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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:21,385 --> 00:00:24,271 The lake’s burst its banks but it looks like the Lovells moved up 2 00:00:24,351 --> 00:00:26,359 to the North Meadow in the nick of time. 3 00:00:27,562 --> 00:00:28,716 It was quite a storm, huh? 4 00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:31,422 I didn’t sleep a wink. I couldn’t stop thinking 5 00:00:31,503 --> 00:00:36,045 about Sir Simon. Poor guy looked so distressed, Hiram. 6 00:00:37,958 --> 00:00:41,345 Do you think we should send a gift to apologise for frightening him? 7 00:00:41,692 --> 00:00:42,973 Nice idea honey. 8 00:00:43,519 --> 00:00:45,213 You know, I think we were in the eye of it. 9 00:00:45,293 --> 00:00:47,366 The damage isn’t as bad as I feared. 10 00:00:48,244 --> 00:00:52,253 A shelter in the time of storm 11 00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:57,232 Secure whatever ill betide 12 00:00:57,313 --> 00:01:01,345 A shelter in the time of storm… 13 00:01:02,768 --> 00:01:04,485 How did that happen? 14 00:01:06,438 --> 00:01:10,600 A weary land, a weary land 15 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:15,171 Oh, Jesus is a rock in a weary land 16 00:01:15,252 --> 00:01:19,485 A shelter in the time of storm 17 00:01:19,566 --> 00:01:24,396 No fears alarm, no foes are right 18 00:01:24,477 --> 00:01:28,199 A shelter in the time of storm 19 00:01:31,940 --> 00:01:34,093 Lady D… D… Deborah. 20 00:01:34,332 --> 00:01:38,850 Delightful sermon this morning, Reverend, although the end dragged. 21 00:01:38,970 --> 00:01:42,041 Please, do try to remember the ten minute rule. 22 00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:46,313 Oh dear. I don’t suppose the insurance…? 23 00:01:46,394 --> 00:01:49,519 Ghost damage comes under exclusion clauses. 24 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:50,879 Curse his bones. 25 00:01:51,793 --> 00:01:55,203 He’s obviously not best pleased with his new incumbents. 26 00:01:55,284 --> 00:01:58,242 - Sooner they leave the better. - I couldn’t agree more, Elvis. 27 00:01:58,322 --> 00:02:01,074 What on earth can they have done to offend him I wonder? 28 00:02:01,980 --> 00:02:03,246 Morning. 29 00:02:05,521 --> 00:02:06,701 Morning, Reverend. 30 00:02:07,662 --> 00:02:10,436 So how are you finding England’s green and pleasant? 31 00:02:10,606 --> 00:02:12,302 A bit of a culture shock. 32 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:16,252 I don’t expect you’ll stick around. Don’t you have law studies to resume? 33 00:02:16,545 --> 00:02:19,560 Actually I’ve decided I’m not cut out for law. 34 00:02:20,424 --> 00:02:22,190 So what are you going to do with your life? 35 00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:24,919 You sound like my Mom. You know what Mothers are like? 36 00:02:24,999 --> 00:02:27,840 Hardly, Cecil’s bolted with a bridge player from Monte Carlo. 37 00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:30,086 And ours upped sticks to become a Buddhist Nun. 38 00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:32,640 The last known location was some temple near 39 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,443 Wat Chiang Man, wherever the blazes that is? 40 00:02:35,524 --> 00:02:36,895 Northern Thailand. 41 00:02:38,923 --> 00:02:40,436 Is she coming to the wedding? 42 00:02:42,122 --> 00:02:44,433 I sincerely hope not. 43 00:02:44,761 --> 00:02:48,172 I hesitate to use the words, "wedding of the year", 44 00:02:48,532 --> 00:02:50,419 but the Prince of Wales is the guest of honour. 45 00:02:50,499 --> 00:02:55,147 The last thing I want is a bald mother of the bride in an orange sari ruining photos 46 00:02:55,228 --> 00:03:00,273 because, well, literally everyone who is anyone will be there. 47 00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:01,484 We hope you can come. 48 00:03:01,565 --> 00:03:04,759 Although it will have to be the reception party only as the chapel only seats 300. 49 00:03:04,839 --> 00:03:07,390 Don’t be a numpty, Mops. She can be my plus one. 50 00:03:07,471 --> 00:03:09,670 I wouldn’t want to ruin the seating plan. 51 00:03:09,871 --> 00:03:12,713 It would be a shame if you missed out on the ceremony. 52 00:03:13,313 --> 00:03:15,370 Imagine the chapel… 53 00:03:15,557 --> 00:03:18,804 a bower of freesias to match my bouquet. 54 00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:23,932 The eyes of the congregation on me as I make my entrance. 55 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:33,380 - The Duke of Stilton your… - Ruddy man this is all I need. 56 00:03:33,461 --> 00:03:37,235 What on earth’s the matter, Bluey? You look like a heart attack in waiting. 57 00:03:37,316 --> 00:03:41,171 Dickie Wales has invited himself to stay on his way to Scotland next month. 58 00:03:41,285 --> 00:03:43,628 - Bad luck. - He’ll drink my best vintages. 59 00:03:43,709 --> 00:03:46,931 And how I’ll entertain him when the shooting season hasn’t even started? 60 00:03:47,011 --> 00:03:50,085 He is rather high maintenance. Can’t you find an excuse? 61 00:03:50,166 --> 00:03:53,440 Hardly as my high maintenance daughter would kill me 62 00:03:53,521 --> 00:03:56,234 seeing as he’s star guest at her wedding. 63 00:03:58,765 --> 00:04:01,438 Ralph seems smitten with the Otis girl. 64 00:04:01,519 --> 00:04:05,365 He’s not the only one smitten. Have you seen the way she makes eyes at Cecil? 65 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:09,225 If we’re not careful — none of them will make a suitable match. 66 00:04:09,843 --> 00:04:11,208 I say, Bluey… 67 00:04:13,161 --> 00:04:16,352 what do you say we kill two birds with one stone? 68 00:04:36,157 --> 00:04:39,402 Ooh. I did’st underestimate them. 69 00:04:39,483 --> 00:04:42,456 So impressed were they by mine performance 70 00:04:43,029 --> 00:04:46,632 they did’st leave me a tribute. 71 00:04:46,931 --> 00:04:49,519 They seem strange tributes. 72 00:04:49,784 --> 00:04:51,695 "Dear Sir Simon. 73 00:04:52,061 --> 00:04:57,536 It was a pleasure to meet you and apologies if we alarmed you at all. 74 00:04:59,389 --> 00:05:03,479 Please accept these natural remedies, 75 00:05:05,220 --> 00:05:10,759 which we hope you will find helpful for your soothing rest and relaxation. 76 00:05:11,399 --> 00:05:13,671 Sincerely, The Otis family. 77 00:05:14,097 --> 00:05:17,295 P.S. What does PS mean? 78 00:05:18,595 --> 00:05:22,793 Given the importance of sleep to adolescent brain development, 79 00:05:22,874 --> 00:05:27,692 we’d very much appreciate it if you could limit haunting to before 11pm." 80 00:05:27,799 --> 00:05:28,866 Well! 81 00:05:40,057 --> 00:05:41,176 Hiram, 82 00:05:43,963 --> 00:05:47,004 do you think that means he appreciates my gift basket? 83 00:05:55,201 --> 00:05:57,280 At the black moon, 84 00:05:57,834 --> 00:06:02,992 when Chanticleer doth sound twice his merry horn… 85 00:06:03,911 --> 00:06:06,501 then deeds of blood will be wrought, 86 00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:11,321 and murder walk abroad with silent feet. 87 00:06:30,455 --> 00:06:34,186 I’m not sure if appreciate is the word I’d use. 88 00:06:35,573 --> 00:06:38,327 Death threats from a dead man. Way to go. 89 00:06:39,253 --> 00:06:42,047 Did you see how he turned brown when the bath bombs exploded? 90 00:06:42,127 --> 00:06:43,874 - They stuck to him. - So? 91 00:06:43,955 --> 00:06:48,044 Our Ghost isn’t an apparition he’s made of atoms. Solid matter. 92 00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:49,626 That’s an impressive deduction. 93 00:06:49,706 --> 00:06:53,237 Although his molecular makeup must be considerably lighter than ours 94 00:06:53,318 --> 00:06:55,084 in order for him to disperse… 95 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,971 You mean he can’t just disappear. 96 00:06:57,052 --> 00:06:59,634 Mrs. Umney. Do you know who Chanticleer is? 97 00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:03,405 A cursed cockerel. 98 00:07:04,019 --> 00:07:07,146 Legend says that if he crows twice during the midnight hour, 99 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:10,066 a member of the household will die. 100 00:07:10,147 --> 00:07:12,316 I take it this theory is tried and tested? 101 00:07:12,397 --> 00:07:18,238 The last time was in 1815 when Lord Digby Canterville was struck down aged 29. 102 00:07:18,319 --> 00:07:19,158 How did he die? 103 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:22,540 It’s said he was frightened to death by the Ghost. 104 00:07:23,479 --> 00:07:26,546 Well, then I don’t think we have anything to worry about. 105 00:07:36,232 --> 00:07:38,377 I suppose they’ll redecorate. 106 00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:41,360 Paint everything the colour of wet cement 107 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,689 and call it New York chic or some such thing. 108 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:48,850 Never been. Visited the Hamptons a few times. 109 00:07:49,012 --> 00:07:51,788 It’s a bit like Cornwall but without poor people. 110 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,392 Ah, good morning. 111 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,131 I was just saying how much I was looking forward 112 00:07:56,212 --> 00:07:57,981 to seeing what you’re going to do with the decor. 113 00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:00,237 Well, I’ll ask Mrs. Umney to fetch us some tea. 114 00:08:00,317 --> 00:08:02,631 Oh, there’s no need. I’ll get straight to the point. 115 00:08:02,711 --> 00:08:04,387 Now the Chase is reoccupied, 116 00:08:04,468 --> 00:08:08,186 Bluey thought it might be a good idea to revive a local tradition. 117 00:08:09,593 --> 00:08:10,897 Didn’t you, Bluey? 118 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,459 The Stilton Canterville cricket match. 119 00:08:14,719 --> 00:08:19,160 Established in 1680 by way of lowering the local murder rate. 120 00:08:19,677 --> 00:08:22,092 We fought on opposite sides in the civil war. 121 00:08:22,332 --> 00:08:26,038 A lot of old scores. Dead bodies piling up everywhere. 122 00:08:26,119 --> 00:08:27,057 Oh, ha ha. 123 00:08:27,138 --> 00:08:30,840 So the families decided to vent their aggression on the playing field. 124 00:08:31,379 --> 00:08:34,273 Captaining their tenants in an annual cricket match. 125 00:08:34,853 --> 00:08:38,103 Then over the years it became a highlight of the social calendar. 126 00:08:38,983 --> 00:08:40,749 Until the family moved out. 127 00:08:40,963 --> 00:08:42,801 What does this involve? 128 00:08:42,882 --> 00:08:44,185 Oh, nothing onerous. 129 00:08:44,392 --> 00:08:47,838 Captain a team from the village and lay on match refreshments. 130 00:08:48,464 --> 00:08:51,533 Basically a fun day out for the locals and their families. 131 00:08:51,733 --> 00:08:52,598 Oh, we’ll do it. 132 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:54,520 Ah, splendid. 133 00:08:55,621 --> 00:08:57,080 It will be huge fun. 134 00:08:58,853 --> 00:09:00,106 - Morning. - Morning. 135 00:09:00,639 --> 00:09:02,686 - Well, thank you for coming… - Morning. 136 00:09:03,404 --> 00:09:04,518 Bye. 137 00:09:07,850 --> 00:09:09,992 We’ve been wanting to get to know the locals better. 138 00:09:10,072 --> 00:09:14,161 Hiram, is now a good time to point out you know absolutely nothing about cricket? 139 00:09:14,461 --> 00:09:18,216 It can’t be that different from baseball and the boys can join in. 140 00:09:19,042 --> 00:09:22,294 I guess I just can’t help feeling that woman is up to something. 141 00:09:25,346 --> 00:09:28,510 You want to find the lost treasure of the Cantervilles? 142 00:09:29,723 --> 00:09:32,706 So, what makes you think you’ll succeed 143 00:09:32,933 --> 00:09:35,713 when so many others before you have failed? 144 00:09:35,863 --> 00:09:39,518 Maybe they didn’t ask the right questions to the right people? 145 00:09:43,527 --> 00:09:44,868 Ask your questions. 146 00:09:45,946 --> 00:09:49,922 Well, the Gypsies built Canterville Chase. So they must have built the priest hole? 147 00:09:50,002 --> 00:09:51,981 They never finished building it. 148 00:09:53,306 --> 00:09:58,921 They had a falling out with Lord Henry and were banished from Canterville soil. 149 00:09:59,274 --> 00:10:01,410 Why doesn’t the ghost leave? 150 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,169 Spirits can’t roam. 151 00:10:03,806 --> 00:10:08,592 They need to be within reach of their earthly bones to recharge their energy. 152 00:10:09,090 --> 00:10:10,853 Oh, like a vampire’s coffin? 153 00:10:10,934 --> 00:10:12,273 Like a battery. 154 00:10:13,757 --> 00:10:15,316 He died unshriven. 155 00:10:16,175 --> 00:10:20,477 Denied divine mercy, and so cursed to limbo, 156 00:10:21,062 --> 00:10:23,730 he’s trapped inside the walls of his own house. 157 00:10:24,569 --> 00:10:28,117 Just one more thing, ma’am, do you know what a black moon is? 158 00:10:30,072 --> 00:10:33,278 Rare nights when the sky is completely black 159 00:10:34,236 --> 00:10:36,845 and spirits are at their most powerful. 160 00:10:44,271 --> 00:10:47,829 Perhaps the repertoire could do with updating. 161 00:10:47,910 --> 00:10:52,972 What dost thine irksome like know oft Sophoclean arts? 162 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,795 How I had’st the misfortunance to 163 00:10:55,935 --> 00:10:59,460 culminate with a gobbetous vermin as mine only critic… 164 00:10:59,541 --> 00:11:01,240 I didn’t apply for the job. 165 00:11:01,321 --> 00:11:05,130 I left a wife, 200 children and a newly built cesspit for this. 166 00:11:05,211 --> 00:11:09,912 Well, rapacious rodent, thou should’st not have tried to eat me. 167 00:11:09,993 --> 00:11:12,097 I didn’t know your flesh was cursed… 168 00:11:13,043 --> 00:11:14,363 You didn’t even taste nice. 169 00:11:14,443 --> 00:11:19,607 Ohhh, I do glean un soupçon de schadenfreude 170 00:11:19,688 --> 00:11:25,353 thy last meal on’t earth was such a crushing disappointment. 171 00:11:26,726 --> 00:11:31,262 Ahh, only nine moons to go 172 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,797 and one of them will’t perish. 173 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:37,600 Now what? 174 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:41,893 He’s hardly the most reliable poultry. 175 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:45,937 My cursed cockalorum will’t not fail me. 176 00:11:47,823 --> 00:11:51,720 They shall’t rue the night for their vituperation 177 00:11:52,655 --> 00:11:58,730 and my noble Chanticleer will’t be mine champion. 178 00:12:17,157 --> 00:12:18,510 Canterville Chase. 179 00:12:19,892 --> 00:12:23,116 One moment. Buckingham Palace, Madam. 180 00:12:30,378 --> 00:12:31,397 Lucretia Otis. 181 00:12:31,478 --> 00:12:33,053 Commander Tommy Tiverton. 182 00:12:33,399 --> 00:12:36,800 Personal private secretary to his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales. 183 00:12:36,953 --> 00:12:39,656 Oh, I’m afraid you must have the wrong number. 184 00:12:41,144 --> 00:12:42,619 Mrs. Hiram Otis? 185 00:12:43,126 --> 00:12:44,446 - Yes. - Excellent. 186 00:12:44,527 --> 00:12:48,081 And may I start by extending his Royal Highness’ thanks for hosting. 187 00:12:48,162 --> 00:12:52,376 So, if we can talk lists of requirements and security arrangements. 188 00:12:52,457 --> 00:12:56,546 And there’ll probably be a small press presence, but we’ll deal with that. 189 00:12:57,765 --> 00:12:59,210 "The" Prince Richard? 190 00:12:59,291 --> 00:13:02,400 Yes, Hiram. The heir to the British throne. 191 00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:05,320 Buckingham Palace are keen to firm up the details of the itinerary 192 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,160 given that he is President of the MCC 193 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,790 and looking forward to a "stonking match". 194 00:13:10,871 --> 00:13:12,691 I guess it will be one to tell the grandchildren? 195 00:13:12,771 --> 00:13:15,682 How the English gave the Americans a public whupping? 196 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,360 You know, I knew that woman was up to something. 197 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,216 This isn’t a friendly for the locals. 198 00:13:20,296 --> 00:13:23,768 This is the social event of the year and we’re the entertainment. 199 00:13:24,707 --> 00:13:26,633 Please tell me we have a team? 200 00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:32,120 Hi there. 201 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:37,785 Morning. 202 00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:45,143 Morning. 203 00:13:46,016 --> 00:13:49,070 - Hiram Otis. I’ve recently moved into… - I know who you are. 204 00:13:50,225 --> 00:13:53,857 Wonderful store. At least you get wi-fi in the village. 205 00:13:53,938 --> 00:13:57,639 We don’t anymore. The mast blew down the other night. 206 00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:59,675 Oh, it was quite a storm, huh? 207 00:13:59,841 --> 00:14:02,615 Hasn’t been a storm like that in 25 years. 208 00:14:03,015 --> 00:14:04,038 Hmm. 209 00:14:05,591 --> 00:14:07,758 I don’t know if you’ve heard but we’re reviving the… 210 00:14:07,838 --> 00:14:09,405 Oh, it looks like you’ve heard. 211 00:14:10,093 --> 00:14:12,873 In that case I’m some players short of a cricket team? 212 00:14:14,412 --> 00:14:16,716 Is there some place I could put a signup sheet? 213 00:14:20,436 --> 00:14:21,989 Try the church notice board. 214 00:14:24,141 --> 00:14:28,316 Church notice board… thank you for your help. 215 00:14:33,905 --> 00:14:35,280 Ok, what do we know? 216 00:14:35,361 --> 00:14:37,952 One. The Ghost must return to his bones to recharge. 217 00:14:38,033 --> 00:14:40,239 And two he’s appearing at the next black moon. 218 00:14:40,319 --> 00:14:41,237 Next Friday. 219 00:14:41,318 --> 00:14:45,076 Exactly. So why don’t we follow him back to his priest hole? 220 00:14:45,157 --> 00:14:48,015 How can we follow someone who can vanish through walls? 221 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,769 Because he can’t go through solid objects. 222 00:14:49,849 --> 00:14:52,765 He’s made of atoms. He escapes through cracks in the house. 223 00:14:52,846 --> 00:14:53,859 So? 224 00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:58,138 So… we can track and trace him. 225 00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:01,293 Paintball Gun, fast release. 226 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,822 Lovely day. 227 00:15:06,979 --> 00:15:09,710 Ah, it’s nice to see a friendly face. 228 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,302 I’m not exactly top of the polls round here. 229 00:15:12,735 --> 00:15:15,507 It’s the storm. They took quite a battering. 230 00:15:15,588 --> 00:15:18,745 Well, they can hardly blame an American for the British climate. 231 00:15:18,825 --> 00:15:22,920 Actually, they blame the Ghost. They only blame you by association. 232 00:15:23,001 --> 00:15:24,878 That’s funny you mentioned a ghost. 233 00:15:24,959 --> 00:15:26,871 There’s nothing funny about Sir Simon. 234 00:15:26,964 --> 00:15:29,257 He’s a particularly malevolent spirit. 235 00:15:29,611 --> 00:15:32,633 Been causing localised storms for centuries. 236 00:15:34,051 --> 00:15:36,071 Gather you’d reinstated the match. 237 00:15:37,010 --> 00:15:39,992 Hey, I don’t suppose any Cantervilles are able to volunteer? 238 00:15:40,211 --> 00:15:42,478 Cecil’s playing for the Stilton team 239 00:15:42,559 --> 00:15:47,039 under pain of death from Moppy and I’m booked in for a knee replacement. 240 00:15:47,857 --> 00:15:51,130 But let me know if you need any help on the coaching side? 241 00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:52,905 Hey, I may hold you to that. 242 00:15:54,595 --> 00:15:57,958 So how about we transfer our baseball skills to the cricket pitch? 243 00:15:58,039 --> 00:16:00,528 Frank used to be a champion little league pitcher 244 00:16:00,608 --> 00:16:04,293 before the… "incident" and Theo… 245 00:16:04,374 --> 00:16:07,409 Has octopus hands and two left feet. We’d never win. 246 00:16:07,821 --> 00:16:10,382 It’s not about winning. It’s about playing the game. 247 00:16:11,101 --> 00:16:13,869 - What’s in it for us? - Honour and glory, Theodore. 248 00:16:14,482 --> 00:16:15,862 What about Ginny? 249 00:16:15,981 --> 00:16:19,129 I can’t even play baseball. I’ll be first aider. 250 00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:22,897 Oh, good, well since you’ve got some time on your hands, 251 00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:26,045 look, I got you these brochures. 252 00:16:26,126 --> 00:16:29,583 Oxford and Cambridge do some excellent law conversion courses. 253 00:16:29,664 --> 00:16:32,968 Actually I was thinking I could help Dad with his genealogy project. 254 00:16:33,048 --> 00:16:34,600 Oh, I would like that very much. 255 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:38,586 - Great then I’ll get on it tomorrow. - You’ll need to go to Featherstonehaugh. 256 00:16:38,821 --> 00:16:42,043 The Cantervilles took the archives with them when they moved out. 257 00:16:44,145 --> 00:16:47,533 Straight up I think we may have inadvertently offended him. 258 00:16:47,871 --> 00:16:49,714 I’m guilty myself. 259 00:16:49,954 --> 00:16:52,960 Forty years ago on my arrival as a young Curate 260 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,944 I attempted an exorcism on Sir Simon. 261 00:16:56,459 --> 00:16:58,187 He found my delivery so offensive 262 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:03,147 that he… he… he… stuck skeletal fingers down my throat and… 263 00:17:03,887 --> 00:17:06,153 strangled my Adam’s apple. 264 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:07,405 Oh my. 265 00:17:07,486 --> 00:17:09,886 Then he whipped up a storm which brought the belfry down. 266 00:17:09,966 --> 00:17:12,498 It took three years to gain the trust of the village after that 267 00:17:12,578 --> 00:17:17,141 and f… five years of speech therapy before I could deliver a sermon. 268 00:17:18,447 --> 00:17:19,400 Hmm. 269 00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:25,869 Well, the reason I’m here, may I introduce Mr. Django Lovell. Roofing specialist. 270 00:17:26,855 --> 00:17:28,004 Reverend. 271 00:17:28,818 --> 00:17:32,927 There’s been so much storm damage over the years it’s like an over darned sock. 272 00:17:34,046 --> 00:17:37,073 The economic long term solution is to replace the entire roof. 273 00:17:37,153 --> 00:17:38,981 You’re preaching to the converted 274 00:17:39,461 --> 00:17:41,982 but there are only so many bring and buy sales a parish can hold. 275 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:45,604 Well, it was caused by my sitting tenant so that’d be on me. 276 00:17:46,164 --> 00:17:48,924 I’m… I’m overwhelmed. 277 00:17:49,330 --> 00:17:50,744 The timing couldn’t be better 278 00:17:50,824 --> 00:17:52,840 as the future Supreme Governor of the Church of England 279 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,662 is doing a drive by on his way to the match. 280 00:17:54,742 --> 00:17:56,808 I see you’ve put a signup sheet on the noticeboard. 281 00:17:56,888 --> 00:17:59,981 Hmm, let’s just say it hasn’t exactly been a stampede. 282 00:18:00,062 --> 00:18:02,740 I’m sure once news of your largesse gets out… 283 00:18:02,821 --> 00:18:04,830 I’d rather it didn’t, if you don’t mind. 284 00:18:05,147 --> 00:18:06,917 As my Grandfather always said. 285 00:18:07,026 --> 00:18:09,456 "It ‘ain't charity when you help yourself." 286 00:18:21,898 --> 00:18:25,447 Good afternoon. Lord Canterville said you’d be expecting me. 287 00:18:27,223 --> 00:18:28,900 Follow me, Miss. 288 00:18:29,988 --> 00:18:31,081 Hello there… 289 00:18:32,842 --> 00:18:35,332 My Dad’s researching his family tree 290 00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:38,571 and your Dad kindly gave him access to the estate records. 291 00:18:38,798 --> 00:18:44,446 Which is why I’m here. On behalf of my father… for purposes of research. 292 00:18:46,682 --> 00:18:49,355 Thanks, Danby. I’ve got this. Follow me. 293 00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,582 Hey, Guys. What’s up? 294 00:18:55,663 --> 00:18:57,744 Hey, Dad, can we er, borrow some stuff? 295 00:18:57,825 --> 00:18:59,676 Sure. Help yourselves. 296 00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:04,124 What’s that? 297 00:19:04,282 --> 00:19:06,286 That’s a cytronic stain remover. 298 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,182 It’s a vacuum cleaner for stains. 299 00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:12,027 That’s cyclone technology mixed with cybertronics. 300 00:19:12,261 --> 00:19:13,734 Way to go, Theo. 301 00:19:14,074 --> 00:19:18,020 Yeh, it’s quite revolutionary. At least it will be if I can get it work… 302 00:19:20,841 --> 00:19:22,658 Are you a keen historian? 303 00:19:22,739 --> 00:19:25,090 Not really. I’m just trying to annoy my mother. 304 00:19:25,976 --> 00:19:30,052 It’s my Dad who’s obsessed by the past. He’s really quite English in that respect. 305 00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:32,953 There’s a great comfort in being able to trace one’s lineage. 306 00:19:33,033 --> 00:19:34,900 That depends on the lineage. 307 00:19:35,144 --> 00:19:37,623 Have you a date of birth for Simeon Otis? 308 00:19:37,704 --> 00:19:39,273 1575. 309 00:19:39,354 --> 00:19:41,341 Best start with the parish registers then. 310 00:19:41,421 --> 00:19:44,750 Anyone who was born married or died on the estate will be in there. 311 00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,438 These are all the Canterville estate records. 312 00:19:47,594 --> 00:19:49,271 I may be here some time. 313 00:19:51,453 --> 00:19:54,283 Right, well, I’ll be off. 314 00:20:01,168 --> 00:20:03,778 Only six moons to go… 315 00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:13,675 We’re gathered here to learn the noble art of cricket 316 00:20:14,174 --> 00:20:17,244 and to convert our existing skills into an efficient… 317 00:20:17,957 --> 00:20:20,537 into, er, an efficient cricket team. 318 00:20:20,696 --> 00:20:23,514 Each team will bowl 120 balls. 319 00:20:23,679 --> 00:20:26,593 The team with the most runs wins. Any questions? 320 00:20:28,266 --> 00:20:30,557 Aren’t there supposed to be 11 players? 321 00:20:30,638 --> 00:20:32,837 Oh, we’re still waiting on reinforcements. 322 00:20:33,146 --> 00:20:35,000 Meanwhile we need to learn the rules 323 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:39,660 so we’ve engaged the services of a coach AKA Lord Canterville. 324 00:20:39,741 --> 00:20:41,672 Oh, coach is fine. 325 00:20:41,959 --> 00:20:44,329 Coach Canterville. Has quite a ring to it… 326 00:20:45,355 --> 00:20:47,850 So I’m guessing it’s pretty similar to baseball. 327 00:20:48,294 --> 00:20:50,163 Essentially yes. 328 00:20:50,577 --> 00:20:53,828 With some tactical differences on the fielding side. 329 00:20:54,021 --> 00:20:58,835 Here’s the field, er, starting with silly mid off, 330 00:20:59,519 --> 00:21:02,880 silly point, gully, slips, 331 00:21:03,124 --> 00:21:06,979 leg slip, short leg and silly mid on, right. 332 00:21:07,060 --> 00:21:08,880 Then moving outwards we have… 333 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:15,519 square leg, midwicket, and we have deep square and deep mid wicket. 334 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,811 Oh and er, finally… 335 00:21:16,892 --> 00:21:21,418 Long off, straight hit, long on — cow corner. 336 00:21:22,333 --> 00:21:23,985 So um, that’s all clear? 337 00:21:36,928 --> 00:21:39,306 Good morning, Lady D, D, D, Deborah. 338 00:21:40,087 --> 00:21:43,680 Good morning. I see you’ve found a benefactor. 339 00:21:44,126 --> 00:21:47,066 An extremely generous, anonymous benefactor, 340 00:21:47,147 --> 00:21:49,550 who’s funding the complete replacement of the roof. 341 00:21:49,630 --> 00:21:50,806 The whole shebang? 342 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,060 Who on earth could possibly afford to… 343 00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:56,805 He made me swear to secrecy. 344 00:21:57,348 --> 00:21:58,747 Hiram Otis? 345 00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:01,865 Good deeds do have a way of getting out… 346 00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:04,227 but not from me, er, us. 347 00:22:04,807 --> 00:22:08,205 Neither of us want to be guilty of betraying a confidence. 348 00:22:09,283 --> 00:22:11,519 Trust me. They won’t hear it from me. 349 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,891 Thought you may be in need of a cuppa. 350 00:22:21,112 --> 00:22:23,078 What is it with the English and tea? 351 00:22:23,337 --> 00:22:25,151 It isn’t just a beverage. 352 00:22:25,746 --> 00:22:30,691 For we English no six words can convey such multitude of meaning as, 353 00:22:31,195 --> 00:22:32,644 "shall I put the kettle on?" 354 00:22:32,769 --> 00:22:35,065 It’s a ritual and a metaphor. 355 00:22:35,253 --> 00:22:38,830 For welcome, celebration, 356 00:22:39,357 --> 00:22:43,930 condolence… and apology. 357 00:22:46,746 --> 00:22:49,199 I could do with some of its superpowers. 358 00:22:52,568 --> 00:22:53,769 I’m sorry. 359 00:22:53,903 --> 00:22:56,519 Jeremiah and Sarah Otis had nine children 360 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,932 born between 1568-1579 361 00:23:00,060 --> 00:23:02,029 but none of them named Simeon. 362 00:23:02,562 --> 00:23:06,505 And the only birth recorded in 1575 was a girl, 363 00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:10,078 Hebizibah Otis born July 1575. 364 00:23:10,431 --> 00:23:14,243 - Four months before Simeon which… - Is biologically impossible. 365 00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:19,581 Well, you spend your whole life 366 00:23:19,662 --> 00:23:22,668 thinking you’re someone only to find out perhaps you’re not. 367 00:23:23,106 --> 00:23:24,760 What about Simeon’s sketchbooks? 368 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,826 Proof he was born and raised in Canterville. 369 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:29,656 Yeah, maybe he’s a relative? A nephew perhaps? 370 00:23:29,737 --> 00:23:32,769 Or a criminal fleeing the country under a false identity. 371 00:23:32,850 --> 00:23:33,951 Nice, Frank. 372 00:23:34,252 --> 00:23:36,336 There are shelves of estate records. 373 00:23:36,417 --> 00:23:39,863 There must be mention of him somewhere and if there is I’ll find him. 374 00:23:40,071 --> 00:23:41,202 Thanks, Ginny. 375 00:23:41,992 --> 00:23:45,326 - How are the match entertainments? - Well, not very entertaining. 376 00:23:45,492 --> 00:23:48,373 According to Mrs. Umney it’s just tea and sandwiches. 377 00:23:48,454 --> 00:23:50,761 Although she has offered her Scout a cappella choir 378 00:23:50,841 --> 00:23:52,307 to sing the national anthem. 379 00:23:53,751 --> 00:23:55,740 How’s the cricket team coming together? 380 00:24:08,389 --> 00:24:09,644 Are you alright? 381 00:24:11,824 --> 00:24:14,706 Pardon me for saying but you don’t look well. 382 00:24:16,111 --> 00:24:21,986 Thine horrid, rude, vulgar and dishonest family is to blame. 383 00:24:22,573 --> 00:24:26,067 A tad hypocritical when making death threats is hardly polite. 384 00:24:26,447 --> 00:24:28,646 Or trying to terrorise people. 385 00:24:29,392 --> 00:24:31,320 ‘Tis the reason for my existence. 386 00:24:33,178 --> 00:24:35,740 To lament by day and haunteth by night. 387 00:24:36,995 --> 00:24:41,130 Then, forgive me for asking the obvious question, but why don’t you just leave? 388 00:24:41,211 --> 00:24:42,600 Because of this… 389 00:24:43,646 --> 00:24:46,170 - I don’t know what it means. - I am cursed. 390 00:24:46,589 --> 00:24:49,879 I canst not weep for my sins for I have no tears, 391 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,473 nor plead for my soul because I have no faith. 392 00:24:53,635 --> 00:24:58,708 Thus I am to await the arrival of a golden child, 393 00:24:59,108 --> 00:25:02,822 who shall’t plead my case before the Angel of Death, 394 00:25:03,252 --> 00:25:09,402 ant should’st he show mercy I will pass to the Garden of Rest. 395 00:25:09,899 --> 00:25:14,320 Then the House of Life and the House of Death shall reunite, 396 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,123 and peace shall come to Canterville. 397 00:25:18,210 --> 00:25:20,004 And, until then? 398 00:25:21,482 --> 00:25:26,515 I am trapped in perpetual unrest. 399 00:25:26,596 --> 00:25:29,328 But that’s so, so unjust. 400 00:25:29,989 --> 00:25:32,827 - Ginny, who are you talking to? - Er, no one. 401 00:25:40,163 --> 00:25:41,152 Catch! 402 00:25:42,850 --> 00:25:44,146 It’s ok, let’s go again. 403 00:25:45,574 --> 00:25:49,908 Hold the bat down to the ground and bring it up after the bowler bowls. 404 00:25:53,088 --> 00:25:58,219 Hey, Hiram. So on a humiliation scale of one to ten what is our current ranking? 405 00:25:58,818 --> 00:26:00,625 - Four. - Really? 406 00:26:01,025 --> 00:26:02,042 Maybe five. 407 00:26:02,302 --> 00:26:03,814 - Nice catch. - Sorry. 408 00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:04,848 Nine! 409 00:26:05,612 --> 00:26:07,265 He wants an exhibition match. 410 00:26:07,492 --> 00:26:10,290 More like the battle of Quebec all over again. 411 00:26:10,371 --> 00:26:11,371 No ball! 412 00:26:11,651 --> 00:26:13,929 Remember we won the War of Independence. 413 00:26:14,010 --> 00:26:18,052 If they want entertainment we’ll give them some. American style. 414 00:26:20,942 --> 00:26:23,002 - Oh, good morning, Elvis. - Morning. 415 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:27,889 Goodness this is exciting. Quite the mystery. 416 00:26:29,298 --> 00:26:32,617 Although one can’t help but wonder at the coincidence… 417 00:26:33,958 --> 00:26:35,198 Coincidence? 418 00:26:35,279 --> 00:26:37,920 Well, that this act of munificence should happen right 419 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,934 before Prince Richard’s visit. 420 00:26:42,561 --> 00:26:43,533 Just between us 421 00:26:43,614 --> 00:26:48,891 I believe he is very well known for his anonymous charitable gestures. 422 00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:55,359 Anyway, I expect we’ll never find out. Morning. 423 00:26:55,969 --> 00:26:56,952 Morning. 424 00:27:14,559 --> 00:27:18,219 It’s a fine nocturne 425 00:27:18,573 --> 00:27:25,020 my proud young struttercomb. 426 00:27:25,173 --> 00:27:26,120 Now! 427 00:27:29,983 --> 00:27:32,496 Paint ball guns! What, inside? 428 00:27:32,700 --> 00:27:35,970 Hiram! They have paint ball guns? You could have taken someone’s eye out! 429 00:27:36,050 --> 00:27:38,691 - What on earth were you doing? - Tormenting the ghost. 430 00:27:38,771 --> 00:27:41,309 - Can’t you be nice? - Where did the paint go? 431 00:27:41,390 --> 00:27:42,440 It stuck to the ghost. 432 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,330 It’s, it’s like, um, dye packs that they use in bank robberies. 433 00:27:45,410 --> 00:27:46,325 What kind of paint? 434 00:27:46,405 --> 00:27:49,737 Powder mixed with ultraviolet so that we can track him back to the Priest hole. 435 00:27:49,817 --> 00:27:52,430 - Atta boy! You see now that is a very… - Hiram! 436 00:27:52,511 --> 00:27:53,846 Hm, right, yeah. 437 00:27:54,439 --> 00:27:58,229 Time to call it a night. Go to bed. 438 00:28:02,494 --> 00:28:03,767 Are you asleep? 439 00:28:04,431 --> 00:28:05,474 Let’s go. 440 00:28:20,609 --> 00:28:21,937 We need to go down. 441 00:28:23,999 --> 00:28:27,389 Perdition seize this pussumous prince of poultry. 442 00:28:27,856 --> 00:28:30,243 I did mention he was unreliable. 443 00:28:30,324 --> 00:28:32,535 Yeah… eh? 444 00:28:33,547 --> 00:28:36,640 I heard talking. Is this your pet? 445 00:28:37,224 --> 00:28:39,997 Hello. Aren’t you sweet? 446 00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,124 Is she a simpleton? 447 00:28:42,205 --> 00:28:43,326 Very possibly. 448 00:28:44,079 --> 00:28:47,040 ‘Tis my familiar, Cesspitt. 449 00:28:48,286 --> 00:28:50,880 I canst assure you he is aught but confection. 450 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,067 For four hundred years I have endured his pratter gabble. 451 00:28:54,574 --> 00:28:56,127 It feels like a thousand. 452 00:28:56,374 --> 00:28:59,035 I thank thee not to interrupt my conversement. 453 00:29:00,180 --> 00:29:02,613 Is he "talking" to you? 454 00:29:02,982 --> 00:29:06,845 For my sins he rarely desists. 455 00:29:07,032 --> 00:29:09,969 A vexatious vermin bound to me in limbo. 456 00:29:10,376 --> 00:29:13,191 Bound? As in a legal contract? 457 00:29:13,847 --> 00:29:17,050 Why ist a female speaking of jurisprudence? 458 00:29:17,747 --> 00:29:19,929 I studied law for a while. 459 00:29:20,541 --> 00:29:22,815 Women are not permitted to study the law. 460 00:29:23,332 --> 00:29:26,778 Times have moved on. Women can do everything men do now. 461 00:29:27,931 --> 00:29:30,279 And their menfolk suffer it? 462 00:29:30,698 --> 00:29:33,205 Has it occurred "she" could be "the one." 463 00:29:33,286 --> 00:29:34,457 Jabbernowl. 464 00:29:35,659 --> 00:29:39,505 I await a golden girl not a pitch haired spinster past her prime. 465 00:29:39,586 --> 00:29:40,905 I’m 22! 466 00:29:41,432 --> 00:29:42,514 As I said. 467 00:29:42,595 --> 00:29:45,219 The meaning is open to interpretation? 468 00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:48,160 Or must we wait till your bones crumble in the dust? 469 00:29:48,241 --> 00:29:53,236 I suppose aught is preferable to thy noxious chittering. 470 00:29:55,586 --> 00:29:56,630 Madam. 471 00:29:58,893 --> 00:30:02,916 Would’st thy do thyself the honour to be mine advocate? 472 00:30:03,844 --> 00:30:06,204 Convince the Angel of Death to show you mercy? 473 00:30:08,269 --> 00:30:09,598 What if I fail? 474 00:30:09,929 --> 00:30:11,760 I am sentenced to the garden of unrest. 475 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:15,126 Whence there is no love or reconciliation. 476 00:30:15,207 --> 00:30:16,139 I can’t… 477 00:30:17,752 --> 00:30:21,648 I already destroyed a life. I won’t risk destroying your death. 478 00:30:27,696 --> 00:30:28,882 What are you doing? 479 00:30:28,963 --> 00:30:30,543 Tracking the Ghost. 480 00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:32,096 He went this way. 481 00:30:32,177 --> 00:30:34,372 Oh, can’t you leave the poor man alone? 482 00:30:34,453 --> 00:30:36,892 - What’s under here? - Ha! Gotcha! 483 00:30:37,187 --> 00:30:38,475 We found this in the library. 484 00:30:38,555 --> 00:30:40,086 Er, this can’t be right. 485 00:30:40,167 --> 00:30:42,600 I mean, look, here’s the tapestry room 486 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,712 and there’s nothing underneath. It’s solid ground. 487 00:30:44,792 --> 00:30:46,299 If there is a Priest hole underneath 488 00:30:46,379 --> 00:30:49,804 they’re hardly likely to put it on a plan and stick it in the library. 489 00:30:49,884 --> 00:30:53,532 This isn’t the master plan. But the builders must have had one. 490 00:30:54,779 --> 00:30:56,233 Peter Lovell’s box. 491 00:30:56,900 --> 00:31:00,820 He was master builder of the Chase. His original plans should be in there. 492 00:31:00,901 --> 00:31:03,007 Do you think we could have a look at them? 493 00:31:04,815 --> 00:31:06,681 Any luck with the elusive Simeon? 494 00:31:06,762 --> 00:31:08,174 None so far. 495 00:31:08,326 --> 00:31:11,216 But I found a mention of his alleged father Jeremiah. 496 00:31:11,297 --> 00:31:13,415 Here are their Canterville assize records. 497 00:31:16,259 --> 00:31:21,697 4th December 1575. Jeremiah Otis fined one shilling for poaching. 498 00:31:22,342 --> 00:31:24,320 I wouldn’t advertise the fact you are descended 499 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,544 from criminal ancestry if I were you. 500 00:31:28,590 --> 00:31:30,638 Cecil. Your fiancée is here. 501 00:31:31,548 --> 00:31:33,818 Right. Thanks. I’ll er… 502 00:31:34,243 --> 00:31:38,118 I should be going too. Thank you for having me, Lady Deborah. 503 00:31:38,918 --> 00:31:40,164 I’ll see you out. 504 00:31:43,023 --> 00:31:44,983 Give my regards to your parents. 505 00:31:45,063 --> 00:31:48,392 Everyone is really looking forward to the cricket tomorrow. 506 00:31:48,810 --> 00:31:51,207 It promises to be so entertaining. 507 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,127 Is something the matter? 508 00:31:55,270 --> 00:31:57,382 She seems strangely familiar. 509 00:31:58,295 --> 00:32:01,467 Not strange at all. There’s a portrait of her at Canterville. 510 00:32:01,548 --> 00:32:05,661 She was Lady Eleanor Featherstonehaugh before her marriage to Sir Simon. 511 00:32:06,066 --> 00:32:07,507 The murdered wife. 512 00:32:07,588 --> 00:32:09,575 Died 1576. 513 00:32:10,275 --> 00:32:13,754 Isn’t that a year after Sir Simon was supposed to have murdered her? 514 00:32:13,874 --> 00:32:15,489 So says the legend. 515 00:32:16,172 --> 00:32:18,080 The truth is far more mundane. 516 00:32:18,988 --> 00:32:23,520 Brain dropsy induced by melancholia, according to the records of the time. 517 00:32:25,326 --> 00:32:28,253 Yet another Featherstonehaugh woman who made the mistake 518 00:32:29,153 --> 00:32:30,647 of marrying a Canterville. 519 00:32:48,416 --> 00:32:50,929 In a deviation from today’s gospel 520 00:32:51,070 --> 00:32:54,439 and in honour of this splendid new roof 521 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,765 I give you the parable of the Good Samaritan. 522 00:32:58,191 --> 00:33:03,207 "A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves…" 523 00:33:03,288 --> 00:33:08,357 Imagine the man attacked by robbers was a… building. 524 00:33:09,306 --> 00:33:13,200 Like a church attacked by the forces of nature. 525 00:33:14,002 --> 00:33:19,614 And this Samaritan tended its wounds and made reimbursement… 526 00:33:19,712 --> 00:33:23,504 Anonymously and without seeking thanks. 527 00:33:23,964 --> 00:33:25,737 God bless Prince Richard. 528 00:33:30,180 --> 00:33:33,110 And this man… 529 00:33:33,470 --> 00:33:36,040 shunned by the community. 530 00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:39,975 Not a "princely" man — a Priest or Levite. 531 00:33:40,092 --> 00:33:44,653 But a foreigner. An outsider. 532 00:33:46,326 --> 00:33:52,480 Then ask yourself this. Which of these three do you think was the neighbour? 533 00:33:54,967 --> 00:34:00,280 I say unto you it was the good A… Am… Amer… 534 00:34:08,211 --> 00:34:11,585 Samaritan. The good Samaritan. 535 00:34:12,205 --> 00:34:16,502 And now we will sing hymn number 133. 536 00:34:32,829 --> 00:34:34,920 No not there, there! 537 00:34:35,852 --> 00:34:39,200 Mrs. Otis. Commander Tiverton. Good to meet you. 538 00:34:39,281 --> 00:34:41,796 Good to meet you. Sorry, but what is all this? 539 00:34:41,877 --> 00:34:45,109 Yes, the powers that be felt it was worthy of coverage 540 00:34:45,190 --> 00:34:47,109 due to the "special relationship." 541 00:34:47,548 --> 00:34:49,311 Hands across the pond and all that. 542 00:34:50,731 --> 00:34:51,840 Excuse me. 543 00:34:53,524 --> 00:34:54,705 Good afternoon, Sir. 544 00:34:56,224 --> 00:34:58,832 Well yes, as fortune fares she’s right here. 545 00:34:59,592 --> 00:35:02,863 It’s the American Ambassador. Just wants to wish you luck. 546 00:35:03,056 --> 00:35:04,330 Oh, ok. 547 00:35:05,412 --> 00:35:06,603 Lucretia Otis… 548 00:35:07,635 --> 00:35:10,515 Thank you. Yeah, we’ll do our best to fly the flag… 549 00:35:12,005 --> 00:35:13,768 We will. Goodbye. 550 00:35:14,929 --> 00:35:17,613 Ok, so it looks like it’s just us. 551 00:35:18,695 --> 00:35:22,279 I might have a gammy knee but I should be able to hit a couple of balls. 552 00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:27,502 It’s only me I’m afraid. I tried to garner support 553 00:35:27,583 --> 00:35:29,675 but subtext is not really their strong point. 554 00:35:29,755 --> 00:35:32,286 Thank you, Reverend. Ok, so, we’re 8 now 555 00:35:32,367 --> 00:35:34,598 that’s 9.09% better than 7. 556 00:35:34,679 --> 00:35:37,070 We are still three players short. We’ll never win. 557 00:35:37,150 --> 00:35:38,763 This isn’t about winning… 558 00:35:38,844 --> 00:35:40,920 this isn’t even about playing the game. 559 00:35:41,803 --> 00:35:44,943 It’s about losing with as much dignity as possible. 560 00:35:59,165 --> 00:36:01,849 Oh, Debo. Thank heaven. 561 00:36:03,095 --> 00:36:05,494 - How are you, Caro? - Livid. 562 00:36:05,575 --> 00:36:07,891 - Who can blame you? - Oh, Bluey, old chap… 563 00:36:08,051 --> 00:36:09,726 I’ve been looking forward to this… 564 00:36:09,806 --> 00:36:11,917 - Hello. - …let me out for the day… 565 00:36:22,924 --> 00:36:27,144 Your hostess. Mrs. Lucretia Otis from Boston USA. 566 00:36:27,762 --> 00:36:30,342 Is this, er, how you play cricket over there? 567 00:36:30,580 --> 00:36:33,049 Well, in the spirit of detente we decided to add 568 00:36:33,130 --> 00:36:35,355 an American flavour to the festivities. 569 00:36:39,077 --> 00:36:41,060 - Oh, St John. - Your Royal Highness. 570 00:36:46,284 --> 00:36:48,368 Cecil. Deborah Canterville’s grandson. 571 00:36:48,449 --> 00:36:50,387 Cecil. Good to see you. 572 00:36:50,820 --> 00:36:54,186 Not sure about the opposition. Is that it? 573 00:36:54,267 --> 00:36:55,843 Appears to be, Your Highness. 574 00:37:02,323 --> 00:37:04,043 Have they forgotten the words? 575 00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:10,896 With freedom’s holy light 576 00:37:11,010 --> 00:37:15,755 To sing with heart and voice 577 00:37:16,008 --> 00:37:21,303 Great God our King 578 00:37:22,533 --> 00:37:23,749 Very good! 579 00:37:24,771 --> 00:37:26,501 Here we go, Canterville. 580 00:37:29,167 --> 00:37:30,528 Good luck, chaps. 581 00:37:31,567 --> 00:37:33,632 Right. Let’s see what they’re made of. 582 00:37:33,713 --> 00:37:36,944 Oh, how marvellous. Which one’s which? 583 00:37:41,430 --> 00:37:43,371 Go, Canterville! 584 00:37:44,037 --> 00:37:45,556 - Come on! - Go, Cantervilles. 585 00:37:45,637 --> 00:37:47,457 - Pitch it up. - Concentrate. 586 00:37:47,538 --> 00:37:48,710 Good luck, dad. 587 00:37:49,348 --> 00:37:50,308 Go on. 588 00:37:51,219 --> 00:37:52,641 Nice throw, dad. 589 00:37:55,485 --> 00:37:57,170 Never mind, Hiram, off you go. 590 00:37:58,176 --> 00:37:59,616 Catch it, come on. 591 00:38:03,244 --> 00:38:04,277 Catch it! 592 00:38:04,717 --> 00:38:06,543 Here we go, Canterville, and again. 593 00:38:06,843 --> 00:38:08,256 Do you like cricket? 594 00:38:08,789 --> 00:38:11,235 Until a few weeks ago I knew nothing about it. 595 00:38:11,524 --> 00:38:15,185 But since then I’ve grown to genuinely detest it. 596 00:38:15,365 --> 00:38:16,624 Oh, snap. 597 00:38:17,464 --> 00:38:20,737 I had my day all planned — catching up on this week’s 598 00:38:20,818 --> 00:38:22,327 "Cash in the Attic." 599 00:38:23,014 --> 00:38:26,082 I should never have let my husband talk me into this. 600 00:38:26,214 --> 00:38:27,555 I know the feeling. 601 00:38:30,123 --> 00:38:31,097 Got this. 602 00:38:35,177 --> 00:38:36,843 Run, Charity, Run. 603 00:38:38,674 --> 00:38:40,627 - Catch it. - Well played. 604 00:38:45,168 --> 00:38:47,429 Ok, Canterville. Heads up. 605 00:38:47,776 --> 00:38:49,976 - Poor dad. - I missed that, sorry. 606 00:38:50,066 --> 00:38:53,617 Oh, hopeless. They don’t have the numbers to cope. 607 00:38:54,095 --> 00:38:57,369 I say, it’s quite fun really. Which one’s which? 608 00:39:06,859 --> 00:39:09,772 Cecil, yes, please, we certainly need you… 609 00:39:13,843 --> 00:39:15,046 Catch it. 610 00:39:20,029 --> 00:39:21,344 What’s happening, Tommy? 611 00:39:21,425 --> 00:39:24,500 It seems young Cecil’s decided to even up the teams, Ma’am. 612 00:39:24,581 --> 00:39:27,659 Very sporting. Top chap you’ve got there. 613 00:39:27,838 --> 00:39:30,057 Yay, Cecil, yay. 614 00:39:30,599 --> 00:39:32,066 Stupid boy. 615 00:39:33,354 --> 00:39:36,238 - Would you like some popcorn? - Why? 616 00:39:36,319 --> 00:39:38,584 It’s traditional at American sporting events. 617 00:39:39,220 --> 00:39:40,863 I find it helps with the boredom. 618 00:39:40,943 --> 00:39:43,853 Cecil, get in close. Forward short leg. 619 00:39:43,934 --> 00:39:45,125 - Good call. - Yeh. 620 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,060 Right in his eyeline, put him off. 621 00:39:50,877 --> 00:39:54,622 Right, here we go, Canterville — come on! Pitch it right up. 622 00:39:58,695 --> 00:40:01,245 - Right in his eyeline, put him off. - Come on then. 623 00:40:01,633 --> 00:40:02,975 Here we go, Canterville. 624 00:40:04,215 --> 00:40:05,581 - You’ve got this - Come on. 625 00:40:11,913 --> 00:40:14,561 - Oh, no. - Oh, that’s going to hurt a bit isn’t it. 626 00:40:14,642 --> 00:40:15,615 Moppy! 627 00:40:17,005 --> 00:40:18,721 Shouldn’t someone do something? 628 00:40:18,802 --> 00:40:20,355 Yo, how are you? 629 00:40:20,436 --> 00:40:21,933 - I’m ok. - Sure? 630 00:40:22,014 --> 00:40:23,283 Are you all right? 631 00:40:25,268 --> 00:40:26,624 Are you all right? 632 00:40:27,591 --> 00:40:28,703 I’m fine. Good to go. 633 00:40:28,784 --> 00:40:31,496 Oh, he’s good to go! He’s good to go! 634 00:40:31,956 --> 00:40:32,828 Dad? 635 00:40:32,909 --> 00:40:35,520 You’re going nowhere. You did us proud, 636 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,659 but your match is over. Captain’s orders. 637 00:40:50,616 --> 00:40:53,657 - What’s happening, Tommy? - We’re halfway through the match, Ma’am. 638 00:40:53,737 --> 00:40:56,829 The Cantervilles are batting next, I don’t fancy their chances. 639 00:40:56,909 --> 00:40:58,069 Thank you, Tommy. 640 00:40:59,952 --> 00:41:02,167 I hope you didn’t give up the law to go into medicine. 641 00:41:02,247 --> 00:41:03,346 Funny. 642 00:41:04,380 --> 00:41:07,826 Why did you give it up? The real reason? 643 00:41:11,181 --> 00:41:12,760 I wanted to make a difference. 644 00:41:14,375 --> 00:41:16,975 Turns out I did only not for the better. 645 00:41:20,744 --> 00:41:25,404 I was interning for a non profit preparing for a big appellate case. 646 00:41:25,485 --> 00:41:27,049 Can I have that in British? 647 00:41:27,949 --> 00:41:31,814 A charity investigating miscarriages of justice. 648 00:41:33,093 --> 00:41:37,294 Kayla was an eighteen year old accused of killing her stepfather. 649 00:41:38,547 --> 00:41:40,025 It was clear self defence 650 00:41:40,106 --> 00:41:42,892 but the prosecution pressed for first degree murder 651 00:41:42,973 --> 00:41:44,565 and it wasn’t looking good. 652 00:41:45,685 --> 00:41:48,691 Until I found an unused legal precedent. 653 00:41:49,664 --> 00:41:51,057 So what happened? 654 00:41:52,048 --> 00:41:54,371 I made a mistake with the evidence. 655 00:41:55,697 --> 00:41:56,947 It was minor 656 00:41:57,028 --> 00:42:00,400 but enough to get the whole argument declared inadmissible 657 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,534 and threw into doubt the line of defence. 658 00:42:04,260 --> 00:42:09,174 Kayla was found guilty and sentenced to life without parole. 659 00:42:11,553 --> 00:42:15,294 18 years old and she’ll spend the rest of her life in prison because of me. 660 00:42:15,614 --> 00:42:18,377 You can’t let one mistake destroy your future. 661 00:42:19,148 --> 00:42:20,734 You sound like my mother. 662 00:42:21,893 --> 00:42:24,358 At least she didn’t bolt when you were in nappies. 663 00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:29,861 I’m sorry, that was super tactless… 664 00:42:30,711 --> 00:42:31,680 It’s ok. 665 00:42:33,004 --> 00:42:34,200 I barely remember her. 666 00:42:35,416 --> 00:42:37,240 Except she smelt of freesias. 667 00:42:39,593 --> 00:42:41,597 I’ve always hated the smell of freesias… 668 00:42:48,556 --> 00:42:50,264 What do you want out of life? 669 00:42:52,261 --> 00:42:53,612 I don’t want my epitaph to read… 670 00:42:53,692 --> 00:42:57,391 "Here lies Cecil Canterville, born with a silver spoon in his mouth." 671 00:42:58,673 --> 00:42:59,597 I want to change the way 672 00:42:59,677 --> 00:43:01,812 Featherstonehaugh’s been run for centuries. 673 00:43:02,576 --> 00:43:03,942 Green agriculture. 674 00:43:04,505 --> 00:43:06,192 Renewable energy sources. 675 00:43:06,685 --> 00:43:09,392 Permaculture. Aquaponics and hydroponics. 676 00:43:09,473 --> 00:43:12,264 Crop rotation and polycultures. Sorry… 677 00:43:13,612 --> 00:43:14,960 I sound a right bore. 678 00:43:16,933 --> 00:43:18,045 What’s next for you? 679 00:43:19,862 --> 00:43:21,818 That’s the million dollar question. 680 00:43:26,650 --> 00:43:27,788 Feeling better? 681 00:43:33,767 --> 00:43:37,075 Remember we’re three players short so make every ball count. 682 00:43:37,567 --> 00:43:39,299 Hiram and Django in first 683 00:43:39,533 --> 00:43:41,739 followed by me then Reverend Dampier, 684 00:43:41,859 --> 00:43:45,106 Frank, Patience, Theo and Charity, all right? 685 00:43:45,872 --> 00:43:47,013 Go On! 686 00:43:48,367 --> 00:43:51,947 Canterville, Canterville! 687 00:43:54,825 --> 00:43:55,959 Good luck, dad. 688 00:44:01,929 --> 00:44:04,485 - Good try, dad. - Never mind, Hiram, unlucky. 689 00:44:05,228 --> 00:44:06,572 Good luck, Mr. Lovell. 690 00:44:09,502 --> 00:44:11,479 Wish I understood the rules more, Tommy. 691 00:44:11,559 --> 00:44:15,454 Canterville need 91 runs with their best batsman injured, Ma’am. 692 00:44:15,535 --> 00:44:19,033 - Thank you, Tommy. - It’s hardly much of a contest. 693 00:44:20,068 --> 00:44:22,015 It is rather embarrassing. 694 00:44:25,684 --> 00:44:27,159 - Got this. - Come on. 695 00:44:27,769 --> 00:44:28,728 Come on. 696 00:44:31,075 --> 00:44:33,432 They’re on the brink of a batting collapse. 697 00:44:34,019 --> 00:44:36,321 It’s all over before it’s started. 698 00:44:36,937 --> 00:44:37,992 Not quite. 699 00:44:45,542 --> 00:44:48,637 Sorry we’re late. It took me a while to round everyone up. 700 00:44:49,064 --> 00:44:50,609 Oh, God bless you, Elvis. 701 00:44:50,690 --> 00:44:53,720 Your arrival couldn’t be more timely as I was just going in… 702 00:44:57,651 --> 00:44:58,977 Here we go, Canterville. 703 00:44:59,058 --> 00:45:00,031 Got this. 704 00:45:00,854 --> 00:45:01,871 Come on. 705 00:45:23,513 --> 00:45:25,171 What’s happening, Tommy? 706 00:45:25,252 --> 00:45:27,184 - That’s the village cavalry out… - Oh, Bravo. 707 00:45:27,264 --> 00:45:28,875 … it’s down to the last three batsmen now. 708 00:45:28,955 --> 00:45:31,082 - They went out fighting. - Come on, boys. 709 00:45:31,592 --> 00:45:32,709 Got this. 710 00:45:41,019 --> 00:45:43,330 Oh, dear, poor chap has run his brother out. 711 00:45:43,411 --> 00:45:45,891 - Sorry. - Yeah, right. Octopus hands… 712 00:45:45,978 --> 00:45:47,862 It’s down to Charity and Theo now, 713 00:45:48,135 --> 00:45:51,441 6 balls remaining and they need 7 runs to win the match. 714 00:45:51,522 --> 00:45:54,698 - Well, that sounds achievable. - Oh, I wouldn’t get your hopes up. 715 00:45:54,778 --> 00:45:57,497 The last two are usually last for a reason. 716 00:46:10,028 --> 00:46:11,622 This came in at the post office. 717 00:46:11,702 --> 00:46:14,689 Special delivery. It looked important so er… 718 00:46:15,050 --> 00:46:17,300 Hmm. Thank you. 719 00:46:31,018 --> 00:46:33,561 Reminds me of the Ashes in 1981. 720 00:46:33,642 --> 00:46:36,334 Last ball, Ma’am, and Canterville need to hit a 4. 721 00:46:36,415 --> 00:46:38,194 It’s actually rather thrilling! 722 00:46:52,263 --> 00:46:53,307 He’s done it. 723 00:46:59,165 --> 00:47:00,218 Bravo. 724 00:47:00,455 --> 00:47:02,785 Jolly well played… 725 00:47:08,196 --> 00:47:09,540 That was amazing. 726 00:47:09,884 --> 00:47:11,346 You guys were great. 727 00:47:20,347 --> 00:47:23,995 You’ve more than done your bit, Caro, I’m sure you don’t need to stay. 728 00:47:24,282 --> 00:47:27,324 Well, Bluey can phone ahead and tell his cook to have something waiting. 729 00:47:27,404 --> 00:47:31,493 Not ruddy likely. Looks like the party’s just getting started. 730 00:47:40,226 --> 00:47:45,792 I used to think maybe you loved me now, baby, I’m sure… 731 00:47:48,890 --> 00:47:54,405 And I just can’t wait till the day when you knock on my door… 732 00:47:57,590 --> 00:48:03,203 Now every time I go for the mail box gotta hold myself down 733 00:48:04,716 --> 00:48:06,103 Оh, bravo. 734 00:48:06,338 --> 00:48:11,964 And I just can’t wait till you write me you’re coming around 735 00:48:13,970 --> 00:48:16,569 I’m walking on sunshine… 736 00:48:16,650 --> 00:48:21,080 Woah, I’m walking on sunshine… 737 00:48:21,161 --> 00:48:26,809 Woah, I’m walking on sunshine, woah 738 00:48:27,056 --> 00:48:33,614 It’s starting to feel good! Ooh, yeah, it’s starting to feel good! 739 00:48:35,766 --> 00:48:37,984 It’s starting to feel good! 740 00:50:06,346 --> 00:50:08,619 Bravo, Mrs. Otis, bravo. 741 00:50:11,893 --> 00:50:17,568 I don’t want you back for a weekend or back for a day… 742 00:50:20,436 --> 00:50:27,270 Сos baby I just want you back and I want you to stay… 743 00:50:28,076 --> 00:50:32,341 I’m walking on sunshine… Woah 744 00:50:32,632 --> 00:50:36,562 I’m walking on sunshine… Woah 745 00:50:36,959 --> 00:50:41,112 I’m walking on sunshine… Woah 746 00:50:41,193 --> 00:50:47,628 It’s starting to feel good Oh yeah, it’s starting to feel good 59853

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