All language subtitles for Star.Trek.TNG.S02E04.The.Outrageous.Okona.1080p.BluRay.REMUX.AVC.DTS-HD.MA.7.1-PrivateHD-HI

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:06,672 PICARD: Captain's log, stardate 42402.7 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,508 We are traveling in the Omega Sagitta System 3 00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:14,138 traversing between twin planets that form the coalition of Madena. 4 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:16,807 Both worlds are populated by a humanoid race 5 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,768 which colonized the planets two centuries ago 6 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:23,689 and which now co-exist under a precarious but successful treaty. 7 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:24,940 [COMPUTER BEEPING] 8 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,860 Unidentified vessel approaching. 9 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:32,156 [COMPUTER BEEPING] 10 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:37,286 Sensor readings show it to be a small Class Nine vessel. 11 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,955 Probably an interplanetary cargo ship. 12 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,791 One life sign aboard, sir. 13 00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:45,794 It appears to be humanoid. 14 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:49,131 - I have its call sign now, sir. - WORF: Confirmed. 15 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,842 Armed with lasers only. 16 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,761 Its cargo holds are empty. 17 00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:57,014 The readout shows its guidance system is malfunctioning. 18 00:00:57,182 --> 00:01:00,309 The pilot is attempting to hold course manually. 19 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:03,145 I recommend we set the Enterprise on an intercept course 20 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,022 in case he needs emergency assistance. 21 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,774 Make it so, Mr. Crusher. 22 00:01:06,983 --> 00:01:08,776 [COMPUTER BEEPS] 23 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,630 We are in position now, captain. 24 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:31,340 Open hailing frequencies. 25 00:01:31,508 --> 00:01:34,676 - Hailing frequencies open. - On viewer. 26 00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:37,846 This is the USS Enterprise. Captain Jean-Luc Picard. 27 00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:40,349 OKONA: And this is the cargo carrier Erstwhile. 28 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,810 Captain Okona at your service, sir. 29 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:45,020 There's no need for your phasers, captain. 30 00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:48,482 I'm harmless and not quite yet ready for a mercy killing. 31 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,859 You were never considered a danger, captain. 32 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:55,781 Oh, that's a shame. I can remember when I was at least considered a risk. 33 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,451 I'm the owner and operator of this craft, 34 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,121 and since we both know that you've already scanned it, 35 00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,664 you know I'm alone and empty. 36 00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:08,752 Which is truly a rare occasion for a man of my charm and talent. 37 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,379 Mute main viewer. 38 00:02:11,005 --> 00:02:13,340 - Counselor? - TROI: His emotions suggest 39 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:18,178 he's mischievous, irreverent, and somewhat brazen. 40 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:22,641 The word that seems to best describe him is rogue. 41 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,102 Rogue? 42 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:29,773 Ah. Cad, knave, rake, rascal, villain, wild elephant-- 43 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:33,944 Yes, Data, but there is no malevolence or ill will. 44 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:39,324 Audio on. Do you have a burnout in your guidance system, captain? 45 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,828 Whoa. Since you're able to diagnose my problems, 46 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,413 how about helping me fix them? 47 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:48,917 Captain, we can easily repair the type of system he uses. 48 00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,253 We can accommodate you, captain. 49 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:54,590 This is the First Officer. If you prepare to shut down your engines, 50 00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,884 we can lock on the tractor and beam you here. 51 00:02:57,051 --> 00:03:00,179 Sir, recommend limited access to our ship. 52 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,472 - PICARD: Agreed. - Data, lock on the tractor beam. 53 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,808 Transporter Chief, prepare to beam him aboard. 54 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,518 ROBINSON: Ready on your command, sir. 55 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:10,898 Excuse me, commander, is that a woman's voice I hear? 56 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,153 Yes. Now please follow Commander Riker's instructions 57 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,739 so our ship can get back to its normal routine. 58 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,699 OKONA: Whatever you say, captain. 59 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:22,576 Something funny? 60 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:26,163 Well, the unexpected is our normal routine. 61 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:50,938 PICARD: Space, the final frontier. 62 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:55,400 These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. 63 00:03:55,568 --> 00:04:00,781 Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds, 64 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:05,744 to seek out new life and new civilizations, 65 00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:10,457 to boldly go where no one has gone before. 66 00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,103 Hold it steady, Wesley. 67 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:16,148 - Ready to link up on my command. - Aye, sir. 68 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,860 Easy, easy. 69 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:26,408 Engage. 70 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,956 Captain Okona, shut down your engines. 71 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,583 - OKONA: Understood. - Transporter Room, 72 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,543 prepare for the beaming. We're on our way. 73 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,004 Wesley, Data, let's go. 74 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,480 Your weapons, please. 75 00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:00,317 A Klingon security officer? 76 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,526 WORF: Yes. 77 00:06:01,694 --> 00:06:03,862 No wars available, eh? 78 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:18,085 It's more a piece of jewelry than a weapon. A remembrance. 79 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:25,467 Welcome aboard, Captain Okona. I'm Commander Riker. 80 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,719 If you'll turn over the inoperative part to Commander Data, 81 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:28,970 we can begin repairs. 82 00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:31,473 I'd be most happy to do the work myself, commander. 83 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:33,642 I'm sort of the hands-on type. 84 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,812 I think you'd find the tools we use rather unusual, sir. 85 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:39,981 I can believe that. May I at least watch? 86 00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:42,984 - That can be arranged. - Good, then. 87 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:46,071 Commander, I leave this in your capable hands. 88 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,825 Sir, this is Commander Data. I'm just an Acting Ensign. 89 00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:52,369 Well, Acting Ensigns have names, don't they? 90 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,247 Wesley. Wesley Crusher. 91 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,458 Nice to meet you, Acting Ensign, Wesley, Wesley Crusher. 92 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,380 And thank you 93 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:08,885 for beaming me here and enabling me to see a truly beautiful woman. 94 00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:11,513 You have the majestic carriage and loveliness 95 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:15,100 that could surely be traced back to the noblest families. 96 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,063 Well, I'm sure you've said that to many ladies before 97 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,607 and it was no more true then than it is now. 98 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:26,027 But it's how I say it that's really important. 99 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,612 The warmth, 100 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:31,032 the attraction that I have for you. 101 00:07:31,492 --> 00:07:34,911 The attraction that we share. 102 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:42,127 Mr. Okona appears to have excellent vision, 103 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,296 as well as a healthy libido. 104 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:45,755 [TALKING lNDISTINCTLY] 105 00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:46,965 RIKER: Captain Okona, 106 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:51,136 if you follow Commander Data, you can get started right away. 107 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,475 [SIGHS] 108 00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,856 Now, that's sex appeal. 109 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:06,943 Sexual attraction in this context is not a part of my programming. 110 00:08:07,111 --> 00:08:09,070 I am an android. 111 00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:14,951 Well, then, have you seen any good-looking computers lately? 112 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,790 That's a joke. It's funny. 113 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:24,044 Oh. Of course it is. 114 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:26,463 [LAUGHING] 115 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:37,516 - Will that do what the original did? - It sure will. And better. 116 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:38,934 Let me show you. 117 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:42,312 On your old one here, the Zelebium contacts wore down and then fused. 118 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,900 Now what I've done is replace them with Tricellite. 119 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:50,278 Tricellite isn't available in this system if I ever had to replace it. 120 00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:53,490 Don't worry, you won't. Your ship will never outlast this part. 121 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:55,784 Because of the part or the way I fly my ship? 122 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:56,952 [LAUGHING] 123 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:59,412 Well, this part. But the stress test did show 124 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:03,917 that you tend to push your ship a little beyond its designed capabilities. 125 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,836 Blame the pattern of my life, Lieutenant La Forge. 126 00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:09,214 Because it relegates me to cargo carrying 127 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,092 rather than the grand explorations you enjoy, 128 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:15,929 I am forced to add a measure of flamboyancy and zest 129 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,807 to the doldrums of my existence. 130 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,440 - Have you ever been cold? - No. 131 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:30,735 - Warm then? - No. 132 00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,989 - What about drunk, ever do that? - From alcohol? 133 00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,992 - That is not possible for me, sir. - Pity. 134 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:38,952 What about love? 135 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:43,415 - The act or the emotion? - They're both the same. 136 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:46,501 I believe that statement to be inaccurate, sir. 137 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,462 Maybe. 138 00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,548 Life 139 00:09:51,882 --> 00:09:55,343 is like loading twice your cargo weight onto your spacecraft. 140 00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:56,886 If it's canaries, 141 00:09:57,054 --> 00:10:00,515 and you can keep half of them flying all the time. 142 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,310 You're all right. 143 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,313 I doubt that statement is entirely accurate either, sir. 144 00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:09,357 Accurate? That was a joke I just told you. 145 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,152 I do not understand. 146 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,071 - You don't know what a joke is? - Of course I do. 147 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:18,033 It is a witticism, a gag, a bon mot, 148 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,702 a fluctuation of words concluding with a trick ending. 149 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:24,039 That's the dictionary meaning. I'm talking about humor, fun. 150 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:25,874 Do you know what funny is? 151 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,837 Where is 806? 152 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,382 Right over there, sir. Why? 153 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,845 You probably wouldn't understand that either. 154 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,772 ROBINSON: Hello, there. 155 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:13,588 - Status on the repair? - Working on it. 156 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,467 Commander, what do you think of Captain Okona? 157 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,970 Well, Okona is an interesting man certainly. 158 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,223 We've seen how he handles his ship. 159 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,934 Apparently he knows how to handle people as well. 160 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,435 Then why does he work alone? 161 00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:30,438 He's a man who lives his life by his own rules. 162 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:34,150 He does what he does by choice, by his choice. 163 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,778 Someday you'll make yours. 164 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,572 I already have. 165 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:51,710 So you agree with Okona that I am missing a very important human factor. 166 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:56,548 I never said that. I simply said that I've never seen you laugh. 167 00:11:56,716 --> 00:12:01,511 I am capable of that function, when it is expected of me. 168 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,932 Data, do you even know what a joke is? 169 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:09,894 Of course I do. It is a witticism, a gag, a bon mot, 170 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,730 - a fluctuation-- - Stop. 171 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,149 Look, there's just you and I here. 172 00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:17,193 We're talking, we're having an intimate conversation. 173 00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:21,656 Why? Because you're a droid and I'm a noid. 174 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:24,242 - But why? - Because that's what I am. 175 00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:28,663 - Have I said something to offend you? - No. 176 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,248 Then why are you annoyed? 177 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:37,297 Because you're a droid and I'm a noid. 178 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,800 - Humanoid. - Yes. 179 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,343 - You told a joke? - Yes. 180 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,679 - I am not laughing. - Yes. 181 00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:49,851 - Perhaps the joke was not funny. - No. The joke was funny. 182 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,311 It's you, Data. 183 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,856 - Are you sure? - Yes. 184 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:57,859 I agree. What do I do? 185 00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:02,197 Well, under normal circumstances, I'd say seek a higher power. 186 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:06,159 But in your case, probably a smarter computer is in order. 187 00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:16,211 Computer, I wish to know more about humor. 188 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:21,049 Why certain combinations of words and actions make humans laugh. 189 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:24,052 COMPUTER: Source material on that subject is extensive. 190 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,553 Please specify. 191 00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:30,350 Animated presentation, humanoid, interaction required. 192 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,812 Physical humor, cerebral or general raconteur? 193 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:39,067 Of all performers available, who's considered the funniest? 194 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,236 Twenty third century, Stan Orega, 195 00:13:41,403 --> 00:13:44,531 specialized in jokes about quantum mathematics. 196 00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:47,116 No. Too esoteric. 197 00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:50,411 - More generic. - Accessing. 198 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,000 That one. 199 00:13:56,168 --> 00:14:03,132 - RW96321, 20th century. - Program complete. You may enter. 200 00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:18,857 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much. 201 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,776 You've been great. I'd like to take you all home with me. 202 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,696 Unfortunately, I took the last audience home and there's no more room. 203 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,074 Heh. Buh-bum. But thank you, really, thank you. 204 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,869 And thank you for bringing me here. What's up? 205 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,038 Mr. Comic, I wish to know what is funny. 206 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:38,418 Funny? I don't know. It's a matter of opinion, I guess. 207 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,587 Tip O'Neill in a dress. 208 00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:44,090 Some people say words that end with a K are funny. 209 00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:47,719 A briefcase that looks like a fish. Personally, I find that hysterical. 210 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:51,222 Tip O'Neill. Accessing. 211 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:58,813 Twentieth century male, politician, overweight, wearing female clothing. 212 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:01,900 Carrying a valise that looks like a fish. 213 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:08,823 So the juxtaposition of gender and an amphibian briefcase is funny. 214 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:12,869 Well, I think whatever makes you laugh is funny. 215 00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:18,917 Nothing makes me laugh. I wish to learn. 216 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,628 Well, how much time do we have here? 217 00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:24,464 - Unlimited. - We're gonna need it. 218 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:28,885 - Because you, pal, are a tough room. - Tough room? 219 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:34,140 Ah. A colloquialism meaning a severe, rigid, close-minded audience. 220 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:38,019 I understand. I will attempt to be an easy room. 221 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:42,523 - Show me what is funny. - All right, you're on. Uh... 222 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,944 Jerry Lewis. Jerry Lewis. 223 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,491 [IMITATES JERRY LEWIS YELLING] 224 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,243 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 225 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,871 Ooh. Ooh, ah. 226 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,790 Mr. Robot, would you like to come up-- 227 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,376 - I'm an android. - Oh, I'm terribly sorry. 228 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,795 Mr. Android, here, teeth. Put them in your mouth. 229 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,089 Come, come up, Mr... Where did he go? 230 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:08,883 Where, where did... Mr. What, Mr. And-- 231 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:12,679 Here, try if you would. We go... We do... Hah. 232 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,222 - Ha. - No. 233 00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,431 - Hai-ee. - Ha-hai. 234 00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,558 - Ahh! Ahh! - Hai! Hai! 235 00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,519 [BOTH GRUNTING] 236 00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:23,731 [MUMBLING] 237 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,776 That is considered to... 238 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,988 That is considered to be funny? 239 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:32,407 Actually it brought the house down in Teaneck. 240 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,575 Ah. A word that ends in K. 241 00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:37,537 So if you put funny teeth in your mouth 242 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:41,916 and jump around like an idiot, that is considered funny. 243 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,627 - I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. - Data. 244 00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:48,172 Data, look, did you ever consider juggling, 245 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:52,218 - weird bird calls, something like that? - That does not apply. 246 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:55,054 I simply want to know what is funny. 247 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:58,683 I want to involve myself in other peoples' laughter. 248 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,685 I wish to join in. 249 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,145 Well, I think that's nice. 250 00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,689 Let's put the physical stuff aside for a while. 251 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,733 And we'll do some jokes. 252 00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,444 Not my forte, but I think that would work for you. 253 00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:13,698 If you would just have a seat and we'll try some jokes like, I don't know, 254 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,491 we'll start with the classics. 255 00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:17,368 See, there's a traveling salesman, 256 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:18,995 he's going down the road, his car breaks down. 257 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:20,580 Access faster. 258 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,165 [SPEAKING RAPIDLY] It's probably best when you do something like this, 259 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,708 you need a little cigar. Because it's, kind of, a prop, 260 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,251 kind of thing, you got to go like this... 261 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:28,046 Faster. Move to maximum speed. 262 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,298 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 263 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,769 A guy walks into the doctor's office. 264 00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,063 The doctor tells him, "You need an operation." 265 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,065 The guy says, "I want a second opinion". 266 00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:50,068 The doctor says, "Okay, you're ugly too." Buh-dum-boom. 267 00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:55,406 - Wasn't that funny? - No. 268 00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:06,667 Data, you spoiled the joke. 269 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,878 I mean, it could have been your timing. 270 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,880 My timing is digital. 271 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:12,673 [CHUCKLES] 272 00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,258 What? 273 00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,804 - That's funny. - Why? 274 00:18:19,014 --> 00:18:22,225 It would take too long to explain. Tell me another joke. 275 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,896 A monk, a clone and a Ferengi decided to go bowling together-- 276 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,857 PICARD: Commander Data, report to the Main Bridge immediately. 277 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,194 DATA: I will be back. 278 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,615 Bring new jokes. 279 00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:47,458 We have an unidentified at twelve-mark-four. 280 00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:52,171 No response to our inquiries. 281 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,508 Extend hailing frequencies, all languages, all channels. 282 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:56,717 WORF: Extending. 283 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:59,595 DATA: Sensors show it to be an interplanetary vessel, sir. 284 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:04,517 - Class Seven. Crew complement, 26. - WORF: Still no response. 285 00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,247 [COMPUTER BEEPING] 286 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:30,293 Captain, they are now locking lasers on us. 287 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,712 - Lasers? - WORF: Yes, sir. 288 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,214 Lasers can't even penetrate our navigation shields. 289 00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:36,632 Don't they know that? 290 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,886 Regulations do call for a Yellow Alert. 291 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:42,847 Hmm. Very old regulation. 292 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:46,559 Well, make it so, Number One. And reduce speed. 293 00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,853 Drop main shields as well. 294 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,147 May I ask why, sir? 295 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,734 In case we decide to surrender to them, Number One. 296 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,489 [GROWLS] 297 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,583 Still no response to our hail, sir. 298 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:13,920 It is slowing and holding its position, captain. 299 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:17,465 Sir, we are now being hailed. 300 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,258 Viewer on. 301 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,302 [COMPUTER BEEPS] 302 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:25,306 Federation vessel, you have no rights in this solar system. 303 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,099 I am Debin of Planet Atlec, 304 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:30,436 ordering you to heave to and prepare to be boarded. 305 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:35,608 Shades of Gulliver's Travels. He actually meant it. 306 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:39,445 But he is right. We are in their solar system. 307 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,075 - Open a channel. - Open, sir. 308 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,829 I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. 309 00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:51,916 For what reason have you locked your weapons on us? 310 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:55,503 Enterprise, you are towing the spacecraft of a known criminal. 311 00:20:57,798 --> 00:21:01,926 He was in need of emergency repair. It was our obligation to assist. 312 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:06,639 You have a man aboard by the name of Okona. I want him. 313 00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:08,599 On what authority? 314 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:11,560 He is guilty of crimes committed on the Planet Atlec. 315 00:21:11,728 --> 00:21:15,856 I expect him to be turned over to my authority immediately. 316 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,693 Mute. 317 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:22,363 - What do you think, counselor? - He believes what he's saying. 318 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,073 His anger is genuine. 319 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,493 Open. 320 00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:32,915 What crimes are you referring to? 321 00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:37,211 Neither important nor necessary. I want Okona now! 322 00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:40,256 Captain, we have another Class Seven armed spacecraft 323 00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,508 approaching from the opposite sector. 324 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:44,719 Another ship from Atlec? 325 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:47,346 Similar in specifications and capabilities, 326 00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:51,058 but a variation in markings and hailing language. 327 00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:53,936 Debin, hold this position. Viewer off. 328 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,606 Data, identify. 329 00:21:57,774 --> 00:22:02,236 Sensors indicate it's a security vessel from the Planet Straleb. 330 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,448 Another glob fly. 331 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:07,700 Glob fly? 332 00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:10,745 A Klingon fly, half the size of an Earth mosquito, 333 00:22:10,912 --> 00:22:14,040 with no sting and buzzing sound like this, mm-- 334 00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:17,126 Data, viewer on. Hailing frequencies. 335 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:18,419 Open, sir. 336 00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:21,088 I am Secretary Kushell 337 00:22:21,256 --> 00:22:24,133 from the Legation of Unity of the Planet Straleb. 338 00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:26,177 I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard. 339 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:29,138 We know who you are, Captain Picard. 340 00:22:29,306 --> 00:22:31,265 We've been monitoring your communications 341 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:35,561 and we know of the demands made by Debin of the Planet Atlec. 342 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,148 Then you're aware that we have no hostile intentions. 343 00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:42,651 You only have to concede to one demand. 344 00:22:43,987 --> 00:22:47,114 That word demand has a tone of finality. 345 00:22:47,282 --> 00:22:50,242 It is a word I have chosen. 346 00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:54,997 We demand that you turn Okona over to us immediately. 347 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:58,417 Mute. 348 00:22:58,627 --> 00:23:01,420 Mr. Okona, to the bridge immediately. 349 00:23:01,588 --> 00:23:03,130 Open. 350 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,968 The same demand has been made by the Atlec legation. 351 00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:10,763 I have no interest in their request. 352 00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:14,517 But we intend to back up our legal rights to Okona. 353 00:23:15,268 --> 00:23:19,021 I would rather not escalate this situation any further. 354 00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:21,440 Our honor and prestige are at stake. 355 00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:23,317 We are prepared to take Okona by force 356 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:26,112 and die in the doing of it, if necessary. 357 00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:30,491 I trust that that can be avoided. 358 00:23:31,284 --> 00:23:34,495 I will respond to your request shortly. Viewer off. 359 00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:38,958 Captain Okona has not responded, sir. 360 00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:42,128 He's been reported in three different crew quarters. 361 00:23:42,295 --> 00:23:43,671 Find him. Get him up here. 362 00:23:44,172 --> 00:23:46,006 Yes, sir. 363 00:24:09,656 --> 00:24:12,241 You will come with me to the Main Bridge. 364 00:24:13,201 --> 00:24:15,536 I'm sure it can wait a few minutes. 365 00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,291 Now! 366 00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:32,636 I'd like that 367 00:24:35,807 --> 00:24:38,058 but I have my orders. 368 00:24:39,227 --> 00:24:41,061 Some other time. 369 00:24:45,609 --> 00:24:48,611 Remember what it took to drag me from your arms. 370 00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:09,965 Am I going to meet Captain Picard? 371 00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:11,217 [WORF CHUCKLES] 372 00:25:11,384 --> 00:25:14,678 - Definitely. - I say something funny? 373 00:25:25,857 --> 00:25:31,529 Captain Picard, this is Thadiun Okona. 374 00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:37,117 Mr. Okona, you were welcomed aboard 375 00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:39,286 without any undue investigation. 376 00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:43,332 In turn, it was assumed that you did not come under false pretenses. 377 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,251 It now seems that you may have done. 378 00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:47,044 Heh. Captain, 379 00:25:47,212 --> 00:25:50,714 if you mean my "socializing" with the members of the crew. 380 00:25:51,341 --> 00:25:53,092 PICARD: Mr. Okona, 381 00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:56,095 you are free to socialize with the members of my crew. 382 00:25:57,264 --> 00:25:59,598 I'm talking about a man named Debin. 383 00:26:00,725 --> 00:26:03,477 He's from Atlec. I've had dealings with some of his family. 384 00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:06,689 Then perhaps you can explain why his craft is threatening 385 00:26:06,856 --> 00:26:10,067 to attack us unless I give him custody of you. 386 00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:11,360 I can't. 387 00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:15,239 Then tell me why Kushell of the Planet Straleb 388 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:18,617 - is demanding the same thing. - He's here also? 389 00:26:18,868 --> 00:26:22,162 Mm-hm. And quite adamant. 390 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:26,625 Mr. Okona, what crimes are you accused of? 391 00:26:27,794 --> 00:26:30,212 I am not a criminal. 392 00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:31,797 Why do these men want you? 393 00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:33,299 Uh... 394 00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:36,093 I can't say. 395 00:26:36,761 --> 00:26:39,054 They are threatening to attack the Enterprise. 396 00:26:39,222 --> 00:26:41,140 They'd be crazy. They wouldn't stand a chance. 397 00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:42,725 Right! 398 00:26:45,478 --> 00:26:50,316 So you can offer no reason, why they are 399 00:26:50,483 --> 00:26:52,860 set on this provocative course? 400 00:26:55,530 --> 00:26:58,115 I can't think of one right now. 401 00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,200 On viewer. 402 00:27:00,660 --> 00:27:03,287 - Which ship? - What? Uh... 403 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,998 The first one. Captain Debin. 404 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:11,795 Captain, let me ask you again. What are Okona's crimes? 405 00:27:11,963 --> 00:27:13,839 That is not your concern. 406 00:27:14,007 --> 00:27:16,508 It is if you wish me to release him to you. 407 00:27:16,676 --> 00:27:19,178 All right. You want to know what he did? 408 00:27:19,346 --> 00:27:22,014 You want to know why I have chased him across this system? 409 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:24,850 All right, here. This is his crime. 410 00:27:29,564 --> 00:27:32,149 He dishonored my daughter. He took advantage of her. 411 00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:35,444 Then he ran off and left her carrying his bastard child. 412 00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:38,030 He'll return. And he'll do the right thing 413 00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:41,533 or I'll hunt him to the ends of the galaxy. 414 00:27:46,247 --> 00:27:47,873 PICARD: Captain's log supplemental. 415 00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:51,627 Some of the mystery surrounding this ancient morality play 416 00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:54,046 we've been dragged into has been revealed. 417 00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:58,425 One of Captain Okona's pursuers is an outraged father with a heartfelt, 418 00:27:58,593 --> 00:28:01,428 if arcane, sense of righteousness. 419 00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:03,138 Your advice, Counselor. 420 00:28:04,182 --> 00:28:07,851 We are dealing with ancient codes involving procreation. 421 00:28:08,019 --> 00:28:10,187 While they may appear meaningless to us, 422 00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:12,523 to Debin they represent his honor. 423 00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:15,651 He will fight, risking himself, his crew, 424 00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:18,404 his daughter, and her unborn child. 425 00:28:18,571 --> 00:28:21,240 You know, Captain, your Counselor is right. He will fight. 426 00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:24,243 The Captain of the other ship is demanding to be heard. 427 00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:29,123 I don't suppose you can give me any indication why this man wants you. 428 00:28:29,499 --> 00:28:30,874 [SIGHS] 429 00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:36,380 Let's put all this together. 430 00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:39,967 Lieutenant Worf, multiple image, full conference mode. 431 00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:42,720 - Let them all see each other. - Yes, sir. 432 00:28:43,304 --> 00:28:48,058 Here you are, Debin trying to save this criminal. 433 00:28:48,226 --> 00:28:50,978 My purpose is not your concern. 434 00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:53,480 - It is if it involves Okona. - PICARD: Gentlemen. 435 00:28:54,190 --> 00:28:56,650 Please, let's try and resolve this matter. 436 00:28:56,818 --> 00:28:57,860 Captain Kushell, 437 00:28:58,027 --> 00:29:00,446 what crime has Okona allegedly committed against you? 438 00:29:00,613 --> 00:29:04,616 He is a thief. He stole the Jewel of Thesia. 439 00:29:04,784 --> 00:29:08,412 - A national heritage. - A thing. An item. 440 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:11,290 My case involves the victimization of my daughter. 441 00:29:11,458 --> 00:29:13,041 And my honor. 442 00:29:13,209 --> 00:29:16,503 - I'll have Okona now. - He is mine. 443 00:29:16,671 --> 00:29:20,048 One at a time. Who accuses me of stealing? 444 00:29:20,216 --> 00:29:23,886 - I do. My son, Benzan and I. - Father, please. 445 00:29:24,053 --> 00:29:26,930 - He used you to become my friend. - He used my daughter. 446 00:29:27,098 --> 00:29:30,100 He used my son to plunder a national treasure! 447 00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:32,478 Mute. 448 00:29:32,687 --> 00:29:33,729 [MUTED DIALOGUE] 449 00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:47,618 Terminate communications. Come with me. 450 00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:56,335 Captain, you can't be afraid of what those two can do to your ship. 451 00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:57,544 No. 452 00:29:57,712 --> 00:30:00,422 They can fire until their lasers run dry and they wouldn't hurt the Enterprise. 453 00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:02,132 My predicament is what to do with you. 454 00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:03,550 I'm sorry. 455 00:30:03,718 --> 00:30:06,094 I'm sorry my ship broke down. I'm sorry you stopped to help. 456 00:30:06,262 --> 00:30:07,679 I'm sorry you're involved. 457 00:30:07,847 --> 00:30:11,475 But you're right. Whatever happens, however it goes, someone gets hurt. 458 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:14,102 Hand me over to Kushell, and Debin goes to war. 459 00:30:14,270 --> 00:30:16,814 And if I hand you over to Debin, it's the same thing. 460 00:30:17,273 --> 00:30:19,066 I wish I could... 461 00:30:22,570 --> 00:30:24,738 I wish I could make it easier. 462 00:30:24,906 --> 00:30:26,824 I'm sure you do. 463 00:30:29,118 --> 00:30:32,830 I'm not going to apologize for the way I am or how I live my life. 464 00:30:32,997 --> 00:30:37,125 But, just for the record, I did not steal the Jewel of Thesia. 465 00:30:37,293 --> 00:30:41,004 I am not a criminal, Captain, and as to the other business, 466 00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:45,676 that's between me and Yanar, no one else. 467 00:30:46,761 --> 00:30:48,303 In truth, I 468 00:30:48,471 --> 00:30:52,432 simply do not have authority in this matter. I'm not your judge, 469 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,060 nor is it my duty to arbitrate. 470 00:30:55,812 --> 00:30:59,064 But you are in my custody and that creates the dilemma. 471 00:30:59,232 --> 00:31:00,274 How about this? 472 00:31:03,152 --> 00:31:05,988 Do what you said. Fix my guidance system and let me leave. 473 00:31:07,156 --> 00:31:10,742 According to Starfleet regulations, that would be my only course of action. 474 00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:14,830 But their ships are faster than yours. I'm not doing you a favor. 475 00:31:14,998 --> 00:31:18,750 Captain, with all due respect, that's not your concern. 476 00:31:18,918 --> 00:31:23,046 Besides I can take care of myself. 477 00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:32,931 MAN: Let's have a look at that. 478 00:31:35,602 --> 00:31:37,936 You're quite a craftsman, Lieutenant La Forge. 479 00:31:38,104 --> 00:31:41,315 - How soon? - What's the rush? 480 00:31:41,482 --> 00:31:45,652 - I thought you liked it here. - I did. It stopped liking me. 481 00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:47,863 Time to disappear. 482 00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:50,824 - Where will you go? - What? 483 00:31:50,992 --> 00:31:52,534 I said, where will you go? 484 00:31:52,702 --> 00:31:56,371 A new place, if I make it. 485 00:31:56,748 --> 00:32:00,292 - Don't you ever stay anywhere? - Not for long. 486 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,713 - I couldn't be like that. - Oh? 487 00:32:05,048 --> 00:32:07,466 I mean, always being alone. 488 00:32:07,634 --> 00:32:11,094 Commander Riker says you choose to live the way you do, and like it. 489 00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:12,679 Is that what he says? 490 00:32:13,473 --> 00:32:14,973 Yeah. 491 00:32:16,184 --> 00:32:19,102 It would be difficult for me to be leaving all the time. 492 00:32:19,646 --> 00:32:23,148 I'd miss my friends, the people I love. 493 00:32:24,734 --> 00:32:27,402 I guess leaving's gotten easy for you. 494 00:32:29,238 --> 00:32:31,740 I seem to have a way of using up a place. 495 00:32:32,992 --> 00:32:34,743 I wasn't talking about a place. 496 00:32:36,329 --> 00:32:39,331 I know. I know what you were talking about. 497 00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:41,124 LA FORGE: It's ready. 498 00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:46,546 You should be able to install this in roughly five minutes. 499 00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:49,549 [SIGHS] 500 00:32:50,301 --> 00:32:52,970 Like you said, Geordi, what's the rush? 501 00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:58,100 I have some friends around here. I think it's time to make a stand. 502 00:33:14,325 --> 00:33:16,076 PICARD: Mr. Okona. 503 00:33:19,038 --> 00:33:21,623 Captain, I've decided not to leave. 504 00:33:21,791 --> 00:33:25,127 - Oh. - Don't worry. I'm not staying either. 505 00:33:25,294 --> 00:33:27,004 PICARD: Just what are your plans, Mr. Okona? 506 00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:29,172 I've decided to surrender myself. 507 00:33:30,091 --> 00:33:31,133 To which one? 508 00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:33,510 Ha-ha-ha. There's really only one option. 509 00:33:36,556 --> 00:33:38,140 Viewer on. 510 00:33:38,349 --> 00:33:39,766 [COMPUTER BEEPS] 511 00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:46,898 Gentlemen, communicating like this is very distracting. 512 00:33:47,066 --> 00:33:49,526 I suggest that we beam you up to the Enterprise 513 00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:51,611 and we'll resolve this face-to-face. 514 00:33:52,321 --> 00:33:53,572 Excellent. 515 00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:55,157 Agreed. 516 00:33:55,324 --> 00:33:58,243 Leave your weapons behind. Let's keep this civilized. 517 00:33:58,411 --> 00:34:00,996 Number One, you have the bridge. Counselor Troi, 518 00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:03,957 would you accompany me to Deck 14 conference room? 519 00:34:04,125 --> 00:34:07,836 - Worf, see to our guests. - WORF: Aye, sir. 520 00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:23,435 ROBINSON: They have no weapons. 521 00:34:23,853 --> 00:34:25,520 WORF: This way. 522 00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:45,791 - Okona, you are without shame. - For once I agree with Debin. 523 00:34:45,958 --> 00:34:47,918 You are without shame. 524 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:51,922 I trusted you. My son treated you like a brother. 525 00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:56,301 And then, to steal from us. I want him now. 526 00:34:56,469 --> 00:34:58,553 No. He's coming with me. 527 00:34:58,721 --> 00:35:01,014 Captain, my complaint was registered first. 528 00:35:01,182 --> 00:35:06,103 Now, please, please be calm. Lieutenant, thank you. 529 00:35:10,733 --> 00:35:13,902 Everyone is talking about me, and no one's talking to me. 530 00:35:16,489 --> 00:35:19,825 You all believe I stole the jewel. 531 00:35:19,992 --> 00:35:22,369 And it was I who fathered the child. 532 00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:26,164 You dare call my daughter a liar? 533 00:35:26,332 --> 00:35:29,960 And now I'm offered these two choices 534 00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:32,420 and given these two options 535 00:35:33,256 --> 00:35:38,552 condemnation as a thief or, marriage to the beautiful Yanar. 536 00:35:39,178 --> 00:35:41,930 I will take the more pleasant sentence. 537 00:35:44,016 --> 00:35:46,685 I will take Yanar as my wife. 538 00:35:46,853 --> 00:35:49,312 - No, you can't. - My son is right. 539 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,232 - You can't escape that way. - That's not what I mean. 540 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,818 It's not up to you nor to Okona. 541 00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:57,737 I've been dishonored. I will decide. 542 00:35:57,905 --> 00:35:59,114 YANAR: Wait. 543 00:35:59,282 --> 00:36:03,535 Since all of you believe Okona is the father of this child, then so be it. 544 00:36:08,124 --> 00:36:12,043 - I'll marry you. - No, you can't. 545 00:36:12,795 --> 00:36:16,256 - Yes, I can. - Okona is still a thief. 546 00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:20,427 No, he's not. Nothing has been stolen. 547 00:36:21,929 --> 00:36:26,057 The Jewel of Thesia has been taken into custody by its rightful heir. 548 00:36:26,225 --> 00:36:27,726 Me. 549 00:36:28,686 --> 00:36:31,271 I was to give it to Yanar as our pledge of marriage. 550 00:36:32,231 --> 00:36:33,315 Marriage? 551 00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:38,486 Yanar is carrying my child. 552 00:36:39,071 --> 00:36:42,532 Oh. You said it was Okona's. 553 00:36:44,493 --> 00:36:48,246 If I told you it was Benzan, you would have gone to war with his father. 554 00:36:48,623 --> 00:36:50,999 So I let you believe it was Okona. 555 00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:53,126 See how a man gets a reputation? 556 00:36:53,294 --> 00:36:56,963 If I had told you that I was giving the jewel to Debin's daughter, 557 00:36:57,131 --> 00:36:58,465 you'd have disowned me. 558 00:36:58,633 --> 00:37:00,717 Now we're hearing some truth. 559 00:37:00,885 --> 00:37:03,261 KUSHELL: So you let me chase Okona 560 00:37:03,429 --> 00:37:05,722 - when you knew he was innocent-- - Yes. 561 00:37:06,307 --> 00:37:10,018 Because I didn't believe for one moment that you could catch him. 562 00:37:10,186 --> 00:37:11,853 Well said. He never would have. 563 00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:14,689 Then once Yanar accepted the Jewel, 564 00:37:14,857 --> 00:37:18,526 - the marriage would have been made. - Well, I never got it. 565 00:37:18,694 --> 00:37:21,112 Then Okona does have the Jewel. 566 00:37:21,697 --> 00:37:25,325 I never had the chance to deliver it. 567 00:37:25,868 --> 00:37:28,745 Anyway, it's too late. I won't marry Benzan. 568 00:37:28,913 --> 00:37:30,705 Then you'll marry Okona. 569 00:37:31,499 --> 00:37:34,251 I won't marry anyone. 570 00:37:38,673 --> 00:37:40,507 I have reinstated the same program. 571 00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:42,717 Along with some new jokes, I hope. 572 00:37:42,885 --> 00:37:45,929 COMPUTER: Program complete. Enter when ready. 573 00:37:57,525 --> 00:37:59,150 Comic, continue. 574 00:37:59,694 --> 00:38:01,987 More freebies, huh? No cover, no minimum. 575 00:38:02,154 --> 00:38:03,738 Just, "Comic, continue"? 576 00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:06,408 So tell me, Data, what happened? 577 00:38:06,909 --> 00:38:08,618 - I told a joke. - And? 578 00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:09,828 No one laughed. 579 00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:11,538 No one? Nobody in the whole room? 580 00:38:11,706 --> 00:38:13,081 I was the whole room. 581 00:38:13,249 --> 00:38:14,791 She said I spoiled the joke. 582 00:38:14,959 --> 00:38:17,210 Actually, killed would have been a better word. 583 00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:19,004 I think I know what your problem is. 584 00:38:19,213 --> 00:38:21,923 You should always try out new material on an audience. 585 00:38:22,091 --> 00:38:25,802 He could be right. Perhaps an audience is what you need. 586 00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:30,390 Computer. 587 00:38:30,558 --> 00:38:34,519 Program an audience appropriate to this venue. 588 00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:36,730 [AUDIENCE CHATTERING] 589 00:38:39,025 --> 00:38:40,608 OKONA: Yanar... 590 00:38:46,282 --> 00:38:48,908 You're angry at the embarrassment of all this, 591 00:38:49,076 --> 00:38:52,620 and maybe the timing and the approach is not the most romantic, 592 00:38:52,788 --> 00:38:57,125 but I know you love Benzan, 593 00:38:57,668 --> 00:39:00,045 and I don't want to see you throw away that feeling 594 00:39:00,212 --> 00:39:02,714 because your parents have been quarreling for years 595 00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:05,800 and don't know how to behave properly. 596 00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:12,682 I've carried your messages back and forth for almost six months. 597 00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:15,018 Smuggled each of you into the other's homeland. 598 00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:19,647 You feel for him the same way he feels for you. 599 00:39:35,581 --> 00:39:37,832 I do love you. 600 00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:43,254 It is your child. It's our child. 601 00:39:47,134 --> 00:39:48,635 Marry me. 602 00:39:49,804 --> 00:39:51,262 Yes. 603 00:39:52,306 --> 00:39:53,556 [WHISTLES] 604 00:40:04,568 --> 00:40:05,944 We'll find a new planet to live on. 605 00:40:06,112 --> 00:40:07,195 [CHUCKLES] 606 00:40:07,363 --> 00:40:09,948 You'll live on Straleb. 607 00:40:10,116 --> 00:40:13,743 No, no, no, no, no. You'll live on Atlec. 608 00:40:13,911 --> 00:40:17,205 I will not have this man raising my grandson. 609 00:40:17,373 --> 00:40:18,498 The rest of this 610 00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:21,292 is an issue, gentlemen, to be settled between yourselves. 611 00:40:21,460 --> 00:40:23,378 Now if you'll excuse us, we have business. 612 00:40:23,587 --> 00:40:24,796 YANAR: Thank you, Captain. 613 00:40:24,964 --> 00:40:28,133 - Your grandson? - KUSHELL: My grandson. 614 00:40:31,053 --> 00:40:32,345 Thank you. 615 00:40:32,513 --> 00:40:33,763 [PIANO MUSIC PLAYS] 616 00:40:33,931 --> 00:40:35,974 Thank you. Thanks for coming, folks. 617 00:40:36,142 --> 00:40:37,934 We've got a great show for you tonight. 618 00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:39,853 I'm so excited this evening. 619 00:40:40,020 --> 00:40:43,148 Tonight I have for you the funny man of the stars, 620 00:40:43,315 --> 00:40:47,318 the Android of Antics, that Lieutenant Commander of Mirth, 621 00:40:47,486 --> 00:40:49,404 give him a welcome, ladies and gentlemen 622 00:40:49,572 --> 00:40:54,033 none other than, he's just the best. Data. 623 00:40:54,243 --> 00:40:56,244 [CHEERS & APPLAUSE] 624 00:41:04,503 --> 00:41:06,379 Good evening, ladies and germs. 625 00:41:06,589 --> 00:41:08,423 [ALL LAUGHING] 626 00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:15,305 [DRUM ROLL] 627 00:41:15,556 --> 00:41:17,557 [ALL LAUGHING] 628 00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:23,229 I come from a town so small, we had a fraction for a zip code. 629 00:41:23,397 --> 00:41:25,273 [ALL LAUGHING] 630 00:41:25,483 --> 00:41:28,860 - You made a living doing this? - Yes, I did. 631 00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:32,280 It was so small, in fact, we didn't have a godfather of crime, 632 00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:34,616 we had a nephew. 633 00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:36,826 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 634 00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:50,173 I was so ugly as a child, they hung a pork chop around my neck 635 00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:52,133 [ALL LAUGHING] 636 00:41:55,054 --> 00:41:57,764 So the dog would play with me. 637 00:41:57,932 --> 00:41:59,349 [ALL LAUGHING] 638 00:42:03,437 --> 00:42:06,147 And then there was the human cannonball 639 00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:08,650 that was hired and fired in the same night. 640 00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:10,652 [ALL LAUGHING] 641 00:42:13,948 --> 00:42:15,949 [LAUGHING CONTINUES] 642 00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:20,203 Audience program, off. 643 00:42:20,412 --> 00:42:22,413 [ALL LAUGHING] 644 00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:32,799 Discontinue Comic. 645 00:42:42,184 --> 00:42:44,018 It was a Holodeck audience. 646 00:42:44,186 --> 00:42:46,854 They were programmed to laugh at everything. 647 00:42:47,731 --> 00:42:49,816 Perhaps I should reprogram the audience 648 00:42:49,984 --> 00:42:51,859 to display a more accurate response. 649 00:42:52,027 --> 00:42:54,946 Data, let me give you one. 650 00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:57,865 Being able to make people laugh, 651 00:42:58,033 --> 00:43:02,203 or being able to laugh, is not the end-all and be-all of being human. 652 00:43:02,371 --> 00:43:07,750 No, but there is nothing more uniquely human. 653 00:43:23,350 --> 00:43:25,226 Hold your speed, Captain Okona. 654 00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:27,145 Disengage. 655 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:29,897 Separated. 656 00:43:30,065 --> 00:43:33,192 I'm under my own power now. Thank you, Enterprise. 657 00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,821 - Thank you, Captain Picard. - Goodbye, Captain Okona. 658 00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:39,032 Bye, Captain Okona. 659 00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:42,952 Say goodbye, Data. 660 00:43:43,662 --> 00:43:44,996 Goodbye Data. 661 00:43:45,205 --> 00:43:47,081 [TROI & RIKER LAUGH] 662 00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:49,375 Was that funny? 663 00:43:49,585 --> 00:43:50,585 [CHUCKLES] 664 00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:53,671 Accessing. 665 00:43:54,673 --> 00:43:59,552 Huh. Burns and Allen, Roxy Theatre, New York City, 1932. 666 00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:01,471 It still works. 667 00:44:02,264 --> 00:44:04,974 Then there was the one about the girl in the nudist colony 668 00:44:05,142 --> 00:44:06,434 that nothing looked good on. 669 00:44:06,602 --> 00:44:08,436 We're ready to get underway, sir. 670 00:44:09,104 --> 00:44:11,356 Take my Worf, please. 671 00:44:11,523 --> 00:44:15,241 - Warp speed, sir? - Please. 52990

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.