea little extraspending money. 831 00:51:50,067 --> 00:51:53,070 I can use a quiet gameof poker.Sorry I'm late, boys. 832 00:51:53,070 --> 00:51:57,074 Had a little trouble squeezinginto these panty hose. 833 00:51:57,074 --> 00:51:59,076 - So, what's the game?- Five-card stud. 834 00:51:59,076 --> 00:52:02,079 Mm-hmm. Very appropriate.Let's play some cards. 835 00:52:04,081 --> 00:52:06,083 I'm tired, Jerry. 836 00:52:06,083 --> 00:52:10,087 You want somethingto drink?Whoa, whoa. One more. 837 00:52:23,100 --> 00:52:27,104 ** [ Singing In French ] 838 00:52:59,136 --> 00:53:03,140 ** [ French Continues ] 839 00:53:24,161 --> 00:53:26,163 [ Thunder Rumbling ] 840 00:53:26,163 --> 00:53:28,165 Hector. 841 00:53:30,167 --> 00:53:33,170 You've beenon a boat before.Is it safe? 842 00:53:33,170 --> 00:53:36,173 Of course it's safe,as long as youare responsible. 843 00:53:37,174 --> 00:53:40,177 Oh, you mean the storm.That I do not know. 844 00:53:40,177 --> 00:53:43,180 [ Thunderclap ] Whoa! 845 00:53:43,180 --> 00:53:48,185 Let me ask you something.How many cruiseshave you been on? 846 00:53:48,185 --> 00:53:53,150 Including this one?That would make it... one. 847 00:53:53,190 --> 00:53:57,194 You see, I only recentlycome all the way outof the closet. 848 00:53:57,194 --> 00:53:59,196 Recently? Really?Mmm. 849 00:53:59,196 --> 00:54:02,199 - I would figure kindergarten.- No, but let me tell you, it wasn't easy. 850 00:54:02,199 --> 00:54:07,204 But it's better to be true to yourself than to lie to the world. 851 00:54:09,206 --> 00:54:12,209 Must have takena lot of guts.It's funny, you know. 852 00:54:12,209 --> 00:54:15,212 These guysI'm playing poker with--Steven, Tom, Ron. 853 00:54:16,213 --> 00:54:18,215 Steven's a doctor.A gay heart surgeon.Who would have thought? 854 00:54:18,215 --> 00:54:22,219 Ron's a criminal defense attorney. He represents badass dudes. 855 00:54:22,219 --> 00:54:25,222 Tom's a cross-dressing pastry chef. 856 00:54:25,222 --> 00:54:28,225 Okay, I would haveguessed that, but still... 857 00:54:28,225 --> 00:54:31,228 they're a greatbunch of guys. 858 00:54:31,228 --> 00:54:33,230 So what are you saying?What am I saying? 859 00:54:33,230 --> 00:54:38,235 What I'm saying is,I kind of wanted to hang outmore with these guys, 860 00:54:38,235 --> 00:54:42,239 but there was a part of methat felt it was somehow... 861 00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:45,242 wrong to be friendswith gay men. 862 00:54:46,243 --> 00:54:50,247 And that... makes me feellike a jerk. 863 00:54:55,252 --> 00:54:57,254 Sit.Come on. Sit. 864 00:55:00,257 --> 00:55:02,259 [ Sighs ]You know, my papa, 865 00:55:02,259 --> 00:55:06,263 he used to thinkthat to be gaywas muy malo, 866 00:55:06,263 --> 00:55:09,266 a big shame. 867 00:55:10,267 --> 00:55:14,271 He no talk to mefor 20 years, his own blood. 868 00:55:14,271 --> 00:55:17,274 Then when he's sick, he's dying, h-he ask for me, 869 00:55:17,274 --> 00:55:20,277 he say to me,"Hector, 870 00:55:20,277 --> 00:55:23,280 "I waste so much time. 871 00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,282 "We all God's children. 872 00:55:25,282 --> 00:55:27,284 I'm so sorry." 873 00:55:27,284 --> 00:55:30,287 He said, "I'm sorry." 874 00:55:32,289 --> 00:55:34,291 Ooh. 875 00:55:34,291 --> 00:55:36,293 Uh-- 876 00:55:36,293 --> 00:55:40,297 You see, my papi, he like you.He no jerk. 877 00:55:40,297 --> 00:55:43,300 He just need to learn. 878 00:55:44,301 --> 00:55:46,303 You learn too, my friend. 879 00:55:49,306 --> 00:55:51,308 [ Door Closes ] 880 00:55:51,308 --> 00:55:53,310 [ Jerry, Gabriella Laughing ] 881 00:55:53,310 --> 00:55:56,313 Ohh! Ow, I'm hurting. 882 00:55:56,313 --> 00:56:00,317 [ Thunderclap ] Oh, it feels so goodto get off my feet! 883 00:56:01,078 --> 00:56:04,321 Ohh!I couldn't agreewith you more. 884 00:56:06,323 --> 00:56:08,325 You know what? 885 00:56:08,325 --> 00:56:12,329 I've got to get outof these clothes. 886 00:56:12,329 --> 00:56:14,331 I couldn't agreewith you more. 887 00:56:15,332 --> 00:56:18,335 Listen, would you minddoing me a huge, 888 00:56:18,335 --> 00:56:20,337 huge favor? 889 00:56:20,337 --> 00:56:24,341 Would you spendthe night with me?What? 890 00:56:24,341 --> 00:56:26,343 Yeah, you know,it's the storm. 891 00:56:26,343 --> 00:56:30,347 I wouldn't mindcuddling under the coverswith somebody. 892 00:56:30,347 --> 00:56:33,350 You think Nickwould mind? 893 00:56:33,350 --> 00:56:36,153 Oh-- 894 00:56:36,353 --> 00:56:38,355 Fuck Nick. [ Thunderclap ] 895 00:56:38,355 --> 00:56:40,357 Is this stormgettin' worse... 896 00:56:40,357 --> 00:56:44,361 or am I too drunker? 897 00:56:44,361 --> 00:56:47,364 I have a theory. 898 00:56:47,364 --> 00:56:50,367 I thinkif we drank more, 899 00:56:50,367 --> 00:56:52,369 we might be ableto maintainperfect equilibrium. 900 00:56:52,369 --> 00:56:54,371 I'll try that... 901 00:56:54,371 --> 00:56:58,375 in the pursuitof... science. 902 00:56:58,375 --> 00:57:01,378 I'll get usanother round.I have a better idea. 903 00:57:01,378 --> 00:57:05,382 I have a 50-year-old bottle of cognac... 904 00:57:05,382 --> 00:57:07,384 in my room, 905 00:57:07,384 --> 00:57:09,386 and I'm gonna go get it. 906 00:57:09,386 --> 00:57:11,228 I'll go with you. 907 00:57:11,228 --> 00:57:14,391 I could usethe exercise. 908 00:57:14,391 --> 00:57:16,393 All right. 909 00:57:16,393 --> 00:57:19,396 [ Gabriella ] Jerry. We can get up from under the covers. 910 00:57:19,396 --> 00:57:22,399 I think the storm was over, like, half an hour ago. 911 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:27,404 That's one hellof a storm though. 912 00:57:27,404 --> 00:57:30,407 You know what?I have somethingyou're gonna love! 913 00:57:30,407 --> 00:57:34,411 Mmm! Get readyto have an orgasm.What? 914 00:57:36,413 --> 00:57:38,415 Open wide. 915 00:57:40,417 --> 00:57:42,139 Mmm.Good? 916 00:57:42,419 --> 00:57:45,422 - Mm-hmm.- [ Moans, Sighs ] 917 00:57:46,423 --> 00:57:50,427 - Do me.- You're so lucky I'm gay. 918 00:57:54,431 --> 00:57:58,435 Oh! Mmm! 919 00:57:58,435 --> 00:58:01,438 [ Moaning ] 920 00:58:01,438 --> 00:58:04,441 - Can I ask you something?- Shoot. 921 00:58:04,441 --> 00:58:07,444 - How do you do it?- Do what? 922 00:58:07,444 --> 00:58:10,447 - Give head.- What? 923 00:58:10,968 --> 00:58:16,453 A blow job.I mean, do you starton the tip of his penis? 924 00:58:16,453 --> 00:58:18,455 Do you stroke itwhile you use your mouth? 925 00:58:18,455 --> 00:58:22,459 Do you tickle the balls?Not everybody likes that. 926 00:58:22,459 --> 00:58:26,463 As a person whogives them and receives them,you must know the perfect way. 927 00:58:26,463 --> 00:58:28,465 Show me.Oh! Uh-- 928 00:58:28,465 --> 00:58:31,468 What?Uh-- 929 00:58:32,469 --> 00:58:34,471 Okay. 930 00:58:37,474 --> 00:58:39,476 Um-- 931 00:58:40,477 --> 00:58:43,480 Um--[ Chuckles ] 932 00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,483 What?Eh-- You-- 933 00:58:46,483 --> 00:58:50,247 Nothing smaller then? 934 00:58:50,487 --> 00:58:52,329 You know,I got an idea. 935 00:58:52,489 --> 00:58:56,493 Why don't you show meyour technique, and thenI'll critique it? 936 00:58:57,494 --> 00:59:00,497 Okay.Okay. 937 00:59:00,497 --> 00:59:02,499 Okay.Okay. 938 00:59:02,499 --> 00:59:04,501 Yeah. So look. 939 00:59:04,501 --> 00:59:06,503 First, 940 00:59:06,503 --> 00:59:10,507 I slowly lick the tipwith my tongue, right? 941 00:59:10,507 --> 00:59:12,509 Uh-huh. 942 00:59:16,033 --> 00:59:18,515 [ Moans ] 943 00:59:18,515 --> 00:59:20,517 - Right?- That's good. 944 00:59:20,517 --> 00:59:24,521 Then I gently go down the shaft with my lips. 945 00:59:24,521 --> 00:59:27,524 And at the same time, I tickle the balls. 946 00:59:27,524 --> 00:59:30,527 Then I twirl my tongue all the way... 947 00:59:31,528 --> 00:59:33,530 [ Moans ] 948 00:59:34,531 --> 00:59:37,534 back to the top. 949 00:59:37,534 --> 00:59:40,537 Then I wet my lips, 950 00:59:40,537 --> 00:59:42,539 [ Moans ] 951 00:59:42,539 --> 00:59:44,541 I do a littleplayful nibbling... 952 00:59:47,544 --> 00:59:50,547 [ Speaking Spanish ] 953 00:59:51,548 --> 00:59:54,551 [ Spanish ] 954 00:59:55,552 --> 00:59:57,554 How's that? 955 00:59:57,554 --> 01:00:00,557 - Jerry?- That's fine! 956 01:00:00,557 --> 01:00:02,519 [ Foghorn Bellows ] 957 01:00:05,562 --> 01:00:09,566 For goodness sake, Lloyd,at least kiss me first. 958 01:00:09,566 --> 01:00:11,568 [ Laughing ]No, you didn't. 959 01:00:11,568 --> 01:00:15,572 Oh, yes, I did. 960 01:00:15,572 --> 01:00:18,575 Oh, now where didI put that bag? 961 01:00:18,575 --> 01:00:20,577 I'm just gonna lay down. 962 01:00:21,578 --> 01:00:22,579 [ Snores ] 963 01:00:25,582 --> 01:00:27,584 [ Groans ]Got it. 964 01:00:28,585 --> 01:00:30,587 [ Snoring ] 965 01:00:30,587 --> 01:00:33,590 Now, before we go back upwith the boys, 966 01:00:33,590 --> 01:00:36,593 what do you saywe do a couple of shots? 967 01:00:36,593 --> 01:00:40,597 [ Giggling ]You're a goddamn genius. 968 01:00:40,597 --> 01:00:43,600 Here you go. 969 01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:45,602 Oh.[ Scoffs ] 970 01:00:55,612 --> 01:00:57,614 [ Snoring ] 971 01:01:28,645 --> 01:01:31,208 [ Moans ] 972 01:01:37,654 --> 01:01:39,656 [ Screaming ]Oh, 973 01:01:39,656 --> 01:01:42,659 my... God! 974 01:01:42,659 --> 01:01:45,662 Aaah! 975 01:01:52,669 --> 01:01:54,671 What are you doing? 976 01:01:54,671 --> 01:01:58,675 I have a horribletaste in my mouth,and I can't get rid of it. 977 01:01:58,675 --> 01:02:00,677 What, did youeat something weird? 978 01:02:00,677 --> 01:02:02,679 Yeah.Oh-- 979 01:02:02,679 --> 01:02:05,682 I did a bad,bad thing, Jerry.What? 980 01:02:05,682 --> 01:02:07,684 You know how the sea airmakes you disoriented, 981 01:02:07,684 --> 01:02:10,687 and I was blitzedfrom the drinkingand the partying, and I-I-- 982 01:02:10,687 --> 01:02:13,690 I slept with a man, Jerry. 983 01:02:13,690 --> 01:02:15,692 Very funny. 984 01:02:15,692 --> 01:02:18,695 No, it's not. 985 01:02:18,695 --> 01:02:21,698 I just woke upin Ron's state room...with Ron. 986 01:02:21,698 --> 01:02:23,700 What? 987 01:02:24,701 --> 01:02:27,704 I've chased a lotof women, Jerry. 988 01:02:27,704 --> 01:02:29,706 But to be honest, 989 01:02:29,706 --> 01:02:32,709 I've never actuallyscored with one sinceI was a senior in high school, 990 01:02:32,709 --> 01:02:35,712 and then I had to promiseto marry her. 991 01:02:35,712 --> 01:02:38,715 A 51-year-oldcoffee shop waitress... 992 01:02:38,715 --> 01:02:41,718 and stroke victim... 993 01:02:41,718 --> 01:02:43,720 with a fake leg... 994 01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:45,722 and a lazy eye... 995 01:02:45,722 --> 01:02:47,724 and a mole with teeth--I-I got it. 996 01:02:47,724 --> 01:02:50,727 What I'm trying to say is, 997 01:02:50,727 --> 01:02:53,730 maybe I'm meant to do morethan just play cardswith these guys, Jerry. 998 01:02:53,730 --> 01:02:56,733 [ Scoffs ]I'm finally happy. 999 01:02:57,734 --> 01:02:59,736 I'm so happy. 1000 01:02:59,736 --> 01:03:01,738 I'm gay. 1001 01:03:01,738 --> 01:03:04,741 [ Gabriella ] One, two, three, 1002 01:03:04,741 --> 01:03:07,744 four, five, six, 1003 01:03:07,744 --> 01:03:09,746 seven, eight. 1004 01:03:10,267 --> 01:03:13,750 And one, two,three, four, 1005 01:03:13,750 --> 01:03:15,752 five, six, seven, eight. 1006 01:03:15,752 --> 01:03:17,754 Good. Good work, guys. 1007 01:03:17,754 --> 01:03:20,757 Good work. Hector, try notshaking your ass so much. 1008 01:03:20,757 --> 01:03:23,760 You mean in the danceor in real life? 1009 01:03:24,761 --> 01:03:26,763 Okay, guys, thank youso much for coming. 1010 01:03:26,763 --> 01:03:29,766 I'll see you back heretonight at 11:00. 1011 01:03:29,766 --> 01:03:31,768 Jerry, you arelooking fierce up there. 1012 01:03:31,768 --> 01:03:34,771 Oh-- [ Laughing ] 1013 01:03:34,771 --> 01:03:36,773 I can't rememberwhen I've had this much fun. 1014 01:03:36,773 --> 01:03:39,776 You know, you are just great. 1015 01:03:39,776 --> 01:03:42,259 Hey, 1016 01:03:42,779 --> 01:03:44,781 are you gonna goto the island?I am. 1017 01:03:44,781 --> 01:03:47,784 Do you want meto be your tour guide?I know the island very well. 1018 01:03:47,784 --> 01:03:49,786 That would be yummy. 1019 01:03:49,786 --> 01:03:52,789 Yummy?Uh, let's go. 1020 01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,803 Nicholas, I was beginningto wonder about you. 1021 01:04:06,803 --> 01:04:09,806 I'm glad to see that youfinally got that luscious, 1022 01:04:09,806 --> 01:04:13,810 full-figured frame of yoursin the right dinghy. 1023 01:04:13,810 --> 01:04:16,813 It's amazing.A day ago, I would haveseriously thought about... 1024 01:04:16,813 --> 01:04:18,815 punching youin the face for sayingsomething like that. 1025 01:04:19,816 --> 01:04:22,819 This place is paradise.Oh, yeah. We're gonnahave an awesome time. 1026 01:04:22,819 --> 01:04:26,823 I'll say. I can alreadyfeel the men around hereundressing me with their eyes. 1027 01:04:26,823 --> 01:04:29,826 You hungry? You wantto get something to eat?Nope. I have a better idea. 1028 01:04:29,826 --> 01:04:33,830 Let's go exploring first.Great. 1029 01:04:33,830 --> 01:04:36,833 Daddy, thanks so muchfor finding out whereJerry is for me. 1030 01:04:36,833 --> 01:04:38,835 Yeah, I'm sure thingsare gonna work out too. 1031 01:04:38,835 --> 01:04:40,998 Bye-bye. Love you, Daddy. 1032 01:04:41,838 --> 01:04:43,840 How do I getto the Olympia Voyager? Right this way, madam. 1033 01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:46,843 Be careful with those bags.They're worth morethan you make in a year. 1034 01:04:46,843 --> 01:04:48,845 [ Chuckling ]Bon voyage. 1035 01:04:48,845 --> 01:04:50,847 Bitch. 1036 01:04:52,849 --> 01:04:54,851 Hey, Nick.How ya doin'? 1037 01:04:54,851 --> 01:04:57,854 Hey, fine.I'm not sore or anything. 1038 01:04:57,854 --> 01:04:59,856 Hey, buddy,about last night, 1039 01:04:59,856 --> 01:05:01,858 I understand why it happened. 1040 01:05:02,859 --> 01:05:03,860 I mean, uh,I'm pretty charismatic, 1041 01:05:03,860 --> 01:05:06,863 and if the moon hits mein just the right way, 1042 01:05:06,863 --> 01:05:08,865 I can lookpretty damn tasty. 1043 01:05:08,865 --> 01:05:10,867 You know, you're okay too, 1044 01:05:10,867 --> 01:05:13,870 but, uh, I'd just reallyrather we stay friends. 1045 01:05:13,870 --> 01:05:16,873 All right. Me too, Nick. 1046 01:05:16,873 --> 01:05:18,875 Yeah? Wow.Yeah. 1047 01:05:18,875 --> 01:05:21,878 If I would have said thatto a chick, she'd bea total mess right now. 1048 01:05:22,359 --> 01:05:24,881 I'm starting to see the upsideto this whole thing. [ Marching ] 1049 01:05:24,881 --> 01:05:27,884 If you do what Sonya says--one, two, three, four. 1050 01:05:27,884 --> 01:05:31,888 Woke up with no tanning cream,now you're off the tanning team. 1051 01:05:31,888 --> 01:05:33,890 One, two, three, four--Coach, 1052 01:05:33,890 --> 01:05:35,892 look, it'sthe Hawaiian Tropic team. 1053 01:05:42,899 --> 01:05:44,901 [ Swedish ] 1054 01:05:51,908 --> 01:05:54,911 [ Man ] Hey, break it up, ladies. Come on. Move. 1055 01:05:54,911 --> 01:05:56,913 Come on. Take it easy. 1056 01:05:56,913 --> 01:06:00,917 [ Whistles ]Break it up. Break it up. 1057 01:06:00,917 --> 01:06:02,919 Save it forthe tanning competition. 1058 01:06:02,919 --> 01:06:06,923 Bad! You are bad!Everybody move out now! 1059 01:06:13,930 --> 01:06:15,932 Okay, girls, get yourheinies on the donkeys... 1060 01:06:15,932 --> 01:06:17,934 now! 1061 01:06:18,935 --> 01:06:21,938 Nick? 1062 01:06:21,938 --> 01:06:25,942 I just wanted to say good-bye.I'm going to the airport now. 1063 01:06:25,942 --> 01:06:28,945 Inga, it was greatalmost knowing you. 1064 01:06:28,945 --> 01:06:31,948 Nick, if you're ever nearGettzemüllersteigen, Sweden, 1065 01:06:31,948 --> 01:06:33,950 I would love to see you again. 1066 01:06:33,950 --> 01:06:35,952 I don't think so, baby. 1067 01:06:35,952 --> 01:06:37,954 I don't thinkthis is gonna work out. 1068 01:06:37,954 --> 01:06:41,958 But I thoughtyou liked me, Nick. 1069 01:06:41,958 --> 01:06:43,960 I'm confused. 1070 01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:46,963 [ Sighs ]So am I.You don't even know. 1071 01:06:46,963 --> 01:06:49,966 You better hurry. You have an ass to catch. 1072 01:06:49,966 --> 01:06:52,008 [ Sniffling ] 1073 01:06:52,969 --> 01:06:55,972 And you?Huh. Hey. 1074 01:06:58,975 --> 01:07:00,977 [ Sonya ] And we go. 1075 01:07:02,979 --> 01:07:05,982 Oh, that feels good. 1076 01:07:06,983 --> 01:07:10,987 Hey, Nick.About last night, 1077 01:07:10,987 --> 01:07:13,990 you don't think anythinghappened, do you? 1078 01:07:13,990 --> 01:07:15,992 What do you think happened? 1079 01:07:15,992 --> 01:07:19,996 Nothing.You and I drank too muchand then fell asleep. 1080 01:07:19,996 --> 01:07:22,999 Are you sure?Yeah. 1081 01:07:22,999 --> 01:07:26,002 Inga! 1082 01:07:26,002 --> 01:07:30,006 [ Cackling ]Inga! 1083 01:07:30,006 --> 01:07:32,008 Well, I think we lostthat one forever. 1084 01:07:32,008 --> 01:07:34,010 A lot of potentialin that boy. 1085 01:07:34,010 --> 01:07:37,013 Could have beenone of the great ones. 1086 01:07:37,013 --> 01:07:40,016 I saw in himwhat I saw in Elton John.Mmm. 1087 01:07:49,025 --> 01:07:52,028 Had your vitamin C today? 1088 01:07:52,028 --> 01:07:56,032 You know, you really make me laugh. 1089 01:07:57,033 --> 01:08:00,036 Mmm. 1090 01:08:01,037 --> 01:08:04,040 I'm so glad we met.[ Gasps ] 1091 01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:06,042 Mm-hmm. 1092 01:08:06,042 --> 01:08:10,046 You know,it really is a shame... 1093 01:08:10,046 --> 01:08:12,048 to let this placego to waste. 1094 01:08:12,048 --> 01:08:16,052 Just a friendly kiss.Mmm. 1095 01:08:16,052 --> 01:08:18,054 [ Moaning ] 1096 01:08:20,056 --> 01:08:22,058 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1097 01:08:22,058 --> 01:08:25,061 Jerry, I don't want to feellike I am pressuring you... 1098 01:08:25,061 --> 01:08:27,063 into doing somethingyou don't want to do. 1099 01:08:27,063 --> 01:08:29,065 Oh, I want to do thisvery badly. 1100 01:08:29,065 --> 01:08:32,068 Really?Yes. 1101 01:08:32,068 --> 01:08:35,071 Okay.So, let me be your guide. 1102 01:08:35,071 --> 01:08:38,074 And I promise, I'm gonna--I'm gonna be gentle. 1103 01:08:38,074 --> 01:08:40,076 I'm gonna be patient. 1104 01:08:40,076 --> 01:08:44,080 And I'm gonna take itvery, very slowly. 1105 01:08:44,080 --> 01:08:46,082 - Great.- [ Screams ] 1106 01:08:46,082 --> 01:08:49,085 [ Gasping ] 1107 01:08:49,085 --> 01:08:52,088 Ooh! 1108 01:08:52,088 --> 01:08:55,091 [ Moaning ] 1109 01:08:55,091 --> 01:08:58,094 * As I'm kissing you * 1110 01:09:00,096 --> 01:09:04,100 * As I'm kissing you * [ Gabriella Moaning ] 1111 01:09:04,100 --> 01:09:08,104 * As I'm kissing you * 1112 01:09:10,106 --> 01:09:14,110 * Are you ready to catch me I'm fallin' in love ** 1113 01:09:14,110 --> 01:09:16,112 Jerry, Jerry, 1114 01:09:16,112 --> 01:09:20,116 you're a really quick study. 1115 01:09:20,116 --> 01:09:22,118 That's enough foreplay. 1116 01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:28,124 Excuse me. Could you ringJerry Robinson's room, please? 1117 01:09:28,124 --> 01:09:30,126 Certainly. 1118 01:09:34,130 --> 01:09:38,134 [ Chuckles ][ Ringing ] 1119 01:09:38,134 --> 01:09:40,136 No one seemsto be answering, ma'am. 1120 01:09:40,136 --> 01:09:42,138 Oh-- Could yougive me his room number? 1121 01:09:42,138 --> 01:09:44,140 I'm sorry. We're not allowedto divulge that information. 1122 01:09:44,381 --> 01:09:47,143 Would you liketo leave a message? 1123 01:09:47,143 --> 01:09:50,146 No, thanks.I want to surprise him. 1124 01:09:52,148 --> 01:09:54,791 Thank you. 1125 01:09:59,996 --> 01:10:02,078 [ Scoffs ] 1126 01:10:04,160 --> 01:10:08,164 Want to have dinnerwith me tonight? 1127 01:10:08,164 --> 01:10:12,168 No.Why not? 1128 01:10:12,168 --> 01:10:17,173 Because I'm fallingin love with you. 1129 01:10:17,173 --> 01:10:19,536 You are? 1130 01:10:20,176 --> 01:10:21,578 Yes, I am. 1131 01:10:22,178 --> 01:10:23,660 And out of all the dumb, 1132 01:10:24,180 --> 01:10:26,182 boneheaded romantic movesI've made over the years, 1133 01:10:26,182 --> 01:10:28,184 you see, this will bethe dumbest. 1134 01:10:28,184 --> 01:10:31,187 No-No-No. Wait, Gabriella.This-This could work. 1135 01:10:31,187 --> 01:10:33,189 How do you thinkthis is gonna work? 1136 01:10:33,189 --> 01:10:35,191 I can't make you intosomething you're not, Jerry. 1137 01:10:35,191 --> 01:10:38,194 I do that with every man I fall for, 1138 01:10:38,194 --> 01:10:40,196 and it has to stop. 1139 01:10:42,198 --> 01:10:46,202 Besides, you alreadyhave someone.No, I don't. 1140 01:10:46,202 --> 01:10:49,205 What about Nick? 1141 01:10:49,205 --> 01:10:51,207 Uh-- 1142 01:10:52,208 --> 01:10:55,211 That's just... physical. 1143 01:10:55,211 --> 01:10:59,215 Listen. I have to acceptwho you really are. 1144 01:10:59,215 --> 01:11:02,218 I really want to bealone right now. 1145 01:11:19,235 --> 01:11:21,237 [ Squeals ] 1146 01:11:36,252 --> 01:11:38,254 [ Clears Throat ]Hi. 1147 01:11:38,254 --> 01:11:41,137 Hi. 1148 01:11:41,257 --> 01:11:43,259 It's kind of niceseeing another womanon board. 1149 01:11:43,259 --> 01:11:45,261 Oh, tell me about it. 1150 01:11:45,261 --> 01:11:47,263 All I've seen are men,most of them gay. 1151 01:11:47,263 --> 01:11:49,265 Well, it is a gay cruise. 1152 01:11:49,265 --> 01:11:52,268 [ Sighs ] 1153 01:11:52,349 --> 01:11:55,271 - What'd you just say?- You didn't know? 1154 01:11:55,271 --> 01:11:59,275 No. I came on board to get back together with my boyfriend. 1155 01:11:59,275 --> 01:12:03,279 I don't get it.Why in the worldwould he be on a g-- 1156 01:12:03,279 --> 01:12:06,282 [ Elevator Dings ] 1157 01:12:07,283 --> 01:12:09,285 Good luck. 1158 01:12:09,285 --> 01:12:11,287 Thanks. 1159 01:12:12,288 --> 01:12:15,291 Hector! Ooh-- 1160 01:12:15,291 --> 01:12:17,293 [ Crash ] 1161 01:12:17,293 --> 01:12:20,296 Have you seen Gabriella?No, I've been lookingfor her myself. 1162 01:12:20,296 --> 01:12:23,299 Everything is falling apart.The music is not ready-- 1163 01:12:23,299 --> 01:12:27,303 Victor, the lead dancer,is seasick. 1164 01:12:27,303 --> 01:12:30,306 And look at my costume.Huh? It hangs. 1165 01:12:30,306 --> 01:12:32,308 It's supposed to drape. 1166 01:12:32,308 --> 01:12:35,311 Okay. If you see Gabriella,could you give her this messagefor me, please? 1167 01:12:35,311 --> 01:12:37,313 [ Screams ] 1168 01:12:37,313 --> 01:12:40,316 How could Ihave been so blind? 1169 01:12:40,316 --> 01:12:42,318 I mean, the signs wereright in front of my eyes. 1170 01:12:42,318 --> 01:12:45,321 [ Hiccups ]Foreign films, 1171 01:12:45,321 --> 01:12:47,323 Rabbit convertible, 1172 01:12:47,323 --> 01:12:51,327 gourmet mustards-- 1173 01:12:51,327 --> 01:12:53,329 Wait. 1174 01:12:53,329 --> 01:12:56,332 Maybe he's only curious. 1175 01:12:56,332 --> 01:12:59,335 I mean, there was that one timewhen I was in college, 1176 01:12:59,335 --> 01:13:02,338 my roommate Bianca and I,we shared a Jacuzzi. 1177 01:13:02,338 --> 01:13:06,342 [ Chuckling ]Whoa. Now that gotkind of hot. 1178 01:13:08,344 --> 01:13:11,347 Oh. 1179 01:13:11,347 --> 01:13:14,350 I got to go, Bob.Keep the change.Thanks. 1180 01:13:17,353 --> 01:13:19,355 Think twice before you-- 1181 01:13:19,355 --> 01:13:23,359 * Blow the man down * 1182 01:13:23,359 --> 01:13:25,361 [ Hector ] Woo-hoo-hoo! Thank you. 1183 01:13:25,361 --> 01:13:29,365 Okay. Get everybodyready for the next number.They have less than a minute. 1184 01:13:31,367 --> 01:13:34,370 What? 1185 01:13:34,370 --> 01:13:37,373 Nobody told me Victorwas too sick to dance.Who's gonna be the lead? 1186 01:13:37,373 --> 01:13:41,377 * I'm comin' * 1187 01:13:41,377 --> 01:13:43,379 * Comin' out * 1188 01:13:45,381 --> 01:13:49,385 * I'm comin' * I'm comin'... 1189 01:13:49,385 --> 01:13:51,387 * Out * out. 1190 01:13:51,387 --> 01:13:53,389 Oh, my God. 1191 01:13:53,389 --> 01:13:56,392 [ Lip-synching ] * I'm comin' out * 1192 01:13:56,392 --> 01:14:01,397 * I want the world to know Got to let it show * 1193 01:14:01,397 --> 01:14:04,400 * I'm comin' out * 1194 01:14:04,400 --> 01:14:08,404 * I want the world to know Got to let it show * 1195 01:14:09,405 --> 01:14:13,409 * I'm comin' * 1196 01:14:14,410 --> 01:14:16,412 * Out * 1197 01:14:17,413 --> 01:14:19,415 * There's a new me comin' out * 1198 01:14:19,415 --> 01:14:22,418 * And I just have to live And I just wanna give * 1199 01:14:23,139 --> 01:14:25,421 * I'm completely positive * 1200 01:14:25,421 --> 01:14:27,423 * I think this time around * 1201 01:14:27,423 --> 01:14:31,427 * I am gonna do it like you never knew it * 1202 01:14:31,427 --> 01:14:33,429 * Oh, I'll make it through * 1203 01:14:33,429 --> 01:14:37,433 * The time has come for me to break out of this shell * 1204 01:14:37,433 --> 01:14:41,437 * I have to shout that I am comin' out * 1205 01:14:41,437 --> 01:14:44,440 * I'm comin' out * * Oh, yeah * 1206 01:14:44,440 --> 01:14:46,442 * I want the world to know * 1207 01:14:46,442 --> 01:14:49,445 * Got to let it show * 1208 01:14:49,445 --> 01:14:51,447 * Oh, I'm comin' out * 1209 01:14:51,447 --> 01:14:54,450 * Comin' out * * I want the world to know * 1210 01:14:54,450 --> 01:14:57,453 * Got to let it show * * Oh, yeah * 1211 01:14:57,453 --> 01:15:00,456 * I'm comin' * 1212 01:15:00,456 --> 01:15:02,458 * Out * 1213 01:15:03,459 --> 01:15:05,461 Oh. 1214 01:15:05,461 --> 01:15:08,464 * I'm comin' out * * Comin' * 1215 01:15:08,464 --> 01:15:10,466 * I want the world to know * * Out * 1216 01:15:10,466 --> 01:15:12,468 * Got to let it show * 1217 01:15:12,468 --> 01:15:15,471 * Woo-oo, I'm * * I'm comin' out * 1218 01:15:15,471 --> 01:15:16,472 * Comin' * 1219 01:15:16,472 --> 01:15:18,474 * I want the world to know * * Out * 1220 01:15:18,474 --> 01:15:20,476 * Got to let it show * 1221 01:15:21,477 --> 01:15:23,960 * Comin' out * * I'm comin' out * 1222 01:15:24,480 --> 01:15:26,042 * Comin' * * I want the world to know * 1223 01:15:26,482 --> 01:15:28,484 * Out * * Got to let it show * 1224 01:15:29,485 --> 01:15:31,487 * I'm * * I'm comin' out * 1225 01:15:31,487 --> 01:15:33,489 * Comin' * * I want the world to know * 1226 01:15:33,489 --> 01:15:37,493 * Out * * Got to let it show ** 1227 01:15:42,498 --> 01:15:44,500 Cocksucker! 1228 01:15:44,500 --> 01:15:47,503 Felicia. 1229 01:15:48,625 --> 01:15:51,507 I was talkin' to him. 1230 01:15:51,507 --> 01:15:53,509 Bu-- 1231 01:15:53,509 --> 01:15:55,511 [ Crying ] [ Jerry ] Felicia! 1232 01:15:57,513 --> 01:16:00,516 Felicia, what are youdoing here? 1233 01:16:00,516 --> 01:16:02,518 Don't even talk to me.I feel so humiliated. 1234 01:16:02,518 --> 01:16:04,520 Oh.Well, how did you find me? 1235 01:16:04,520 --> 01:16:07,523 What were you thinking aboutwhen we were making love--cabana boys? 1236 01:16:07,523 --> 01:16:12,528 Hey, hey-- I am not gay.And to think, I wantedto be your wife! 1237 01:16:12,528 --> 01:16:15,531 What? 1238 01:16:15,531 --> 01:16:17,533 I really missed you, Jerry. 1239 01:16:17,533 --> 01:16:19,535 All the special times we had--we complimented each other. 1240 01:16:19,535 --> 01:16:22,538 We could have builta life together. 1241 01:16:22,538 --> 01:16:24,540 Built a life together?Yes. 1242 01:16:24,540 --> 01:16:27,543 Well, what about Andre,the buffer boy? 1243 01:16:27,543 --> 01:16:29,545 It was just a fling.Oh-- 1244 01:16:29,545 --> 01:16:31,547 A horrible, thoughtless,insensitive mistake.Eh-- 1245 01:16:31,547 --> 01:16:34,550 But he showed me whatI really wanted--Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 1246 01:16:34,550 --> 01:16:37,553 A stable, decent man who willalways be there for me. 1247 01:16:37,553 --> 01:16:40,556 And I thought that that was you. 1248 01:16:40,556 --> 01:16:42,558 [ Sighs ]What are you saying?You want to get back together? 1249 01:16:42,558 --> 01:16:46,562 Well, I did... beforeI found out that you were gay. 1250 01:16:48,564 --> 01:16:50,566 How could you think I'm gay? 1251 01:16:50,566 --> 01:16:53,569 You're standing there preeninglike a gay peacock, 1252 01:16:53,569 --> 01:16:55,571 and you don't want meto think you're tutti-frutti? 1253 01:16:55,571 --> 01:16:58,574 For heaven's sake, Felicia! 1254 01:16:58,574 --> 01:17:01,577 I am not gay,and I never have been gay. 1255 01:17:01,577 --> 01:17:03,579 Then why the hellare you on this boat? 1256 01:17:03,579 --> 01:17:07,583 Nick-- Nick and I got on this cruise by mistake. 1257 01:17:07,583 --> 01:17:11,587 And then I met this girl, and she assumed I was gay. 1258 01:17:11,587 --> 01:17:14,590 And then I stupidlywent along with it because-- 1259 01:17:14,590 --> 01:17:17,593 She's behind me, isn't she? 1260 01:17:17,593 --> 01:17:19,595 [ Sighs ] 1261 01:17:19,595 --> 01:17:21,597 [ Groans ] 1262 01:17:23,599 --> 01:17:26,602 How could you? 1263 01:17:26,602 --> 01:17:28,604 Gabriella, I'm sorry. 1264 01:17:28,725 --> 01:17:31,607 - I tried to tell you.- You're an asshole, Jerry. 1265 01:17:31,848 --> 01:17:34,610 [ Sighs ]I-- Ow! 1266 01:17:34,610 --> 01:17:36,612 [ Squeals ] [ Felicia ] Oh, oh-- 1267 01:17:36,612 --> 01:17:39,615 Oh! Oh, oh.Not again! 1268 01:17:39,615 --> 01:17:42,618 Oh. 1269 01:17:43,619 --> 01:17:46,622 That was the girlI was talking about. 1270 01:17:46,622 --> 01:17:50,626 Well, looks likeyou had a dumb fling yourself. 1271 01:17:50,626 --> 01:17:53,629 I tell you what,if you can forgive me, 1272 01:17:53,629 --> 01:17:55,631 I can certainly forgive you. 1273 01:17:55,631 --> 01:17:59,635 And we can get married just like you always wanted, Jerry. 1274 01:17:59,635 --> 01:18:02,638 Oh, I love you, baby. 1275 01:18:02,638 --> 01:18:04,640 What do you say? 1276 01:18:05,641 --> 01:18:08,644 [ Man ] Great. Now one of the bride and groom... 1277 01:18:08,644 --> 01:18:12,128 staring at each other lovingly. 1278 01:18:12,648 --> 01:18:15,651 You look so beautiful.Thank you. 1279 01:18:15,651 --> 01:18:18,654 Why don't we bothlook beautiful? 1280 01:18:18,654 --> 01:18:21,657 [ Whispering ]Take out that earring. 1281 01:18:21,657 --> 01:18:23,659 [ Jerry ]Felicia is good for me. 1282 01:18:27,663 --> 01:18:31,667 She planned this entire weddingall by herself. 1283 01:18:32,668 --> 01:18:36,672 Got me a great jobwith her father. 1284 01:18:36,672 --> 01:18:39,675 Got us a new apartment,picked out all the linensand plates. 1285 01:18:39,675 --> 01:18:41,677 And as our wedding gift, 1286 01:18:41,677 --> 01:18:44,680 she gave mean entire new wardrobe. 1287 01:18:44,680 --> 01:18:46,682 Hmm. 1288 01:18:46,682 --> 01:18:49,685 Yep, the only decisionI have left to makefor the rest of my life... 1289 01:18:49,685 --> 01:18:52,688 is whether I want to beburied or cremated. 1290 01:18:52,688 --> 01:18:55,611 No, no, I take that back. 1291 01:18:55,691 --> 01:18:57,693 We're being buried side by side.She told me this morning. 1292 01:19:16,712 --> 01:19:18,714 Hey, Jerry,I'm sorry I'm late. 1293 01:19:18,714 --> 01:19:21,717 I had a little bit ofa personal crisis this morning. 1294 01:19:21,717 --> 01:19:23,719 Is everythingall right, Pastor?Oh, fine. Fine. 1295 01:19:23,719 --> 01:19:26,722 Just, uh, had a few personalissues I had to clarify, but-- 1296 01:19:26,722 --> 01:19:28,724 Hey, it's your big day.Nothing's gonna spoil it. 1297 01:19:28,724 --> 01:19:30,726 Glad to see youfinally made it, Reverend. 1298 01:19:30,726 --> 01:19:33,729 I've got a string quartetback at the Hyatt about togo into golden time. 1299 01:19:34,730 --> 01:19:36,732 Congratulations, sir.Thank you. 1300 01:19:37,733 --> 01:19:39,735 Friends of yours?Yes, sir. 1301 01:19:39,735 --> 01:19:41,737 I met them on the cruise.Oh. 1302 01:19:41,737 --> 01:19:43,900 So you accidentally hoppedaboard the Guy-tanic too, huh? 1303 01:19:44,740 --> 01:19:46,742 How's it goin'? 1304 01:19:46,742 --> 01:19:48,744 I guess not. 1305 01:19:48,744 --> 01:19:52,748 Jerry, I'm gonna keepmy eye on you. 1306 01:19:52,748 --> 01:19:54,750 What's up, guys? Hey, come here. 1307 01:19:54,750 --> 01:19:56,752 It's important.You're not gonna believe this. 1308 01:19:56,752 --> 01:19:58,754 [ Whispering, Indistinct ] 1309 01:19:58,754 --> 01:20:02,678 There is no more sacred contractthan the bond of marriage... 1310 01:20:02,758 --> 01:20:04,760 and no more spiritual union... 1311 01:20:04,760 --> 01:20:08,764 than that between a man and a woman. 1312 01:20:08,764 --> 01:20:11,767 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today... 1313 01:20:11,767 --> 01:20:13,769 to bring this man and this woman... 1314 01:20:13,769 --> 01:20:17,773 together in the eyes of-- 1315 01:20:19,775 --> 01:20:21,777 In the eyes of, uh-- 1316 01:20:21,777 --> 01:20:24,780 - God?- God. 1317 01:20:24,780 --> 01:20:26,782 Yeah, yeah.That's what you say. 1318 01:20:26,782 --> 01:20:28,784 No, that's what you say. 1319 01:20:28,784 --> 01:20:30,786 Yeah, yeah. Well, I used to until recently. 1320 01:20:30,786 --> 01:20:33,789 I mean, uh, if therereally was a God, 1321 01:20:33,789 --> 01:20:35,791 would he allow my wife to run off with a contractor... 1322 01:20:35,791 --> 01:20:37,793 who overcharged mefor a bay window? 1323 01:20:37,793 --> 01:20:41,797 But that's my problem. That's my problem. I'm sorry. It's your day. Where was I? 1324 01:20:41,797 --> 01:20:45,801 Um, a happy marriage isthe perfect human relationship, 1325 01:20:45,801 --> 01:20:48,804 a setting in which each partner feels free... 1326 01:20:48,804 --> 01:20:53,809 to be as he or she is under God's bountiful nature. 1327 01:20:53,809 --> 01:20:56,812 That same nature that allowedthe number-five horseat Pimlico... 1328 01:20:56,812 --> 01:20:59,815 - to screw me in a photo finish.- [ Clears Throat ] 1329 01:20:59,815 --> 01:21:01,817 I'm sorry. Where was I? Ah, yeah, yeah. 1330 01:21:01,817 --> 01:21:04,820 Um-- Oh-- So if thereis anyone present who feelsthere's a reason... 1331 01:21:04,820 --> 01:21:08,824 that these two people should not be joined together in holy matrimony, 1332 01:21:08,824 --> 01:21:11,827 let them speak nowor forever hold their peace. 1333 01:21:17,833 --> 01:21:18,834 [ Minister ] Okay, fine. 1334 01:21:19,835 --> 01:21:22,838 Jerry, then, if there is noobjection, turn to Feliciaand repeat after me. 1335 01:21:24,840 --> 01:21:27,843 I, Jerry, take you Felicia... 1336 01:21:27,843 --> 01:21:30,286 to be my lawful wedded-- Stop. Wait, wait! 1337 01:21:30,846 --> 01:21:32,848 [ Nick ] Time out! Time out! 1338 01:21:32,848 --> 01:21:34,850 Nick, what are you doing? 1339 01:21:34,850 --> 01:21:36,852 I have to say something. 1340 01:21:36,852 --> 01:21:39,855 If I didn't speak now,I could never live with myself. 1341 01:21:39,855 --> 01:21:44,860 A couple weeks ago, Jerry and I took a cruise together. 1342 01:21:44,860 --> 01:21:47,863 It wasn't the cruise we intended to take, but... 1343 01:21:47,863 --> 01:21:49,865 it was a good thingwe got on the wrong boat,because... 1344 01:21:50,866 --> 01:21:52,868 it changed our lives forever. 1345 01:21:52,868 --> 01:21:54,870 Jerry, if you marryFelicia today, 1346 01:21:54,991 --> 01:21:57,873 it will end up in disaster. 1347 01:21:57,873 --> 01:22:01,877 You need to be with the person you fell in love with on that boat. 1348 01:22:02,878 --> 01:22:04,880 And I know it, 1349 01:22:04,880 --> 01:22:07,883 because that person... 1350 01:22:07,883 --> 01:22:09,885 is me.Hmm? 1351 01:22:09,885 --> 01:22:13,889 Oh, oh![ Screams ] 1352 01:22:13,889 --> 01:22:15,891 How much of that potdid you smoke? 1353 01:22:15,891 --> 01:22:18,894 I know where Gabriella is.If we hurry, we can catch her. 1354 01:22:18,894 --> 01:22:21,897 Jerry, what the hellis wrong with you? 1355 01:22:21,897 --> 01:22:24,900 You can't humiliate melike this in frontof my family and my friends! 1356 01:22:24,900 --> 01:22:27,903 My dad is gonna kill you!Come on, Rocco! 1357 01:22:27,903 --> 01:22:30,906 - Come on, boy. - Daddy! 1358 01:22:30,906 --> 01:22:32,908 Move! Move! 1359 01:22:32,908 --> 01:22:35,911 Daddy, do something! * I need love, love * 1360 01:22:35,911 --> 01:22:37,913 * To ease my mind * 1361 01:22:37,913 --> 01:22:43,919 Where's your car?We're not taking my car.We'd never make it across town. 1362 01:22:43,919 --> 01:22:45,921 Yoo-hoo! Boys! Boys. * You can't hurry love * 1363 01:22:45,921 --> 01:22:47,923 * No, you just have to wait * [ Siren Wailing ] 1364 01:22:47,923 --> 01:22:49,925 * She said love don't come easy * 1365 01:22:49,925 --> 01:22:52,928 Hector, you're a fireman. * It's a game of give and take * 1366 01:22:52,928 --> 01:22:56,932 Yes. I'm Novemberin our calendar. * You can't hurry love * 1367 01:22:57,933 --> 01:23:02,938 - Hey, hey! Stop!- Thank you, Ernie, dear. 1368 01:23:02,938 --> 01:23:05,941 Call me! * Well, how many heartaches * 1369 01:23:05,941 --> 01:23:09,945 * Must I stand Before I find the love ** 1370 01:23:09,945 --> 01:23:13,949 - So where's Gabriella?- She signed up to work another cruise. 1371 01:23:13,949 --> 01:23:17,953 - When does she leave port?- Two hours ago. 1372 01:23:17,953 --> 01:23:19,955 Two hours ago? 1373 01:23:19,955 --> 01:23:22,958 And how am I supposed tofind her in the ocean? 1374 01:23:24,960 --> 01:23:27,963 [ Engine Whirring ] 1375 01:23:27,963 --> 01:23:29,965 [ Jerry ] I can't do this! 1376 01:23:29,965 --> 01:23:31,967 Oh, I get motion sickness! 1377 01:23:31,967 --> 01:23:34,970 Yes, you can.Come on, Jerry. 1378 01:23:34,970 --> 01:23:36,972 You're about to be unitedwith the woman you love. 1379 01:23:36,972 --> 01:23:38,974 What do you think? 1380 01:23:38,974 --> 01:23:41,977 Oh--Why don't you calm down? 1381 01:23:41,977 --> 01:23:43,979 You are in very,very good hands. 1382 01:23:43,979 --> 01:23:45,981 Are you sure you knowwhat you're doing? 1383 01:23:45,981 --> 01:23:48,984 I know you onlythink of me... 1384 01:23:48,984 --> 01:23:50,986 as a hard-partyingold queen, 1385 01:23:50,986 --> 01:23:53,989 but for your information, I spent 32 years... 1386 01:23:53,989 --> 01:23:55,991 in the armed forces... 1387 01:23:55,991 --> 01:23:58,994 serving Her Majesty,the real queen. 1388 01:23:58,994 --> 01:24:01,997 I've seen actionin five differenttheaters of war. 1389 01:24:01,997 --> 01:24:06,001 I've made over 490 drops,23 over hostile territory. 1390 01:24:06,001 --> 01:24:09,004 I am what you colonialsmight call... 1391 01:24:09,004 --> 01:24:11,006 a bad-assed motherfucker, 1392 01:24:11,006 --> 01:24:14,009 who also happens to bean expert... 1393 01:24:14,009 --> 01:24:17,493 in the delicate artof Japanese flower arranging. 1394 01:24:18,013 --> 01:24:21,016 Oh.Over the target, Captain. 1395 01:24:21,016 --> 01:24:24,019 Right.It's now or never.Eh-- Aaah! 1396 01:24:24,019 --> 01:24:27,022 Come on, Jerry,get off here. Jump out! 1397 01:24:27,022 --> 01:24:29,024 [ Jerry ]I can't do this! 1398 01:24:29,024 --> 01:24:32,027 [ Nick ] Go get her, Jerry! This is a really bad idea! 1399 01:24:33,028 --> 01:24:36,031 [ Jerry Screaming ] 1400 01:24:36,031 --> 01:24:41,036 Wait! I'm gonna be sick.I mean it. Oh! 1401 01:24:42,037 --> 01:24:44,039 Oh, I felt that one. 1402 01:24:44,039 --> 01:24:46,041 [ Lloyd ]Good Lord,you're a crybaby! 1403 01:24:48,043 --> 01:24:51,046 [ Gabriella's Voice ] Five, six, seven, eight. 1404 01:24:51,046 --> 01:24:54,049 Kick back, head up, down. 1405 01:24:54,049 --> 01:24:56,051 One more time. 1406 01:24:56,051 --> 01:24:59,054 Kick back, head up, down. 1407 01:24:59,054 --> 01:25:02,057 I want it sassy now.Come on. Kick, plié. [ Jerry Shouting, Indistinct ] 1408 01:25:02,057 --> 01:25:06,061 Head up, down.And kick, plié. 1409 01:25:06,061 --> 01:25:08,063 [ Jerry Shouting ] I'm not a person who likes heights! 1410 01:25:08,063 --> 01:25:12,067 Oh, I don't feel so good.I don't feel so good. 1411 01:25:13,068 --> 01:25:17,072 Oh, I hate this! 1412 01:25:17,072 --> 01:25:20,075 [ Screaming ] 1413 01:25:20,075 --> 01:25:23,078 - What is that?- [ Jerry ] I don't like this! 1414 01:25:23,078 --> 01:25:27,082 [ Lloyd ]We're over target.Prepare for release. 1415 01:25:27,082 --> 01:25:29,084 Release! Aaah! 1416 01:25:31,086 --> 01:25:33,088 Ha-ha! Oh, we did it! 1417 01:25:34,089 --> 01:25:36,091 [ Laughing ] I'm so excited! 1418 01:25:36,091 --> 01:25:40,095 If truth be told, I'm morethan a little excited myself. 1419 01:25:40,095 --> 01:25:43,098 Oh--Unhook me, please. 1420 01:25:43,098 --> 01:25:45,100 I don't believe this. 1421 01:25:45,100 --> 01:25:50,105 - Help, please.- This time I'm gonna let you drown. 1422 01:25:50,105 --> 01:25:52,107 Well, you're gonna have todrag me over to the deep end, 1423 01:25:52,107 --> 01:25:54,109 'cause it's only aboutthree-and-a-half feet over here. 1424 01:25:54,109 --> 01:25:57,112 - What are you doing here?- I was in the neighborhood, 1425 01:25:57,112 --> 01:26:01,116 so I figured,well, I'd just drop in. 1426 01:26:01,116 --> 01:26:02,117 Good-bye. 1427 01:26:02,117 --> 01:26:05,120 Uh, Gabriella, wait! Please. 1428 01:26:08,123 --> 01:26:10,125 Mm-hmm? 1429 01:26:10,125 --> 01:26:13,128 I thought I was beingreasonably clever... 1430 01:26:13,128 --> 01:26:16,131 considering I just dropped1,500 feet out of an airplane. 1431 01:26:16,131 --> 01:26:18,133 Why'd you bother? 1432 01:26:31,146 --> 01:26:33,148 Because I love you. 1433 01:26:33,148 --> 01:26:37,152 Who loves me--gay Jerry as a friend, 1434 01:26:37,152 --> 01:26:41,156 or is this straight, lying, deceitful Jerry? 1435 01:26:41,156 --> 01:26:44,159 Hmm? 1436 01:26:45,160 --> 01:26:46,161 You've never met this Jerry. 1437 01:26:47,162 --> 01:26:50,165 This is the extremely sorry, 1438 01:26:50,165 --> 01:26:53,168 unbelievably heartbrokenbecause you left me, 1439 01:26:53,168 --> 01:26:56,171 will do anything to get youto forgive me... 1440 01:26:56,171 --> 01:26:58,173 because I want to spend the restof my life with you Jerry. 1441 01:27:00,175 --> 01:27:02,177 Well, you listen to me,Jerry. 1442 01:27:03,178 --> 01:27:04,660 Just because you droppedout of the sky... 1443 01:27:05,180 --> 01:27:07,182 and made thisgrand romantic gesture... 1444 01:27:07,182 --> 01:27:10,185 doesn't mean thatI'm gonna automaticallyrun into your arms. 1445 01:27:10,185 --> 01:27:12,187 Do you understand that?Hmm? 1446 01:27:12,187 --> 01:27:14,189 Yes.Good. 1447 01:27:17,192 --> 01:27:20,195 Okay. I'm probably going to,but you shouldn'tautomatically expect it. 1448 01:27:20,195 --> 01:27:22,197 Because if we're gonna havethe kind of relationship... 1449 01:27:23,198 --> 01:27:25,200 where one day you're gonnabe making all thesehurtful fantasies-- 1450 01:27:30,205 --> 01:27:32,207 Don't you ever, ever... 1451 01:27:32,207 --> 01:27:34,209 lie to me again. 1452 01:27:34,209 --> 01:27:37,212 I swear. 1453 01:27:45,220 --> 01:27:48,223 I'll neverunderstand it. 1454 01:27:48,223 --> 01:27:50,225 Neither will I. 1455 01:28:08,243 --> 01:28:12,247 [ Nick, Echoing ] Inga! 1456 01:28:13,248 --> 01:28:17,252 Inga. Inga. 1457 01:28:17,252 --> 01:28:19,254 Inga. 1458 01:28:21,256 --> 01:28:24,259 [ Knocking ] 1459 01:28:35,270 --> 01:28:37,272 My God.Oh, my God! 1460 01:28:39,274 --> 01:28:42,277 I'm Nick Ragoni. I'm a friendof your daughter Inga. 1461 01:28:42,277 --> 01:28:45,280 I've traveled 12,000 milesto surprise her. 1462 01:28:45,280 --> 01:28:48,283 You poor thing. You look frozen.Let me help you up. 1463 01:28:50,285 --> 01:28:53,288 [ Groaning ]Let me and my sonhelp you up. 1464 01:28:53,288 --> 01:28:55,290 Johan, come over here. Ja. 1465 01:28:55,290 --> 01:28:57,292 Oh-- 1466 01:28:57,292 --> 01:28:59,294 Come on. 1467 01:28:59,294 --> 01:29:03,298 This man is obviouslya fan of smörgåsbord. 1468 01:29:04,299 --> 01:29:07,302 Ingmar, what's going on? 1469 01:29:07,302 --> 01:29:09,304 Oh, Mother, he's anAmerican friend of Inga's. 1470 01:29:09,304 --> 01:29:13,308 Oh, I hope you didn't go too much trouble to get here. 1471 01:29:13,308 --> 01:29:14,309 - Inga's not home.- What? 1472 01:29:14,309 --> 01:29:18,313 She's gone to Italyon a modeling assignment. 1473 01:29:18,313 --> 01:29:21,316 - Won't be back for three months.- Oh, God, no. 1474 01:29:21,316 --> 01:29:25,320 - I can't believe it.- You poor boy. 1475 01:29:25,320 --> 01:29:28,323 You look so cold.You'll join us for dinner. 1476 01:29:28,323 --> 01:29:31,326 Bridgit, get this mansome soup from the stove. 1477 01:29:34,329 --> 01:29:38,333 This is Bridgit.She wants to be a bikini model,just like her big sister. 1478 01:29:39,334 --> 01:29:42,337 Nice to meet you. 1479 01:29:42,337 --> 01:29:45,340 And Bridgit's coach will bejoining us for dinner too. 1480 01:29:45,340 --> 01:29:48,343 [ Woman Gasps ] 1481 01:29:50,345 --> 01:29:52,347 Oh-- 1482 01:29:52,347 --> 01:29:55,350 Oh, Nicholas. 1483 01:29:55,350 --> 01:29:58,353 Hello. 1484 01:29:58,353 --> 01:30:00,355 We meet again. 110840

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.