All language subtitles for Seven.Psychopaths.2012.1080p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG

♪ ln the great Book of John

♪ You were warned of the day

♪ When you'll be laid

♪ Beneath the cold clay

♪ The angel of death

♪ Will come from the sky

♪ And claim your poor soul

♪ When the time comes to die

♪ When the angel of death... ♪

TOMMY: Was it Dillinger
got shot through the eyeball

or am l thinking
of somebody else?

LARRY:
Moe Greene got shot through
the eyeball in The Godfather.

TOMMY: Yeah, l'm talking
about in real life.
LARRY: Oh.

TOMMY: Somebody in real life
got shot through the eyeball.

LARRY: Who was that?

TOMMY: Well, no, Larry,

many people in real life
have got shot through
the eyeball.

l'm just saying
l think Dillinger
was one of them.

That's really good aim.

No, that ain't
really good aim.

How is that not
really good aim, Tommy?

That's 1 00 fucking cops
shooting 1 ,000
bullets a minute.

One of them's
bound to go through
somebody's fucking eyeball.

Oh.

Eyeball. Eyeball,
eyeball, eyeball.

You ever shoot
a guy in his eyeball?

l stabbed a guy
in his ear once,

ice pick,
right in his fucking ear.

Yeah, see, that'd be
a different subject.
That'd be "ears."

What's the matter
with you, Tommy?

Nothing's the matter
with me.

Are you nervous because
we're killing a chick?

Yeah, look at me,
l'm shaking. l got
the chick-killing shakes.

The last thing
the boss says to me, he says,

"Tommy, the moment
l first saw Angela's eyes,
l knew it.

"l knew it was love,
l knew l was fucked.
And lo and behold, l was.

"So, Tommy, the moment
after you kill her,

"please, shoot her
fucking eyeballs out."
Those were his exact words.

l got one exact word for that.

"Overkill."

l got two exact words
for that, "Hear, hear."

l got three
exact words for that.

"You're damn
fucking straight."

ln Cuba, the torturers
used to have a device,
two thin metal spikes,

placed here,
that they adjusted,

and slowly,
millimeter by millimeter,
pricked into the eyeballs.

You're kidding me?
Those Communist
motherfuckers.

Well, no, Larry.
These are the ones

those Communist
motherfuckers kicked out.

What is it with
you today, Tommy?

First it's should
we or shouldn't we

shoot this chick
through the eyeballs,

and second,
it's you've gone soft. . .

♪ l would have given you
all of my heart

♪ But there's someone
who's torn it apart...

(PHONE BEEPS)

Hey, Martin,
it's your agent
calling again.

Just wondering
when we're gonna see
that new screenplay of yours.

l'm not sure
what the holdup is,

but the old clock's
ticking, buddy,

so give me a call, okay?

(GROANS)

♪ The first cut is the deepest

♪ Baby, l know... ♪

(SlGHS)

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

Hiya, Kaya.

Martin's writing
today, Billy.

Should l just stand
outside like a dick, then?

You doing yoga?

Was.
Can l watch?

(DOOR SLAMS)
(SlGHS)

What happened to you?

l got in a fight
at my audition.

Who with this time?

The director guy.

KAYA: He broke his nose.

MARTY: How are you ever
gonna get a job, Billy,

if you break the director
guy's nose before
you even got the part?

l didn't mean
to break his nose.

His nose was just
in the middle of where
l was punching.

l'm going to work.

Are you pissed at me
for something, baby?

Why would l be
pissed at you, Marty?

Because you're a cunt.
Billy!

(YELLS)

MARTY:
l don't remember doing
anything to piss her off.

Don't worry about it.

She's probably
pissed at you not
for anything specific,

more because
she's a fucking bitch.

She's not
a fucking bitch, Billy.
She's just got issues.

Yeah, she's got issues.
She's got "being
a fucking bitch" issues.

When are you gonna
get a girlfriend anyway?

Why do l have to do
all this shit on my own?

Maybe l've already
got a girlfriend.

A girlfriend l can't
tell you anything about

in the interests
of your own safety.

That just means
you haven't got
a girlfriend.

Proof be
if need proof. . .
Never mind.

Huh?

Proof be if need be.

And how's everything
in the dog-kidnapping
business?

(SOFTLY) Dog-"borrowing"
business. l ain't talking
about that shit neither.

Dog-borrowing business.

(DOGS BARKlNG)

♪ Well the wicked
King of Clubs awoke

♪ And it was to
his queen he turned

♪ His lips were laughing
as they spoke

♪ His eyes like bullets burned

♪ The sun's upon
a gambling day

♪ His queen smiled
low and blissfully

♪ Let's make some
wretched fool to pay

♪ Plain it was she did agree

♪ He send his deuce
down into diamond

♪ His four to heart,
and his trey to spade

♪ Three kings with
their legions come

♪ Preparations soon were made

♪ They voted club
the day's commander

♪ Gave him
an army face and number

♪ All but the outlaw... ♪

Oh !
(CHUCKLES)

Big boy.

His name's Abel.
(CHUCKLES)

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

Hi. ls this your dog?

WOMAN: Oh, my God !

l have to pay you.
No, please. l can't.

Take this.
Thank you so much.
Are you serious?

Hey, hey. So where
do you wanna go, Hans,

now that we're back
in the money?

The cancer ward,
Billy, if you don't mind.

One cancer ward
coming right up.

Five hundred bucks, baby.
A blonde lady with
a big fat basset hound.

When you gonna get
a job that ain't just
stealing from folks, Hans?

l'm a 63-year-old,
ain't worked in 20 years.

Myra, where am l
gonna get a job?

Government.

Government?

"A job that ain't just
stealing from folks"?

Government?

Psst! Eh?

Government.

(CHUCKLES)
Eh?

Five hundred bucks for a dog.

Come on.
l'm gonna put it here,

and you can take it
if you want.

BlLLY:
So how's the Seven Psychopaths
coming along, Marty?

Slow, slow.

l got the title.

Just haven't been
able to come up with
all the psychopaths yet.

How many you got?
One.

And he ain't really
much of a psychopath.

He's more of a,
kind of a Buddhist.

A Buddhist?

Yeah. See, l'm sick of
all these stereotypical

Hollywood murderous
scumbag-type
psychopath movies.

l don't want it
to be one more film

about guys with
guns in their hands.

l want it, overall,
to be about love and peace.

But it still has to be about
these seven psychopaths,

so this Buddhist psychopath,

he doesn't
believe in violence.

l don't know what the fuck
he's gonna do in the movie.

Maybe he could
karate chop somebody.

You know?

So what happens to
the seven psychopaths
at the end?

l don't know what
happens to them
at the start.

(CHUCKLES)

Oops!

Yeah, it'll be all right.

Hey. Shit in my pants,

l got a psychopath
fool you can write about.

Did you see this thing
in the paper the other day

about those two Mafia guys
who got whacked?

BlLLY: How about this?

There's a serial killer
going around, a major whacko.

However, he ain't
like your usual
limp-ass serial killer,

tie up a freckle-headed
hitchhiker on a highway.

No, this guy,
he's got a little
bit more integrity.

This serial killer
will only kill
mid- to high-ranking members

of the ltalian-American
organized crime syndicate.

Or the Yakuza.

That's a great
fucking psychopath, Billy.

Do you think?

A serial killer
who will only kill

mid- to high-ranking
members of the ltalian
organized crime syndicate.

Or the Yakuza.
Yakuza.

l'll keep with the Mafia,
saves doing Jap dialogue.

Good idea.

That's a great
fucking psychopath, Billy.
Can l keep him?

You can if you let me
help write the movie with you.

You can keep him, Marty,
l'm just kidding you.

MARTY: The daughter of
a Quaker went missing.

And when she was discovered,
the slit in her throat

turned out to be the least
of the damage done to her.

Her killer, whose name
shall not be noted,

could not bear the guilt
and the horror, he said,

and a year to the day
of her death,

he walked into
a police station
and gave himself up.

And though he asked
for execution,
the judge gave him life,

(CLAMORlNG)

and the killer was sent off
to Sing Sing to serve out
his sentence.

Seventeen long years went by.

The killer found religion.

And was sincere about it.
He had changed.

And if he had ever
been a psychopath,
he was not one anymore.

This story isn't about him.

Many more years went by

and the authorities
finally realized
that it wasn't a scam,

that he did truly mean it.
That he had truly repented.

And they decided
to set him free.

And he found himself
a place to stay

and he determined
to live a simple,

joyous life in the years
now left to him.

(TURNlNG PAGE)

(DOOR CREAKS)

(FOOTSTEPS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

A simple, joyous life
was not what was left to him.

This went on for
1 1 fucking years,

till finally
the killer went mad.

And one winter night,
while recalling
a Catholic tract he'd read,

which stated that
the only people
guaranteed a place in Hell

were not murderers,
were not rapists,

but were those
who had died
by their own hand.

The killer accepted
such an idea as beautiful,

for he knew that
at least in Hell
the Quaker would not be there.

So he cut his own throat open,

and the last thing
that the killer ever saw

was the old man take out
a cut-throat razor of his own,

put it to his throat,

and slice.

Where were you
walking him, Sharice?

(SHUDDERlNG)
The La Brea Tar Pits.

Mr. Costello,
please don't hurt me.

l promise,
l didn't mean to lose Bonny.

l just turned
around and he was gone.

lf it was a genuine error,
Sharice,

if it wasn't your fault
and he just run off,

why did you run off,

have us piss away 1 2 hours
just to find your fat ass?

You love your dog
so much, Mr. Costello,

and you're such
an angry-type person,

l didn't think you'd listen
to anything l had to say
about losing Bonny.

You'd just think
it was my fault

and drag me back here
and tie me up and kill me.

Well, yeah,
that was a pretty good. . .

Yeah.
Oh.

(WHlMPERS)

Yeah.

(SCREAMS)

(GUN CLlCKS)

(SQUEALS)

(GUN CLlCKS)

PAULO:
You should get
a new one, boss.

l know, but l like
the handle, the blue.

l'm sorry
about this, Sharice.
What it is, l don't oil it.

Please, Mr. Costello,
l always loved Bonny
like he was my own child.

One, l do not want
that image in my head.

Two, you shouldn't
take advantage

just because my gun
got stuck by accident.

Because that's low.

(SHARlCE WHlMPERS)

There's been a bunch
of dog disappearances

down by the La Brea
Tar Pits, l heard.

This Norwegian chick
l was banging,
she got her dog back.

Been missing
a couple of days.

Gave the guy a big reward,

then she started
to think there was
something fishy about it.

DENNlS: She asked around.

Same thing happened
to three people down there.

And, l'm sorry,
Dennis, when were you
gonna mention this?

l'd have mentioned it
straight off

if l hadn't been looking
for fat-ass all night.

Dennis,

could you go make
some inquiries?

Get my fucking
dog back for me.

Sure, boss.

What about fatso?

She still lost my
fucking dog, man.

(SHARlCE GASPlNG)

(SHARlCE SCREAMS)

Just kidding, Sharice.
You can go.

You think l'm gonna
see Wendy again when l go?

We'll both see
her again, baby,
but not anytime too soon.

You ever worry
we was wrong
all those years,

and there ain't no Heaven
and there ain't no nothing?

Of course l worry,
but God loves us.
l know He does.

He's just got a funny way
of showing it sometimes.

Sometimes l think
God's gone crazy sometimes.

Stuff He does,
stuff He don't do.

Well, He's had a lot
to contend with
in his time, too, you know.

Bastards killed His kid, too.

Don't say "bastards," honey.

lt's just a word, Myra.

lt's just a word, you know.

(CHUCKLES)

(SOFTLY) "Bastards."

(CHUCKLES)

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Although l love you so

♪ Oh, you don't know

♪ You don't know
Just how l... ♪

You're gonna have
a nice time tonight,
Billy. Relax.

He's your best friend,
ain't he?

Kaya ain't so bad.
lt ain't her fault
she's a fucking bitch.

Must be hard coming
all the way here
from Australia.

Or New Zealand.
Or wherever the fuck
she came from.

Hey, l'm Billy.
Billy Bickle.

What's your name?
l didn't catch your name.

Hey. Come again?

Dimitri, l like that.
Where you from?

Hey, happy birthday.

Hey, Bonny.

We'll get you back
to your daddy
in a day or two.

Don't be sad.

That's good. You're not sad.
Oh, you're happy!

Paw.

No paw. That's okay, too.

MARTY: And the last thing
that the killer ever saw

was the Quaker take out
a cut-throat razor,

put it to his own throat,
and slice.

MAN: Ah.

WOMAN: Wow.

What's up, Bickle?
Don't you get it?

Oh, l get it.

You don't look
like you get it.

Maybe it ain't clear enough.

Maybe l should have
had you write it with me.

Maybe you just
drink too much, Marty.

What did you just say?

MARTY:
You're a dog kidnapper, Billy.

l'm taking advice
on drinking from
a dog kidnapper.

BlLLY:
l ain't a dog
kidnapper, Marty.

Stop it, Martin.

Don't you fucking start.

Yeah, don't you
fucking start.

Don't talk to her
like that!

You started it.
Oh.

Shut up!

Kaya, that Quaker story,

l told Marty that story
in a bar two months ago.

A friend of mine
told that to me.

So there might be
copyright issues,
at the very least.

What are youse looking at?

l'm gonna go, okay?

Um. . .

Thanks for. . .
lt was a nice party.
You look nice.

(TOlLET FLUSHlNG)

What you doing,
honey? Ain't you
getting undressed?

(SPEAKlNG VlETNAMESE)

lf l could massacre
every person in this
godforsaken country. . .

. . .that helped
tear apart mine, l would.

l must focus, however, on the
gruesome task l have in hand.

What are you talking,
baby? Chinese?

Vietnamese. Vietnamese.

Vietnamese.
Yeah, didn't we
have like a big war

with you guys one time?

Yes.

lt isn't over.

(COCKS GUN)

(FOLK ROCK SONG
PLAYlNG ON RADlO)

(SlGHS)

♪ You and l travel to the beat
of a different drum

♪ Oh, can't you tell
by the way l run

♪ Every time you
make eyes at me

♪ Whoa

♪ You cry... ♪

What am l doing at
your place, Billy?

Kaya threw you out.

(SCOFFS)

What did Kaya
throw me out for?

You don't remember?

(BlLLY SlGHS)

For calling her
a fucking bitch

in front of all
of her friends.

l'd never do that.

At least not to her face.

Well, call her up and see.

Huh?

Well, call her up and see.

(SlGHS)

Huh?

KAYA: Hello?

Honey, listen,
l can't exactly remember
what happened last night.

Do the words,
"My girlfriend's
a fucking bitch,"

mean anything to you?
(DlAL TONE)

(DOGS BARKlNG)

Poodles always look
like they've been crying.

Maybe they've
just got dumped
by their girlfriend

because they've got
a drinking problem, too.

l don't have
a drinking problem.
l just like drinking.

Of course you do, Marty.

One, you're a writer.

Two, you're from lreland.

lt's part of your heritage.
You're fucked !

Fuck off now, Billy!
Seriously, just fuck off now!

l'm not in the fucking mood !

You were fucked from birth.

Spanish have got bullfighting.
The French got cheese.

And the lrish
have got alcoholism.

And what have
the Americans got?

Tolerance.

(SCOFFS)

Oh. Shoot, you're reading
LA Weekly, are you?
Huh?

Oh. (STAMMERS)

Shoot, you're reading
LA Weekly, are you?

No, no, no.

Shoot, did l leave
any water in Bonny's bowl?

l'd better go
home and do that,
and while l do,

there's something
l put in the LA Weekly
that you should maybe read.

'Cause it's possible
in the short term

that you might be
slightly mad at me.

What are you talking about?

Page 1 63.

BlLLY:
Calling all psychopaths!

Are you mental or deranged?

Maybe you've recently
been hospitalized,

but are now okay.

Or maybe the world
just doesn't understand you.

Yeah, right!

Well, l'm writing
a screenplay with my friend
called the Seven Psychopaths,

and if your story is
crazy or quirky enough,
we might use it for our movie.

So please call Billy
Bickle at 31 0-555-01 ...

DENNlS:
Fucking asshole dog-fucker.

HANS: Really? That's nice.

HANS: No, no, thank you.
Are you sure?

MAN: Please, really.

HANS: Thank you.

(CAR ENGlNE STARTS)

(HONKS HORN)

All right, old man,
get in the car.
Whoa!

Get in the car.
Come on.

What? "What?"
Get in the car, man.

Don't make me
repeat myself,
dog fucker.

DENNlS:
Where do you keep the dogs?

What dogs?
(GRUNTS)

To repeat,
where do you keep the dogs?

1 228 Bayside.

(DOGS BARKlNG)

Who are you?

(SHUDDERS)

l'm Billy's friend.

Well, just keep out of
our way, Billy's friend.

Al, check the cages.

He ain't here!
Where is he,
old man?

Little shih tzu,
name of Bonny.

Shih tzu? We ain't
never had a shih tzu
in here.

(HANS GRUNTS)

You don't listen too
good the first time,
do you, old man?

Tell me where Bonny is,
or else this guy gets it!

Oh. (GASPS)

l don't even know this guy.
What the hell do l care?

l know where the shih tzu is.
l know where the shih tzu is.

Where is he?

Kid, l don't know
who you are
or why you're here,

and l don't know
if you do know where
this shih tzu is

or if you don't know
where this shih tzu is,

but either way have
some pride in yourself.

Have some faith in
Jesus Christ as your Lord,

and don't tell
these scum-sucking
motherfuckers nothing.

Don't! Don't,
l'll tell you !
l'll tell you !

(GASPS)

(BANGlNG ON DOOR)

Billy! Billy! Billy.

Holy fuck!
What the hell happened?

Some punks jumped us.

Said they were looking
for a little shih tzu.

Then some other punk
killed those punks.

l've only been gone
1 0 fucking minutes.
Marty, are you okay?

You looked fucked.

l just didn't need this today.

He's okay.
lt's their blood.
lt's his puke.

You wanna go
to the bathroom,

clean some of the blood
and the puke off you?
Yeah. (BREATHlNG HEAVlLY)

Marty's my writer friend
l was telling you about.

l could smell the booze.

Where did you get this
little shih tzu, Billy?
Huh?

l got her off
some fat black chick
down at The Elephants.

You think she's the one
that they're after?

l think there's a strong
possibility, Billy.

MARTY: So are we gonna
give him his dog back?

That jerk's
forfeited all right

to having a nice dog
like this.
Mmm-hmm.

Miss?

Well, what are we gonna do?

l think we should
try and find this
Jack O' Diamonds guy

and get him to
join forces with us.

And then we could
take on all the bad guys,
like maybe in the desert.

And what do you think
we should do in real life?

Well, we could
sober up, Marty.
How's that grab you?

l think we should
go to the cops.

Fuck the cops!
Fuck them !

Fuck them.
All right.
Jesus Christ.

There are some
nice cops, aren't there?

He's from lreland.

l'm gonna head
to the hospital.

l said l'd be with Myra
when her results come in.

No fucking cops.

No cops.

Who's Myra?
His wife.

She's just had
surgery for cancer.

And you think
you've got problems.

CHARLlE: He ain't here,
and now we don't know

where this guy is
or what the hell
he looks like.

PAULO:
Yeah, can we get Dennis
to a hospital now, Charlie?

Yeah, let's get him
to a hospital.

And let's get on to the ASPCA

and have 'em take care
of these poor bastards.

Maybe we should go
to the hospital
with him, Charlie.

You know l don't
like hospitals.

Yeah, but it's where
the guy's wife is.

You know, Marty,
the way you're
feeling today,

all depressed and
alcoholic and shit?

You know what you
should do? Put it into
your writing, man.

Use it. Mad idea?

Thanks, Billy,
that's what l'll do.

l'll put the way
l'm feeling today
into my writing.

And then l'll go blow
my fucking brains out.

Come on, man.

You know
your writing
helps alleviate

your suicidal
self-loathing
and shit.

l don't have suicidal
self-loathing and shit.

Yeah, right.
Hey, who's this chump?

Hey, are you waiting
for somebody, old guy?

Are you Billy Bickle?

Uh. . .

No.

Well, my name
is Zachariah Rigby.

l left a message
on Billy's telephone

in answer to
the advertisement.

For fuck's sake!

Well, l tell you,
Zachariah.

lf you sounded like a nut,
l probably just deleted you.

l don't think
l sounded like a nut.

Were you screaming
about eating my heart
off a tray

and then shitting on it?

No. No, l wouldn't do that.

Okay, you seem normal.
Come on in.

We gotta get this
dog off the street

because it's kidnapped
from a maniac.

ZACHARlAH: Dandy.

BlLLY:
Testing, one-two.
Testing. Okay.

Zach, unfortunately
l gotta go play tennis
with my girlfriend now,

but it's Marty
who'll be doing
the writing anyway.

You ain't leaving me
with this nut, Billy.

And you ain't
got a girlfriend.
He ain't got a girlfriend.

Tennis?

But it's voice-activated,
so just start telling
your kooky stuff, Zach,

and see you
guys soon, okay?

Zach?
Yeah.

All right, listen.
Why don't you just tell me
whatever you wanna tell me,

and l'll go
make us a coffee.
How about that?

Tea.
Huh?

Tea.

Tea? Why not?

Well, l guess

(CLEARS THROAT)

it all began
back when l was 1 7.

l. . .

The distant mists of time.

(STAMMERS)

l was a little wet
behind the ears back then.
l don't mind admitting it.

l was burglarizing
the house of this judge
down in Delacroix.

Let me tell you something,
don't never burglarize

the house of no judge
down in Delacroix.

Because when l went down
into his basement,

you know what
l found down there?

l found the corpses of
two negro girls down there.

And then l found
a half-alive
'nother negro girl

chained right along
with them.

Well,

the girl's name
was Maggie.

She told me all
about the judge

and she told me what
a terrible man he was,

and l think l fell
in love with Maggie
right then and there.

And l think she did
a little with me, too.

Then the judge came home.

Yeah, and he was awful angry.

We just didn't
know what to do.

And what did you do?

Well, we hung him
from his neck until
he was dead,

and that's when
Maggie and me
got this idea, see?

What idea?

Well, the idea
that we'd go around
the country killing people

who go around
the country
killing people.

Like serial killer killing.

l guess that's what
you'd call it nowadays.

Uh-huh.

(OPERA MUSlC PLAYlNG)

(SCREAMlNG)

(GROANS)

(OPERA MUSlC CONTlNUES)

(CAR APPROACHES)

Get in the house.

Get in the house!

(GROANlNG)

(YELLlNG)

Maggie!

(SCREAMlNG)

ZACHARlAH: 1975 it was,
she burned that hippie.

(MARTY EXHALES DEEPLY)

l've been looking
for her ever since.

There is something
l'd like you to
do for me, Martin.

When you use
my story in your movie,

l'd like you to put
a little message
up there at the end.

l want you to tell
her that l miss her.

And l love her.

And l should have helped
her kill that hippie.

And l'm sorry.

And to call.

You think you could
do that for me, Martin?

l'd be glad to, Zach.

Promise?

l promise on my life.

Wow.
(CHUCKLES)

(SNlFFLES)

That's a big promise.

(SlGHS)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Can l help you?
Oh.

Uh. . . Yeah.

l'm looking
for a Polish lady.

A Mrs. Kieslowski.

She's having an operation.

(SlGHS)

How long's that gonna take?

l don't know.

What do you want
Mrs. Kieslowski for?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Her husband's got
something belongs to me.

Oh.

(CHUCKLES)

You gonna shoot her?

No. No, "shoot her"?

No, no, l'm just gonna
scare her so she tells me

where her husband's at
and where my dog's at.

And what if she don't know?

Well, then
l'm gonna get mad.

Can l go use
the bathroom?

l think you'd better wait
around here for a while.

Maybe do it in
a pan or something.

l can wait.

l don't use no pans.

Suit yourself.

(SlGHS)

What's your dog's name?

Bonny.

That's a nice name.

l'm sure Mr. Kieslowski
will take good care
of your dog

and get it back
to you safe.

He always seems
like a sweet man
when he comes in.

He come visit her a lot?

Every day.

What kind of times every day?

Oh.

Different times, you know.

And not every day.
He misses a day
now and then.

Oh, yeah?

He been in today?

Yeah.

Uh. . .

He came in
earlier this morning,
about 1 0:00 or so.

So the Polack
married a nigger, huh?

Yeah.

The Polack married a nigger.

Where is he now?

l don't know.

(SlGHS)

Where's my dog?

You figure it out,
dumb-ass.

Goodbye, Mrs. Kieslowski.

Goodbye, Hans.

(DOOR OPENS)

We should
get out of here.
l ain't leaving.

l'm gonna wait down
there till that
dog-thief motherfucker

(SlGHS)

You looking at something?

No. Nothing at all.

Are you hurt?

A little.

What's that?

A cravat.

lt's nice. lt's very. . .

Of a bygone era.

You have it.

No, really.

Please.

l want you to have it.

Have it.

l don't want
your cravat, man.

(BlLLY MOANlNG)

(ANGELA MOANlNG)

What's wrong, honey?

l don't think
l can keep it up, Ang.

Nope.

Look at that
limp piece of shit.

Jeez, l hate these
frigging condoms.

Then take it off,
baby, l trust you.

You trust me?
But you're still
screwing that Mafia guy.

God knows what shit
that prick's given you.

Get the fuck off me, Billy.

l didn't mean AlDS
or nothing, honey.

Honey, l meant like
chlamydia or something.

Three weeks
l haven't seen you,

and that's the way
you talk to me?

l've been busy, baby.

l've been busy
trying to help you out,
if you must know.

What are you
talking about?

Well, you know
you said your asshole
boyfriend loves his dog

more than anything
in the world, right?

(GASPS)

You haven't?

l have!

Billy! Billy,
you've gotta give it back.

Give it back?
l ain't gonna give back shit,
let alone my shih tzu.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God !

Oh.

"Give it back."
lt's kidnapped.
Oh, my God !

lt's a kidnapped dog.
You don't just give
back a kidnapped dog.

Defeats the entire
object of the kidnapping.

They didn't just give
Patty Hearst back, did they?

No, this dog
is my Patty Hearst.

Except l ain't gonna
keep it in a closet
and make it rob a bank.

No, l'm gonna hold on to it
until your asshole boyfriend

starts behaving like
a decent human being
and gives me a bunch of money.

The guy's a psychopath, Billy!

Well, did you ever
ask yourself

what you're doing
screwing a psychopath
in the first place?

Screwing two psychopaths
is what the question is.

What?
Who's the second?
Oh. Who, me?

l'm gonna call him,
clear this entire thing up.

No, you ain't
either. Shit.
(PHONE RlNGS)

Hello?
Charlie?

Charlie. . .
Hi, Hans. Angela?

How are you?
We were a little worried,

you were late home is all.

Yeah, l know. l just got
held up at the library.

Hey, did Myra get
her results back?

The results came in.
She got the all-clear.

Oh, my God, Hans,

l'm so happy for you.

Well, no, that gangster guy
whose dog we got,

he come down
and he killed her.

He what?

l guess he must have
found out the connection
somehow.

He came down,
he shot her in the head
in the hospital there,

so she's dead now,
unfortunately.

l'll be home in 20 minutes.

Charlie, l know,

l know we've been
going through some
tough times,

but it's all
gonna work out fine,
l promise you.

♪ Angela holds a grudge...

Hi. Can you send an ambulance
to 261 8 Mountain Drive?

♪ Angela...

Gunshot wound
to the stomach.

♪ Today's a day like any other

So don't say l never
do nothing for you. Okay?

♪ Still the flag snaps
in the wind

♪ Still your name rings true

♪ You took the high road

♪ l couldn't find you
(MOUTHlNG)

♪ Up there

♪ You kept your jaw
wired closed

♪ l never noticed... ♪

BlLLY:
Monday the 1 4th.

Sat watching the shadow
of the neighbor's flagpole
across my lawn again

from 7:00 in the morning
to 7:00 in the evening.

That's 1 1 hours.

They've got a right to
fly a flag, don't they?

Note to self,
do not set fire to
the neighbor's flag.

(BlLLY CHUCKLES)

Work out more ways
of being a better
friend to people.

Kaya, for instance.
She is the girl Marty loves.

Deep down,
she is possibly not a cunt.

Marty. Do everything
to keep his mind

on track about
the Seven Psychopaths.

He is the best
writer of his generation,
but he needs to stay focused.

(TlRES SQUEALlNG)

But do not bother him
anymore about writing
his screenplay with him.

lf he wants your help,
he will ask for it.

(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)

Hey, hey. Let's go,
let's go, let's go.

MARTY: Hans!

PAULO:
First thing you
gotta do, Charlie,

you gotta pull
yourself together.

l gotta pull
myself together, l know.

l have no idea
where my dog is now.

Right, second thing,
we simply speak to Angela,

see what else she knows
about this guy, where he
might have got to.

CHARLlE:
What if she don't
know much more?

All right,
then we bide our time,

wait until they
get in touch with us.

Bonny ain't gonna be
no value to them dead.

Don't say "Bonny"
and "dead" in the same
thing, Paulo, please.

l'm finding it
hard enough to cope.

You're not pulling
yourself together,
are you?

l am, l am.

My dog's gonna end up killed.

There's something
else, Charlie.

The guy's got about
a hundred packs
of playing cards,

and all the Jacks
of Diamonds are gone.

The guy's
a fucking psychopath.

He's so calm.

BlLLY: Hmm.

Man, if l'd just
had my wife murdered,
l think l'd be. . .

Angry.
Yeah.

BlLLY: That's Hans, man.
He's a proper Christian.

You know,
proper old-time Christian.
Not like these Fox News fucks.

l feel bad, man.
l kind of feel like
all this was my fault.

l kidnapped
the guy's dog and all.

Come on, Billy.
How could you have known
it was that psycho's dog?

Do you wanna help me
write Seven Psychopaths,
Billy?

Are you being serious?

l thought l could
bounce some ideas off you,

you could tinker
with some stuff.

l would love that, Marty.

l would really love that.

l think l'm gonna
quit drinking till
the movie's done.

That, right there,
is a deal, man.

lt's not a deal, no.

l'm just gonna stop
drinking for a while.
There's no deal involved.

That, right there, is

not a deal.
Equally cool.

(CHUCKLlNG)

But if we go there,
we're gonna get lost.

You don't drink,
Hans, no?

l take peyote,
sometimes.

Billy has some peyote
l might take later.

(PEOPLE TALKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY)

l'm sorry about
your wife, Hans.

But l guess
she's in Heaven now.

You believe in Heaven?

l'm not sure
what l believe,
you know.

l put a lot of
Heaven and Hell stuff
in my stories,

but l'm not sure
what l believe.

(MUMBLES)

Why don't you tell me
one of your Heaven and
Hell stories, Martin?

Billy said he didn't
think you'd like it much.

l like stories.

Okay.

(CLEARS THROAT)

This one is kind of
a Heaven and Hell story.

Uh, well. . .

lt's more of a Hell story.
lt's all about this
Quaker psychopath.

Out in the fields, one day,
he comes upon his daughter.

She's been
murdered brutally.

. . .the only ones
guaranteed to go to Hell

are those who die
by their own hand.

Stop!
So he took out a. . .

. . .cut-throat. . .
Stop! Stop,
stop, stop.

What?
Yeah, what?

l just. . . l don't think
that's a very nice story.

l wanna know what
happens at the end.

Well. . .

So. . .

The killer took out
a cut-throat razor
and as he

cut his throat open,
he whispered, "Now are
you happy, old man?"

And the last thing that. . .
The killer ever saw. . .

That the killer ever saw,
yes, was the old man take
out a razor of his own,

put it to his throat and. . .

And slice.

That's a very good story.

Did you make that
up all by yourself?

HANS: Some of the details
aren't exactly right,
of course.

l wouldn't
necessarily call myself
a psychopath, you know,

and l didn't go
to Hell, obviously.

l don't know if he did. Yet.

Our beautiful
daughter was black.

l don't think
you mentioned that.

And l was not on
my own the whole time,
following him.

You know, you can't
do that kind of work
all on your own.

But looking back on
what's been wasted. . .

At the time,
l thought it had
to be done.

l'm not so sure anymore.

Course it had to be done.
He killed your kid.

You had to fuck him over
by any means necessary.
(CHUCKLES)

Well, as Gandhi said. . .

Oh, you two.
lf it ain't Gandhi,
it's Jesus Christ.

"An eye for an eye
leaves the whole
world blind."

l believe that
wholeheartedly.

(EXHALES)

(SNlGGERS)

No, it doesn't.
There'll be one guy
left with one eye.

How's the last blind guy
gonna take out the eye

of the last guy left
who's still got one eye?

All that guy has
to do is run away
and hide behind a bush.

Gandhi was wrong.

lt's just that nobody's
got the balls to come
right out and say it.

Hans, l'm trying to
write something about

the kinds of things
you're talking about.

Yeah. Would you like
to help write it with me?

You said l could
help write it with you.

Yeah, we can all
help write it with me.

He doesn't even wanna
help write it with you.
His wife just died.

l don't mind helping,
as long as it isn't
gonna be too violent.

Of course it's
gonna be too violent.
MARTY: That's the whole point.

l told you 20 times,
Billy, l don't want it
to be violent.

l want it to be
life-affirming.

Life-affirming?
Schmife-affirming !

lt's about seven
fucking psychopaths!
Hey!

No, you know what l think
the movie should be?

The first half should
be a perfect setup

for an out-and-out
revenge flick.

Yeah.
Violence. Guns.

All the usual bullshit.
And then. . .

l don't know,
man, it's. . .

The lead characters
should just walk away.

They should just
drive off into the desert
and pitch a tent somewhere

and just talk
for the rest of

the frigging movie.
No shoot-outs, no payoffs.

Just human beings talking.

What, are we making
French movies now?

That sounds like
the stupidest ending.
No shoot-outs?

That sounds like
the stupidest ending

to a movie
l've ever fucking. . .

No shoot-outs?
Mmm-hmm.

(GROANS)

No?
No!

BlLLY: Wow.

Now if we were
gonna have a shoot-out,
that'd be the perfect place.

l know we're not
gonna have a shoot-out.

l'm just saying
if we were gonna
have a shoot-out.

Jesus. Gandhi. Joseph.

♪ And you cried all night

♪ Till you created a stream
and it flows forever

♪ lt's made of dreams

♪ That didn't come true

♪ And l'm sorry,
there's nothing more

♪ That l can do

♪ When we get... ♪

Hey, ho.

Martin, l've been
reading your movie.

Oh.

What do you think?

Your women
characters are awful.

None of them have
anything to say
for themselves.

And most of them
get either shot

or stabbed to death
within five minutes.

And the ones that don't
probably will later on.

Well. . .

lt's a hard world
for women. You know?

And l guess that's
what l'm trying to say.

Yeah, it's a hard world
for women,

but most of the ones
l know can string
a sentence together.

(CHUCKLES)

Didn't you like
anything in it?

You know who
l'm intrigued by?
Who's that?

This Vietnamese guy
with the hooker. ls it
like a dream sequence?

No. The Vietnamese guy. . .

l just know his story
ain't gonna end in nothing

but carnage
and horror and. . .

So l didn't even
wanna write it.

MARTY:
He's not even a priest.

l just like the image
of a Vietnamese guy

in a priest's outfit
with a snub-nosed .44.

Anyway, his story is...

He was in the Vietcong
for many years.

A brilliant warrior
but a sicko. A psycho.

(HELlCOPTER BLADES WHlRRlNG)

And when the war was ended,
he returned to his
little farming village

with all intentions
of living a peaceful life
with his wife and daughters.

But the little farming village
he came from was called

My Lai.

And his wife
wasn't there anymore.

And his daughters
weren't there anymore.

And he ventured to
the USA to track down

all the members
of Charlie Company

who raped and butchered
his whole entire family.

You see where
l'm going with this,
right?

Well, he'd already
slaughtered six of them
by the time he got to Phoenix,

where some kind of convention
was about to be held

on the rights and wrongs
of the Vietnam War.

And he's got
a big bomb with him

that he's gonna
strap to a hooker

and send her
into the middle
of this convention.

So this is the night
that we meet him,

and the hooker's
there in her panties.

And, like l said,
there's no way

that story's
ending but grimly.

That's a great
fucking psychopath, Marty.

Yeah. But it's not
what l wanna really be
writing about anymore.

New idea. How about
we change the title from
the Seven Psychopaths

to the Seven Lesbians
Who Are All Disabled

And Have Overcome
All This Spazzy Shit

And Are Really Nice
To Everybody And
Two Of 'Em Are Black?

How about that?

♪ l come from
a long line in history

♪ Of dreamers

♪ Each one more tired

♪ Than the one before...

l'm out here
in the wilderness

trying to think
about some ideas.

Anyway, the way
l picture your screenplay,

especially with this
Vietnamese guy who,
of course, l'm fascinated by.

♪ ...country dumb ♪

MARTY: Pressure.
Pressure.
BlLLY: Huh?

(BlLLY CHUCKLlNG)

BlLLY:
l'm a little nervous.

Okay, everybody
comfortable?

Cell phones off, right?

Okay, here we go.

Exterior.

Cemetery. Night.

The shoot-out. Yeah !

BlLLY:
The Jack O' Diamonds
is waiting there with Bonny,

and he's arranged
to give him back and
have this whole thing end

because all he really
wants is peace. You know,

like Gandhi or Jesus
or that other guy.

Anyway, he's waiting there
for the Mafia boss,

who's agreed to show up
alone and unarmed.
But, yeah, guess what?

MARTY: Wait, wait a minute.

Surely he knows that
the Mafia boss is a psycho?

Why would he believe
he'd show up alone
and unarmed?

Hmm.

You know?
Yeah.

Exactly!

Maybe the Jack O' Diamonds
was expecting to
get double-crossed

because he just
happens to have

brought a couple
of friends along.

Suddenly, from out
of every fucking grave

burst the seven psychopaths,
a gun in every hand.

(lMlTATES GUNFlRE)

Flamethrower!
Who the fuck is that?

(MAN SHOUTS)

lt's the Vietcong guy.
He was hiding up a tree.

(HOCKlNG)

You ! You're there,

but you're just
there to observe,
and that's all right.

Nobody thinks you're a pussy.
But it's started raining now.

(lMlTATES RAlN)

Lightning.
(lMlTATES LlGHTNlNG)

And oh, no,
look who's wandered in
like a fucking idiot.

lt's Kaya. She's come
to say sorry to you,
and she loves you,

and that she didn't mean
to be such a fucking bitch.

You scream out,
"Kaya! Stay back!"

Too late,
she's fucking mown down.

Fucking mown down !

(lMlTATES MACHlNE GUN)

Her head almost comes off.

Her head does come off.

You scream out her name,
all sad, and she dies.

"Kaya! Kaya!"

You throw your notepad away.
Art and peace and
all that shit can wait!

Now's the time
for men to be men!

(BlLLY lMlTATlNG GUNFlRE)

"Fuck you, you cunts!"

lt's really emotional.

And then. . . Hold on.

Yeah. . .

The black chick from
the serial killer killers.

She fought good,
but she's the next to croak.

Zachariah dies, too.
He buys it.

Dies in her arms.
And they die

and they're old and mental,
and so much in love.

You know, it's really sad.

But his rabbit
gets away, though,

because you can't let
the animals die in a movie.
Just the women.

Anyway, guns, guns, guns!
Blam, blam, blam.

(TALKlNG GlBBERlSH)

The Vietcong gets hit.
Then he dies,

and he never even
had a fucking name,
and he's so good.

With his dying move,
he throws his nunchakus

and he kills two
of the bastards.

MARTY:
Nunchakus are Japanese.

So the only ones
left are you

and Hans.
(GUNS CLlCKlNG)

Peace is for queers.
And now you're gonna die.

But the Jack O' Diamonds
isn't dead at all.

He was just a bit injured
and he had a fucking
crossbow up his sleeve.

(GASPS)

That's not enough,
so he pulls out a shotgun.

Goodbye.

And as the Jack O' Diamonds
dies in their arms,
he whispers,

(WHEEZES)
"We did good, we did good,
didn't we, Marty?"

And through your tears,
you say,

(lN MOCK lRlSH ACCENT)
"Ah, bejesus, Jack,

"we did more than good.
We did grand."

Jack says, "All l ever
wanted was to be your friend.

"Marty, l'm your friend
now, ain't l?"

And you say,
"Ah, bejesus, sure,
you're me best friend, Jack.

"You're me best friend."

And then
the Jack O' Diamonds dies.

And as his soul leaves
his body to go dance
with the angels,

we pan up over
the blood-strewn cemetery

and off into the pretty
blue skies of dawn.

Skies blue enough to suggest
that maybe there can be peace

one day in this troubled
but beautiful world.

Maybe there can be peace
because that would be good !

MARTY: That's the end?

Yeah !

Oh.

So, opinions?

Well. . .

lt's very. . .

l like it.
You like it? Hey!

All right.

lt's got layers,
you know.
BlLLY: Layers?

Like a pie. Like a cake.

lt's got. . .
lt's got many layers.

This is an important
demographic.

Mmm-hmm.

So, what do you think?

l think it's very,
it's very, you know. . .

Very. . .
Moving.
Moving. Moving.

l was paying attention,
l'll tell you that.

You were. . . Moving.

lt's impossible

for someone's head
to actually explode,
isn't it? When it gets shot.

No, no, it's possible.

lf the person's head
was made out of explosives,
it's possible.

Yeah. l like that.

(MARTY CHUCKLlNG)

Hans.

MARTY:
Billy's a psychopath, Hans.

(SlGHS)

l guess he's made it
into your movie, then?

(WHlSTLlNG)

Hi, Hans.
Hi, Mart.

Marty, is that
what l think it is?

lf you think it's
a bottle of bourbon,
then yeah.

MARTY:
Do you want some?

Wow.
MARTY: Wow?

BlLLY: Wow.

Hans. Are you not
gonna say something?

Where's the peyote, Billy?

Oh, are we gonna
have a peyote party?

HANS: Why not?

(MUMBLES)

HANS: l think

l'd have made a great Pope.

l'd have been
very lenient.

You'd have made
an awesome Pope, Hans.

Huh?

Hans,

isn't one of us gonna
address the elephant
in the room?

The what?

(CHUCKLES) Yeah,
who's on the fucking
peyote around here, Marty?

Paw.

l'm sorry if
l haven't been a very good
friend to you, Billy.

Paw.

You've been a good
friend to me, Marty.
What are you talking about?

(MUMBLES)

Why did you kill
all those people?

Huh?

Why did you kill
all those people?

Like l told you
at Kaya's party,

l killed all those people
to spur you on a little bit

and give you
something to write about

and get you to finish
your screenplay.

You told me. . .

When?

l can't believe you
told me about this
at the party, man !

Maybe l am an alcoholic
if l could forget
something like that.

(CHUCKLES)

Maybe l am an alcoholic.

Okay, listen. l didn't tell
you about it at the party.

l was just kidding
about that because
you surprised me,

and it would
have been ridiculous
telling you at the party.

You might have
told somebody,
got me in trouble.

Then why did
you just tell me
that you told me?

To make you
think a little bit

about your alcohol issues.
How about that?

Billy, you kill women !

l killed a woman.
Take it easy.

You shot her
in the stomach, Billy.

That's better than
the head, ain't it?

Not really, no.

l said l was sorry,
didn't l?

Yeah, well. . .

l don't hang out with people
who kill women, Billy,

and l certainly don't
write screenplays
with them.

What are you
talking about, Marty?

You'd best pack
the tent up, Billy.

lt's over.

lt's over?

Now what. . .

Where's this other
fucking nutcase?

MARTY: Hans!

Hans.

(PANTS)

Hans. We're leaving.

My wife is sitting
on a chair someplace.
Some gray place.

l thought she'd be in Heaven,
but she's sitting on a chair

with a bullet in her head.

l thought they'd
have cleaned that
kind of stuff up.

Maybe you've just eaten

too many hallucinogenic
cactuses tonight, Hans.

Nothing to do with
the hallucinogens.

But you've just seen Myra

on a chair with a bullet
through her head.

ln some gray place.

England?

lt seemed a lot
worse than that.

Wow.

Listen, Hans, what say
we talk about this
on the drive home?

l mean, we may
find some perfectly
reasonable. . .

Jesus.

Billy.

Billy?

(PANTlNG)

BlLLY: ln the tent, dumbo.

What?

Now don't get mad.

MARTY:
What the hell did you do?

l set the car on fire.

How the hell are we
supposed to get home?

We're in the middle
of the fucking desert, Billy.

Yeah, that's the least
of our worries.

What else did you do?

l'll give you a clue.

Come on in.

So, yeah, l just called
up old Charlie Costello

and l told him where
we were and to come down
and get his dog back

and said if he had
any trouble finding us,
just look for a Buick on fire.

But l did tell him to
promise to come alone

and unarmed,
and he said he would.

And he'll be here
in a couple of hours,
depending on traffic.

Now, l've labeled
these guns for you,

but you totally
don't have to use them.

l won't think you're
pussies, but l'm gonna
hang on to mine.

l think we've
done enough of this

"talking about peace in
the desert" type stuff.

Don't you?

l do. This movie ends my way.

Well, that's just
fucking great!
Oh, great!

You know what that is?
Do you know what that is?

Great?
That's just
fucking great!

(SlGHS)

How far is the walk
to the Welcome Center?

We can't leave him.

(STAMMERS)

You ain't gonna fight.

Of course
l ain't gonna fight,
but l ain't gonna run.

What are you
gonna do, then?
l guess l'm gonna die.

Friends don't make
their friends die, Hans.

Psychopathic friends do.

You're the one who
thought psychopaths
were so interesting.

They get kind of
tiresome after a while,
don't you think?

(MUMBLES)

ls that a guinea pig?
lt's a gerbil, isn't it?
That's enormous.

Hey, Marty, we just seen
some kind of giant gerbil.

(GRUNTS)
Oh.

(GROANS)

Marty, you alcoholic
fucking bastard.

You might wanna
stop drinking, Martin,

if this is the way
you're gonna behave.

lf this is the way
l'm gonna. . .

This guy just telephoned
a psycho-killer

to come down
and psycho-kill us.

And this guy's doubting
a lifelong belief
in the afterlife

because of a psychedelic
cactus he just ate.

And you motherfuckers
are telling me to behave?
Whoa! Whoa!

Time out. What's all
this about doubting

a lifelong belief
in the afterlife

because of
a psychedelic cactus
you just ate?

Hans, what the heck?
l met Myra.

On the ridge.
She had some things to say.

About the afterlife
being non-existent
or something?

That was the gist.

No, no, it might
have sounded like Myra.

But you know why?

Now don't get mad,
but you know

l can do Myra's
voice pretty good.

Yeah, l snuck up
there a little while ago
and l pretended to be her.

l started saying all
kinds of crazy stuff.

But what specifically
did you say?

About the place

Huh?

How did you describe it,
specifically?

(STAMMERS)

You mean specifically?
Yeah.

l just kind of said
it was all kind of. . .

l just kind of said
it was all kind of

gray and shit.

No.

(CHUCKLES)

(SlGHS)

Oh, great, now l have
to kill everybody
all on my own.

Sorry for hitting you
in the face so hard.

That's all right.
lt was a pretty good
punch for a pacifist.

l love you, man.

l love you, too.

Listen, if you're not
gonna be really
doing any shooting,

maybe you should
just go with Hans,
see he gets back all right.

Huh?

l think l'll see
how this plays out.
Sure l'm drunk now anyway.

Yeah.

Seriously, Marty,
you gotta do something
about your drinking

because, l swear to God,
it's gonna wind
up killing you.

(SlGHS)

This is kind of like
that window of time

when you're waiting
in the waiting room

of the VD clinic, isn't it?

For the door to open
and the doctor to
come out and say,

"Billy, you're good to go."

Or, "Billy, you've got VD."

Or chlamydia or whatever.

(SlGHS)

MARTY:
He's all alone.

What the hell's
he all alone for?

Turn around again.

BlLLY:
And lift up your jacket.

You shot him
in the back.

Of course l shot
him in the back.

l was going for his spine.

But he was unarmed.

My ass,
he was fucking unarmed.

(GROANS)
Where's your guns?

Where's your guns?

You said don't bring none,

so l didn't bring none.

Hey, Bonny baby.

You didn't bring a gun
to the final shoot-out?
Bullshit.

And don't talk to my dog !

CHARLlE:
He said don't bring none,
so l didn't bring none.

Who are you?
Just Billy's friend.

Found it, motherfucker.

Your friend's a fucking nut.

My ass,
you was fucking unarmed.
l found it, motherfucker.

lt's a flare gun, Billy.

You could do
a lot of damage
with a flare gun.

Think l'm gonna die.
What?

l think l'm gonna die.
Well, don't keep
going on about it!

You fucking cunt.
(GROANS)

Fucking ruined
everything now.

Will you let me give
him a couple of kisses
and a couple of scratches?

No, l ain't gonna
let you give him

a couple of kisses and
a couple of scratches!

Billy, we gotta get
him to a hospital.

Are you out of your
alcoholic fucking mind?

You don't take
the chief fucking villain
to a fucking hospital.

Put your hands up.

No.

What?
l said no.

Why not?
l don't want to.

But l've got a gun.
l don't care.

But. . .

lt doesn't make any sense.

Too bad.

Well. . .

Where are your friends?

l don't know.

Yes, you do know.
No, l don't know.

You do know.

Shoot me, then.

BILLY: Fucking dick-bags.

This is just
un-fucking-believable, man.

We can't just let
him bleed to death.

We totally can.

We totally can let
him bleed to death.
That's totally what we can do.

l'm not leaving
without my dog.

Listen up,
you bald-headed fag.
lt's you or your fucking dog !

l gotta pick me,
don't l?

'Cause if l'm dead,
l ain't gonna have
a dog anyway.

That's very good.
That's very brainy.

And if l'm alive,
l can always come back
here and get my dog

and blow your
goddamn head off,
can't l?

That's exactly right.
With your faggy
little flare gun.

You cunt.

Can l have
my flare gun back?

No, you can't have
your flare gun back.

(GLASS BREAKlNG)

What, is he drinking
and driving?

l'll be back for you.

BlLLY: That was the worst
final shoot-out l've ever
fucking seen, man.

Why would he only
bring a flare gun
to the big final. . .

Oh, l get it.

(CHUCKLES)

Motherfucker.

You got a gun?

(CHUCKLES)

You don't got a gun,
do you, Quaker?

You better keep out of
the way now, all right,
old man? l like you.

HANS: Hey.

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

POLlCE OFFlCER:
Stop! Police!

(CAR ENGlNES STARTlNG)

(POLlCE OFFlCERS SHOUTlNG)

lt isn't gray

at all.

Shit!
(BRAKES SCREECHlNG)

Should've brought
that gun along, buddy.

Don't believe in them.

ln guns?
You don't believe in guns?

They ain't
fucking leprechauns,

you dumb Mick.
What are you
talking about?

l was trying to
save your life, man.

lt's a flesh wound,
you fucking idiot.

CHARLlE:
Give me my gun.

Cops are coming,
Charlie.

We had to whack
that Quaker guy.

Don't you wish
you had a gun now?

No.

l don't.

So why don't you
go fuck yourself.

PAULO:
Where's the other guy,
Charlie?

Down the road
a-ways with my dog.

What are we gonna do?

We're gonna go get my dog.

CHARLlE:
What's with your
sour fucking puss?

l could've just
killed you now,
couldn't l?

You've had your
friend killed,

and you're just
about to have your
other friend killed,

but that still
only makes
two friends killed.

l've had four of my guys
killed, and also my
girlfriend killed,

who l didn't like much,
but that's still
five friends killed.

That's three more
friends killed

than you've had
friends killed,

so don't give me
that moany fucking
face, okay?

(YELLS)

(SCOFFS)

What? What do you see?

Oh, nothing.
Just the perfect place
for a final shoot-out.

Get away from the car!
Get away from the car!

(CHUCKLES)

Throw your guns down,
or the alcoholic gets it!

Don't throw down
shit, Billy!

BlLLY: No, no.
This is working
out perfect.

Here's my guns,
mister.

And the other one!

l only had two.

CHARLlE:
Man, l saw you with three!

All right, all right,
you're one smart cheese!

Now get down here
with my fucking dog !

Are you gonna let
Marty go if l do?

Yes, l'm gonna let
Marty go if you do.

He didn't have
anything to do
with any of this.

He was just
writing a movie.

Are you?
Yeah.

What's it called?

Seven Psychopaths.

BlLLY: l'm coming down.

l was just
trying to buy

some time
because l had to

reload something.

Forgot about
the flare gun,
you fucking idiot.

Bonny.

BlLLY:
Yeah, Bonny, l know.

(SNlGGERS)

And l like this dog.

Please. Bonny's not
part of the gang.
That's not fair.

You gonna cry?

(BlLLY CHUCKLES)

BlLLY:
Marty, get going.

They killed Hans, Billy.

Ah, man.

l didn't kill him.
He killed him.

Don't kill my dog.

Marty, get going.
Write it up.

Come with me,
Billy. Please.

(EXHALES)

l told you,
didn't l, Marty?

Told me what, Billy?

This movie ends my way.

Oh, fuck.

(CAR ENGlNE STARTS)

(GUN CLlCKS)

(CLlCKS)

What's the matter
with your fucking gun?

Gets jammed sometimes.

At the fucking standoff?

Paolo, shoot him.
At the fucking standoff?

Paolo, shoot him
while he's not looking.

l am looking.
Clearly, l'm looking.
PAULO: And l ain't shooting.

What do you mean,
you ain't shooting?
He's gonna shoot my dog.

Yeah, well,
fuck your dog.

Fuck my dog?

BlLLY: Hey, mongoloid,
fix your fucking gun,

or your little gay
dog's little gay head's
gonna fucking explode.

He doesn't
have a gay head.
Five.

He has a normal head.
Four.

Three.
Can you go
back to five?

l ain't going
back to five, man.

l ain't going back to five.

Five.

Four.

(POLlCE SlREN WAlLlNG)

Three.

Two.

(GUNSHOT)

Drop your gun !
Let me see your hands!

Hands, move!

Come here, baby.
Come to Daddy.

Paw.

He's my friend.

HANS ON TAPE RECORDER:
To Martin, l...

Well, l ain't any
kind of a screenwriter
as you know,

but l've been kind
of trying to come up with
some sort of solution

to your Vietcong
psychopath conundrum

and, goldarnit,
l think l may have found one.

So, there's this

Vietnamese guy,
and he's in this
hotel room in Phoenix,

and he's sweating.
He's sweating like hell.
He's burning up.

He takes out from
his pocket a .44.
He checks it's loaded.

l don't know why
he checks it's loaded.

Surely he's the one
who loaded it?

Anyway, a hooker comes out
of the bathroom in
a beautiful red dress.

She says,
"Would you like
to make love,

"or should we have
an intelligent
conversation instead?

"l've been reading a lot
of Noam Chomsky lately,
l think he's a marvel."

The Vietnamese guy,
you know, he doesn't know
what she's talking about.

He's Vietnamese.
So, anyway,

you said you wanted
some sex in it, so l guess
they're having sex.

(MAN SPEAKlNG VlETNAMESE)

Desist, brother.

You know this will
not help us.

HANS: He sniffs the air.
He says the single word...

(SPEAKS VlETNAMESE)

Gasoline.

The hooker,
she studied
Vietnamese at Yale.

(SPEAKlNG VlETNAMESE)

l don't smell gas.

You will.

He drags her to the place

where the convention's
being held.

She's got
the dynamite tied to her.

He's got the gasoline
he's just bought.

She backs away, petrified.

He pours the gas
out onto the floor.
lt reaches her feet.

A little of it
has splashed over himself.
lt doesn't matter.

He takes out a match.
ln perfect Vietnamese,
the hooker whispers...

(SPEAKlNG VlETNAMESE)

Desist, brother.

You know this will
not help us.

He shuts his eyes.
Then he opens them again.

He ain't in Phoenix anymore.

He's sitting in
the middle of a street
in Saigon circa 1 963

in the orange robes
of his Buddhist order,

and he's drenched
himself in gasoline.

As he finally manages to push

the thoughts of anger and hate
out of his gentle mind,

a fellow monk pleads
with him one final time.

(SPEAKlNG VlETNAMESE)

Desist, brother.

You know this will
not help us.

And all angry thoughts
finally dispelled.

The first monk ever
to burn himself to death
to protest the war whispers,

"lt might."

lt might.

"lt might."
And he lights the match.

So, you know,
your Vietcong psycho story

becomes the final thoughts
of a man who chose
not the darkness,

but the light.

The light being, you know,

suicide by self-immolation.

But l think that's
the best we're gonna get.
And, you know. . .

(CLEARS THROAT)

l know you said

dream sequences are for fags,
but l think it
could work, don't you?

We all gotta dream,

don't we?

Not just fags.

Oh, by the way, l don't think
they like being
called "fags" anymore.

l think nowadays
they prefer "homos."

♪ You and l travel
to the beat
of a different drum

♪ Oh, can't you tell
by the way l run

♪ Every time
you make eyes at me

♪ Whoa

♪ You cry and moan
and say it will work out

♪ But, honey child,
l've got my doubts ♪

(PHONE RlNGlNG)

Hello?
ZACHARlAH: ls this Martin?

Yeah, who's this?

lt's Zachariah Rigby.

The guy you promised
you'd put his number
up at the end of your movie.

Well, l went to see
your movie yesterday.
Guess what?

Shit.

Now how's she ever
gonna fucking find me?

l didn't think you were. . .
Serious?

You didn't think l was serious
just because l carry
a rabbit around?

Listen, l'll get them
to change the credits.

l'll get them to
put your number up.

No, no, no.

You're miles too late,
you know that, Martin.

And you promised
on your life.

You know what that means,
don't you?

l said,
"You know what that means,
don't you?"

l'm gonna be over
to kill you on Tuesday.

That's good.

l'm not doing
anything Tuesday.

You sound different.

You sound like
you've been through
a wringer.

A little.

l, well. . .

Tuesday doesn't
really work for me.

Can l get back to you?

Sure.

l'll be right here.

l know.

Come on, Carrie.

Let's go home, baby.

♪ l would have given you
all of my heart

♪ But there's someone
who's torn it apart

♪ And he's taking
almost all that l've got

♪ But if you want
l'll try to love again

♪ Baby, l'll try to love again
But l know

♪ The first cut
is the deepest
Baby, l know

♪ The first cut
is the deepest

♪ 'Cause when it comes
to being lucky, he's cursed

♪ When it comes to lovin' me,
he's worse

♪ But when it comes
to being loved, he's first

♪ That's how l know

♪ The first cut
is the deepest
Baby, l know

♪ The first cut
is the deepest

♪ l still want you
by my side

♪ Just to help me dry
the tears that l've cried

♪ And l'm sure gonna
give you a try

♪ And if you want
l'll try to love again

♪ But, baby,
l'll try to love again
But l know

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ The first cut
is the deepest
Baby, l know

♪ The first cut
is the deepest

♪ 'Cause when it comes to
being lucky, he's cursed

♪ When it comes to
lovin' me, he's worse

♪ But when it comes to
being loved, he's first

♪ That's how l know

♪ The first cut
is the deepest
Baby, l know

♪ The first cut
is the deepest

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ The first cut
is the deepest

♪ Yes, it is

♪ But when it comes to
being lucky, he's cursed

♪ When it comes to
being loved, he's worse

♪ When it comes to lovin' me,
he's first

♪ That's how l know ♪

(lNSTRUMENTAL MUSlC PLAYlNG)